Treehouse of Horror IV The first episode of season 5 in my fanon. Homer sells his soul for a donut. Bart tries to warn everyone about a gremlin on the side of the bus and Mr Burns is a vampire in another Halloween episode.
Plot[]
Bart is in a dark art gallery full of surrealist paintings featuring the Simpsons. In a parody of Rod Sterling's The Night Gallery.
"Tonight's episode features three ghoulishly horrifying stories each-" Bart is quickly interrupted by Marge.
"Bart! You're supposed to be warning people this episode is especially scary and that they should be listening to the old War of the Worlds broadcast on radio NPR instead." Marge scolds him.
"Yes Mother..."
"Now hold Maggie, I have to go to the shops to buy some earrings." She gives Maggie to him. Once she leaves he rolls his eyes.
"Sorry folks about that interruption." Bart arrives at a scary painting of the devil. "Our first story is about the most vicious, destructive beast to ever walk the earth. I of course refer to the-(Maggie shoves her pacifier into Bart's mouth, preventing him from talking.) Blbmmm! Mmmm! Mmmmnmmmbl! (Spits out pacifier in disgust) the devil!" There is a scare chord as Bart glares at Maggie who innocently smirks at him as the titles "The Devil and Homer Simpson" appear.
The Devil and Homer Simpson.
Homer is dreaming he's at a fashion show for giant anthromorphic donuts with lady's legs.
Homer drools.
People are taking photographs of the giant donuts on legs as if they’re super models.
Homer’s imagination is uh.... something...
He then wakes up to pick a donut from the donut box. “Now to make my dreams a reality...”
However they're all gone!
Homer screamed.
"Sorry Homer, but while you were daydreaming we ate most of them." said Lenny.
"Well there were a few left but we threw them at some old coot." Carl added. Meanwhile outside Grampa Simpson has a donut stuck to his head and is being attacked by seagulls.
"I'm not dead yet, you crazy buzzards!" Grampa yells.
...
Homer rushes back to his desk. "What am I gonna do! I know!" He pulls out a big red book. Inside a cubbyhole has been cut into the pages to store something, however there's just an IOU note. "Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead of me!" Homer angrily screws up the note. "Oh! I could sell my soul for a donut!"
There is puff of smoke as someone appears behind Homer. "Well, that can be arranged!"
"Yeesh!" Homer yelps as he turns round to find Ned Flanders as some sort of devil. Possibly the Devil himself. "Flanders?! You're the Devil?"
"It's always the one you least suspect!" Ned replies. "Now, many people sell their souls into contracts that they don't think-"
"Look do you have a donut or not?" Homer is getting impatient.
"Coming right up! Just sign here." Ned conjures up a contract. "Careful hot pen!" He also conjures up a flaming pen.
Meanwhile Mr Burns is watching on the security cameras.
"Who is that goat legged fellow? I like the cut of his gib!" Mr Burns asks.
"The prince of darkness, sir. He's your four o'clock." Smithers explains.
”Excellent.” said Mr Burns.
Flanders house.
Oscar was watching Veggie Tales with Rod and Todd.
”Wait if the devil this story is represented by your dad then there’s an evil Rod and Todd!” Oscar said horrified.
”Sure why not.” said Devil Rod.
”That’s somewhat discomforting...” said Milhouse. “The most religious family in Evergreen Terrace being demons...”
”Well it is Halloween.” said Oscar.
”Do you mind?! Noah is a butternut squash and he’s singing!” said Devil Todd.
...
Back in Homer's containment room, Ned takes the contract and in a puff of smoke and roaring flames a small Devil wearing a smock that says "Hell's Kitchen" and a white chef's hat appears carrying a dish with a metal lid. He laughs as he reveals a donut.
"Ooooh! Hell's Kitchen hey? Did Gordon Ramsay make this?" Homer asks.
"Yes but I don't discuss my work to clients..." Ned mutters as he banishes the devil chef back to Hell. "Now Homer, the second you finish that donut. I get your soul!"
Homer is already eating the donut. "Wait, if I don't finish this. You don't get my soul, right?" Homer says with a mouthful of food.
"Well, technically no... but-" Ned explains.
"Ha! I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the devil! I'm-" Homer teases Devil Ned. Suddenly he turns into a giant fearsome demon.
"YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME!!" The demon roars. Homer gulps as he pokes his nose. "I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, HOMER SIMPSON!!" Then he vanishes in a column of fire.
"Not likely..." Home grins as he puts what's left of the donut into his shirt pocket.
...
Later in the middle of the night Homer gets up and goes to the fridge for a midnight snack. He finds the last piece of donut. It's labled with warnings such as "Daddy's soul donut. Don't touch!" To prevent anyone from accidentally eating it.
"Mmmm, forbidden donut!" Homer eats the donut. Suddenly Ned appears in a puff of smoke and flames.
"Finishing something?" He asks with a grin. Homer screams as a fiery portal to Hell opens up in the kitchen floor. A force pulls Homer towards it. He desperately clings to the handle of the fridge.
Eerie disturbing sounds emit from the portal to Hell. Um it’s Hell...
Marge comes in in her Night gown and hat for her big hair. The force pulling at Homer pulls of her hat and takes it to Hell. Her hair flutters about.
"Homer, did you eat that donut that was in the fridge?" she asks him.
"No." Homer whimpers. Suddenly he loses his grip and his sucked into the portal, but he's too fat and gets stuck up to his waist.
"Oooooh!" Ned shakes his fist. "Your wide behind won't save you this time, Homer!"
Bart and Lisa come in.
"Hey kids!" Ned greets them.
"Hey Ned!" Bart replied.
"Wait! Doesn't our father have a right to a fair trial?" Lisa begs.
"Oooooh! You Americans and your due process, and your fair trials! It's so much easier in Mexico!" (Lol! And they're trying to come to America!)
Homer stuck up to his waist in the Hell Portal grunts and struggles.
"Ok, Homer, you get your trial... At the stroke of midnight! but until then you're gonna spend the day in Hell!" Ned explains as he turns his trident into a sink plunger and pushes Homer through the portal and goes in with him. The portal suddenly closes behind him.
...
Homer falls screaming through Hell and crashes into big stalactite before falling down Hell's plug hole. He falls onto a conveyer belt with demons working at it.
"That wasn't so bad..." Homer sighs. He passes a large green demon who slices him up into pieces. The pieces are put in barrels saying "Hotdog meat."
Later, in the ironic punishment room Homer is strapped to a machine that will force feed him donuts.
"So you like donuts eh?" The blue demon asks.
"Yeah." Homer replies.
"Then have all the donuts in the world! Gahahahaha!" The blue demon cackles madly as he watches Homer eat donuts.
However some later the donuts are almost gone and Homer's still eating them.
"I don't get it! James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes!"
...
Back in the Simpsons house, in the lounge. Marge and the kids are waiting for Homer's trial to begin when the clock strikes twelve.
They gasped.
A flaming cage with Homer in it appears. His head pops off.
Bart laughed.
"Homer! Are you alright?" Marge asks.
Homer puts his head back on. "No." He groans. Suddenly a flaming pentagram appears and then Ned followed by the Grim Reaper/Death who will be the judge of the court.
"Hear ye! Hear ye! The infernal court is now in session!" Death taps his gavel.
Lionel Hutz arrives from the hall way.
"Did someone say court?" Lionel asks. "Lionel Hutz, Attorney of law. Don't worry Mrs Simpson I've handled cases like this before. I was watching Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I got the gist of it."
"Mr Hutz..." Death is getting impatient. Well he’s Death...
"Ok some ground rules. We get bathroom breaks when required." Lionel Hutz speaks to Devil Ned.
"Very well. And I get to pick the jury!" Ned replies.
"Okay. No wait!"
"Silence! I give you the jury of the damned! Lizzy Bordom! John Wilkes Booth! Blackbeard the Pirate! Former president Richard Nixon!"
"But I'm not dead yet! In fact I'm supposed to be doing an interview with Jay Leno!" Richard Nixon protests.
"Hey you sold your soul to me to become president! You belong to me now!" Ned yells at him.
"Yes master..." Richard Nixon replies.
"Benedict Arnold! John Dillinger! And the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!" Ned finishes summoning the jury of the damned. The Simpsons gasp in response. Murderers, a pirate, an evil former President, a traitor and an evil Ice hockey team appeared.
The Simpsons gasped.
”Uh why is Benedict Arnold in Hell?” Oscar asked.
The Simpsons glared at him.
”What? He’s a hero to the British...” said Oscar.
Marge then gets chairs for everyone. However there's not enough as Lizzie Bordom is trying balance herself on her knees on a shoe keeper. (Where shoes are kept) and Blackbeard is offered Maggie's high chair.
”I’m sorry Mr Blackbeard. We’re out of chairs. And this is the last one.” Marge explained politely to Blackbeard of all people! XD!
"Arrr! This chair is high! Says I!" Blackbeard takes his chair. Eventually the case begins. Unfortunately Lionel Hutz inadvertently helps Ned by reminding everyone Homer signed a written contract.
”A written contract! A written contract!”
All the evil people stare at him.
"Um, I just need the bathroom..." Lionel Hutz runs off to use the upstairs bathroom.
Some time later when he doesn't return, Marge checks on him. "Mr Hutz? Oooooh..." However he seems to have escaped through the window.
"In light of the evidence presented, I have no choice but to sentence Homer to an eternity!" Death is about to sentence Homer when Marge comes in with some evidence she hopes might save him.
"Wait! Before you send my husband to hell read this!" Marge hands over her wedding photo.
"This be some wedding? And this fair maiden be you, but who be this land whale?!" Blackbeard asks. The jury start laughing.
"My husband... but read the back! The back!" Marge replies.
"Arrrr! This be a treasure map!" Blackbeard replies.
Benedict Arnold snatches the letter from him. "You idiot! It's a letter, can't you read?!"
"No..." Blackbeard sighs.
"It says. Marge, I am in eternal gratitude to you for accepting my request for your hand in marriage. In return I offer you my soul in return so that we may be together forever, in life and death."
"Your honour, we find Homer's soul the property of Marge Simpson and not the devil." Lizzie Bordom announces the verdict."
"Aaaaaw!" Ned groans. Defeated.
"Woohoo! Ooooowww!" Homer cheers but burns his hairs on the firery cage.
"Very well. Case dismissed." Death banishes himself and the jury of the damned back to Hell. Homer's cage is snuffed out. Allowing Marge to hug him.
"Very well, Homer. You get to keep your soul... But let that donut be forever your head!!" Ned zaps Homer and he screams in agony.
...
The next morning everyone is eating breakfast. Homer has a giant donut head and is picking and eating at it.
"Homer! Stop picking at it!" Marge yells.
"But I'm so sweet and tasty!" Homer checks his watch. "Oh well, time to go to work..."
However Lisa stops him. "I wouldn't go out there, Dad. They're waiting for you."
Outside the Simpsons house Chief Wiggum and every police officer in Springfield is waiting with mugs of hot coffee. "He has to come out sometime fellas..." Chief Wiggum says confidently.
The end.
Plot 2[]
Back in the Night Gallery, Bart is carrying Maggie while showing more paintings.
At the The Son of Man painting by Henri Matisse featuring Bart as the man with an apple in front of his face, Oscar using his magic powers over art takes the apple and eats it.
Bart sighs exasperated.
"Our next story will terrify even the bravest soul... I give you the- School bus?! (There's a painting of a school bus) Oooooh, they must mean the ghoul bus..." Bart is confused by the not very scary painting.
"No it says School bus, right here." Lisa mentions.
"Well there's nothing more scarier than going to school." Bart laughs nervously. He sighs miserably.
The title cards appear.
Terror at 5&1/2 Feet
Bart is on the school bus when Milhouse sits next to him.
"Look! I've got limited edition Krusty trading cards!" Milhouse has trading cards.
"Cool!" Bart replies.
“The long awaited eighth series.” said Milhouse getting out his trading cards.
”Krusty visits relatives in Annapolis, Maryland.” said Bart.
”Those people are not his relatives...” said Oscar.
”And how would you know Oz...” said Bart.
”Because they don’t look stereotypically Jewish...” said Oscar.
”They could be relatives on his Mom’s side of the family...” said Bart.
"And a stick of gum!" Milhouse says as he bites the gum.
However it's hard and fragile so it shatters. "Ow! I cut my tooth!"
Suddenly Otto loses control of the bus and it starts spinning about. Everyone screams in terror.
The bus then collides with a truck. However Bart wakes up with a yelp. It was just a horrible nightmare. His sheets are wet.
"I hope this is sweat..."
...
Bart goes down to breakfast acting like a zombie.
"I just had a vision of my fiery death..."
"And?" Lisa asks.
"Lisa don't bother your brother, he's just had a nightmare that's all." Marge comforts Bart. "It's ok sweetie it was just a dream."
Oscar walks in, in his pyjamas. "Mrs Simpson... Bart wet the bed..." he groans while holding his nose. Bart blushes with embarrassment.
"Don't tell everyone!" Bart whimpers in embarrassment.
"Ugh! Bart... you better not do that at school or you'll have to wear a diaper." Marge sighs.
”Mom I am not wearing diapers like Oscar does...” said Bart.
Bart has his breakfast when Homer blasts a foghorn in his ear. "Ahhhhh!"
"Homer!" Marge yells.
"Look at this cool stuff I found! It was just sitting in some guy's boat!" Homer then blasts Bart with the foghorn again.
Bart screams.
”Homer that stuff doesn’t belong to you! You have to give it back!” Marge nagged.
”No way!” said Homer. “I’m having fun!” He blasts the foghorn klaxon in Bart’s ear again.
Bart screams.
Marge sighs.
Homer honks the klaxon in Oscar’s ear.
”Aaaaaaagh!” Oscar yelled.
”Wow this thing is loud!” said Homer.
”Do that again and I’ll shove that handheld klaxon where the sun definitely doesn’t shine!” Oscar snapped.
...
Bart and Lisa get on the school bus to find Principal Skinner on supervisor duty.
Bart gasped.
"Yes Bart, You'll be wondering why I'm riding to school with you today. Mother took my car keys for speaking to another woman. She was right to do it..."
Bart rolled his eyes.
Lisa guides Bart down the bus. "Bart's feeling a little fragile today, can everyone be extra nice to him?"
Everyone burst out laughing.
Jimbo pulls down Bart's shorts exposing his underwear. "Where's your diaper, baby?"
"Thank goodness Bart's antics have distracted everyone from my unfortunately crude t shirt." Martin remarks. His shirt reads "Wang Computers".
”I’m gonna take a seat, Peter pants down....” said Oscar mortified as he sits next to Ace. A blond vampire kid.
”Ugh! Either it’s sunny and I can’t go outside without being incinerated or it rains and rain is like acid to a vampire...” Ace sighed.
Oscar was too busy playing his Gameboy.
Ace frowned at him.
Lisa strangely was no longer in this story or something. She was probably sat reading a book or something.
”Bart stop horsing around and sit down!” Skinner yelled.
...
Bart groans and sits down next to Milhouse. However during the trip he hears a rattling and sees a gremlin crawling about on the side of the bus. It scratches the side of the bus.
The gremlin smiles at him menacingly as he scratches deep gouges into the metal frame of the bus.
Bart does his Curly impression. "Milhouse look out the window!"
"Nun uh! If I do that I subject myself to wedgies, wet willies or the dreaded rear admiral!" Milhouse replies.
”What’s a rear admiral?” Oscar asked.
Bart is still watching the gremlin and pondering whether he should tell everyone.
The gremlin is now pulling out wires.
Bart gulped.
Oscar is playing on his Gameboy. He is playing Tetris.
Ace grimaced.
Bart is worried about the Gremlin he saw. He told himself he wasn’t imagining things. He looks out the window to see what the gremlin is doing.
He gives Bart the throat cut hand gesture.
“Everyone! There's a monster on the side of the boss!" Bart yells loudly. Everyone screams.
Everyone takes a look only to find nothing there.
"There's nothing there, doofus!" Jimbo tells Bart off.
"You're deceptive..." Ralph mixes up his words.
"I see what's going on. All that nature has sparked your imagination. I'll just shut this blind." Skinner explains as he shuts Bart's blind so he can't see out the window.
"But-!"
"No more stories of monsters! Sit down and be quiet!" Skinner yells as he returns to his seat.
...
Meanwhile the bus is being observed by Kang and Kodos in their spaceship. "Foolish earth child! Frightened of monsters that don't exist!" Kang gloats. The aliens start laughing.
However they then spot a gremlin on the side of their ship tearing out wires and stuff.
Kodos gulps.
”How can he breath in space?!” Kang yelled. It’s a Halloween episode! Stop applying logic!
...
Bart is thinking about the gremlin.
He opens the blind hoping it's gone but finds himself staring at Groundskeeper Willie. He screams loudly. Ok I suppose the Groundskeeper does look scary, especially in a storm.
Otto lets him on.
"The mule wouldn't walk in the mud! So I had to put fifteen bullets in him!" Willie explains as he sits down.
Poor Mule...
Bart becomes unhinged. "You believe me, dear sweet Milhouse..."
"Uh, I'm gonna sit over there, with that foreign exchange student." Milhouse is unnerved by Bart's behaviour and moves seats to sit next to Uter.
"Oh! Guten tag! Would you like a bite of my sugar pop? I also have a bag of marzipan joy joys!" The joy joys have iodine in them.
Milhouse grimaced.
Elsewhere Homer drove to the Springfield marina to give back the stuff he stole from some guy’s boat.
Homer muttered while driving because he wanted to keep the things like the klaxon horn.
The stuff belonged to Captain McAllister.
”Arrrrr! Well I’m stumped Handsome Pete! Some bilge rat has filched my klaxon and tackle box!” Captain McAllister said to Handsome Pete. A midget clown playing a concertina.
Handsome Pete plays The Sailor’s Hornpipe on his concertina and dances.
...
Bart starts bothering Otto. "You saw the gremlin, didn't you Otto?"
"Oh yeah, I see him now. Let me ram him off the road." He sees Hans Moleman driving. The joke is that Hans Moleman is driving an AMC Gremlin.
He rams Moleman off the road.
"Oh dear..." Moleman groans as he crashes into a tree. His car then explodes.
"Bart! Sit down and stop bothering Otto!" Skinner yells.
Bart goes back to his seat.
”I wanna ride on the Magic School bus...” Oscar whined.
Everyone laughed at him.
”Oscar, the children are laughing at you, not with you.” said Skinner.
Oscar made a face at Skinner.
”Oz grow up....” Ace sighed.
Oscar sighed.
...
Bart sees the gremlin now unscrewing bolts from the wheels.
"Everybody! We're all gonna die!! (Choking sounds)" Skinner suddenly tries to subdue Bart by strangling him. However he's shot in the back by someone.
After he falls over dead, everyone sees the assailant was Oscar holding a still smoking shotgun.
"Oscar! You killed him!" Bart yells.
"So? He was trying to kill you! I don't like Homer throttling you, you think I'm gonna let someone else do?" Oscar retorts. "Besides, it's a Halloween episode, he'll be fine the next episode..." Everyone is nervous around Oscar, including the Groundskeeper who had a gun at some point earlier.
"Ok, you screwheads, listen up. Bart's not lying. There's something sabotaging the bus and I'm going outside to get rid of it. Bart, Lewis. Hold onto me while I go out the window." Oscar attaches suction cups to himself and has a knife in his mouth and lit flares.
Dolph took some flares from him and put them down Martin’s shorts while he was reading.
They open the window but there is suction and Oscar and Bart are nearly sucked out. Oscar sticks himself to the side of the bus and crawls towards the gremlin. The gremlin hisses at him.
"Prepare to fry!" Oscar waves a lit flare at him, setting the gremlin on alight.
The gremlin falls off the bus and rolls across the road.
Oscar crawls back in. "He's gone. Fried the little booger." Bart sighs as he can relax.
...
Meanwhile Ned stops his car to find the stricken gremlin lying there. He wraps it up in his coat. The gremlin tries to claw him.
"Aaaaawww! He's trying to claw my eyes out..." Ned hugs the gremlin. Um Ned...
...
The school bus soon arrives at school. Everyone gets off and Willie surveys the damage. The gremlin was one bolt away from causing a crash.
"See! I was right I tell ya! I was right!" Bart explained.
"Aaaaw... and to think we thought he'd gone loopy..."
...
In class Bart relaxes until the gremlin appears at the window tapping. He gurgles while holding Ned's severed head.
"Hi diddly Homer!" Ned says in a demented tone. Bart screams in horror.
The end.
Plot 3[]
Back in the Night Gallery, Bart is preparing for the last and final story. He passes by a painting of dogs playing poker.
"Our latest story focuses on a painting so inconceivable that to gaze upon it is to go mad!" Bart explains. Homer then looks at the painting of the dogs playing poker.
Homer screams. "They're dogs! And they're playing poker!! Ahahahahaha!" Homer goes insane and runs off laughing madly.
Bart grimaced exasperated by Homer’s instant descent into madness.
"We had a story for this, but we felt it was too intense... So we cooked up some tale about vampires! Enjoy!" Bart slips from his intense voice to a chirpy tone.
Bart Simpson's Dracula
The Simpsons are watching TV one night. The news comes on about someone having been attacked and drainedof blood.
Wiggum is being interviewed. Despite the obvious evidence and a guilty Mr Burns with blood on his lips, Wiggum insists the attacker was an Egyptian mummy.
"No! No! Don't they see? The monster is the living dead! Nosferatu! Dracula!" Lisa explains. Everyone stares blankly. "A vampire."
"Don't be silly, Lisa. Vampires are make believe. Just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos!"
The Gremlin winced.
"Uh Homer, Eskimos are real." Oscar explains.
"Aaaaaaaaagh! Eskimos!" Homer screams.
On the news Mr Burns was being interviewed about a generous donation to the Springfield General Hospital blood bank. He suspiciously had blood leaking out of his mouth. He licked it up. “Precious blood.”
Lisa frowned suspicious.
...
The following evening they've been invited to have supper with Mr Burns at his castle. "In Pennsylvania!" Homer explains dramatically.
"If that's supposed to scare me, it didn't work Dad. Vampires come from Transylvania, in Romania." Lisa sighs. "This still seems rather fishy, why would Mr Burns of all people invite us out for dinner?"
"Lisa stop being suspicious. Did everyone wash their necks like Mr Burns asked?" Marge tells Lisa to be quiet.
"I did!" Homer shows a filthy towel. They then arrive at a haunted castle on a mountain with a narrow road to it. Mr Burns appears in the sky.
"Ooooh! Cool hologram effect!" Oscar remarks.
They arrive at the front door and ring the doorbell.
"Ah! Our guests are here! Smithers do let them in. Ah... fresh victims for my ever growing army of the undead-"
"Sir, you have to take your finger off the button," Smithers warns him.
"Oh you son of a bi-!" Mr Burns cuts out as the front door opens on its own. The Simpsons go inside.
...
Mr Burns welcomes them. He's clearly dressed as Dracula in his red gown and Georgian era wig version.
"Come in my guests..." Burns beckons them in.
"Dad notice anything weird?" Lisa asks. Mr Burns's shadow has a life of its own and is playing with a yoyo.
"Yeah, his hairdo is so queer..." homer whispers.
"I heard that!" Mr Burns snapped.
"It was the boy!" Homer blames Bart.
They have dinner.
"Ugh! This isn't wine! It's blood!" Lisa sniffs her drink.
"Correction, free blood!" Homer drinks his glass of blood, yuck!
Lisa deliberately spills her drink of blood over herself. "Whoops! Me and Bart have to wash!"
"But you didn't get any on me-" Lisa rubs blood all over Bart and drags him away from the table.
...
Bart and Lisa are wandering the halls of Burns's castle.
"Lisa, there's no such things as vampires. Even if Mr Burns was a vampire there would be a sign somewhere." Bart leans on a stone arm holding a torch. It's a hidden switch and opens a secret passageway to the laundry room.
"Bart look!" Lisa points out a more obvious entrance to the basement. "Vampire basement. No garlic allowed." Is written in neon letters. They go downstairs. Bart notices the super fun happy slide switch.
"Super fun happy slide!" He cheers.
"Ssssh! Not now Bart!" Lisa pulls him away from the switch.
"Aaaaw, shucks..."
They go into the basement. There are coffins everywhere.
"Looks like the basement at Grampa's old folks home." Bart remarks.
"Bart! Look!" Lisa finds a book on a pedestal. It is a red book that's titled "Yes, I am a vampire, by C Montgomery Burns." "Oh my gosh!" Lisa gasps as she reads it. Suddenly the vampires wake up.
Bart does Shemp noises.
"Bart I've seen your stupid Shemp." Lisa ignores him as the vampires get closer.
"Gnaaa! Gnaaaa! Gnaaaa!" Bart does a Curly sound.
"I've seen your Curly too..." a vampire scratches the page to pieces and growls at her.
"Aaaaaaaagh!" They scream and run off. However Bart is distracted by the super fun happy time switch.
"I probably shouldn't, but when am I ever gonna be here again?" Bart pulls the switch. The stairs fold up into a slide and he slides down them. "Wheeeeeeeeee!" However he slides into the vampires and is caught by them. Mr Burns arrives and as head vampire he gets to feed on Bart.
"Why if it isn't little... um, boy. Uh, yeah." Mr Burns can't be bothered to remember names.
...
Lisa runs into the dining room.
"Mom! Dad! Mr Burns is a vampire! And he has Bart!" Lisa cries.
"Why Bart's right here..." Mr Burns explains. It's obvious he's been drinking Bart's blood as his fangs are bloody and Bart is pale and has two bite marks on his neck.
"Hello, mother, hello father... I'm fine..." Bart talks like a zombie.
"See he's fine! Enough of your stories! Mr Burns is a vampire, Beer kills brain cells... now let's go home to the house, where our beds and things are..." Homer doesn't believe her still.
"Leaving so soon, Simpson? Very well, but I want to see you in work tomorrow bright and early!" Mr Burns replies as they leave.
...
That night Lisa can't sleep. There's something tapping at her bedroom window.
She opens her curtains to find Bart as a vampire flying. Some of his friends are with him. Having also been bitten and turned into vampires.
"Lisa join us. Being a vampire is so cool! You can stay up night drinking blood!"
"And if you say you're a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies!" Milhouse adds.
"No! No! Nooooo!" Lisa yells.
"It's not like you have a choice here..." Bart smashes through her window. He pins her to the bed and his fangs elongate for feeding.
"Aaaaaaaghhh!" Lisa screams. Suddenly Homer comes in.
"Bart! What have I told you about not biting your sister?!" Homer scolds him. "Wait! You're a vampire!?" He pulls Lisa away from Bart and pokes him on the nose, which is really cute!
"Omg! He looks so adorable when you're poking his little shnozz! Let me poke him!" Oscar squees. He begins poking Bart's nose.
"Oscar, stop poking my nose or I swear I'll bite you..." Bart growls.
"We must kill the boy!" Grampa comes in with a hammer and stake.
"Grampa you know he's a vampire?!" Lisa asks.
"He's a vampire?! Aaaaaagh!" Grampa drops the hammer and stake and runs off screaming.
Bart laughs evilly and turns into a bat and flies away. Maggie waves at him. Aaawwww! Cute!
"Homer, we have to do something!" Marge explains. "Tonight he's drinking blood! Tomorrow he could be smoking!"
"We have to kill the head vampire! Mr Burns!" Lisa explains carrying the hammer and stake.
"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?" Homer gasps.
"We're best waiting till the morning. Vampires are asleep then." Oscar adds. Everyone goes back to bed.
...
In the morning they have breakfast. Vampire Bart floats about the kitchen wearing sunglasses. “Good morning everyone. Can you shut the curtains? The sunlight is deadly to me.”
“See? Bart has turned into an evil monster!” said Lisa.
“He’s just going through changes.” said Homer.
Later that morning they go to Mr Burns is castle and somehow get in. They arrive at the basement where Homer is tempted by the super fun happy slide!
"Super fun happy slide!" Homer cheers.
"No Dad..." Lisa reminds him.
"Awww, I suppose killing him would be fun..." Homer groans.
They find Mr Burns's coffin. He's sleeping in it.
"We must drive this stake right through his heart." Lisa explains.
"Allow me to do the honours." Homer takes them. "Die undead fiend! Die! Die! Die!" Homer hammers the stake into Burns.
"Uh Dad... that's his crotch..." Lisa grimaces.
"Oh how silly of me..." Homer pulls out the stake and rives it through Mr Burns's heart.
The vampire immediately wakes up screaming in pain before dissolving into a mummified corpse thing with an omelette for a face.
”Mmmmmmm.... vampire omelette...” said Oscar.
”Eeeeeeew! Oz...” The Simpsons groaned.
"Phew!" Homer wiped his brow.
Mr Burns briefly revives. "You're fired!" Before dying again.
"D'oh!" Homer groans.
...
The next day, everyone's having breakfast.
"Well Mr Burns is gone and we can all go back to normal." Lisa comments.
Suddenly Grampa flies in as a vampire. "I'm a vampire and I've come to suck your blood!" He slams into the fridge knocking out his dentures. "This cape is giving me a rash..."
"Grampa's a vampire?!" Lisa gasps.
"We're all vampires." Bart replies. Everyone has fangs. They start floating.
"No! We killed Mr Burns!" Lisa gasps.
"You have to kill the head vampire!" Homer explains.
"You're the head vampire?" Lisa asks.
"No. I'm the head vampire!" Marge explains before laughing her best evil laugh, which is pretty scary!
"Mom?!" Lisa gasps.
"Well I do have a life outside this house you know." Marge comments. The vampire Simpsons hiss at Lisa before they all stop to say happy Halloween everybody to the fourth wall. Then they sing Christmas songs in dog language while Milhouse plays a small piano and Santa's little helper dances like Snoopy...
The end.
Deleted scenes![]
- In Hell. There’s a door that says Hell’s Kitchen.
”You stupid fucking donkey! Look at this donut! It’s as black as Satan’s fucking heart! What are you?!” Gordon Ramsay yelled.
”An idiot sandwich sir.” said a demon.
”Now fuck off!” Gordon Ramsay swore.
- At the Simpsons one afternoon after Ned sent Homer to Hell for the day. Marge is calling a lawyer for his trial.
”I’d sell my soul for a formula one racing car...” said Bart to himself. In a burst of Hell Fire Devil Ned appeared.
”Well that can be arranged.” said Devil Ned.
”Nah, changed my mind.” said Bart. Ned left annoyed. “Coooooool!”
”Bart! Stop pestering Satan!” Marge told Bart off.
- In Hell. Demons go bowling. One uses Homer’s head as a bowling ball. “Ow! Ow! Ow! Oooooow!” He cries as he rolls down the lane. He shatters into piece when he collides with the pins. Inside his skull is an IOU note from God. It reads “IOU one brain. Signed God.”
- At the Trial the Simpsons win. Homer cheers and screams because he burnt himself on the fire cage of flames.
”I’m sorry, here’s your pizza...” said Lionel Hutz.
”But we won!” The Simpsons cheer.
”Oh good! Because the box is empty!” said Lionel Hutz showing the pizza box was empty.
- In Terror at 5 and a half feet The Gremlin is relaxing on an aeroplane when he hears knocking at the window and sees Bart on the wing tearing out wires from the plane. The gremlin screams.
- In the Night Gallery we see scene transitions that didn’t make it. Bart is describing the scene for Terror at 5 and a half feet when he smells a horrible smell. “Eeeeeew! Maggie!” He groaned. In another scene transition that may have been for Bart Simpson’s Dracula he is scene frustrated as he changes Maggie’s diaper.
- At Mr Burns’s castle. Homer rings the doorbell. “Ah fresh victims for the ever growing army of the undead.” said a voice over intercom.
”Caleb get the hell outta there!” Oscar yelled. Caleb from Blood left the castle via the front door.
- After Bart tried to bite Lisa. The Simpsons are having breakfast one morning, Bart comes floating into the kitchen because he is a vampire. “Good morning family... is my hair straight? I’d look in the mirror but it seems to be broken as I can’t see my reflection...”
”Bart, vampires don’t have reflections...” said Oscar.
The dog and cat growl and hiss at Bart as he sat down.
”See? Animals always know when something is up. Like a family member becoming a vampire.” said Lisa.
Maggie hisses.
”Yeah what about Maggie then?” Oscar asked.
”I don’t know!” said Lisa.
”Here’s your special requested breakfast dear. Mice and a glass of blood.” said Marge giving Bart mice for breakfast.
”Oooooooh! He gets mice?” Homer whined.
