Simpsons Fanon

The Italian Bob Bart’s class make fun of Mr Burns’s old fashioned car so he sends Homer on an all expenses paid trip to Italy to pick up his new sports car. However while there the Simpsons encounter Sideshow Bob! Dun dun dun!


The couch gag is a set of hands throwing Simpson themed playing cards onto the couch. Then it pans out to show Oscar holding his Simpsons playing cards out of their duff can container. He was the hands throwing them. But he accidentally knocking it over.

“D’oh!” Oscar groans.


The Episode starts with Mrs Krabappel has a surprise for the class.

“Children we have a special treat for you today.” said Mrs Krabappel.

Willie brings in a TV.

The class cheer.

Then PBS logo appears.

They groan.

In association with appears.

They are optimistic.

Then the Viacom V of doom appears.

They scream in terror.

Then a sappy logo for a cartoon on diversity starts.

They groan even more.

“Welcome to Diversity Tales.” said a female voice from the TV.

“Enjoy your multicultural hooey!” said Willie as he left the room.

There are two Indian kids picking bamboo.

“This show sucks!” said Nelson.

“Why does that boy look like Ranjan from Disney’s Jungle book 2?!” Oscar asked. Everyone threw books at him. “Ow! Quit it! I’m nine years old! I watch kids' films, okay?!”

“Look if you don’t want to watch the film, feel free to stare out the window...” said Mrs Krabappel.

Everyone including Martin did so.


Outside, Mr Burns was bossing Smithers about to get his car started.

“Hey Crypt Keeper! Love your dodge scare wagon!” jeered Bart, teasing him.

“How dare you! You insolent urchin! This was the first car to out run man!” shouted Mr Burns.

“Yeah, a cave man! Haw-haw!!" Nelson mocked. Everyone laughed. “I thought of that because I slept all night in a cave.”

“Smithers! Kill them!” Mr Burns demanded.

“How about you just get a new car, Sir...” said Smithers trying to get his old fashioned car started.

“Or an old people’s car!” said Martin. The other kids didn’t think his joke was funny.

“Your car sucks!” said Nelson. Everyone laughed. Martin had a sad face.

“Why you!! Hold still for seventy minutes while I take all of you pictures!” Mr Burns took out an old fashioned camera.

“Sir, I think I might be able scare their parents into having words with them...” said Smithers. “I recognize the little boy with spiky hair as the son of one of our cabbage heads in Sector Seven G.”

Smithers glared at Bart. “Yes I’d recognize your insolent smirk anywhere, Bart Simpson! Your father will hear about this!!” Smithers scolded Bart.

Bart gulped. His class mates laughed at him.

In the classroom Oscar got bored of laughing at Mr Burns’s stupid car and watched the lame diversity cartoon.

”Blah Blah Blah... something about the Earth Turtle and the Moon Mongoose.” said Ranjan from Jungle Book 2.

”Moon mongoose!” Oscar yelled demented.

”Oh come on Oz, that film is worse than Wheelchair Nocchio! Come on laugh at Mr Burns’s stupid old fashioned car! Nyahahahaha!” said Bart.

”Cooooool! Wheelchair Nocchio!” Oscar grinned.


At Work Homer was singing.

“Simpson!” For once Mr Burns remembered his name.

“Yes sir!” said Homer saluting him.

“Now listen here, Simpson! I have bought this new car. A sporty new number called the Ferraro Velocito.” said Mr Burns.

“Wooooow! The Ferraro... That’s the car I think about when making love to my wife...” said Homer.

“Yes... I want you to go to Italy to pick it up for me. It will save me a fortune in taxes!” said Mr Burns.

“Wow! You’re sending me to Italy?! But why?” said Homer.

“Oh just think of it as a reward for all your hard work...” Mr Burns lied.

“Woohoo! Wait! What’s the catch? Is the hotel cheap and crummy...”

“No! I’m personally paying for the finest. Well second finest hotel in Italy for you.” said Mr Burns.

“Can I bring my family?” Homer asked.

“Sure!” said Mr Burns.

“Do I have to spend time with them?” Homer asked.

“It would be nice.” said Mr Burns.

Homer screamed annoyed. “Wait, that’s not a catch. Mr Burns. I know I’m not a model worker like Mr Apple polisher in Sector Two Z or Mr Smithers. And I don’t want to speak out of turn but you’ve never been this generous! Some of the guys here really think your stingy...” Homer explained. “So what’s the catch... come on...”

“Well... I’m being nice to you and making you want to run this errand because if you don’t. I will fire you this instant for your son’s disrespectful and traducing twaddle about my car!” Mr Burns lost his nice composure to tell Homer the truth.

“D’oh! Baaaaart!” Homer whined.


Homer told his family the news.

“To Italy?! But that’s wonderful! I always wanted to go to Italy! Especially Venice, the most romantic city in the world!” said Marge thinking romantic thoughts.

“Yeah the holiday is sweet and Mr Burns was so nice... yada yada...” said Homer. “However I have no way of backing out of this sweet deal, not that I want to, because Bart here insulted Mr Burns’s car so he’ll fire me if we don’t go!” Homer explained before yelling at Bart.

“Homer, we got a free trip to Italy! You should be happy!” said Marge.

“Yeah Bart could have made things worse but he ended up making things better!” said Lisa.

“And we get to fly first class! We won’t have to put Hugo in the over head compartment!” said Homer.

“Homer, we never put Hugo in there! And if I catch you ever doing that just to save on seats, I won’t just be mad at you! Oscar will be too!” Marge scolded him.

“Okay I get it! Spiky hair has a weird and gay crush on Hugo...” Homer sighed.

“I'm outta here. I got Hebrew school.” said Jurkle leaving the table.

Oscar winced.


The Simpsons were flying to Italy. First class was full so they had to wait for the flight marshals to drag a few Chinese doctors off the flight who were in there. It was a United Airlines flight!

“Hey! That dude pulled a TV out of the arm of his chair!” said Homer seeing passengers in a better cabin taking out their TVs.

“I wonder what’s in mine...” Homer ripped open the arm of his chair. “No just these stupid wires!” Homer pulled out the wires. An engine detached from the plane and fell into Cletus’s yard.

“Hey Brandine! Our kids have a new den to play in!” said Cletus as the Spuckler kids went in the engine and played about in it.

“Oh Cletus! You’re the best husband and Son to ever marry me!” said Brandine. Eeeeew! You married your son!?

Back on the flight the flight attendant told the Simpsons there was room for them in First Class now as several Chinese doctors were dragged screaming off the plane. The Simpsons found this quite awkward.

“Well, I for one don’t want to enjoy first class benefits you horribly dragged those doctors away from!” Lisa yelled.

“Oh well, that means you get a seat boy!” said Homer to Hugo.

Marge grumbled as they left Lisa in economy.

“Oh, for crying out loud! Can’t I make a righteous statement for once!!” Lisa yelled following them to first class.

”No.” said Bart.


They arrived at Da Vinci airport where there were Da Vinci flying machines landing everywhere. Oscar laughed at this.

“Quiet boy...” Homer moaned.

”No you be quiet!” Oscar snapped. He laughed hysterically at the Leonardo Da Vinci flying machines.


They were collecting their baggage.

“Lisa, why have you got a Canadian flag on your bag?” Bart asked.

“Well... you see in Europe a lot of people think America has made a lot of stupid mistakes over the years thanks to President Banana Brains so for the next few weeks, I’m Canadian!” said Lisa.

“Eh... I think Dad is about to blow your cover...” Bart explained.

Homer was yelling “USA! USA! For Texas!“ While picking up an American flag he put in the luggage.

Lisa face palmed.


The family were then in the country side by the Leaning tower of Pisa.

“Italy is so beautiful! I wonder why hated it all those years...” said Homer as they looked around before heading for their hotel.

Suddenly we hear a man scream “Diiiiiieeeee!” As Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man rolled towards the Simpsons and started punching and kicking Homer with his many arms and legs. Homer cried in pain with each hit.

“Ow! You’re mean!” Homer whined holding his groin.

“Let’s get outta here before we upset anymore works of art...” Oscar said with a sweat drop.

They went to a car factory to collect Mr Burns’s car. Robot hands had just finished it. Bender was there to see his mom...

“Oh! Oh! Hi Mom! Mom! It’s me!” said Bender the beer drinking robot to a robotic arm building a car. It stopped to pat Bender on the head. Bender giggled.

The Simpsons had sweat drops of embarrassment.

The factory owner explained the Ferraro was the bond of sports and marriage.

“Oooooh! Marriage!” said Marge

“Now remember everyone... We have to get this car to Rome to be shipped back to Mr Burns...” said Homer.

“Oh... I was hoping to see more of Italy...” said Marge.

“Oooooh! Marge! Are you encouraging me to be irresponsible?!” Homer chuckled.

“Mom maybe you should encourage Dad to get us some health insurance!” said Bart.

“Why you little!” said Homer strangling him.

Bart grabbed a lever to make a robot arm grab Homer by his neck and strangle him and another whack him over the head with heavy blocks of metal. Eventually Homer was knocked out. But Bart was barely conscious and fell over too.

Marge and the factory owner were embarrassed.

“So... This is your first time in Italy...” asked the owner.


The Simpsons were admiring the leaning tower of Pisa until it’s revealed their in an Italian McDonalds eating.

“Wow! A McDonalds that serves Booze!” said Homer drinking alcohol.

“Cooool! I want beer!” said Oscar.

“Oscar you can’t drink! You’re only nine!” Marge told him off.

“Uh the drinking age is only four in Italy...” said a waiter.

“Woohoo!” said Oscar.

Marge sighed...

Hugo was eating a Big Mac.

“Daaaad... Don’t you want to see the tower..” said Lisa.

“Nah, I’ve got a picture on my cup...” said Homer.

Lisa sighed.

“I’ll take Lisa to see the tower...” said Oscar clearly drunk.

“Wow! Really?” Lisa asked.

“Sure! Everything is less boring when you’re drunk...” said Oscar spilling his beer.

Marge sighed.

Plot 2[]

A drunk Oscar took Lisa and Hugo to the leaning tower of Pisa.

“And this is where Galileo Galilei dropped cannon balls from to test that all things regardless of how heavy they are fall at the same speed!” said Lisa.

Oscar was still drinking...

Lisa grumbled annoyed as she watched him drink beer.

“Actually, little girl, it was to crush my enemy Orazio for spiting on my theory on the sun being the centre of the solar system! I hate ah you so much Orazio!” yelled Galileo in an Italian accent.

“Okay... Let’s get outta here...” Lisa sighed.

They were looking at the flying machines at the Da Vinci airport.

“Leonardo Da Vinci wasn’t just an artist. He invented flying machines! Unfortunately none of them worked until later inventors refined the theory of flight...” said Lisa ignoring the working flying machines in the distance.

“Fascinating. But how does this help with my plan to make atomic super men!?” Hugo ranted.

Lisa face palmed.

“Okay super geeks, Mom and Dad are wondering where you are... and I don’t think Oscar wants to hear what you have to say about science and stuff...” said Bart. Lisa frowned at him.

“Actually because I’m so wasted it went in one ear and out the other. All I heard was something about that one line in Queen’s Bohemian rhapsody Galileo Galileo! And that Leonardo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles invented flying machines...” said Oscar.

“Oscar, gimme that!” Bart snatched his beer and threw it away.

“My beer! Why you not so little!” Oscar strangled Bart.


Lisa then insisted they visit Pompei.

“When Mount Vesuvius erupted, the townspeople were buried in so much hot ash that they were frozen in the exact position they were in thousands of years ago until today...” said Lisa. They saw some ancient Pompei people who resembled them. The father even looked like Homer and was drinking a beer with one hand and strangling the son with his other.

Bart laughed.

“Savages...” said Homer.

“Oscar, pay attention and turn off that TV!” Lisa sighed as he was watching a portable TV.

“I am! But learning from you is boring so I’m learning about the eruption of Vesuvius by watching Doctor Who The Fire’s of Pompei!”

Lisa sighed.

“OMG! Future Doctor alert! Look at the Roman Dad!” Oscar yelled watching his TV.

“Oz that guy is not going to be the Doctor... He swears too much!” Bart sighed as he pointed to Peter Capaldi.


The Simpsons and Oscar were driving across Italy. Marge was talking about a lovely bridge they saw.

“Okay the navigator says we need to arrive at a fat chick in a tutu being fed cake by a midget.” said Homer.

“Homer that’s a Herve VillChaize Movie!” Marge explained.

“I get it! The midget represents...” Homer was about to say.

“Dad! Cheese truck!” Bart yelled. The cheese truck had to swerve to avoid crashing into Homer. However cheeses flew out of it!

“Aghhh! Dad! Mozzarella! (They dodged some mozzarellas) Parmaggio! (A triangle of cheese for grating onto pasta) Gorgonzola!” Lisa called out the cheeses.

“Eeeeew! Stinky Gorgonzola!” Oscar gagged as a bad smell from the Gorgonzola got in.

“No that’s Hugo’s feet...” Bart explained as Hugo had his shoes off.

Lisa listed more Italian cheese names. Then she was particularly worried as a particularly runny cheese splattered on the window obscuring their vision.

“Ahhh! Mortadella!” Lisa yelled as the windows were cleared of cheese a big wheel of Mortadella fell on the engine breaking it.

“D’oh!” Homer groaned then he remembered. “Wait, no worries, we have cheese insurance!” He had a leaflet.

“It doesn’t cover mortadella...” Marge explained.

“Nooooooooo!” Homer screamed.


They pushed the car all the way to Tuscany. Oscar wasn’t helping as he was too busy eating some of the Mortadella.

“Oscar! That’s stealing!” Lisa told him off.

“It’s not if the cheese truck driver doesn’t come back for it...” said Oscar eating cheese.

Homer was ranting stuff.

“Stupid reunification of Italy under Victor de Manuel! Why can’t they just stay a separate group of regions occasionally warring and trading...”

They arrived in Tuscany.

“Now we need to find a mechanic in Tuscany...” said Lisa.

Homer asked an Italian old lady milking a goat but she didn’t understand him.

“Americano?” The lady asked if he was American.

“Americano? What’s that?” Homer asked.

“She’s asking if you would like an Americano coffee...” said Oscar being stupid.

“No she’s asking if you’re American!” Lisa corrected him. “Cafe Americano literally means American style coffee...”

“It’s a Ferraro Velocito X4 Model nine!” Homer yelled at the old lady.

“Ah! Auto. La Majorno il speaka Ingles.” said the old lady.

“Eh?” Homer asked.

“She said the Mayor speaks English! Let’s go and see them!” said Marge.

“Thank you! A gift ma’am...” Homer gave her a Kentucky mug.

She was horrified.

“In Italian, this means 'whore'!” she yelled, throwing the cup to the floor and breaking it. Then she slapped Homer in the face.

“Hey! Old lady! If you could speak English why didn’t you a few minutes ago!?” Bart asked.

“I like annoying tourists...” said the old lady.


The Simpsons went to the Mayor’s office.

“Um excuse me Mr Mayor. They say you speak English.” said Marge as they entered the Mayor’s office.

“Indeed, I do.” said a baritone voice. The mayor’s chair swivelled round to reveal the identity of the mayor.

“Nyaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” The Simpsons screamed. Dun! Dun! Dun!

“The Simpsons!” Sideshow Bob gasped.

They both screamed at each other.

After the fade to black.


“Sideshow Bob! Of all places, you have to end up mayor of this one!?” Bart ranted.

“Believe me, I’m as shocked to see you here as well.” said Sideshow Bob.

“Tell us how you got here! And it better have a beginning a middle and an end!” said Homer. “And make us route for the protagonist...” Homer threatened Bob.

“Okay I don’t see why not. I shall regale you with my tale of what happened since last time we met...” said Sideshow Bob.


There was a flashback.

“Oh! I love flashbacks!” said Oscar.

“It had been just after I had tried once again to kill Bart Simpson.” said Sideshow Bob. Not on my watch! How did that happen after Goo Goo Gai Pan?!

Sideshow Bob dressed in black wearing a black woolly hat returned home, disappointed. “I needed a break. Somewhere to start anew...” Bob decided.

In the story, Sideshow Bob was at an atlas globe. He would spin it rapidly and blindly stop it by stabbing a knife into it. Deciding solely on that random chance that that was where he was going to start his new life.

He stopped on Orlando. “Not in this life time!” said Bob in the flashback.

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell him about Universal Studios...” Oscar whispered.

“Oscar, stop interrupting the story...” said Bart.

Sideshow Bob tried again. He landed on North Korea. “No!”

He tried again. He landed on Uruguay. “Damn it!”

“Hehehe! You are gay...” Homer chuckled.

Then he tried again, but this time, landed on Shelbyville

“Never!” He didn’t like Shelbyville for some reason.

“No one from Springfield likes Shelbyville...” said Bart.

Sideshow Bob tried again. He landed in a fictional country called Bartovia. It was a Bart shaped island.

“Now cut that out!” Sideshow Bob was annoyed by the globe for jusaking up countries.

“Hehehe! Bartovia...” Bart chuckled.

Sideshow Bob slowly looked through Europe for a country he liked. “Ah! Tuscany! Fortune finally smiles on me!” said Sideshow Bob. But a rake slammed in his face. He growled and threw it away.

Bart laughed.


Sideshow Bob then took a train to Italy. When he arrived things didn’t start well as he rudely explained to a native Italian woman that she wasn’t pronouncing Bonjourno right. She spat at him.

“But things were about to get more pleasant...” said Sideshow Bob.

We cut to Oscar in Bob’s Mayor office eating popcorn.

In the story Sideshow Bob saw people stamping on grapes with their bare feet to make wine. However they were exhausted because of their small feet.

However they saw Sideshow Bob’s huge feet.

Somehow he volunteered to stomp grapes for them. He started singing.

“These feet are made for stomping. And that’s just what they’ll do! One of these they’ll make Chiano out of you!” He seemed to be thinking about Bart the tone he was singing in.

The Italians made lots of red wine and put a picture of Bob kissing his foot on the bottle. Uh I’m not drinking that...

“Very soon the people of Tuscany made me their mayor.” Sideshow Bob was made the mayor. “But love didn’t just end there with admiration and respect from my townsfolk...”

“Roberto! Roberto!” said a black haired Italian woman as she entered Sideshow Bob’s office.

“Simpsons. Allow me to introduce my darling wife Francesca and my son Gino.” said Sideshow Bob. Francesca was holding a little boy with Sideshow Bob dreadlocks. Hehehehe!

“Wow! I didn’t know! Well you know! I thought we’re out loud and proud!” said Homer.

“Well I experimented in college...” said Sideshow Bob.

“Well I never went to college...” said Homer.

“Stop the presses...” Sideshow Bob couldn’t care less. But someone did.

“Ahem! Yes you did Homer! In episode three of season five! Homer Goes to College!” Comicbook Guy suddenly appeared to enforce continuity.

“I meant as a youngun! Now get outta here! You’re or in this episode!” Homer yelled at the Comicbook Guy.

The Simpsons and the Terwilligers looked awkward.

“Um Hi! I’m Marge Simpson.” said Marge. “And this is my Husband Homer. And these are my kids Maggie, Lisa, Bart and Hugo.”

“I’m their lodger.” Oscar lied.

“The Bart Simpson? The name Roberto cries in his sleep?” Franscesca asked.

“Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make like ma papa and kill Bart Simpson! Die die die!” Gino made stabbing motions.

Bart gulped.

“He’s adorable!” said Oscar.

Bob laughed nervously.

“What a Gino means is that Bart and I... used to go fly fishing!” Sideshow Bob lied.

He put Gino down to run about.

“Die! Die! Die! Die!” Gino yelled running around in a circle stabbing with an imaginary knife until he stepped on a toy rake and knocked himself out.

Bart laughed.

Francesca picked up Gino.

“You shall all stay for dinner and you can tell me more about my wonderful Roberto! Mmmmm! (She strokes Bob’s hair) He makes love like- just out of jail...”

Sideshow Bob laughed nervously and politely asked his wife to leave him and the Simpsons in peace.

Plot 3[]

“Simpsons! Please don’t destroy the life I’ve made here! Surely even the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance?” Sideshow Bob begged the Simpsons.

“Bob? You haven’t told your wife about all the awful things you’ve done?!” Marge asked.

“I tell Marge everything I do! Well not in words but with body language... sneaking around...” said Homer.

“Bob you’re family will find out eventually... you’ll try to kill me again! Watch!” said Bart. He pulled up his t shirt. “Look Bob! Slice, dice and serve on rice!”

“I can do that!” said Hugo taking out his scalpel. “Well not the dicing part. I want you alive...”

“Hugo!” Marge told Hugo off for brandishing a knife.

“Ohohohoo! You little scamp! You’re going to make a murderer very happy one day. But that won’t be me...” Sideshow Bob insisted he was a changed man and put Bart’s Shirt back down over his belly and prodded his belly.

“Bart, Bob is a family man now!” Marge explained. “You can’t be a bad person if you have a family!”

“Yeah literature is full of families and tales of redemption from Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi to Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear!” said Lisa.

Uh how does Buzz Lightyear fit in here...

“Nnnnnnngghhh! Look at you people! Bob has got you believing he’s changed, yet again!” Bart ranted. “Are you so gullible...?”

“Okay Bob we won’t tell your family you’re a homicidal maniac if you fix up our car.” said Homer.

“Gracias.” said Bob.

Bart rolled his eyes annoyed at his family for believing Bob so easily.

“Now I can’t undo the past. But I can make it up to you. My humble little town is at your service!” said Sideshow Bob. He opened the doors to his balcony and called down to the townsfolk in Italian. He explained to them to treat the Simpsons as honoured guests with the uttermost respect.

The townsfolk cheered.

The Simpsons waved except Homer who was doing a Mussolini impression.

“Dad! Don’t act like Mussolini...” Lisa warned him.

“I thought I was doing Donald Trump!” said Homer.

Oscar was wearing a MAGA hat even though that doesn’t exist yet and growling at Homer. “Stop comparing Trump to a monstrous tyrant like Mussolini!”


The Simpsons went to a butchers. Marge read a leaflet that said the butchers had been killing the same family of pigs for generations.

The shopkeeper explained he’s haunted by the ghosts of ten thousand pigs.

Homer then asked something that the butcher allowed him to do. It involved eating the raw sausage meat straight out of the grinder. Eeeeew!

“Does he kiss you with that mouth?” Sideshow Bob asked Marge.

Homer with a mouthful of sausage meat spoke unclearly and made kissing gestures.

Then Sideshow Bob played Soccer with the town kids with a soccer ball with black pentagons on it...

While the kids were chasing the ball to tackle Bob, Oscar was faintly heard squealing “Haaaaaauuuwww! Spotty!”

Bart rolled his eyes trying to ignore Oscar.

Sideshow Bob caught the ball in his hair and it went down his shirt and he laid it like an egg.

The kids laughed.

“They must miss him back in America.” said Francesca. Marge only let her know Bob originally lived in America.

Marge had a sheepish look.


Meanwhile in America.

Wiggum bursted into a house with his cops Eddie and Lou brandishing machine guns. “Eat lead, Sideshow Bob!” They fired their machine guns.

However it was the wrong house as they had just ruined a kid’s birthday party.

“Chief I keep telling you! Sideshow Bob hasn’t lived here in months!” said Lou.

Wiggum tried to ask the kids if they knew his cousin Mark.


Meanwhile in Italy, there was a shiny new car with a cute purple bow wrapped round it as the towns had a dinner party and Bob had an announcement.

He thanked his friends the Simpsons but wished them never to return once they went back to America. Then he announced the start of dinner.

Someone tried to pour Lisa some wine.

“No wine for her she’s only eight years old!” Marge explained. Taking Lisa’s glass.

“Oh Marge. Don’t be so Olive Garden...” said Bob pouring Lisa some wine.

“Yeah the town drunk is only two years old!” said Bart drinking wine.

A baby was drinking wine.

“Hey Mambo mambo! Mambo italiana! Uuuuurp!” said the Barney sounding baby. His diaper fell down as he drank more wine.

Oscar was Skyping this to Barney.

“Holy moly! How did you find my secret love child!? I miss you, Flora!” Barney could be heard over Skype on Oscar’s Mapple pad.

Everyone danced. Bart danced with the old lady. This annoyed her goat.

However, Dinner soon turned sour as Marge praised Bob, Lisa had got really drunk and was embarrassing herself.

“Oops! I’ll get it out with more wine...” she had spilt wine on herself.

Marge sighed. “Now Bob is a pillar of your community!” said Marge.

“But a wanted killer in our community! Hahaha!” Lisa drunkenly giggled.

Everyone was embarrassed by her antics.

“I would just like to say Lisa is being very badly behaved here.” Bart said to the fourth wall leaning over the table.

“And he should be hailed from here to Wing Ding!” said Marge.

“Or jailed in Sing Sing!” Lisa giggled drunk.

“Drunk children tell the most awful lies! Off to bed little girl!” Sideshow Bob took Lisa off somewhere. But in her drunken stumbles she tore off his suit. Revealing he was wearing an orange prison jumpsuit underneath. Had he been wearing that the whole time he was in Tuscany...?

Sideshow Bob gasped.

Everyone else gasped.

“Aaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” Homer screamed.

“Sideshow Bob? In Italiano?” The old lady asked.

Some Italian police read a book on criminals. There was Snake Jailbird for Theft de Casa. (House burglary) Mayor Quimby for some scandal. Peter Griffin for plagiarism.

“Hey!” Peter yelled.

And Stan from American Dad for plagiarism of plagiarism.

“Hey!” Stan Smith yelled.

Then finally there was a crazy picture of Sideshow Bob for “omicido de multiplico!” Multiple counts of attempted homicide!

“Roberto! Is this true?! Did you try to commit murder?!” Francesca asked.

“The boy riled me by foiling my attempts to exonerate a costumed harlequin for armed robbery at the kwik e mart! Oh it sounds so stupid now...” said Sideshow Bob.

“You a murderer in our peaceful mafia controlled town?! You are no longer welcome!!” The old lady yelled at Bob and made a gesture with her teeth that meant get out basically.

Sideshow Bob had a murderous look on his face.

“Uh oh! He’s getting that stabby look again!” said Marge.

The Simpsons quickly got in Mr Burns’s new car and drove off.

“Simpsons! I declare upon you! A vendetta!” He yelled in an angry Italian voice. "Starting with Bart Simpson!"

As the Simpsons fled Marge read a dictionary. “A Vendetta means Aghhhhh! A vendetta!”

The Simpsons screamed.

“He sure goes from normal to murderous so fast!” said Marge.

“Well at least this time it was Lisa that ruined his life!” Bart smirked.

Lisa had a sore head. “Ooooh! My head hurts...”

“It’s a hangover sweetie! A part of a normal grown up’s life!” said Homer.

“Simpson!” yelled Mr Burns. Homer screamed. “Where’s my Lamborghini?! You were due back a month ago!”

“Uh you might be experiencing some technical difficulties!” said Homer sticking a piece of paper over the TV communicator screen.

Mr Burns and Smithers just saw a picture of a naked Homer with the words “don’t go away!”


Homer was in the car, laughing.

“Aghhhh! Dad! Sideshow Bob!” Lisa yelled.

Sideshow Bob was following them on a motorcycle.

Homer went off road.

“Dad! You’re driving on an ancient Roman aqueduct!” Lisa yelled.

“What am I supposed to do? Use it to carry water to distant urban centres?!” Homer asked.

Sideshow Bob followed them on the aqueduct.

“Coooool! It’s just like a James Bond chase scene!” Oscar cooed.

“Make that any action movie chase scene!” said Bart grinning.

“Agh! Dad! Look out!” Lisa warned as they approached the end of the aqueduct.

"We left Hugo behind!" Bart cried.

“Lazy Romans!” Homer yelled.

They fell and landed on a column.

“Okay remember where we parked...” said Homer.

Bob watched as they escaped.

“Awwwwwwww! Why do I keep trying to kill them!?” said Bob. Uh apart from that atomic bomb incident you’ve only tried to kill Bart multiple times and Selma once...

His wife Francesca caught up. She was holding Gino.

“Franscesca I can explain! I will never raise this hand in vengeance again!” said Bob.

“Roberto! If these Simpsons have bought shame upon you, then they bring shame on us all!” said Francesca. “We will swear a vendetta upon them together! Starting with that 10-year-old little boy!”

“Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta for my papa!” said Gino swinging a knife and then juggling it before catching it on its tip. Awww! He’s so adorably evil!

“Ah! Revenge is always best served family style!” said Sideshow Bob. They laughed evilly. However Gino fell out of Francesca’s arms and hurt himself. He cried.

However when Francesca picked him up again he started laughing evilly again.


The Simpsons were wandering around town.

“Oh great...lost in a foreign country...separated from my son car... being stalked by a convicted killer who is after my son Bart... I feel like the Bourne Identity!” said Marge.

Lisa saw a poster of Krusty in a bus doing Pagliacci.

“Look! Krusty is in Italy doing an opera!” said Lisa.

“Aaaaaawwww...! They have that here too?” Homer cried. Uh it was invented in Italy numbskull...

“We must find him! He could help us!” said Lisa.

Krusty was in his studio reading his script.

“No I’m not doing that... That’s not funny... Changing poor leper to nudist with big rack... That’s coming out!” He ruined the script just because he found it boring.

“Krusty help us!” said Lisa.

“No!” said Krusty.

“Sideshow Bob has sworn a vendetta against us!” Bart explained. "That monster tried to murder me!"

“A vendetta?! What’s that? An Italian vending machine?” Krusty asked making a joke.

The Simpsons didn’t find it funny.

“Awwwwww! That was my opener! And my finisher! And my saver!” Krusty cried.

“Please Krusty! We don’t want to be the first Christians to die at the colosseum!” Bart whined. Oscar squinted at him. “Okay the first Christians in modern day times to die at the colosseum...”

“Okay listen up. Put on these costumes and blend in with the crowd scene! He can’t kill ya in front of all those witnesses!” said a Krusty giving them each the right sized costume.

“But I wanna be the phantom of the opera...” said Homer.

“Dad... the Phantom isn’t in this...” said Lisa.

“But I do a great impression of him!” Homer does an impression of him. “Mmmmmmm! I am the gayest supervillain ever! Beware my scented candles! Scented!”

The rest of the Simpsons and Krusty looked at him like he was weird.

Plot 4[]

Krusty was in the colosseum singing that they had no more rice crispies. The audience gasped.

Now how can we enjoy elves advertising rice cereal?!

“Hey don’t blame me! I didn’t write this crap!” Krusty explained to the audience.

“Blast that infernal harlequin! He’s butchering Pagliacci! And they call me a murderer!” Sideshow Bob was spying on the stage looking for the Simpsons.

Gino found them.

Bart gasped when he saw they were being watched by Sideshow Bob. Homer just waved and smiled. Oh Homer...

“Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta!” yelled Gino putting a knife in his mouth and sliding down a rope. He continued to yell Vendetta but it was muffled due to him holding a knife in his mouth.

“I don’t wish to brag. But his evil at an eighth grade level!” Sideshow Bob was proud of Gino.


Krusty then started telling stupid jokes.

“So I had this gorgeous tour guide. I asked her to show me her Naples. And she slapped me!” said Krusty.

“We call it Napoli!” yelled a man in the audience. No you don’t! Killjoy!

“Well you sound like your having a Napoli! Don’t think I can’t hear you being greasy!” Uh...?

However, a trapdoor opened and Krusty fell down through it. Then Sideshow Bob appeared, dressed as Pagliacci. He was singing beautifully.

“He’s beautiful!” Homer cried.

“That’s Sideshow Bob!” Marge explained.

“And isn’t he just magical?” Homer was admiring Bob’s singing...

Gino appeared carrying a knife. The Simpsons tried to get away only to encounter Francesca carrying a knife.

“This isn’t an act! They’re actually trying to kill us!” Lisa yelled.

The audience gasped. However, Sideshow Bob pushed her out of the way and continued singing to enrapture the audience.

When they cried at the end, he laughed evilly and said something in Italian before taking out a knife.

Uh, I don’t think he cares about having loads of witnesses...

The Simpsons and Oscar were cornered and faced certain doom! Until a limo pulled up on stage.

“Get in!” Krusty ordered. They piled in and sped away.

“Krusty! You saved us!” Lisa rejoiced.

“Well I need someone to smuggle antiques out of the country. Everyone take a piece. And hide it well...” Krusty admitted as they broke up a statue and kept a piece each.


The Terwilligers were disappointed even if Gino was still yelling Vendetta and angrily waving his knife. Suddenly a butterfly appeared.

“Farfalla!” said Gino admiring the cute butterfly. “Farfalla vendetta!”

Bob and Francesca were proud of him for trying to stab a poor butterfly.

Gino continued yelling “Farfalla Vendetta!” While chasing the butterfly!

The end!


After the Simpsons escaped with their lives they took a romantic gondola ride through Venice.

“Homer, this was a wonderful idea! So romantic!” said Marge. "But what about Hugo?"

"He probably got horribly butchered by the Terwilligers by now." Homer assumed. "One son is enough, anyway."

“No, I did not! And shame on you, Dad!” said Hugo, appearing. Marge murmured angrily at her husband.

“D’oh!” Homer groaned.

"Hugo!" Marge rejoiced. "Thank goodness you are safe!"

“When the moon meets your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore! When the world seems to shine, like Lisa having too much wine, that’s amore!” The gondola bloke sailing the gondola with an oar sung while Oscar played on a guitar Dean Martin’s "That’s Amore."

The Simpsons passed through the flooded streets of Venice.

The gondola man started singing rudely about Homer to the tune of Dean Martin’s That’s Amore.

“Oooooooh! When the wife looks like that. And her husband is so fat... That’s immoral...when she kisses that jerk, while I do all the work..l”

“Hey! Shut up!” Homer yelled.

“Mi scusi, no speak English.” The gondola man lied. He continued rowing and singing rudely about Homer. “When a big tub of lard...”

The end.