Simpsons Fanon

The Legend of Helga Bart against his mom's wishes and logic wants to hang out with Nelson because he has a BB Gun despite that Bart hates guns. Eventually Bart sees the problem and decides to hang out with Oscar and collecting new Zelda inspired items to use for pranking.

Meanwhile Hugo tries to hatch some eggs only to get lizards...


The Simpsons are called for mail.

"Mail call!" said Homer. Everyone lined up. "Letter for resident."

"That's me!" said Marge as she usually handled letters that just said Homeowner or Resident. They're usually bills.

"That's it?! You made us line up for one lousy letter?!" Bart whined.

"Oh here's one for you Bart." said Homer giving him a letter.

"Oh joy!" said Bart opening it. "It's another death threat from Sideshow Bob..." Bart sighed.

"Oh! Your children have been selected to be the Stars of Springfield Elementary's yearbook! I'm so proud of you!" Marge hugged Bart, Lisa and Hugo. "I have a special reward for you!"

"Mom they send that letter to every kid in school! It's just a big scam to buy the year book..." Lisa explained.

"Hmmmm! Are you sure? Because I can smell a scam a mile away!" said Marge.

"Yeah this lady knows a scam when she smells one! Now about that big reward..." said Bart winking.


Marge took them all to the Fun Fun Palace.

"Yaaaaaay!" Homer and the kids cheered.

First they went go karting.

"Look Bart! I'm driving!" said Homer.

"That's really impressive Homer..." Bart sighed.

Meanwhile Lisa was trying to over take Marge.

"Outta the way Pokey!" Lisa yelled.

"Slow and steady wins the race." said Marge as Lisa overtook her.

Then Oscar turned the whole thing into real life Mario kart and was dropping banana skins onto the track and throwing turtles at people.

"No banana skins or live animals on the track please..." Squeaky Voiced Teen asked.

Oscar threw a turtle at Bart.

"Ow! Oscar stop trying to reenact Mario Kart!" Bart yelled.

Then Nelson was ramming Milhouse.

He pretended to ask Milhouse if he was okay.

"Um yeah..." said Milhouse.

"Then how's this then?!" Nelson rammed him off the track and his cart exploded. "Haw haw!"

"Nelson that wasn't very nice! And I saw you did that deliberately!" Marge scolded him.

"Cram it lady." said Nelson before driving off.


At the arcade Lisa got Maggie to help her cheat at skeet ball.

"Yes! Two tickets!" said Lisa.

"Hey that's cheating!" said Nelson before using a screwdriver to jimmy open a machine and take the entire roll of tickets.

Bart handed in his tickets. "How much for twelve, count them, twelve tickets?" Bart asked.

"A tiny water pistol or a novelty moustache!" said Squeaky voiced Teen.

Bart sighed.

"How much for eight thousand?" Nelson asked. Handing over the entire roll.

"A BB Gun or a microwave oven." said Squeaky voiced Teen.

"Hmmmmm! Hot food sounds good but I'll go for the BB gun!" said Nelson. Squeaky voiced Teen gave him the gun.

"Coooooool! can I try?" said Bart despite not liking Nelson recently...

"Come round my house tomorrow if you like." said Nelson cocking his BB gun.

"Okay see you tomorrow!" Bart replied.

"Oh no you don't! Nelson Muntz is a menace and a bad influence! Stay away from him!" Marge nagged. "Nelson is a troubled, lonely, sad little boy who needs to be isolated from everyone. And besides when I tried to get you to go to his birthday party you said no and instigated a boycott against it! Thank goodness that Martin boy was nice to him..."

"Mom, whenever I don't get my own way Oscar gets mad..." Bart warned.

"Not this time Bart. I'm not bailing you out this time!" Oscar arrived.

"Why?!" Bart asked.

"Because you're being such a hypocrite! Last few weeks you hated Nelson because he wrecked your science experiment, was bullying you at home when Marge took him in..." Oscar listed incidents where Nelson annoyed Bart.

"I thought it would do him good!" Marge sighed. "His mother neglects him and his father disappeared years ago."

"You boycotted his party because he was being mean! Why do you want to hang out with him now?!" Oscar asked.

"Because he has a BB gun." said Bart.

"And that's another thing! I have an entire collection of real guns! But whenever I offer you to see me shooting you get mad at me!" Oscar yelled.

"Because you're shooting people!" Bart yelled back. "Nelson's just shooting birds, or the sky."

"Fine... Marge, this is my angry look. You getting my drift?" Oscar glared at Marge.

"Fine you can play with Nelson!" Marge sighed.


At home Bart and Lisa were comparing their arcade prizes.

"What did you get? I gotta moustache comb." said Bart.

"Moustache. Wanna comb it." Lisa asked.

"Nah, I think I'll go off to Nelson's..." said Bart going out.

"Mom's really upset about that! Did you get Oscar to scare her again?!" Lisa asked annoyed.

"No! He didn't want to help! Said I was a hypocrite!" said Bart.

"Well you are! You hated Nelson a while ago and now you want to go shooting with him! And another thing you hate guns!" Lisa yelled.

"No I hate murderers!" Bart yelled before going off to Nelson's.

"I wonder what he meant by that?" Lisa asked herself. "I'm confused. "


Marge and Homer were doing their washing.

"These sheets are so difficult!" Homer whined.

"Those are your underpants..." Marge explained.

"This is a two man job! Where's Bart?!" Homer asked.

"He's out playing with that hoodlum Nelson! He'd rather be getting into trouble and causing petty larceny..." Marge grumbled.

"And you let him?!" Homer gasped.

"What's the point Homer, we say no and he does it anyway. Or gets Oscar to force us to let him!" Marge grumbled.

"That does it! I'm going out to drag that smart alecky kid home right now!" Homer yelled. He stormed out to collect Bart.


Bart was at Nelson's. Nelson was shooting random things.

"That's my dad's shooting car. Three more payments and it's ours!" said Nelson.

Bart wanted to shoot something.

"Sure! You can wear these stupid nerd glasses I found!" They were Bart's old glasses.

"Nelson those are mine..." Bart sighed.

"Okay, I dare ya to shoot that stupid bird!" said Nelson pointing to a bird in a tree.

"I'm not gonna shoot a bird!" Bart was offended he'd consider such a thing.

"That's because you're not a super stud like me!" said Nelson.

"Are too!" Bart retorted.

"Are not!" Nelson replied. "Ooooh! Look at me! I'm Bart! I'm scared of guns! I wanna marry Milhouse! I wet myself! I walk around like this! Lalalala!" Nelson taunted him.

"That's it!" Bart cocked the BB gun and pointed it at Nelson.

"Whoa man! Don't ever point that thing at people! Didn't you learn that at the NRA?!" Nelson gulped.

"Nelson this is a gun. It's not a toy for big kids, it's a registered firearm, a murder weapon..." Bart explained coldly. "My friend Oscar is a convicted serial killer... he uses guns to kill..."

"No! Please don't kill me Bart! You wouldn't kill me! You couldn't!" Nelson begged.

"Why not?! You wanted me to kill that bird?" Bart replied. "What's it gonna be next Nelson? Oh Bart dare ya to kill that cat. Oh Bart dare ya to shoot that hobo!" Bart ranted.

"Okay I'll never touch another gun ever again! Guns are scary!" Nelson cried.

Homer pulled up angry.

"Bart! Get your butt in the car right now! And- Aaaaaagh! Don't shoot me!" Homer screamed and got back in his car and drove off.

"Okay that was weird. Fine... I guess you've learnt your lesson Nelson. I have to go now, smell ya later." said Bart putting down the BB gun and going home.


Bart went home. Homer was scared of him and Marge was being off with him as usual.

"So Bart, I see you didn't get escorted home in a police car... Still like Nelson..." Marge wasn't looking at him as she spoke to him.

"Look Mom you were right I was being a hypocrite. Nelson was being dangerous with his BB gun and trying to get me to shoot a bird so I snapped and frightened him with his new toy. He won't ever be wanting a gun ever again." Bart explained.

"Oh good for you John Wayne... like that's gonna work on me." said Oscar.

Bart took his gun that was lying on the table and pointed it at him ready to fire. However an electric current zapped him and he dropped the gun.

"That gun's booby trapped for that exact reason. In fact all of mine are in case someone tries to turn them on me." said Oscar.

"You're not making this easy are you Oz..." Bart groaned.

"Tell you what, if you really want to shoot me we'll have a duel. Fifty paces quick draw." said Oscar.

"No duels!" Marge explained. "Bart you did the right thing, eventually. But you can't change Oscar."

"Fine. You're gonna come to a sticky end one day Oscar..." Bart stormed off.

"Mmmmmm! Sticky..." said Homer.


Hugo was outside one day when he found some eggs in a nest. Their was no mother bird nearby so he took them.

He was smart but decided he needed to visit the library to research how to hatch eggs. He set up a lightbulb to keep them warm. Then he headed to the library.

”Hey! That’s my storyline! Oh yeeeeuck! The library! It burns!” Bart whined but realised.

Hugo sat in the library with earphones on and watched on a computer a Troy McClure video on birds.

”Hi! I’m Troy McClure! You may remember me from such nature documentaries as Earwigs? Eeeeew! And Man vs Nature, the road to victory.” said Troy.

He climbed up a tree. There was a blue jay bird feeding her young.

”Mordecai! What are you doing there?! Get back to your show!” yelled Oscar. People in the library hushed him.

”Oz, not every blue jay is Mordecai from Regular Show...” Hugo sighed.

Troy continued explaining things and there was a badger and a mongoose! I swear Mordecai is friends with a mongoose! Or wait that’s a raccoon.

Hugo wrote down that eggs needed heat either from the mother roosting on them or a light bulb. He also wrote Billy on his note pad. Hehehe! Billy...

Lisa found him in the attic sitting on them.

"I would have thought you'd squish them sitting on them!" Lisa expected the logical outcome. However the eggs supported his weight.

The eggs started cracking. "They're hatching!" said Hugo.

They took the eggs downstairs to the kitchen. Everyone watched them hatch. However... the hatched into lizards.

"Those are some weird birds..." said Bart.

"I think they're lizards!" said Lisa. "I am the lizard queen!" She started doing her lizard queen routine again.

The Simpsons sighed at her weird behaviour.

The Simpsons tried to find out what they were.

Plot 2[]

Days later Bart made up with Oscar. They were in the backyard with Link shooting targets with their slingshots.

Oscar was going through Link's things as he had a habit of going through people's things.

"Coooool! A boomerang! A cartoon bomb!" Oscar went through his stuff.

"Oscar do not touch my private belongings! They're private!" said Link.

"I can see Bart with a boomerang..." said Oscar.

"Oh like in Escape camp Deadly?" said Bart smirking.

There was a flashback of that time Bart and Lisa tangled with Mr Burns's nephew Ironfist Burns.

Bart remembered clearly having to rely on a boomerang against some of the bullies at the camp.

Lunch was awful too.

"Eeeeeeugh! Broccoli!" said Bart seeing trays of yellowing broccoli.

"Yum! Tofu burger! Something vegetarian!" Lisa grinned.

Bart rolled his eyes at her.

"Vegetarian food?! You blundering fools! I specifically said no vegetarian food and only the most unappetizing vegetables like slimy broccoli!" Ironfist Burns yelled at the cafeteria staff.

Lisa frowned as the cafeteria was closed.

The daydream ended.


"I think I know where I can get a boomerang..." said Bart.

"Jabu jabu's belly?" Link asked.

Bart winced. "No! That was just stupid Link!"


They went to Australia despite Homer destroying it in the last episode they went there.

They met Tobias.

"Gday mate!" said Tobias.

"Hey Tobias, can you make us some boomerangs?" Bart asked.

Tobias pretended to be offended. "Oh you thought just because I'm Australian I'd automatically know all about boomerangs..." Bart nervously tried to apologise for stereotyping him. "I'm just kidding! Boomerangs are my specialty!" Tobias took them to his shed.

Inside was his oversized slingshot. He put that aside to get some wood to make a boomerang.

Bart, Oscar and Link watched him carve a boomerang and sand it and chisel it and...

Eventually it was done. A boomerang sat on the bench before them.

Bart, Oscar and Link went Oooooooh!

"Now that's a bonza boomerang!" said Tobias. "Of course us Aussies never do things by halves! This here is a real boomerang!" He picked up an oversized boomerang. (Like Sango's from Inu Yasha.)

"Oh Tobias and your oversized weapons for compensating for something!" Bart said while chuckling.


Bart, Oscar and Link were outside in the field tossing their boomerangs and collecting rupees with them. However Oscar kept getting Australian dollars.

Then that kangaroo took Betsy the slingshot again.

However Bart had an idea. He threw his boomerang at the kangaroo and it snatched back Betsy the slingshot for him. She was still covered in kangaroo pouch slime though...

"Eeeeew!" Bart groaned.

At home Hugo took to calling his pet lizards Chirpy boy and Bart Jr.

“Bart got to name Bart Jr.” Hugo explained.

“And Chripy Boy?” Oscar asked.

“I thought it was a good name...” said Hugo.

However when he showed the Springfield ornithologist society, lead by Skinner, the lizards he grabbed them and tried to decapitate them with a paper guillotine.

“What are you doing?!” Hugo yelled.

“I’m glad you brought me these monsters Hugo.” Skinner replied. They’re an invasive and dangerous pest!” He plays a slideshow. “Bolivian tree lizards. They lay their eggs in birds nests like cuckoos but then the newly hatched lizards eat their surrogate parents.”

“Eeeeeew!” said Marge who took Hugo to the ornithologist society.

“I’m sorry Hugo but these lizards are a menace. They have to be destroyed.” said Skinner about to kill Chirpy Boy and Bart Jr.

“Noooooo!” Hugo said with tears stinging his eyes. “They’re my pets! I love them!” He began to cry.

“Oh here come the water works...” said Skinner. “Marge get the lizards off of him...”

Marge could see Hugo genuinely loved the lizards as we watched him cry and sob in her arms. She whispered for him to escape while she caused a distraction.

“Good lord he’s escaping with those lizards!” said Skinner.

“Get out of the way Marge!” Mr Largo yelled.

“Oh am I in the way? I didn’t didn't realize!” said Marge feigning stupidity.

“Yes you’re in the way!” said Skinner annoyed.

“Oh I didn’t realize!” said Marge continuing to block the way.

“Seymour just knock her down!” said Krabappel in a cross tone.

Marge stepped aside when she said that.

Hugo went on the roof.

“D’oh!” He groaned when he realized he was stuck.

“Give me those lizards!” Skinner snapped.

“No!” Hugo yelled hugging the lizards.

“Give them to me!” Skinner tried to grab them.

“Never!” Hugo whined. In the struggle Chirpy Boy and Bart Jr got thrown off the roof to their deaths.

“Nooooo!” Hugo cried.

“Good riddance!” said Skinner.

However something quite wonderful happened. The lizards had a type of wing for gliding with. They unsheathed this wing/membrane and safety glided down to the ground.

“They can fly!” Hugo cheered. "They can fly, they can fly!"

“Did you know they could do that Principal Skinner?” Lisa asked.

“Yes unfortunately...” said Skinner.

Chirpy boy and Bart Jr crawled away to live happily ever after.

“Thanks Hugo. You’ve doomed every species of bird in Springfield!”

Hugo gulped.


However he was rewarded by the mayor West for helping exterminate the town’s pigeon plague.

“And as a reward for our young hero, a scented candle.” said Mayor West.

“Oh! Scented! Mmmm! Cinnamon!” Homer sniffed the candle. “Ahhhhh! The the gayest supervillain ever! The phantom of the opera!”

The phantom of the opera is here! Inside my mind! The phantom of the opera arrived. “Beware! Scented candles! Scented!” He moaned scaring Homer.

Bart face palmed.

The lizards plaguing the town ate the pigeons.

“Wait did you say they’d eat the pigeons?!” Hugo asked horrified.

“Yes Hugo! They pray on every bird! Even the lowly pigeon!” said Skinner.

“Noooooo! Stop! Stop that my babies!” Hugo cried as he shooed the lizards away from a pigeon they were eating. He cried as he held a dead pigeon.

“Hugo....” Marge sighed.

“I guess this all backfired on you Hugo...” Lisa sighed.

Hugo was desperately trying to stop his lizards from eating the pigeons.

“This is all your fault Lizard Queen!” Hugo yelled.

“I am the Lizard Queen!” Lisa chanted.

Everyone sighed.

“Anyway...” said Lisa regaining her composure. “Now we have a plague of Bolivian Tree Lizards!”

“Actually that will resolve itself Lisa, ga hey!” said Frink. “You see the Bolivian Tree lizards back at home in Bolivia are prey to snakes.”

“Then we will have a plague of snakes!” said Lisa.

“Oh we have that solved already sweetie...” said Home patting his club and chuckling with the Mayor as he held a calendar.

“No! Something more humane...” Lisa would not allow whacking day.

“Okay we’ll just import a rare species of gorilla that specifically eats snakes...” said Frink.

“You just made that up, didn’t you Professor...” said Hugo rolling his eyes.

The end.