The Joy of Sect Homer gets tricked into joining the Movementarians, a religious cult ruled by The Leader.
Plot[edit | edit source]
The blackboard gag is "Paintball shooting is not an art form."
The couch gag is tiny Simpsons trying to climb on the sofa. Then Santa's Little Helper grabs Homer. Homer screams as the giant dog takes him.
The episode begins with a plane crashing into the air traffic control tower.
"Please don't..." Bart narrated.
Homer and Bart were entering an airport.
"Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back home Dad!" said Bart.
"Like I always say a kid can learn a Hell lot more in an airport than a classroom." said Homer.
"Hey look! Jimbo and his gang! Hey guys!" said Bart.
"Get bent!" Kerney replied.
Jimbo and his gang were taking suitcases that didn't belong to them.
"Uh I'll need to see your papers..." asked Squeaky Voiced teen. The bullies punch him in the stomach one from each of them.
"I'll take your word for it." Squeaky Voiced Teen hoped by complying that Dolph wouldn't punch him.
"That's okay. You're just doing your job!" Dolph said before punching him.
The bullies then looked through their suitcases.
"Awww! All I got were some fruity Easter eggs..." Kerney sighed having stolen a suitcase of Faberge eggs. He broke one not realising how valuable they were.
"Eeeeew! Another liver transplant!" Dolph groaned upon finding a human liver. He threw it away. It slid across the airport and into an airport bar where Barney was drinking.
"Oh there you are! Thought you could get away uh?" said Barney putting the liver under his shirt.
Homer and Bart passed a book shop. Hans Moleman was in there buying a book.
"Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?" Moleman asked.
"Get out." The shopkeeper ordered him out as if he did something inappropriate. Maybe he doesn't like Robert Ludlum?
Apu was in a candy store looking at the candy. "Look at the outrageous mark up! Thank you, you magnificent bastard!"
"Who wants to bet that will get censored?" Bart asked Homer.
"Shut up boy..." said Homer.
They then passed some Hare Krishna members in a conga line marching about.
"Sir have you heard of the Krishna consciousness?" A Hare Krishna asked Homer.
"Son this is a crazy man!" said Homer.
Suddenly Oscar could be heard yelling "Grand Theft Auto!" and then he ran over the Hare Krishna members with a luggage cart.
Bart face palmed.
"Oscar that game is M rated! And you've obviously shown you're too young to determine the difference between a video game and reality!" Bart ranted. Oscar was arrested for running people over.
Bart and Homer then passed a Christian based worshipper holding a bible of some kind. Probably Mormon or Jehova's Witnesses. "Do unto others what they would do to you!"
"Yeah like that makes sense..." said Homer ignoring him.
Then they encountered two more worshippers trying to get them to join their faith.
"Our faith believes one day we will return to our home planet of Blisstonia." said the lady worshipper.
She gave Homer a Movementarian leaflet.
"Hmmm! Makes sense." said Homer.
"We're having a free seminar at our holiday camp this weekend." said the lady movementarian.
Bart gave the fourth wall a sideways glance as if he knew this was a scam.
"Bart who are you looking at..." Oscar off screen asked.
"And how much is this weekend?" Homer stupidly asked.
"Uh it's free." said the Movementarians.
"And when is it?" Homer asked.
"This weekend." said a movementarian.
"And how much is this free weekend?" Homer asked.
"Dad look! The home team is landing!" said Bart.
They all gathered at an airplane as the sports team. Probably their football team, got off of the plain.
"Oh look a crowd. If only they knew we lost..." said one of the players.
"Hey I'll give you something to cry about!" Moe yelled. "Here can you catch a rock?!"
People started throwing rocks at the players.
"Coooool! A riot!" said Bart. "Hey Dad look! Our neighbor Ruth! Hi Ruth!"
"Hi Bart!" said Ruth as she joined in at throwing rocks at the home team.
Homer was embarrassed at being seen at such a ruckus. He wanted to leave before the journalists arrived.
"Uh let's get outta here boy..." said Homer taking Bart home.
At dinner in the kitchen Marge was reading the Movementarian leaflet. "Hmmmmm! What are these... Movementarians? Are they a church?" Marge asked.
"All I know is they are some friendly decent people I can take advantage of..." said Homer.
"But what if they talk you into something?!" Marge asked.
"I'll be fine... Remember when that smooth talking telemarketer tried to sell us a timeshare condo?" asked Homer.
"Yes! You bought four! Thank goodness the check bounced!" Marge was cross with Homer.
"See? I beat the system!" said Homer.
"Be careful Dad. You're the highly suggestible type..." said Lisa eating her vegetarian dinner.
"Yeah, how did you get Dad to let you skip school?" Hugo asked Bart.
"Uuuuuhhhh...." Bart stuttered as everyone glared at him.
"Homer these Movementarians sound like an evil cult! you know I do not like evil cults!" said Marge nagging.
"Yeah like that time Bart was a scientologist..." said Oscar drinking his soda with a straw. Bart glared at him and suddenly throttled Oscar.
"Aeeeeecccccckkkk! (choke!) It's true! you can't silence me!" Oscar cried while being strangled.
"Oh and by the way we got in a riot at the airport! Ruth was there!" said Oscar watching the riot on his video mobile phone.
"Hmmmmm!" Marge made an angry sound.
"Hey look! Milhouse's Dad was there!" said Bart.
"And Mrs Krabappel!" said Oscar.
"Ay carumba! I hope she didn't see me!" Bart hid under the table.
That weekend at the Movementarian compound.
"Welcome. The carpark is just up ahead." The worshippers Homer met at the airport and volunteers welcomed people in.
"Outta my way losers!" Homer yelled nearly running them over. Off screen his car could be heard stopping and someone getting out.
Quiffy ran up to the fat gut with glasses wearing a red shirt with and orange horizontal stripe through it and furiously tore off his shirt.
"Don't copy my shirt!" Quiffy yelled wearing his red shirt with an orange horizontal stripe through it.
Homer then sat down to do some fishing. He sung the Batman to show theme tune.
"Nanananana fishing! Fishing! Fishing! Fishing!"
"Hi Homer. May we-" said the Movementarians but Homer put up his hand to tell them not to interrupt him. He continued singing the Batman theme.
"Nanananana fishing! Fishing! Fishing! Fishing!" Homer sung.
"Yes it is a beautiful day." said the lady Movementarian. "We should all thank the leader."
"Who's that? Some sort of leader?" Homer asked.
"Uh yes." said the male Movementarian. "He's the leader of our perfect family.
"And when our galactic spaceship is complete he will take us back to our home planet of Blisstonia." said the lady Movementarian.
"Would you like to come chat with us about the leader at our welcome centre?" The male Movementarian asked.
"Will there be beer?" Homer asked.
"Beer is not allowed." said the Movementarian.
Homer screamed. "Right that's it! Marge! Get the kids we're going home!"
"Wait! Would you rather have beer or eternal bliss?" The lady Movementarian asked.
"What kind of beer?" Homer asked.
"The leader knows how miserable you, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are..." said The male Movementarian.
"You forgot Hugo." said Homer.
"Who's Hugo?" The Movementarian asked after an awkward pause.
The Movementarians had a movie explaining their cult. They basically ripped off Scientology with the whole we are aliens shabang. And that they are going to take everyone back to Blisstonia...
”You just ripped off my god Lord Xenu! Man!” Bart yelled. “Narrator stop mentioning that!”
They had already indoctrinated most of the townsfolk. However Homer wasn't swayed because he was bored by the movie.
"I have a short attention so I make stuff up." said Homer.
"But our mission is simple! We-" said the lady Movementarian.
"Oh look! A bird! Hehehehe!" Homer ran outside and chased after the bird.
The Movementarians tried various ways to break Homer such as getting his friends to insult him...
He wasn't phased...
Feeding him low protein gruel.
He just ate all of it.
"How about a repetitive chant? That alway works!" said The male Movementarian.
"The leader is pure! The leader is great!" They chanted.
Everyone chanted too except Homer and...
”Praise Lord Xenu!” Oscar yelled.
Bart strangled him.
"It's not working! This man obviously has the most powerful mind ever!" said the lady Movementarian.
However her colleague had an idea.
"Nananana leader! Nananana leader!" He started a Batman theme chant.
Eventually Homer joined in. "Leader! Leader! Bat- I mean Leader! I love the Leader!"
The Movementarians grinned smugly. The brainwashing was complete. Lisa grimaced in suspicion.
At home that evening.
"You what?!" Marge asked.
"Come again Marge?" Homer asked.
"I joined the Movementarians. They're great! I've signed us all up to join them!" said Homer.
"So what, we get bored somewhere else each Sunday... big deal..." said Bart.
"That's the spirit!" said Homer.
"I can't believe you joined a cult without consulting me!" Marge nagged.
"Because I knew you'd say no. They promised in a hundred thousand years to take us to Blisstonia!" said Homer. "And all it costed was all our life savings and the house."
"I think Dad may have been brainwashed..." whispered Lisa.
"Kill the girl... Kill the girl..." Homer said in a trance.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
"What?" Homer asked.
"Anyhoo we're all moving with the Movementarians tomorrow." said Homer.
"I'm not leaving this house!" Marge insisted.
"Me neither!" Lisa agreed. "I do not trust this cult one bit!"
"Oh I'm afraid you are!" A man said as Movementarians came in. "This is our house now! We're turning it into a new welcome centre for this district.
Marge was furious with Homer.
Plot 2[edit | edit source]
The Simpsons arrived at the Movementarian compound and were shown their dormitory.
"You will stay here for the first ten thousand years then something will open up somewhere..." said a Movementarian.
"Why even unpack?!" Homer chuckled.
Bart and Lisa were concerned.
"These people have obviously been indoctrinated." said Lisa.
"I think it's cool! Just pretend it's a zombie movie!" said Bart. "There hasn't been a rube who hasn't fallen for the dark arts of Bart Simpson.... Bwuhahahaha!" Bart was holding a box labled "lil bastard pranking kit." He went off to the dormitory office to prank the Movementarians.
He came back in seconds later brainwashed and zombie like.
"I love the leader...." Bart droned.
The Movementarian monk was smugly holding a "lil bastard brainwashing kit."
Lisa, Hugo and Oscar gasped horrified.
That night they couldn't sleep.
"Mom I can't sleep..." whispered Lisa.
"I can't either sweetie." said Marge.
"Mom what's gonna happen to us?" Lisa asked.
"Hmmmmm! I'll get us outta here dear. And get some sense into your father. We will be back to normal. We always bounce back from any adventure! Eh?" Marge explained.
"I hope so. I've dealt with cults like the Movementarians before..." said Oscar.
"Nananana leader... Nananana leader..." Homer sang in his sleep.
At church Lovejoy was concerned. "I don't get it! Where is everyone?! Even the Simpsons aren't here!" said Lovejoy.
"Uh Reverend I think they've been taken in by those Movementarians." said Ned. The church was empty except for the Flanderses and the Lovejoys. And um Lenny... XD!
"Oh my!" Lovejoy gasped.
At the compound the Simpsons and everyone else were picking lima beans.
"Hmmmm! When we got married you promised me our harvesting days were over!" Marge scolded Homer.
"No talking while harvesting lima beans!" A cultist told them off from a car as it drove about.
"Get bent!" Oscar yelled at the car.
"Dad I don't like picking beans unless it's with grandma!" said Lisa.
"I'm over here sweetie!" said Grandma Jaqueline Bouvier.
"Mom, can't you see we're all being brainwashed?!" Marge asked her mom.
Jaqueline laughed. "Oh how silly! What makes you think that?" She then started muttering about picking beans for the leader.
Meanwhile Mr Burns was reading about The Leader.
"Smithers who is this Leader and why haven't I heard of him? He's as evil and rich as I am but he doesn't pay his taxes!"
"Uh religions are tax exempt sir." said Smithers.
"Oh are they?" Mr Burns made an excellent sign with his hands. "I've got it! I'll form my own religion! You see me as a god right?"
"Oh do I..." said Smithers aroused.
"And you'd bow before me?"
"Any time sir..." said Smithers aroused.
"Uh sure.... Then it's decided! I will form my own religion! The symbol will be this special K!" Mr Burns drew a special K from the cereal.
"Uh that's a breakfast cereal sir...." said Smithers.
"Do people worship it?" asked Mr Burns.
"In a way sir..." said Smithers.
"How about this?" Mr Burns asked. He drew Mickey Mouse.
"Uh I'll handle the symbol..." said Smithers.
That night the Power Plant was decorated with Christmas trees with a B on them. Mr Burns had set up floodlights and hired goons for his new religion and corralled all the employees not brainwashed by the Movementarians yet.
There were sheets over giant statues. Helicopters pulled off the sheets revealing them as statues of Mr Burns as a muscular figure with a beard.
"People, behold your new god!" said Smithers.
Mr Burns appeared in a new muscular golden body.
"Ah hoy hoy! In addition to working for me you may now praise me as your almighty!" said Mr Burns.
A lightning bolt zapped him.
"Um... we'll try again tomorrow." said Smithers.
Meanwhile Homer and Marge were getting married again...
"We don't need to get remarried!" Marge explained.
"But we're not mass married." said Homer.
"You're lucky you got to choose your bride! We got matched up! Urrrrp!" Barney was married to Otto.
"Just remember I'm the man!" said Otto.
Skinner was married to his mom! And Comic Book guy was asking his new wife if she liked comic books...
Meanwhile at Movementarian school Bart was answering every question with The Leader.
"Very good Bart!" said Edna Krabappel, clearly brainwashed
"No he's wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong!" Lisa shrieked, kicking over her desk in a blind rage.
"What is the matter, Lisa? You used to be such a good student." Krabappel inquired. "Don't you want to please your teachers and get good grades, dear?"
"Grades?" Lisa asked. But she knew there was something fishy about this so-called "cult".
Elsewhere in kindergarten Maggie, Gerald and other babies were watching Barney the dinosaur sing, "We love him! He loves we! We're the Leader's Family!"
Suddenly, Oscar burst in and sliced Barney to pieces with a chainsaw. Blood sprayed and splattered everywhere.
"What? I hate Barney!" Oscar explained.
Homer and Marge were then eating lima beans for lunch.
"Look Marge! This bean looks like the leader! I'll put it with the other beans!" said Homer amassing the collection of Leader beans.
"Homer, I usually put a positive face on things but there's no face on that bean! I'm sick of this place! The whole family wants to go home!" Marge exploded.
"No, we don't mother." said Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Maggie in a trance. "We love the leader!" Maggie took out her pacifier and grinned.
Marge screamed. "Noooooooo!" Then acted cheery. "Okay everyone time for bed!"
Oscar grimaced in horror.
That night Marge escaped, with Oscar following her.
"I want to leave! I demand you get out of my way!" said Marge.
"Lady, anyone can leave whenever they want!" said Squeaky Voiced Teen. The camera pans round to show several death traps. Such as barbed wire covered Giant beach caltrops, a mine field, angry dogs, a river of crocodiles...
Marge grabbed a stick and vaulted over the caltrops ran through the mines chased by dogs. Ran over the crocodiles and ran from Rover from the prisoner.
"Agh! An anti escape orb!" Marge screamed. However she eluded it as it captured Hans Moleman. He cried as it engulfed him.
"Why would you think a big balloon would stop her?" The male Movementarian asked his colleague.
"Shut up! That's why!" said the other Movementarian.
In Springfield Lovejoy was pouring petrol over his church floor.
"I never thought I would have to do this again..." said Lovejoy. Um... you did that before?!
Marge then arrived.
"Reverend, help me! My family has been taken in by an evil cult!" Marge pleaded.
"I'd love to help you Marge but ahem..." said Lovejoy, passing her the money dish.
Marge sighed and gave him a penny. "What shall we do?"
Willie agreed to help them.
"And for five hundred, I'll kill them!" said Willie.
"No just the first two!" said Marge.
"Okay I'll throw the killing in for free!" said Willie.
"No killing!" Marge insisted.
"Awww...." Willie groaned.
They posed as the leader in his Roles Royce and kidnapped Homer and the kids.
"Don't worry Hugo." Oscar thought. "Marge and I will free all of you somehow."
"Marge? You're the Leader?! But you look nothing like you do on the leaflet!" said Homer.
Lovejoy hit him with a baseball bat.
"You're not hitting him hard enough, you wimpy choir boy!" said Willie.
Willie whacked Homer.
"Oh like that helped Mr Kilt!" said Lovejoy.
"We'll all hit him together!" said Marge. They all hit Homer.
In a dark room, Willie interrogated Homer and the kids. "Alright you runts! I'll break you like twigs!"
Suddenly someone turned the lights on. They were all in Ned's rumpus room.
"Who wants rice crispy squares?" Ned asked.
"Ach! You're ruining the mood!" Willie yelled.
"Well it is my rumpus room!" said Ned.
"Ach! Don't call it that!" Willie yelled.
At the Movementarian compound.
"Someone has stolen our property!" said the male cultist.
"We must use our only weapon. The lawyers!" said the female cultist. Yes the lawyers!
Lawyers got in fire engines and drove to Springfield!
At Ned's, Marge tried to get through to her brainwashed kids.
"So do you love the Leader more than your family?" Marge asked.
"Yeah! Uh huh! (Jabbering)!" The kids replied.
"Okay! Okay! Alright! Geez!" Marge replied.
"Hey Marge," Oscar called her over. "I have an idea." He then whispered something into her ear.
"What about more than your very own Hover bikes?" Marge asked as hover bikes appeared.
Her kids gasped.
"Now, who do you love?" Marge asked.
"Hover bikes!" The kids yelled.
Marge was annoyed but glad they were back to normal.
Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Maggie got on their hover bikes and rode them but they fell to the floor.
"Hehehehe! Sorry kids! There's no such thing as hover bikes! They're just bikes on fishing lines!" said Marge.
"But we heard them hovering!" said Lisa.
"Sorry I was in on this dirty trick! That sound was my harmonica!" said Ned playing a comb harmonica.
"Can we keep the bikes?" Bart asked.
"No! In a matter of fact, they're due back at the store at six! Off! Get off!" Marge explained shooing them off of the bikes.
Plot 3[edit | edit source]
Willie was trying to break Homer's programming.
"So what's so great about this Leader? Willie asked.
"The Leader knows all and sees all!" said Homer.
"Oh my! He sounds wonderful!" said Willie.
"He promises to take us all on his space ship where we will live happily ever after!" said Homer.
"Oh my! I'm starting to love this Leader already!" said Willie.
"Uh I don't think this is working." said Marge.
"Be quiet woman! He's telling me about my Leader!" Willie ranted.
"I think we could use a break." said Ned, pouring a Duff beer.
Homer saw this and returned to normal. "Beer..."
"Homer would you like a tall frosty beer?" Marge asked.
"Mmmmm! Beer..." said Homer as Ned bought the beer to him.
However the lawyers broke in.
"This man is coming with us!" said a lawyer as they untied Homer and took him.
"Homer you don't have to go with them!" said Marge.
"But I want to..." said Homer.
"I'm obliged to pour you all a beer but I'm so mad it's going to be mostly head!" said Ned.
Oscar sniggered. "So you're giving them head?" Oscar asked laughing.
"Shut up, Oscar." said Bart annoyed by his inappropriate joke.
"Not so fast Lurvum and Burnham Family lawyers!" said Mr Burns. He arrived with his cult guards. "You work for me remember!"
"On The contrary, Mr Burns. The Movementarians bought us out. You can see all the paperwork here." said Blue haired lawyer.
"But I'm nothing without my army of scary lawyers!" Mr Burns whined petulantly.
The lawyers left with Homer.
"Well at least you tried Mr Burns." said Bart.
"Don't talk to me!" said Mr Burns storming off.
At the Movementarian compound Homer acted like he was still brainwashed but it was all part of an elaborate plan.
"I'm glad I'm back guys because the moment that beer touched my lips I discovered the secret of the forbidden barn!" Homer explained.
"The whole reason the leader doesn't want us to see his intergalactic spaceship is because there is no intergalactic spaceship! Just-" Homer opened the barn doors. "One Hell of a spaceship?!" There was a spaceship inside.
"By the rings of Saturn! The Earthling known as the Leader has built a spaceship Kodos!" Kang as a Movementarian gasped.
"It's even a flying saucer! A flying saucer!" Kodos gasped. She too was a Movementarian.
"Why are you guys here?! It's not Halloween!" said Homer.
Before the aliens could answer a deep voice boomed out. "Homer! Because of your lack of faith no one may go to Blisstonia! I am disappointed in you..." said the voice from the spaceship has it took off.
"Oh nice work Homer!" Moe yelled. Everyone booed Homer.
"Wait! Look!" Lisa gasped.
The spaceship was falling apart. It was just an elaborate prop. Underneath was the Leader riding a flying machine bike and playing a comb harmonica.
"The Leader lied to us!" said Otto.
"Lets kill him!" said Moe.
"Nah let's go home Jerry's on..." said Wiggum.
"Wait what about our money?" Homer asked.
Well, Homer the Leader isn't going to get away scot free! The Leader crashed his machine on Cletus's land. Cletus came out and pointed a gun at him.
"Agh! Sky people! Brandine! Get the barbecue on!"
"Um are you looking for a savior?" Leader asked.
"No but I'll take those bags of money yous has thank you kindly!" said Cletus demanding all of The Leader's ill gotten money.
The Leader sighed.
Meanwhile at the Simpson house the Simpsons were sat watching TV and glad everything was back to normal.
"I'm just glad we're no longer brainwashed by an evil cult." said Marge.
"Yeah now we can think for ourselves! Let's watch TV." said Homer.
A voice on the TV said, "You are watching Fox."
"We are watching Fox..." said the Simpsons in a trance.
The episode ended with scary music!
Dun dun dun!