Simpsons Fanon

The Book Job the Simpsons go to see Sitting With Dinosaurs but the realistic dinosaurs scare everyone including Ralph who wants to go back inside mommy. After the show, in which Bart and Lisa bicker over how many and what size dinosaur plushies they get, and Homer sleeps inside a T. rex head as it is his constitutional right to do so, despite it annoying the staff of the show trying to put their props away. Lisa sees the author T.R. Francis, who wrote her favorite Angelica Button books. However, T R Francis explains she did not write the books she just took credit for the books that were actually written by a team of brainstorming writers. Lisa is determined to prove Francis wrong and single handedly write a fantasy novel. And Bart and Homer out of spite are determined to prove Lisa wrong and team up with Moe, Skinner and Patty and Selma to prove only a team can write a novel. Also guest starting Neil Gaiman.


There are the titles but no title gags again as we cut straight to the episode.


Everyone in town is going to a dinosaur show based on Walking with Dinosaurs called “Sitting with Dinosaurs.”

The Simpsons have mixed feelings.

“Well we’ve been food blogging, Bart went to his little league baseball. Lisa did something intellectual and studious, the babies got to go to the fun ball pit soft play area and Hugo got some time out of the house. It’s only fair we do something Oscar likes.” said Marge as they were in a queue.

“Open up the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur! Open up the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur!” Open-“ Homer was singing to Everybody walk the dinosaur while listening to it on his MyPod.

“Daaaad! No! No corny singing or pop culture references! I find it annoying when Oscar does that!” Bart groaned.

“Don’t interrupt my singing! I’ll sing Walk the dinosaur if I want!” Homer said sharply. “Open up the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur! Open up the door and get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur!” He continued singing. Oscar was grooving to the dinosaur themed song.

Bart sighed. “Am I the only one here then that doesn’t like this activity?”

“How can you not like dinosaurs?!” Oscar was shocked. “They’re big stomping monsters that roar like this! Raaaaaaawrrrr! And some eat each other!”

“Because Oz. It is still educational...” said Bart. “And only little kids like dinosaurs...”

“I appreciate the educational value of this show, especially given its topic is palaeontology.” said Lisa.

“I too appreciate the educational value of this show. But My quirky side also enjoys the cool, violent parts Oscar likes! Mwuhahahaha!” said Hugo laughing while wearing Bart’s glasses. “Hey, a genius can have fun once in a while...”

“No Hugo! Since when did Einstein ever go Eddie Murphy Nutty Professor or even Jerry Lewis Nutty Professor?” Lisa frowned.

“All the time! Look my phone screen is Einstein sticking his tongue out! Hehehe!” said Hugo showing Lisa his mobile phone.

Lisa growled.

“Lis, are you deliberately trying to make being intelligent and gifted boring?! Shame on you!” said Bart smirking.

“I’d rather that than make genius and high brow entertainment into a circus! Hugo stop creating sci fi monsters! You’re making a mockery of science!” Lisa yelled and ranted. Especially at Hugo because he had just zapped a bystander with a transmutation ray gun turning them into a horrifying monster with way too many eyes and mouths.

“No, I’m not! You’re making science into a snooze fest so my brother can use that as an excuse to underachieve!” Hugo retorted. “Science doesn’t have to be boring, just be you say so!”

“That’s no excuse to violate the laws of physics and make unethical experiments or doomsday devices just because you can!” Lisa yelled.

“Hey! For one thing, Princess Smarty-Pants! I don’t go around violating the laws of physics! Because I can’t! That’s the point! Oz, stop ignoring gravity and get down!” Hugo ranted and told Oscar off for floating.

“Guys, shut up and stop arguing!” Oscar snapped. “This is my day out and you are not ruining it with your bickering!”

Hugo and Lisa quickly were silent and dared not try his patience, what little he had left anyway.


Everyone soon got inside except Ol' Gil and the orphans Patches and Poor Violet. Then they decided to form a family. A very unhappy family but at least they could be unhappy together.

Everyone sat down and waited for the show to start. It soon did as the lights darkened. Homer ate popcorn and amusingly Matt tried so hard to be politically correct and include ethnic minorities that he dotted black children randomly across the audience instead of oh I don’t know feature one of the actual canon ethnic minority families like the Hibberts?!

A man by a rock with purple fog inside it was speaking. “Our journey starts, 65 million years ago! When dinosaurs ruled the Earth!”

Jim Carey as Count Olaf did his velociraptor impression.

“It’s so cute that all these kids are excited to see their favorite dinosaurs.” said Marge.

“Yeah, it’s also rather cute that Matt tried so hard to balance out the ethnic minorities in the audience by dotting black children randomly about the audience...” said Oscar. “Kid, you could not have come here on your own. Even I couldn’t get in with out a supervising grown up... go sit with your family...” Oscar explained to a random black kid sitting between him and Moe.

“Now we go back to those times. Back to the Cretaceous! Back to the dinosaurs!” said the guy on stage.

Dinosaurs appeared from the fog. But they were too realistic and most of them were carnivores and were roaring. Which scared children in the audience. The children screamed.

Milhouse was scared by a pteranodon.

“These aren’t dinosaurs! Dinosaurs sing!” Milhouse yelled and threw his Barney the dinosaur toy into a T. rex’s mouth.

“Cooooool!” said Oscar as the tyrannosaurus ate Milhouse’s Barney the dinosaur toy.

Bart face palmed and shook his head at his friend Milhouse and his childishness.

“I wanna go back in Mommy!” Ralph cried as he got out of his seat and crawled up his mom’s dress. Sarah grimaced trying good stop him.

Tyrannosauruses roared.

most of the audience including Apu’s octuplets fled. “Ow! I paid eight hundred dollars to see a few minutes!” Apu was being dragged by his frightened octuplets.

However the Simpsons were a few brave enough to stay and watch the show.

“And so a mighty asteroid collided with the earth. Killing all the dinosaurs.”

The dinosaurs died.

“Extinct!” Homer yelled.

Another Homer stood on stage holding a toaster. “This is gonna cost me...” he gulped concerned the future he’d return to would be horrifying. He vanished back to the future.

“So people of Earth, look after your planet! Or you could end up like the dinosaurs!” said the stage guy.

“Oh how clever! They made the play about a message to look after the environment!” said Marge.

“No.... the message was, we’re all gonna die from an asteroid one day so let’s party and who cares what the state the planet is in! Let’s enjoy what time we have left!” Bart retorted. He threw his popcorn tub and soda on the floor and stomped on them.

“I agree! Let’s litter!” said Homer chucking his litter on the floor. “Come on Marge!”

Marge threw pocket tissues on the floor.

Maggie and Eric poured their milk from their bottles on the floor.

“Moooooom!” Lisa whined.

“Sorry. I just wanted to follow the crowd.” said Marge.


The Simpsons went down the halls of the stadium. A girl was having her photo taken with the dinosaurs. An intelligent velociraptor or philosiraptor was stroking a boy’s head and smoking a pipe as he considered moving to Venezuela to take up odd jobs under the false name of Mr Pilkington. But perhaps he has said too much...

“Gift shop! Gift shop!” Bart and Lisa cheered when they saw a gift shop. The Simpsons and Oscar followed them.

“Okay you can each have one toy!” said Homer eating cotton candy.

Lisa picked out a large blue brontosaurus. Bart picked out a smaller green tyrannosaurus.

“No fair! Lisa got a big toy!” Bart whined. “That means I get two small toys!” said Bart taking a pink triceratops too.

“No fair! This one isn’t big!” said Lisa. “It’s medium!”

“No fair!” Bart insisted. “I get four small toys and Lisa gets one medium and one small.”

“What?! He gets four and I get only two?!” Lisa argued.

Homer snapped. “RIGHT THAT’S IT! NO TOYS FOR ANYONE!” Homer yelled.

Maggie made a sad face and hugged a dinosaur toy.

“Well except for Maggie.”

“No fair!!” Bart and Lisa whined.

“Eat fossilised dinosaur poop!” Bart threw a coprolite at Homer. It missed and knocked the head off a velociraptor. Who was actually a mascot costume with someone inside.

Lisa gasped as she recognised that someone as famed children’s author T R Francis. Who write her favourite fantasy novels the Angelica Button series.

“Hey! I know you!” said Lisa.

“No you don’t!” T R Francis replied and ran off.

“Dad! Follow that dinosaur!” Lisa yelled pointing to the fleeing T R Francis.

“Long have I waited for someone to say those words...” said Homer.

He helped Lisa chase after T R Francis.


They follow her back stage. Pass a bathroom with dinosaurs in it smoking!!

“Triceratops head coming through!” said some backstage guys carrying a triceratops head and not caring two unauthorised people were chasing one of their actors backstage where they shouldn’t be.

“Stegosaurus back spines or scutes used to regulate body temperature coming through!” Another backstage Guy was pushing a trolley with stegosaurus spines on it.

Dino the baby chomby looked confused at his scutes/spine plates not realising they were there to regulate his body temperature.

“Yes that’s because you’re cold blooded Dino!” said Oscar to his pet dinosaur monster.

Homer soon got exhausted from running. “You go on ahead. He went to sleep in a Tyrannosaurus’s mouth and shut it’s mouth for privacy as he dozed off and snored.

Meanwhile Lisa cornered T R Francis in her changing and make up room. She fangirled about how she was a huge fan of Angelica Button books and demanded to know how Angelica Button got a new wand after Baron Mortdeath burned the Wandwood forest. Coooool! Universe building!

However T R Francis revealed something shocking. She did not write the Angelica Button books!! Dun dun dun!

“What?!” Lisa gasped.

“I’m just an actor whom they used a photo of to market the books.

“But you came up with all my favourite magical characters after an explosion at a crumpet factory!” Lisa gasped.

“They made that up for publicity...” said T R Francis. “You’re children’s books are all written by market researchers who debate and research what is trending. Then they hire literature college students medicated on pills to keep them working till they collapse with exhaustion. We tried the infinite monkeys on typewriters theorem. But... you know monkeys are idiots...”

“And then each book released sells fast with cosplayers and... Hey Flanders get out of this flashback! You don’t like the Angelica Button books because you find the witchcraft and whimsical wizardry is evil!” T R Francis yelled over the flashback to Ned who was stupidly breaking canon waiting in line with his boys for a book he’d consider devilish.

“Oops! My mistake! Come on boys! The mysterious voice is right! I’m not letting you two read those devil books about witchcraft and wizenry!” Ned replied as he took his boys home. They whined feeling left out once again from the other kids.

Lisa was crestfallen to learn her favourite books were not written by a talented author.

“So you’re not a brilliant lady author who will one day do what George Lucas is doing to his movies and add unnecessary changes that ruin the whimsy and innocence like uh... Greystache turning out to be gay with Grimhorn the Ghastly... or where Angelica is actually black and binary gendered just to virtue signal...” asked Oscar.

“No.” said T R Francis.

“And Greystache is not gonna turn out to be gay, Oz...” Lisa sighed.

“Oh hold on! I got one more!” said Oscar not finished bothering T R Francis.

“Kids please!” T R Francis begged.

“Are you in any time in the near future gonna get involved in a Twitter scandal where you make transphobic comments?” Oscar asked. Zing! Take that J K!

“Uh no...” said T R Francis pushing them out of her make up room.

“No! No! This can’t be true! I won’t believe it! It’s impossible!” Lisa cried.

“Search your feelings you know it be true!” said Oscar as T R shooed him out of her room. He was holding his hands over his mouth and breathing like Darth Vader.

“Cut that out...” Lisa sighed disappointed.


Homer inside the Tyrannosaurus head was being dragged out by Raphael and some back stage staff.

“Sir you can’t sleep in that dinosaur head!” said Raphael.

“It is not against the law to sleep in Tyrannosaurus’s mouth!” Homer insisted. Closing himself back in there like a sleeping clam.

“But sir. This is an Allosaurus.” said Raphael.

“I demand to see my palaeontologist!” said Homer.

Oscar laughed because he found that funny.

Plot 2[]

Eventually everyone reunited at the souvenir store. Oscar was listening on his MyPod to the song Everybody walk the dinosaur and singing along.

“Open up the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur! Open up the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur!”

“Phew! Homer, Lisa! Where have you been?” Marge was worried sick.

“I slept in an allosaurus head.” said Homer. “Then I got kicked out of it.”

“I just had my dreams crushed by my favourite author!” Lisa sobbed and cried cradling an Angelica Button Book.

“Hahahahaha!” Bart laughed, being mean to Lisa.

“Bart!” Marge scolded him.

“Anyway have the kids managed to decide on one toy each without any more arguments?” Homer asked.

“No...” Marge sighed as in the background Bart and Hugo were fighting over how many toys they each got.

“No fair! I got a small one and you got a big one! That means I get two small ones!” Bart whined.

“No fair! It’s not big it’s medium!” said Hugo.

“I’m a medium.” said Oscar being stupid as he was suddenly dressed as a gypsy fortune teller sat at a cushion with a crystal ball on it. “I see the future... in the next season... Oh crud! Come on you stupid crystal ball! Don’t give me outlook hazy!”

“No fair! I should get four small ones and Hugo gets one medium and mine small!” Bart whined.

“No fair! He gets four toys and I only get two?!” Hugo whined.

“ENOUGH!!” Oscar screamed. Scaring Bart and Hugo into silent shock at his outburst. “THIS IS MY FUN DAY OUT AND YOU’RE NOT WRECKING IT!! SO SHUT UP AND PICK ONE TOY EACH!”

Bart and Hugo frightened by his anger immediately complied.

“Wow! Great job kid...” said Homer amazed to see Oscar was able to sort out the argument with his loud shouting.


Eventually everyone was being civilised in the souvenirs Saurus Rex shop.

Oscar was playing with plastic dinosaurs singing do de doo doo doo sounds and making demented dinosaur roars as he smacked the plastic dinosaurs into each other.

Dino, his pet dinosaur monster that looks like a baby chomby, was rolling his eyes exasperated by Oscar’s childishness.

Then, “Oops...” Oscar accidentally broke the plastic dinosaurs.

“You’re gonna have to pay for those kid...” said Raphael now working behind the till of the souvenir shop.

“Ooooooooh!” Homer groaned.


At home in the kitchen.

“Mom can I have some money to buy some gasoline to make a bonfire to burn all my Angelica Button books?” said Lisa depressed.

“Oh I’m sorry sweetie that you’re author turned out to be a dinosaur... but you loved the characters in them! Regardless who wrote them!” said Marge.

“Mom doesn’t it bother you a media corporation lied to children?! How would you like it if Betty Crocker wasn’t real and was actually an invention of market researchers and corporate executives?” asked Lisa with a sour disposition.

“Now Lisa that’s silly! Of course BettyCrocker is real!” saidMarge looking shifty.

“And besides. Even before this shocking and devastating news, I wasn’t actually that big a fan of Angelica Button... especially after they killed off Greystache.” Homer gasped. “I’m sorry Dad I had to see the real ending for myself...”

“Greystache!” Homer wailed and sobbed and cried.

“Oooooh! There there Dad!” Lisa comforted her Dad. “If it makes you feel any better, I still love your ending over the official one!” She did finger quotes when she said official. “In fact I insist yours be considered canon! You’re a real natural story teller!”

Homer cheered up. “Aaaaaw! Thanks sweetie!” He hugged Lisa.

Marge found this sweet. “Awwwwww!”

“Ahem! Sorry Lisa but you are not the copyright owner of Angelica Button books, so we do not have to even consider what you want to insist as the ending! Your feelings do not matter! Good day!” said Comic Book Guy dressed as the Hagrid character from the Angelica Button books.

Homer sighed and shut the corncob kitchen curtains on him.

“I am still here you know!” said Comic Book Guy.


Then the secondary plot kicked in while Marge was outside putting stuff in the outside bin.

“I’m just bummed that instead of Angelica Button being the work of a hardworking genius author, they are the combined work of a bunch of lucky idiots, or an AI being fed young adult fantasy novels! Like how they wrote the parody Harry Potter chapter, Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Pile of Ash...” Lisa explained.

“Aaaaaagh! Cannibal Ron Weasley!” Homer screamed.

“What I’m saying Dad is that apparently according to this startling revelation about my favourite fantasy novels has turned everything I thought I knew upside down! T R Francis, or whoever she really is taught me a bad lesson! That any old bunch of idiots can write a children’s novel...” Lisa ranted.

Homer gasped as a lightbulb appeared on his head. “I know five idiots!”

“Yeah sure... if you don’t mind taking advantage of children’s trust and lying to them... yep you cash in those easy checks...”

“I can make money?!” Homer gasped.

“Yeah sure but you’d ruin kids’ dreams and hopes that their books were down to some talented author...” Lisa sighed.

“But I’d be rich right?” Homer asked.

“Oh sure Dad. In fact you’d get away with it like so many others... it would be the perfect crime...” said Lisa.

“The perfect crime eh?” Homer asked.

Italian Job letters appeared reading “The book job”


Noiseland Arcade.

Bart is at his favourite arcade playing fruit shoot. Not affiliated with Robinson’s fruit shoot... mmmmm! Portable diluted fruit juice...

“It’s a game where you shoot fruit, narrator... now stop drooling on the keyboard!” Bart sighed as he was shooting cartoon fruits.

Suddenly a player 2 joined his game.

“Whatever the job is, I am not interested...” Bart sighed ignoring whoever joined his game.

We pan out to Oscar as player 2. He was guffawing and singing the banana boat song. With politically correct lyrics.

“Hey Mr Fruit salad man! Give me your banana! Me come and me want some fun!”

“Oz! You are not in this scene. Go away...” Bart sighed.

Homer arrived drinking a soda. “Sorry boy I got side tracked.” Oscar sighed and handed his Fruit Shooter gun controller over to Homer.

“As I was saying. Whatever the job is, I’m not interested...” said Bart.

“A million bucks has changed minds stupider than yours.” said Homer.

“I like the beat, play me the tune.” said Bart focused on his game.

“We’re taking down kids who read...” said Homer.

“Chapter book crowd? That’s a juicy peach, but where is the cream?” Bart asked.

“I’m gathering a tween lit gang write...” Homer explained.

“A tween lit gang write?” Bart asked.

“But this Babar needs a Zephyr...” said Homer.

“Babar! King of elephants!!” Oscar yelled dramatically

Bart hand gagged Oscar. “Ssshhh!”

“Zephyr?!” Bart asked Homer.

“You’re the Zephyr.” Homer explained

Oscar made a muffled comment.

“This better not turn out like Kansas City...” Bart groaned.

“It won’t be anything like Kansas City...” Homer replied.


Next they recruited Skinner.

“Hey! I’m not an idiot! I’m a grade school principal!” Skinner yelled as he put out his mother’s bloomers. Eeeeew!

“Yeah but you’re a spineless loser who still lives with his mother and probably dresses up as her while murdering people. Now are you in or not?” Homer asked.

“And you know all the logic behind fantasy novels like how all the main characters are orphans etc.” said Bart.

“Yes...” Skinner sighed.

At an apartment.

“Come on beautiful! We need you! So is that a yes?” Homer asked.

Patty punched him hard.

“Ow!” Homer was sent out the flat and flying into the hall wall by the lunch.

“Come on Aunt Patty! You’ve read more fantasy novels to choke a hippogriff!” Bart asked his aunty.

“What’s a hippogriff?” Homer groaned.

Patty looked at her shelves of fantasy novels.

“Yes it’s true... I’m fluent in all fantasy languages from Dothraki to Parselmouth...” said Patty going over her novels.

“Coooool! She’d be a perfect date for Comic Book Guy! They can talk fictional made up languages to each other!” said Oscar.

“Yeah except Aunt Patty is a lesbian now.” said Bart.

“So are you in or not?” Homer asked Patty nursing his injuries.

She said yes I am! in Parselmouth.

Bart and Homer rolled their eyes at her pointless enthusiasm for fictional languages in fantasy novels.


Then they went to Moe’s tavern and asked him.

“No. Absolutely no way?” said Moe.

“Moe we weren’t asking you... we were talking to Lenny...” said Homer.

Lenny was there dressed up nice for some reason.

“Sorry guys. I’ve just adopted a capuchin monkey and I can’t leave it alone during the bonding phase!” said Lenny showing inside his jacket he had a capuchin monkey.

“Omg! It’s so cute! I want a capuchin monkey!” Oscar whined.

“No way! My lady hates monkeys! For some reason.” Homer replied.

“I want a monkey!” Oscar screamed.

“What happened to your hooked on monkey phonics monkey?” Homer asked.

“I dunno.” said Oscar.

“Look I’ve published several successful children’s books.” said Moe.

“And there was a random reference to you reading to children and you threatened me to keep my mouth shut about it.” said Homer. “You’re in.”

Homer and his book gang were walking the street. “Now we need a guy with a computer.” said Homer.

They were talking to Professor Frink on his doorstep. He had gadget helmet thing on his head.

“Do you have a computer?” Homer asked him.

“Um yes I do.” said Frink.

“You’re in.” said Homer.

“In what?” Frink asked.

They were all in Bart’s room thinking. They couldn’t help but gather that another member was missing.

“Ah we’ve got five members anyway...” said Homer.

Lisa was not happy when she found out what they were doing. Co authoring a book together.

“So you’re just doing this for the money?!” Lisa asked.

“We’re doing it because we can! Five brains is better than one!” said Bart.

“Ooooooh! I’ll show you a genius can write a novel on their own! It will be a story personal to me! Ad it will be a major success! Grrrrr! Razzafrazzle (Mutley gibberish.)” Lisa boasted she could prove them wrong and write a novel singlehandedly.

Plot 3[]

Lisa got started but quickly got distracted by how messy her records were. “A Bach in with the Debussy’s?! I’ll have to tidy these up first!”

Then she played Boggle online.

Meanwhile Homer’s gang were already brainstorming a children’s fantasy novel.

“Okay people how do we start a children’s fantasy novel series?” Bart asked.

“The main character is always an orphan.” said Patty. In a thinking cloud was a diagram of a child and two older figures. The two older figures were replaced with grave stones.

“The main character has a place of work or hobby they and other characters can gather at as the overall setting of the world. Ie a school! But it could be a magic school!” said Skinner. In the brain storm cloud a school appeared and became a castle.

“And the main character always turns out to be magical or the chosen one!” said Moe.

The child figure with the grave stones started glowing with a green aura.

“So.... we have a hero who is an orphan, he attends a magic school and his supernatural powers are... Oh I know! He or she can be a vampire!” said Homer.

“Those vampires?” Patty asked pointing to books on vampire cheerleaders. “Or those?” Books on southern vampires. The south shall bite again! Ahahahaha! (“Narrator that was just stupid...” said Bart) “Or these guys?” Patty pointed to books on vampire babysitters. With scary covers of the poor unfortunate children being terrorised by their undead blood sucking babysitter.

“Cooooool! Vampirates!” said Bart.

Ace sighed and shook his head while face palming.

“Uhhhhhh.... so many vampires...” the gang groaned.

“Yes the vampires, with the fangs and the capes and the medals! Nobody knows how they earned them...” Frink sighed after having an off tangent monologue again.

“That’s because you people never ask me about my Olympic medals!” Ace ranted wearing Olympic medals.

“Will you go away!?” Bart yelled at Ace. “You are not in our writers club and besides you’d just shut down our ideas because you hate any modern vampire stories!”

“Because they suck! And not in a good way!” Ace retorted.

“Face it this ship is sinking. Let’s all go our separate ways, get new faces and return in a month.” said Moe.

However as they fled a gun went off. This stopped them wondering who was shooting.

Bart had a sound making children book. It was about cowboys and one of the buttons made the sound of a gun being fired.

“No one is going anywhere...” He explained.

Everyone sat down.

“Okay this vampire genre thing has sucked out...” said Bart.

Ace hissed and bared his fangs.

Bart stuffed a garlic bulb in his mouth. Ace collapsed. “We need a new monster then.” Ace spat out the garlic. “Ptooey!”

The gang thought.

Some kids screamed at Moe. “Aaaaaaagh! A troll!”

“Hey! I ain’t a troll! Look I bleed red blood like everyone else!” Moe pricked his finger. He bled green blood for some reason. “It always starts out green... but it’ll change colour...”

“That’s it! Our hero can be a troll!” said Bart.

“And the school can be under a bridge!” said Skinner.

“The Brooklyn Bridge!” said Frink,

“And the cool kids are elves. The cheerleaders are pixies... and the stoners are uh... gargoyles!” said Patty.

“And they play a sport that doesn’t make sense called Fuzzlepitch!” said Frink. In the idea cloud was a troll riding a dragon while holding a lacrosse net.

“And the trolls can be the ones with outrageous brightly coloured punk hair! Like troll dolls!” said Oscar holding some troll dolls.

“Um... no...” said Bart. Thinking that was a bad idea.


“We’ve cracked it!” said Bart.

“We’re gonna be rich!” said Homer.

Suddenly one of the guest celebrities of this episode appeared, having eavesdropped on their conversation. That celeb was Neil Gaiman.

“Pardon me, but are you folks scheming to coauthor a series of children’s novels?” asked Neil Gaiman.

“Okay Stonehenge!” snapped Moe as he grabbed Neil by the front of his jacket in a threatening manner. “Let’s see how good you are at eavesdropping without a throat!”

“Holy crud!” Cheatsy Koopa yelped frightened.

“Um. Wouldn’t it make more sense to remove his eyes and ears if he’s been eavesdropping?’ Oscar asked.

Oscar’s comment made Cheatsy queasy.

“No don’t kill him!” Patty stopped Moe. “That’s Neil Gaiman!”

“Kneel Gay Man?” Oscar asked.

“No... Neil Gaiman...” Bart sighed. Explaining exasperated to Oscar’s stupid response.

“I don’t care if he’s the author of Sandman Volume One: Preludes and Nocturnes! No one spies on us!” Moe ranted.

Neil explains his experience as an author could be valuable to them and offers to join their team.

“The king of fantasy on our fantasy novel? Of course!” Moe welcomed him in.

“Okay Neil you’re in. Your Job is to get lunch. And lose the British accent.” said Bart.

“Oh fuck off you twat!” Oscar swore angrily at Bart’s continued xenophobia towards Britain and stormed off.

Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Cheeseburgers and fries. I’m all over that pal!” said Neil and he went to get lunch.


Lisa was in a bistro with her laptop still trying to write a novel.

“Okay connect up with their WiFi in case I need to research something... Actually I better order something if I’m using their internet.

“Don’t bother Sis. All their coffees are pretentious and needlessly varied for what should be coffee, milk or black. One or two sugars. Not pumpkin spiced latte (he said pumpkin spiced latte in a handbag voice while doing finger quotes)...l” Hugo replied. “And a hipster yelled at me for calling a biscotti a cookie.”

“What can I get you kids? Cappuccino? Mocha? Americano? Expresso? Macchiato? Latte? Frappe?” The waiter asked. “Pumpkin spiced Latte? Non soya...” Eventually Hugo had enough.

“ENOUGH!! You do not need to be so bloody fussy and pretentious over coffee!! I just want a regular black coffee no sugar!“ Hugo ranted.

“Any Biscotti?” The waiter asked frightened.


“I’ll take that as a no.” The bistro waiter left frightened.

“I’m telling mom you cursed...” said Lisa.

“GOOD!!” Hugo yelled.


There was a musical montage of what the characters were doing. Bart’s team we’re making great progress on their novel. Lisa was wasting time distracted by things.

Patty made a chart of tropes and ideas the team made use off.

Lisa made a pencil castle sculpture out of pencils.

Skinner put up pictures of the trolls. Including a leather jacket greaser kid troll. Ayyyyyyyy!

Oscar laughed.

“I’m sure he was in that cartoon you watched about that yellow guy with the blue circle and green triangle shoulder consciences.” Bart sighed.

”Twinkle the dream being.” said Oscar.

Lisa looked up cat videos.

Oscar kept adding to the character picture wall where Skinner added the Greaser kid, pictures he photoshopped of Troll kids for the book with brightly coloured and wild overgrown, out of any style Troll Doll hair.

Bart face palmed.

Then Lisa did the hula hoop dance from Radio Bart she was doing at the beginning of the episode.

In the kitchen Bart, Patty, Moe, Homer, Skinner and Frink were debating ideas while drinking their beverages of choice. Someone had Duff, likely Homer. Someone had a mug of coffee. Someone had a cup of tea, Bart had Buzz Cola. Etc.

Lisa finished her pointless and stupid pencil castle sculpture.

There was writing and typing from both teams.

Lisa then found a stain on her window.

At Moe’s Neil arrived with pizzas. The happy reactions suggest the team liked the pizzas he got. Ooooh we need conflict here!

Bart opened one of the pizza boxes. “That meatball one looked tasty...” he commented. However in the box he opened was... anchovy pizza... “Anchovy?! Yeeeeeeuck!”

“Ugh!” Homer groaned.

“Get outta here with that!” Patty did not like that pizza either.

“Gross dude!” Michael, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello yelled in disgust as even the pizza loving Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hate anchovy pizza.

“Oz no! No Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!” Bart whined.

“Ay caramba!” said Michelangelo. Bart gave him a look. “What? We both say Cowabunga!”

“Mikey I haven’t said Cowabunga since the nineties...” said Bart.

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Heroes in a half shell! Turtle Power!” Oscar sung the theme tune. Bart throttled him for being hopelessly geekish over nineties cartoons.

“Oscar stop adding needless filler!” Bart ranted as he strangled him.

“Never!” Oscar gasped.


Lisa meanwhile took to wasting valuable writing time she should be using to catch up with Bart cleaning her window of a distracting stain.

At Moe’s the writing team were sleeping. Neil woke them up by giving them their beverages of choice. He gave Bart a Buzz cola, Skinner a coffee, Homer a Duff beer and he zapped Moe with a taser. Coooool!

Lisa continues cleaning her window once she finds the stain is on the outside.

Bart’s team were reading through the finished books at the pool table.

Lisa watched a marathon of Friday Night Lights episodes.

Skinner finished the musical interlude of Oceans Eleven style music by reading the Trolls of Underbridge Academy book.

“And so Lucinda places the fifth shard in the stain glassed window. Which now clearly read, your parents are alive. Gregor turned to his twin sister, and they both understood. Their adventures were just beginning.” said Skinner. Best ending ever!

“Best ending ever!” said Comic Book Guy being the test audience.

“It’s good! Weekly reader star section good!” said Frink.

“I just hope we put enough Steampunk in it. Whatever that is.” said Bart.

Meanwhile Oscar used necromancy to resurrect his dead sister Big Mouth to ask for her opinion on it. The grotesquely enlarged mouth with swollen lips and not much else for a face with arms and legs read the final page about Lucinda the Troll and the stained glass window.

The maw that was apparently Big Mouth Tamaki, or a walking potato with an enormous mouth and swollen lips laughed. the she sung a ridiculous song. “The hills are allllliiiiive! With the sound of Lucindaaaaaah!” She had obsessions like her autistic little brother but hers were certain names she found funny like Lucinda and William.

Oscar sighed.


Who wants to see my cover mock up?” Frink asked using a giant laminator printing thingsmajig. The massive poster of the cover appeared and Frink laid it on the pool table.

“The Troll Twins of Underbridge Academy.” Homer read the cover. “Ha! Gregor looks just like you Moe!” Homer laughed pointing at Gregor on the cover in his school uniform with his back to his sister and they were both glaring at each other.

“Oh shut up!” Moe snapped at him because everyone seems to think Moe is a troll or a goblin.

“I’m so proud of us...” said Neil Gaiman.

“Oooooooh! You didn’t write any of it!” Bart ranted.

“This tuna didn’t salad itself!” Neil replied pointing to a bowl of Tuna salad.

“Actually I did.” said the tuna salad.


Meanwhile Lisa was still stuck on an idea for a book! Ha!

“Oh I know! A mermaid falls in love with a man on land!” said Lisa. “I’m a genius!” Then she saw she had a Disney’s The Little Mermaid poster. “Gaaaaaaah! Writing is hard!” She screamed.

“Hey Lis. Mind if we use your printer to print off our manuscript?” Bart asked printing lots of pages.

“Our completed Manuscript!” said Homer smugly.

Lisa sighed. “Fine... you win... I guess writing a book by your is harder than it looks...”

“I wasn’t aware we were betting.” said Homer.

“Oh well. It’s great to get one over Lisa for once! Nyahahahaha!” Bart laughed.

“Hey this is rather good! Brilliant in fact!” Lisa read their manuscript.

“Yeah well it wasn’t just us two. We got help from Aunt Patty, Skinner, Moe and Frink...” said Bart.

“Now we just need to get The Troll Twins of Underbridge Academy published.” said Homer.

It would remain to be seen if it did succeed. The end!

To be continued?