The Crepes of Wrath is the thirteenth episode in my fanon. Bart pranks Skinner's mother and is sent to France as an exchange student as punishment. (Unfortunately there's no pancakes in this episode... mmmm, pancakes...)
- Dan Castellana as Homer Simpson
- Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson
- Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson
- Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson
- Hank Azaria
- Harry Shearer
- Tress Macneille
- Phil Hartman
- Eileen Stevens as Oscar Tamaki
The chalkboard gag is "Woody Woodpecker is not an obscene name."
The couch gag is that the couch is a bit tight so Homer is squeezed off of the couch and lands on his butt in front of the couch and grunts annoyed,
Bart arrives home to a messy house of his own mess on the stairs and stuff. He doesn’t care and ignores it.
Bart heads to his room while eating a chocolate bar.
“Froggie I’m home!” He says to a frog in a vivarium. A life tank for amphibious or reptilian creatures. The green frog croaked.
”All glory to the hypnotoad!!” said Oscar being silly.
”Oz...” Bart sighed.
“I have some juicy flies for you!” Bart pours flies into the frog tank. The frog licks them up.
”Bart what’s that? Are you growing a French man? Ribbet!” Oscar the frog.
”Cut that out! Limey!” Bart snapped.
”Yank...” said Oscar.
”Peasant!” said Bart.
”Frog...” said Oscar.
Marge comes in to tell the two boys to stop arguing and sees his mess. “Geez Louise! Look at this mess!” She moves aside his mess to get to his room. “I told that boy a billion times to clean up...”
”Bart clean this mess up!” Marge snapped.
”I will...” Bart sighed.
However one afternoon...
Homer came home and muttered about the mess Bart left.
Bart has left more mess on the steps and Homer falls and breaks his back.
A Krusty doll he tripped on laughs repeatedly all day until it’s battery runs out.
“Hooahahahaha! Hooahahahaha! Hooahahahaha!”
Marge finding Homer injured and a mess.
She gasped. “What happened dear?!”
”The boy... get me the boy...” Homer demanding to see the boy in cold fury.
Marge angrily sends Bart to his room to tidy up.
"Bartholomew J Simpson you are in serious trouble!" Marge bellowed up to him.
Bart gulped. "Uh oh! Full name!"
Oscar laughed. "Bartholomew! Ah!hahahaha!"
Bart rolled his eyes.
“Bartholomew! If you had cleaned up your mess like I told you to your father’s back would still be aligned! Ow clean up your mess!” Marge shouted at Bart.
“Yes mom...” Bart gulped and got to tidying his stuff away. His Krusty doll laughed as he put it away.
“I’m Krusty the clown! Hooahahahaha!”
Bart found a cherry bomb in his draw. “A cherry bomb! I thought I blew you guys up!” said Bart.
”Bartholomew tidy up your room!” Marge snapped. “Your toys are all over the floor, underwear draped on the bed posts?!”
Oscar laughed. “Bartholomew...”
”But Mom... Oscar’s toys are strewn all over the floor...” Bart groaned.
”Oscar’s a baby. He can’t help that. That’s why I tidy up for him.” Marge explained.
In hospital Homer is told to take plenty of bed rest by Dr Hibbert.
"Doc, I broke my spine, I can't move anyway." said Homer.
”How did this accident happen?” Dr Hibbert asked.
”It wasn’t an accident. My pig of a son tried to kill me! I fell down the stairs tripping on his skateboard and toys!” Homer explained lying on the couch.
”Ahehehe!” Dr Hibbert chuckled.
At School Skinner is having an inspection with his mother.
“No rough housing on those monkey bars! Tuck in that shirt! Hey watch it!” Skinner was telling children off.
Skinner’s mother is with him.
”Well you certainly run a tidy well mannered school, Spanky.” said Agnes to Skinner.
”Mother please don’t call me Spanky on school property...” Skinner whined.
Bart was showing his friends a cherry bomb.
“A cherry bomb!” Milhouse was in awe. “Are you gonna blow it up?”
“Of course Milhouse. I have something in mind...” said Bart smirking.
“Look out! Skinner!” said Richard.
“Uh oh.” Bart quickly put away the cherry bomb.
When the boys, Bart, Milhouse, Lewis and Richard see him they line up obediently.
"Spanky why don't you introduce me." said Agnes.
Bart laughed. "Spanky..."
"Quiet Bart!" Skinner barked.
"This is the Bart Simpson you're always talking about?" Agnes asked.
"Yes Mother." Skinner replied.
"But he looks so sweet!" said Agnes pinching Bart's cheeks. Bart winced as he didn't like old ladies doing that to him.
“I am Ma’am.” said Bart blushing.
“Come on Mother. Let me show you the cafeteria.” said Skinner.
“Bye Spanky!” Bart deliberately called Skinned Spanky. He laughs with his friends hysterically.
“What can I say. I love the classics...” Bart sighed as he caught his breath from laughing.
Bart, Lewis, Richard and Milhouse are in the toilet.
”Are you gonna flush it then?” Lewis asked.
”Yep.” said Bart.
Bart admired the last cherry bomb he found in his room. “What can I say. I’m a sucker for the old classics...”
Bart lit and flushed the cherry bomb down the toilets at the same time Agnes, Principal Skinner's mother is using the adjacent toilet during a visit. It explodes on her.
Agnes screams from the girls toilets.
“Mother?!” Skinner gasped.
Meanwhile Marge is fluffing up Homer’s pillow.
“Oh Marge! I’m still hurting!” Homer whined. “Marge? Marge!”
“Sweetie I can’t do much other than fluff up your pillow...” Marge sighed.
“Marge can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich.” Homer asked.
“Yes dear...” said Marge.
“Squished flat and crunchy on the outside.” said Homer.
“Yes dear...” said Marge.
“And some of those wieners in a can.” Canned sausages.
“And those little fruit cocktails in heavy syrup. Del monte weren’t they?” Homer asked.
“Sorry dear but Oscar ate the last one.” said Marge.
“D’oh!” Homer groaned.
“Mmmmmm! Del Monte...” said Oscar at lunchtime about to eat his canned fruit salad from Del Monte. Luckily Fernando the assassin isn’t a character yet.
Bart is frogmarched home by Skinner personally. Bart is mortified.
Marge is embarrassed and angry to answer the door to a furious Skinner holding Bart by the collar of his orange shirt. However before she does she knows Skinner’s there because she can see his distorted face in the peephole. These things are funny in cartoons.
”Omg! An alien!” Oscar yelled.
”No sweetie that’s the local school principal Skinner.” said Marge. “I think Bart’s in trouble again... Hmmmmmm!” Marge lets Skinner in.
"Mrs Simpson your son has gone too far!" Skinner bellowed.
Skinner releases Bart.
”I’m outta here...” Bart went to his room.
”Hrmmmmmmm... What’s he done now....” Marge sighed.
”It’s quite a disturbance Mrs Simpson May I come in?” Skinner asked.
Marge guided him into the lounge.
”Homer... Principal Skinner is here...” Marge explained embarrassed he had some troubling news about Bart.
”Ooooooh! Hello Principal Skinner...” Homer groaned from the couch. “I’d get up but I hurt my back. Bart crippled me...”
“I see said Skinner.
”What’s he done now...” Homer groaned.
”Well it’s a long story...” said Skinner.
“Oh and sorry for your accident Mr Simpson." Skinner apologised to Homer. Homer was in plaster casts.
"It wasn't an accident! The boy did it to me!" said Homer.
“Hmmmm! I see.” said Skinner.
Skinner explained his mother’s accident. Marge gasps as he explained Bart exploded a cherry bomb in the boy’s toilet as Nrs Skinner used the girl’s toilet. Marge was horrified.
"I have no choice but to assign Bart the cruelest punishment I can." said Skinner ominously. “Deportation.”
”What?!” Homer gasped.
“Now hear me out and Simpson.” said Skinner.
“Can you deport the Arabic kid in class?” Oscar asks.
“No we can’t Oscar...” said Skinner.
Bart glared at Oscar.
”Oz what is wrong with you?!”
“He will be punished by being put on a exchange student programme.” said Skinner. Bart is sent to France which he agrees to thinking it will be nice. In return France sends an Albanian because French children are frog hybrids from all the frogs they eat and make love to.
"Oscar that's not why!" Lisa yelled.
"I don't care, my version is funnier." said Oscar.
“Hmmmm. I Don’t know. Sending Bart away to another country seems a bit extreme. I better ask him.” Marge goes to Bart’s room.
Bart is feeding his pet frog.
Marge asks if he’d like to go to France for a while.
“To live the life of a frog...” said Bart.
Marge makes it seem inviting.
"Cool! I wanna go to France! Mom can I?" Bart asked.
"Sure dear!" said Marge. "Awww my son wants to learn his roots!"
"Hey hold up! It's not a punishment if Bart likes it! Bart you can't go to France!" Homer interfered.
"Now hold on Mr Simpson. This could benefit us both and get Bart out of our hair..." said Skinner.
"Oh okay. But no enjoying yourself boy!" Homer replied.
Skinner explained how beneficial it could be for Bart. “Why he could end up learning a second language...” said Skinner.
“This is Bart we’re talking about here Doc...” said Homer.
“Well okay, maybe not Bart...” said Skinner.
Skinner explained Bart would be quite happy staying in a luxury hotel.
The Simpsons say goodbye to Bart at the airport.
“Good riddance!” said Homer happy to be rid of him.
“I’ll miss you sweetie!” said Marge crying and hugging and kissing Bart and generally embarrassing him.
“Ungh! Mom!” Bart whined.
“Be sure to write sweetie.” said Marge.
“I will Mom.” said Bart.
“What do you even know about France...” Lisa frowned at him.
“I know I’m going and you’re not.” Bart retorted.
“Remember the French cuisine might not be to your liking dear! They eat frogs legs and snails!” said Marge.
“Eeeeeeew!” Bart groaned. Then he waved goodbye to them one last time and got on the plane.
Well actually he was thrown onto it by the steward.
”Oof!” Bart grunted as he was thrown on the plane.
Homer and Skinner celebrated him leaving.
”Calooh calay! Yaaaaay!” They high five.
Meanwhile an Albanian albino called Adil says goodbye to his parents as he flies to America.
(In Albanian) "Goodbye Adil. Please steal as much as you can from America." said the boy's mom.
Elsewhere at the CIA.
”Agent Sparrow! Adil is on the move!” said an agent.
Agent Sparrow is revealed to be a little boy about Bart’s age with spikes with round tips wearing sunglasses. Despite this he is an experienced secret agent.
Bart is sat on a massive plane with enormous amounts of space but lots of seats. They didn’t need that much seats. They could build a bar in it or something.
Bart soon learns he is to live with a cruel winemaker called Ceaser and his nephew Ugolin after hitch hiking with them rather than looking for his cab driver at the airport.
A man at the airport holding a sign that read Bart Simpson was confused waiting for Bart.
Bart rides on a motorcycle with Ugoline and sings in French the entire time while they pass through famous French paintings such as Monet’s lily ponds.
In fact. On the way to the chateau, with Bart singing, Bart and Ugolin past scenes depicted in several famous paintings, notably Bassin aux nymphéas by Claude Monet, Champ de blé aux corbeaux by Vincent van Gogh, Le rêve by Pablo Picasso and Déjeuner sur l'herbe by Édouard Manet.
When they were in Van Gogh’s painting of a barley field Ugolin had enough of Bart’s singing and told him sharply to stop, he did.
In La/Le Reve Bart winced as they went through a jungle full of nude women.
In Manet’s painting Bart saw a naked lady.
They arrive at Chateau Maison. Castle house. Um it’s more like a shack with vineyards.
“Welcome to your new home.” said Ugoline.
“Escape is impossible.” said Cesar.
Bart winced. Okay I’m boned...
Caesar and Ugoline treat him badly by making him carry heavy buckets of water, picking the grapes, stomping on the grapes to make wine, starving him, making him sleep on the floor and forcing him to drink wine poisoned with antifreeze. And worst of all feeding him a plain turnip for dinner with no sauce.
Bart is doing hard labour watering the grapes.
”Come on! My grapes are waiting for their water!” Cesar yelled in French.
"Please! We're thirsty!" Grape vines cried.
Bart is miserable.
Meanwhile at the Simpsons Homer release Hugo from the attic.
“For the next three months you’re our son now Boy!” said Homer.
Hugo just snarled like a dog and scrabbled down stairs into the house from the attic.
“Homer why did you let the thing out...” Marge sighed.
"I don't know." said Homer.
Adil, a Albanian kid arrives at the Simpsons.
"You're Albanian?! I thought they were pale with pink eyes!" said Homer.
"Daaaad! That's Albinos! And that's really offensive!" Lisa explained.
"No it's not." said Oscar.
"Why yes Mr Simpson." said Skinner. "What, you thought you were getting a French child?"
"Sorta." said Homer.
"Unfortunately all French children are horribly deformed by years of eating and breeding with frogs." said Skinner.
Lisa rolled her eyes as Oscar gave her a "I told you so!" Look.
“You may find his accent peculiar. Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive. But I urge you all to give little Adil the benefit of the doubt. In this way, and only in this way, can we hope to better understand our backward neighbors throughout the world.” said Skinner showing Adil in.
Lisa growled under her breath. “Sir, you’re being offensive!”
”No he’s not. The only thing offensive here is Adil’s wrongful, backwards culture.” said Oscar. He sniffs something. “And Hugo’s body odour...” he gags.
Hugo sniffed himself and gagged.
Lisa glared at Oscar.
Oscar didn't like Adil one bit.
”How can you support a country where 5% have more money than the other 95% put together?” Adil asked Lisa.
”Because I love living in a free country where you can say what you want and worship whatever faith you want.” said Lisa.
”Can not...” said Adil.
”Can too!” said Lisa.
”Enough! Lisa’s right. We can do and say as we please in America. Not like in Albania...” said Oscar.
”That’s terrible how do you function with such disorder?!” Adil frowned.
Oscar frowned back at him.
"I'm watching you kiddo..." he glared at Adil.
"Also you Albanians are thieves! Hey! That's my yo-yo! Gimme!" said Ace. Adil stole his yo-yo. "And your tanks don't work!"
Lisa seethed at Oscar and Ace being offensive towards Adil.
A few hours later the Simpsons had another guest at the door. The author John Steinbeck.
He wrote about poor Oklahoma farmers and some sort of wrath. Then a story about George and Lennie and rabbits. And a red pony.
Homer decided he was boring though and kicked him out.
”Get out! You’re boring!” Homer yelled.
"Daaaaaad! That was John Steinbeck!" Lisa whined.
John left the master copy of Grapes of Wrath behind. Oscar changed it to Apes of Wrath and nonsensical Planet of the Apes references.
Hugo shook his head and changed it back to Grapes of Wrath but about evil California Raisins for some god forsaken reason. Oscar laughed hysterically.
Bart was still being mistreated and got told off when the donkey nicked his bed.
"The donkey sleeps there now! You sleep on the floor!" Cesar yelled.
Elsewhere Oscar took himself to France, somehow and went about dressed as a stereotypical onion seller in a striped mime sweater and beret being as offensive as possible.
"Onhonhonhon! My cheese! She stinks! Oh wait! It is moi! Onhonhonhon! Bonjour petit frogs! I shall eat you!"
The French were offended.
"Oh stop being so pissy!" said Oscar laughing like a French man.
The French people gasped and yelled angrily.
Meanwhile Adil is helpful to everyone and cleans up. However it is revealed he is a spy sent to collect blueprints of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Homer agrees to take him to work, not realising the many photos he is taking.
"Dad, can I see the plutonium isolation module?" Adil asked.
"Sure. Why not." said Homer. Because he wants to sell nuclear secrets to Albania...
In France Bart got caught eating a grape and was set to work grape stomping.
"You're drinking that after my feet have been in it?! Eeeeeugh!" Bart groaned.
(In French) "Mmmmmm! Such good foot sweat..." said Caesar.
At home Hugo was looking up conjoined twins. Particularly ones even unluckier than him and Bart. He was pretty lucky they were only attached by a bit of skin and flesh to their sides. He saw a gruesome picture of twin babies sharing legs. He imagined, "Well that would be really gross for one twin if their brother had messed the shared diaper."
One night when he's supposed to be asleep Adil sends coded messages to Albania.
Meanwhile in Bart’s room. Oscar is asleep with Hugo.
“Hugey...” Oscar says in his sleep.
Hugo smirks evilly and takes out a needle and yarn.
Homer tripped on a toy and landed on his back.
"Oooooooooh! Oooooooooh! Ooooooooh!" A Krusty doll droned until it ran out of battery.
Then the dog licked him. "D'oh!" And rested on him and went to sleep.
Then Maggie played with Homer. Ie pulling his nose, his hair and putting a pacifier in his mouth.
Oscar in France then went to a French restaurant and ordered gross things and did not eat them. He simply wished to mock France for eating gross things.
First off he ordered live snails. He rudely expressed his disgust as he watched the snails slither about his plate. Occasionally he'd poke their eye stalks causing them to retreat back into their shells.
Then he thought it would be cool to create a giant cartoon snail to slime on him.
"I'll do that later." said Oscar.
Elsewhere Bart had a plain turnip again. And snails...
He turned green in disgust.
"Why are you making that face like a common frog?! Zis is what we eat! Mmmmmm! Such finely cooked snails..." Caesar yelled at Bart before eating the snails.
"Mmmmm such good sausage too." said Ugoline.
"Oui, now pass the wine." said Caesar.
Bart looked at his plate of snails in disgust.
The rest of the episode is Oscar mocking the French.
And Lisa stating Homer's paper thin parenting sends shivers down her spine.
"Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down my spine." said Homer. He has some kind of fear of skeletons.
"Can I be excused?" She asked.
"Sure dear." said Marge.
"Ace, if Adil is Albino, that means he can't be out in the sun like you!" Oscar asked Ace being in multiple places at once.
"Uh no.... because he's Albanian, not albino..." said Ace.
"Same thing." said Oscar being ignorant.
Oscar then continued writing his plot for The Apes of Wrath. Which is also a Bug Bunny cartoon where he wears a diaper and gets adopted by gorillas...
He then ordered frogs legs and croaked at the waiters.
Bart continued to get mistreated. Which happens a lot in the episode. And it infuriated me because I like Bart.
Homer took Adil to the Kwik-E Mart. Adil stole things. Because Albanians are thieves...
At France in a restaurant Oscar then ordered horse leg. Neeeeeeiiighh!
Then he had stinky French cheese.
"Actually I think it's the pissy French waiters that stink.
The other people at the restaurant yelled and grumbled in French, they were offended.
Then he had Petit fours. More like Petit Quatre.
"Un Four is "Oven" En Anglais." said a pissy waiter.
Bart is sent into town to sell the poisoned wine. Whilst there he meets a policeman. Unfortunately unable to understand Bart, the policeman gives him some gum and leaves. However the gum allows Bart to instantly speak French. Bart explains his woes and the policeman arrests Ceaser and Ugolin.
Bart is treated like a hero for the rest of his time in France.
Meanwhile Adil is discovered by the FBI and arrested to be sent back to Albania in exchange for an American spy imprisioned there. A boy with spikes like Bart's wearing glasses gets off a plane and passes Adil as he is escorted into custody.
"We meet again, Agent Sparrow..." said Adil ominously. He was taken onto the plane Agent Sparrow got off of.
Bart comes back home with gifts for everyone. They celebrate. The end.
Meanwhile Adil escapes from prison with a devious grin as he vows to get revenge on the Simpsons. He laughs evilly.
Scary music plays as the credits roll.
- The title is a reference to The John Steinbeck book, The Grapes of Wrath. And Crepes, the French term for pancakes.
- This episode introduces Ceaser and Ugolin. And Agnes Skinner.
- One of the reasons Bart wants to,go to France is his French ancestry on his mother's side of the family.