The Simpsons Movie:Beyond Blunderdome After the events of the first act. Grampa has a dire warning in church, no one listens and it cryptically leads to a series of events involving Homer getting a pet pig and polluting the lake with pig poop (and some human poop.) resulting in many eyed mutant squirrels and Russ sealing the town under a glass dome forever...
Meanwhile Lisa has a new boyfriend called Colin and Bart develops a weird friendship with Ned.
In this act the Simpsons mount an escape and end up at Alaska!
There is a series of scenes recounted including Scratchy screaming and swallowing loads of missiles. Grampa’s dire warnings in church. Homer jabbing himself in the eye with a hammer. The polluted lake skull and crossbones, Homer introducing Spider Pig and eventually the dome sealing in Springfield...
Everyone realising they’re trapped and can’t do anything gives up for now and goes back to their usual lives. Just unable to go anywhere.
Kent Brockman reads the news. Springfield is trapped under a dome and running out of supplies. Then he has some news that gets Homer into trouble.
“We are still looking for the culprit that doomed us all to being trapped under this dome. We thought we’d never find the accursed one until now with this evidence!” said Kent.
There was footage of a metal silo being pulled out of the polluted lake.
“That could be anyone’s metal silo.” said Homer.
The camera focuses on someone’s signature on the silo. “Property of Homer Simpson.”
Marge gasped. “Homer! You polluted the lake?! You’ve killed this town!”
“Now let’s not all point the finger...” Homer gulped.
“You didn’t follow my instructions! You had to take a shortcut... Now we’re trapped under this dome forever because of you!” Marge yelled.
The entire family glare at Homer and storm out.
“Ooooohhh...” Homer whines.
Lisa sighs as she is pressed up against the dome wall looking at the world outside.
Colin arrives playing a violin and singing Too rah Loo. “Too rah loo, la roo ral...”
Lisa cheers up and blushes.
“Oh Colin, would thoust grant me my first kiss?” Um I thought she had her first kiss with Nelson...
Colin nodded and kissed Lisa on the cheek.
Lisa blushed and giggled.
“Ha Lisa and Colin! Sitting in a tree! K I S S I N G!” Bart sang taunting them.
“Bart!” Lisa yelled.
Nelson was watching this. He made a fist gesture at Colin for stealing his girlfriend.
“Do you lovebirds mind? I’m trying to dig us out of this dome. I got separated from Teddy when the dome went down and now he’s creeping me out and making me wet my pants by pressing his nose against the dome...
Teddy the teddy bear was talking silently because the dome was sound proof. He then silently giggled and then smooshed his big wet shiny black nose against the dome wiping slimy moisture across it.
Oscar had a worried look on his face. Suddenly we hear a loud trickling as he pisses his pants. Urine trickles down his leg.
“Oscar...” Lisa sighs.
Bart is at Ned’s bored as Rod and Todd watch Veggietales.
“Bart its always nice to have you around at the old Flanders shack. But you don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.” said Ned.
“It’s okay Mr Flanders. I’d rather be here right now than at home. I can’t bring my self to call my dad, Dad right now...”
Ned listened to Bart as he explained Homer was to blame for getting them all trapped under the dome.
“How about I fix you boys some cocoa?” Ned asked.
“Yay!” Rod and Todd cheered.
“And how about I see if there’s something else to watch. You’ve got to have Itchy and Scratchy on this thing surely,..” said Bart.
“What’s It hey and Scratchy?” Ned asked.
“It’s a kids show! Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of it...” said Bart.
“Well if it’s for kids...” said Ned.
However the Flanders were horrified to see the blood and gore in the cartoon.
“Daddy what is that red stuff coming out of Scratchy?” Rod asked.
“Oh that’s strawberry jelly!” said Ned.
“Daddy should I stab Rod with scissors?” Todd asked.
“Absolutely not! Sorry Bart but this cartoon is banned in my house!” said Ned. “They let kids watch this filth?”
“It’s not filth! It’s just you’re not used to such violence! I’m acclimatised to it...” said Bart.
To get away from Homer because she was mad at him, Marge took Maggie and Hugo swimming. Marge is in the shallow end with Maggie while Hugo swims lengths by paddling frantically.
“Hugo don’t splash! Do the frog stroke like I explained earlier.” said Marge as Hugo was annoying people by splashing.
Hugo made non verbal growls as he swam.
“I hope Oscar is okay using the men’s changing room alone...” said Marge.
Oscar arrived wearing water wings on his arms and his green goggles on his forehead holding his hair in style.
“Oscar... You’re nine. You do not need to be wearing water wings...” Marge sighed.
“The water is too deep!” Oscar whined.
“Then stay in the shallow end or go in the kiddie pool.” Marge sighed.
“But the water is warm! And it stinks of pee...” said Oscar.
“Oscar that’s just a rumour! No one pees in the pool! Except babies probably...” said Marge.
Maggie acted offended.
Oscar went off to the kiddy pool. There were kindergarteners and babies and toddlers in there. A fat kid in a floatation ring smiled smugly as the water around him turned yellow slightly.
“Eeeeew!” said a kindergartener in a swimming club.
Oscar sighed. “I don’t even like swimming unless the pool has slides and stuff...”
“You’ll warm to it.” said Hugo getting out of the pool to dry off.
“Nope it only gets worse for me...” said Oscar.
Six years later...
Oscar has gone swimming with Uncle Buck Tamaki. An older Oscar with a small goatee beard is leaving the pool when Buck stops him.
“Wait hold it Skipper. You’ve got a boner...” said Uncle Buck smoking a spliff despite the no smoking rule.
Oscar blushed as his manhood was sticking up.
In the present Oscar shivered in disgust.
Homer tried to go to Moes but his friends saw the news report and are mad at him. They glare at him like in The Bart mangled flag as he sits down. (When Bart accidentally mooned the flag).
“Oh the silent treatment eh? Okay, I’ll talk to myself then!” said Homer. He put on a voice for an imaginary persona. “Hi Homer. Hi dude. How you doing? Your wife was great in bed last night, Why you son of a!! You stay away from my wife! I can just give her pleasure that you can’t! Why you!” Homer’s conversation with himself descends into him accusing himself of infidelity and strangling himself.
“Homer... Homer!” Moe breaks the ice.
“Yep?” Homer asked.
“The boys and I don’t want you here no more. You’re barred. Now get outta here...” said Moe.
“Okay...” Homer sighed sadly and left.
Homer went home early to find the animals mad at him, except Spider Pig who kinked happily and licked him. “Aaaawwww! At least you love me still boy!” said Homer playing with Spider Pig. Spider Pig squealed happily.
Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II rolled their eyes.
Marge came home still blanking Homer. In fact everyone continued to give him filthy looks as they came in. Marge went to the garden an put Maggie in her sand box and left her... Uh yeah...
Maggie saw a squirrel outside the dome. It was looking at her. Then it went down a hole and popped up via the sinkhole. Maggie giggled and clapped. The squirrel went back down the sinkhole and popped up outside the dome to demonstrate it was an escape route.
Maggie followed the squirrel down the sink hole and popped up in the forest.
Inside Marge was openly commenting how the house was now a menagerie from all the pets they had over the years.
Santa’s Little helper barked. Snowball II meowed and stretched herself as she yawned. Lisa was feeding the fish which were currently three angelfish. Stampy sticks his head through the window and trumpets loudly. Bart stands nearby smugly as he holds a tiny turtle. Hugo has Freckles and flaps the pigeon rat hybrid. Oscar’s green bear cub from Happy Little Elves coughs up a green hairball...
“Okay you’ve made your point narrator...” said Marge.
At lunch they had pancakes and syrup like in Lisa the vegetarian.
“So are we all just ignoring Homer still?” Oscar asked.
“Pass me the syrup. Pass me the syrup? Pass me the syrup!!” Homer asked but everyone blanked him so he had to yell.
“Here’s your stupid syrup!” Marge angrily passed him the syrup.
“What is everyone’s problem?! Oh the dome...” said Homer.
“Dad everyone is going to have seen that news report. You might have an angry mob on your hands...” said Lisa.
“I’ve handled angry mobs before. Remember when the babysitter thought I sexually harassed her by touching her butt but I was actually just grabbing my gummy Venus de Milo she accidentally sat on?” said Homer.
“Yes dad...” said Lisa.
That night the Simpsons were watching TV when the saw a line of small flames marching down the street.
“What funny lights.” said Homer. But the flames were torches of an angry Mob.
“Oh no! An anger mob!” Marge gasped.
“I wonder what they want?” Homer asked as the watched the angry mob gather outside their house from the bedroom window.
“Kill Homer! Kill Homer! Kill Homer!” The townsfolk chanted.
“They want to kill this Homer...” said Homer.
“They want you dad...” said Bart. “Look they’re even burning an effigy...”
A straw doll of Homer was burnt.
“That reminds me of that time Hugo ran away from home and went feral.” said Oscar remembering the events of Bad Lisa, particularly at the end where Hugo made a Lisa effigy to burn and they all played folk band music with musical instruments and Feral Hugo chased the cat like a dog would.
“They’re trying to get in!” Lisa explained as the angry mob tried to break down the door.
“Don’t make us come in there!” Moe yelled.
“Oh no! We’ll be torn apart! Like self esteem at dinner with an Italian mother!” Homer yelled.
“No we just want Homer!” said Apu in the mob.
“Don’t worry. My dad won’t let the mob take me.” said Homer.
“I’m in the angry mob! Kill my no good son!” Grampa yelled carrying a torch.
“Grrrrr! I’ll take you with me old man!” Homer yelled.
“Well the mob has spoken! Hand over Dad...” said Bart quick to betray his dad.
“Bart no!” Marge told him off. “We maybe absolutely furious with your dad right now but families stick together no matter what!” said Marge. She addressed the crowd trying to get into her house. “We’re sorry but we won’t let you harm Homer.”
“Then you die with him!” said Willie in a strong accent as he set fire to the house with his torch. The house quickly went up.
“Oh no!” Lisa lamented. They got trapped by a wall of fire.
“Oh great. We’re gonna die!” Bart whined.
“No we’re not!” said Marge. “Some one has a heroic plan right?”
“Already on it.” said Oscar. He was scribbling in his doodle monster book and ripped out a page and threw it and his Dolpha plushie up into the air. In a flash a cartoon dolphin appeared.
“Dolpha!” Oscar cooed as he rode on the dolphin. “Use water gun!”
The dolphin sprayed water from his mouth at the flames and they went out. As the flames died a tiny living flame escaped into Bart’s room and climbed onto his desk where his homework was. For once he finished it.
“Oh no my homework!” Bart whined as Oscar and Dolpha were putting out the flames.
“Hmmmmmm.... only 799 words to go! Mehehehehe!” said the flame that strangely sounded like Mudboy. He burnt up Bart’s homework.
“Noooooooo!” Bart screamed.
“Oh don’t be so melodramatic Bart...” Marge sighed.
“Cool! That cartoon fire sounded just like Mudboy!” said Oscar.
“Yeah sure...” said the cartoon flame as he was eating a plank of wood.
“Come on! We have an escape route to Bart’s treehouse!” said Lisa.
“Okay but do not touch my comics or my booger wall!” said Bart as they headed for his bedroom window and opened it up. They climbed out into the treehouse one by one.
The Simpsons and Oscar were crowded into Bart’s treehouse. As Bart warned he had left it in a mess. The was a pool of standing water with flies buzzing round it that was once some spilt Krusty Os. On a wall facing the house was a wall of boogers and snot smooshed and spattered across the wooden planks of the treehouse.
“Eeeeew! Bart!” Lisa groaned.
“We could try climbing across to Flanders!” said Lisa.
“Don’t be silly, why would Flanders risk his life to an angry mob to help us?” said Homer.
“The lord says love my neighbour! Come on!” said Ned offering them help.
Bart went first.
“But Ned, they’ll kill you for helping us!” said Bart.
“Yes we will!” said Mel in the mob.
“Oh well! I couldn’t live with myself if I let my bestest neighbours be torn apart by an angry mob.” said Ned.
As Bart crawled across the tree branch he used the other night to get to Ned’s and grab the cocoa an arrow whizzed past.
Skinner and several students of Springfield Elementary were aiming short bows at him.
“Thank goodness our school has an active archery club! Fire on my command children!” said Principal Skinner.
Bart gulped and quickly withdrew into his treehouse.
“Hey look! Toon Link!” said Oscar as Toon Link was in the school archery club too.
Suddenly the treehouse shook.
“What’s going on?” Homer asked.
“They’re trying to shake us out of the treehouse!” said Lisa.
Maggie saw the sand pit and pointed to it.
“No Maggie, there’s no time to play.” said Marge.
Maggie frowned unable to communicate with them. However she fell out of Marge’s arms during the shaking and fell into the sinkhole. The Simpsons gasped as she vanished.
“That’s it! The sinkhole!” said Lisa. “Everyone jump!”
They jumped into the sink hole one by one.
“Geronimo!” Bart yelled as he jumped in.
“Sacajawea!” Lisa yelled as she jumped in.
“Pocahontas!” Oscar yelled as he jumped in.
“I heard tha-mmmmmmphllll!” Lisa yelled as the sand swallowed her up.
Hugo rolled his eyes as he jumped.
Homer was last and after a tearful goodbye to Spider Pig he jumped in but got stuck up to his waist. “Oh crap!” he whined.
“Oh great! Homer’s fat butt got him stuck...” Oscar sighed as they stood outside the dome in the forest. Oscar got out Jumanji and hacked a clue into the magic orb. “Beware the ground on which you stand, it is quicker than the sand.”
Jumanji turned the sandbox into quicksand and Homer started sinking.
“Woohoo!” Homer cheered. “I’ve never been happier to be sinking in quicksand! Hmmmm... since this is a movie I always wanted to do this.” He gave the angry mob the double middle fingers. “Eat this Losers!”
“Dad no! You’ll make the director angry!” Lisa yelled.
“Right that’s it! You are so fired Homer!” said the director of the Simpsons as Homer vanished under the sand.
“Quick! His head is still showing! Let’s scratch him to pieces!” said Moe. They clawed at Homer’s scalp as he vanished still giving them the middle fingers salute.
The Simpsons stood outside the dome and watched as the sink hole got bigger and swallowed up the treehouse and their house spitting out broken debris everywhere.
“Well there goes our house...” said Homer.
Colin was sadly pressed against the wall of the dome looking out at Lisa.
Lisa pressed up against the other side of the dome to him.
He smiled and held up a page of lyrics and notes for a song.
Lisa tearfully smiled and played the notes on her saxophone.
“Ha! Lisa has a boyfriend she’ll never see again!” Bart taunted her. Lisa punched him knocking him out.
“That felt good...” said Lisa.
Suddenly there were sirens and blue lights. The Simpsons and Oscar ran into the forest. Russ Cargill and the EPA and Springfield police arrived too late.
“Damn! They escaped!” Russ Cargill ranted. “I want those Simpsons captured and back inside the dome! Dead or alive! And I want tough guys stationed around the dome! And angry dogs! And snipers! And then I want a hundred soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And I want them arranged like so! Tough, soft, tough, soft...”
“Sir, don’t you think you might be just going mad with power?” an EPA goon asked.
“Probably. But what’s the point going mad without power? You scream and shout but no one will listen to you!” said Russ Cargill.
The Simpsons and Oscar found themselves at a sleazy motel somewhere.
Marge was buying stuff from a vending machine when she almost got caught by the cops, but the two police officers that got out weren’t interested in arresting her on Russ Cargill’s orders, they were more interested in making out as they snogged in the corner.
“Eeeeew!” Marge groaned.
The Simpsons and Oscar were hiding out from the authorities.
“I can’t believe it! We have no home! We’re on the run from the authorities!” Marge sighed. “Bart! Are you drinking?!”
Bart was drinking a bottle of whiskey. “I’m troubled okay! I’ll quit tomorrow...”
“No you’ll stop right now Mister! Gimme that!” Marge tried to confiscate the bottle but Bart ran away around the motel room with the bottle in his mouth trying to drink it as quickly as possible. “Bart this isn’t funny! Gimme that!”
Bart clonked into the chest of drawers and knocked himself out. “I wish Flanders was my dad! There I said it!” He said clearly drunk.
“Where’s your father?” asked Marge.”
“Out gathering supplies. Let’s leave and start a new life without him before he gets back!” said Lisa bitter at Homer for wrecking the environment.
“Lisa! That’s a terrible thing to say!” said Marge.
“Honey it’s me! I’m doing the secret knock!” said Homer. Marge let him in.
“This horrible! No home! I’ve had to leave my boyfriend and now Bart’s drunk!” Lisa wailed curled up into a ball on the bed.
“What?!” Homer gasped.
Bart was drunk with sunken eyelids and pink eyes mumbling a drunken song. The lyrics sounded like don’t worry be happy.
“Right that’s it! So you like drinking boy?! I’m gonna pour so much alcohol down your throat you’ll never want to drink again! Come on! I’m finding a bar out here!” Homer dragged the drunk Bart off somewhere.
“Homer no! We have to remain hidden!” Marge explained.
Lisa is trying to meditate.
The angry motel owner came in. He was angry and Italian so he had a knife. “Your check bounced! I choppa your face!” He sliced at Homer.
“Well I hope you chopped me better than that lasagna you made... Oh... I seem to be missing part of my ear. Touché.” said Homer. The owner nicked part of his ear with his knife.
The Simpsons were kicked out.
“Don’t worry. Here’s my back up plan! We’re going to... Alaska!” said Homer unfolding a poster of Alaska over his window screen of his car.
“Dad how are we gonna afford to move to Alaska...” said Bart.
“We’ll stop off at that country fair and win some money off some over confident carnie.” said Homer.
They were at a county fair. A carnival man offered them three rides in his ball of death motorcycle stunt thing for ten dollars. If they won they could have his van and enough money to move to Alaska.
Homer paid and went on the ride.
“D’oh!” Homer fell off.
“You fell off...(Homer screams.) and again... and that was your third try,,, but since I’m a sporting man I’ll give you another go...” said the carnival man.
“Dad, when you get to the top don’t slow down!” Lisa yelled.
“But that’s the scariest bit!” Homer whined.
“Just don’t!” said Lisa.
Homer expertly did several revolutions inside the ball of death.
The Simpsons cheered as they won.
“Oh great. My wives are gonna kill me...” said the carnival man sadly.
We cut over to some Siamese twins with a shared pair of legs but individuals from the waist upwards.
Hugo purred seductively. “Woo hubba hubba! My kind of woman!”
“You stop that now!” Bart yelled at Hugo for continuing his foolishness.
Meanwhile Springfield was coping without the Simpsons. They were bickering over who got to do the couch gag. Everyone in Springfield were fighting over who got to sit in the couch.
“Well, at least Bart is no longer disrupting the class and everyone’s learning...” said Mrs Krabappel.
“Well, at least Lisa isn’t hogging all the questions and not giving anyone else a chance to learn by their mistakes and wrong answers.” said Miss Hoover.
“Oh God! What have I done! I’m almost out of business!” Moe cried that his best customer was gone.
“Hey, we’re customers too Moe.” said Carl. “And Homer was actually rather unpleasant to drink with.”
“And productivity at work is up now that he’s no longer around to goof off.
The Simpsons drove to Alaska.
“Homer! You can’t drive with the poster over the window! Gimme that!” Marge took the poster. Homer groaned.
They arrived in Alaska. Homer was at their new lodge talking to Marge.
“Look even the boy is giving me a round of applause!” said Homer.
Bart was smirking deviously as he clapped slowly and deliberately in a certain rhythm. He was dressed up in his winter clothes from Simpsons roasting on an open fire when he yanked off Homer’s Santa beard.
“Bart what are you doing?” Lisa asked him but he didn’t answer. Instead he continued clapping.
Eventually this caused an avalanche. Snow buried Homer in the lodge trapping him and Marge.
Some time later Homer and Marge dug themselves out but they were in their pyjamas and clearly had gone mad like Homer and Mr Burns did.
“I keep telling you Ice Queen! Your evil Nazi snowmen are no match for my powers! My political powers!” Homer ranted crazy from being stuck in the lodge. An imaginary Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Mao Zedong, Gandhi and Rameses were jeering at Marge.
“Oscar no! No silliness!” Bart whined.
“Well that was a nightmarish two hours...” Marge sighed. “But we’re free now...”
On the cliff Bart was on was a polarchuck yodelling. “(High pitched cartoon yodelling)”
An avalanche buried all of them!
“Stupid cartoon polar bear cub...” Homer groaned.
That evening they managed to dig themselves out of the snow and got the fire on as they relaxed in their lodge.
“I hope Hugo’s alright out there...” said Marge looking out the window as it was snowing.
“He’ll be fine...” said Homer.
We cut to Hugo stuck upside down by his feet from the ceiling of a Wampa’s ice cave.
“How did this happen?!” Hugo frowned at the fourth wall.
The wampa roared at him.
The next day Hugo miraculously was back at the lodge with his family. They were out with Homer going somewhere.
“Where are we going Dad?” Bart asked.
“Shut up and keep walking...” said Homer. They came to an Alaskan Indian’s tent. Inside was a fat Alaskan Indian woman/native Alaskan.
Homer spoke to her in Alaskan.
“Dad... Who is that woman? And how do you know her...” said Bart.
“She’s my spirit guide and my financial advisor.” said Homer.
“Homer you’re bankrupt again...” said the Native Alaskan woman.
“Do’h!” said Homer.
“Can you help us? Our town got trapped under a dome?” Lisa asked the native Alaskan woman.
“I’m afraid not. But I can make a very spicy soup!” said the Alaskan Indian.
“Psssh! We’ll see how spicy it is...” Homer thought he could handle her spicy soup easily and took a big gulp. But suddenly his face turned red and he sweated before screaming and breathing fire.
Bart laughed. “You should join Springfield’s next chillis cook off. If there ever is another chillis cook off...”
“I can send you on a quest to help you. You must go the forest of fear...” said the Alaskan Indian.
“Why does it sound so ominous...?” Marge asked.
“Well we better get supplies first before we go on any adventures!” said Homer.
The Simpsons went to the shops in town. But unfortunately for them there was a wanted poster of them put up. They were fugitives now! Luckily the shopkeeper didn’t recognise them and probably didn’t even know he had a wanted poster of them in his shop.
“We need diapers.” said Marge paranoid.
“Okay.” The shopkeeper fetched a packet of diapers.
“No we don’t! We need... ladies shavers!” said Marge.
“Yes we do need diapers! Maaarge...” Oscar whined. “I’m getting a diaper rash and I’m fed up with sitting in my own crap!” Oscar fidgeted in a messy diaper under his shorts.
“Eeeeeeew!” Lisa groaned.
“Oscar language!” Marge scolded him as the shopkeeper fetched shavers for a lady.
“No wait. We’re European!” said Marge.
“European?!” The shopkeeper asked.
“Yes we need lots and lots of beef jerky!” said Marge.
Oscar groaned in agony from his diaper rash and stinky diaper.
While he wasn’t looking Bart vandalised then wanted poster of the Simpsons. Giving himself blue eyebrows like Milhouse and sticking out teeth. Lisa an eyepatch, Homer a moustache and some hair and Marge a big scribble for her beehive and Maggie some blue long hair.
The shopkeeper came back and checked his wanted poster and gasped when he saw a family matching the changes Bart made. Ie his counterpart with blue eyebrows and sticking out teeth.
“You!” The shopkeeper gasped pointing at the as I shall call them, the Sampsons. They gasped. Meanwhile the Simpsons had already escaped.
The Simpsons got the local coach home. Bart was climbing in the overhead luggage area.
“Bart what are you doing?” Marge asked.
“Going through people’s things.” said Bart. He put a black bra on his head and pretended to be Mickey Mouse.
“Hoho! I am the mascot of an evil corporation! Hoho!” said Bart.
Oscar laughed. “Now do Donald Duck!”
“No.” said Bart putting the bra away.
Meanwhile Bart was being watched, by Disney!
“Right that’s it! We’re buying Fox!” said Michael Eisner.
“But sir! We already own George Lucas, Marvel and Pixar.” said a corporate executive.
“We must own everything! That’ll teach the Simpsons to make fun of us!” said Michael Eisner. “But let us ask our master what to do. Oh masterful one who’s name we take as our own... what shall we do?”
“Buy Fox.” said Walt Disney’s head in a jar.
The Simpsons drove to the forest of fear with their supplies.
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” The kids chanted repeatedly.
“NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!” Homer screamed.
“How about now?” Bart asked.
“NO!” Homer screamed.
Eventually they did arrive. They came to a dark eerie forest.
“Oooooh! Spooky!” said Homer. They came to a foggy clearing.
“You should have really bought diapers! Not only to alleviate my suffering of having to walk about carrying my own crap in a soiled diaper but also Maggie’s well being. What if she needs to-“ however Oscar never got to finish what he was saying because they were grabbed by trees like in Homer’s weird trance in the canon version of the movie.
The Simpsons screamed as woody arms from evil living trees grabbed them.
The arms took to beating the crap out of Homer.
“Uh isn’t this supposed to be a metaphor for Dad running away from his problems and not accepting his fault for all this?” Lisa asked struggling as the branches or arms of the monster trees held her.
“Yeah but I didn’t get this scene so now we’re being terrorised by monster trees and I’m gonna have a panic attack because I am severely frightened of that monster tree from the Care Bears movie!” said Oscar. He screamed hysterically in fear.
“Also Mother Nature is seriously mad at your Dad right now!” said Teddy, Oscar’s living teddy bear also being held by the wooden arms of the evil trees.
“Let me go you overgrown toothpicks!” Bart grunted as the tree arms held him.
some wooden arms were holding diapers.
“Phew! At last.., a clean diaper...” Oscar sighed.
“Oz why don’t you just use the toilet like a normal kid?! Hey we don’t wanna wear diapers! Leggo!” Bart sighed and yelled because the trees were trying to disrobe him to put a diaper on him.
Bart had the indignity of being disrobed in front of his family and the tree branch arms putting a diaper on him.
Oscar, Hugo and Lisa laughed at him. However they stopped laughing once the trees decided to disrobe and diaper them too.
Bart fought angrily with the tree branches holding him. So they spanked him with paddles. “Ow! Ouch! Yeeow!” He was tearful as the tree’s wooden arms took him off somewhere wearing just a diaper.
“Where are they taking him?” Marge asked.
The wooden arms of the evil trees took Bart to an area of a tree trunk with several knotholes. They held him flat on his back against the tree trunk where the knotholes were. Bart winced as amber coloured sap oozed out and engulfed his hands. Then from two knotholes near his feet sap oozed out like treacle and covered his feet. He struggled and squirmed but to no avail the sap was very gooey.
“Mom!” Lisa whined as wooden tendril tied her up fully coiled around her like a Burmese python as it took her somewhere.
“Let them go!” Marge yelled.
Oscar was disrobed and diapered like Bart and stuck in tree sap by his hands and feet. Suddenly grey cartoon squirrels from Grim Adventures scuttled up to him and sniffed his diaper with their big wet shiny black noses. Oscar winced and wet himself.
Meanwhile Springfield under the dome was still coping with being under a dome. Comic book guy decided he was now emperor of Springfield. He was at the mayor’s podium talking but no one listened to him as they lived a Mad Max style existence with makeshift leather and spiked clothes and cobbled together death cars like Twisted Metal.
Meanwhile Russ paced angrily up and down Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Office.
“Damn those Simpsons! They’ll pollute the whole planet if I don’t catch them and put them back under the dome!” Russ ranted.
“About that. What else are you gonna do apart from keeping everyone in a glass dome...” said Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“Nothing, you’re making that choice Governor. Pick a folder.” said Russ with a malicious grin and handing out five more folders like last time. Arnold picked the middle one.
“Russ laughed evilly as he read it. “Excellent idea Governor! Mwuhahahaha!” The plan inside the folder was to blow up Springfield killing everyone inside the dome!
In the scary forest Hugo after the trees disrobed and diapered him he broke free by biting their wooden arms (Branches) he the slid down a slithering wooden branch that was trying to grab him. However he ran out of tree branch to slide down on his feet Tarzan style and fell with a splat into a bog of bubbling sinky mud.
“Ugh! I’m sinking!” He stated, thanks captain Obvious... as he wriggled and sunk in the quicksand like mud.
“Hugo don’t struggle! You’ll sink faster!” said Lisa.
“Well got any bright ideas?! Ungh! Get me outta this gunk!” Hugo grunted as he sunk deeper.
The wooden tree branch arms pulled him out of the bog mud and rested him on the banks of the mud bog.
“Hehehe! Mucky mud!” Oscar giggled as the grey squirrels carried him off somewhere.
The Simpsons were worried about him but were busy running away from the tree branches trying to grab them.
Hugo was trying to wipe off the mud he was partially covered in from that quicksand bog.
Then they encountered green curious bear cubs from Happy Little elves. The bear cubs sniffed them. The particularly wanted to sniff Bart’s diaper.
Bart grimaced and backed away as a bear cub sniffed him.
Meanwhile Baby Oscar giggled as a cartoon squirrel sniffed his diaper with its big wet shiny black nose. He honked the squirrel’s nose. It sniffed him again and again. Then the squirrel smooshed its nose into his nose, then sniffed his diaper again.
Oscar was then shrunk by magic.
The squirrel sniffed him so he planted his hands up its nose. Splat! He gurgled and tugged at a gooey slime, snot basically.
The squirrel yelled and tried pulling him out of the gooey snot.
Meanwhile Bart was tormented by cartoon green bear cubs sniffing his crotch with their big wet shiny green noses and Lisa was discussing her boyfriend Colin again. It was a far more cheerful topic to her than lamenting the mess Dad had got them in.
“Oh oh oh! And he talks with an Irish brogue!” said Lisa rolling her rs and saying brogue in a heavy Irish accent.
“Why was he talking like some heavy Oxford shoes?” Hugo still very muddy from the quicksand asked. “What? My dictionary says brogue means leather or a heavy type of shoe! Bleh! I hate shoes!”
“Shut up freak!” Homer yelled.
“Hugo you’re the one who brought up shoes. And it also means a heavy accent....” said Lisa.
“Someone stop these perverted overgrown teddy bears sniffing my doodle!!” Bart cried as the Curious bear cubs sniffed his crotch.
Lisa shooed the green cartoon bears away.
Marge sobbed. Lamenting the situation she found the family in, on the run, the entire town hates them. The entire town trapped under a glass dome.
”Awww... Honey...” Homer comforted her.
”Don’t you honey me!” Marge said sharply through tears. “This is all your fault Homer! You and that filthy pig! You polluted the lake with pig faeces! Now the town is trapped under a dome and hates us! We’ve become ostracised from our friends and everyone we love!” Marge ranted tearfully.
”Mmmmmmmmmmm!” Homer started a “Mmmmm!” Moan of Joy but,,,
”Homer I swear! If you say something stupid like ‘Mmmmmm! Ostrich eyes!’ I am leaving you stranded in this forest. I mean it!” Marge yelled.
Homer screamed and whimpered. Keeping his mouth shut. For now.
A green cartoon bear cub sniffed Bart’s diaper with his big wet shiny green nose.
”Knock it off!” Bart yelled shoving the bear cub away. But the lustful bear cub liked sniffing his diaper.
Oscar was in the squirrel den inside a tree letting a cartoon grey squirrel sniff his diaper with its big wet shiny black nose. He gurgled wriggling his feet as it sniffed his diaper.
”Oscar has a point, this is our movie! We should make it special by singing!” said Lisa.
”No! No singing! That is so cliched!” said Matt Groening.
The Simpsons sung. They probably sung something like The Bear Necessities, or Be Our Guest or A Whole New World.
”A whole new woooooooorld!” Lisa sung.
Meanwhile the town of Springfield under a dome changed. Martin was now a bully, they were running out of power so Skinner, Dr Hibbert and Wiggum had to beg Mr Burns for more electricity. But he asked them to give him a reason why. If he didn’t accept their reasons he’d release the hounds on them. Which he did.
And Moe decided he was king of Springfield now but no one would listen to him.
Eventually Oscar reunited with the Simpsons and they escaped the not very spooky forest of shiny nosed squirrels and bear cubs that sniff you pervertedly. They got dressed back into their clothes. Oscar wanted to stay there for the rest of the chapter getting his diaper sniffed by the cartoon squirrels but the Simpsons said no.
They soon arrived at an ice cave. The control set up menu theme from Star Fox/Star Wing was playing because it sounds wintery.
There was nothing of interest except a Wampa beast from Star Wars putting up his Christmas decorations. And...
”Loooook!” said Lisa. Trapped in the wall of ice at the back of the ice cave was Jasper a Beardly as a Viking. “A Viking?”
“A Viking that looks suspiciously like Jasper the old bearded guy...” said Hugo.
”Shut up freak!” Homer snapped.
”No you shut up! You got us kicked out of our home! You polluted a lake!” Oscar yelled.
Hugo saw their was writing on a plaque frozen in the ice with the Viking. “Dagger Blood. It’s a warning to never, ever disturb him! Obviously if I’ve learnt anything from watching the Mummy, it’s don’t disturb or wake up beings frozen or mummified in unusual places. They were locked away and forgotten for a reason... because they’re dangerous if awoken...” said Hugo. “He seems to be rather dangerous and have delusions of taking over by force. We should just leave him....”
”This a great place to leave my beers.” said Homer. Because it was very, very cold.
”Let’s move on, even I’m feeling chilly.” said Hugo shivering.
They encountered the Alaskan Indian woman who was Homer’s financial advisor and group therapist.
”Pay me!” She yelled.
Homer throat sung to her. Throat singing is a thing in Alaska.
”Comgratulations, you have proven yourselves worthy that you can take back your home of Springfield.” said the Alaskan Indian lady. “I’m sorry you felt like you hadn’t achieved anything but you have! Despite your weird little friend’s obsession with cartoon bear cubs with shiny noses...”
Oscar frowned. “I wike silly shiny nosed bear cubs!”
The Simpsons returned to their cabin where Marge got animals to, Snow White charms the animals to do house work thing to decorate the master bedroom for sexy time.
“Shoo! Shoo!” She shooed out the animals once they were finished. However the animals attacked Homer for polluting the lake.
Outside the kids were playing in the snow, having a snowball fight when Relinquished from Yugioh appeared, and the thousand eyes idol.
”Twisted tails... a thousand eyes...” said Oscar.
Thousand eyes idol polymerisation/fused with relinquished to form Thousand Eyes Restrict.
”Oh great we’re screwed...” said Hugo.
”No we’re not! I summon Magician of black chaos!” Oscar summoned magician of black chaos. “Deus ex machina ass pull!”
Magician of black chaos destroyed Thousand Eyes restrict via the magic of lazy writing or ass pulling, 4kids....“
“Okay.... since when was Magician of Black chaos a horribly broken card...” said Bart.
That night though The Simpsons got wind of what Russ, the main antagonist of the movie, was planning to next with Springfield.
”Bart, you’re 24 hours sober, I’m so proud of you...” said Marge. “You are sober right...?”
”Not any more, mom!” He gulped down a bottle of beer he got from somewhere.
Marge sighed exasperated.
”Gimme that!” Lisa snatched his beer. “Kids are not supposed to drink!”
“Yeah but it’s funny Bart drinking....” said Oscar snatching back the beer and giving it to Bart to finish.
Lisa growled and stormed off to her room.
”Shhhhh! The news is on! Oooooh! Tom Hanks!” said Homer.
”Hello I’m Tom Hanks. And this is the Grand Canyon.” Tom Hanks was at the Grand Canyon. And not being Forrest Gump.... “But are you bored of seeing the same old canyon?”
A family arrived at the Grand Canyon.
”Well, here we are, kids! The Grand Canyon.” said a father to his kids.
”It’s boring...” said the son.
”We want to see something else...” said the daughter.
”Hohohoho!” Tom Hanks went on about Fox losing its credibility so it borrowed some from him.
Homer then saw someone familiar on the commercial about the Grand Canyon. It was himself but a few years younger. He was with his family except the mutant or Oz. However to Homer’s annoyance Flanders and his family were there.
”Fresh air and exercise my foot... Bart! Don’t you dare try to push your sister into the Grand Canyon!” said Young Homer.
”Oh this is from Fland Canyon, where we all went to the Grand Canyon...” said Homer.
”Shhhh! Tom Hanks is speaking!” said Marge.
Then it hit them. Tom explained a new canyon was being made at exactly where Springfield was by blowing it up! Killing everyone inside.
”Oh my goodness!” Marge gasped.
”That’s horrible!” Lisa gasped.
”Uh Dad.... say something...” Bart noticed Homer didn’t care.
”Screw Springfield! We’re Alaskan now!” said Homer.
”Homer! That’s our home and friends!” Marge gasped.
”Friends don’t Chase you out of your house at 4 in the afternoon with pitchforks and torches!” Homer replied.
”We were chased out at 7 at night...” said Marge.
“It was during Access Hollywood!” said Homer.
”Which is on at 4 and 7.” Marge explained.
“Dad how can you turn your back on the people that love us?!” Lisa gasped.
“Flanders helped when we were in trouble!” said Bart sharply.
“Who the hell cares?! He’s not your dad!” said Homer.
”I wish he was!” Bart snapped.
Homer gasped. “You take that back! You worship me!”
”Look what I drew on our family photo!” Bart had drawn Flanders’s face over Homer’s. “How dilly do diddly! How dilly doo diddly! How-“
”Why you little! I’ll strangle angle you!” Homer strangled Bart.
”Diddly diddly!” said Bart gasping as Homer squeezed his neck.
”Bart enough. I’ll handle this.” said Marge. Homer released Bart and the kids gave Mom and Dad space to have a frank talk.
I know your dad is being selfish right now, but surely you don’t want to be a geek like Flanders...” said Oscar.
”It’s better than growing up to be a jerk like Homer.” said Bart. “That’s right! I am so mad I’m not calling him Dad anymore...”
”That’s a fair point, Bart. Even we have bickered a bit in this entire movie.” said Lisa.
”Bart’s just being Bart... that means getting on our nerves... it’s Dad that’s the jerk right now...” said Hugo.
The kids nodded and agreed.
”I have spoken! We’re not going back to Springfield! They can rot for all I care!” Homer insisted.
”Dad! We have to save Springfield!” Lisa yelled.
”No! We’re Alaskan now! We have a good home, the school’s not to far and no stupid Flanders!” said Homer sharply.
Bart held a photograph of Ned in a picture frame over his face and kept mocking Homer by going “Diddly Diddly! Diddly diddly! Diddly diddly!”
Homer growled! “That’s it! I have spoken and I say we are staying here! Now no more talk about Springfield! I mean it! Not one word!” Homer yelled in his Walter Matthau voice. “I’m going to our new local bar, Eski-Moe’s.” He stormed off and drove into town.
Homer was at the local tavern drinking and playing Grand Theft Walrus.
”What did you do to my legs?! You Nazi walrus bastard!” came dialogue from the video game.
Homer returned to the shack to find his family gone. “Marge? Bart? Lisa? Maggie? Oz? The Freak? Anyone?”
There was a note. “Homer if your reading this alone it’s because we went back to Springfield to save it. Sorry you’re too selfish to care... goodbye forever... Oh and to show I’m serious. I’ve taped over our wedding tape...”
“Nooooooooo!” Homer screamed.
The rest of his family were on a coach to Seattle.
”Seattle! Nahahahaha!” Oscar laughed hysterically.
”Oz it’s not that funny...” Marge sighed. “Bart what are you doing with that bra on your head...”
“Hohohoho! I’m the mascot of an evil corporation! Hohohoho!” Bart was pretending to be Mickey Mouse...
Mickey lunged at him and strangled him...
”Once we get to Seattle we’ll get the coach to Springfield and pulverise Russ Cargill!” Hugo snapped making a fist.
”Shhhhhh!” Someone might be listening!” said Marge. “We’re fugitives remember?”
”Mom I doubt they’re listening in on a public bus....” said Lisa.
NSA agents were listening in.
”Yada yada... I should have bought cheese etc.”
”Having the in-laws round...”
”Mom I doubt they’re listening in on a public bus...”
“Got them!” said an NSA agent.
”Excellent!” said Russ Cargill. Mr Burns does it better...
”Administer the gas...” said Russ Cargill.
Meanwhile Homer went to see his financial advisor and therapist. The Alaskan Indian lady. She slapped him for being so selfish and said he needed to have an epiphany. She put him through training to find the truth, that he was a selfish self centred oaf who only cares about himself so he could learn other people mattered.
He drank burning hot soup that was too spicy, even for him! Practiced his throat singing and had a trance dream where in it he got beaten up by trees.
”Ow! Ow! Okay I’ll stop using toothpicks!” Homer cried.
The trees continued beating him up.
Young Link saw Homer being punched by trees and winced and backed away, upon seeing his tree uncles lash out at someone.
Meanwhile the bus sealed the Simpsons in.
”Uh?” Bart asked. It filled up with sleeping gas. “This bites...” said Bart as the Simpsons except Homer fell asleep from the gas.
However Oscar had Nanobots that could form a breathing filter on him. Like Cooler’s face plate mask thing. The gas wouldn’t affect him.
”Sir we have the bus surrounded!” said an NSA agent.
”Good. Open it up!” said Russ.
”Yes Sir- Hold on, someone is still awake in there! And they’re cutting open the doors!” said an NSA agent as Oscar was cutting the doors open with a wielding torch.
”Suppress target immediately!” yelled Russ.
The NSA Agents cocked their guns ready to fire. But when the door fell down no one conscious was in the bus. Just the Simpsons sleeping.
The agents were curious and confused.
Suddenly a high tech gun whirred and beaded as it warmed up. The agents found themselves surrounded. Oscar holding a nigh tech machine gun had cloned himself.
”Suppress! Suppress!” Russ yelled.
The Agents fired on the Oscars but they gunned them all down. Once the smoke cleared, Oscar dismissed his surviving clones and grabbed Russ’s drone to speak to him.
”I hope you’ve left room for my fist Russ! Because I’m gonna shove it down your throat and rip out your goddamn spine!” Oscar snapped. Then he destroyed the drone, shutting off surveillance of that region.
”Shit!” Russ swore.
Homer was on a motorcycle heading to Springfield via Seattle.
”Seattle! A hahahahaha!” He laughed.
He arrived at a massacre as Oscar was waking up his family.
”What the hell happened here?!” Homer asked finding dead men in Kevlar vests everywhere.
Bart woke up, then Lisa, Marge, Hugo and Maggie.
”Dad you returned!” said Lisa.
”Yes dear. I had some time to myself and a good kicking from my financial advisor and wise woman. But I’m here by your side to help save Springfield.” said Homer.
”Yeah, well the thing is Dad, maybe we’re not ready to forgive you...” said Bart.
”Oh! But I’m sorry! I really am! Tell the kids I’m sorry, Marge!” Homer whined.
”You have to sing that your sorry!” said Oscar.
Homer sighed. He sung Sorry seems to be the hardest word by Elton John.
They drove the bus back to Springfield it was still under the dome.
”People of Springfield!” said Russ Cargill’s giant hologram.
“Look it’s the giant ugly fave again!” yelled Cleatus.
”Shut up!” said Russ. “Because the Simpsons wouldn’t be like good rats or should I say carrots and stay put. Because rats can escape so carrots is a better analogy.... I have no choice but to kill you all with this bomb...”
Everyone gasped as a bomb was lowered into the dome. It was a digital count down one.
Meanwhile Oscar drove Frink’s droll machine into the dome. A guard got in the way. “Hey jackass! Screw yoooooouuuu!” He references Total Recall where Arnold killed a guy with a drill.
The EPA guard screams as he is drilled to death and blood splatters on Frink’s drilling machine as it breaks through the dome.
Springfielders watch as the dome shatters.
”We’re free!” said Lenny.
”And no one was hurt!” said Wiggum.
Dr Nick was crushed by a big chunk of glass from the dome.
”Goodbye Everybody...” said Dr Nick. He uh died. He’ll be back in season 19.
Homer arrived on the terminator’s motorbike.
”Look! It’s Homer! Get him!” Moe yelled.
”No! Disarm the bomb first!” said Bart. He grabbed the bomb and tried to disarm it but didn’t know how to and didn’t want to set it off. The remaining time was barely seconds before oblivion.
Oscar tapped a button on it and successfully disarmed it. Ironically it stopped on 0:07 or 007. James Bond music played.
”Okay now we kill Homer!” said Moe.
”Hop on!” Homer screamed and got on his motorbike and Bart got on and they left.
”I’m sorry I said I wanted Ned to be my dad.” said Bart.
“That’s okay.” said Homer.
Russ was at the end of the road.
”So we meet at last, whoever you are...” said Homer.
”There are two things they don’t teach you in the CIA. How to handle defeat and how to fire a gun. I’m doing both right now.” said Russ pointing his gun at them.
”Nice try....” said Oscar quickly pointing his gun at Russ.
”Stalemate. Damn...” said Russ.
”Wait, we haven’t told you where to find the treasure of Iamawiener!” said Bart.
”I am a wiener?!” said Russ.
Everyone laughed at him.
”Damn! You distracted m-aaaaagh!” Russ yelled but Oscar shot him dead.
”Did you have to kill him...” Bart frowned at him.
”Yes...” said Oscar. “He was gonna kill you...”
And so everyone helped rebuild the town. Eventually they all forgave Homer and there was a climax and a musical finale with singing or if this was Disney everyone celebrating as the movie draws to a close.
”I’m uh not good with writing movie adaptations....” said Oscar. “Except that time I wrote the Digimon Movie. That was cool...” said Oscar.
”Oh well, let’s party! Oh yeah!” said Duffman.
And they partied.
And lived happily ever after... The end!