The Day the Earth Stood Cool Devil Donuts and a cool hipster family move in next door who are very relaxed with parenting. Much to Marge’s annoyance. And they breastfeed their baby daughter. Annoying her more as she bottle fed all her children.
There are no title sequence gags as we open straight into the episode at the park. Bart climbs on top of the monkey bars and stamps across them stepping on the fingers of kids hanging on.
”Ow that hurts!”
One of the kids was his friend Milhouse.
The kids all fall off letting go of the monkey bars because Bart stepped on their fingers.
”Bart get down from there! If you fall you’ll get hurt!” Homer yelled.
”Oh what a cute little rascal!” said a pretty blonde lady in a jogging kit exercising.
“My son? Sure... he’s cute...” Homer sighed as Bart’s behaviour was anything but cute.
“He’s cute alright. So cute I want to eat him!” Oscar was being um...
”Oz stop hitting on me! I’m not interested...” Bart groaned.
”Not that kind of cute! Cute like a puppy or a kitten...” Oscar sighed.
“I can see where he gets his good looks from....” the woman flirted with him.
”Oh my god! Is she flirting with me?!” Homer’s Brain said internally.
”Mmmmmmmmhmmmmm! Rugged...” the lady flirted with him.
”Oh my god! She is flirting with me!” Homer’s brain screamed.
”Mmmmmmmhmmmmmm!” The lady giggled.
”Now come on big guy.... let her down gently, don’t go breaking any heats... especially Marge’s...” said Homer’s Brain in internal monologue.
”Why you no good athletic hussy! Get away from my husband!” Marge yelled and got into a cat fight with the lady with the slapping and hair pulling.
”Okay! Okay! Let go! Geez! I just thought it was very nice to see a Grandpa take his Grandson to the park...” said the lady breaking away from Marge who was fighting her.
”Grandpa?!” Homer and Marge yelled.
”Lady! I’m his dad! I’m not that old!” Homer sighed. “I can’t believe I let you flirt with me!”
”Homer...” Marge sighed.
”Oh geez! Like Eeeeeeeew! What happened?!” The lady groaned.
”Shoo! Lousy mallards! I’m not old enough to share bread with you!”
“Lady that’s my dad... my Grampa is a shrivelled up corncob waiting to die...” said Barr.
”Bart! That’s a horrible thing to say about Grampa!” Marge told him off.
Grampa Abe was corn.
”Someone put butter on me....” said Abe as a corn cob.
”Hhhrrrrrrrmmmm....” Marge sighed exasperated.
”Come on....” Corn Abe insisted.
Homer was suddenly at work at the Plant annoyed people thought he was old and uncool.
”I am not old! I am sexy! Young and sexy! You think so right, this funny drawing of me?” Homer was looking at a drawing of himself smiling and driving a car with rap music playing because he wrote on the drawing it was so.
”Hehehehe! I am happy Homer! And I am driving in my tiny car playing rap music!” said the Homer drawing.
”Uh okay...” said Homer.
He went to the cafeteria. Something was different about the donuts his friends were eating. They were bigger and nicer.
”Those aren’t our regular donuts! They’re bigger! And with exotic toppings and fillings! Gummy worms! Churro chunks! Russian nesting donuts!” Homer gasped. Lenny was eating donuts that were inside donuts,
”Out of my way ladies and gents! I must sample these delectable donuts!” Homer headed for the white donut box. However to his anguish it was empty except for crumbs and grease marks from the donuts. “Oh no! They’re gone!”
Homer read the logo on the box, it was a leering devil with a wicked grin wearing a chef’s hat with a donut on his pitchfork. Devil Donuts was the brand. Homer screamed. “Oh my god! You all sold your souls to the devil for one measly box of fantastic donuts!?”
The devil from treehouse of Horror XI appeared in a burst of hell firs and laughed maniacally.
”No... they were handing those Devil Donuts out at today’s sexual harassment seminar.” said Lenny.
At a seminar.
”No Carl.... there is never a right time in the work place to use the word bazongas...” said the seminar speaker.
”What about thunderbags?” Carl asked.
”Out of my way perverts!” Homer stormed in. “Gary, got any more of these Devil donuts?”
“Sorry Homer, sent the last batch to Sector 7G cafeteria. Probably all eaten now. And the devil is very happy to collect Lenny, Charlie and Dana’s souls today. He says it’s like Christmas for him.”
Homer cried and plotted how to find the truck that made those donuts he never got to try.
“From a guy in a cart with the logo on?! That could be anywhere!!”
Homer found Chief Wiggum.
”Chief we have an emergency!” Homer cried. Wiggum sighed drinking his coffee. “A missing donut cart!”
Wiggum spat out a mouthful of coffee. “Oh my god! That is an emergency! Get in Homer!”
“All units I’m calling about a missing donut cart! I repeat! A missing donut cart!” Wiggum called all his units over something stupid like a donut cart...
Wiggum drove Homer about. “I’m not seeing any Devil Donut carts...”
”Chief, some poor lady is being murdered...” Lou explained on the radio to a victim.
”Some poor lady’s being murdered... mimimimi....” Wiggum did a sarcastic voice.
“Chief look! Devil Donuts!” Homer yelled.
”We have a logo people!” Wiggum replied.
They stopped the car and approached the donut Van with caution.
”They warned me Satan would be attractive...” said Wiggum wiping his brow.
The big angry Red Devil from Treehouse of Horror XI was wearing an apron and a chef hat.
”Bwahahahahaha! Come! Come closer mortals! Freshly made donuts with crazy toppings and delectable fillings! They’re yours my friends... for a price... and I don’t take cash...” the devil laughed.
”Do you take Visa?” Homer asked.
”Mwuhahahaha! No! I meant one donut each will cost you.... your very soul!! Bwahahahahaha!” The devil laughed as he baked unholy donuts.
Homer rolled his eyes at the fourth wall. “The donut cart owner is supposed to be a trendy hipster dude, narrator...”
This is cooler and hilarious!
Terrance a hipster with face piercings, glasses, skin head, wearing a seatbelt for a trouser belt arrived. “I’m Terrace and this is my devil themed donut truck narrator...
Unholy donuts! Bwahahahahaha!
”Oz you’re getting obsessed again like that time we went to a chocolate factory Satan opened in Hell...” Homer sighed.
”I’ll swallow your chocolate covered soul!!” Satan from Treehouse of Horror XI yelled while dressed as Willie Wonka. I’ve been dying to bang out that line from a demonic Wonka YouTube video’s comments section...
”Anyway. Unfortunately I only make one batch of donuts a day, and no they don’t cost you your souls... just your diet...” said Terrance.
”Oh but the author has a thing going...” Satan groaned.
”Make more now! Or I’ll shoot you!” Wiggum pointed his gun at Terrance.
”He’s serious...” said Homer.
”Look, tell you what. Here’s a prototype of one of my new donuts.” It was shaped like a beer keg.
”It’s shaped like a beer keg!” said Homer.
”Made with beer batter and whiskey syrup as the filling...” said Terrance.
”Tell us about yourself Terrance.” said Homer.
”Well I’m from Portland.” said Terrance.
”I know about Portland!” Homer gasped. “Actually I don’t. I just think it’s polite to try to seem like I’m into things about you like your place of origin,”
”I have a beautiful wife and two kids...” Terrance continued.
”Shut up! You’re not a father! You’re too young and cool looking to be a withered, tired out and stressed overworked Dad!” Homer yelled in disbelief.
”Oh I run my own donut business you see here... Satan please.... enough now... And I’m a hipster so I’m a young, relaxed new aged parent.” said Terrance.
”Oh the kind that want to be friends with their kids instead of enforcing bedtimes and rules...” said Homer.
”Rules are lame... Homeslice...” said Terrance.
”What brings you to Springfield? I mean it’s not much of a place here.... I’m just saying...” said Homer bad mouthing his home town.
”Well actually my family and I are urban nomads. We travel about looking for cheap housing!” said Terrance.
”My neighbourhood is full of cheap housing! In fact the brown house next to mine has been on sale for ages!!” said Homer. “Mostly because I put off potential owners by peeing in the backyard every morning naked... And a deranged psychopath and former kids entertainer called Sideshow Bob who keeps harassing my son moved in briefly.“ said Homer.
”Hmmmmmm... interesting....” said Terrance.
”Uh you’re not put off by the sight of me peeing naked every morning?” Homer asked.
”Nope...” said Terrance.
”Or that a psychotic attempted murderer and terrorist and violent maniac with bad hair used to live there...” said Homer.
”Not the slightest Homer.” said Terrance.
”Woohoo!” Homer cheered.
Terrance looked at the brown house on Evergreen Terrace.
”This house is wonderful! Under all of it there are Neutra bones!” said Terrance.
”In my house we found Human bones...” said Homer.
Oscar screamed in horror.
”Oh I want to move in right now!” said Terrance.
”Well you can’t! I live here!” said Dan Gillick in a vest and underwear with minions from Despicable Me behind him in the house.
”Banana...” said the minions.
”Well I need the house for the episode! Get out!” Matt Groening yelled.
”I can’t believe you befriended and convinced New Age hipsters to move in next door! You know how I hate young new aged we don’t believe in rules! parents!!” Marge ranted. “Kids need bedtimes and rules! Mom and dad aren’t friends! Their grouchy old fun police who love their kids with harsh regimes and know what’s best for them!” Marge nagged holding this next scene in the master bedroom.
”Marge chillax! They’re not the worst neighbours we’ve had living next door opposite Stupid Flanders...” said Homer.
”Chillax? Oh god! Now you’re talking like those! Those hipsters!” Marge snapped.
”Now sweetie let us have a montage remembering all our previous horrible neighbours!” said Homer.
”Mr Simpson! Your dog is digging up my backyard!” Mrs Winfield nagged over a phone call.
”Mr Simpson! Put on some underwear!” Mrs Winfield nagged.
”Mr Simpson! Take in your rotten pumpkins! They’re disgusting!” Mrs Winfield again....
”Mr Simpson! Your son broke one of our windows!” Mrs Winfield nagged holding a baseball Bart threw or hit with a bat and went threw her window.
”Mrs Simpson! You’ve upset our nephew Jules again!”
“What does Marcellus Wallace look like!?” Jules Winfield shouted.
”Run fat boy! Run!” Mr Winfield laughed.
”Bllleeeeeeuuuugh!” Monster child Winfield who lives in the basement with his eyes rolled back and inside out eyelids groaned.
”Homer! Not all the neighbours that lived in the Brown house were bad...” said Marge.
Marge imagined Ruth Powers moving in with her daughter Laura.
”Hi Marge.” said Ruth sweetly and nicely.
”Marge she undermines your Stephord wives plastic fantastic ‘Cannabis are evil!’ lifestyle, and I use that as ammunition when I want to get back into pot...” said Homer.
”Her daughter Laura is a wonderful babysitter!” Marge snapped.
”Hold on! We all remember who moved in next...” said Bart wearing his lucky red cap coming into the master bedroom.
“Hello Bart!” Sideshow Bob as Walt Warren said in his baritone voice as his leitmotif played.
Bart gasped horrified.
”Hello Bart!” Bob as Walt was clipping the bushes into Bart shapes.
”Hello Bart!” said Bob as Walt menacingly.
“Hello Bart!” Bob as Walt called as Marge drove Bart somewhere.
”Yeah but the Winfields are still worse...” said Homer. “Then there was the last neighbour, Dan.
Dan Gillic was mowing the lawn. A frisbee flew over.
”Whoops Homer!” said Dan in a friendly manner.
Bart was then tossed over.
”Oof!” Bart grunted.
”Hi Bart!” said Dan.
Marge sighed. Both of them had a point. They had worse neighbours living there in the brown house but they also had good neighbours. But Terrance and Emily would be moving in. No arguments.
The Simpsons and their kids, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Hugo and Eric went to greet the new neighbours of the brown house. They also brought Grampa, Oscar and that strange Tiny Tim Kid Homer does a Mickey Mouse like voice for who asks him constantly for candy.
”Daddy, will there be candy?” said Tiny Tim Simpson limping on crutches.
”Oz stop using that character!” Homer whined.
”Never!” Oscar chuckled.
”Now everyone listen. This is our first hangout with the cool new neighbours.” said Homer. “I’ve already blown them away. Their words, I assume. So don’t screw anything up!” Homer snapped, glaring at Bart and Hugo in particular.
Lisa was carrying a Tupperware container with food inside. Possibly potato salad that took three days to make...
”Kids relax... just be yourselves...” Marge sighed.
“Oh great Marge! Now that’s in their heads!” Homer whined.
Bart and Hugo laughed deviously. Oscar laughed hysterically in madness carrying a squeaky toy hammer.
”D’oooooooh! Bart behave! No shenanigans! Hugo! No mad science experiments on the neighbours! Oz, don’t be silly!“ Homer groaned chasing the three boys.
They met the neighbours.
”This is my beautiful wife Emily.”
”Please to meet you.” said Marge.
The Simpsons were startled to see Terrance had an armadillo instead of a dog or cat. “This is our pet Armadillo, Chewie.”
“Raaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Oscar growled like Chewbacca.
”No.... As in Mexican Chewie, not Star Wars Chewie...” sUd Terrance.
”Spoil sport...” Oscar groaned.
”Chewie from Star Wars is a man in a suit. That’s not scary...” said Homer.
”This our baby daughter Courduroy.” Their daughter squealed and babbled.
”Awwwwwww!” The Simpsons cooed.
Maggie was jealous and crossed her arms and frowned sucking her pacifier.
”And our son T. rex.
”Hi new neighbours... whoopee...” the black haired boy groaned.
”T Rex?! Even their names are cool!” Homer gasped.
”Oh my god! You’re named after a dinosaur!” Oscar gasped. “I wanted to be called a dinosaur name! But my parents named me Oscar...” he sighed. “And I can’t legally change my name by deed poll yet...”
”Um.... these are my kids errrrr, Ice cream... (Mmmmmmm baby ice cream....) Bungee jump...” He tousled Bart’s spikes “And Viral video.”
Marge muttered and hummed annoyed. “Their names are Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie. My husband also ignored our other son Hugo because apparently he is too embarrassed to tell people our twin sons were tragically born conjoined at the hip. It was a dangerous procedure to separate them. Which had to be done because Hugo kept biting Bart.”
“Bart was biting me!” Hugo whined.
”You’re the craaaaaazy twin... remember...” Bart teased him.
Homer seethed as a Marge aired their embarrassing secrets.
”And this is our youngest son, Eric. Apparently my husband won’t wear a condom because he finds they make relations in the bedroom boring and I suffer from bouts of hyper broodiness!” Marge ticks as suddenly she feels extremely broody. “Homer I want another baby, right now!”
Homer sighed embarrassed.
The kids went in T.Rex’s room.
There were toys and posters everywhere and he supported West Ham.
”Woooooow!” And excited chatter.
”Oh god he supports West Ham! It burns! They are such losers!” Oscar groaned.
”Are not!” Rex argued.
”Are too dinosaur boy! I’m a Gooner and proud!” said Oscar.
”Obscure card games! Do you have UNO?” Lisa asked seeing packs of card games.
”I did.... When I was UNO....” said T ReX sarcastically and rudely because he’s cool and edgy so being cool means being extremely rude to people...
”You were not me! That’s insane!” said Nigel Uno.
Bart saw some soldier dolls.
”Sergeant Activity Dolls!” He said eagerly remembering that doll he had once when losing his last baby tooth made him have a mid life crisis.
”No.... That’s a Combat Jack doll. The original British doll that Sergeant Activity ripped off...” T.Rex rudely explained. Bart rolled his eyes.
”Which in turn is a crude parody of the British action figure, Action Man... which Matt is too frightened to reference because he thinks he could get sued...” said Oscar. “Could also be a reference G.I Joe dolls”.
”Fine.... You have a weirdo version of something... let’s just watch TV....” Bart groaned.
”Uh... Tee Vee? We don’t have a own a TV...” said T Rex. How sad....
“How sad...” Oscar said sarcastically in a aloof manner like Rex.
”I didn’t know that was an option!” said Lisa.
”I’m done here.... Lisa go nuts....” said Bart leaving.
“Dad only lets me watch what’s on his Mypad.” said T Rex. He put on a stupid cartoon with a pink sky train with a face and a girl being kidnapped by a female kangaroo carrying her in her pouch.
“If I don't get off the Cloud Palace, I'll never get home for school tomorrow, but the Toad Spirit has Aunt Ginzee!” the girl kidnapped by a kangaroo cried.
Lisa gasped interested in the bizarre cartoon.
”That didn’t even make any sense?! That was just random crap smooshed together! I could do that!” Oscar ranted.
Marge and Maggie hung out with Emily and her baby, Courduroy but Marge didn’t know what satire was. How sad....
”We’ll I think Maggie is hungry.” Marge got out a baby bottle.
”Oh I’ll feed my baby too.” Emily breastfeeds her baby.
Marge was horrified. And gasped.
”Marge your breasts are for feeding your baby....” said Emily.
”I thought they were for perverts to ogle at...” said Marge.
”Homer I want to go home!” Marge whined being a stick in the mud. “Hey!”
However She found Homer was completely bald. No combover or Ms on his ears.
”Oh my goodness you’re bald! Not hairless stressed out Dad bald but Bald!” Marge gasped.
”Relax sweetie. Terrance shaved me! Now I’m young cool guy bald and not tired old aged too quickly Dad bald...” said Homer. “Or Billy Zane instead of Patrick Stewart.”
”All hearts return to darkness!” Billy Zane wearing an Ansem wig yelled. “Homer I don’t find my baldness cool. I’m actually embarrassed...”
Then at home...
”You turned our backyard into a Monoyard with shared gate?!” Marge was horrified.
”Cool neighbours share their backyards....” said Homer. “bye Bye Flanders! I have a new friend now!”
“Okilly Dokilly!” said Ned.
”I can finally compost!” Lisa said gleefully as she carried old mouldy vegetables and ran into Terrance’s backyard and poured them into the composter and stirred the compost.
”Incredibly fertile soil made of rotten organic matter that plants really love.” said Hugo.
”Nyaaaaaaaargh! Scare-Barts! I mean Bart Crows!” Bart screamed because there were effigies of him in a pile across from where the composter was. They had been smashed up and torn apart.
”Hmmmmmmm! When I think of all the time Dan lived here he never bothered to remove Bob’s stuff...” Marge sighed.
Homer cried and Bro hugged Terrance. “Terrance called me Cool! I’ve never been cool! Because I never went to college! (Sobbing)”
”Yes you did! In Homer Goes to College Episode three of season five!” Oscar and Comic Book Guy yelled.
”Because nuclear safety inspectors made you because you were under qualified for your job!” said Comic Book Guy.
”D’oh! Stupid continuity!” Homer groaned.
”You went to college? Why would you hide that Homer?” Terrance asked.
”Because I didn’t go there in my youth to study for a major and a minor degree to get a job. I was made to go to keep my job I wasn’t qualified academically to do because I blagged my way in...” Homer groaned.
”You’re our nuclear safety inspector and you’re under qualified?! You can’t do your job?!” Emily gasped.
”Yeah this Guy is responsible for making sure we don’t die in a melt down...” said Bart. “One he once caused and averted by playing Eeny Meany Miney Moe with the console buttons....”
Homer growled at Bart.
Oscar was playing with plastic dinosaurs.
”You play with dinosaurs...” T Rex was getting ready to lay down some insults and aloof retorts.
”Yes... dinosaur boy...” said Oscar.
”Ugh! That’s gonna be your retort for everything! Oh look! My name is T. rex! That means I’m a dinosaur....” T Rex sighed.
Meanwhile Oscar insisted Devil Donuts was a cover for the devil to sell donuts in return for souls....
Satan from Treehouse of Horror laughed maniacally.
The Simpsons and Terrance eland his family sighed and sweat dropped.
”They’re unholy donuts..... or unholey....” Oscar made a stupid pun.
”No we make plenty of ring donuts as well as jelly ones.” said Terrance.
The Simpsons were taken with their new neighbours. Bart and Lisa found T Rex’s aloofness and course responses to be rude though and they found it weird his family didn’t watch TV.
”Why watch mainstream media when there are budding artists and individual developers crying out for revenue.” said Terrance.
”Would you empty your allowance on the same instalments of Halo or Mario, or would you support a new fresh idea from an Indie developer....” T Rex asked.
”Well to be honest Nintendo are being really selfish with their Metroid IP and not making a game for the 30th anniversary and they just shut down a non profit fan game! Which falls under fair use!” Oscar ranted. “So yeah I bought this indie game called Axiom Verge that’s a lot like Super Metroid on the SNES. The best one in the series....”
T Rex nodded.
”Oz how would you like it if you were stuck for ideas involving whatever project Teddy, Clownja, Dino etc are part of so had to sit thinking for a while and someone used your characters to make something new because they thought you were being selfish not releasing a new spin off or season...” Bart sighed.
”I’d give them a job at my media corporation and make their project canon....” said Oscar.
However, Marge did not like the new neighbours one bit.
”She breastfeeds and makes a big deal,like it’s normal! I never breastfed because I was unnerved seeing our son Hugo bite Bart!” said Marge.
”Mooooom! I’ve told you a zillion times! Bart turned out to be the bad twin! He was biting me!” said Hugo.
”Oh... sorry dear.” said Marge.
Homer took The kids to Protozoa Records. A hipster record store.
”Mmmmmm... Prokaryotic...” Hugo sighed.
Bart rolled his eyes.
They were with Terrance and T Rex looking through records.
With George Harrison singing Got my mind set on you. There was a montage what activities they did that week.
Monday they went to a rock show, Tuesday they watched Mexican wrestling/Luchador, Wednesday they went to the roller derby, Thursday they went to a Korean gang movie.
That one Thursday evening Bart, Hugo and Lisa came home very late.
“Homer! It’s a school night!! Where have you been?!” Marge yelled.
“Dad took us to a Korean gang film festival!” said Bart as Marge ushered the kids up to bed.
”He did whaaaaaat?!” Marge yelled.
”It was cool! This guy was in a Korean gang, I mean kkangpae. Then he joined another kkangpae. Then the guys from the first found out and the shoved him feet first into a cocaine grinder like Benicio del Toro!” Bart continued while Oscar in the background stuffed Benicio del Toro in a giant blender. “Then they cut to this guy eating noodles and blood splattered all over him!” Bart described as he got undressed and put his pyjamas on.
”And then we went to an art gallery where there was just a man crying. That was the art!” Lisa explained eagerly.
Marge hmmmmmed annoyed. “Kids get your jammies on and get to bed, I’ll be in a sec to read you a story each.”
Marge had things to say to Homer.
”You bought our kids back home late tired and a mess! They’re exhausted and pretentious!” Marge yelled.
”No no no! Cool parents should take their kids to adult things... That’s Terrance’s parenting style....” said Homer.
”Style?! Parenting doesn’t have a style! Parenting is enforcing bed times! Passwords on computers and dishing out complex punishments you never follow through with! We’re not Bart and Lisa and Hugo’s friends! We’re their mother and father! And we love them by showing that love with boundaries and rules! Because we know best!” Marge ranted. “Are you wearing a chain attached to your wallet?! You look like a barista!! And you know Hugo hates baristas!”
”This stops a lot of pick pockets!” said Nomer.
”Until they decide to mug you!” Marge retorted. “And ugh! Why is your scarf sweaty?!”
”Wearing scarfs in none scarf weather is cool!” said Homer. “Good day!” He flicked his sweaty scarf and it slapped a wall splattering lots of sweat across it. Eeeeeeeew!
The Simpsons and Terrance’s family had a barbecue. A Korean barbecue.
”I’d provide the dog meat but Bart’s rather fond of Santa’s Little Helper...” said Oscar trying to drag the dog to the barbecue.
”Oz don’t be a jerk! Leave my dog alone! We’re not eating him!” Bart snapped.
”Uh where in the very short time on this Earth you’ve lived have you learned that Koreans eat dogs?!” T Rex winced.
”It’s a well known fact Koreans eat dogs...” said Oscar.
”Homer did you not invite Ned, Edna and the boys?!” Marge nagged.
”Marge this is a cool hipster Korean barbecue, uncool people wouldn’t appreciate it...” said Homer.
”Homer you infuriating!” Marge went to the fence bordering between the Simpsons and the Flanders.
”Well hi diddly ho Marge!” said Ned clipping his bushes.
”Ha!” Edna laughed.
”Marge! Stop undermining me! For once in my life I’m cool! I never went to college!” Homer ranted.
”Yes you did! In Homer Goes to College! Episode three of season five!” Oscar and Comic Book Guy yelled.
”Shut up! Do not interrupt my tirade! Now where was I? Ah yes. I was so not cool, I never went to college! (Oscar frowns and holds up a sign reading, “Yes you did...”) Every CD I’ve ever bought, I’ve bought from car washes. And I love that song Car Wash! I get angry at black and white films for some reason.... I listen to prehistoric old dinosaur bands according to the boy.... I wear socks with sandals! I offer Bart and Lisa’s friends orange segments when they come over! I tell really unfunny dad jokes! I can’t pronounce artisanal! (He pronounced it artist anal)” Homer went on a tirade.
”Mmmmmmmm! Artist anal.....” Oscar moaned pervertedly and drooled.
”It’s artisanal...” Terrance pronouncing it correctly.
”I only know David Cross from the live action Alvin and the Chipmunks movie!” Homer continued.
”ALVIIIIIIIIINNNN!” Oscar yelled at Alvinluvr30.
”What did I do?!” Alvin whined.
Bart sweat dropped.
“I like Van Halen! And what’s worse is I think they’re getting better and better!” Homer continued.
”How is liking Van Halen uncool?” Oscar asked.
“Homer your wallet chain makes you look like a barista!” Marge snapped.
Something triggered Hugo and he tossed away his chicken bone he was gnawing and seethed with anger. “Baristas?!”
”What’s wring with baristas?” Terrance asked.
”Raaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Hugo screamed angrily. “You stupid pretentious la di dah pumpkin spiced soy latte asstards!! Coffee is simple coffee! Black or with milk! Tea is tea! Particularly Earl Grey! No one wants to be bombarded with ridiculous Italian sounding made up drinks to satisfy every fussy hipster!! Cappuccino, frappecino, what is that?! The Frankenstein of coffees?! Americano?! Mocha?! Latte! Soy latte! Pumpkin spiced latte! Just order a coffee! Black or with milk! And they’re not biscottis! They are cookies you morons!!“ Hugo went on a tirade against hipster baristas.
”Um okay....” said everyone.
”And wearing glasses to look intellectual! That’s offensive to blind people who actually need glasses!! And the intellectuals wear specs thing was started by us nerds! Give that back!” Hugo yelled. “And why are you wearing rainbow suspenders?! Are you gay or advocating gay pride? Then stop wearing those! And suspenders are so 1950s!”
”Oh shut up Hugo!” Ace yelled wearing suspenders.
”Yeah shut up!” Clowncy yelled wearing suspenders on clown pants.
”You are taking fashion advice from a cartoon clown thing!” Hugo yelled.
Homer was furiously pacing up and down the living room. The kids and Marge were sat on the couch. Hugo had a bar of soap in his mouth.
”Thanks a lot Marge! You ruined a perfectly good hipster dad barbecue and the freak threw a tantrum!” Homer ranted.
”Shut up! Don’t you dare call him a freak! His name is Hugo!” Oscar snapped.
”I will call him a freak if I want!” Homer snapped petulantly.
”I will kill you if you do!” Oscar snapped.
Everyone bickered. Marge with Homer over his sudden love for new age parenting and hipsters. Bart with Oscar over him constantly threatening to kill Homer over his sick fascination with Hugo.
”Seriously just admit you have an even bigger gay crush on a Hugo than you had on me!” Bart yelled.
”Uh I don’t draw cringeworthy pictures of Hugo in diapers being molested by cartoon slime monsters like I do with you...” said Oscar. “But at least he appreciates my help! Even if it is tearing your family apart!”
”If anyone’s to blame here, it’s Dad.” said Hugo.
”No, well maybe... a lot... But no! It is Oscar’s bizarre obsessions with changing things he doesn’t like and making you canon!” Bart yelled.
Lisa grabbed a pot and hit it with a wooden spoon. It clanged loudly startling everyone. “Okay break it up! Break it up! Family meeting!” She called mediation and a meeting in the kitchen.
”I don’t want us to fall out over the neighbours...” Marge sighed.
”I don’t want to fall out with the new neighbours! Terrance and Emily are such nice people! I do not want our relationship with them to end up like how it was with the Winfields!”
”What about when Sideshow Bob was living next door?” said Oscar.
”We didn’t believe that was Bob until we found out he was, with someone else’s face. Eeeeeew!” said Homer. It’s a shame really what with him constantly trying to kill Bart. We could have had a hilarious mismatched neighbours soap opera! Hehehehe!” said Homer.
The Simpsons were going to a creepy warehouse where the bad guy kidnaps and takes you to. They had party hats on and were holding presents.
”Because in this scene readers. It is T. Rex’s birthday party.” said Oscar.
”I remember when I owned an old abandoned warehouse.” said Bart.
”Yeah that was a bit weird. Even for a B story.” said Lisa.
”Hmmmmmmmmm! Homer I’m pooped from being up all morning helping you sew and knit a jacket for T Rex’s birthday.... Why couldn’t you last minute buy him something from the shops like you usually do??!” Marge sighed exhausted.
”Because.... It is considered very cool and hip to make a gift by hand for someone. If I turned up to T Rex’s birthday with a toy I bought from the toy store like I would for a Bart or Lisa, or a box of A4 paper, I wouldn’t be cool! And I didn’t flatten my stomach to fit into these jeans that are deliberately ripped as a statement to be uncool...” said Homer.
”Dad you’re wearing a corset... aren’t you...” said Bart.
”Yes...” Homer said embarrassed. “And what are you wearing?!” He addressed Oscar because he went to T Rex’s birthday party wearing his green dinosaur onsie costume with a yellow belly and dark green scutes and was wearing a shiny rubber purple clown nose on his nose as his character’s big wet shiny nose. Apparently he’s some sort of dog dinosaur thing.
”I am going to Dinosaur Boy’s birthday so I’m going as a dinosaur! Rawr!” said Oscar.
They went inside. It was a hipster party in a creepy warehouse with old Itchy and Scratchy cartoons from when Chester J Lampwick was writing episodes.
”Geez Louise! Is this a child’s birthday party or somewhere a bad guy in a movie holds you hostage?!” Marge gasped.
”I know... I recognise this place! For all the wrong reasons Mom! Sideshow Bob tied me to a chair sat in that corner over there! Then he tried to lower me into a vat of molten lead over there...” said Bart.
”Urban spaces are trendy Marge.” said Terrance.
”Yeah. T Rex likes creepy abandoned warehouses the bad guy in a movie takes you to.” said Homer.
”Actually I now like eerie desolate ethnic youth halls...” said T Rex.
”Hmmmmmmpnh! This is not a place for a child’s birthday party! Children should have their birthday somewhere safe, cute and colourful like a Chuck e Cheese’s!” said Marge.
T Rex grimaced.
”Now come on this place is rockin’! Look! A temporary tattoo station!” said Bart.
”Heh! Temporary?!” T Rex laughed. They were permanent ones!!
Bart looked concerned as we pan over to Ralph getting a real tattoo!
”I want kitty whiskers on my face!” said Ralph.
”Okay! You’re the boss!” said the tattoo artist.
”Yoink!” Oscar dragged Bart to the tattoo artist. “Come on Bart! Let’s defy your mother and drive her to the nut house!”
Marge sighed annoyed at Oscar.
Bart stopped Oscar who was running on the spot so he fell flat on his face. “You’re gonna get me in a lot of trouble!” said Bart annoyed.
”Trouble Trouble! Wubble wubble! Nyahahahaha!” Mudboy laughed.
Marge was trying to find something kid friendly. “There must be a bounce house or a ball pit somewhere...”
She came to a room where all the mothers were. They were breastfeeding their babies.
Marge bottle fed Maggie.
”No! Breast feed your child! Or we will!” The mother’s were um odd!
”Certainty not! I made my choices as a mother to bottle feed all my children!” said Marge.
”Breastfeeding is natural...” said a mom.
”Back off you nipple Nazis! I’ve got a bottle and I will use it! Because you saw me use it!” Marge yelled brandishing a baby bottle.
”Marge don’t be ashamed. Breasts are for feeding your baby...” said Emily.
”Oh yeah? I bet you’re the sort of mother who changes her baby’s diaper in the middle of a fast food restaurant or park in front of everybody while lying him or her on the tables which are meant for eating at!” Marge snapped. Uh you did that once Marge...
”Of course! Changing your baby is natural! Don’t want your angel to get a diaper rash do you?” said Emily.
”But that’s indecent and it’s putting people off their food! Do it privately in the bathroom!” Marge snapped.
A toddler had a Mypad.
”And why does your baby have a Mypad!?” Marge yelled.
”He’s bored...” said a nipple Nazi Mom.
”Bring him some toys then! Screens are bad for babies!” Marge snapped.
T Rex was opening his birthday presents. Look at the short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt blond boy! XD
The blond long sleeve under short sleeve shirt boy was wearing a red shirt with a lightning bolt on it.
”Why the flip is the Drawn to Life mascot here?!” Oscar yelled.
”Are you referencing DC’s Flash or the Killers?! Or are you wearing a stereotypical cartoon boy’s t shirt...” Oscar ranted marching in a circle.
Bart winced even more embarrassed by Oscar’s behaviour.
”Hey! Red t shirts with lightning bolts on them are cool!” Ace yelled.
Oscar sung in Doos the Harry Potter theme at him.
Harry Potter from Treehouse of Horror XII winced.
“Oh look... A 1950s Portilac accordion camera... whoopee...” said Rex bored.
”I have one of those, but I modified it by matter binding it with a Clownja using a matter deatomiser.” said Oscar. He had an old timey vintage folding camera with an accordion bellows lens. But where the lens should be there was a cartoon clown head of a Clownja.
”I’m in horrible pain!” The Clownja head cried.
T Rex winced.
He then got bowling shoes. “Bowling shoes... not vintage but it will do... in a pinch...”
Then he opened Homer’s gift. It was a jacket with a cartoon T. rex wearing sunglasses on the back wearing a greaser jacket with the logo Dino Cool!
”Dino Cool.... Oh I get it... A T Rex for T Rex.... How long did I take your dad to think that one up...” Rex sighed.
Oscar laughed hysterically. “Dino Cool.... It’s funny cos dinosaurs are cool!”
The two cool kids including The Killers boy laughed mockingly.
”Hey! Knock it off! My Dad worked really hard on that! He even took denim painting classes! And stuck to them!” Bart yelled.
”Ugh... so lame! I can’t even wear this ironically ironically...” Rex rudely threw the jacket in the bin.
”Hey!” Bart said annoyed at his rudeness.
Oscar took the Dino Cool jacket out of the bin and wore it.
”I’m taking a picture of this poser and posting it on Instagram...” said T Rex taking with his camera phone a picture of Homer who was dancing.
The cool kids laughed.
”Hey! No one makes fun of my Dad! Except me!” said Bart so annoyed his voice was cracking.
”Well aren’t you a nice, kind person...” Rex sighed.
Bart lunged at him and they started fighting as the Vulcan combat song played.
”I bet 400 quatloos on the yellow spike haired kid....” said a nerd.
in their tussle Bart and T Rex knocked over a DJ’s Vinyls and crushed some.
“My Vinyls!” The man cried.
Bart and T Rex fought until their dad’s pulled them apart.
”Your son just attacked my son!” Terrance yelled.
”T Rex just insulted my Dad and rudely threw his gift away?” Bart yelled.
”He threw away Dino Cool! That’s it! If I wasn’t restraining my boy! Bart calm down!” Homer snapped.
”You’ve turned this slaughterhouse into a place of violence!” Terrance scolded Homer for Bart’s behaviour.
”Uh.... it’s a slaughterhouse. It’s supposed to violent...” said Oscar.
”I thought this was a blimp factory.” said Homer.
”Uh like factories don’t get repurposed and sold to new companies...” said T Rex.
Bart growled and lunged at T Rex but Homer quickly grabbed the scruff of his shirt and pulled him back.
”It is time for your family to leave!” Terrance was mad at the Simpsons.
”We’re still doing midnight bike riding right?” Homer whined.
They weren’t as that night Homer in the front room sadly looked out from the bay windows as hipsters led by Terrance rode bikes by the light of a full moon.
”It feels good to be accepted!” said Sideshow Mel riding a unicycle.
”Shut up Mel...” Oscar riding a baby bike with stabilisers yelled.
”Oooooooh...!” Homer whined.
Homer the next day was pacing in a circle in the kitchen going “Oh boy.... oh boy... ooooooh boy....” annoyed.
Bart came in. Homer frowned at him.
”Have you been Oh boying all night?!” said Bart.
”We had the ultimate bromance boy! A bond of two families! And you ruined it!” Homer snapped.
”I was standing up for you! T Rex was rude about your gift, threw it in the garbage and called you a poser!” said Bart.
”A poser?!” Homer gasped.
”And that Emily thinks she knows best! She called me a bad mother just because I never breast fed any of your children...” said Marge.
”That’s it! Screw the... Uh.... whatever Terrance and Emily’s surname is es!” Homer yelled. “But boy, why did you stand up for me?”
”I don’t know.... Maybe I feel really crummy for being a right jerk to you all these years?” Bart replied.
”Finally... he admits it...” Lisa sighed.
”Look, I guess my shenanigans, my cracks about your weight and your intellect and generally being a smart Aleck and pushing your buttons was uncalled for. I have no good reason to resent you or disrespect you. Apart from a few incidents... like that time you took me to a dog groomer for a haircut... you’ve actually been an okay Dad to me.” said Bart.
Homer cried. “Ooooooooh!” He hugged Bart.
”However....” said Bart. Homer stepping back, listened. “If anyone here is rightfully withholding respect from you because you haven’t shown them any respect, it’s Hugo! You insult him every day! Send him to his room for no reason! Tell him to shut up! Locked him up for his entire life and fed him only a bucket of fish heads once a month! No wonder he hates you! And for good reason! I wouldn’t blame him if he was constantly bad mouthing you like I do! At least he’s justified to do so!” Bart ranted.
”Oooooooh!” Homer whined.
”But I don’t Dad. Because I know that’s bad behaviour...” said Hugo.
The Simpsons and the um Terrance family fall out and Terrance removes the monoyard gate and fills in the gap with pickets.
”I want my Moustache Stencils back!” Homer yelled.
”Well I want my vinyls back!” said Terrance.
They hand things back.
”Oh and this is yours too!” said Terrance handing Lisa over.
Lisa giggled sheepishly and sighed. Looking longingly at the composter.
”They have a composter...” Lisa whined.
“Hmmmmmmm... breaking up with our neighbours... I feel so bad Homer.
”I know! And according to these scripts for season 50 this won’t be the last time!” said Homer.
”Gimme those! That’s spoilers!” Oscar snatched the script folder for season 50.
”How so?” Marge asked.
”When Eric is about Bart’s age, Ned will leave to become a missionary, a family called the DeGeorges move in, Eric falls in love with their daughter in an innocent childhood romance and then you fight for some reason... Apparently Marge gets jealous of the Mom’s baking skills...” said Oscar.
”Any way, keeping to the present... Emily and the other mothers looked down upon me just because I don’t breastfeed...” said Marge.
”That’s it! No one judges my wife’s thunderbags!” Homer said boiling over with fury.
”Hey! Not cool Homer! That’s sexual harassment that talk!” said the moustache guy from the sexual harassment seminar that was at the power plant.
Homer screamed startled by the man popping out of nowhere and being in his house. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Not a perv! Not a perv!”
Homer and Terrance were arguing again.
”I want my Blu Ray player back!”
”Fine! But you have to give back- Lisa?!” Homer noticed Lisa was over at Terrance’s house reading comics.
”Sorry!” Lisa whined.
Terrance handed her back over.
”Lisa, this break up until Terrance admits his bully of a son is in the wrong won’t work if you keep undermining it!” Homer sighed.
”I just think you should try to find mediation or compromise or something!! I don’t want us to fall out with people! Especially those that recycle! Lisa whined.
”Yet it’s okay for you to try to force me to break up with my long lost friends from kindergarten just because they’re a bad influence on me...” Bart said annoyed by her hypocrisy.
”They were a bad influence on you! And mom started staying out all night drinking!” Lisa ranted.
”Lisa stop being a hypocrite!” Marge scolded her. “These people are rude and judge us on our lives! I like Bart’s kindergarten friends with the swords scars! Because their moms don’t judge my parenting!”
Ned called them round for mediation anyway. Because as a Christian he couldn’t stand to see his neighbours fight.
”Now I thought we could just get together and change the channel from the Feud Network to Comity Central.” said Ned.
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny sat on a couch staring blankly.
”He was referencing your TV Channel....” Oscar loudly whispered to them.
”Can we all just agree to hate Stupid Flanders?!” Homer whined.
”I Like Ned! He’s whimsical, rhymes on a dime and he owns a specialist store in a run down mall. It’s like something from a Wes Anderson movie!” said Terrance.
”Enough with the names and niche artsy fartsy movies! I’m quite happy with my Mel Gibsons and Stephen Spielbergs!” Homer yelled.
”Well let’s get back to the topic of the parenting issues that lead to Bart using his fists and not his words!” said Emily holding baby Corduroy.
”Parenting issues?! Let me tell you youngsters about parenting... Parents are supposed to be uncool! So their kids have something to revel against, therefore becoming cool just long enough to get married and have kids who they will be lame to! It’s the circle of life....” said Homer.
”The circle of liiiiiiiiiiife!” Oscar sung the circle of life from Disney’s The Lion King. Homer grabbed and threw him off somewhere. A window shattering suggested he defenestrated Oscar.
”When you’re old those tattoos will be saggy and illegible!” Marge ranted sharply.
”I can live with that, Mom...” said Bart suddenly covered in permanent tattoos from T Rex’s birthday party in the warehouse.
”Oooooooh!” Marge whined.
”Uh... it’s a felony for a tattoo artist to serve minors, like it is with liquor stores and fruit machines.” said Homer.
”Well at least I don’t put a corporate chemical into my child’s body!” said Emily.
”You see?! You see Ned!? We just want to sort things out and they hurl insults and judgements...” Marge ranted.
”You should be nicer to Ned. He’s a widower.” said Terrance.
”Shut up!” Homer yelled.
”Guys, I’m sure there’s two sides to every-“ said Ned.
”See? Ned agrees with us!” Homer snapped. “This is our neighbourhood! We were here first! You should leave!”
”We’re not going anywhere! Our house just got written up in Dwell!” said Emily holding a magazine with the newly decorated Brown House on the cover.
”Oooooooh! It’s true!” Homer whined.
”When I humble brag about this on Twitter, Springfield will become as popular with hipsters as toe sneakers...” Terrance and Emily were wearing toe sneakers and wriggling their toes...
”The us types, are coming!” said Terrance menacingly as he tapped his Mypad. Posting something.
”Oh god no! The hipsters are invading!” Oscar screamed.
Hipster music plays as caravans and cars arrive in Springfield.
The Sprawl Mall became an American Apparel with a window poster reading “Locally sourced hoodies.”
The Springfield tyre fire became a farmer’s market.
King Toots music store became King Toke’s medical marijuana clinic. Otto was standing eagerly outside.
”They turned the Egyptian themed music store I have yet to poke fun at into a weed store?!” Oscar yelled.
”King Tutankhamen is a pot head druggy?!” Uncle Buck Tamaki gasped.
Androids Dungeon became a grownups magazine store with big glass windows called Taschen.
”Butts!!” Nelson ran in there and yelled Butts! Because apparently he found a dirty magazine.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Bart trying to find Oscar notice the store standing exactly where Comic Book Guy’s store should be. “They got the Androids Dungeon too?! Nooooooooooooooo!” Bart screamed and cried.
”Chill bro... we still have Milo’s Coolsville...” said Hugo.
”I dislike change!” Bart whined.
”Studentd, these are your new music teachers, the Decemberists.” said Skinner in an assembly. On stage was a string instrument band.
”Why can’t they be the Octoberists?! Libras rule!” Oscar whined.
”Oscar stop shouting out!” said Skinner.
”But Seymour! What about me?! I’m the music teacher!” Mr Largo whined.
”Oh not anymore Dewey. You’re fired.” said Skinner.
Mr Largo snapped his conductor baton and stormed off.
”Who wants to learn songs about press gangs and infanticide?” The Decemberists asked.
”Oh god noooooo!” Oscar screamed and ran out of assembly crying about infanticide.
Lard lads was now a Devil Donuts. Lard Lad was now painted bright red and given a pitchfork and devil horns on his head and a devil tail.
”It’s like they used polymerisation to fusion summon Lard Lad and the Chilli restaurant Big Red Devil mascots together...” said Oscar to Yugi Mutou.
”I should be happy because I was craving those delectable donuts with zany toppings at the start of this adventure, but now I’ve fallen out with Terrance I can’t bring myself to go in there and buy one! Ugh! They’ll probably taste bitter to me now...” said Homer.
He got in his car and drove.
”Stupid town... Well at least I still got Moe’s... although probably not seeing how this is going...” said Homer grumbling.
Moe’s was still where it should be. Next to the now marijuana store.
Homer went inside.
He was horrified that it was busier than usual. Because the new customers were cool people and hipsters etc.
”What happened?!” Homer cried.
”I don’t know! Everything worn out and rat infested and dark and dingy they love! And like I said, they even love the rats!” said Moe.
Hipsters were feeding cheese to the rats.
”The rat feeding doesn’t bother me... I like rats...” said Hugo.
”That’s the point! Other boy! Your freaky love of vermin that everyone else is squirmed out by is now acceptable! Enjoy your bubonic plague everyone! Hmmmph!” Homer left and went home.
Homer and Marge quickly pulled up into the drive. They hugged and cried.
”It’s horrible! Even the weather is raining more than usual!” Marge cried.
”That’s just pollution caused by the Power Plant dear.” said Homer. “Oh god! They’re wearing clothes from the past and using technology from the future!”
”Siri where can I buy spats...?” A man in spats, coat tails and a top hat riding a penny farthing asked his Myphone.
”Spats. You’re nearest store is Apu’s house of Spats.” said Siri.
Marge grimaced wondering why Apu was selling spats now.
Disco Stu was now Daft Punk.
”Disco Stu has found something new...” said Disco Stu as Daft Punk.
”Onhonhonhonhon! Apparently we’re French!” said Daft Punk laughing in a stereotypical French manner.
There were more houses redocarated the same way as Terrance and Emily’s. A guy had a red parrot.
”Come on Iago... say something funny and sarcastic! Like “Oh cram it Jafar!”” Oscar whined.
”I keep telling you kid, he’s name is not Iago and he can’t talk!” said the man with the red parrot.
”Oh god! It’s like Hell!!” Homer cried.
”Hey! My domain is not as awful as this place!! Sweet Baphomat! What have you done to this place?!” Satan was horrified.
Bart was in the backyard playing with dinosaurs and trucks. He looked over at T Rex.
”Hey don’t attack me again! My mom got me a repurposed old British police whistle. We had to replace the ball inside but it’s sturdy now.” said T Rex. “Mom also got me this can of pepper spray.”
”I’m not gonna hit you... Why are you not at the block party?” Bart asked.
”Block parties are lame...” said T Rex.
“Why do you think everything is lame....” said Bart. Why do you? “One interrogation at a time Narrator...”
”I don’t know... Look I had a late night last night... my parents took me to an all age burlesque show...” said T Rex.
Marge watering her flowers screamed.
”That’s it! Homer they have to go!” Marge ran inside.
”My Mom hates burlesque houses and burlesque shows and anything burlesque....” said Bart.
”Look I’m really sorry I was mean to your dad...” said T Rex.
”It’s okay. He can be rather lame...” said Bart. “And it’s funny in a weird way that I stood up for him and attacked you and not my sister Lisa. She adores our Dad more than I do! I’m always insulting and making fun of him... I have no idea why I went for, only I can mess with my dad thing...” said Bart. “Wanna watch TV?”
T Rex looked like he appreciated the kind offer. “Real TV? With commercials?!”
”Terrible commercials...” said Bart.
“but I’m supposed to turn the compost...” said T Rex.
Bart sighed, got out his Myphone and played Tapped out. He swiped the screen and in reality the sky finger changed part of the fence back into a monoyard gate. “Screw that! It’s Krusty time!” Bart dragged him over to watch Krusty inside.
“Anyway Folks on the other side of that screen... Now for more reactions to our favourite stores being ruined...” said Lisa.
Homer left Moe’s. “Oh god they’re in there enjoying the dark dingy dilapidated falling apart, exposed loft beams that is Moe unable to afford to decorate. Apparently it’s urban chic!”
Lisa went to King Toots for reeds only to find weed... ha! That rhymes. She saw it was now a medical marijuana store. She screamed in anguish and ran home.
Marge went to the Kwik e mart to buy groceries only to find upperclassmen and throwback retro hipsters trying to bring back vintage clothes aka Grampa’s clothes.
“Oooooh! I’m a hip young thing again!” Grampa came out of the store in a top hat, coat tails and spats.
”Excellent...” Mr Burns said dressed similarly for a dinner party.
Teddy, Oscar’s living teddy bear creature hummed as he left the store wearing at black shiny top hat, a dicky and coat tails and spats.
Baby Oscar snatched his top hat and barfed green vomit in it.
”Eeeeeeeeew!” Teddy groaned.
Hugo went to Java Server Internet cafe to find to his horror it was now a barista with WiFi. And pretentious endless choices of drinks like pumpkin spiced latte on the menu. He swore with a censor beep and stormed off.
Bart at home looked out the window at the Main Street where Moe’s, King Toots, and Androids Dungeon we’re supposed to be at. He sobbed and cried looking at the see through magazine store.
”Quit blubbering... your town still has Coolsville...” T Rex sighed. “You haven’t lost anything...
”Okay you win... can we still live on the dredges of your fruitopia like those eels that feed on whale poop...” Homer asked Terrance in defeat.
”Coooooool!” Oscar thought eels that ate whale poop were cool.
”Eeeeeeew!” The mentally handicapped whale wearing a diaper groaned in disgust.
”Oz stop using that character....” Lisa sighed.
”Uh....(breathes heavily)” said Terrance.
“Well?” Homer asked.
”That’s how I say no...” said Terrance.
”Well I’m not giving up!” said Hugo. “Stop wearing suspenders! This is not the 1920s or a circus!”
Ace wearing suspenders. Clowncy wearing suspenders on his clown pants, Lenny who always wears suspenders and a hipster lesbian wearing rainbow suspenders glared at him.
”King Toots is a marijuana store.” said Oscar.
”That’s it!! Homer were fighting this!! This trendy acceptance of drugs and burlesque shows! Think of the children!!” Marge yelled.
”Hey that’s my catchphrase Marge!” Helen yelled.
Marge beckoned her for help. Helen knew it was about a trend poisoning the minds of the children and disrupting their Republican mama’s apple pie life style.
Very soon the Simpsons, the Lovejoy’s and the Flanders were protesting. They were protesting for the hipsters, groupies and millennials to leave.
”You failed to exile us, what hope do you have with hipsters?!” An Ogdenville person explained.
”Shut up Ogdenville...” Homer groaned.
At the Simpsons.
T Rex smelt burning.
”I smell burning compost, and Cuban movie posters! Oh no!!” T. rex ran outside,
The composter was on fire.
”If those flames touch my Dad’s barrels of donut fat, the whole street will go up in flames!” T Rex explained.
”Coooool!” said Bart.
”How is people dying cool....” T Rex sighed.
The grownups arrived.
”Terrance, your home grown back to nature caused this! Now artificial man made stuff must save us!” said Homer spraying whipped cream at the fire.
”No Homer! That’s a combustible!” Marge yelled.
There was an explosion and Homer screaming and running about on fire.
Richard Dean Anderson sighed. “Mix this and this and banana peels. And you get a fire retardant...” he made a home made fire retardant.
Bart laughed. “Fire retardant...” Oscar sucker punched him for being offensive about mentally handicapped people.
They used Richard Dean Anderson’s mixture on the flames and they went out.
”I guess corporate man made things can be good Marge...” said Emily.
”And to be honest, I did breastfeed Lisa when she was a baby....” said Marge.
”Well you can start again with Eric dear. He hasn’t been mentioned all episode!” said Homer holding baby Eric. The blue haired youngest Simpson child.
”Goo!” Eric babbled.
T Rex ran into the backyard eating a burger and drinking a soda.
”Daddy! Daddy! I want to watch TV and have Krusty laffy meals! They have a toy in each one! I gotta collect em all!” said T Rex eating a burger.
”Pokémon!” Oscar added even though he didn’t need to. Hugo throttled him.
And apparently that’s the end.