Treehouse of Horror IX Is the ninth Treehouse of Horror episode and the first episode of season ten. In Hell Toupee Snake is executed for one too many crimes after he robs the Kwik e Mart. However his hair possesses Homer making him go on a killing spree against all of the witnesses who were at the Kwik e Mart that night, including Bart!
Then in Terror of Tiny Toon, Bart zaps himself and Lisa into the TV with a plutonium powered remote.
Finally in Starship Poopers Maggie is changing more than just her diapers as she is revealed to be Kang's daughter!
The opening title sequence is like a regular episode of the Simpsons except Bart is writing Treehouse of Horror IX on the chalkboard in blood and when the Simpsons arrive at the house they die in various violent ways. Bart is ran over by Homer, Lisa goes flying into the garage door and Homer is ran over by Marge.
In the lounge Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees are watching the TV.
"Where are the Simpsons?" Freddy asks.
"Ah, whattya gonna do..." Jason mumbles.
Hell Toupee One evening Apu is working in the Kwik e Mart. Moe is buying penicillin cereal and Bart is playing on the arcade machines.
However Snake barges in. "Stick em up! This is totally a robbery!" Snake points a gun at Apu.
However cops soon surround the store. Chief Wiggum arrests Snake.
"Snake that's your third felony this week... After you blew up that bus full of nuns..."
"But it was self defence!" Snake argued.
"Well you're gonna be seeing a lot of nuns where you're going. Hell! Because under the new three strikes law your third felony carries a death penalty!" Wiggum explained. "And you have plenty of witnesses.
Moe and Apu nod and murmur.
"You two are so dead!" Snake is mad at them and wants revenge.
"And don't forget little Bart here! He's a witness too!" Wiggum finds Bart hiding behind an arcade machine.
"Oh you are so dead little dude!" Snake warns as he is taken away.
"Oh thanks Chief!" Bart yells.
That night Troy McClure airs a special episode of a new programme where criminals are executed live on TV. Snake is up next and is sentenced to the electric chair. He is electrocuted and dies.
Homer cheers as a criminal is brought to justice. However Marge and Lisa find the programme gruesome. Bart is just worried about Snake wanting revenge.
"Bart he's dead now..." Oscar comforts him.
"People don't let death in this town stop them getting revenge..." Bart retorts shaken by Snake's last words to him.
One evening, Homer reads an advert for hair transplants offered by Dr Nick. He decides to visit the crazy doctor. Dr Nick sews Snake's still smouldering hair onto Homer's scalp.
Homer the goes home and shows off his new hair to the family. Marge thinks it suits him and makes him look rugged. Homer holds her lovingly and growls seductively before they go upstairs.
That night while Homer is sleeping, the hair takes over his mind. Homer wakes up and gets dressed. Snake is now the dominant personality controlling Homer like a puppet. Snake takes Homer to the Kwik e Mart.
"Sleep tight, chick-ee pie..." Snake says to Marge as he lights a cigarette and smokes it as he leaves for the Kwik e Mart.
At the Kwik e Mart Apu is still working.
"Goodness gracious Mr Homer! What brings you here this time of night?" Apu asks him.
"You sent me to the chair..." said Snake from Homer's body.
"Snake?! But you're dead!" Apu explained.
"I know you are, but what am I?" Snake asks in a dark tone as he grabs Apu and shoves him against the squishee machine. Apu screams his last scream.
The following night Kent Brockman has an emergency broadcast. "Tonight, murder at the Kwik e Mart as Springfield's beloved Apu Nahasa-How the hell do I read that, ahem! Our beloved Apu as been found dead. Police are at the scene live." Kent explained.
The Simpsons gasp in horror.
"We are checking all available options." Wiggum is drinking a blue squishee. "However Apu didn't suffer."
"Looks like he suffered a lot, Chief..." Lou explained as Apu was drowned in his squishee machine.
"Oh great Lou! How long were you gonna let me keep drinking this?" Wiggum groaned.
"Oh no! Who'll run the Kwik e Mart?" Marge asked.
Snake took over Homer again. He caused Homer to develop a smoking habit as he had some cigarettes hidden up his shirt sleeve. Snake controlled Homer smokes a cigarette and goes off somewhere.
"Where's Dad going at this hour?! And why has he taken up smoking?" Lisa asked.
"Hrrrrrm..." Marge groans.
Snake-Homer goes to Moe's.
"Hey, Homer." Moe greets him.
"Shut your squeakhole! I'm totally gonna murder you!" Snake warns Moe.
"Well someone's in a bad mood..." Moe replies.
Snake grabs a corkscrew and stabs Moe with it and rips out his heart.
"Oh for crying out loud..." Moe says before dying and falling face first into his cereal.
Soon Moe's death reaches the news. The Simpsons are horrified by this news.
"But with Apu and Moe dead, I was the last witness that night!" Bart is worried as he's next.
"Don't worry, no one can hurt you here, (Snake takes over) Dude." Homer brushes his hair back into style and reasserts control of his own body.
However Bart's still uneasy so Homer agrees to board up his bedroom door and windows, from the inside...
"There, now no one can get in!" Homer reassures him. However Snake takes over and holds the sledgehammer in a threatening manner.
"Dad?!" Bart gulps.
"Daddy's not here anymore Bart..." Snake warns as he tries to hit Bart with the sledgehammer. But misses.
"Aaaaaaaaagh! Mom! Dad's trying to kill me!" Bart runs about with Snake chasing him in Homer's body.
While this happens, Sideshow Bob climbs up a ladder to Bart's bedroom window while holding a knife in his mouth. However when he sees Snake/Homer chasing Bart with a sledgehammer and smashing everything. "Oh by the horns of Lucifer!" Sideshow Bob yells before giving up and going back down the ladder.
During the chase Snake smashes open Bart's door along with the nailed in boards. Lisa and Marge come in through the hole.
"That's it! Snake's hair must be-" Lisa's about to explain but is interrupted by Marge.
"Yes we know, Snake killed Apu and Moe! Big deal!" Marge rants. "Homer! Stop this at once!"
However Snake is still controlling Homer. He's tired of chasing Bart. "Baaaart... Daddy would like a word with yoooouuu..." Snake tries to lure Bart over to him.
"Dad! You have to fight the hair!" Bart yells.
Homer regains control. "He's right! Ooooh but I love my new hair!"
"More than your own son?" Snake asks him.
"Oh! Don't make me choose!" Homer cries.
"Tough luck, fatso. It's me or the boy." Snake replied trying to control him.
"No!" Homer fights him.
"The boy must die!" Snake yells.
"Nooooo!" Homer regains control of himself and rips off Snake's hair and throws it away.
"Dad!" Bart cries.
"Oh I'm sorry!" Homer cries as they hug. However the hair develops sentience of its own. Bart can only yelp before the hair latches onto his face like a facehugger from Alien. Bart muffles for help as the hair tries to kill him.
"Bart! Leave my boy alone you monster!" Homer starts punching Bart in the face trying to attack Snake's hair.
"Ow! That's my face, you idiot!" Bart tries to yell.
"Idiot!? Why you!" Homer strangles Bart.
However the cops break in, somehow.
"Homer you're under arrest for the murders of Moe and Apu Nahasa- No forget it, just Moe." Wiggum explains pointing a gun at Homer. So are the other officers.
"It's not me! It's the hair!" Homer yells, protesting his innocence. Snake's hair releases Bart and scuttles away.
"Blast it!" Wiggum and the others shoot the hair. Eventually the hair dies.
Maggie picks up and hugs the hair.
"Awwww!" Everyone cooes Maggie.
Terror of Tiny Toon Bart and Lisa are watching a very special Halloween episode of The Krusty the Clown show. Krusty is dressed as a vampire.
"(Krusty laugh) Tonight, I'm going to suck! Eh, your blood!" Krusty reads his autocue.
The audience cheer.
Krusty announces tonight's episode will be especially violent.
However Marge switches off the TV.
"Moooom!" The kid's groan.
"Sorry, but I wouldn't be a very good mother if I let you watch that." Marge explained. "Besides, I'm taking Maggie trick or treating. Wanna come?"
"It's too early and I'm uh planning on a few tricks..." Bart has a box of eggs nearby for egging houses.
"Homer?" Marge asks Homer if he would like to come.
"I'm just gonna stay in tonight honey while dressed as a hobo. Ooooh! Cold beans!" Homer as a hobo is in the kitchen eating beans from a can.
Oscar looks at Bart. Bart uses his psychic powers on Marge. She turns into a cactus.
"Ahhh! Okay you can watch Itchy and Scratchy! Please just change me back!" Marge whines. Bart turns her back and turns on the TV.
"See ya later Mom!" Bart says as she leaves. Homer is cowering in the kitchen eating beans.
Lisa is annoyed at Bart.
"Mom might be scared of your powers, but I'm not! Now turn off that cartoon!" Lisa yells.
"No!" Bart yells, holding the remote away from her.
"Bart! Stop undermining Mom and Dad's authority!" Lisa tries to grab the remote, but Bart and Oscar play keep away with it.
However eventually one of them drops the remote and the batteries spill out and go under the couch.
"Oh great, butterfingers!" Bart replies.
"Mmmm, Butterfingers..." Oscar is thinking about Bart's favourite chocolate bar he won't let anyone have.
"Stay away from my Butterfingers..." Bart mutters as he tries to find the batteries. "Hang on, Dad might have some in his toolbox."
Bart takes out Homer's toolbox. "Cool! Plutonium!" He finds a plutonium bar in it. Still glowing a sickly green.
"No Bart! That's highly radioactive!" Lisa warns. However Bart has already placed it in the battery slot and is smashing it in with a hammer.
The remote control is glowing an eerie green. Bart plays about with the controls. He finds he can change everyone's colours. He turns Lisa green with a button press. "Cool!"
"Bart hand over the remote!" Lisa yells.
"Make me." Bart retorts. Lisa lunges at him but he presses pause. She is frozen in midair.
"Coooool! You paused her!" Oscar grins.
"Now we can watch Itchy and Scratchy in peace!" Bart said with a smirk. He reminded the TV all the way back to the start of the show and they watched Itchy and Scratchy in peace.
Until Homer wanted to watch the football of course.
"Okay, cartoon time is over... and- Bart! What did you do to your sister?!" Homer yelled.
"She's fine..." Bart pointed the magic remote at Lisa and pushed play. Lisa returned to normal except she was still green.
"Grrr! Bart!" Lisa jumped on Bart and tried to strangle him. During the ruckus they changed colour because they were holding down the colour button on the remote.
"Hey! No fighting! And no changing color! You're making me nauseous!" Homer told them off.
Bart then accidentally pushed enter on the remote. Zapping himself and Lisa into the TV.
"Aaaaaagh!" Homer screamed as they were zapped in. "What will I do? What will I do?"
Bart and Lisa found themselves in the football game on the pitch. However they were nearly tackled by a herd of football players.
"There are two small children on the field! What a spectacle!" said the commentator.
"Daaaaad!" Bart and Lisa yelled as they ran.
"Boring..." Homer changed the channel. It was on Itchy and Scratchy again.
Bart and Lisa found themselves in their favourite cartoon.
"Wow! We're actually in Itchy and Scratchy's world!" Bart cooed.
"Look! Here comes Itchy and Scratchy now!" Lisa explained.
Itchy and Scratchy came into their house after a bloody, violent episode of Itchy tormenting Scratchy.
"Ow, being disembowelled really hurts! I need to lie down..." Scratchy groans.
"Hang on, there's some kids in our house!" Itchy explained.
"Hi Itchy!" Bart waved at them.
Itchy laughed dementedly and threw an ax at Bart. It just missed his head.
"Oh, cartoon violence...!" Bart giggled. However blood ran down his head.
"Bart! You're bleeding!" Lisa yelled.
"Aaaaaagh!" Bart screamed.
Itchy and Scratchy were now loading a cannon with various axes, knives and saws. They lit it and it fired the sharp devices at Bart and Lisa.
Bart and Lisa screamed and their eyes leapt out of their sockets like in a cartoon. They ran away from the flying weapons.
They were outside on the street of Itchy and Scratchy's world. Eventually they dived to the ground and the weapons flew passed them harmlessly.
However Itchy and Scratchy chased after them with axes.
"Run!" Lisa warned as they ran away.
"How can you kids watch this crap?" Homer asked. Oscar shushed him.
In the cartoon a police car pulled up. Bart and Lisa got in hoping they'd be safe from Itchy and Scratchy.
However Itchy and Scratchy were driving! Itchy pulls out a chainsaw and tries to slice Bart and Lisa to pieces with it. They scream and dive to avoid the deadly chainsaw.
During the process Itchy accidentally slices off Scratchy's arms.
"Ow!" Scratchy yells.
"Sorry!" Itchy replies.
"It's okay." Scratchy remarks while driving the car with no arms.
Bart finds a pen on himself somehow. He quickly draws the word Eject in a circle on the back of the front seats and pushes it. The button becomes real and sends them flying out of the police car and thousands of feet into the air.
"Coool!" Oscar coos as he watches them.
It being a cartoon Bart lies down with his hands folded behind his head in a relaxed position as they ascend into the air.
"Um, Bart..." Lisa asks.
"I'm trying to relax, pipe down!" Bart responds. Lisa picks him up and makes him look down.
Itchy and Scratchy are in a field full of electrified bear traps. They turn on the power with a lever. The bear traps buzz with electricity.
Bart and Lisa scream as they fall.
"Boring... Let's see what else is on." Homer switches the channel to the Regis Philbin cookery show. A live action cookery show with Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford. They are cooking a soup.
Regis tastes the soup.
However Bart and Lisa appear in a flash of light and fall into the soup splashing boiling hot soup all over Regis.
"Ow! My eyes! My beautiful eyes!" Regis screams.
Bart and Lisa climb out of the soup and run off. Itchy and Scratchy climb out of the soup and chase after them.
"Oh God! They're coming out of the soup! I'm outta here! You can do this show on you're own Regis!" Kathie storms off confused by the madness. Regis is still screaming in pain.
"I wanna watch the cartoon!" Oscar whines as he changes the channel.
Bart and Lisa are zapped through different programmes until they arrive in Itchy and Scratchy's house again.
"We're back in Itchy and Scratchy's! Quick! Dad! Let us out!" Bart and Lisa pound on the inside of the TV.
However during the time Homer ponders what to do, Itchy and Scratchy arrive dressed as firemen. They turn on a hose wired up to a tank of piranhas. The piranhas fly out and eat Bart's clothes, skin and flesh from the neck downwards.
"Ow ow ow! Geez! That must have hurt!" Bart laments now being a skeleton from the neck down.
"Dad! Push exit!" Lisa yells.
Homer pushes Exit and Bart and Lisa are zapped out of the TV. They're back to normal size, but Bart's a skeleton from the neck down.
Marge and Maggie come in from trick or treating.
"Aaaaagh! Maggie look out! A skeleton!" Marge yells.
"I'll fix this!" Lisa takes the remote and pushes rewind. The piranhas come out of the TV, reverse eat Bart's flesh, skin and clothes back onto him, which hurts just as much as the first time and then they go back into the TV.
"Ow! Well that was disturbing..." Bart remarked, glad to be back to normal.
However Itchy and Scratchy are trying to break out of the TV.
"Aaaaaaagh!" Everyone screams. However the cat and mouse duo are normal size for themselves in the real world. I.e. Itchy is as small as an actual mouse.
Homer giggles as he picks up Itchy. Itchy squeaks and wriggles about trying to swing his axe at Homer. "Hehehe, cute!" Homer puts Itchy in the mouse cage with Lisa's mouse, who's currently sleeping. Itchy runs about on the mouse wheel.
Meanwhile Snowball II and Scratchy fall in love.
"Aaaawwww! They're in love!" Marge coos. "Which means you will have to be neutered!" she adds while picking up Scratchy.
"Noooooooo!" Scratchy screams while covering his crotch.
Starship Poopers It's breakfast and the Simpsons are in the kitchen eating. Suddenly Maggie starts crying.
"What's up with Stinky?" Bart asks.
"Oh Maggie must be teething! Look! She's grown a tooth!" Marge explained pulling open Maggie's mouth gently to show she had grown a fang. Maggie was dribbling.
"Eeeeeeew! Now I don't want my porridge!" Bart groans and leaves his food.
"Me neither..." Lisa leaves hers.
"Mmmm, extra servings..." Homer eats Bart and Lisa's porridge.
Later that morning Bart and Lisa are watching cartoons while Homer plays with Maggie. He is playing this lil piggy.
However Maggie's legs come off! Homer is shocked, but doesn't know what to do.
"Marge look! Maggie lost her baby legs!" Homer explains shocked by what happened.
"Oh Lord!" Marge gasps. This isn't normal.
Suddenly Maggie grows writhing green tentacles and slithers off the couch across the room and up the wall and onto the ceiling.
Her pacifier drops on Bart's head. Bart and Lisa look up and scream.
"Homer do something! The ceiling is not a safe place for a baby to be!" Marge gasps.
"Okay okay..." Homer sighs. He gets up and fetches a broom. He starts poking Maggie with the broom to get her to come down. However she grabs the broom with her tentacles and swings Homer about smashing everything.
"No! Bad Maggie! Ah! Ow! D'oh!" Homer yells as he's swung about.
Later Maggie is taken to the doctor. However she chews up the doctor's thermometer. The doctor is unable to help with Maggie's transformation.
Marge went to see Hibbert who was sat around wearing his vest and pants.
However Maggie chewed up his thermometer.
"What's wrong Doc?" Marge asked.
"My only solution is fire! And lots of it!" said Dr Hibbert.
Marge sighed. "That's your solution for everything...
Hugo rolled his eyes at Hibbert's suggestions.
At home Maggie has lost her arms and his playing with her toys with her tentacles.
"Oh dear, if only you could tell us what's wrong Maggie..." Lisa sighs.
Maggie sucks her pacifier rapidly which sends a hidden signal into outer space. The signal is picked up by Kang and Kodos is ship.
"Huh?! Experiment Lullaby is in their larval stage! There's a message... Experiencing diaper rash..." Kodos read the message.
"We must go to earth at once!" Kang explained.
"Why?" Kodos asked.
"To see my daughter!" Kang replied while holding a soft toy that squeaks when squeezed.
At the Simpsons house, there's a knock at the door. Homer answers it. Kang and Kodos are at the door. "Oh great... Mormons..." Homer sighs.
"Actually we're Quantum Presbyterians." Kodos replied.
"We're here to see my daughter!" Kang demanded.
Marge came into the hall to see who was at the door. "Oh Lord... I was afraid this day would come..."
"What's going on? And why are you sqace octopi still here?!" Homer asked.
"You haven't told him?!" Kang glares at Marge.
Marge sighs defeated as if she's about to explain something she doesn't want to. "Homer. Kang is Maggie's real father..."
"Aaaaaagh!" Homer screamed. "You intergalactic hussy!" He starts crying. "How could you?!" He continues to cry. "Was he better than me?"
"No! It's not like that at all!" Marge replied making her case. "It all happened one Friday night when I was out in the yard taking in the laundry..."
Marge tells a flashback of her getting abducted by Kang and Kodos. Kang explains she is to be part of a cross species fertilisation experiment. He gives her a choice of romantic areas Humans like to make love in. Marge chooses reluctantly the couch.
"He tried all sorts of mind tricks and gestures."
Kang tries the yawn trick, when that doesn't work he yells "Look over there!" While Marge is distracted he zaps her with a ray. The ray apparently fertilised her. "There, all done."
"That was fast." Marge remarked.
"What are you implying?!" Kang is offended.
"Nothing!" Marge replies quickly.
Kang sends her back home.
Marge's story ends.
Homer is still crying at the thought of Marge being unfaithful.
"Enough soap drama! Hand over my daughter!" Kang grabs Maggie from Marge with his tentacles.
"No!" Homer and Marge pull back.
"You're not even her father!" Kang argued.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Bart comes in. "There is only one man who can settle this dispute..."
The Simpsons find themselves on the Jerry Springer show.
Jerry explains they have Kang backstage waiting, where he can't hear them.
"I hear all!" Kang explained.
Jerry interviews Marge who is embarrassed at having to come on the show.
The audience cheer for her.
"Kang you may come on now." Jerry calls Kang on.
He slithers on to an angry crowd booing him. They particularly jeer when he kisses Marge's hand. Homer suddenly punches him in the face.
Kang swears, but it's censored and they scuffle until security separate them and make them sit down.
After they've calmed down Jerry lets the audience ask questions. Betty from the Rugrats has a question. (XD)
"Yeah, I have a question for that gross green dude."
"Kang?" Jerry asks. Kang is offended at being referred to as gross.
"Yeah. If you're Maggie's father, where've you been?!" Betty asks. The audience cheer. "You need to learn your green ass some responsibility!" The audience get worked up even more.
Kang growls and vaporises Betty with a death ray. She does a stock scream sound effect as she dies.
"Hey! You can't bully my audience with your fancy ray gun!" Jerry yells.
Kang vaporises the rest of the audience.
Jerry realising he has no audience sits down and concludes the story with his opinion of the matter. He makes a long winded speech.
However Maggie hisses and leaps at him. She wraps her tentacles around his head like a facehugger clamping onto their victim.
Jerry swears and tries to pull her off. She bites him.
Kang then rushes past security and strangles Jerry while Maggie is still clinging to him and making angry baby sounds as she tries to bite.
Homer then starts fighting with Kang until he picks him up by his head with a tentacle.
There is censor beeps and yelling.
Marge swears under her breath in embarrassment as Bart and Oscar cheer Homer on.
The Simpsons and Kang and Kodos are in the Jerry Springer Studio parking lot.
"I can't believe Jerry's dead!" Lisa laments.
"Enough shenanigans! Give me my baby!" Kang demands.
"Or we will kill all of your politicians!" Kodos warns.
Marge smiles smugly. "Ooooh, you couldn't kill all of them..."
"We'll see about that!" Kang retorts as he leaves with Kodos, leaving Maggie with the Simpsons for now. The aliens drive off in their spaceship.
"Don't forget Ken Stark!" Bart replied.
The Simpsons decide to go home.
"Well, let's go home Maggie." Marge said to Maggie.
"Very well. I'll drive!" Maggie suddenly talks in a deep Kang-like voice. She laughs evilly as everyone gasps.
As the credits roll Maggie continues to laugh evilly.
"I need blood." She says before laughing again.
In his room, Bart has the plutonium powered super remote control laying on his desk as he is writing something.
"Whatcha writing?" Lisa asks.
"I'm adding Snake to my list of mortal enemies..." Bart replies before sighing almost tearfully.
On the list are the following names: Sideshow Bob, Dr Demento, Groundskeeper Willie and finally Snake Jailbird has been added.
Lisa comforts him. "Cheer up, it's Halloween!"
Gracie Films Gag
The gag is Regis Philbin screaming “My eyes! My beautiful eyes!” With an echo while the scary Halloween version of the Gracie Films jingle plays.