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The Frying Game Homer builds Marge a Koi pond and gets in trouble with the EPA until Oscar helps out in his own way. Then an old enemy returns when the Simpsons go on a house swap programme with the Flanders!

Plot[]

The chalkboard gag is "Spongebob is not a contraceptive." Hehehehe! Spongebob!

The couch gag is the Simpsons as Charlie Chaplin like characters sitting on the couch silently.

.....

The story starts with Lenny and Carl boring Moe with a conversation when Homer comes in with news.

"I just bought my wife a koi pond!" said Homer.

His friends were impressed.

"What's a koi pond? Lenny asked.

"It's an ornamental pond with beautiful fish in it and they fry up nicely." said Moe.

"And you don't even have to feed them because they'll eat the squirrel's that fall in and drown!" said Carl.

"Well, I'll have just one drink and I better get home to build Marge's koi pond." said Homer.

"Oh Homer you old romantic!" said Moe.

...

Homer had somehow succeeded in building Marge's koi pond because when she opened her eyes she was greeted with a beautiful koi pond!

"Oh Homer it's beautiful!" said Marge.

However they heard an awful scream. It was a small red caterpillar screaming.

"Oh my!" Marge gasped.

"Awww! The poor thing is scared. I'll put it out of its misery!" Homer was about to squish it with his shoe.

"Not so fast Mr Simpson!" Boomed a voice on a megaphone.

An EPA helicopter landed and an EPA official climbed out.

"This is a screamapillar! It's a rare and endangered species! It's a felony to harm it!" said the annoying man. "Since it has made your property its home you have to look after it or-" the man nagged but someone shot him with a sniper rifle.

"Oh my god! He's dead!" Lisa gasped.

Oscar arrived with a smoking sniper rifle. It was obvious he was the assailant.

"Oscar!" Bart scolded him.

"What? He was annoying! Now let's squish this annoying caterpillar!" said Oscar about to stamp on the caterpillar.

"No!" Lisa stopped him. "You can't just kill an innocent creature just because it's annoying!"

Lisa looked up the creature. It had some bizarre traits.

"It needs to be constantly monitored. Almost every creature is its predator. It needs to be reassured when worried or it will commit suicide. It's sexually attracted to fire..." said Lisa.

Oscar laughed at that fact. "Stupid horny caterpillar!"

"Are you sure God doesn't want it to die?" Homer asked.

"Daaaaaad!" Lisa whined.

"Lisa I don't like anything with more than four legs! I don't want this thing on my koi pond!" Marge nagged.

"Fine! But get rid of it alive! No squishing!" Lisa stormed off.

Oscar looked about and then took Betsy the slingshot and fired the caterpillar far away with her.

"Hands off of Betsy!" Bart took back his slingshot.

...

Homer and Bart later on after burying the dead EPA guy were trying out his helicopter.

"I know! Let's taunt Arnie Pye!" said Homer. "Mmmmm! Pie!"

He flew the helicopter about town before yelling at Arnie's weather helicopter.

"Hey Arnie! You stink!" Homer yelled at him with a megaphone.

"Are you flying a stolen helicopter?!" Arnie yelled back.

"It's not stolen! It's just that the pilot um sort of died..." said Homer.

He then got arrested by the sky police.

Marge wasn't happy with him.

"Hmmmmm! You're always getting into shenanigans Homie..." Marge sighed.

Meanwhile someone arrived at Moe's that he recognized.

"Oh it's you!" said Moe.

Meanwhile at Springfield Mental hospital. A warden was checking the inmates however he was horrified when he stopped at a cell. "Dear lord!"

...

The Simpsons were watching the news.

"This is Kent Brockman with some breaking news that may concern our favourite family the Simpsons!" said Kent.

Marge turned up the volume anxious.

"Convicted asylum patient Lucille Botzcowski has escaped from Springfield Mental Hospital! Consider her armed and dangerous people and probably heading for the Simpsons!" said Kent.

The Simpsons kids screamed.

"Oh no!" Marge gasped.

"In other news a mysterious old resident of Springfield has been spotted! We'll leave it up to you folks to guess who it is! Could it be: Dr Marvin Monroe? Barney's near identical cousin Barney? Dr Demento? Black Smithers? It could be anyone folks! See you soon at eight o'clock!" said Kent as the news report ended.

The Simpsons were worried.

"Mom what's gonna happen?" Bart asked.

"Nothing dear we won't let any of you be harmed. Your father won't let that happen, will you Homer?" said Marge.

Homer was outside talking to Ms Botz.

"Yeah my wife and I are going out for our anniversary. Can you do next Tuesday night?" said Homer to Ms Botz.

"Homer!" Marge yelled.

"Wait! We've got one secret weapon Bart! Ooooh Oscar..." Lisa called Oscar.

"Yes Miss Know-it-all..." Oscar entered the front lounge.

"Say hi to Ms Botz for us. She's just outside!" said Lisa smirking.

"My pleasure!" said Oscar.

Ms Botz was getting bored with Homer when Oscar arrived.

"Helloooooo, Ms Botz!" said Oscar's voice. We can't see him.

Ms Botz screamed and ran away.

"Well that was easy!" said Homer.

...

The Simpsons relieved she had gone elsewhere sat down to watch TV.

There was a TV program on called House Swap. The contestants were Willie and Skinner and his mother. The Skinners swapped houses with Willie. They looked in his toilet that was decorated with Tartan walls. Scotch whiskey shot out of the toilet because Willie installed a Scotch whiskey fountain in it.

"Seymour! What is that coming out of the toilet!" Agnes asked.

"Looks like Scotch Whiskey, mother." said Skinner.

"We should go on that show! We could swap with the Flanders!" said Marge.

"No way! Absolutely no freakin way!" Homer refused.

.....

But they did. "I can't believe we're doing this..." Homer sighed.

...

Ned and his boys looked around. Rod and Todd were in Bart's room.

"I don't like this clown!" said Rod taking down Bart's poster of Krusty.

"He's evil!" said Todd.

"Uh that's a load bearing poster." Bart explained as the wall's plaster cracked and collapsed revealing a big hole with a Bart-like skeleton in it.

...

The Simpsons settled into Ned's house.

"Look! We can talk to Ned's other neighbors now!" said Homer.

The people living in the house next door on the other side of Flanders house from the Simpsons house suddenly packed up and got into their car and drove far away.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

The Simpsons looked around the house it was boring. Ned had a collection of nun Malibu Stacies, the TV was locked out of all channels except the Christian ones and Ned was rather fancy and old fashioned with his decorations compared to the Simpsons house that was obviously a family with young kids house with bright orange walls and toys everywhere.

Marge decided Ned needed new curtains. She bought purple ones for the lounge.

Bart later came back from the green room after being interviewed on how life in Flanders house was. He hated it.

"And I had so much shrimp in the green room!" said Bart. His family were concerned by what he said.

"Uh Bart... You're allergic to shrimp..." said Lisa.

Before Bart could say "Ay carumba!" His face swelled up with red lumps. "My face! My beautiful face!" He groaned.

"Oh lord!" Marge sighed as she administered his epipen by jabbing him in his arm.

"Well, at least we left that freak Hugo back at our house." Homer commented.

...

Meanwhile at the Simpsons house. Ned was disappointed to find beer in the fridge.

"Maude, the Simpsons have left their demon drink in here!" said Ned.

Maude's ghost floated in through the walls.

"Oh dear, Neddy! What shall we do?!" Maude asked.

"I'd say throw this stuff out but Homer might get upset. Say if he does how about you scare diddly air him with your angry ghost trick?" said Ned.

Ghost Maude turned into a flaming ghost with fire hair. "LIKE THIIIIIIS?" she yelled.

"Yeah. You're so beautiful when you do that honey!" said Ned.

Ghost Maude turned back to normal. "Oh Neddy!" They hugged somehow.

Elsewhere at the Flanders house, Homer tried on Ned's sweaters. However they didn't fit over his fat belly.

"Hmmmmmm! Homer don't try on other people's clothes..." Marge nagged.

"What's it feel like Dad?" Bart asked.

"I don't know, but I feel like reading the bible and doing charity work for some reason." said Homer.

"Aaaaaaaaagh!" The Simpsons screamed.

...

Ned was thirsty but there was nothing to drink except Homer's beer.

"Well I did once drink a blackberry schnapps. And I do make drinks for others. Oh what harm could one drink do...?" Ned tried a Duff.

"What's it like, Daddy?" Todd asked.

"I feel relaxed and a little rebellious." said Ned.

That night, he insulted Ann Landers again.

"Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!" he said to ghost Maude who gasped at his language.

Meanwhile Homer went to work and worked extremely hard for once.

"Smithers who's that fantastic worker?" Mr Burns was watching the security cameras.

"That's oh my! That's Cabbage head Homer Simpson! But he's wearing a new sweater and is actually working!" said Smithers. "I say we fire him. He's up to something..."

"Certainly not! Have him promoted!" said Mr Burns.

Homer was promoted to executive again.

"Promoted?" Marge asked when he got home. "Why that's wonderful Homie!"

"And I did it all by myself without using a robot dummy or by taking drugs!" said Homer.

"What shall we do to celebrate?" Marge asked.

"Charity work?" Homer asked.

The Simpsons screamed.

"Uh I mean go to a fancy restaurant and eat like a pig." said Homer.

"That's better. I guess..." Marge sighed with relief. Those sweaters must be affecting Homer's behavior.

Plot 2[]

Ned, meanwhile, was getting lazier and lazier. He wouldn't open the leftorium, he missed church and was rude to Reverend Lovejoy when he tried to help.

And worst of all, he called Ann Landers a boring old biddy,

One afternoon Rod and Todd were skateboarding on the roof.

"Ned! Get your boys down from there! It's not safe!" said Homer strangely concerned for Ned's boys.

"Why you insufferable- I'll teach you how to raise my kids!" Ned looked as if he was about to fight Homer but they saw how ridiculous they looked in each other's clothes and laughed before changing back into their usual clothes and calling off the house swap.

"Well it was fun-diddly-un while it lasted, Homer!" said Ned.

"Yeah..." Homer replied hugging Ned.

However Marge had left a surprise for Ned.

Ned screamed like a girl. "Purple drapes! All my life I've wanted purple drapes!" He screamed again.

The Simpsons grimaced at the sight of Ned screaming like a girl.

Then they went home to watch the news. Kent was announcing who had returned to Springfield.

"The long lost resident was of course Barney's blond haired cousin Barney! Revisiting his local Bar." said Kent.

Blonde evil Barney was drinking at Moe's and waving to the camera.

"Uh oh.... that doesn't sound good..." said Bart.

"Yeah we had quite a few enemies long ago that I thought we'd never see again..." said Marge.

Homer nervously went to Moe's that evening because Evil Barney was there. However he was preoccupied with someone else as he was arguing with them over British prime ministers.

"Pitt the Elder!" said a man drinking.

"Lord Palmerston!" Evil Barney yelled.

"Pitt the Elder!"

"Lord Palmerston!"

"Pitt the Elder!"

”Lord Palmerston!”

”Pitt the Elder!”

"Right that's it!" Evil Barney beated the other guy up.

"That showed him Barney! Pitt the Elder..." Moe encouraged Blond Barney's behaviour.

"Lord Palmerston!" Evil Barney yelled and he started fighting with Moe.

Homer screamed and ran home.

Meanwhile Bart and Oscar were singing a silly violent version of the Barney the dinosaur theme.

"I hate you! You hate me! Come on kids, let's kill Barney! With a eight inch knife and fifteen bullets in his head! Sorry kids, Barney's dead!" Were the lyrics to their silly song.

"Bart! Oscar! I don't want to hear any violent songs like that! Especially ones about killing Maggie's favourite TV characters!" Marge told them off.

Maggie cried.

Bart sighed.

Homer suddenly came in.

"Homer you're back early!" said Marge.

"Yeah, Barney's evil identical cousin started a fight over British prime ministers again..." said Homer. "I wanted to get outta there before the cops arrive."

There are squad cars outside Moe's.

The door rang. Homer answers it to find the screamapillar. Now gigantic and cross with an arm in a sling and bandages. And some cross EPA agents.

“We’re here to see to Oscar.” said the EPA.

“Oscar, get your butt here!” Homer yelled.

Oscar went to the door.

“Oscar, you’re under arrest for 1st degrees murder, attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery!” said Wiggum, arresting him.

Oscar laughed hysterically when he said he had committed buggery somehow. “A hahahahaha! Buggery! Hehehehe!”

“This isn’t funny, Oscar. For the murder alone you could be facing the death penalty. But these environmental guys think a more suitable punishment would be looking after the screamapillar.” said Wiggum.

Oscar gulped.

Once again Lisa was explaining all the things wrong with the screamapillar. That apart from it screaming, it was prey to all kinds of predators. That it needs constant comfort and reassurance or it will die and that it was sexually aroused by fire.

Oscar laughed.

“Oscar take this seriously please...” Lisa sighed.

Oscar was carrying the screamapillar which for some odd reason was now the size of a baby human. He was burping the screamapillar. It vomited green puke down his back.

“Eeeeew!” Oscar groaned.

Bart stifled a snicker.

”Give me one reason why don’t kill this thing that just barfed down my back!” Oscar ranted.

”One it’s a living thing. Two. Babies puke. Would you kill a baby, Oz...” Lisa frowned at Oscar.

”I don’t think we should ask him that Lisa...” said Bart nervously.

...

The Simpsons admired their koi pond.

“Finally somewhere peaceful where I can be alone with my thoughts!” said Marge. She thought long and hard.

“How much money did he piss away on this one?” Marge’s Brain said to herself.

The screamapillar screamed.

“Right that’s it! Lisa and the EPA be damned!” Oscar yelled and torched the screamapillar with a flamethrower. It moaned aroused and giggled pervertedly as it died.

“Oscar!” Lisa yelled.

“It had to be done.” said Bart.

“Anyway. I like our koi pond garden! Finally I have somewhere to meditate!” said Lisa. She’s at cross legged by the koi pond and meditated. “Oooooooommmm.... ooooooooooommmmm....” she chanted.

Marge sighed.

Oscar went indoors to watch Dr Foot.

“Not so fast, Dr Foot!” said a male voice on the TV.

“Oh! My bunions!” said Dr Foot.

Oscar laughed.

Suddenly the EPA came in with Wiggum.

“So the man child won’t take his medicine ey?! Oscar I’ll be seeing you in court!” said Wiggum.

Oscar was hauled before Judge Snyder. In the witness box was an angry screamapillar wearing a neck brace and bandages.

“Oscar for insecticide and aggravated buggery I sentence you to community service delivering meals on wheels to old people.” said Judge Snyder.

“Hehehehe! Aggravated buggery...” Oscar laughed.

Judge Snyder grimaced exasperated.

...

Oscar delivered a meal to Abe.

“Hey wasn’t there a cobbler with this?” Abe asked.

“They discontinued the cobbler Abe...” said Oscar.

“You smell like cobbler!” said Abe.

“Now now... this is not the time to discuss who smells like what...” said Oscar.

His next client to deliver a Meals on wheels meal to was... Matt Lucas dressed as an old man still living with his mother. Who must be extremely old!

“Matt the meal isn’t for you! It for your elderly mother whom I haven’t seen so I suspect you made her up to get free meals!” Oscar yelled. “And stop apologising to the butt hurt libtards! Blackface is funny!”

...

Meanwhile at Moe’s an African head hunter cannibal came in for a beer.

“Hey newbie. What’s your job?” Moe asked him.

”I am a head hunter.” said the head hunter...

Homer screamed. “Aaaaaaaagh! Don’t eat me! I taste terrible! Eat Lenny! He’ll go great with some rice!”

“Ohohoho! Have no fear my friend! That is a common misconception! My tribe only eats the sick and recently dead!” said the head hunter guy carrying a big spear.

Back to Oscar he delivered to someone only to find someone graffitied on his bicycle rickshaw so instead of saying Meals on wheels. It said Meals on wheels On Wheels!! With the second On Wheels in crudely tagged black spray paint. Oscar growled. “Grrrrrr! Willie!!” No not Groundskeeper Willie. That famous Wikipedia vandal.

Then Oscar delivered a meal to Mrs Glick the creepy old lady who’s candy dish he bought to keep anything except candy in it to troll her.

However she also wanted him to do her gardening.

“Okay...” said Oscar.

There was slime in her gutters and her garden was an overgrown jungle. Oscar hurt himself trying to pull up a weed.

Mrs Glick found him injured. “Oh my! You poor child! You’re hurt! Let me put some iodine on you!”

“Thanks Mrs Glick but that’s wont be ness-Aaaaaaaghhhh! It burns!” Oscar screamed when she put Iodine on his wounds.

Anyway Oscar’s next client was the grandma from Evil Grandma and the ungrateful grandson.

She tried to kiss him.

Oscar fled and hid in the closet of deadly mothballs.

”Oh yeah the deadly mothballs...” said Oscar.

Then the Videogame version of Timmy Turner’s great aunt who pinches his cheeks.

The grandma or great aunt as a crab monster thought he was cute and wanted to pinch his cheeks.

“Oh no! I wish for cheeks of steel!” said Oscar. Quiffy gave him steel cheeks that hurt the boss when she tried to pinch them.

Then there was the stop Grandma from kissing you with her deadly kisses level. Oscar defeated the boss.

“But but... that’s not a boss! It’s an endurance game to see how long you survive!” Bart protested as Oscar some how killed the evil Grandma.

Oscar was baffled.

...

As a result of killing the evil Grandma Oscar was sent to prison.

“That is a video game character!” Bart yelled.

In court this time as well as an angry screamapillar with a neck brace there were angry old folks.

“Oscar you leave me no choice but to sentence you to a maximum security prison!” said Judge Snyder.

Oscar was horrified.

As he was walked to his cell he was brought past that chap from The Green Mile film played by Michael Duncan Clark.

“Take my hands boss.” said Green Mile Guy.

Oscar stupidly went up to him.

Green Mile Guy grabbed him by the neck and strangled him. “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!”

The guards pulled him off of Oscar and took him to his cell.

Green Mile Guy then spoke to his pet mouse. “You want some corn Mr Jingles? Well too bad! Because I’ll kill you!” He shouted at a mouse. Um...

At home.

Bart was watching the news.

“And the elephant who couldn't stop laughing was put to death.” said Kent.

Bart cried and bawled his eyes out.

”Oooooooh!” Marge was cross with Kent again.

Meanwhile Ms Botz was back planning some sort of revenge against the Simpsons. I um can’t write an evil babysitter very well.

Then the Screamapillar was now gigantic and breathing fire as it terrorised a city.

Then Carmen Electra made a cameo and a guy with braces kept killing old people.

And the lady in The Crying Game turned out to be a man!

In Springfield Penitentiary the Yeeeeeees Guy or Frank Nelson type was a guest warden.

”Hey flat foot.” asked Snake in his cell.

”Yeeeeeeeeees?” said yes guy.

”Is there a mobile library?” Snake asked.

”Why Yeeeeeeeeees!” said yes guy.

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