Simpsons Fanon
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Yokel Chords Marge gets up late on a school day hilarity ensues. Then it’s not so funny when she gets in trouble for allowing her kids to be late for school.

Then Bart tells a story at lunch illustrated in the style of Tim Burton animated films and Lisa tutors the Spuckler kids after Skinner denies them an education.

Plot[]

The couch gag is Ralph at a vending machine in the Simpsons lounge. He buys a Homer doll and eats its head.

.......

The episode starts with Marge on a beach relaxing and reading James Patterson books. Suddenly her imaginary boyfriend the gay Latino pirate appears with a drink for her.

“Marge darling. I brought you a Long Island ice tea.” said the gay Latino pirate.

“Ooooooh Gabriel!” Marge snogged him.

In real life Homer rolled about in his sleep wondering why Marge was having sexual thoughts about other men but decided out of annoyance at her infidelity to simply not wake her when she overslept one school morning.

Marge’s romance with the ambiguously gay pirate was interrupted when James Patterson arrived on a white horse.

“James Patterson!” Marge gasped.

“Well I know when I’m not wanted!” said the ambiguously gay pirate in a huff as he vanished.

“Marge come with me and help me write more nursery rhyme themed crime novels!” said James Patterson.

They rode about in the white horse.

“I know! Little Bo Peep!” said Marge.

“That’s a great idea! The clue could be her sheep!” said James Patterson. “Marge why are we talking when we could...” he never finished what he was gonna say because he rang like an alarm clock and his eyes rolled about.

Marge woke with a start to find it was already nine o clock in the morning!

“Ahhhh! I overslept! The whole family can’t start the day without me!” Marge gasped.

Homer came in in his pajamas drinking his morning cocoa.

”Homer, you’re awake already?” Marge asked.

”Eh stumbled in a dawn or something, same diff...” said Homer.

“Morning honey. Slept well?” Homer smirked deviously. That’ll teach her to have unfaithful thoughts about other men...

“A little too well! I overslept! And you should be at work by now!” Marge replied frantically getting his work clothes out. “And the kids should be at school by now!” She threw Homer’s clothes on the bed for him. “And why didn’t you wake me?!”

“You looked so peaceful with your imaginary boyfriend Gabriel.” said Homer.

“Oh that’s so petty! Fine! I’ll get you back for this next time you say women’s names in your sleep!” Marge frowned.

Homer was half getting dressed half following Marge to wake the kids. “Oh and Lisa tried poking you but the boys felt you wanted the lie in so...”

Marge gasped when she found Lisa in her room tied and gagged to her chair.

“Bart and Oscar tied me to my chair then went to watch morning cartoons!” Lisa ranted.

Marge was very annoyed.

She found Bart, Hugo and Oscar watching cartoons.

“Kids you do realize you’re an hour late for school!” Marge yelled.

“They know, mom...” Lisa grumbled.

“Sssh! This episode is intense!” said Bart watching a cartoon.

Marge dragged the boys upstairs by their pajama collars.

“Mom there’s no point rushing us. If I go in now I’ll get in very big trouble with Skinner for being so late. And so will you mom! They might get the authorities involved!” said Bart.

“Oh my! What do I do? I could lose my kids!” Marge ran about in a circle. “I’ll just Have to say you’re all sick!”

“Mom, no!” Lisa whined.

“Lis, do you want mom to get in big trouble?” Bart asked with a frown.

“No, but...” Lisa frowned.

“It was an accident! I didn’t mean to over sleep!” Marge whined.

“I know Mom. But the school won’t buy that excuse...” said Bart.

“Mom this isn’t like you! I think you need to see Dr Payne!” said Lisa concerned by Mom oversleeping.

...

And so the Simpson kids had the day off as Marge lied, claiming they were sick with the flu. Lisa glared as she went to her room to study what she would have been learning today.

The next day was also a school day. Marge got everyone in on time. But Skinner was not happy to see her.

“I see Bart, Lisa and Hugo are feeling much better now Mrs Simpson...” Skinner said in a serious tone.

“Principal Skinner I can explain!” Marge replied.

“Oh I’m sure you have some sort of excuse why your children were absent yesterday...” said Skinner.

Things got worse for Marge.

She over slept on church day (Saturday/Sunday)!

“Nyaaaaagh! We missed church!” Marge screamed.

“Mmmmmmm! I feel like a warm toasted cinnamon bun...” said Homer grabbing the blanket to wrap himself up.

“Homer it’s half past eleven... get up...” Marge sighed.

Depressed she got herself ready when she heard Homer cursing in the shower.

“Bet your sweet.... ass!” came Homer’s voice from the en suite.

“Homer! Language!” Marge scolded him.

Downstairs she found Bart playing video games in a diaper.

“Bart why are you in a diaper?!” Marge asked.

“Uh... You saw nothing!” Bart ran off to get dressed.

Later...

“Our family has been so sinful today! And it’s all my fault!” Marge sobbed.

“Don’t blame yourself Mom! It was an accident! Maybe you have a sleep condition?” said Lisa.

“Probably but I’ve just realized our pets haven’t got married! They’ve been living in sin!” said Marge holding the cat and dog. They whined.

“Mom... animals don’t get married...” Lisa sighed. Mom could be really silly sometimes.

...

One school morning Homer agreed to get everyone ready and off to school so as not to have a repeat if Marge slept in. However he did not pack the kids their lunches.

“I got a drawing of a sandwich. What did you get Lisa?” Bart sighed.

“Grampa’s medicine...” said Lisa.

Meanwhile on the retirement home bus for days out.

“Hey you’re not the driver you crazy man!!” Crazy old Jewish man yelled at Abe who had hijacked the bus! Hehehe!

“Shut up pizzas! I have to deliver you?” Abe yelled. Oh god! XD.

On the school bus.

“Didn’t Dad give you both an orange?” Hugo asked.

“Nope. No fruit in here...” said Bart.

Oscar sat smirking with grotesquely swollen testicles in his shorts. Actually oranges from Bart and Lisa’s lunches.

“Eeeeeeew! Oz!!” Bart and Lisa groaned.

“Oz stop being disgusting and zap us up some lunches!” Bart nagged him.

“He’ll tell Dark Stanley stories again...” Lisa explained.

Oscar sighed and magicked up some lunch for Bart, Lisa and Hugo. He does not care for the laws of equivalent exchange and creating matter from nothing.

...

Bart got off the bus with his magicked up lunch and saw kids looking at their lunch. Uter had a hoagie sandwich.

At lunch he regurgitated his heart to scare his friends. (Regurgitated a cow heart actually.)

“That’s just disgusting...” said Ace.

Then he told a story.

”So as you know folks, today is the anniversary of the Dark Stanley Murders...” said Bart.

”Ooooooooh!” said the kids.

”I will begin. Uh... just imagine I’m holding a lit torch under my chin pointing upwards....” said Bart.

Oscar shone a torch in his face.

”Ow! Oz that’s too bright! Turn it off!” Bart groaned.

He started telling the gothic illustrated story. It looked like something by Tim Burton or the brothers Grimm.

“Wooooo! Everything is all Tim Burton like! Look! Jack Skellingtom!” Oscar talked over the story of Dark Stanley.

“Oz! Your ruining the mood!” Bart whined.

Bart continued narrating about a crazy school cook.

“And then Jack Skellington became the pumpkin king and defeated Oogie Boogie, the end.” said Oscar.

“No that’s not what happened!” Bart frowned and pouted. “Now stop comparing the artist of the Dark Stanley animation to Tim Burton!”

“Besides it looked more early nineteenth century German children’s stories like the brothers Grimm than Tim Burton.” said Martin.

“Or Grey.” said Wendell.

“Guys! Do you want to hear my story about Dark Stanley or not?!” Bart ranted.

They responded that they did.

“Then shut up and let me tell the story!!” He sighed. “Anyway the old school cook was a surly man called Stanley DeGroot...”

“I am Grooooooot!” Oscar yelled.

”I am Groot?” Groot asked.

”Forget! I’ll tell you all later...” Bart snapped. Annoyed at interruptions.

...

Marge went to see Dr Payne about her oversleeping.

“And then I was late getting the kids up for school!” She sobbed loudly.

Dr Payne pondered a treatment. “I propose plenty of vitamins. Lethargy/sleepiness in the morning is usually caused by lack of certain vitamins.” said Dr Payne. “Could perhaps a family member get you up if you sleep in?”

“Hmmmmm... no not really...” Marge wanted to say Lisa could, but her brothers always overpowered her and tied her up in her room so they could be late to school from watching cartoons.

“Hmmmm... I see...” said Dr Payne.

...

One school morning Otto picked up and dropped off seven extra kids at the school. They were from the Spuckler brood. Bart and his friends found the yokel kids amusing, especially when they were quite perplexed to be going to school but accepted it was where they were meant to go anyway.

“Otto! These aren’t our students! We don’t teach these kids!” said Skinner, cross with Otto.

Lisa gasped. Horrified the school was denying education to certain kids.

“Now just wait a minute, Principal-“ Lisa got on her soap box.

“Now, Lisa. I don’t have time for your speeches...” said Skinner.

“Hmmmmmph! Then maybe you’ll listen to super intendant Chalmers!” said Lisa.

“Skinnnneeeer!” Chalmers yelled.

“Superintendent Chalmers!” Skinner gasped.

“Is this true?! That one of my schools is denying children an education?!” Chalmers asked clearly shocked and disappointed.

“Their father actively refused places for his children here sir!” said Skinner.

“Yes that’s true.” said Cleatus. “I Home school em. I teach the bigguns, and they teach the youhg’uns. But since nobody ever fought me the whole process is a waste of time...”

“Skinner... We leave no children behind! That’s our motto!” said Chalmers.

“If it helps, I’ll be willing to teach them!” said Lisa.

“Well there you go sir! We have a volunteer!” said Skinner.

“Wow, you’re really taking this well Principal Skinner.” said Lisa.

“Well, we were going to do musical again that made us look like evil teachers that find our highest achieving student an annoying know it all...” said Skinner.

“But I was like no. You’re the good guys. Maybe on Halloween... but not in regular canon.” said Oscar.

Lisa celebrates being made a teacher for the Spuckler kids by singing The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

“The hills are aliiiiiiiive! With the sound of- Aaaaaaaaghh!” Lisa stumbled off of a cliff, bashed her head several times on rocks before falling embarrassingly into a big pool of mud that was part of the pig pen at the Spuckler’s house.

“Hey Brandine! The pigs done laid a little girl!” said Cleatus being stupid.

Lisa rubbed the mud out of her eyes. She had mud all over her face so she looked unfortunately racist.

“Hey Brandine, this little girl thinks she’s one of those Blackface minstrel acts!” said Cleatus.

“Certainly not! As if!” Lisa replied. “I’m just splattered with mud!” She explained. “I am your children’s tutor!” said Lisa.

Plot 2[]

Cleatus lined his kids up and told them Lisa was their tutor.

“Now if you need me, I’ll be sat on the porch drinking white spirit.” said Cleatus.

Lisa sighed at his stupidity.

She then wrote her name on a blackboard. “I’m Lisa! What’s yours?” Lisa asked.

“Britney.” said Britney Spuckler.

“Whitney.” said Whitney Spuckler.

“Jitney.” said Jitney Spuckler.

“Dubya.” said Dubya Spuckler. He was ginger with an eyepatch.

“Crystal Meth!” said Crystal Meth Spuckler.

“Incest!” said Incest, a boy with scruffy clothes. Scruffy brown hair and buck teeth.

“Born in Disney World!” said Born in Disney World. He was a small boy wearing a blue baby gro (footed pyjamas) and a Mickey Mouse hat. Someone had bitten one of the ears on his hat.

“Birthday!” said Birthday Spuckler. A ginger haired boy wearing a potato sack as clothes.

“Do we have to do this every lesson...” Dubya asked.

Lisa groaned.

...

Bart was being driven somewhere by Homer.

“Why do I have to see a psychiatrist just because I told a scary story and stabbed the dissecting frogs in science class with scalpels?” Bart whined.

“Boy, no one except me knows you’re a lost cause. I don’t care where you go to today as long as you’re back here by the time that Chinese restaurant I like closes. Because I can drink beer in there.” said Homer.

There was a Chinese man and his wife but they spoke normally. “Here he comes Linda... the man putting our kids through college...” said the Chinese restaurant owner. He puts on a fez and a cartoon China man ponytail. Then started talking in a silly Chinese accent while squinting.

“Ah so! Ah so! Meesah Simpson! You come back! You our favoulite customer! You rike dlinking!”

Homer laughed. “You guys are hilarious! Ah me rikey the flied lice!” Homer did bad China man impressions.

“How’s Margie? She super lady!” said the restaurant owner’s wife.

“Oh she’s doing fine.” said Homer as he went inside the restaurant.

Bart rolled his eyes and went to the arcade. While there he played Evil Grandma and the Ungrateful Grandson.

Oscar had a new video game.

“Death Kill City II! Death Kill Stories!” said Oscar proudly as he showed Bart the video game.

“Wow! That’s rated bad for everyone! How did you get that?!” Bart asked with joy.

“Oh you should know by now I obviously did a few illegal things to get it...” said Oscar.

“Oh you! Let’s go home and play it!” said Bart.

“Nah we better play it at my uncles flat. Your mom won’t like us playing this.” said Oscar.

“Oh yeah.” said Bart. “Oh shoot! I remembered! I must get back to my dad’s car before the Chinese restaurant across the road closes.” said Bart.

“You mean that one where the owners do bad China man impressions because their drunk customers find them funny?” Oscar asked.

“Yep...” said Bart.

“Well I like Chinese food so I’ll ask Homer if we can hang out later.” said Oscar.

...

Meanwhile at Springfield Elementary the teachers sung a song because this is a musical episode... they sung to the tune of It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, How fo we stop a know it all like Lisa?

“How do we stop a know it all like Lisa?” Teachers.

“Lisa!” Backing singers.

“She’s every where we gooooo!” Teachers.

“Take a look at the five and ten! There she goes again! Self righteous and obnoxiously smart there she goes!” An apple rolls between their legs and Skinner takes it and bites it.

“How do we stop a know it all like Lisa!”

“Lisa!”

“Soon the bells will start!”

And so on and so forth.

Mrs Krabappel was then finishing the register and as such was on all the kids with Z surnames.

“Zimmerman... Oscar what are you doing unhand him!” Oscar was beating up a kid.

”Zimmerman murdered a black kid for being in his house without his permission and got way with it!” Oscar yelled.

”Zorx.” called out Mrs krabappel.

”Clearly made that name up...” said Oscar.

“Zzyzwiski.” (Kearney’s surname)

”Still here Mrs K.... after all these years....” Kearney sighed.

...

At the PTA.

”The last bake sale was terrible! Kids just took bites from the cookies and no one bought anything.” said Skinner.

In a flashback. A kid picked up a cookie from Marge’s table, bit it and put it back in disgust.

”Stop that! You naughty little monkey!” Marge scolded the kid for biting cookies and putting them back.

The present.

”If we don’t do something we could lose state funding!” said Chalmers.

”I still think we should be allowed to sing about how we think Lisa is an insufferable know it all....” said Dewey Largo.


...

After spending their money trying to beat the high scores in the arcade Bart and Oscar sat on the curb by Homer’s car replacing certain words in a kids story book with rude or silly alternatives.

“And one more noun.” said Oscar.

“Booger!” Bart suggested as they giggled. “Okay now read it back!”

“The county fair is always sucky to visit on a hot summer fart! You can have delicious cotton hate! And ride the ferris burp and the merry go booger!” Oscar read the story. They bursted out laughing.

“Now what does this tell you buddy?” Oscar asked.

“That, that is one terrible county fair!” Bart laughed.

“And...” Oscar asked.

“That my dad never takes me on the merry go booger! He’s always passed out in the parking snot...” said Bart depressed but they suddenly bursted out laughing again.

“Parking snot! You can’t make that up!” Oscar said in hysterical laughter.

Suddenly Homer was extremely drunk as the Chinese restaurant owner guided him out.

“Hey I’m not yet Drunk!” Homer slurred.

“It’s closing time now Meesah Simpson! You go sleepy sleepy now!” said the Chinese restaurant owner throwing him in a dumpster full of hungry Clownjas. And shutting the lid on him.

“Ow! These clowns are biting me...” Homer groaned.

“(Ripper Roo sounds)” went the Clownjas.

“Did you get his wallet...” said the restaurant owner to his wife.

“Every president head has a word balloon saying I am Gay!” said the restaurant owner’s wife.

...

Lisa took the Yokel kids to down town Springfield. To the tune of “These are a few of my favorite things” by Dame Julie Andrews she sings about high culture and art.

They have coffees at a bistro.

“It is not a cookie!” A hipster yells at Oscar.

“Fine... May I have a biscuit please...” said Oscar.

“It’s a biscotti!” The hipster yells.

Then they go to the library where Comic Book Guy is reading books on artists. For some reason.

“Dali, Dega, Monet... these are names you Yokel folk should knooooow!” sang Comic Book Guy.

Then they went to see a disgusting art movie! A man was about to cut a woman’s eye with a straight razor.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Lisa and the Spuckler kids screamed and covered their eyes.

“Outsider art by mental defectives!” Lisa sung as Crazy Cat Lady smothered her cats in paint and threw them at a canvas.

“Hey!” Homer and his art tutor yelled as he made an angry sculpture again.

Then Lisa took the Spuckler kids to see an opera with Space Mama from Rayman as Brumhilder.

“German opera!” said Lisa singing.

“The coolest Mom!” Oscar sang coming out of a washing machine.

“Why don’t you see if she’ll adopt ya?” Lisa sung.

“She’s still a Mom...” said Oscar.

“Eat your greens!” said Space Mama.

Then they did random things.

“Eating tapas!” said Incest as he ate tapas.

“Explicit rappers!” said Dubya as they watched some rappers have an insult/rap duel.

“Mrs Skinner in Mame!” Lisa sung. Agnes Skinner showed off her flabby old arms.

“Eeeeeeeew!” Oscar gagged.

...

In Uncle Buck Tamaki’s flat, Oscar and Bart were playing Death Kill II on his Games console.

The game consisted of giant robots and Japanese school girls beating the crap out of each other. And ninjas and pirates. The whole world then exploded.

“Congratulations! You have destroyed the world! End of level one!” said the game.

“I had no idea what we were doing, or what we were playing as. But apparently we completed the first level.” said Oscar.

“I thought I was the giant robot.” said Bart.

“No you were one of the Japanese School girls. I was the hentai tentacle monster.” said Oscar.

"What game should we play next?" Bart asked himself. "Mortal Kombat? Street Fighter? Bonestorm VII? Bloodstorm III? Grand Theft Scratchy?"

...

Now the happy middle of the story must take a turn for the worse.

“What?!” Bart and Lisa in comic book panels yell.

Yes, you both knew this was coming.

Lisa was dismayed as Krusty some how got Cleatus to sell his children to him. She could only watch as he made them sing and put on a silly performance on the Krusty the clown show as a joke poking fun at yokels.

While Bart was dismayed to find the school only paid for five sessions with the therapists. He only attended one because he was playing video games with Oscar instead.

“But we hardly got to know each other!” said Bart.

“Sorry Bart. But your school only paid for five sessions. And you didn’t turn up to any of them...” said the psychiatrist/therapist whatever lady.

“I guess it’s back to seeing the school psychiatrist...” said Bart glumly.

“Aaaaaaagh! Dark Stanley is going to eat my brains!” The school psychiatrist screamed as she ran out of the school.

Bart sweat dropped with embarrassment at her antics.

Both depressed by these turn of events in their stories Bart and Lisa sat in the lounge at home.

“Krusty took my students. Now I have no class to teach...” Lisa groaned.

“I didn’t get to know my surprisingly hot therapist... and actually get some help I actually needed.

“Eeeeeeew! Bart!” Lisa groaned in disgust. “And aside from punishing you for telling spooky stories at lunch and stabbing the dissecting frogs in science class, why did you even need to see her?”

“I have a touch of schizophrenia and mild narcissistic rage...” said Bart.

“How about you two stop moping and sort out your problems.” said Oscar.

“How can I? I don’t have a hundred dollars per therapy session!” said Bart.

“Okay... Lisa, was it just Cleatus that sold his kids to Krusty?” said Oscar.

“Yes.” said Lisa. “Where are you going with this?”

“I bet, knowing how protective of her children she is. Brandine would not be happy to find out Cleatus sold them into show business.” said Oscar.

“Of course! Oscar you’re a genius!” said Lisa kissing him. She went off to tell Brandine the news.

Oscar blushed.

Plot 3[]

Lisa was swiftly thrown out of Krustylu Studios.

”Ugh! You haven’t heard the last of this!” yelled Lisa.

”Well I think that’s the last we’ve heard of this.” said Krusty to Sideshow Mel and Cleatus while smoking a cigar.

”No you haven’t!” Lisa yelled.

At home Bart was depressed and talking to soft toys.

”Maybe I tell people Don’t have a Cow, because I want them to have a cow?”

”Homer we have to do something... Bart should not be having a crush on his psychiatrist...” said Marge.

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