The Simpsons Tall Stories At a book reading club, Lisa is exasperated that no one read this month's best seller so she asks everyone to tell a story, but make it original enough so that they don't get sued. Chaos soon insues.
Plot[edit | edit source]
Lisa is annoyed that everyone at the Springfield book club didn't read this month's book.
"Are you lot serious! You're telling me you didn't read this month's book?!" Lisa yelled. Everyone murmured excuses for why they didn't read it. "Ok, everyone come up with a story that inspired you, but change it enough that it's original..."
“Can I read the Dinosaur that Pooped Christmss?” Oscar asked.
“No Oscar...” Lisa groaned.
Bart laughed. “The dinosaur that pooped Christmas! Oh Dougie Poynter...”
Hugo chewed on a book.
“Hugo don’t chew the books!” Lisa whined.
“Lisa he’s teething!” Oscar snapped.
“Well give him something else to sooth him!” said Lisa.
Homer started. "It's called the little engine that couldn't." His story was an obvious parody of Thomas the Tank Engine and The little engine that could. It was about the citizens of Springfield as trains, with Smithers as the station master.
“Or the fat controller” Oscar replied.
“Stop interrupting!” Homer whined. “Now where was I? Oh yeah...”
The main character is portrayed by Homer as a lazy train who doesn't like doing work. Apparently he is tired because he was at a bar on the wrong side of the tracks last night.
“Homer, I know you were at that bar on the wrong side of the tracks last night...” said Smithers.
“Aaaaaaagh! They’re steam trains! And they have faces!” He laughs madly like Homer did in Treehouse of Horror IV when he saw the dogs playing poker painting.
“Um okay...” Homer narrated.
Homer is sent to deliver toys to an orphanage, but he must go up a hill to get there. Along the way he meets Flanders as another train and after being annoyed by his cheerful attitude, “oh blow it out your smoke stack!” Homer train yelled.
“It’s the only way to!” Ned replied chuckling. Homer tricks Flanders into doing his work for him and goes back to the station to refuel.
Then Ringo Starr was narrating for some reason.
“Of god no! Why Ringo?! Why would you narrate a sappy children’s show with lame cartoon trains with faces!?” Oscar whined.
“Kid stop interrupting...” Homer growled.
The station is like a bar, but trains don’t drink beer. They go to get refuelled with hot coal. Moe is in charge of refuelling the trains.
"Ok that was a good Story Dad. Maggie would like that one!" Lisa said before Grampa offered to tell a story.
"Ok, but no war stories that go off in a tangent..." Lisa explained. Grampa waved his stick furiously and spoke rapidly and unclearly to express his annoyance at Lisa insulting his stories. Then he calmed down and told the story.
It was a loose parody of The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe with Bart and Lisa as the two youngest of the Pevensie siblings. Bart has followed Lisa into Narnia, or at least a lose parody of it.
"See, I told you there was a whole other world in here." Lisa explained as they found themselves in a wintery world where it's constantly snowing.
"And I was trying to find a world in the toilet..." Bart looked around in wonder. Suddenly Mr Tumnus played by Comicbook guy appears.
"Greetings children! I am Mr Tumnus! Come with me!" said Mr Tumnus.
"No offence, but our parents told us not to go off with strangers." Lisa explained.
Then Oscar bare foot marched into Narnia from the wardrobe interior angry at Mr Tumnus.
“Give me my socks back! You hairy goat bastard!” Oscar swore.
“Oz language!” Lisa as Lucy scolded Oscar for swearing.
Comicbook Guy Mr Tumnus made a goat bleating sound and ran away..
“Hey come back!” Oscar ran after him.
The evil snow queen Jadis, played by Agnes Skinner arrived in her ice chariot. "No come with me! I have Turkish delight!" said Jadis.
"Well you can't say no to some good old Turkish delight!" Bart as Edmund is tempted to go with Jadis.
"No! The Snow Queen is dan-diddly-angerous!" said Ned as Aslan the lion.
"Excuse me, but why would a lion from Africa be found living in such a cold climate like this?" Lisa asked.
"Well, actually I'm an allegory for-" Ned explained however he was interrupted by Grampa Simpson as Santa...
"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!" said Santa.
"Santa?" Lisa asked.
"I ain't Santa! I'm Father Christmas!" Ok Father Christmas explained... "From Britain!"
"What's the difference?" Bart asked.
"In Britain the candy canes are deep fried!" Father Christmas explains. Offering them unhealthy deep fried treats.
"Mmmm! Deep fried Christmas!" said Homer as Mr Beaver.
"Hi diddly ho! Mr Beaver! Mmmm, all that fried food is making me hungry..." Ned as Aslan greets Mr Beaver, but looks at him hungry.
However all hell breaks loose!
"Help! The Snow Queen is fighting with the white witch and I'm being attacked by the white stag! Run children!" cried Mr Tumnus as a stag rammed him. Meanwhile Agnes as Jadis is fighting Selma as a white witch and Aslan is chasing Mr Beaver trying to eat him. Then two hobbits appear...
"Um, we have this ring and we must destroy it by throwing it into Mount Doom. However we seemed to have got lost." Frodo explained.
Bart and Lisa gave each other looks of disbelief.
They are then later seen outside the mansion holding a garage sale.
"Listen up people! We have a special deal on this wardrobe!" Bart explained. "It comes free with these puzzle boxes from Hellraiser and this Jumanji board game!"
However Peter and Judy rushed up to him and snatched Jumanji. "How did you get hold of this?! Jumanji is not for sale!" Judy explained as she took it and marched off with her little brother.
Bart shrugged his shoulders.
“Okay who’s next?” Lisa asked.
Hugo wanted to tell a story.
“Okay Hugo what’s your story.” Lisa asked.
Hugo just growled and snarled in gibberish.
“Hugo we can’t understand you when you talk in gibberish. Slow down and think about what you are trying to say.” said Lisa.
Bart volunteered to tell a story. "Go ahead Bart."
"It's called Lisa Longstockings. Once there was a girl called Lisa Longstockings... she lived in a treehouse with a cool monkey and a pony." Bart started the story.
"Aww, such a strong female lead! And she has a pony!" Lisa praises Bart. He blushes.
"Then her brother Bart Longstockings arrived." Bart explained.
"Hey Sis, I need somewhere to crash." Bart Longstockings explained.
"Ok..." said Lisa Longstockings.
However Bart was too noisy and made a mess. Eventually Lisa's monkey and pony got fed up clearing up after him and being treated as servants. They quit.
Even Lisa got fed up and called their divorced parents in for a meeting. For the sake of this story, Mom is an angel in heaven and Homer is an explorer.
"Why don't you go and live with Mom?" Lisa asked Bart.
"Why don't you go and live with Mom?" Bart asked.
"Fine..." Lisa sighed. Marge flew her back to heaven.
Lisa enjoyed herself and even helped out her mom.
"Thanks Mom, but I really want to get home and see how Bart's doing." said Lisa Longstockings.
I wonder what sort of mess Bart's got himself into... Lisa thought. However she found Bart had formed his own rock band with Lisa's monkey and pony and was extremely popular.
"I guess Bart's right, boys will always be better than girls..." Lisa Longstockings sighed.
"That's the name of his next album! Boys will always be better than girls!" said a rabbit.
"Oh real mature Bart... Well I've got a story... A story about a boy just like you..." Lisa sighed as Bart laughed. She then smugly told her story.
Homer was one evening taking Bart and Milhouse to the fair. There was a magic merry go round ride being attended to by Sideshow Bob. (However in this story Bart doesn't know who Sideshow Bob is)
Homer wants to go on the merry go round. So he does, however it goes backwards. He whines that he feels giddy and ages backwards. Once the ride ends he is ten years old again.
"Dad? You're my age?!" Bart gasped.
"Woohoo! My wish worked!" Homer cheered.
"Now it's your turn, both of you." said Sideshow Bob sinisterly.
"Um no thanks, I'm already my age." Bart replied.
"Come here!" Sideshow Bob chased them.
"Run!" Bart yelled. The ran through the magic mirror house just as Edna ran out screaming about horrible reflections. Bart, young Homer and Milhouse saw the scary reflections.
"Aaaaaaaagh!" They screamed and ran out. Bart and Milhouse lost Young Homer.
"Oh no! Where's Dad? Dad!?" Bart tried to look for Homer.
"I ain't you Dad! I'm Grampa and I just went to the fair!" said a young Abe. Sideshow Bob must have got to him too.
Eventually Bart found Homer hiding in the sewers.
"Dad... why are you in the sewers..." Bart asked.
"Sideshow Bob was scary and I'm waiting for Moe's to open to have a couple of beers." Young Homer replied.
"Dad, you're my age! You can't drink for another eleven years!" Bart explained.
"No drink for eleven years?! Nooooooo!" Young Homer screamed an ran away.
"Hey! Shouldn't you be at home doing your homework?" Principal Skinner said as Young Homer ran past followed by Bart and Milhouse. They headed back to the fairground.
However Milhouse accidentally knocks Krusty onto the merry go round. It goes forward a bit before throwing him out very old.
"Leaping lizards! You must be a hundred years old now!" Milhouse remarked.
"Yeah, but my books I'd say I'm eighty..." Old Krusty replied. However Sideshow Bob found them.
"Now I have you!" Bob tried to grab them but they escaped. Milhouse bashed into a tree and dropped his glasses.
Bart hid in the mirror house. "Oh yeah, the scary reflections.., I mean- Aaaaaaaagh!" Bart remarked before screaming. Milhouse blindly stumbled in.
"You know without my glasses these reflections look kinda funny!" Milhouse said before laughing.
"Laughter?! Noooooooo! My one weakness!" Sideshow Bob screamed before his evil fairground collapsed around him and he vanished without a trace.
"With Sideshow Bob gone the fairground is just an ordinary fairground. Luckily I have the instructions to get this magic merry go round working again..." said Krusty.
At the Simpsons house.
"Now, you'll understand that in my old age I may have forgot a few things so heh... Don't be mad..." Krusty explained. The camera pans to reveal Krusty's attempts to restore everyone's ages went horribly wrong and he even screwed up Bart and Milhouse who didn't need to use the merry go round.
"But why am I a girl now..." Girl Milhouse asked.
"Maybe you shouldn't have sat on it sidesaddle." said old Homer as he chewed apple sauce. He went too old.
"Well, I think everything turned out just right..." said a young Abe in his thirties as he admired himself in a hand mirror.
"Easy for you to say... now change Bart's diaper, he's starting to stink up the place..." Homer pointed to a babyfied Bart sitting in a diaper crying.
"Oh so I'm a baby now?! That's real mature Lisa..." Bart groaned.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"What's that burning smell?" Lisa asked.
"It's time for the monthly book burning club Lisa! And that novel you left on the table burnt so well!" Reverend Lovejoy said joyfully.
Lisa sighed and facepalmed as she went home.