Simpsons Fanon

The Marge Who Slept Too Little Marge can't sleep because of Homer's snoring so ends up extremely tired during the day.She resorts to desperate measures such as moving in with Patty and Selma who think she's left Homer and try to get her online dating. And resorting to asking her loathsome ex boyfriend Artie Ziff for help.

Meanwhile Oscar tries to turn the episode into a youtube poop.


It is late at night in Springfield. Everyone is sleeping as the song ALL I Do Is Dream by the Everly Brothers plays.

“All I do is dream! Dream! Dream! Dream! Dreaaaaaam.”

We stop off at Comic Book guy sleeping and holding a Zsa Zsa Binks doll. He turns over in his sleep.

The song continues as we pan over Springfield while everyone sleeps.

Then we head to the Simpsons. Marge can't sleep because of Homer's snoring/seizures in the youtube poop version.

He is either snoring extremely loudly or in the youtube poop version having violent seizures.

She goes out the house to sleep on the doorstep. However the delivery boy throws a newspaper at her.

"Timmy it's two AM!" Marge sighs.

"I have a night shift!" said the delivery boy. Marge reads the newspaper. The headline is "Convicted Fraudster Artie Ziff released from Prison."

The following morning Marge is so tired she gives Bart a plant in a plant pot with some milk as breakfast and Lisa a newspaper covered in syrup.

"Coooool! Mom's coked up on drugs!" Bart grinned. "We can turn her in and get money from Dick Cheney!"

"No she's not! She's just suffering from a lack of sleep!" Lisa replied. "Mom you should see a doctor! This is serious!"

"I will sweetie. Homer needs to see a doctor too about his snoring..." said Marge.

"That was Dad?! I thought a bear got in the house!" said Bart.

Oscar was giggling and editing everything on his laptop. Lisa's newspaper breakfast was just a paper reading "YTP" and Bart had a yellow smiley face computer smiley for a face.

"Oscar put everything back to normal now..." Bart groaned.

”Oh and Oscar is insisting on a parallel universe where my sleeplessness is caused by your father having violent seizures.” said Marge.

”Ah.... the magic of video editing...” said Oscar working on his laptop and changing the corncob curtains to carrot printed.

”Hmmmmmm!” Marge sighed.

”I reject your perception of an alternate reality!” Bart snapped at Oscar.

"You have no idea how hard it is to get a Doctor early on Wednesday morning..." said Marge.

Bart was eating a petal from the plant Marge gave him for breakfast.


Marge went to see Hibbert who in his insanity was being driven about by Dr Nick while he stood up in the saloon car destroying his neighbors mailboxes with a golf club. Then Oscar played everything backwards so it looked like he was fixing their mailboxes!

"I haven't had this trouble sleeping since Little Bartie had the scoots!" said Marge.

We suddenly cut to the Simpsons lounge.

Bart was copying the dog by rubbing his butt against the floor scooting. "Hibbert does not need to know that mom!"

Oscar was in the background laughing.

Hibbert explained his solution to Homer's snoring with a procedure.

“Well there is a surgical procedure. But it’s not cheap.” said Doctor Hibbert.

He named his price.

It was far too expensive for Homer.

"Here's my counter offer." said Homer. He offered a card with a picture of Luigi from the Super Mario World cartoon.

"No he didn't Oscar..." Bart sighed. "It said Do It For Free."

"A Hehehehe! Get out." Dr Hibbert ordered them to leave his office.


That night Homer made funny noises in his snores. "(Snoring) Mememememe me! (Snoring) Mememememe me! etc."

Marge went outside to sleep on the doormat again and got another newspaper thrown at her.

Meanwhile at Comic Book Guy’s flat above the Androids Dungeon. He is sleeping while hugging a Zsa Zsa Binks doll from Galaxy Wars.

”Ah.... Zsa Zsa... everyone hates you but me....” sighed Comic Book Guy in his sleep.

Things got very bad when Marge fell asleep while driving and jumped out of the canyonero and rolled down hill while sleeping. Oscar decided to loop her rolling down hill and played Dead or Alive's You spin me right round.

”You spin my right round, baby right round! Like a record baby, right round!”

"Oz..." Bart sighed.

"It's a meme!" said Oscar.

The kids realised no one was driving the car. They screamed and Bart took the wheel.

"Pedals people!" Lisa and Milhouse took the accelerator and break pedals.

"So Lisa, got a date for the harvest festival dance?" Milhouse asked romantically.

"Now is not a good time!" Lisa yelled.

"It's never a good time..." said Milhouse.

Marge decided the only way to solve this was to stay over at her sisters' apartment for a while. Unfortunately they assumed she was leaving Homer and celebrated.

”Overnight bag, no fat oaf?! Patty it’s happened!” Selma cheered.

”She left Homer?! Break out the champagne!” Patty cheered.

"I'm not leaving Homer!" Marge explained. “But I cannot sleep at home because of his snoring. I need one night away until we can find a solution.” said Marge.

They were happy to have her anyway and suggested they wear no bras for the week.

”No Bras!” Patty took her bra off.

"Patty put your bra back on..." Marge sighed.

The sisters watched soap operas and programs about posh women laughing.

“Well actually it’s about four single women who act like gay men...” said Selma.

The narrator screamed.

One of the characters was eating a goat’s cheese quesadilla and kept upsetting Transcriptsforeverdreaming by saying the word sex all the time.

”Sex! Sex! Sex! Seeeeeeexxxx!”

”No! Stop it! Make em stop!” Transcriptsforeverdreaming cried.

”Wow.... it’s like our lives...” said Selma.

Meanwhile at the Simpsons house the kids watched Adventures of Sonic the hedgehog. Robotnik was ranting and raving.

”Nincombots! Metal morons! Idiots! Robotic rejects! All of you! You’re all incompetent!” Robotnik ranted! “He makes me tear out every hair out of my beautiful head! He leaves me in a dust cloud!”

Bart winced.

”There’s a lot of Luigi, Robotnik and Spadinner in this episode.” said Oscar. (Spadinner. I wonder what’s for dinner? And old memes like Mama Luigi and AOSTH Sonic and Zelda CDI...)

At Patty and Selma’s their programme finished.

”And now on HBO. Jersey Shores.”

”Nyaaaaah!” The hags turned off the TV. Yeah it burns!!”

”Email Female. Email female. Email female.” Selma said repeatedly while grooving her hips on a sassy manner.

”Hehehehe! Repetition is funny!” Oscar laughed.

”No it’s not...” Bart sighed.

”Hey there computer geek! (Singing to Georgie Girl.)” Artie Ziff was rich again after being freed from prison.

”Marge why didn’t you marry Artie?” Selma asked her.

”He’s such a cute shrimp...” said Patty.

”Hmmmmmm.... he may be a cute shrimp but that prom night he was like an octopus!” Marge said sharply.

”Hmmmmmm.... hentai Octopus sama...” said Oscar being perverted.

The prom night where Artie has busy hands...

“Artie! Artie, no! Stop!” Marge protested as Artie was making out with her.

“Marge, Marge even you can’t resist my busy hands! Mmmmmm!” said Artie being creepy.

“Get off of me Artie!”

”Oh don’t be such a tease!” Artie snapped.

”She said no! Now get off of her! You fucking rapist!” Oscar in the flashback yelled.

The next morning Marge came home awake and refreshed and cooked individual meals for everyone successfully. Oscar edited in audio from Cooking Mama and Donkey Kong music.

"Wow! Even better than mama!"

"Oscar..." Bart sighed.

Marge served them their breakfasts. Homer got fried everything, Lisa got French toast (note to self, Lisa likes French toast), Maggie got porridge and Bart got pancakes. "Whoooooa! Baby!" said Bart.

Oscar got the Good Morning Burger from that unhealthy breakfast food commercial when Homer accidentally got a hostage negotiator tape. Hugo got kippers.

“Mmmmmm!” said Hugo.

They proposed a toast to Marge with wine glasses of red stuff. Um cranberry juice?

Marge spent another evening at Patty and Selma's. Where they got drunk and convinced her to upload a romantic letter to a dating website. Selma's suggestion was just to write "you love sex" over and over.

Marge didn't want it sent but Selma sent it. Marge gasped.

Artie Ziff received it.


The Simpsons were having breakfast with Cooking Mama music when they heard a helicopter.

"A helicopter is landing in the yard!" said Lisa.

"Let's approach with caution!" said Bart. Oscar photoshopped an awesome face smiley over his face.

“Oz stop!” Lisa whined.

They went out to see who would get off of the helicopter. except Homer who took advantage of them leaving their breakfasts.

”Ahhhhh... Unguarded food.... the sweetest taboo...” Homer eyed their food.

Hugo quickly ran in and fetched his breakfast.

”D’oh!” Homer groaned. “Might as well focus on what’s happening outside, Narrator...hmmmm?”

Oscar edited in the imperial march theme from Star Wars and slowed everything down.

"I'm baaaaaack!" Artie Ziff said in Cousin Kyle's voice.

"What's going on?" said Homer with a mouth full of food.

Artie Ziff stuttered and exploded.

We cut to Patrick Star saying "Duuuuuuh!"


Artie Ziff explained what happened so far after the last time when he got sent to prison and Homer was released.

“Well, well, Marge Simpson...” said Artie.

”Uh Artie about that email. I was really drunk...” said Marge.

”Marge you can’t spell Party with out Artie! And uh misspelling Party or Artie...” said Artie.

The Simpsons were silent because his gag wasn’t funny. A tumbleweed rolled past.

“How ya doing?” Artie asked staring at Marge’s boobs.

”Artie you should already know by now that I’m happily married...” said Marge.

“Married?! Was it consummated?” Artie asked.

”Uh yeah.... they consummated it alright....” said Oscar pointing to Bart and Lisa.

”Oscar!” Marge scolded him. “Um yeah pretty much.” said Marge.

”What? It’s not like Bart and Lisa were brought by Stork...” said Oscar.

Then he figured Homer's snoring problem. He offered to pay for his treatment. Homer despite his hatred of Artie quickly accepts his money.

However Marge doesn't want Artie Ziff's money.

"Oh great! I can't have his money! I can't print my own money! Why don't I just lay down and die?" Homer groaned.

Marge sighed and accepted Artie's proposal.

"But no funny business Artie!" Marge explained.

Artie was thinking about clones of himself dressed as can can dancers dancing while singing "Artie! Artie Artie! Artie Artie!" to the Can Can theme.

Plot 2[]

Homer decided to reassure Marge by taking Artie aside to explain his rules for taking his wife out for one night in return for paying for his snoring treatment.

However Oscar edited it with a mirror effect to look like two Homers were arguing. When they leaned over each other so it looked like a one eyed cyclops monster Oscar played dramatic music over it.

"Don't worry Homer. Your wife shall remain untouched as Ganon's dinner." said Artie. Spadinner Youtube Poops are funny!

Homer didn't know how to respond to that and was speechless.

Then he exploded.

Then we cut to Patrick Star saying "Duuuuuuuuh!" again.

Marge took off in Artie's helicopter with him. She saw down below Oscar had edited over Homer's heartfelt message with a giant Luigi face based on that creepy picture of Luigi from Mario is Missing!

Marge sighed.

Meanwhile Bart and Lisa and Maggie were somehow left behind on Artie's ship.

"Where's mom and dad?" Lisa asked.

Homer was bouncing Oscar and Hugo on his knees. They were giggling.

"Ah, it's so good to have two normal well behaved boys and-Holy crap!! I left the kids on Artie's boat!" Homer suddenly ran off.

Oscar and Hugo shrugged their shoulders.


Homer was soon back with Bart, Lisa and Maggie. They all had dinner in the dining room as Homer promised to keep to the dinner schedule and not order takeaways.

"Everyone say grace." said Homer. He prayed with his hands in prayer as usual.

Lisa however meditated.

”Oooooooom! Oooooommmmm!”

Bart held his prayer beads attached to a crucifix and prayed in Latin and did a cross on his forehead with his fingers and across his shoulders.

"D'oh! If your mother were here she'd be so mad!" Homer growled.

"Well tough Dad! We both made our choices about changing our faiths seriously! This isn't some elaborate joke!" said Lisa.

”Like that time Nancy Cartwright became a Scientologist-Accccccck! Eccckkkk!” said Oscar but Bart strangled him.

"Yeah Lisa feels quite strongly about Buddhism as do I about my Catholicism!" said Bart.

"Grrrrrr! I'll teach you to abandon the Simpsons faith!" Homer strangled them both.

He glared at Hugo. “And you I just hate so much!”

Hugo cried.


After dinner Lisa was meditating and Bart was sighing while reading a Catholic bible. Homer was outside strangling Matt Groening for screwing everything up.

"Damn you for turning my kids into heretics!" Homer yelled.

"Wanna go down to the Buddhist temple?" Lisa sighed.

"Sorry Lis but I only attend a Cathedral..." said Bart.

Bart was at Father Liam Nelson's cathedral with his fingers in his ears in agony because the hunchbacked bell ringer was ringing the bells loudly.

"Okay Bart, as you know by now you attend the Catholic Church by confession. I.e. Confessing your sins..." said Father Liam Neeson.

Bart thought the confession cupboard was a toilet cubicle.

Inside he announced his sins including putting a booger in Liam's coffee.

Liam mashed through the grate dividing the cabinets and strangled Bart for putting a booger in his coffee.

Then Bart had to see the pope.

For laughs the pope is Pope Benedict the XVI (Sixteenth)

"Good... Good... Let the hate flow flow through you!" said Pope Benedict for some reason.

"No! I'm a Jedi! Like my father before me!" said Bart.

("He does not look like Darth Sidious!" Bart frowned at the fourth wall.)

"Then so be it! You will die!" Pope Benedict XVI used force lightning on him. Bart screamed as he was being electrocuted.

Lisa sensed he was in danger.

"I sense a disturbance in the force!" said Lisa. She got up to find Bart at his cathedral.

Meanwhile Homer annoyed at his kids for abandoning Christianity and lonely without Marge went down to Moe’s. He explained Artie’s indecent proposal. His friends were worried but he reassured them them that Marge insisted on no hanky panky. And he warned Artie to keep his hands to himself.

Moe was sure Artie would have his way with Marge.

”He’ll woo her in so many ways! Not counting the John Woo films...” said Moe.

”Horse sprung! Horse sprung! Horse sprung!” Lenny said repeatedly.

”What’s up with him?” Moe asked.

”Oh Oscar’s being an idiot YouTube pooping the episode....” said Homer. “Again...”

”Pingas!!” said Robotnik.


At cathedral Bart writhed in pain as Pope Benedict XVI aka Pope Sidious electrocuted him with force lightning.

”And now young Simpson. You will die.” said Pope Benedict XVI to a tearful Bart as he zapped him.

Bart screamed as he was zapped.

”Nooooooooo!” yelled Dad Vader. He grabbed the Pope.

”Put me down! Put me down at once!” said Pope Benedict XVI.

Dad Vader dropped him down the power core shaft. The Pope screamed as he fell to his death.

Bart winced as he watched Dad Vader hyperventilating because the force lightning damaged his suit’s breathing apparatus.


At Artie’s mansion he held a seventies disco.

”Marge we’re gonna travel in time...” said Artie.

”Forward?” Marge asked.

”No backwards. To the seventies.” said Artie.

There was a seventies Disco. Everyone in town except Homer and his friends obviously were invited to re-enact that prom night.

”It’s our prom night!” Marge gasped.

”Weeeeeeeeeeeee! I’m naked! Wooooooooohoooo!” Barney cheered running around naked.

”Even down to every detail, even that.....” Marge sighed.

Homer arrived to spy on Marge to find Dondalinga was the bouncer.

”Dondalinga?” Homer asked.

”That’s Mr Dondalinga to you Simpson! And you’re not invited! Strict orders of King Ziff!” said Mr Dondalinga. “Have you been drinking?!”

”Only for the last 25 years....” said Homer. He left to find somewhere to spy on the dance.

Artie tried to snog Marge. “Let go you nerd!” Marge snapped and slapped him.

”Noooooooo!” Artie screamed like CDi Ganon for some reason.

”Oh no! If Marge marries Artie, I’ll never be born!” Homer lamented being silly. Uh it doesn’t work like that Homer....

“No! Not into the pit! It burns!” Artie was edited to say by Oscar.

Homer sighed exasperated.


Marge got a taxi home and when Raphael asked her for the bill...

”Send the bill to Baron Von Kissalot!” she snapped.

”As you wish.” said Raphael.

A quaint German castle in Bavaria.

”A letter for you sir.” A butler gave a letter to a German man wearing a pickelhaube with big cartoonish shiny kissable lips.

”Okay, who’s the wise guy....” said Baron von Kissalot.

At home Oscar laughed.

”Hey I did not make up that random character. Matt did,” said Oscar.

“I know. I’m off to have words with him...” said Bart annoyed.

”Bart you look frazzled.” said Lisa observing Bart looked fried and burnt.

”I know. Oz kept insisting Pope Benedict XVI is Darth Sidious...” said Bart.

”He looks exactly like Darth Sidious!” said Oscar.


Homer mistook Marge for cheating on him. It’s stupid I know. And ran away with Lenny to work at a deadly oil rig.

”I will leave this world how I entered. Oily and screaming and being torn from the woman I love!” said Homer.

”Oh Homer! Mona sighed. “I’m hiding out here from the feds and Burns.”

“Oh Mom!” said Homer hugging his mom.

”Where are we?” asked Homer.

”West Springfield oil rigs, just south of Alkali Flats.” said Lenny. “Everything here apparently reminds people things...”

Homer looked at the saguaro cacti. They all looked like Marge smiling at him.

”Mmmmmmmmmmm!” Homer imagined Marge’s soft sighs and moans coming from the cacti.

”Ooooooh! Everything reminds me of Marge!” Homer groaned.

”That’s odd. Because when I look at those cacti they look like my Mom, Dad, my big sister Tanya and my baby sister Yasha.” said Fievel Mousekewitz. The cacti looked like his parents and sisters.

Oscar laughed.

”Shut up Fievel!” Homer groaned.

“No you shut up!” Oscar snapped. He imagined the cacti as resembling Luigi from the Super Mario World cartoon and Weegee from Mario is missing!

”Oh Luigi....” Oscar sighed.

”That’s Mama Luigi to you, Oz!” said a Luigi cactus before wheezing from asthma.

”Well check out amount Carlmore!” said Lenny.

There was a mountain shaped like Carl’s face.

”I carved that one beautiful summer...” said Lenny.

”What did he think?” Homer asked.

”You know, I never showed him.” said Lenny.

”Well we’re coming up on Mount Robotnik now.” said Oscar. There was a mountain shaped like AOSTH Robotnik.

Homer face palmed.


Marge came home to find the house empty.

”Homer? Kids?” said Marge. There was a tape she put it on.

”Seven days.....” said Oscar on the tape with his overgrown brown hair covering his face.

”Oz!” Homer yelled shoving him out of the way.

Homer in one of his Virginia Woolf moods said he saw everything at Artie’s Prom and was leaving her.

“I’ll let these puppets demonstrate- Oh Wait! I’m terrified of sock puppets! Get them off! Get them off of me!”

Oscar sighed and took the sock puppets. “I’ll demonstrate.... Oh Artie kiss me! With pleasure Marge! (Kissing sounds) Homer is such a loser! I love you more!”

”That’s not how it happened at all!” Marge gasped.

”Marge you’ll find me someday in the hobo obituaries.” said Homer.

”Don’t worry about the kids. I dropped them off with their aunts Patty and Selma.”

”Patty and Selma?! No way! I want to live a drunken hobo!” Bart protested.

”Just roll the camera you little!” Homer strangled Bart.

”Let go of me! Eeeeeeckkkkkk!” Bart choked.

Plot 3[]

Marge horrified went to ask Artie for help.

”Okay but I want this in return.” said Artie. He wanted something indecent like to motorboat her boobs.

Marg would not accept this and scowled. She sarcastically offered him a card with a picture of Robotnik wearing a fez.

”Ahehehehe! Get out...” said Artie.

”No author.... it said “In your dreams!” Honestly....” Marge said to the fourth wall annoyed.

”And I will help Marge. Because if I do the right thing, she might like me....” said Artie.

”Yeah sure bub....” Marge sighed.

They then collected the kids. They immediately latched onto Marge like limpets. She waddled back to the car with them latched onto her.

Then Grampa went with them for some reason.

”I know West Springfield Oil Flats like the back of my hand!” said Grampa.

”That’s my hand!” said Marge.

Lenny was tired after working and once they shut the oil rig he raised up his goggles. They magnified the sunlight into a laser and it set fire to an ant. The ant screamed and ran into his nest, then hundreds of ants ran out screaming. They went into the oil but oil is flammable so they set it on fire. The flames spread to the oil rig and trap Homer and Lenny.

”Oh no! This is how Faceless Joe lost his legs!” Homer screamed.

”How did he lose his face?” Oscar asked.

”You know.... I never asked!” said Homer.

”Oh well... This it... the circle of life...” said Lenny.

”The circle, of liiiiiiiiiiife!” Oscar sung the Circle of Life from Disney’s the Lion King.

”That’s it! Burn in Hell!” Homer screamed throwing Oscar into the flames.

”I’m invincible you ass!” Oscar yelled walking unharmed by the flames.


“I really appreciate you helping me find Homer.” said Marge.

“Think nothing of it, Marge. I hope we can always be friends.” said Artie as they flew about in his helicopter.

“Of course.” said Marge smiling.

“With privileges? Mmm? Mmm?“ Artie made kissy faces.

Marge sighed. “Does that work on anyone?”

”No. But when it does, hello!” said Artie.

They saw Homer and Lenny trapped by fire.

”Homer Marge gasped.

Homer saw a helicopter it hovered low enough to blow back the flames away from Homer and Lenny,

“Marge!” Homer gasped because Marge was calling to him from it.

“Climb up!” Marge threw down a rope ladder. Homer didn’t want to and crossed his arms depressed, “Ain't you coming, Homer?” Lenny asked climbing up.

“Why? So I can watch my wife spend the rest of her life in the arms of another man? I don't think so. Good day!” Homer yelled.

“But Homer...” Marge begged,

“We said good day!” Homer yelled pulling Lenny down.

“Listen to me, Homer! You've won! You own Marge's heart, and that's something I could never buy.” said Artie.

“Woo-hoo!“ Homer cheered and climbed up and into the helicopter.

”There's nothing on that helicopter for me....l Lenny sighed.

”Don't be so sure. “ said Carl magically in the helicopter.

(Gasps) “Carl Carlson?” Lenny gasped and climbed up.

”How the Hell did you get in there?!” Artie asked Carl.

In the YouTube poop Oscar made Artie abandon Homer and Lenny to a fiery death.

Artie flew away yelling “I’m Artie Ziff!!” Dramatically.

The burning oil rig collapsed on Homer as he screamed horribly.

But alas we have to go with the happy ending...

“Artie, thanks for saving my life. Now I believe there’s the matter of the million dollars...” said Homer.

”Homer we can’t take his money!” Marge was being annoying.

”Ugh! I can’t take his money, I can’t print my own money! Why can’t I just die...” Homer groaned.

”Dump him out Artie...” said Oscar.

”No!” said Marge. “Homer after what Artie did trying to smooch me, do you really think I want his money!?”

”I want it! That greasy nerd owes me!” Homer demanded.

Marge sighed.


And so the Simpsons were a million pounds richer and Artie feeling bad gave them something to sort out Homer’s snoring/Spasm fits.

Marge and Homer were in bed. Homer had a silly black gas mask thing on.

”Night Sweetie!” said Marge kissing Homer who was wearing a ridiculous mask device to silence snoring.

“Night dear.” said Homer. He went to sleep and snored.

This woke Marge because she realised Homer forgot to turn the device on. She switched it on. The mask drowned out the snoring with music. The mask played Sweet Dreams by Eurhythmics. However it also played a recording from Artie...

”He’s a loser Marge, dump him...” Artie spoke as Marge slept. “I travel the world and the seven seas! I am watching you through a camera!”

Marge woke up staring. Oh Artie you’re in for it now...

The End.