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The Squirt and the Whale Homer turns to wind power to lower his electricity bills and a hurricane beaches a poor whale. Also featuring the return of the handicapped whale.

Plot[]

The title gag is a space satellite for Fox floating about.

The billboard gag is an advertisement for EBully a website ran by Jimbo Jones.

The chalkboard gag is “South Park we’d stand with you if we weren’t so scared.”

The couch gag is the couch running away again. This time through couch magazines. It also interferes with another cartoon’s couch gag and the Simpsons trample on the family. Eventually the couch is sad and misses the Simpsons and they get back together and live happily ever after. ....

The episode starts with Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar watching a bizarre sci-fi movie about Tic Tac Toe.

X and O shaped spacecraft are shooting each other...

“In a conflict as old as pencils and paper... two mighty armies square off in a battle of Cross vs Circle...“ said the narrator of the weird movie.

“Every year Hollywood churns out stupider and stupider movies...” Hugo sighed.

Bart hushed him.

“My son, he controls the centre of the board, controls the universe...” said a wise old sage to a young man.

“I don’t understand Master!” said the young man.

“Then I fear you are too stupid...” said the old sage.

Then there was romance between two characters.

“I love you Romeo!” said a lady.

“And I love you, Julie X!” said Romeo. But he got squashed by an X ship.

“Tic tac Nooooooo!” Julie X cried.

“Out in cinemas. July the 4th. From the makers of Duck, Duck, Goose. Got ya Nose. And one day in the life of Ivan Denisovich.” said the announcer.

Suddenly the TV went off.

“Uh? What’s going on?” The kids asked and groaned.

Homer had unplugged the TV.

“Look at this electrical bill! I’m not made of money! I’m made of man meat and a skeleton!” said Homer.

He started unplugging ridiculous devices the kids had plugged in and operating for some reason. Including of all things an electric alarm clock and a lava lamp...

“It’s time to unplug these vampire appliances that plunge their prongs into our creamy white outlets to quench their unholy thirst for electrons...” said Homer unplugging devices.

Ace the vampire hissed at him baring his fangs.

“Not now...” Homer groaned. He turned off a lamp. “Lamp” a computer on its screensaver. “Computer” a science gadget called a Jacob’s ladder sparkling and uh doing whatever it’s meant to do. “Jacob’s Ladder!” He switched the gadget off.

“Hey! My science gadgets!” Hugo whined taking his lava lamp and Jacob’s ladder.

Homer found an old timey cinema film reel player.

“How long has this been running?!” Homer gasped.

“Dunno. the ghost of Thomas Edison is mad at you again?” Bart asked.

“Homer! Homeeeeeer! Wooooooo!” The ghost of Thomas Edison moaned at Homer haunting him.

Homer screamed.

“Dad, while it’s great you are trying to save energy...” said Lisa.

“Are you saying I’m fat...” said Homer.

“I meant electrical energy... and I agree... but not during movie night... we were watching that...” said Lisa. “There’s an alternate energy expo on tonight.”

“Let’s go there now!” said Homer.

.....

They went out that evening to the alternative energy expo. “Wait. Can’t let burglars know we’re not in!” said Homer putting on all the lights and Christmas lights.

“Come on! Come on! You too! Hurry!” Marge hurried the kids into the car.

“Where there’s an expo there’s free frisbees!” said Honer as they drove off.

They all got in and drove off. Snake pulled up and saw the lights on and Christmas lights flashing. “What do they think I am? Stupid? I am totally gonna enjoy pooing on their carpet!” said Snake.

Then the wet bandits from Home Alone pulled up. “Oh no! That house is lit up blatantly! Someone is still inside! Let’s get outta here!” said Joe Pesci’s character. They left in a hurry.

Snake rolled his eyes.

...

The Simpsons arrived at the expo. Marge held Maggie and Homer held Eric. Mr Burns was protesting. “Unfair to planet poisoners!” read his protest sign.

At the expo were two rival alternative energy stalls. Farmers selling Corn energy and Hops fuel. The Hops guy threw something at the corn guy and they suddenly started fighting.

The Simpsons looked at the exhibits. Frink advertising something mad scientist like. Barney advertising burp energy. Yes electricity from his own burps... Wiggum had Ralph dressed up as a super hero running around advertising kid power.

“On how adorable!” said Marge.

“Yeah he sure is Marge.” said Wiggum.

Then Hans Moleman was advertising Hydroelectric energy.

“Is this your stall sir?” said some big, muscular dodgy suit guys.

“Yes...” said Hans Moleman. The dodgy suit guys clicked their fingers and more heavy guys arrived and they hey beat up Hans Moleman and shut down his stall replacing it with one for Fossil Fuels.

Then there was a cartoon sun wearing sunglasses advertising solar energy.

“Yeah right... go back to advertising Orange juice and bread....” said Homer to the sun wearing sunglasses. It looks like an orange juice mascot!

Lisa arrived from somewhere. “Dad! Dad! I found what you were looking for!”

“A churro you can eat in the shower?” Homer asked.

“No.... not a churro you can eat in the shower...” said Lisa. “Look!”

A danish man was advertising wind power with a wind turbine.

“Well, I really came here for the free frisbees and a churro you can eat in the shower...” said Homer.

Lisa growled frustrated. “We’ll take one turbine...”

“Now Wait Lisa, I’ve never trusted the word of a Dane before!” said Homer.

“Yes you have! When I tried to cheer Milhouse up after his Mom and Dad were lost at sea by reuniting him with his Danish uncle!” said Bart. “You asked him for advice on what carpet to buy for the Rumpus Room!”

“Oooooooh! Damn you continuity!” Homer yelled.

...

At the Simpsons house the following day, there was a wind turbine spinning about.

“Dad I am so proud of you!” said Lisa hugging her dad. “You’re leading the world into clean energy!”

“Yup! I Al Gored it pretty good!” said Homer.

“Manbearpig is real! I’m super cereal!” Al Gore yelled wearing a red cape. “Excelsior!”

The Simpsons sweat dropped.

“Where’s my Grammy for audiobook narration and bout of insanity over the existence of make believe monsters?” Homer inquired.

“Manbearpig is not make believe! He is real!” Al Gore yelled from off screen.

“Shut up Al Gore...” Homer muttered.

“Dad! The wind turbine is making our meter run backwards!” said Bart.

“Oh my goodness! We’re traveling back in time!” Homer yelled. “I can warn President Lincoln to dump his wife before she goes crazy!”

“Daaaaad! That was Phil Hartman’s wife Brynn...” Lisa corrected him. “And no... the meter is going down because we are now providing the town with electricity...”

“That’s not what Rodney in Only Fools and Horses said when he he told Del the electricity board were concerned their meter was running backwards...” said Oscar.

“Oz, we Yanks don’t get British comedies...” said Bart.

Homer was furious he was giving electricity to people... he called a number on his mobile and was rude to the other person on the line. “We are going off grid!”

“If you say so.” Lenny responded.

However relying only on wind power had its downside....

Homer, Lenny and Carl were watching an opera on TV when it cut out as soon as the wind turbine stopped spinning.

“What the!” Homer stammered. “I’ll see what problem is...”

He went to see the wind turbine that had stopped spinning.

“What gives?! Make electrify you stupid wind turbine!” Homer yelled at the wind turbine.

“Dad. If we’re really off grid we won’t have any power while the air is still...” said Lisa.

“So you guys need wind eh? I have the solution...” Oscar said smirking.

He was stood behind the blades of the wind turbine with his shorts and underwear pulled down farting violently into the blades while eating beans. The blades spun about.

“Woohoo!” Homer cheered.

“Eeeeeeew! Oscar! Not that kind of wind...” Lisa groaned.

“Methane is still a power source...” said Oscar still farting.

“Yes but it’s not a clean energy source for the environment! It goes completely against what we are trying to do this episode! Harness clean energy!” said Lisa.

“I’ll say! Hahahahaha! Not clean energy my bowels...” Oscar laughed. “I’m a one boy gas station!”

“Eeeeeew!” Lisa groaned.

“Okay enough fart jokes! Pull up your shorts and get down from there Oz...” Homer groaned.

“Anyway before mount Vesuvius butt interrupted, the Simpsons will just have to live intermittently...” said Homer.

...

To the song Danger, Danger! High voltage! Was a montage of the Simpsons having to deal with their electricity going on and off when the wind calmed down. A bouncy castle Bart, Lisa and Milhouse were bouncing on in the yard kept inflating and deflating.

“Come on. At least Mudboy’s fun place doesn’t require electricity...” said Oscar.

While playing the Wii, Bart and Lisa were playing tennis on Wii Sports when the power cut out. They then started smacking each other with the Wii remotes until the TV and game came back on. Now their Miis were hitting each other with their rackets.

The lights went out while Marge did her make up so when they came back on she had smeared her makeup.

Then Homer in the garage was cutting a board of wood when the power went out turning off the buzz saw. He fell asleep on the plank of wood and the buzz saw came on again and he was pulled towards it...

After the musical montage the the power fluctuations caused Marge to have a lumpy smoothie.

“Ooooooh! My smoothie is all lumpy!” Marge groaned.

“Don’t worry Marge. The wind may stop working but my brain nev-.... er does.” The buzz saw must have injured Homer...

He powered the turbine by blowing fans at it.

“Dad that defeats the entire purpose if you are using fans powered by Mr Flanders’s electricity...” said Lisa.

“Homer! This meeting of your fan club is adjourned!” said Ned.

“But we haven’t done the minutes of the next meeting!” Homer groaned.

Ned pulled out the plugs turning off the fans and throwing them out the window.

“You used to be nice!” Homer groaned.

....

One evening Lisa was watching House while Bart was pushing the blades of the turbine manually. He was exhausted.

“Ugh! When’s it your turn?!” He groaned.

“Bart please I’m on Dr House’s third incorrect diagnosis! I want to see his last and correct diagnosis...“ said Lisa.

“Come on Hugh Laurie! Say something funny and annoy Rowan Atkinson!” Oscar groaned.

“Oz! This isn’t an absurd British comedy! It’s a medical drama! Mr Laurie is allowed to do straight acting once in a while...” Lisa ranted.

Bart was exhausted making the blades on the wind turbine move. “Oh come on Wind! You used to be cool! Like how Toon Link can command you just with a conductor’s baton! Or how Cherubs blow wind from the corners of old fashioned maps...” said Bart.

Scott the cherub appeared.

“Fine...” he inhaled to blow a gust of wind.

“You better have had a few breath mints diaper dude...” said Bart to Scott the Cherub.

“How dare you!” Scott was offended. He inhaled then exhaled a huge gust of wind to power the turbine. Bart was blown away and the turbine spun rapidly.

Plot 2[]

However Scott’s wind became a hurricane and made too much wind! And too much wind meant too much power!” The bright TV made the Simpsons look like skeletons.

“Homer I think this is too much electricity...” said Marge.

“You’re never satisfied...” Homer as a skeleton groaned.

The next morning the hurricane had caused carnage. The wind Turbine had been pulled down by the wind.

“We’re going out to see the hurricane damage!” said Bart and Lisa leaving. Followed by Oscar and Hugo.

“Okay but remember what I told you about fallen power lines! Because I don’t...” said Homer.

In town a man was being annoyed by his wind chimes that wouldn’t stop playing. “Make it stop! Make it stop!” He cried.

And the town’s giant dandelion lost all its seeds as they were blown away on parachutes.

“Why do we have a giant dandelion...” Oscar asked.

“I dunno...” said Bart.

And the tire fire got blown out.

“Hey the tire fire has finally gone out!” said Lisa. A lightning strike set it alight again. “Never mind...”

They headed to the beach where all sorts of junk got washed up or blown here.

“Woooooow! Scuba goggles! Medical waste!” said Bart putting on old goggles with a piece of lens missing and holding a bag of syringes.

A whale moaned sadly.

There was a giant blue whale beached on the beach.

“Oh no! The poor whale!” lamented Lisa.

While she comforted the giant mammal and wondered how something so tremendous could be rendered vulnerable. Bart mucked about.

He was sliding about bare foot on the whale.

“I can have an ice skating party on her!” said Bart because the whale is a girl whale in canon. “Whoooooa!” He fell down into the blowhole. “Ay carumba...” he sighed.

Then he was shot out again covered in whale snot... Eeeeew!”

“Eeeeeeugh!” He groaned when he landed covered in snot.

“Eeeeeeew... Bart...” Oscar groaned. He walked off to find Billy from Grim adventures smiling and covered in whale snot too.

“Billy get out of the whale’s snot...” Mandy sighed.

“Bart stop it, this is serious! What are you doing to her?!” Lisa asked as Bart continues to torment the poor whale.

He was playing with her flippers to make her make obnoxious armpit noises. “Check it out, biggest armpit fart!” Bart made the beached whale make an armpit fart sound. The whale then smacked him and sent him flying far away into the ocean.

“You jut made a powerful enemyyyyyyy!” He cried as he flew away.

“Yahoo! Now I can be Bart!” Hugo cheered.

“Guys this is serious! A whale needs our help!” Lisa pleaded..

“I’ll say! That handicapped whale wearing a diaper is back...” Oscar mused.

“I can’t go potty by myself!” blurted the handicapped whale sat in a huge wheelchair wearing a diaper.

“Oz no! Not that handicapped whale again!” Lisa yelled.

...

At home Marge and Homer survey the damage caused by the hurricane. Apparently it broke Marge’s collection of fine China which had been given as a wedding gift.

“Oh no! My collection of fine China plates!” Marge cried.

“Oh no.... now we’ll have to eat Thanksgiving off of regular plates like animals!” Homer boasted sarcastically.

“Homer you don’t have to be so sarcastic...” explained Marge.

.....

Lisa, Bart, Hugo and Oscar ran in. “Mom! Dad! A whale is beached on the beach! She needs our help."

“Lisa is right. Even though Bluella is the perfect punchline for fat jokes!” blurted Oscar. “Beached Whale? Common insult for fat people?”

“I’ll show you beached whale!” Homer growled strangling Oscar.

“Homer stop that! We have to help save Lisa’s whale!” implored Marge.

“Why does this always happen?! Lisa finds a helpless animal she like and we have to save it... like that manatee...” Homer groaned.

The whole town gathered near the whale.

“Arrrr! As a sea captain I like to kill whales for their expensive blubber! So this episode we be mortal enemies Lisa!” Sea captain observed, about to shoot Bluella with a harpoon.

“Nooooo!” Lisa stood in Sea Captain’s way.

“Walk the plank Captain McCallister...” Oscar pointed a harpoon gun at Sea Captain.

“Arrrrrr! Ya craven land lubbers!” Sea Captain stormed off.

Homer tried to think of an idea.

“We get the town’s strongest man to pull Bluella into the ocean."

Rainer Wolfcastle struggled and failed to pull the whale into the sea.

“Okay... ten of the town’s strongest man.” Homer suggests.

“How did Family Guy resolve this? They had a whale cutaway, didn’t they?” Bart inquired.

“The uh Peter with a forklift and a whale didn’t end well for the poor whale...” Oscar recalled.

“Well I’m stumped.” said Homer.

“I got it! We get Will Smith as Hancock to throw the whale into the sea!”

They all go to Bel Air.

.....

“Willllllll!!” Uncle Phil/Shredder yelled.

“Ye-yes Uncle Phil?” Will Smith asked.

“I want those meddlesome turtles destroyed! Tonight I want to be dining on turtle soup! Do I make myself clear?” Shredder demanded.

“Yes Uncle Phil!” said Will.

“And Bebop! Rocksteady! Go with him!” Uncle Phil yelled.

“Yes sir!” said Bebop and Rocksteady.

“We get it! He’s Shredder!” Bart groaned.

Oscar rang on Uncle Phil’s door.

“Meddlesome human friends of the turtles! How dare you disturb me!” Uncle Phil as Shredder yelled.

“Yeah set aside our differences for now Shredder... we need Will to save a whale.”

“My nephew has no time for heroics! I have ordered him to destroy those obnoxious turtles once and for all!” Shredder yelled.

“Oh you mean us Shred!” said the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Action music played.

“Coooool!” said Hugo.

“Cowabunga!” Oscar yelled.

“Oz no!” Bart groaned.

While the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fought with Shredder and Bebop and Rocksteady.

“Come on Will we need Hancock.” Oscar voiced.

...

Will as Hancock grabbed Bluella by her tail and threw her into the ocean.

“Will she be okay?” Lisa asked.

“Well if that water was Hard on impact then no... but since I’m the writer... yeah she’s fine swimming about and... oh no...” elaborated Oscar.

“What?” squeaked Lisa.

“Sea captain is after her again...” Oscar announced. Sea captain was laughing evilly while holding a harpoon gun.

“Luckily Hancock me can fly! Drunk super hero Will Smith to the rescue!”

“Okay but hurry back Will! Young Michael Myers keeps calling me an asshole!”

“Asshole!” hissed Michael Myers/The Shape as a child. It’s true! Look it up! The actor for young Michael Myers is in Hancock!

“Call me an asshole one more tine you deadly, frightening serial killer And I’ll!” Oscar shouted.

“You’ll what?” Michael Myers challenged.

“Well... considering you’re near indestructible and an incredibly strong serial killer...”

A record needle scratched.

“Wait hold it! Yes I’m the Michael Myers... but I’m not the famous serial killer yet! I murdered my babysitter one Halloween night while dressed as a clown... my Schlick isn’t the Shape yet! It’s being an evil little killer clown, being locked in a mental asylum by Ernst Starvo Blofeld or calling Will Smith an asshole...” Michael Myers admitted.

Bart face palmed.

“Can you do all of that in one movie? That would be one sweet James Bond film!” Oscar requested.

“No! I am not making a cameo as a SPECTRE agent and besides that McClory Guy might sue...” Michael Myers denied. He stabbed Oscar with a big knife.

“My spleen!” Oscar cried while dying.

...

Meanwhile Will Smith as Hancock landed on Sea Captain’s boat.

“Arrrrr! A stowaway!” Sea Captain snarled, annoyed. Hancock beats him up because that’s what super heroes do to bad guys.

This gave Bluella time to swim away to safety and alert every famous whale to teach Sea captain a lesson. Mobs Dick and Monstro and Free Willy glared at Sea captain in his boat.

“Oh barnacles!” Sea Captain gulped. Moby Dick slapped him and his boat clear over the horizon with his tail.

“Curse you merciful Poseidon! And curse you Moby Dick!” Sea Captain roared.

“Well that was the stupidest conclusion to my story arc... but at least I got my happy ending.” grinned Lisa.

“Yeah but it was crap writing and stupid cameos!” Bart groaned.

“Asshole!” hissed Michael Myers. Will Smith as Hancock grabbed him and threw him away screaming.

“Thanks Will.” grinned Oscar.

“No problem! Now to fight aliens, act as Earth police to alien visitors And star in movies with my son Jaden.” Will approved as he flew away.

“Stop being Genie!” Oscar yelled as he flew away.

“Well that was the stupidest thing ever...” Bart sighed.

...

Meanwhile to fill up episode...

“Homer the hurricane made a hole in the roof!” Marge ordered, looking up the roof of the house with binoculars.

“Well now Hugo gets that skylight he wanted!” Homer lamented.

Oscar was upstairs writing this episode. The plot line was Homer struggling to put on a fat builder’s tool belt.

“Ugh! Who are these built for?! French super models?!” Homer groaned as he was so fat even a tool belt was too tight for him.

“And now to write my movie, about a whale in Mexican jail...” Oscar was writing a surreal movie about a whale in Mexican Prisom.

“Say your prayers Escobar!” shrieked a Hispanic prisoner.

The whale just moaned whale sounds.

“Wow! This thing writes itself!” Oscar noted, writing.

Then Oscar heard Heard Lisa sobbing and Homer comforting her.

“There, there. I don’t know much but I can bare to see my little girl cry. Now that I do know!” Homer assured. I have no idea how she went from getting her happy ending to this...

“You can say that again! Ha!” Hugo propounded, being a smart aleck.

“I’m trying to be a sensitive father! You unwanted moron!” Homer snapped.

Hugo cried and ran up to the attic.

Oscar growled. “Homer!” He yelled getting up.

That night Homer was reading Lisa a bed time story about a daddy whale. The whale and his calves were swimming when evil sharks appeared.

“Sharks are evil in Disney films trust me.” Homer claimed.

...

Suddenly Dory from finding Nemo tried making whale sounds to warn them.

“Dory stop! You sound like upset stomach!” Marlin sighed.

“Maybe I should try Orca...” suggested Dory trying to do Orca sounds.

“No Dory!” said Marlin.

“I’ll help! Run, I mean swim little whales! I uh mean (Whale warning cries and moans)”

...

Marlin was astonished Lisa could perfectly copy a whale. “You ha e a very, very strange gift...”

At home in her room Lisa blushed and giggled as she made whale sounds.

...

“Oh that’s nothing!” said Timmy Turner’s Dad. He made a dolphin sound.

“Mr Turner! I won’t have that sort of language here! Wash your mouth out with soap!” Mr Krabs told off Timmy’s Dad.

In the story Mr Whale was surrounded by Sharks. He was voiced by Homer. “Ooooooh! Sharks! Oh why can’t I be eaten by a giraffe? That would be fun...”

“Oh no! Did Mr Whale survive?!” Lisa asked her Dad.

“Well... we’ll have to wait for Plot 3!” said Homer. Dun dun dun!

Plot 3[]

Mr Whale was in a dire situation when...

“Aqua man saved the day with his magic trident!” cheered Homer.

“Oh geez...” Lisa sighed. “And I suppose Greystache helped with his moustache power!”

“Sure why not?”

After the sharks were defeated.

“Then what happened?” Lisa asked.

“An eligible young bachelor like him with two cute kids? He found himself a sexy lady octopus...” said Homer.

“Oh god! Mmmmmmmm!” Oscar got aroused.

“Dad! That’s disgusting! And besides a whale can’t breed with an octopus!” said Lisa.

“Why not? I bred my Skitty with Bart’s Wailord!” said Oscar playing Pokemon on his Gameboy Advance.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

“And the weirdly interspecies couple lived happily ever after. And had freaky octo-whale babies! The end!” said Homer. He kissed Lisa goodnight and turned out her light. She imagined childish drawings of Homer’s stupid story.

...

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