Simpsons Fanon
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Thirty Minutes over Tokyo After being cyber robbed by Snake, the Simpsons have to budget for their next holiday. Luckily they get one to Japan.

Plot[]

Homer finds a tech magazine in the mail called Wired. He thinks it’s called Weird.

“Hey, why didn't you tell me the new issue of Weird was here? (Chuckles) I love their hilarious send-ups of hit movies.” said Homer reading the magazine.

“Dad, it's not-“ said Lisa but he cut her off chuckling as he read the magazine.

”"Gigabytes." (Laughing) They've done it again. "Gigabytes."” Homer laughed then he realised. “Wait-This isn't Weird. Why, there's no magazine called Weird, is there?”

”This is Wired. It's about computers and technology.” said Lisa. “And no I don’t subscribe to this.”

“But you’re the genius!” said Homer.

”Awwwwww! Thanks Dad!” Lisa hugged him. “But really I don’t subscribe to this tech magazine.”

”Then who did?” Homer asked.

”I dunno.” said Lisa.

”I subscribe to Wired...” said Hugo taking the magazine. “Oh look at those motherboards... 50 gigabytes! Oo la la...” He read the magazine.

Homer winced. I didn’t know the freak liked technology. Hey I can read your thoughts asshole! Do not call him that!

Lisa finds out about a new Internet cafe in town called Java server. She wants to go.

“Hey, look. There's a cybercafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad? Please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the lnternet.”

However, Homer won't take her as he's not interested.

“The lnternet? Is that thing still around?“ Homer sighed bored.

However when Bart mentions there's a site with videos of monkeys doing it, he is eager to go.

”Dad I’ll show you a website that has videos of monkeys doing it!” said Bart.

”Bart! That is not what-“ Lisa groaned.

“Omg! Monkey sex!” Oscar is eager to go too.

”Oz no!” Hugo whined.

A car horn honks.

”Come on kids! Monkeys!” said Homer.

At the Internet cafe

Willie is on a website that lets you look up people’s kilts. I’m sure that’s illegal...

“Well this lass’s ass could use some groundskeeping, eeeeew! Oh my god! That’s Willie’s behind!” Willie screamed.

Bart was on a dating website pretending to be a 47 year old fat lady called Mary. “My name is Mary, I’m 47 years old and morbidly obese. I am willing to settle for anyone.” He chuckled.

“Wow! This Mary is easy! She’s the perfect dame for Moe!” said Moe on a dating site.

Bart snickered trying not to laugh.

Lisa was on a save the rainforest website.

Oscar was looking up hardcore porn... and monkeys having sex.

(Monkeys screeching and hollering.)

”Ay carumba!” Oscar yelled.

Hugo was covering his own eyes in disgust. That’s rather odd for the boy that likes to see dogs doing it....

Homer checks out his finances only for Snake to steal his money at gun point with a USB stick.

“Wow, Dad. You're surfin' like a pro.“ said Lisa.

“Oh, yeah. I'm betting on jai alai in the Cayman lslands. I ordered a pepperoni pizza, onion rings, wings and a tub of ice cream.” said Homer.

“Who ordered the pizza, rings, wings and ice cream and a small soda...?” A delivery boy asked.

”Here! Thank you!” Homer paid the delivery boy and took his pizza and food.

“I invested in something called News Corp- “

”Dad! That's Fox!” Lisa yelled.

(Screams) “Undo! Undo!” Homer screamed. (Groans)

“Dad, do we have any money left?” Lisa asked.

“Well, let's check the old bank account. (Beeps) See? Even after my cyber squandering... we've still got $1 ,200.” said Homer.

Snake comes in. “All right, dorks, this is a holdup.” (Gasping, Murmuring) He comes to Homer’s computer. “Oh, yes! Download to papa. He puts in a USB and robs Homer somehow via technology. (Beeping) “Yoink dot adios, back-slash losers.” said Snake as he left with the USB.

(Groans) Homer groaned.

Bart hid under the tables the computers were on.

”Oz! I thought Snake was dead!” Bart whispered frightened. Snake tried to kill him last Treehouse of Horror.

”He must have been cloned or something...” said Oscar.

At home Marge is horrified.

”We were cyber robbed?!”

”Marge you seem to know a lot about this for an innocent person...” said Homer.

”That was our vacation money! I was saving it up! Ooooooh! Now we’ll have to start over!” Marge sighed.

The kids groaned.

"Looks like we won't be able to go on holiday this year..." said Marge.

That night, Homer breaks into the Flanders to steal from them. However Ned catches him.

“Well hi diddly Ho Homerino!” said Ned. “What brings you here to my humble abode late at night?”

”Can’t talk, robbing you.” said Homer.

”I can see that Homer. Look, you can’t keep robbing me every time you have financial problems... Look take this card.” said Ned.

However instead of reporting him, Ned offers him advice to save up money to go on a cheap holiday.

“Okay. But I’m still taking this candle stick holder.” said Homer.

Ned sighed.

...

The Simpsons attend a seminar on saving money. The man advises everyone on how to squeeze every penny. His suit was cheap because someone died in it, his boat was cheap because it stank of cat urine and the babes on it were transsexuals.

The man repeated his squeeze every penny mantra again, however Homer squeezed too hard and the penny got absorbed into him.

"Hmmmmmm! Not again..." Marge sighed as the penny traveled through his blood stream.

After the meeting, the Simpsons went shopping.

"The 99 cents store?" Lisa asked.

"Maybe when you're getting married..." Marge replied.

"The 66 cents store?" Bart asked.

"Nope." Marge replied. They stopped outside the 33 cents store. It looked really shabby and run down. Garbage was being poured into it.

Inside, the shop was selling brand names no one had ever heard of. Probably for good reason.

Bart found a gondola with Marge's green dresses on. "Look Mom! They sell your dress!"

"Hmmmmm! 33 cents? I paid twice as much for this!" She picked out several. However she found a blue one. "Ugh! Blue?!"

When she picked up the blue one Oscar laughed. "Look! It's Marge's dress from Homer's photographic memory!"

Marge sighed.

Meanwhile Homer was buying cheap food to tighten their belts and save money.

“Oh look! Plankton! Mmmmmm! Sheldon J Plankton...” said Homer. He found a tin of Plankton.

“Dad this is from Mexico and it expired weeks ago...” said Lisa.

“Yeah but we live in the United States sweetie, and expiry dates mean nothing...” said Homer. He opened a can of Plankton and ate some. He started to turn purple and appeared to be queasy or sick.

“Oh my goodness!” Sheldon J Plankton cried horrified by Homer eating his kind.

“It also says this can cause red Thai poisoning...” said Lisa reading the can of Plankton.

“But it’s so cheap!” Homer with a purple face groaned trying to swallow another mouthful of expired plankton.

“You monster!” Sheldon J Plankton cried.

...

The Simpsons save enough money to book a last minute holiday to anywhere as part of Ned's list of helpful hints to save money.

They go to the airport dressed up in various costumes of where they want to go.

“Aloha!” Marge is dressed to go to Hawaii with a flower garland and a grass skirt.

“Bonjour!” Lisa is wearing a beret. She wants to go to France.

Homer is dressed as a Rastafarian man as he wants to go to Jamaica.

”No no no mon. Pass the Dutchie. I am so high we be jammin’.”

”Dad don’t! You’re offending people!” Bart whined.

”I am not...” said Homer.

Bart's dressed as a vampire as he wants to go to Transylvania.

”Mwuhahahaha!” He laughed maniacally while wearing vampire fangs and a cape.

However the gate for their tickets is for Japan.

"Woohoo!" Oscar cheers. He’s dressed as a samurai.

They get on the plane and fly to Japan. However the Flanders are also getting on.

"Nooooooooo!" Homer tries to get off but his family fight with him.

"No way, homeboy! You're not ruining our holiday! Sit down!" Bart grunts as they hold him down.

On the plane. Bart is playing his Gameboy.

“Bart kun it is not safe to have electronic devices on while the plane is taking off.” said a Japanese air hostess.

“You’re the boss.” said Bart turning off his Gameboy.

The plane nose dives and people inside scream.

“Turn it back on! Turn it back on!” The hostess screamed.

Then Jim Belushi was in a toga.

”Toga! Toga! Toga!” said Jim Belushi.

“Um Animal House?” Oscar shrugged his shoulders.

Eventually they arrive in Japan.

In the Japanese airport. Possibly Tokyo given the name of the episode.

”Hey look Martin Clunes!” Oscar was Martin Clunes.

”Looks like some Japanese school girls want his autograph.” Lisa pondered as there were some Japanese school girls.

”Martin Clunes! Marin Clunes! Ring ting ting! Martin Clunes!” One of the girls sang.

”(Racist mocking Asian sounding manly grunts and jabbering to try to sound Japanese while mocking it.)” the other girl made racist sounds making fun of how Japanese people sound.

Oscar laughed.

”Oz that is not funny!” Bart told him off.

"Well here's our hotel Homer! Let's go diddly iddly in!" Ned explains.

"Shut up Flanders..." Homer groans.

They go to their rooms.

...

In the Simpsons' room. Homer finds the toilet is extremely modern as it talks, cleans your butt for you and has little colourful fountains.

However Bart discovers the TV has a live feed to the toilet's bowl, and unfortunately Homer is using the toilet.

Everyone screams in disgust.

Homer then keeps tearing through the paper walls and doors instead of opening them.

"Dad! You're supposed to open the doors!" Lisa whines.

"Why! When I can just walk through them!" Homer replies.

...

Lisa suggests they try out some of the culture but Bart and Homer don't want to.

Oscar and Lisa whine at them to not be boring.

"I'll take Maggie, Lisa and Oscar around town... You can stay with the twins then..." Marge sighs. She leaves Homer alone with Bart and Hugo.

Plot 2[]

While out, Oscar finds a manga store. "Oh my gosh! Look! A manga store!" Oscar gets very excited by the manga.

"How about it Lisa? Shall we go in?" Marge asks.

"Sure why not?" Lisa figures it is a form of Japanese culture after all.

...

Eventually Marge returns with Maggie, Lisa and Oscar and lots of merchandise, including mangas...

The family debate of where to eat. However Homer doesn't want to try anything new.

"Dad! We didn't fly all the way to Japan to go to American Town..." Lisa groans.

"I'm not trying anything exotic again! In case you don't remember, I nearly died from pufferfish poisoning!" Homer ranted.

"Dad, that was a badly run restaurant and Akira warned you the dish was dangerous!" Lisa retorted.

"No! That's my final answer!" Homer insists.

"Homer!" Marge nags. "Look we'll go to America town tonight, but tomorrow you're going to try some of the culture! You can't stay in the hotel all the time we're here! Or eat hamburgers all the time!"

"D'oh!" Homer groans.

Meanwhile Bart's watching the TV.

"What's this?" Lisa asks.

"Looks like a Japanese cartoon. Hey, isn't this the one that caused all those seizures?" Bart explained before wondering if this was the cartoon that caused seizures. Suddenly the cartoon has a robot with flashing eyes. Bart's pupils grow big and he collapses and starts having an epileptic fit.

"Bart? What are you doing?" Marge asks but the cartoon soon causes her to have a fit. Then Lisa, then Maggie, the Oscar and then Hugo. Homer comes in and wonders why everyone is on the floor convulsing.

"Oh well..." Homer lies on the floor writhing about making weird noises to copy everyone in their seizures.

Eventually the cartoon cuts to a commercial and everyone recovers.

"That was weird. Let's all go down to dinner." Marge groaned.

"I agree, all that writhing on the ground made me hungry."

"Now back to battling seizure robots!" says the TV. The entire family start convulsing again with seizures.

...

The Simpsons go to America Town. Homer laments the state their sat at is where all the hicks live.

"Oooooh! I wonder what their take on the club sandwich is? I bet it's small and efficient!" Marge asks.

The waiter then arrives. He speaks in a mocking way of being a boorish, poorly educated American.

"Don't you have anything Japanese?" Lisa asks.

"Don't ask me, I'm just an American!" The waiter replied.

They get their food.

Homer is enjoying his American food he can have all the time back home...

Oscar is reading a slutty, hard core Hentai manga with tentacles... “Oh Tsu-Kiki... don’t ever change...” he moaned aroused.

”Oz! Don’t read that! Mom! This Japanese comic Oz is reading is R rated because it’s extremely pornographic!” Bart whined.

”One it’s a manga, not a comic you Baka! And secondly it’s my R rated Manga...” said Oscar reading the hentai manga.

...

The next day Marge, Lisa and Oscar drag Homer and Bart around Japan. Homer is walking Hugo like a dog because in his feral manner he runs about on all fours with no shoes on and sniffs people.

"Ok boy, that's enough sniffing..." Homer groans as he pulls on Hugo's leash.

They all have lunch at a sushi bar with conveyor belts.

However Homer soon causes mayhem. He tried the wasabi...

”Ooooooooh! Pistachio pudding!” he tries some wasabi. “Aaaaaaaaaaagh! It burns! It burns! What the hell?!”

”That’s wasabi paste....” Oscar sighed.

"Hrrrm! Homer! Stop making a scene and take the boys elsewhere if you're bored!"

"I'll be good..." Homer groans.

Hugo tries some sushi and loves it. “Mmmmmm! Where have you been all my life?!” He stuffs himself with sushi.

Bart keeps ordering things that are disgusting to gross out Lisa. He orders squid sashimi. The brainless squid starts attacking him.

"Aaaaaagh! Help!" Bart cries as the brainless squid wraps its tentacles around him.

"Ooooooh... Hentai...." Oscar says in a sexual tone while drooling...

"Oscar stop with the tentacle monster porn obsession!" Bart yells as they fight with the lobotomised squid.

... The Simpsons then walk the streets of Japan. Homer buys a square watermelon.

“Mmmmmm! Convenient to store...” however the melon morphs back into a round one and Homer drops it with a splat. “D’oh!”

“Dad aside from Mom taking us out with out you and Bart and Hugo, and lunch at that sushi restaurant, you haven’t allowed us to do anything Japanese! Look! A traditional Japanese tea house!” said Lisa holding a leaflet.

“Oh how quaint and... Run boy!” Homer screamed and ran off with Bart.

Lisa sighed.

...

Homer and Bart come across Woody Allen.

Woody Allen stutters and blusters in a nerdy manner.

Meanwhile the rest of the family and Oscar visit a Japanese tea house.

They all enter properly except Hugo who rips through the paper wall like Homer would.

“Hugo!” Lisa scolds him.

“What?” Hugo asked.

They then took off their shoes and socks and sat on the floor of the tea drinking room.

“Oh my god! There’s no furniture?!” Marge gasped.

“No because this is how the Japanese drink tea.” Lisa explained.

A geisha lady brings them their tea.

“Jammies and sandals is a fashion statement here?” Oscar asked wearing a kimono gown and pants and sandals. He had chopsticks in his hair.

Elsewhere after encountering Woody Allen and Jim Belushi in a toga, Homer and Bart were accosted by Japanese people taking photos of Homer.

”Meestah Sparkle! Meesta Sparkle!” A man said excited as he took photos of Homer.

”Konichiwa!” Homer bowed politely.

...

Homer and Bart then go to watch a sumo wrestling match.

"Why are we watching fat men wearing diapers whale on each other...?" Bart asks.

"They're not diapers, Bart..." Lisa sighs trying to explain what the Sumos are wearing.

However Homer asks the sumo wrestler for some salt for his pretzel.

"Mmmm! Pretzel!" The sumo takes his pretzel and eats it.

"Ahhhh!" Homer screams. "Why you big fat!" He fights with the sumo wrestler and wins. He's declared champion.

The emperor of Japan gives him his medal. However Homer thinks the emperor is another wrestler and attacks him.

"No Dad! That's the emperor of Japan!" Lisa yells.

Bart and Homer get arrested. The rest of the family visit them in Japanese jail. Which has paper walls.

"I've never been so embarrassed! Can't you two go on holiday without getting arrested?" Marge groans.

"Oh it's horrible! They made us eat sushi and take part in a kabuki play!" Homer whines.

"Hrrrrm!" Marge groans.

"I'd say they were rather lenient to you. That would be paradise for me. Except the Japanese theatre. I'm not a theatrical person..." Oscar remarked.

"Fine, then get yourself arrested then!" Homer said in a sulk.

"No way!" Oscar replied.

Homer and Bart say something to each other in Japanese.

...

Eventually Homer and Bart are released. Homer quickly finishes his poke bowl and gives it to the geisha ladies and bows to them. Bart leaves the prison cell through the open gate. Homer tears through the wood and paper walls again...

”You could have broke us out?!” Bart yelled.

They go to the park. Homer wants to show Lisa his origami skills he learnt in prison.

He makes a crane out of their last million yen note.

"Look Lisa! A crane!" However the wind blows it away.

"Oh no! That was our last million yen!" Marge laments.

Homer yells D'oh in Japanese.

...

They all have to get jobs gutting fish to afford tickets back home.

"Oh god! This is horrible!" Lisa cries as she's a vegetarian and doesn't want to gut fish.

"Lisa we have to do this to afford our tickets back home!" Marge sighs. "We have no other options!"

Bart is more enthusiastic. "Knife goes in! Guts come out! Knife goes in! Guts come out!" he repeats while gutting the fish. Lisa faints into the fish and has to be taken to the medical bay.

Hugo eagerly rips the heads off the fishes and wolfs them down.

Bart then picks up a magical talking fish.

"Spare my life child and I'll grant you- Aaaaaagh!" the fish explains but Bart kills him.

"Knife goes in! Guts come out!" Bart repeats.

"Pipe down! The company loyalty song is on!" Homer groans.

"Knife goes in! Guts come out! That's what Osaka fishery is all about!" The company mascot, a cartoon squid sings before cutting out his guts and dying.

"Awww! Maggie thinks the fish is a binky!" Oscar coos as Maggie sucks on a fish with its tail sticking out of her mouth.

"Hugo! Stop eating the fish!" Homer yells at Hugo as he is eating the fish.

"What? This is a free meal for me!" Hugo replies.

Then a commercial for a game show hosted by Mr Wink comes on. The family are interested when they find out the prize is tickets home.

...

The family go on Mr Wink's show.

Mr Wink is played by George Takei aka Mr Sulu.

"In your country game shows reward intellect, however in Japan they punish ignorance!" Wink explained.

"What now?" Homer asked. He screamed as fire shot out of his microphone. It had some sort of mini flamethrower installed inside it.

Wink asked them what category they'd want. They all had cheerful names like "Ow that that hurts! Why are you doing this to me? And Please let me die!" The Simpsons pick the last one.

Marge is very sweet and polite to Nr Wink.

“Don’t patronise me!” Mr Wink snapped.

”Hey she wasn’t! She was being polite, asshole!” Oscar snapped.

They are asked questions but Marge gets Mr Wink's name wrong on one question.

"It's Wink!" Wink says annoyed as a flame comes out of Marge's microphone.

Eventually they are given an activity. The prize is their tickets home. But they must cross an active volcano full of boiling lava via a rope bridge.

"Looks treacherous, but let's give it a go." Lisa leads the way. However the bridge collapses on them. They try to form a human chain to hold the bridge together while Oscar crosses them to get the tickets, but the bridge breaks and they fall in the lava.

"Looks like this is the end of the Simpsons!" Bart laments as they fall. However they pour out of a pipe into the studio. The lava wasn't really lava.

"It was just orange soda loaded with wasabi..." Mr Wink explained.

"Aaaaaaagh! It burns!" Homer screams.

They get their tickets to fly home.

...

They fly home, but there's turbulence.

"Strap yourselves in folks, we're currently suffering some Godzilla related turbulence but we should be fine soon." The pilot announces. Godzilla' eye is looking at Lisa through her window. However Lisa yawns and shuts the shutter over her window.

Outside Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan and Gamera are roaring and fighting as the plane flies away.

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