Simpsons Fanon

The Simpsons Go Bananas The Simpsons go on a road trip with Mr Teeny in a small car called Herbie. There is also madness and Dame Shirley Bassey cameos, along with Matt Lucas as Dame Shirley Bassey.


The couch gag is someone decorating a cake by squeezing the cream on it into the shapes of a Homer, A Marge and the kids, in cake topping cream.


The School bus one afternoon drive back home from School. Bart is pretending to be a teacher, teaching about water balloons and filling them with liquids and semi liquids.

“Welcome to lecture number eight on the water balloon.” said Bart with a miniature blackboard from a kindergarten on the bus with him. On it in chalk said “Water Balloons.”

“Yesterday I asked everyone to think of other liquids you could fill a balloon with.”

“Water?” Milhouse asked.

Nelson punched him in the stomach. He groaned.

“Thank you, Nelson. Anyone else?” Bart asked.

“Hot sauce.” said Kearney.

“Kearney, that could blind someone....” said Bart doing hand gestures while lecturing him on his suggestion as if to say “Well that was rather dumb... and here’s why...” “You get an A.” Hmmmmm! He liked that idea! “Anyone else? Yes Oscar...”

”Treacle?” Oscar put his hand up.

”Whoooooaaa hohohoho! And a humiliating hair cut afterwards! Excellent Oz! You get an A+!” said Bart impressed.

Kearney groaned. “Oooooooh!”

”Lis, what is Bart doing?” Hugo asked, peaking up from his book to look down the bus.

”Beats me... I really don’t care Hugo...” said Lisa.

“Mmm. Now for a practical demonstration.” said Bart setting up some elastic rubber to catapult things. “First, we load the ordnance.” He holds a water balloon and pulls back the elastic. “Then select the target.” He aims at Otto. “Hmm, not Otto. He'd drive us off a cliff.”

“Off a cliff? That would solve everything.“ said Otto driving.

Bart sees Lisa as music plays. He chuckled. Bingo. He launches the green water balloon at her.

“B I N G O! B I N G- Eccccccckkkkk Aaaaccccccck!” Ralph sung until Oscar throttled him.

”Oz no! That’s Ralph! Chief Wiggum’s son!” Bart yelled pulling him off of Ralph.

”I don’t care if he’s the king of Siam! Don’t sing Bingo where I can hear you! It’s lame and gay!” Oscar ranted.

Lisa was reading “How to talk to a drunk father. Well it depends on if he’s a violent drunk.

The green water balloon hit Lisa on the back of her head and bursted. Splashing water all over her. She gasped.

“Baaaaaaart!“ she yelled. Bart laughed. Lisa ran down the bus and strangled him. Bart wheezed and gasped.

They then start fighting.

Kids cheer.

”Cooool! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Oscar cheers.

”Oz! You’re not helping!” Hugo told him off. “Sorry, but because Lisa is setting a bad example right now, I’ll have to be Mr Goody two shoes...”

Bart and Lisa strangling each other roll past Ralph.

“Why can't you be friends like me and Mr. Finger?” Ralph asked. He goes to pick his nose but pokes himself in the eye. “Ow!” He slaps his hand that poked him. “You've betrayed me for the last time....” He said to his hand and took out some scissors.

“Omg! No Ralph!” Oscar gasped.

“Horseplay on a school bus? Has the world gone mad?” Otto asked as he saw Bart and Lisa fight.

A horse neighs as Oscar is riding a horse on the school bus somehow...

“Oz no! Not that kind of Horseplay!” Otto groaned at his silliness.

Otto has enough of Bart and Lisa’s fight and slams on the brakes. “Your stop!” Bart and Lisa tumble off of the bus and in a fight cloud roll indoors. Oscar and Hugo arrive shortly afterwards.

Marge is about to open the door while holding Maggie but Bart and Lisa burst in rolling and startle her.

“Ahhh!” Marge yells and in shock throws Maggie.

Snowball is startled and meows, diving out the way as Maggie lands in her litter box. Eeeeeew!

”Alright! Break it up! Break it up!” Marge separates them.

“Shame on you! Shame on you two creeps!” Marge scolds Bart and Lisa.

”Marge I’m giving Maggie a bath...” said Homer taking Maggie who was covered in cat litter dust and possibly cat poop... upstairs.

“It's your fault for giving birth to my archenemy!” Bart yelled.

”How did Marge give birth to Sideshow- Oh I get it... sibling rivalry. Well you should save that line for Dame Judith Underdunk...” said Oscar.

Bart winced.

”At least I was planned!” Lisa yelled as she lunged at him.


“Stop it! No one was planned!” said Marge.

”Fine you win this round Simpson! But I will destroy you! If it’s the last thing I do!” Bart ranted as dramatic villain music played and the house mysteriously darkened.

”Bart stop acting like a TV villain.” said Marge sharply.

”Now we have to pack for Great Uncle Tyrone's birthday tomorrow in Dayton.“ said Marge.

”Did you say Dalton?” Oscar asked.

“Dayton, Ohio!” said Marge.

The kids groan.

“It's got Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and a zipper museum!” said Marge. “They have a zipper from every James Bond!”

We cut to James Bond in a bedroom trying to undo his flies while Pussy Galore lies on a bed.

“Ohssssshhhh No! Pusshy Galore! My Shhhhhhhzipper ishhhh Shhhhhtuck! Yesh!” James is having real trouble undoing his trouser zip. Pussy is getting bored.

“No Oz! No cutaways!” Bart whined.

”Why are we even going?“ Lisa asked.

“Last year, Uncle Tyrone was bitter and depressed.” said Marge.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to yoooooou!” Marge and Homer and other Simpsons including the ones Homer found when Lisa thought she had the Simpsons gene, sang.

”Why won't I die?!” Tyrone whined.

”We're staying at the Dayton Arms Hotel. It got three diamonds from Five Diamond magazine!” said Marge.

”Please don't make us go!” Bart whined. “If you make me get on that plane, I'll give myself diarrhea.” Eeeeeew! “I know how!”

”I told you not to let him read those Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter books...” said Homer.

Dino, Oscar’s baby Chomby, winced.

“Okay, don't go! Just stay here and rot with Grampa!” said Homer

”I'm only rotting on the right side!“ said Grampa.

“I'll right side you!” Homer snarled.

(HUGO GROWLING) Hugo growled.

”Yes my little monster face...” said Homer addressing Hugo.

“Don’t call him that either!” Oscar snapped.

“All right, kids. You don't have to go. But I insist we do something tonight as a family.” said Marge. “We'll play board games, put photos in an album, measure how much you've grown, and...”

“What is your deal, anyway?” said Bart suspiciously.

”Well, I... l... Let's just rent a movie....” said Marge.

The video store.

“Hmm. Mmm-hmm.” Moe was um... “Oh, yeah! That's the stuff!”





“Brideshead's gonna get revisited tonight, baby!”


Well surely you can imagine he’s clearly getting it on with someone.... Eeeeeeew!

Bart saw Moe go in the restricted adult section and moan aroused about something.

Bart gasped with joy and seeing his parents and snitch of a sister were inattentive and not paying attention to him he rubbed his hands with glee and laughed evilly as he went in there.

Bart looked in the door beads eager to see pornographic DVDs. But sighed disappointed as they were just obscure directors and unfunny Woody Allen.

”What were you thinking was in here...” Moe sighed as he left with DVDs.

”Boy what is so fascinating about- Aaaaaaaaaaaagh! Door beads! Stupid hippy door beads! Aaaaaagh!” Homer screamed at the sight of door beads and fled.

Bart winced.


”I'm sorry, sir. The computer says the movie Chocolate Star Wars doesn't exist.” said Squeaky Voiced Teen. Mmmmmm! Chocolate Star Wars...

”I say you don't exist!“ Homer snapped.

“No, I'm right here, under "Staff."” said Squeaky Voiced Teen pointing to his name badge.

“Not anymore!” Oscar said and snapped his fingers.

”Oh no! What’s happening to meeee!“ Squeaky Voiced Teen cried as he slowly faded from existence.

”Oz! Stop making people vanish from existence.“ Bart yelled.

”Okay kids, pick a movie.” said Homer.

”The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!” Oscar suggested holding that film.

”No Oz...” Homer sighed.

”Triple X hotties! Directors cut!” Bart wanted to watch a porno.

”No!” Homer yelled.

”Happy Little Elves and Captain SnaggleTooth’s treasure!” Lisa wanted a sappy movie.

”Bleh....” Bart retched in disgust.

”Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers Kiwi’s Big Adventure!” Oscar wanted an equally sappy DVD of Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers Episodes...

”Double Bleh....” Bart retched.

”Um no.... Oh look! A Ryan O’Neal and Jennifer Anniston Romcom! Where the girl fights for the guy’s love and affection and eventually wins his heart. Only to suddenly drop down dead!” said Homer.

”Oh! How interesting!” said Marge.

”Oh yeah it saved Paramount stocks etc.” said Carl.

”Oh a chick flick... say it ain’t so... Ho...” Bart whined. I demand the right to make fun of this! XD!

Oscar screamed. “Aaaaaaagh! Ho’s!” While carrying some garden Hoes while dressed as a pimp with several prostitutes following him.

Bart face palmed.

Later at home.

They all watch a sappy love film... “Eeeeeuuugh!” Oscar groaned at a romantic scene of kissing.

“Oz stop that!” Marge told him off.

“Eeeeeew! They’re kissing!!” Bart yelled in disgust.

“Bart! Boys and girls kiss when they’re grown up and in love...” said Marge.

“Or boys and boys. Or girls and girls.” said Oscar.

Homer growled angrily because he’s homophobic.

“Not me! I’m being a bachelor!” said Bart to Marge.

“What do we do with a 25 year old lady that’s just died?” Ryan O’Neal asked another character.

“Bury her! Before she starts to stink!” Bart yelled at the TV. As if it could hear him or respond...

”Bart!“ Marge yelled.

”The man asked a question...” Bart sighed.

There was sappy dialogue in the film. And Jennifer Anniston because she’s in every Romcom...

And Hugh Grant...

“Love means never having to say you're sorry.” said Ryan O’Neal.

”No, it doesn't. This movie is drivel. She's wooden and unpleasant.“ Lisa groaned.

“Lisa that’s a shop mannequin!” Oscar sighed.

“Oz don’t be stupid! I meant a Jennifer Anniston!” Lisa groaned.

”Oh...“ Oscar replied.

During the sappy love movie Marge and Homer are making me vomit profusely by being all romantic and soppy. I barf, the end...

“A whole canoe made of baloney?” Homer asked, dreaming.

”Mmmmmmm! Baloney canoe....” Oscar moaned and drooled.

Bart laughing as he mucks about with the remote.

”Bart, stop fooling with the remote!“ Homer yelled.

“Lisa made me with a witch's spell!” Bart whined.

“It's called Wicca, and it's empowering!” Lisa explained.

“And that’s why I’m making this episode season Twenty one and not fifteen Matt... to match up with after Lisa became a Wiccan...” said Oscar.

”Continuity! Deal with it!” said Comic Book Guy.

“Wicca's a Hollywood fad!” said Bart rudely.

“That's Kabbalah, jerk!” Lisa yelled. She lunged at him and strangled him.

“Why you Antisemetic whore! Don’t think I won’t manhandle a woman?!” Jurkle, Oscar’s ginger nerd Jewish friend yelled as throttled Lisa. Yes he throttled her!


“Jurkle no! You’re strangling a girl!” Oscar yelled.

Plot 2[]

Marge and Homer’s bedroom. Marge furiously gets packed for a vacation. Or to leave Homer hopefully. Nah it’s to leave with him on a vacation...

”(Muttering) Stupid kids... ruin everything! (Grumbling)” Marge packed her dresses.

“So you're not in the mood anymore, are you?” Homer asked, sat on the bed.

“Homie, you know I'm usually good for a triple-X throw-down.” said Marge.

The wrestler Triple X ran in and piledrived Marge.

“Ow! I meant S E X!” said Marge.

”Marge I don’t care how much of a special snowflake Transcriptsforeverdreaming is! I will say sex! sex! Sex! Seeeeeex!” Oscar added, singing the word sex repeatedly.

“No! Make him stop! Make him stop!” the website Transcriptsforeverdreaming cried.

“But between those kids and going to Uncle Tyrone's, we can't be alone.” said Marge.

”We're alone now.“ said Homer.

”You're never alone in this crap shack!” Bart could be heard from his bedroom.

“Why, you little...!” Homer punched straight through the bedroom wall to Bart’s room and strangled him. Bart yelled and gasped as he was choked.

”Bloody hell!” Rik Mayal as Rick from the Young Ones yelled. Vyvyan smashed through the wall and strangled him.


At an airport. Some guy coughed. Marge and Homer are going on vacation. In canon they are going to see Uncle Tyrone but then decide to have a second honeymoon instead.

The airport sign reads. “Springfield Airport. Now Air Marshall free!” Yeah that’s really useful if a terrorist Aloha Snackbars on the plane...

Homer and Marge are in a queue of Russian men... they are going to Dayton.

“What kind of an airline routes all their flights through Nome, Alaska?” Homer groaned.

”The Airline of Oz! And their CEO, The Nome King!” Oscar replied being moronic. He was there to narrate.

”No Oz...” Bart in a split screen gag from his bedroom groaned.

“Yes! Especially after Princess Mombi took over things!” Oscar insisted, being moronic.

“No Oz...” Bart groaned.

“It's their hub.” Marge sighed.

Marge looked up and saw something. “Homie, look at them.” (festive Holiday music playing) There was a line of young couples going on vacation for their honeymoons.

“Honeymooners...” Marge sighed.

“One of these days Alice! One of these days! Bam! Straight to the moon!” yelled Jackie Gleason as Ralph to his on screen wife Alice, implying domestic violence. They were in the line too! XD.

”No Oz! Dad make him stop...“ Bart whined.

”You’re not even going with us so shoo! Leave Oz and his madness alone!” Homer shut Bart’s split screen.

”Kallae kistnae.... Sabayooooo yeah!” Oscar rasped in gibberish.

“No kids, no worries...” Marge sighed.

“Here's your future!“ Homer yelled at the honeymooners showing off his belly.

”Not me! I do crunches!” said a recently married husband in the line to Miami.

”Well um.... This is your future!” Homer pulled up a split screen gag. In the other screen at home, the kids were fighting. Ie Bart and Lisa strangling each other, mostly.

“Not me! I’m infertile!” said another recently married husband in the line to Miami.


At home Matt was putting a sleeping Grampa in a wheelchair and quietly wheeled him away because Matt is stupid now and makes Homer and Marge neglect their kids and leave them alone unsupervised...

Oscar was very disappointed and horrified with Jurkle.

”Jurkle I (Incoherent cursing and muttering.) I know I taught you to stand up to racist bullies like Eric Cartman, Mel Gibson and Seth McFarlane.” Oscar packed up and down.

“Sieg Heil!” Cartman Hitler saluted.

”Get the hell out of here!” Oscar snapped at Cartman. “But what part of you felt it was acceptable to throttle a girl?! Even if Lisa was being offensive! Which she wouldn’t!” He said to Jurkle.

”She dissed Kabbalah... she said it was a Hollywood fad... It’s serious to me...” said Jurkle.

Oscar sighed, disgusted in Jurkle. He figured he should check on Lisa to see if she was alright.


On the plane.

Marge and Homer decided to not attend poor Tyrone’s birthday. Leaving him with the company of act like a billionaire at parties Simpson, Stanley Simpson, the Simpson cousin who shoots birds at the airport and the Simpson cousin who injures himself and tries to sue people for it.

They giggled at themselves for being cheeky and getting on the unsecured flight to Miami.

”Second Honeymoon!!” They cheered.

”Oh what party animals! How can I say no! Let’s stop all ticket and security checking and let you love birds on! What could possibly go wrong?!” said a airport staff monitoring who was going on the plane.

Terrorists with bombs strapped to themselves laughed maniacally as they ran onto a flight to Toronto.

”Oh we’re overbooked.” said a crew lady on the plane.

”Ooooooh!” Homer whined.

”But this is good news sir! It means we’re moving you and your wife up to first class!” said the crew member.

”Woohoo!” Homer cheered.

Homer and Marge had dinner.

“Sir, what would you like for dinner? A steak or two steaks?” A crew member serving dinner asked.

”Can I have both?” Homer asked.

”Of course.” said the crew member serving him three steaks!

Bart laughed obnoxiously. “You chow down Hungry, Hungry Homer!“

”Why you little! I have an overactive Thyroid!” Homer yelled strangling Bart via the split screen gag.


“Let me go you lacists! Shamefur dispray!” A Chinese doctor yelled in Engrish as he was dragged down the aisle.

”Sir, we’re over booked! We need seats for the cabin crew!“ said a crew member dragging him.

“How dare you! I am a doctor! You be healing from my rawyer!“ the Chinese doctor yelled.

Lisa seethed at this reference to United Airlines.

“This is so luxurious. I feel like I'm Princess Grace and Princess Di smashed together....” Marge sighed as she got a shoulder massage.

Barney Gumble smirked as he was about to say something offensive about poor Lady Di.

”Don’t even think about it Barney!” Oscar snapped as he sat in a seat writing this episode,

”And look at me. I'm reading The Economist.“ said Homer reading the Economist.


The kids and Grampa are watching the news.

“I guess you could call him the little tortoise that couldn't. See our website for the recipe.” said Kent on the news.

“This just in, a monster tornado is tearing through Dayton, Ohio!” said Kent concerned as he read headline news.


“That's where Mom and Dad are!” Bart gasped.

”Looks like the twister is headed right for the Dayton Arms Hotel!” said Kent. A tornado with vampires and werewolves and zombies and mummies and Gillmen and Rodans destroyed the hotel. It was impossible for there to be any survivors...

“Ahhh!” Grampa and the kids screamed.

”They might not be dead. They could be in the basement.“ said Lisa trying to reassure them. On the news the tornado with vampires, werewolves etc in it came back and drilled itself into the ground and the hotel basement. Destroying that too.

”I'm an orphan...’ Bart said glumly.

“I'm a legal guardian.” Grampa lamented.

(PHONE RINGING) The lounge phone rang. Bart answered it.

”How can I be a parent? I break my teeth on ribbon candy.” Grampa groaned.

”Quiet, Grampa.” said Bart, “Hello? Mom?“

”Hi, sweetie. We're just calling to check in.” said Marge on the line.

”Where are you? Are you okay?” Bart asked.

”Right here in Dayton.” said Marge. (GIGGLING) Bart could hear Mom and Dad giggling and was suspicious.

”At the Dayton Arms Hotel?” Bart asked.

“Yup. It's really boring. You kids would've hated it.” said Homer.

(GIGGLING) They continue giggling.

”So how's the weather in Dayton?” Bart asked.

“Oh, you know, typical boring Dayton weather.” said Homer. Bart frowned. He knew they were lying.

(MOANING) Homer moans joyfully as he gets a back rub in the hotel room.

“Hey, do I hear a backrub?” Bart asked suspiciously.

”No. No, that's the noise the phone makes when you've been on too long. Bye now. Love you.” said Marge and the line went dead.

“Something's fishy.” said Bart suspicious.

”Rrrrrrrrrr!“ Hugo growled.

“No Hugo... not fish...” Bart sighed. “They're not in Dayton. They're somewhere fun.” He explained.

“We're not enough fun for them?!” Hugo gasped.

“Well, I know how to find out where they are.” Bart called back the number Mom called from.

“Swelldorado Hotel Miami Beach, sun and water without your son and daughter. How may I direct your call?” said a lady hotel receptionist.

Bart slammed down the phone.

”I can triangulate how to travel there.” said Hugo. “Hold on! Mom and Dad can’t set foot in Florida! We’re all banned from there because Dad killed an alligator they really liked...”


”Well they shouldn’t have lied to us.” said Lisa when Bart told her. “But to be honest Bart I can see that they were fed up with our behaviour last night. We brought this on ourselves. We drove them away because they feel they can’t have well um fun to themselves.” said Lisa.

”Lis, Grownups don’t get to have fun... They have jobs to go to and kids to look after that they made by having fun...” said Bart.

”Bart don’t be so selfish! So they lied to us to go on a romantic vacation so what? Leave them alone!” Lisa said sharply.

”No. We must go to Miami and remind Mom and Dad of the four little miracles they made and are responsible for...” said Bart.

”Bart we cannot go galavanting across America on our own!” Lisa explained.

”We won’t. We’re taking Grampa.” said Bart.

”Like hell you are! I can’t go anywhere! A telemarketing scam might call!” Grampa explained when they go,d him what they were doing.

”Gramps.... you’ll love it, there’s sexy widows who don’t want to die alone... and they’ll go for any old coot...” said Bart. Bart he’s married to Mona still in my fanon! Damn you Matt!

”Hot diggity! I’m an old coot! Let’s go!” said Grampa. “Hold on ladies! Get ready to settle.

Mona glared at Abe.

”I’m going too. And because this episode needs more randomness, I brought Dame Shirley Bassey!” said Oscar.

”Diamonds are foreveeeeeeeeer!” Dame Shirley Bassey sung loudly.

”No Oz!” Bart whined.

”Yes Oz!” Oscar insisted.

Bart face palmed.


Grampa and the kids drove to Miami in Herbie. They brought Mr Teeny and Dame Shirley Bassey. And Matt Lucas as Dame Shirley Bassey.

”She doesn’t have the range honey!” said Matt Lucas pronouncing range as in the “range“ in orange in a French accent.

At the hotel.

“Boy, it's great being here without those children of yours.” Homer sighed as he sunbathed by the pool and drank a cocktail.

“Yeah. I've never sat by a pool this long without having to apologize to someone.” said Marge.

”Or without screaming at the kids or “Stop running! Is that drowning or splashing? Bart! Don’t drown your sister!“” said Homer.

“Oooooooh...” Marge sighed and sipped a cocktail.

“And tonight, we'll finally and romantically hump. Here's to life without children...” said Homer.

”Oh we can’t wait to have children!” said a young couple.

Homer and Marge laughed hysterically.

”What’s so funny?” The young husband asked.

”Oh you poor souls...” Homer chuckled.

”Raising kids is so much easier now with breast pumps and diaper genies...” said the young wife.

During the road trip to Miami in Herbie. Oscar imagines a genie wearing a diaper who makes mostly diaper related wishes.

”No Oz! A diaper genie is bin or waste basket for diapers...” Bart sighed.

Plot 3[]

At a beach resort near the hotel Marge and Homer are at. Grampa parks Herbie to a screeching halt.

“We're here! And it's a good thing, too.” said Bart. “The car's been driving funny since Orlando.”

A rip-off of Eeyore grunted as he walked past. “Everything happens to E-more....”

Oscar laughed hysterically. “What next? A green Winnie?”

“Let's go find Mom and Dad.” said Lisa.

”First, let's slap on some Band-Aids so they feel really bad for ditching us.” said Bart.

Hugo walked about on his hands and feet like a dog and sniffed the ground.

”I thought we ought to bring the dog but Hugo seems to be filling that role...” Bart sighed.

“Time to find a woman who needs some TLC. A Tired Liver-spotted Coot.” said Grampa going off somewhere. Bart shrugged his shoulders. It’s one of those episodes where the kids are unsupervised...


Car Horne honking.


“A-blowin' reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B.” Um... That’s probably the rapper rapping...

”Check out the well-aged beef.“ said a widow.

No scar. He must be on his first heart!” said another.

“I wouldn't kick him out of bed for dying. (PURRS)” said a black widow. A black lady who happens to be a widow. Not the deadly spider... “Hey, handsome, pull up a donut and sit down....” She fluttered her eyelashes at Abe.

“Hey, ladies. I used to be in movies.“ said Abe. “You know those feet sticking out from under the house in The Wizard of Oz? You're looking at 'em.”

Abe folded his feet and legs up as if there were no bones in them. They folded up like the Wicked Witch of the East’s in that weird bit in the film...

”Bah! I can do that!” said Sideshow Bob. He was sunbathing without any oversized custom made shoes on. He folded up his feet like the Wicked Witch of the East too.

“Ew!” The ladies groaned in disgust. Oh Abe... you blew it.

Someone was singing. Probably Dame Shirley Bassey or Duran Duran.

”Goldfingerrrrrrr! He’s the man! The man with the Midas touch! A spider’s touch!” Dame Shirley Bassey sung.

(BEASTLY ROARING AND WIND BLOWING). The monster tornado with the vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummies, Frankenstein Monsters, Gillmen etc was tearing up the beach and flinging classic movie monsters and new monsters like Cloverfield everywhere.

“No Oz! Get rid of that Monster Tornado! Now!“ Bart whined and demanded exasperated.

”How about the Monster Mash?“ Oscar asked.

Vincent Price and classic horror movie monsters like the wolf man and Dracula were dancing to the Monster Mash.

”He did the mash! He did the Monster Mash!”

”That too!” Bart yelled, annoyed. Oscar clicked his fingers and the silly nonsense vanished.

“You never let me have any fun....” Oscar whined.

Marge and Homer’s room.

“Come on, everybody have some sexual congress.” said Homer aroused as he snuggled with Marge.

”Ho yeah! Yeah baby! Yeah!” Oscar yelled as he ran in.

“No Dad do not encourage Oz!” Bart whined as he shortly followed. Lisa and Hugo weren’t far behind. I have no idea where Maggie is...

Homer did not notice as he finished his dialogue. “Not the kind of Congress that contained Paul Tsongas.”

We cut to Congress men and Congress women having sex in Congress. There are clowns too...

“Oh! Oooooh Terry!” A lady moaned aroused.

”You know you like it dirty baby!” a Congressman replied.


“Okay enough of the weird cutaways!” Bart yelled.

This was Enough to alert Marge and Homer that the kids were there.

“Oh no! The kids are here!” Marge gasped.

“The kids tracked us down!” Homer gasped.

”Oh! Our romantic holiday just became a stinking family vacation.“ Marge sighed dejected.

“Marge, I won't let that happen.” Homer said determined.

“Oooooh! This is just like when we went on a road trip with Mr Teeny, those horny kids from the movie Road Trip trying to get their sleazy video tape back, and Dame Shirley Bassey!” Marge sighed.

“Diamonds are foreveeeeeeer!” Dame Shirley Bassey sung.

”Mom please! Enough of the cutaways!” Bart whined.

”Sorry dear.” said Marge.

“We have to grab this chance for romance now or we'll never be alone!” Homer said sharply. “Not till Lisa's in college and we've lost contact with Bart!”

“You're right. But where do we go? What will we do?” Marge asked.

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” said Oscar quoting Gone With the Wind.

”Oz! Enough!” Bart yelled.

”I've got a card that can take us anywhere in the world.“ said Homer. He had Ned’s credit card somehow.

”Step on it!” Marge said as they hurriedly packed their suitcases and fled.

“Those horn dogs! They ditched us again!” Bart yelled. “You know what this means?”

”We have a free hotel room in Miami for two days?” Hugo asked.

“No. We're gonna follow them across this great land making sure they don't have one moment of fun. And I have a card that can take us anywhere they go.“ Bart explained. He had Rod Flanders’s credit card somehow. Why Rod has his own credit card I don’t know...

”Well count us out of your wild goose chase Bart. We’re enjoying two free days in this hotel room! Woooo!” Oscar cheered.

Bart rolled his eyes.

”Sorry guys, but I’m helping Bart. I have skills he’ll need...” said Lisa and she left with Bart.

“I'm sorry. We're not supposed to give out passengers' itineraries.” said the hotel clerk.

“I understand.” said Bart smugly.

“Hey, what's that crazy girl doing?” Lisa was trying to go in the gold membership area.

”I'm going into the Gold Medallion Club with Silver Level Membership! Mwuhahahaha!” said Lisa laughing maniacally.

“The hell you are!“ the man yelled and cocked a pump action shotgun! (Cocks gun) Coooool!


Grampa found a gay old man with a hearing aid called Raoul. He convinced Abe he was happy to listen to his long winded nonsensical stories. But discretely turned off his hearing aid. Rude!

Meanwhile in Marge and Homer’s suite. Hugo and Oscar raided the minibar and charged room service to Todd Flanders’s credit card. Now that’s silly...

”Ah... At last we’re alone my darling...” said Homer to Marge as they walked the halls of a hotel somewhere.

“Busted!” Bart and Lisa yelled finding them.

”Oh no! They found us!” Marge lamented.

”Oh no! Dinosaurs with diarrhoea!“ Busted were there too. Freaked out by Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter’s pooping dinosaur fetish as McFly tried to form a super band with them.

“Please let us collab!” McFly begged.

“No you dinosaur defecating weirdos!” Busted replied.

Dino, Oscar’s cartoon dinosaur winced.

“Oh no! The kids found us!” Marge sighed.

“You win, kids. Just sleep here tonight and we'll all go back to Springfield tomorrow.” Marge sighed. They seemingly gave up fleeing to have a romantic vacation and settled for a few days in Atlantic city or something before making plans to go home.

Marge and Homer were dejected.

“Great! What do you want to play?” Bart asked. “How about the floor is made of lava?”

“Which I can make real!” said Oscar laughing maniacally as the floor became molten lava. The air filled with toxic sulphur fumes.

”All I wanted was a second honeymoon and now the floor is made of lava....” Homer whined.

Some time later.

“Lise, you awake?” said Bart waking up in a bed. He nudged Lisa to wake her.

“Yeah, I can't sleep. Maybe we should give Mom and Dad a break, you know? Go spend the day at an amusement park so we're out of their hair.” said Lisa.

”I can’t get out of Marge’s hair! I’m stuck!” said Ace as a bat stuck in Marge’s beehive hair do.

Bart winced.

“Yeah, I agree. I mean, you are pretty annoying.” He decided it was time to be rude to Lisa and annoy her.

“I guess the hunt was more fun than the catch.” Lisa sighed.

”Hey, I just zinged you!” Bart whined.

”I know. My new thing is to ignore you.” said Lisa coldly. “When you grow up, I'll be outside.“ She left him behind.

”I'm grown up! I'm grown up!” Bart whined, running after her.

On a Ferris wheel. Or a Ferris Bueller wheel...

”Oz no!” Bart whined.

”I knew if we got up early enough, we could sneak away from Bart and Lisa.” said Marge.

”Kids don't beat me. I beat kids.” said Homer. Oh my god! You monster! “And nobody does it better.”

”Nobody does it betteeeeeerrr!” Carly Simon in one of the Ferris Wheel cars sung beautifully.

“Ah! No Carly Simon!” Homer screamed. “No more James Bond references!”

Marge sighed and stroked Homer with her tall blue hair. Homer purred and they snogged.

Bart and Lisa were in the car behind and saw them when their car was above Marge and Homers.

They all screamed.

“You monsters! You followed us!” Homer yelled.

”You monster! So you like to beat children eh?!” Oscar yelled. He jumped out of Bart and Lisa’s Ferris Wheel car into Marge and Homer’s and beats up Homer.

“Ow! Ow! Ah! Gee this kid can fight!” Homer whined. There’s a chomping sound as Oscar bites his arm. “Oooooowwwww! No biting!“

Marge face palmed.


They then all parody the title sequence of Catch Me if you Can.

And Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks and Christopher Walken were in that movie.

Women swooned at the sight of Leonardo DiCaprio. And hey! Leo you died in Titanic!

”That was a character he played...” Lisa sighed.

”Life is like a box of chocolates...” said Tom Hanks. He is also either extremely serious in every movie he’s in or a simpleton.

”Run Forrest! Run!” Hugo yelled being silly.

”This movie needs more cowbell.” Christopher Walken refused to read his lines until the director provided him with more cowbell. He also plays psychopaths or violent people in films. Or old guys.

The montage ends with Homer asleep snoring on a toilet in a plane.

Someone knocks on the door waking him.

Homer wakes with a start, “Uh? Wuh! Uh... Occupied!”

They then arrive at the Trump Brothel hotel and go in.

Bart and Lisa then arrive.

The future Orange President greets them.

”Hello, welcome to my hotel. No Mexicans allowed....” said Donald Trump.

”Aaaaaaaagh! A walking cheezit!” Bart screamed.

”Republican beast!” Lisa screamed.

”Liberal midget!” Donald Trump snapped.

Marge and Homer were in Trump’s casino of the brothel.

”Hey how you doin. I’m fighting a white rhino in Tropicana. The show’s at 11:00, 15:00 and 17:00.” said Drederick Tatum taking part in a weird boxing match.

Homer screamed and fled because Drederick Tatum scares him.

”You’re fighting a white rhino for an orange juice commercial?!” Oscar asked him.

”Yes. I am also for kids, making balloon sculptures on the pier at 12:00, 14:00 and 16:00. Be there.”

”Certainly!” Oscar grinned.

”Don’t be ridiculous....” Bart muttered and dragged him by his sweater collar.

Plot 4[]

Marge and Homer were in a glass elevator. They were kissing and snogging.

“Homie, people in the other elevators can see us.” Marge said worried and pulled away.

“Oh, yeah. Like people in New Jersey have never seen a fat man making out. It's on the freakin' state flag.” said Homer. We pan over to a flag with a picture of a fat man in a vest snogging his wife.

”Oh, my God. Homie, look!” Marge gasped. Bart and Lisa were in the other elevator. Marge and Homer crouched so they couldn’t be seen. However the top of Marge’s beehive was still visible.

”That boy failed show-and-tell, but he's on our ass like Sherlock Holmes!” said Marge.

”And I’m Dr Watson!” said Lisa.

”Well my dear Watson. Where are we stalking a Mom and Now?” Bart asked.

”New Jersey.” Lisa showed inspiring her laptop.

”Oh god no!” Bart screamed. The elevator opened to a cocktail bar in the New Jersey Hotel. Bart and Lisa somehow flushed Marge and Homer out of the Trump brothel one. Mmmmm... republican prostitutes...

To Bart and Lisa’s Horror there were oily muscular men that were bright orange from bad tans wearing sunglasses and jewellery. The Situation, scantily clad ladies in bad make up pulling each other’s hair and screaming “Muff cabbage!” and expletives at each other. And worst of all, the she beast Snooki!

”Smoosh! Smoosh! Snooki want smoosh smoosh!” said Snooki sounding like a Snarf from Thundercats or one of Oscar’s monsters. The one that talks in third person and has a nasally voice.

”Flarf not sound like that!” said the furry monster with horns that looks like the monster from My Pet Monster.

Bart and Lisa ran off screaming.

outside on the streets.

”It’s no good! They won! I am not settling foot among those Jerseys!” Bart panted horrified.

”Jersey is another name for a sweater.” said Oscar.

“Shut up Oz.” said Bart.

”Well I won’t set foot in any hotel owned by Trump!” Lisa replied. “It’s hopeless! They found somewhere to hide we won’t go near! Let’s find Grampa and Hugo and go home....”


While Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Grampa went home, Oscar went on a crazy road trip across America in Herbie the car. He went on this road trip with Mr Teeny, Krusty’s pet chimp. The kids from Road Trip, Dame Shirley Bassey and Matt Lucas impersonating Dame Shirley Bassey.

Mr Teeny screeched as he ate a banana.

”Yes Mr Teeny we mill make sure you have plenty of bananas and fresh diapers this road trip...” said Oscar driving.

”Diamonds are foreveeeeeeeeeeer!” Dame Shirley Bassey sang loudly.

And they drove off into the sunset as Dame Shirley Bassey sang Diamonds Are Forever.

The end!