The Girl Who Slept Too Little A stamp museum is being built near the Simpsons. However the construction work wakes them up early in the morning so they campaign against it much to Bart's chagrin. However instead a graveyard is built near the Simpsons, just outside Lisa's window. She gets scared and can't sleep.
The Simpsons are sleeping one morning when Marge is woken by hammering sounds and construction work.
Homer is singing in his sleep.
"Homer do something!" said Marge annoyed as she held pillows over her ears. Homer stuffed one of his pillows in her mouth and went back to singing in his sleep. Marge sighed.
In the attic Hugo frustrated stuck fish heads in his ears to block out the noise...
The Simpsons all eventually got up and went outside to see what the commotion was. Something was being built outside.
"What the cockadoodly doo is going on?" Ned asked as he came out of his house.
Oscar crowed like a rooster until Bart slapped him.
"Flanders I don't need your crap at this time in the morning before my first coffee!" said Homer.
"Well here's a mug of my finest French roast and I'll go make toast!" said Ned giving Homer his coffee and going inside.
”Mmmmmmm! French Toast....” Oscar moaned with joy.
"Stupid best friend Flanders..." said Homer drinking the coffee.
"Why are they building here so suddenly unannounced? don't people say please or may I anymore?" Marge asked.
"No I think they both died in one of those murder mysteries..." said Homer.
"Just what are they building?" Lisa asked.
There was a sign reading Stamp museum with cartoon stamps.
"A stamp museum?!" The Simpsons gasped.
"Coooool! I love stamps" said Bart.
"Ha! Geek!" Lisa teased him.
"Lisa stop that!" Marge scolded her.
"Yeah, you're more of a geek Lisa! You volunteer to stay after school! You give yourself extra homework!" said Bart.
"Okay I get it!" Lisa yelled before mumbling o herself.
“Oh! Stamps? Those are for snail mail!” said Homer.
“Stamps rule! I mean suck! I mean- Oh god! I don’t know! What is happening to me?! (Sobs and has a nervous breakdown)” said Bart conflicted by his love of stamps and trying to be cool.
"Well, this can't continue! We can't be being woken up at seven every morning by noise!" Marge explained. "Someone should protest and get those builders and their museum to vamoose!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Do not bring the stamp museum into this Mom!" Bart retorted. "Sure the sound is ruining my lie ins but Ho boy! A stamp museum!" Bart cheered.
”Geek...” said Lisa.
”Book worm...” Bart retorted.
"Fine... But I want these builders to go away!" Marge yelled. "Now Who's with me?"
"Sorry Marge but this stamp museum could come in handy..." said Homer.
"Dad are you planning to buy novelty stamps again and play about with them...?" Lisa sighed remembering when he made the Elvis stamps kiss the Bats of the south west ones.
"Maybe..." said Homer...
Oscar laughed because Hugo had fish heads stuck in his ears to block out sound as makeshift ear buds.
”Garrrrrblaaaaghhh gah Oz... Rrrrrrrrr! Arrrrrrllllllllghh!” (Get it out of your system Oz....) said Hugo muttering and growling.
The Simpsons except Bart protested against the stamp museum.
“Two, four, six, eight, I hate stamps, they aren't great!” Marge protested with a placard.
“Okay, how about this? Seven, four, three, one-- Oh, wait, that's my pin number. Everyone, forget that!” Homer suggested reciting his cred card number... Hehehehe!
(singing) “Tell me over and over And over again, my friend...” said Snake grinning as he had a notepad and pen.
”Um no...” said Homer.
Bart was on his own with some stamp collecting geeks and Martin protesting for the museum.
”Two, Four, Six, Eight! Repeat after me! Stamps are great!” Bart cheered for the stamp museum.
”Stamps are great!” Martin, Database, Ham and Cosine cheered.
Milhouse went to see Bart.
"I'm sorry Bart but Lisa's right. you're sending geek rays out everywhere!" said Milhouse.
"I am not!" Bart retorted.
"Who's the geek protesting in favor for the sissy stamp museum? I'll pound him!" said Nelson looking to beat someone up.
"Uh no geeks here man!" said Bart dropping his protest sign and running off.
Marge was in kitchen with a grape jello. "Homer we need to do something! the shaking from those jackhammers has shaken all the grapes to the bottom of my jello pudding!" said Marge as the grapes were indeed at the bottom of the jello.
Homer glared at it. "What man would want you now..."
"Um Mr Burns?" Oscar asked.
"Now that's ridiculous!" said Homer. "Why would you think that?"
"Because you all took jello puddings to his picnic..." said Oscar. See There's No Disgrace Like Home.
"Now that's an old adventure! I used to wear a charming striped bathing suit back then!" said Homer.
”Yeah sure...” said Oscar.
"I don't know why Mr Burns asked us for jello if he doesn't like it..." said Marge.
Then Bart was at the construction site thinking of what to do to cause trouble.
"Nah, I already gave the workers silly commands and that was just because the foreman sounded just like me..." Bart said out loud. Then it hit him. He chained himself to a drilling machine's drill bit and asked the driver to drill holes in the ground with him attached to it. the driver did so. Bart was spun around and drilled into the earth and came out dirty and dishevelled with messed up hair and torn clothes.
"Again!". He got spun around and drilled. "Again!" and again... and so on until Bart got dizzy and bruised. "Okay no more." However he got spun around again.
"Wow you got spun around so much you turned into Hugo!" said Oscar.
Dishevelled and very dizzy, Bart vomitted green puke.
Meanwhile Marge was in the rumpus room looking after Maggie as she watched Sesame street.
"All those foreign laborers... I don't even like Maggie watching the Count on Sesame Street..." said Marge looking at the men working on the construction site and then the rumpus room TV that was showing Sesame Street.
"One coconut. Two coconut. Three coconut! Bwahahahaha!" said Count von Count before laughing evilly,
"Go back to your own country!!" Marge yelled at the TV.
"Mom!! That's extremely offensive!" Lisa yelled.
"Yeah especially in front of Ace!" said Bart.
Ace glared at Marge.
"Oops! I got a little carried away..." said Marge.
However Marge lost all her supporters as they didn't like being with a racist...
”I’m sorry, well no I’m not Marge! You really went too far this time!” Apu snapped.
”I’m sorry, I do shows with dictators but I will not work with racists!” Krusty ranted as he stormed off.
”I came to America to find acceptance! And I find people like you here?!” Count von Count snapped offended by Marge.
Meanwhile Bart got out his stamp collection and hummed while sticking in some new stamps and writing what they were.
Oscar came in and flicked his lamp on and off.
”Oz don’t!” Bart groaned.
Oscar got some stamps and stuck them on his eyelids and tongue and wagged his tongue making a face.
”Don’t! Some of those are extremely rare!” Bart yelled. “Geez you’re more annoying than Dad when he is singing in the shower in the morning!”
One Saturday morning Bart is woken by his dad singing Mr Bojangles in the shower.
”Mr, Bojangles! Mr, Bojangles...” Homer sung. Bart sighed and hooded his pillow over his head.
Marge passed his room sighing.
”Stamps rule! I mean, Suck! Oh shut up coolness! I’m a philatelist now!” said Bart arguing with himself.
”Bart! If your mother doesn’t succeed against those stamp Nazis we’ll be at the mercy of weekend philatelists.“ said Homer.
”Why don’t you just say stamp collectors...” Oscar sighed.
”Because I am tired of dumbing myself down for you, Oz...” said Homer.
Whatever got built was completed. a cemetery...
"I thought it was going to be a Stamp museum..." said Lisa.
”I thought it was a giant corn dog!” said Oscar being stupid.
Lisa sighed exasperated.
And Homer's car was driving into it for some reason...
"Stupid rerouting..." Homer moaned.
"No girly, that's still not finished. we've got a few more weeks because your family's shenanigans..." said Raphael as a foreman.
”Let us sleep in!” Marge protested.
”Racists don’t deserve sleep...” said Raphael.
Unfortunately the cemetery was built right outside Lisa's bedroom window.
"Why outside my window?!" Lisa asked staring at the cemetery.
"So the zombies see you first and eat you before us." said Bart teasing her.
"Bart Quit it!" Lisa yelled.
"Fine, but at least your dying screams will give me time to run away..." said Bart.
"Bart there's no such thing as zombies!" Lisa yelled.
"Yes there is! we did a Treehouse of Horror story where I raised the dead!" Bart retort ed.
"Grrrr! Treehouse of Horror episodes aren't canon!" Lisa growled annoyed.
"Yes they are! That's why Hugo is still a family member!" Bart explained.
"Just get out!" Lisa yelled.
"Fine, but those that don't believe in zombies are usually the first to die..." said Bart before laughing evilly.
"Get out and stop scaring me!!" Lisa put him in an arm lock and shoved him out of her room.
Then she screamed because he somehow got outside and pressed his face against her window and was making demented noises with his tongue. "Bart! Don't you have homework to do...?!"
"Yes and I'd really like your help..." said Bart before continuing pulling faces at Lisa. Lisa growled and went downstairs.
That night Lisa couldn't sleep because of the shadows from the graveyard. "I believe in rational science... not ghosts and monsters!" Lisa tried reassuring herself while shivering with fear. Then she screamed when she saw a monstrous shadow and a cat meowing. it was a skull headed cat fiend!
Lisa screamed and ran outside into the hall. She didn't see that the skull headed creature was just Snowball II with a skull on her head. Snowball II meowed and shook the skull off of her head.
Marge and Homer were awoken by Lisa crawling into bed with them.
"Mom! Dad! I'm scared! can I sleep with you two tonight?" Lisa asked already under the covers.
Marge yawned. "Sure dear..."
"I'll make some room..." said Homer. he kicked various things out of the bed. the dog, a portable TV, a blender with some red stuff in it and Marge...
"I was wondering why I could smell margaritas at 3 in the morning..." said Marge.
"Hey I love waking up drunk!" said Homer drinking the contents of the blender in one go.
The next morning Marge had words with Lisa.
“Lisa sweetie, none of our kids sleep in our bed with us. You have to try to stay in your own bed please,” said Marge. “Even Maggie doesn’t wake us up at night anymore. Oh! No wonder why! There’s no batteries in this baby monitor!” Marge found someone removed the batteries from the baby monitor.
“I um needed then for my remote control helicopter.” said Homer.
Marge tried speaking to Lisa but someone was bothering her with a tiny helicopter. “Homer!”
“Sorry. You have a tiny green army guy stuck in your hair! Hold still!” said Homer. He rescued the toy soldier. “No man left behind!” He saluted.
“Homer say something...” Marge wanted his support not for him to play with a toy helicopter.
“Sweetie, If you stay in your own bed tonight I’ll promise to do something special for you.” said Homer.
“Well... That stamp museum is finally built...” said Lisa.
“Oh no! The stamp museum! I was so busy telling vampire puppets to go back to their own countries I forgot!” Marge gasped.
Outside the front of the Simpsons house was a stamp museum. Marge wasn’t happy they couldn’t get out of their drive. However Bart was very happy to have a stamp museum on their doorstep.
Bart was admiring the stamps. “Whoa! The red Lincoln! That one is so rare!” said Bart.
“Geek!” Lisa teases him.
“Lisa stop that!” Marge told her off.
“Teacher’s pet.” Bart retorted.
“I wish! Miss Hoover just thinks I’m a little miss knowitall...” said Lisa.
“Egg sucker.” said Bart.
“Bart don’t call your sister that!” Marge yelled.
“Wow I haven’t been called that one in ages...” said Lisa sarcastically.
They passed several electronic magic paintings like the ones in Hogwarts that spoke to visitors. They were of various inventors.
They listened to the portraits.
“Greetings. I am Frederick Ives. I invented the half tone printing process.” said Frederick Ives.
“Thanks to me, Katherine Blodgett, we now have non reflecting glass.” said Katherine.
“Yeesh! Butterface!” said Homer.
“I heard that!” said Katherine Blodgett.
Then they listened to Alexander Graham Bell.
“And I am Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone.” said Alexander Graham Bell.
“You stole it from me... Elisha Grey...” Elisha Grey whined in a Droopy dog voice.
“Read the patent number Bitch!” said Alexander Graham Bell.
“Who keeps using that Droopy voice?!” Oscar asked.
Then the came to a section advertising stamps based on the kids book Where the Wild Things Are.
“Wow! The Land of Wild Beasts! That’s the first book I ever read all the way through!” said Lisa.
“You read a book all the way through?!” Bart asked.
“Yes. Milton Buckhart’s work has touched me on a whole other level like no other author....” Lisa sighed.
“This is just a rip off of Where the Wild Things Are!!” Oscar yelled.
“It is Where The Wild Things Are! We just mess up the names a little so we don’t get sued.” said Lisa.
“You can’t get sued for parody it’s fair use...” said Oscar.
“That’s right little boy, and with that we were able to create a commercial for our restaurant called The Land of Wild Feasts!” said Lindsey Naegle.
“Cooooool! A commercial!” said Bart.
Lindsey showed them a commercial for a restaurant done in the style of where the Wild Things Are.
“Once a bad little boy was sent to bed without dinner.” said the commercial showing a parody of Max from Where the Wild Things are storming off to bed and tucking himself in.
“And then his parents got reported to social services for child cruelty...” said Oscar interrupting.
Bart hushed him. “Sssshhh!”
Max then was transported to a forest where he saw ominous silhouettes.
“Is this the land of Wild Beasts?” Max asked.
“No. This is the land of Wild Feasts!” said a giant anthromorphic steak. “I’m four dollar ninety nine steak!”
“And I’m all you can eat salad bar!” said a salad.
“And I’m sneeze guard! Keep it under glass!” said Sneeze Guard.
Something gigantic stomped about. “And I’m jumbo shrimp! Only two bowls maximum per customer!” said a giant shrimp.
“That’s Bulls**t!” Homer yelled.
Bart and Lisa were shocked by his language.
The commercial ended with Max sat on Jumbo Shrimp's head tearing out a chunk of him and eating it. "Yum! I always eat at the Hillside Wrangler Steakhouse!"
Bart and Lisa were not impressed.
"That commercial just encourages killing and eating animals!" Lisa ranted.
"Well duh! It's a restaurant..." said Bart.
"Those portions were way too small! two servings of jumbo prawns per customer?! As if!!" Homer groaned.
"I can't possibly eat at a restaurant that serves shrimp! I'm allergic!" said Bart.
Afterwards they went to the gift shop. Homer was making the Elvis Presley Stamps kiss the Bats of the South West stamps again.
"Hello baby! gizza kiss! Squeak squeak! No don't squeak baby! (kissing sounds and smooching)" said Homer doing a bad Elvis impression.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
Ace got annoyed with him.
"Look what your dad has got my pet bats into!" Ace yelled pointing to a bat hugging an Elvis figurine and stroking it romantically before kissing it. "Squeaky get down from there and stop kissing Elvis!" Ace told off his pet bat, Squeaky.
At home Homer was watching TV.
"I don't stick my neck out for no one Frankenstein! grrrrr! No one!" said a man on the TV.
Oscar was debating with Bart what trouble to cause. "I was either going to give Mr Burns a plate of jelly or try to raise the dead again..."
"Oz I'm not helping you raise the dead..." Bart sighed.
"I don't need your help. I snuck your magic book of evil spells out of the restricted section again." said Oscar.
"That's the Occult Section and gimme that!" Bart tried to snatch the red book but Oscar got away and ran off.
It was bedtime and Lisa was reading Land of The Wild Beasts/Where the Wild Things Are. (You hack! it's Where The Wild Things Are!)
Lisa saw someone familiar digging graves in the graveyard.
"Groundkeeper Willy?!" Lisa asked.
"Ach! No... I'm his cousin, Grave keeper Billy!" said Grave Keeper Billy. you see he's got grey hair not red and he's a grave keeper..
"It's my job to fill in the graves! And I ain't buried anyone alive yet! If I had this bell would ring!" said Billy. A bell near a grave rang.
"Ach! Thar's just the wind!" said Billy.
A hand sprouted from the dirt! Aghhhhhh! Zombies!
"Ach! That's just a tree branch! With a nice wrist watch!" Billy stole the buried alive person's wrist watch and smacked their hand with his shovel.
Lisa yelped and shut her bedroom window.
Late that night Marge and Homer got home from a party. Um who was babysitting?! Holy crap! They left the kids home alone!
Lisa who somehow was in her parents room hid under the covers.
"I tell you, I don't care what Apu reincarnated from! I bet he was a boar in the previous life because he was boring me all night." said Marge coming in and removing her ear rings.
"And that Dr Hibbert is such a killjoy! Homer, we need to get that lump checked out! Homer here are your test results! Homer we need to find you a donor..." Homer continues for sometime. "Homer that wasn't funny putting a trick fly ice cube in my drink, a real fly in an ice cube would have been more hygienic. Homer you need to keep Hugo locked up. He bit my kid and gave him rabies..."
"I thought those grownups were your friends..." said Lisa coming out of her hiding place, the blankets on Marge and Homer's bed.
"Oh look who's sleeping in our bed again..." said Marge.
"I didn't know Grownups said such things about each other..." said Lisa.
"Well, you see sweetie. When Mommies and Daddies have been married for as long as we have they run out of things to talk about, they badmouth their friends!" said Homer sitting on the bed next to Lisa.
"But you always taught me it was bad to talk about people behind their backs!" said Lisa.
"I spy with my little eye... A little girl who's not sleeping in her own bed like she promised." said Marge in a sing song voice.
"I know. I'm sorry..." said Lisa.
"And I spy with my little eye, something that has four legs but can't walk..." said Homer.
"Homer we're not really playing..." said Marge.
"Oh! I know! A chair!" said Lisa.
"Great! Now what has two ears but can't hear?" said Homer.
"Grampa!" said Lisa.
"Tragically yes..." said Homer sighing.
"I know! What if we showed Lisa we're not scared of sleeping in her room!" said Marge.
"Ooooh! Beware! You might get a visit from the snuggle monster..." said Homer playfully.
Marge giggled. "Ooooh… I hope he brings the How was your day monster, and the foot rub monster and How about a-"
"Forget it. He's not coming..." Homer grumbled.
Marge and Homer were in Lisa's bed. However the crow from Bart Sells His Soul that was scaring Milhouse was scaring them with it's shadow and scratching the window.
"Yeesh! Lisa's room is scary!" said Homer.
They were back in their room.
"back in the safest room in the house!" said Homer.
"What about Bart's Room?" Marge asked.
"Remember that racing car bed I made him?" Homer asked.
"No..." Marge was confused because that never happened!
"The brakes are shot..." said Homer.
Lisa squinted at Homer.
"Dad... Was this before or after that nightmarish clown bed you made him...?" Lisa asked.
"Stop mentioning the clown bed!" Bart yelled and heard through the thin walls.
Will Lisa ever get over her fear of the graveyard? Will Homer stop bringing up scenes that never happened? And will we ever solve the mystery of the missing babysitter?
"It's season rot jackass!" Homer yelled. "Matt is going senile!"
In the Graveyard Billy and Willie were hunting for gold.
"Ach! So where is this buried gold Billy?" Willie asked.
"Just get in this open grave. Ya lousy drunk!" Billy clobbered him with a shove! Dun! Dun! Dun!
"Fifty bucks says Willie turns up alive and well next episode..." said Bart.
Meanwhile for some reason when Homer was mentioning the racing car bed he made for Bart he meant recently... Not a memory that never happened.
Bart was in a possessed racing car bed that was whizzing round his room crashing into things. "Ow!" crash! "Ow!" crash! "Ow!" etc.
In Marge and Homer's room.
"Lisa do you have to read that book..." Marge sighed.
"Okay I'll watch TV." Lisa replied.
Marge sighed and went to sleep as Lisa switched off the bedside lamp and put the TV on.
There was a Cowboy western. some townsfolk were arguing about a man's sons eating another man's apples.
"Now I don't like your tone partner!" said a man.
Music played and they just stared at each other!
"Lisa do you have to watch this..." Marge sighed.
"Hold on. I think they're about to do something!" said Lisa.
Bart in his car bed drove through the wall into the master bedroom.
"Ow..." Bart groaned.
"Learn to drive!" Homer yelled. Bart's bed drove off somewhere.
The next day Homer and Marge took Lisa too a psychiatrist who wasn't Marvin Monroe or that evil hypnotist guy who hasn't actually done anything evil.
"As a child. Was Lisa nurtured?" the lady psychiatrist asked.
"Uh no. Lisa pretty much just looked after herself. Bart the eldest was such a handful..." said Marge.
"We have this tape just to show you what we mean... Hehehe!" said Homer. the tape was labeled, "Little Lisa- Milwaukee Bucks vs Cleveland Cavaliers pre-game."
The video was of Marge changing Lisa's diaper when suddenly...
“Why you very little!” Homer was strangling toddler Bart!
“Homer! Stop that!” Marge left Lisa to stop Homer from strangling Bart.
Baby Lisa shrugged and taped up her diaper. Heh! Cute!
Back in the psychiatrist’s office.
“Who was recording that...?” asked the psychiatrist.
“Stationary camera.” said Homer.
The psychiatrist gave him a hard look.
“Fine... It was Barney...” said Homer.
“Hi everybody! I’m on TV!” said young Barney before burping.
Later Marge was feeding Baby Lisa.
”Ma- Ma- Mama!” said Lisa.
Marge gasped joyfully. “Homer did you hear that? Lisa said her first word!”
”Marge I’m rather busy here...” said Homer strangling toddler Bart.
Later another scene was recorded.
”Homer you’re supposed to be keeping an eye on our baby daughter!” Marge nagged.
”Oh this green cartoon bear cub is watching over her...” said Homer.
The curious bear cub from Happy Little Elves was sniffing Lisa’s diaper with his big wet shiny green nose. Lisa winced and backed away.
“I see...” said the psychiatrist. “Lisa has had to alone repress her childhood fears but with this book we can help her learn to be a kid again.” “It costs four thousand dollars!”
“For thousand dollars?!” Marge gasped.
“Now Marge we can’t put a price on our daughters happiness... Rub Marge!” Homer grabbed the four thousand dollar book and smashed up the psychiatrist’s office to block the way.
“Mr Simpson I’m not chasing you...” said the psychiatrist.
“Well you can’t! Unless you can leap through fire!” yelled Homer before settling light to her smashed up furniture!
Okay that was insane...
Later that day Oscar went to Mr Burns’s Mansion with Bart and carrying a plate of wobbly green jelly with marshmallows in it.
“Oz why are you doing this? He’s just gonna set his hounds on us...” said Bart.
“I want to see if he actually likes Jello.” said Oscar. He rang the door bell.
“What do you filthy urchins want?!” said Mr Burns angry.
“Surprise!” said Oscar holding a plate of green jelly with marshmallows inside.
“It is not my annual picnic! And I hate jelly! Get off of my property before I release the- Uni clams!” said Mr Burns.
“Uh?” asked Bart and Oscar.
They were chased off of Mr Burns’s estate by a swarm of flying uni clams!
That evening Bart and Lisa were outside the graveyard with Santa's Little Helper.
"I can't keep sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed..." said Lisa.
"Yeah, if Dad rolls over you're dead!" said Bart.
"Mom taught me to build a retaining wall out of pillows." said Lisa. "But I must face my fears!"
Lisa went in the graveyard with Santa's Little Helper when the gates slammed shut behind her! spooky!
"No wait! I change my mind! Bart let me out! Bart?" Lisa cried. However Bart was nowhere to be seen... He had somehow vanished.
Suddenly a security guard walked past.
"Sir help me!" Lisa yelled.
"Oh I don't work here. I'm just visiting another security guard who has passed on..." said the guard mourning a dead colleague buried in the cemetery.
"Well boy, it's just you and me now. but you don't have to stay if you don't want to." said Lisa to Santa's Little Helper.
However Santa's Little Helper jumped on her and over the fence and ran home. Lisa sighed.
Lisa encountered many strange sights in the graveyard. first she gasped at someone with a shovel.
That someone was Dr Nick digging up corpses to harvest body parts...
"Dr Nick?" Lisa asked.
"Hi everybody! I mean, I'm not Dr Nick!" said Dr Nick. "I am the evil Dr Octopus! (He brandishes some arms he took to look like Doctor Octopus) Take that Spiderman! Now I will have upside down kiss with Mary Jane!"
"Eh?" Lisa asked.
Obviously Lisa has never seen any of the Tobey McGuire Spiderman movies...
When Lisa left Hugo popped out of one of the open graves.
"When you're done chatting and making obscure movie references doc, you owe me an arm and a leg, literally…" said Hugo.
Lisa explored but stopped and gasped. She found Oscar near some graves reading from Bart's evil book of spells from Treehouse of Horror III's Dial Z for Zombies.
"Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek!" Oscar chanted. Thunder and Lightning struck. Oscar was wearing his Springwarts robes and a cartoon wizard's hat. (a blue crooked hat with stars and crescent moons on it.)
"Oscar what are you doing?!" Lisa yelled.
"Hold on a minute Lis." said Oscar before finishing the spell. "Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Walmart!"
The graves erupted with green unearthly light. Zombies crawled out.
"Oscar!! What have you done?!" Lisa yelled. "You've made zombies!!"
"Oh please. They prefer to be called the living impaired..." said Oscar.
a zombie moaned and growled.
"Oscar! Run!" Lisa yelled.
Oscar didn't need to be told twice. he ran.
Lisa stopped and gasped. She saw Gravekeeper Billy burying Groundskeeper Willie and laughing madly.
Lisa screamed and ran off somewhere.
Wiggum and his men were patrolling the graveyard.
"Now that graverobber could be anywhere! The important thing is that we stick together..." said Chief Wiggum. However he lost Eddie and Lou and was all alone. "Eep! Okay Wiggum… no back up no squad car... you can do this..." he shone his torch in his face. "Knees trembling, leg cramps, Sweat dripping from brow and groin... Oh geez! I better get out of this uniform before someone sees and shoots me!"
Wiggum stripped off naked. "Ah there's my Walkman!" It was stuck in his folds of fat... Yeeeechh! Wiggum put on some music and danced naked in the graveyard to it!
Oscar saw this and rolled his eyes. Then he had an idea. He quickly flicked through the book of dark magic.
"Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz, Polka!" Oscar casted a spell. Thunder and Lightning struck and Oscar fired eerie green lightning at the zombies. They froze. Then Michael Jackson's Thriller started playing and zombies started dancing!
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
Lisa rolled her eyes at the sight of dancing zombies...
Eddie and Lou were trying to find Wiggum and possibly the grave robber. "I could have gone through law school if I could have afforded it." said Lou.
Meanwhile Lisa was navigating the graveyard. "Now remember what Scooby Doo cartoons taught you. there's nothing to be scared of except militant property developers and media tycoons in costumes..." said Lisa to herself.
However, Eddie stepped on a twig. Lisa gasped at the sound of a twig breaking and Eddie and Lou took out their guns suspicious of something.
"It's just little Lisa Simpson!" said Lou a the put their guns away. "Lisa what are you doing out at this hour?"
Before Lisa could answer an owl spooked them. They screamed.
Then they accidentally spooked naked Wiggum and he screamed at them. Then Zombies were alerted to them and limped after them.
"Braaaaaiiiiins!" said the zombies chasing after them.
Lisa got lost again and dropped her torch.
She ran frightened into a bush and through some brambles into darkness. Then ran back out again chased by flying bats. Then she tripped on a rock and knocked her head on a gravestone. Leaves fell off the gravestone to read "Lisa Simpson. Annoying Sister & Knowitall. RIP"
At Home Marge wanted to know where Lisa was.
"Bart. where's your sister?! It's way past bedtime!" said Marge.
"Yeah where's she gone boy..." Homer threatened him.
"She went to spend the night in the boneyard." said Bart drinking a Buzz Cola and watching TV.
"The cemetery?! Why?!" Marge asked.
"Said she wanted to confront her fears from a rational point of few so I left her to it..." said Bart.
"You left your sister in a graveyard?! And you're just sitting there?!" Marge gasped.
"I figured I'm best just watching the news in case something comes up..." said Bart.
"You're watching cartoons!" Marge yelled.
Bart was watching Itchy and Scratchy. Scratchy saw a theatre was playing a production of Cats the musical. He wanted to see it.
Itchy as an usher was more than happy to find him a seat. He let the musical do the work for him this time.
A character in the play/musical was saying his lines about seeing the Queen in a velveteen hat.
"Geez this is so boring!" said Scratchy before shooting himself in the head.
"Sssshhh!" said an upper-class lady cat. her face was covered in Scratchy's blood.
Bart laughed hysterically. Marge and Homer sighed and went to find Lisa.
Marge and Homer were alone in the cemetery trying to find Lisa. I like how it didn't occur to them to bring Bart and Maggie or call Ned to babysit...
"Lisa! Lisa!" Homer called.
"It's alright! There's no ghosts or ghoulies out here! It's just us! Your Mom and Dad!" said Marge.
"But if we were shape shifting evil spirits we'd probably take the form of those you love!2 said Homer.
"Homer!" Marge told him off.
"What? I'm just preparing her for the worst possible outcome..." said Homer.
They ironically completely passed the gravestone she was at...
Lisa was unconscious. In her nightmare she fell screaming into a green and black vortex.
She then landed on something pink. The lap of a kindly, loving Grandma.
"Don't worry dear, Grandma will protect you." said the grandmother. however she pulled off her face to reveal she was a skeleton ghoul! "But I ain't Grandma!" said Skeletor the ghoul picking her up.
"Well duh! You looked nothing like my Grandma Bouvier or Grandma Mona..." said Lisa sarcastically.
"Silence!" Skeletor yelled before eating her.
Lisa fell in darkness until she landed in a giant spider web. she struggled but found quickly she was stuck. She gasped as a red eyed spider emerged from the darkness. a giant red eyed spider...
However the spider was just Bart.
"Lisaaaa…. prepare to meet your new husband..." said Giant Spider Bart.
Milhouse as a giant slug oozed out of the shadows.
"I slimed us a dreamhouse for our honeymoon! (There was a dreamhouse made of slug slime.... Yeeeuck) I have no idea how slugs are supposed to mate but we're going to have fun figuring it out..." Milhouse wagged his eyebrows.
"Uh... How is this even scary?! this is just disgusting and Bart's just even more obnoxious as a spider..." said Lisa.
Bart frowned and hissed at Lisa baring his fangs. Lisa screamed as the illusion shattered like glass. she fell and fell.
Lisa arrived in a forest.
“Now what?” Lisa asked. With a pop she was turned into a diaper wearing baby. “Oh real mature...”
The Curious Bear Cub leapt out of some bushes.
”Well that’s not scary, that’s cute, Oh what the! Stop sniffing me there!” Lisa winced as the cartoon green bear cub sniffed her diaper with his big wet shiny green nose.
Lisa winced and ran off chased by the bear cub.
She soon was surrounded by monsters from the Where The Wild Things Are rip off The Land of Wild Beasts.
"Welcome to The Land of Wild Beasts!" said one of the monsters. they growled at her.
Lisa was scared and huddled into a ball. "I'm not scared! I'm not scared!" Lisa cried.
Suddenly the monsters stopped being scary and started being friendly. "Oh for crying out loud! Lisa it's alright to be frightened! We all get scared sometimes!" said a monster picking her up
"But I'm too smart to get scared!" said Lisa.
"We all get scared! I'm scared of her!" said the monster holding Lisa as he pointed to a female monster.
"No you're scared of intimacy!" said the female monster.
"Because I know you'll eat me!" said the monster holding Lisa.
"Your brother didn't seem to mind..." said the lady monster.
"You know you monsters aren't scary after all! Hehehe! You're just funny!" Lisa giggled.
The monsters praised Lisa for her bravery.
"But how am I supposed to sleep with that graveyard outside my window?" Lisa asked.
"Why not Just draw the blinds silly!" said the lady monster.
"Or get a night light?" said a fire breathing monster.
"My dad says they're too expensive.... Yet my brother has one..." Lisa sighed.
The Monsters complained about her father's stinginess. "They're four bucks for crying out loud!"
"I could slime your dad!" said slug Milhouse. "Just like I slimed us a Paris holiday..." Eeeeew! Milhouse....
"Uh... No I think I'm all better now..." said Lisa.
"What is it about chicks that they don't dig slime..." Slug Milhouse sighed.
"Yeah I know Milhouse..." said Monkey Oscar from Treehouse of Horror XIII.
Lisa's nightmare soon ended.
Homer and Marge were trying to wake her.
"Lisa please wake up! I'll get you a pony!" Uh you already got her one... "I had to give it back jackass narrator!"
"Pony!" Lisa woke up.
"Uh... This is still part of your dream! dreaming! Dreaming!" said Homer. Lisa frowned at him.
"Sweetie we will get you whatever help you need to conquer your fears..." said Marge.
"Thanks Mom! But I'll be fine. Now let's get home for breakfast..." Holy crap! They were out all night!
"Chief you can come down nown. it's daylight..." said Lou. ah yes the magic of morning light banishing all ghosts and ghouls as if by magic..
"I don't wanna!" Wiggum was naked in a tree.
"Not even for a pizza bagel..." said Lou.
"Let's Roll..." said Wiggum down from the tree and magically dressed as he took the pizza bagel and ate it.
"That was a terrible ending! What happened to the story with Groundskeeper Willie and Gravekeeper Billy?" Bart whined.
Uh... I dunno…