Simpsons Fanon
Advertisement

The Termidadtor Homer starts acting like a terminator and terminator references from throughout the series add to a robotic war in the future of Springfield. Meanwhile The Simpsons have a disastrous trip to Itchy and Scratchy land and fight off killer robots!

Plot[]

In a back alley near Moe's. A glowing sphere appears and from our of it appears Homer. However the Homer has terminator vision. His primary target is to drink beer and eat donuts. He then goes into Moe's.

"Oh hi, Homer!" says Moe.

...

During the events of Boy Scoutz in da Hood, Terminator Homer walks past the Simpsons house while the real Homer is inside watching TV with his kids.

...

During the events of Principal Charming, Terminator Homer masquerading as the real Homer is trying to find a man for Selma. "Must find man... Must find man..." he repeats while using his terminator vision at work and at the Kwik-ee mart.

...

During the events of Selma's choice Bart pulls down Robot George Washington's pants. He is revealed to be a terminator when his eyes go red.

"Ay carumba!" Bart yells.

After Selma and Bart and Lisa were sent home, the robot presidents all go rogue and kill everyone.

...

Bart encounters himself from the future dressed in army clothes and a vest with a chain of machine gun bullets worn across his shoulders.

"I have come from the future. Robots have taken over the world!" Future Bart explains.

"Eat my shorts!" Bart replied, not believing him.

...

During the events Of Homer loves Flanders. The Homer Terminator phases through Ned's hedges like the liquid metal T-1000. He asks Ned if he can hang out. However at this point in the episode Ned has had enough of Homer and lies that they're going to see Grandma Flanders, Just family, Homer can't come,

Homer accepts this and leaves through the hedges backwards.

Later Homer asks the Flanders if they want to play golf but they drive away in a hurry. Homer chases them with golf clubs like the chase scene in Terminator 2: Judgement Day and even clings to the car with his clubs, like the T-1000 does with his blades.

However they manage to throw Homer off. He gets up unharmed.

"Hmmm, they must have not heard me."

...

"Lisa, do you notice something weird about Dad lately?" Bart asks.

"No..." Lisa replies as Homer walks stiffly towards the fridge and fetches a beer.

...

20 years in the future. Homer in his robot body is looking after Bart's sons, Kirk and Picard Simpson. They set fire to Homer. His body melts off revealing a Terminator endoskeleton.

They scream.

"Come on, hug your Grampa!" Homer says to them in a robot voice. They reluctantly hug him. "Terminate! You will be terminated!" He says in a robot voice. They run off screaming. "Hehehe! Kids are so scared when you threaten to terminate them!"

...

One afternoon Bart and Lisa are watching an advert for Itchy and Scratchy Land.

Scratchy lifts weights and grows big muscles. Itchy pokes him with a needle. Scratchy laughs. Itchy pokes him again rapidly. Scratchy laughs but bleeds out from all the puncture wounds. He sits on a bench. Itchy then slices off his muscles with a chainsaw.

Bart and Lisa laugh hysterically. Oscar turns green and runs out the room to be sick.

Itchy and Scratchy have something important to say.

“Thanks, kids. Now I'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment.” said Itchy.

Bart yawned thinking it was a PSA warning.

“Yep. This week is the grand opening of Itchy & Scratchy Land. The violentest place on Earth.” said Scratchy.

“And to celebrate, for this week only, we're cutting ticket prices in half.” said Itchy shoving a pair of scissors in Scratchy’s forehead.

”Yeeeeeowch!” Scratchy cried. He pulled them out along with his brain! “Ughhhhhhh....” he drooled like a zombie.

”Should I stab Bart in the head with scissors?” Maggie asked in a Darth Vader voice.

”Oh hell no! Bart, Maggie’s getting influenced by Itchy and Scratchy again...” Lisa sighed.

“Kids, you heard the cartoon rat. If you haven't already run to your parents begging to go, do it now. You won't miss anything funny. I'll just be sitting here... reading this grownups' newspaper.” said Krusty reading a newspaper. “Go now.” He yelled.

“Dad, remember how you said that going to Itchy & Scratchy Land... would be too damned expensive?” Lisa asked.

”Oh, everything's too damn expensive these days. Look at this Bible I just got, 15 bucks. And talk about a preachy book. Everybody's a sinner, except for this guy.“ said Homer holding a bible.

”But now Itchy & Scratchy Land is cutting ticket prices in half!” Bart explained.

“Can we go, Dad? Can we, can we, can we? Take it, Lis.” Bart begged annoyingly.

“Can we?” Lisa begged.

”No, no, no. Ask your mother.“ Homer replied.

They beg Marge to take them.

"Certainly not! I've already booked our holiday, it's to a bird sanctuary shaped like a giant dime!" Marge explained. Bart and Lisa have sad faces.

That night, Lisa tells Mom and Dad that Bart has died.

Marge and Homer sleeping.

Lisa bursts in. “Mom! Dad! Bart is dead!” She’s pulling Maggie’s brick trolly with Bart lying lifeless upon it.

Homer and Marge are shocked by this news.

”That’s right! Dead serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy land!” said Bart springing back to life.

Marge and Homer go back to sleep relieved. But annoyed.

”Aaaaaaaagh! Zombie!” Oscar screamed. “ Kill it! Kill it!” He tried to smack Bart with a shovel.

“Oz no!” Lisa stopped him.

Lisa manages to convince them that it's for grown ups too as there's a Parent's land in the park. And hammock land and recipe related bumper cars.

"Very well, but I don't want it to end up like our previous holidays. Bart and Homer always mess them up." Marge explained.

"How do we mess them up?!" Homer gasps.

"There was that trip to the Amish country..." Marge has a flashback. In an Amish like village. Homer is being a jackass and sticking ice creams on people. The people are completely frozen like statues.

"Look Marge! I can be a complete jackass and nobody can do anything!" However a donkey gets fed up and kicks him.

"All we managed to get from that trip was a bell to summon the Amish for help building things." Marge sighs. "Worse was that trap to Sandy Beach..."

In another flashback people are scared out of the sea by a shark, however the shark is Homer with a fake shark fin stuck to his back.

"Hehehe!" Homer laughs.

"Hahahaha!" Bart laughs revealing he too was pretending to be a shark with a fake shark fin.

"Aaaaaaagh! Sharkboy!" Homer screams and runs out of the sea.

Bart as Sharkboy stands confused.

Sharkboy from Sharkboy and Lavagirl winces exasperated.

The flashback ends.

"Okay we'll be on our best behaviour..." Bart sighs.

...

The following morning Oscar goes into Bart's room. Bart is dressed in his Sharkboy costume.

"Cool costume!" said Oscar.

"I am Sharkboy, terror of the oceans!" Bart declares.

"Um, you might want to come up with a more original persona..." Oscar says sheepishly as the camera pans to reveal an angry Sharkboy and Lavagirl standing there in the door way.

In Homer and Marge’s room.

“Lobster hat. Fishnet speedos Jr (Tiny Speedos/Budgie Smugglers) Invisible Dog leash! Hehehehe!” Homer packs silly things.

”Well I’m packed.” said Marge.

...

The family then go on their trip to Itchy and Scratchy Land.

Grampa is in charge of looking after the pets.

"Snowball Two needs a bowl of kibble twice a day and- should I write this down?" Marge asks Abe.

"Dang nabbit woman! I ain't senile!" Abe yells.

”Okay Abe. Well just to remind you. Snowball Two needs a bowl of Kibble twice a day. Santa’s little helper needs two cans of Dog Chow a day, feed the fish and Hugo needs three buckets of fish heads a day. And to be honest you should really feed our deformed attic son properly so feed him a variety of foods...” said Marge.

"Ok, see you soon!" The Simpsons say before driving off. Abe has forgotten already.

"Which one of you is the mailman?" Abe asks the cat and the dog. They roll their eyes.

As they go there, they pass signs to a Flicky's cafe.

"Dad, can we stop at Flicky's?" Bart asks.

"No." Homer replies driving on.

"Homer! We need to stop to eat!" Marge nags. They stop and go back to the Flicky's restaurant/cafe. During the trip back Oscar goes mmmmmm! At the posters like Homer does with food.

"Mmmmmm! Red pie..." said Oscar.

Also amusingly there is only one Flicky’s on the entire planet as the next one is 20,000 to 40,000 miles away! The circumference of the entire planet!

At Flicky’s Oscar has a slice of red pie. Cherry.

Homer was annoyed because they were wasting journey time.

After eating they're on the move again.

The then encounter another Homer.

”Hey Dad, it’s another you!” said Bart as they stop to avoid running over the other Homer.

”Oh no...” Lisa sighed.

The other Homer is wearing a black motorcycle jacket and sunglasses. He’s carrying a shotgun.

”Yeah but this version of me is a far more snappy dresser...” said Homer as the other Homer approaches.

”Come with me, if you want to live...” said the other Homer.

”Uh we’re going on vacation to Itchy and Scratchy land... screw you!” said Homer. And they drove off.

However it soon gets late and Homer's tired.

"Homer we should pull over for the night." Marge explains.

"But I'm not tired..." Homer replied yawning. Suddenly a pink car smashes into a lamppost and catches fire. However this wasn't Homer's car as it's revealed he stopped and booked into a motel for the night and is just watching the pink car crash. "Ho boy! Thank goodness that wasn't us!"

...

The Simpsons continue their car journey before stopping at five corners a point on the border of five states.

"Have we been in five states yet?" Lisa asks as they stand on the pentagon.

"No." Homer replies.

”Spoilers for Season 21 folks!” said Oscar.

”Shut up...” said Homer.

They then drive to a boarder gate for people trying to bring fruits and vegetables across state boarders.

"Homer why are you stopping? We don't have any fruits or vegetables!" Marge says incredulously.

"Yeesh! The whole trunk's full of them!" Homer yelps. The squeaky voiced teen then asks them to declare if they have any fruits or vegetables. Homer suddenly drives through the barrier and fruits and vegetables burst out of the trunk.

"Sir, it happened again!" The squeaky voiced teen calls his boss.

The Simpsons went through a shortcut to make up for stopping to eat, sleep and stand at five corners. During this unseen event whatever happened resulted in Homer’s pink car getting scratched up, a missile in Marge’s hair and chickens in the car.

“Let’s never speak of that shortcut again...” said Homer.

Plot 2[]

They then arrive at Itchy and Scratchy Land. They're parked in the Itchy Lot.

"Remember we're in the Itchy Lot!" Homer explains. The other parking lot is called the Scratchy Lot.

As they leave the car, Oscar itches and scratches himself from an irritating itch.

They take a helicopter ride to Itchy and Scratchy Island.

"Welcome to Itchy and Scratchy Island! Where nothing can Possib-bly go wrong." The pilot mispronounced possibly. Everyone looks at him worried. "I mean possibly go wrong, that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong!" He laughs nervously.

Everyone looks worried at him.

They arrive at Itchy and Scratchy Island.

“There it is! Itchy and Scratchy Island!” said Richard Attenborough as Dr Hammond.

The Jurassic Park theme plays.

”Oz no!” Bart groaned.

They buy tickets. This bit is funny...

”One adult and four children I mean two adults four children!” said Homer.

”And that’s canon that line which means either I’m canon or... Oh my god Hugo is canon!” said Oscar.

”Oh god no!” Homer gasped as Hugo appeared.

The ticket lady offers to sell Itchy and Scratchy money.

"It's pretend money just for the park. It's fun!" said the lady at the ticket office.

"Please Dad." Bart begged.

"Okay, if it will be fun." Homer brought some Itchy and Scratchy money. However he soon saw all the gift shops had signs warning they wouldn't accept the Itchy and Scratchy money. "D'oh!" Homer groaned.

First up they catch a ride on the log ride. It seems rather peaceful until the log goes down a trap door and goes really fast down a slope with cannons and other death traps along the way. They stop just before some razor sharp spikes before dropping down another trapdoor and having to evacuate the log ride as a buzzsaw cuts through it. They land on a crash mat safely.

"Hrrrrm! That ride doesn't look very safe." Marge sighs.

"Where shall we go next?" Bart asks. They look at the map.

"Explosion land, searing gas land, unnecessary surgery land?”

Hugo laughed. “Cooooool! Unnecessary surgery land...”

”Moooom! Hugo’s scaring me...” Bart whined.

“Kid’s your father and I want a rest, is there anything for...Ah Parent Island." Marge reads the map. "Are you kids fine while we get some alone time? Kids?" However Bart, Lisa, Hugo (Damn it Homer!) and Oscar are back on the log ride again. Marge shrugged her shoulders and took Homer and Maggie to Parent Island.

...

After dropping Maggie off at the crèche they go to a disco where it's always midnight New Year's Eve/the beginning of New Years Day. The bar owner is John Travolta himself in person, however Marge just thinks he's a look-alike.

”Wow! The bar keep looks just like John Travolta!” said Marge.

”Sure... Looks like...” said John Travolta.

Meanwhile Bart and Lisa go on the Landmine playground with actual landmines... Then Bart went about kicking and stamping on the feet of the theme park mascots. As they left a ride he kicked Scratchy. The bloke in the costume yelled in pain.

...

The family then catch up for lunch. The restaurant entrance has a giant cleaver that almost crushes them.

"Cooool!" Bart coos despite almost getting crushed.

"That doesn't look safe..." Marge groans.

"Don't worry ma'am, everything shown in Itchy and Scratchy is as realistic as possible to educate children of the dangers of copying their favourite cartoon cat and mouse." A park manager explains.

"When were they? In one episode Itchy pulls out Scratchy's lungs and plays them like bagpipes and the next scene he's breathing comfortably!" Marge yells.

"Exactly like real life." The man explains. They then take their seats. A waiter takes their orders.

"Can I take your orders sir?" The squeaky voiced teen asks. (He gets everywhere!)

"I'll have the Brain burger with extra pus." Bart reads the menu.

"Bart!" Marge yells.

"And I'll have the eyeball soup." Homer makes his order.

"Homer!" Marge yells. "We've just sat down and already you're both causing embarrassment!"

"Mom... they have violent, gory names for all of the food and drinks here..." Bart explains.

"Oooooh... Then I'll have the baby guts."

"Madam you disgust me!" The squeaky voiced teen replies taking their menus.

"Mom, that's veal!" Lisa explained what the menu item was.

"Oh dear..." Marge sighs.

Oscar ordered a Brain burger with no pus but blood instead. "I hate mustard!" And Lisa ordered a Brain burger with blood and extra bacon. She's not vegetarian yet...

“Gahblaghgurgarblegrrrrrrr!” Hugo growls and slaps his menu on the table.

”Don’t blame me. That extra child’s ticket was for me because I’m being stingy...” Homer sighed.

”Dad if you insist on being a kid all day, you cannot drink...” said Bart.

”No beer?! Aaaaaagh!” Homer screamed.

...

After lunch they watch the Itchy and Scratchy parade. There are robots carrying axes and machine guns followed by axes and a little, baby axe.

"Awww! Look at the cute baby axe!" Lisa coos.

"It might be cute, but I'm sure it's sharp and possibly deadly." Marge doesn't approve.

"Sharp maybe, deadly, never." The manager explains to them again. "All our robots are programmed to only attack each other, and never the guests." The robots have Terminator vision for recognising targets. They recognise each other as a killable target but the guests as "Don't Hurt!". Scratchy then takes off the top of his head to show Homer the microchips.

"See all those microchips, Homer? That's why your robot at home never worked." Marge explained.

Meanwhile back home. Homer's robot son crawls into the house.

"Father! Give me legs!" begs the robot. "Father!"

"Pipe down you clattering collection of caliginous junk!" Grampa yells at the robot.

...

The family agree to split up to visit the rides/attractions they want.

"Just be back in time for the next parade." Marge explained.

”Yes, or you’ll have to wait for the 5:01 parade.” said Homer.

Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar go on the mine field ride again. along the way Bart sees a mascot, Itchy.

"Bart, don't!" Lisa warns.

"Spoil sport..." Bart puts away his slingshot. As they go in the attraction he runs out and stamps on Itchy's foot before going in. The mascot groans in pain.

They enjoy the mine field attraction.

After finishing the ride/attraction they go out, there's a mascot in a Scratchy costume. Bart kicks its leg before running off. The mascot yells in pain.

Bart and Lisa then go to the mini cinema to watch some films about the history of Itchy and Scratchy. Including Roger Myers Snr being a staunch anti Semite like Walt Disney....

...

Meanwhile Cleatus is taking pictures of the robots. His flash camera breaks one of them.

"No flash photography, sir." The manager explains.

...

Bart and Lisa watch Itchy and Scratchy in parodies of Disney’s Pinocchio and Fantasia.

”Now Itchy-occhio. Don’t a you lie.” said Scratchy as Geppetto.

”I promise I won’t hurt you...” said Itchy as Pinocchio. His nose grew long and poked out Scratchy’s eye.

”Oooooooouch!” He cried.

A Scratchy robot head goes flying through the cinema screen breaking it.

"Ugh! Let's go to the gift store..." Bart sighs as everyone leaves.

At the store Bart tries to find a license plate with his name on it.

"Barclay, Bert... Bort?! Oh come on! Bort?" Bart groans. Suddenly a little boy pushes past Bart.

"Mommy! Mommy! Get me a license plate!" The boy yells.

"No. Come along now, Bort!" The Boy's mom takes him away from the license plates.

"Are you talking to me?" A man asks.

"No, my son's also called Bort!" The mom replied. Bart rolls his eyes.

...

"Bart! Look! Itchy and Scratchy plushies!" Lisa calls Bart over to the soft toys. "Hey what are these other characters?"

"You're probably too young to remember when they started adding characters to keep the show fresh. There's Uncle Ant, Disgruntled Goat, Ku Klux Klam..." Bart explained.

"How did they ever get away with that last one?" Oscar asks.

"I don't know Ozzy, I don't know..." Bart replies.

...

Outside the store, Bart sees another mascot in an Itchy the Mouse costume. He's showing off in front of the ladies.

"So you're God's gift to the ladies uh?" Bart smirks. He gets out his slingshot and fires a stink bomb into the mascot's mouth. The worker inside then starts choking on the smelly fumes.

Bart giggles only to be caught by a security guard. "Uh, officer...?" He gulps.

Bart is then taken to the park's detention centre.

During the trip he passes a comms room.

"More mops and buckets to the exit of the pukinator! I repeat more mops and buckets to the exit of the pukinator!" A worker explaining that a lot of guests have been sick on a ride.

"We have another jumper on the roof of the TGI Scratchy!" A guest trying to commit suicide.

"We are out of Bort license plates! I repeat, we are out of Bort license plates!"

Bart then passes the tech lab. A Scratchy robot is being repaired. When the technician takes off its face it screams.

"I really wish they wouldn't scream..." The technician says to his colleague.

...

Bart is then thrown in a cell. His cellmate is Homer.

"Dad? They locked you up too?" Bart asks.

"Yeah... I kicked a stupid giant mouse up the butt..." Homer sighs.

"Yeah... It's so tempting..." Bart replies.

...

Meanwhile Marge is shopping with Lisa, Maggie and Oscar. Oscar's buying Happy Little Elves merchandise.

"I want five shirts that say 'best vacation ever!'" Marge tells the shop assistant.

"Attention Marge Simpson! Your son has been arrested!" A voice announced over the park speakers. Everyone gasps in horror.

"I would be so embarrassed if that was my son!" A mom says to another in the background. Marge sighs.

"Attention Marge Simpson! We've also arrested your older, fatter, balder son!" The voice calls out again. It meant Homer.

...

Marge is escorted to the detention centre with Lisa, Maggie and Oscar to visit Homer and Bart in prison.

"I am so embarrassed I with I could just crawl into a hole and die!" Marge announces.

"Okay, throw her in ze hole!" The guards grab her. But she breaks free.

"Ungh! That was just a figure of speech!" Marge grunts as she breaks free of them.

...

Eventually it's late and everyone is making their way home.

...

Meanwhile Professor Frink has a dire warning for the technicians.

"The robots are due to go rogue and kill everyone! Oh glavin! Why did I install computer chips from Skynet!?" Frink explained.

"How much time do we have, Professor?" A technician asks.

"Well, according to these calculations, the robots won't attack for 24 hours." Frink explained. However the robots attack immediately and strangle everyone. "Oh, must have forgot to carry a two..." Frink sighs as he checks his sums.

...

"I've never been so humiliated in my life!" Marge yells.

"I was a political prisoner!" Homer yells.

"How were you a political prisoner?!" Marge yells back.

"I kicked a giant mouse up the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture?!" Homer yells. Suddenly the power goes out.

"Oh great. Now what?!" Marge sighs. Suddenly an army of robots march towards them.

"Ooooh! Some friendly robots! Helloooo! Mr robot!" Homer coos at the robots while waving a handkerchief. (In syndication there is a cutaway and Homer repeats himself for dramatic effect.)

"Dad... I don't think those robots are friendly!" Lisa correctly deduces as the robots now recognise humans as a killable target.

A robot tries to decapitate Homer. But Homer keeps dodging its swipes.

"Lisa! Never contradict your father!" Homer yells as he ducks from the robots attacks. However it cuts off his hairs. "Aaaaaggghh! My hair! My beautiful hair!" Homer screams as he collects the hairs.

"That's it! No one ruins my vacation! Except me. And maybe the boy!" Homer points at Bart. He then starts throwing things at the robots, such as a ripe banana, his pocket change and his underwear... yeeeuck! Eventually he throws his camera. When it lands it gives off a flash that kills the robots.

"That's it! Dad! The flash from cameras is their only weakness!" Lisa explained.

"I knew that..." Homer sighs.

Bart grabs an axe from a dead robot and smashes open a gift store and loots its stock of cameras. "Smash smashy!" And souvenirs too.

"Bart..." Marge sighs.

"Everyone take a camera!" Bart hands out the cameras.

They take photos of the robots which kills them.

Bart is cornered by a robot Itchy. "Say cheese, dead mouse!" He says in a fake German accent. The robot dies when he takes a photograph. "Cool! With a cool dry wit like that, I could be an action movie hero!"

Homer then kills all the robots.

"Die! Die! Bad robots!" Homer crawls out of a pile of dead robots.

"With a cool, dry wit like that I could-" But he's interrupted by the crowd of trapped guests cheering.

"You saved us! Hooray!"

...

The park head manager rewards them with five free tickets to Itchy and Scratchy Land.

"I hate to think what's happening to our European Itchy and Scratchy Land..."

Meanwhile the European park is empty. A French park attendant is yelling for customers and that his children need wine.

Advertisement