The Bob Next Door Sideshow Bob returns to terrorise Bart once again! But he finds his lack of face disturbing in this spoof of Nicholas Cage’s Face Off! With the face swapping and bald John Travolta!
Contents
Plot[]
The title gag is Krusty and Sideshow Mel performing a trapeze act.
The billboard gag is “Springfield retirement home. New admissions every flu season.” With a picture of Grampa Simpson.
The chalkboard gag is “Batman is nothing without his utility belt.”
And Oscar writing, “Bateman is nothing without American Psycho.” Bart grimaces and they skateboard home when the bell rings.
The couch gag is Harold from the purple crayon drawing the Simpson living room as a line drawing. The Simpsons then sit on the couch. Homer whispers to Harold to draw him a can of Duff. Harold does so and draws a can of Duff. Homer pats his head.
Everyone in town was at a town meeting. Kinda like in Papa Don’t Leech when Lurleen Lumpkin came back, Quimby was explaining the town was in dire bankruptcy and debt.
“People this is urgent! We are so broke we can no longer just cook the books and fudge the numbers!” said Quimby.
“Mmmmmmmmm! Fudge!” Homer drooled. He day dreamed of a book being fried in a frying pan and a chocolate fudge dipped number three. Mmmmmmm! Imagination...
However Marge turned up in his dream. “Homer this is serious! Pay attention!” Marge in the dream asked him. However Homer willed himself into his dream. “Oooooooh! Marge!” He willed her with his imagination into wearing just a sexy bikini and the frying pan frying a book into a hot tub. They giggled and got in. Homer took the big chocolate fudge number three and licked and bit it while hugging his wife in the dream.
Marge sighed and popped his dream cloud with a pin.
“So as cost cutting measures... we will no longer be picking up dead animals from road kill.” said Quimby.
A garbage truck scooping up dead animals like foxes and deers was told by the boss to dump them back on the road.
Krusty saw the dead animals and shrugged with a grunt and whistles for a Krusty Burger Truck to collect the dead animals.
“Education will take some cut backs.” said Quimby.
The school bus arrives at school one morning with the kids. Namely Bart, Lisa and Hugo.
“Kids due to budget cuts, we are cutting school hours!” said Skinner.
“By how much Principal Skinner?” Lisa asked.
“Take these kids home Otto!” Skinner tapped the school bus and it drove the kids home.
“Yaaaaaaaaay!” Everyone except Lisa and a Martin cheered.
“And we will release every low level criminal.” said Quimby. That meant Snake, a guy who steals newspaper vending machines and the guy who eats grapes at Apu’s shop. A guy ran into the Kwik e mart and ate the grapes.
“Stop that! Stop that at once sir!” Apu told him off.
...
Homer was driving home erratically.
“Homer slow down!” Marge told him.
“Why? The town can’t afford to enforce its traffic laws now!” said Homer.
“Lou how fast was that car going?” Wiggum asked Lou.
“I don’t know chief, we can’t afford a new radar gun! This is just my gun attached to a thermos!” said Lou.
“Well it’s better than my gun.” Wiggum just had a child’s drawing of a gun.
“Hey that Ralphie is becoming quite the artist!” said Lou.
“I drew this...” said Wiggum annoyed.
“Oh....” said Lou.
At Evergreen Terrace Ruth was moving out.
“Ruth are you leaving?” Marge asked her.
“No I’m trying again with Austin. And to make some extra dough I am renting my house out to random tenants. So you won’t know who you might be getting Marge.” said Ruth. “And Homer... take in those old pumpkins or get rid of them...” she groaned as we pan over to some rotten pumpkins.
“Never!” Homer was being stubborn.
“Oh well, come on Laura...” said Ruth. She drove off with her daughter and a truck left after them with their things.
“Oh! A new neighbour! Oh! What if they have two Barts?” Marge asked.
Bart and Hugo high fived one another and laughed evilly.
“Yes I get it boys...” Marge sighed. “Or four adult Barts...”
She dreams of four adult Barts on bikes tied to Skinner’s arms and legs about to tear him apart in a medieval execution.
They were laughing evilly.
“Well at least they’re learning their fractions.” said Skinner.
“Oooooooh!” Marge sighed as her dream ended.
...
At Ruth’s house a cartoon smell wafted over to the Simpsons and went up their noses.
Lisa sniffs. “What’s that smell?”
“Mmmmmmmm! It’s cookies! Home made cookies...” Bart drools. They floated carried off by the smell as a finger beckoning them like in a cartoon.
“Stop that! They’re not for you!” said Marge pulling them back to the ground. “They’re to make the new house smell enticing so people will want to buy it.”
“Oh come on Marge! What fat balding middle aged- Mmmmmmmm! Cookies! Must buy house...” said Homer.
“Homer no!” Marge exclaimed.
“Marge get loan preapproved, offer over asking... waive inspections...” said Homer floating after the cartoon smell of cookies as it beckoned him.
Marge sighed.
“Two day escrow! Initial the Radon disclaimer and... done!” said Homer sat on Ruth’s door step.
“Sorry, a tenant has already rented.” said Cookie Kwan. Mmmmmmm! Cookie...
“But I already sold my loan into the bank piece by piece! To hedge funds and various municipalities!” Homer whined.
Meanwhile in Iceland... the country not the British supermarket...
“Death to Homer!” The Icelandic people cry in an angry riot with flaming torches and pitchforks outside a bankrupt building.
“Oh well. At least we have Beowulf...” said an Iceland guy.
“That’s not us...” said another Iceland guy.
“Nooooooooo!” screamed the first.
...
Marge and Lisa were spying on the new neighbour as his or her moving truck arrived and the movers put the furniture inside.
“Credenza, credenza... (Ikea furniture with stupid Finnish or Icelandic names), an Ottoman!” Marge said as the furniture came out.
“Mom it’s really superficial to judge our new neighbour on his or her furniture.” said Lisa. “Oh my god! He drives a hybrid!”
A blue hybrid car pulled up and a fruity looking smiling man got out. He has all sorts of antiques and Knick knacks so he is weird okay?
“He has koi fish!” Lisa said as the man was carrying fish in a plastic bag. Poor fish.
“And koi mean... water feature...” they sighed happily.
“Dames...” Bart groaned. “Well I’m off to go introduce myself, Bart Simpson style!” He hawked a loogie and spat in his hands. Gross! “Good afternoon sir... I’m Bart Simpson! No doubt you’ve read about me in the nuisance neighbour magazine...” Bart greeted the new neighbour to cause trouble.
“Hello Bart.” said the neighbour in a familiar baritone voice.
Bart recognises the voice. “Uh... come again?” He shivers frightened.
“Hello Bart.” said the man.
Bart gasps as he has memories of his arch nemesis, Sideshow Bob! Dun dun dun! There is a montage of clips from the Great Louse Detective, Brother from another series, Cape Feare and two unseen adventures in which Bart is tied to the Statue of Liberty and Bob comes out of her nose! XD! And one where Bob says hi to Bart while he is on the subway train.
“Nyaaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” Bart screams.
“Side what now?” the neighbour asked.
Bart runs off screaming as we fade to black for commercials. Dun dun dun!
...
After Commercials the Simpsons find someone hammering and all their pictures in picture frames and planks of wood nailed to the windows and door.
Bart was boarding up the front door.
“Wow you’re really great with the tools when you want to be!” said Homer.
“Ahem! Saturday’s of Thunder! My soapbox car until I let you help me...” Bart explained.
“D’oh!” Homer groaned.
“Why do you think that harmless looking man is Sideshow Bob?” asked Marge. The new neighbour was playing with a big sheep dog with a big wet shiny black nose that looked exactly like Max from Disney’s the Little Mermaid.
“Oh cool! Big wet shiny nosed doggy!” said Oscar in a babyish manner.
“Mom, I know he doesn’t look much like Sideshow Bob, but I recognise that voice anywhere!” said Bart.
“Oh sweetie! Lots of people sound like Sideshow Bob! Like Frasier off of Cheers!” said Marge comforting Bart.
“Or Frasier off of Frasier!” said Homer.
“Or Lieutenant Commander Tom Dodge from Down Periscope!” said Marge.
Oscar laughed hysterically. “Hahahahaha! Oh! It’s true! They’re all voiced by Kelsey Grammar! Ah hahahaha!”
“Yes that’s the joke Oz...” Lisa sighed.
“Ah! Look! Your voice actress Nancy Cartwright makes a cameo in Cheers!” Oscar was watching that episode of Cheers where Nancy is talking to Dr Crane.
“Ay carumba!” Bart gasped. Then he shook his head. “No let’s not be silly! This is serious Oz! I know that guy is Sideshow Bob!”
“Honey, his name is Walt Warren and he is a very nice man! He stopped me driving away with my coffee cup on top of my car!” said Marge.
Walt was being nice and giving all the children toffee apples/candy apples. Okay he is up to something! Like locking children in his cellar!
“Ah, really? Well maybe I- Aaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” Bart screamed as behind a curtain in Walt’s house was the silhouette of Sideshow Bob. However it was just Walt with a mop cleaning up spilt toffee from the sidewalk and stroking Ralph. Weirdo...
“Oh...” said Bart realising his fear was playing tricks on him again.
“Hehehe! Stupid kid! Frightened of silhouettes!” said Homer. “Ooooooooh!” He saw the silhouette of a sexy lady at Flanders’s house however they were just Ned getting some tubs of ice cream from his fridge. “Oh...” said Homer disappointed. “Wait! Ice cream!” But the ice cream was low fat frozen yogurt. “Oooooooh! Nothing is ever boobs or ice cream...” Homer groaned.
...
Walt was putting up a bird house. Bart and Milhouse were spying on him.
“I know I’m not crazy! I just know that man is Sideshow Bob! And I’ll prove it!” said Bart. “I have here a script of Three Little Maids from a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. It didn’t come up much but Sideshow Bob loves Gilbert and Sullivan! He can not resist singing along!”
“Okay. Which one am I again?” Milhouse asked.
“Yum yum. I’m Peep Bo.” said Bart.
Milhouse rang his mom on his mobile. “Mom! Dad! I got the lead part!”
They picked up fans and sung Three Little maids.
“Three little maids from school are we! Pert as a school girl can be!” They sung.
“Oh no! Who will sing the next line!” said Milhouse.
“We need a third maid!” said Bart. “Three little maids! Three little maids!” Walt was watering his plants. “Three... little... maids!” Bart sung lowering a fan on a fishing hook. He is trying to catch geisha women...
“That is some great singing boys, but I am not a fan of that particular music. My radio dial never strays from 82.5! Best of the morning sport and 80s rock!” said Walt.
“He’s right. It is a great radio station.” said Milhouse.
Walt also mentions how he likes Rodeo music.
“Shut up! Shut up! I know who you really are! You’ll slip up at some point!” Bart ranted and stormed off.
Milhouse shrugged to Walt. “Thanks for returning my frisbee Mr Warrem.”
“Any time Milhouse.” said Walt.
Plot 2[]
Walt held a welcoming party for all of his new neighbours to welcome himself to the neighbour hood.
“I am so happy to welcomed so warmly by you all! Now in return I offer my WiFi to you all on the house!”
Everyone chatters happily and they use their phones. “The book I ordered is gonna be delayed!” said Lenny.
Bart snuck into Walt’s house.
“Come on there must be something incriminating in here... let’s see magazines... Calm read... Sleepers digest... Not Mad magazine... a puppy calendar? Awwww! He can’t get out of the pumpkin!” said Bart cooing at the puppy calendar. Then he shook his head. “Focus! I have to find evidence that Walt is Sideshow Bob!”
He goes through Walt’s stuff. He has a Krusty cereal. “Nope.”
“Nun uh...”
“Oh come on!”
Oscar is eating the moving in cookies to lure in buyers because apparently the Simpsons made the street unpleasant to new residents.
For example there was that time Ned moved out when he was angry at a Homer for not telling him about his college grad tenants and a couple were about to move in saw Homer naked in the kiddie pool eating a hotdog and left in disgust.
“Oscar who told you you could eat his cookies!” Bart scolded him.
“Mmmmmmmm! These cookies are so good! I now know how live action Phil Hartman felt in Jingle all the way!” said Oscar enjoying the cookies.
“Put da cookies down! Now!” Arnold Schwarzenegger shouted at him.
“Oz... Arnold... I am trying to find incriminating evidence! Zip it!” Bart sighed.
Bart was going through Walt’s cutlery draw. “Ugh! It’s jammed with a potato masher! Only a diabolical person would do that!”
“Bart...” Marge was behind Bart.
Bart screamed. “Oh it’s you Mom.”
“Bart why are you indoors during an outdoor party?” Marge asked him.
“I just know Walt is Sideshow Bob! Look! Who needs a knife this big!” Bart pulled out a huge knife.
“Uh I do...” said Oscar pulling out a machete.
“Oh Bart that’s probably a deboner knife.” said Marge.
“Hahahaha! De boner!” Bart laughed.
“Mmmmmmmm.... boner...” said Oscar being perverted.
Marge sighed.
Bart was somehow suddenly frightened.
“Mom! I’m scared!” He hugged her dress. Awwww! Apron hugging!
“Hmmmmmm! I can see there is only one way to settle this...” Marge sighed.
...
Marge to Bart to Springfield Penitentiary prison. The guards let them in the high security prison.
A guard guided them down a wing where Bob’s cell was at the end. You’d think Bart and Marge would recognise this jail wing. It was where Wiggum swapped Decapitating Harry with a non verbal poisoner. And then he had to use a fork on the palm scanner of Bob’s security door cell.
However there were differences. Namely Decapitating Hardy did not make a cameo. Awwww! I like Decapitating Harry! And Bob’s cell was a heavily bolted cell with eye viewing slots like modern cell doors. The prisoners groping Marge as she went down the cell block are the reason why doors with a viewing slot are now used and not cartoon jail bars...
Marge saw inside Bob’s cell was a soft cushioned or padded cell with Bob in a straight jacket writhing and scribbling Die Bart! Die! All over the walls of his cell. He must have really lost it after Funeral for a Fiend... Marge gasped.
“What? Let me see! I can’t reach!” Bart whined.
“Oh my apologies.” said the guard opening a crotch level viewing slot.
“Oh yeah.... that is Bob!” said Bart seeing Bob in the cell.
“Uh officer... why is there a viewing slot down there... is that for Gino?” Oscar asked the guard.
“Oh no!” The guard chuckled. “Some of the guards like to torment Bob by peeing into his cell!”
“Eeeeew!” said Marge.
Bob clambered right up to the viewing slot glaring at Bart. However he was strangely unable to speak except muffle.
“Well I suppose you were right Mom. I have nothing to worry about. Except my other mortal enemies such as Ms Botz... Dr Demento... Caesar and Ugolin....” said Bart.
“Good, lets get outta here...” Marge did not like the men’s prison. Once again the guard drew too much attention to her and the prisoners tried to grope her.
“Guys! I’m married!” said Marge.
“If you were my wife I wouldn’t have killed her.” said a prisoner.
...
However that night Bob smiled and swallowed his crayon choking on it.
“Good lord!” The guard went into his cell to save him but he spat the crayon and it pierced the guard in the eye. “Aaaaaaiiighh!” the guard screamed. Bob quickly took his taser and zapped him unconscious and escaped.
Sirens were already going off and spotlights looking for Bob. He hid as a bush via his wacky hair do from the hounds but one sniffed him and peed on him. Gross! He shook his hair and made his escape. Very soon he was in Springfield and heading for Evergreen Terrace...
Bart woke up the next morning in a better mood. “Ah... it feels great to be alive...”
Marge was downstairs getting the morning paper.
However Walt came to see the Simpsons and spooked Marge so she yelped.
“Marge I feel so bad that Bart and I went off on the wrong foot. So to make it up I’d like to take him to a hockey game if you’d allow me. I have a spare ticket.” said Walt.
“Well... that is very uh forward from a new neighbour...” said Marge. He is a freaking weirdo! “But okay why not!”
“And Bart, what do you think? The Ice-o-topes are playing the Falcons!” said Walt.
“They stole the last game from us! Mom can I go! Can I?” Bart fell for it hook line and sinker.
“Did you tidy your room?” Marge asked.
“No...” Bart groaned.
“Good! That will give me something to do!” said Marge. Um ok...
Bart left with Walt. While driving Walt leered at him with an evil grin! Aaaaaaaaghhhh! He’s a creep!”
Meanwhile Marge was doing the dishes when Sideshow Bob was at the window! Holy crap!
“Nyaaaaaaaaaagh!” Marge screamed and squirted him in the face with the extendable kitchen tap. Americans have fancy kitchen sinks.
Homer grabbed Bob and crushed his neck under the window. “Right that’s it Bob! I am going to do to you what you should have done to my son a long tine ago!” said Homer angry.
“B-b-but I am the real Walt Warren!” said Bob. Who apparently is Walt somehow. And he spoke like Don Knotts.
“But how?! We sent Bart off with Walt- Oh my god!” Marge gasped.
Meanwhile Walt drove past the hockey stadium.
“Uh Mr Warren... you’re driving past the Hockey stadium...” said Bart.
“Oh Bart you don’t have to call me Mr Warren any more.” said Walt.
“Uh?” Bart asked.
“You see Bart, you were right about me all along!” Walt took off his loafers uncurling huge feet... “I am Sideshow Bob! Mwuhahahaha!” Dun dun dun!
“Nyaaaaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” Bart screamed. He tried to get out but Bob locked the doors remotely.
“And thanks for taking note of my love for Gilbert and Sullivan. It was so infuriating not to sing along to your delightful performance! So I’ll spend our one last car ride together singing all the Gilbert and Sullivan I damn well like!” Bob too, out a fan and began singing Gilbert and Sullivan.
Bart was horrified. Not only because he was frightened of Bob. But because of Bob singing Gilbert and Sullivan...
...
At Evergreen Terrace. Ned was wondering why his hose didn’t work. Then he saw Homer had taken some of it into the Simpsons house.
Homer was tying up Bob who was apparently not Bob.
“I’ll prove to you I am not Sideshow Bob said Walt Warren with a Don Kmotts voice. “Bob has really big feet.”
“Yes that’s true! It’s actually rather comical!” Lisa giggled.
“These are my feet.” Walt took off his shoes he has tiny feet.
“You’re like a Chinese empress!” said Homer. See foot binding.
“You see Bob and I were Cell Mates...” Walt told the story.
Bob in Walt’s body continued the story to Bart having taped him up.
“You see Walt was a perfect match for my majestic stature and shared my regal looks...” said Bob.
Bart who was webbed up with sticky tape did a chit chat hand gesture. Bob taped up his arm so he couldn’t move.
“Walt was only in for a minor offence...” said Bob putting emphasis on minor.
“Hahahaha! A Minor!” Oscar laughed.
“How the devil did you get in here?” Bob asked.
“I’m the narrator. I get everywhere to tell the story. And of course I know everything too...” said Oscar.
“Do I win? Do I finally kill Bart?” asked Bob.
“Now you know by now I am not gonna spoil things...” said Oscar.
Bob sighed and continued his story to Bart.
...
Basically Bob ripped of the movie Face off with Nicholas Cage and John Travolta. By swapping faces with Walt. One night Bob was measuring Walt with a phrenology thingy to measure his face.
“Bob why do you keep measuring my face...” Walt asked him.
“No reason, bunkie...” said Bob.
“Well... I suppose it’s better than what my last cell mate did to me...” said Walt. “Goodnight Bob.”
“Yes, goodnight Walt...” Bob drugged Walt putting him in a deep sleep.
Then the surgery! Mwuhahahaha!
Bob cut off Walt’s face and somehow removed his own. In gory detail! Eeeeeew!
“Basically you copied Face off with Nicholas Cage...” Bart sighed, some how having his mouth tape removed.
“Or that time the Joker had his face cut off...” said Oscar,
“Yeah but he didn’t swap faces with anyone Oz...” said Bart.
Bob sighed and taped up their mouths so they couldn’t speak.
“Walt was due to be released for his minor offence so once the face transplant was successful. After a few mishaps...” Bob sewed Walt’s face upside down. Eeeeew! “I was of course released because the guards thought I was Walt.”
Bob as Walt was also delighted to discover Walt was extremely wealthy.
“You started with 22,000 dollars but we invested it wisely. said the guard.
“And of course my release only came about because of dear Quimby’s naive solutions to his over spending...” Bob left along with the minor offenders at the start of the episode when Quimby ordered their releases.
“And then with Walt’s money I bought the house next to yours. So now we are neighbours...” said Bob.
“This is some horrible nightmare...” Bart was horrified.
“Nope! It’s all to real... and after I kill you I will put the house back on the market which will be truly murder! Gahahahaha!” Bob explained.
“Yeah because no one will buy it! Ahahahaha!” said Bart laughing. Bob taped up his mouth again.
...
The Simpsons released Walt and he told them the rest of his story as he led them to his house, which Bob stupidly left unlocked.
“Why didn’t you tell the guards?” Lisa asked him.
“I tried! But I couldn’t get my new lips to work so I just babbled and the guards thinking I was insane threw me in the cell you found me in! I was writing Bart will die! To warn you!” said Walt.
“Well to be honest saying Bart will Die is rather open to interpretation...” said Marge.
Homer busted open a door in Ruth’s old house. Bob had decorated a room with pictures of Bart and bloody messages of Die Bart! Die! Some pictures had knives stabbed into them. And there were dummies of Bart etc.
“Eeeeeew! That man really hates Bart!” Homer shivered at the creepy shrine.
“Ah! I know where Bob is taking Bart!” said Lisa. She had a five corners leaflet and Bob had written on it “Bart dies here” in the centre. He was going to kill him in multiple states which causes a loop hole to let him get away somehow... I’ll uh let Bob explain it...
Plot 3[]
Bob stopped at a garage cafe for a snack and some coffee, presumably. Poor Bart was locked in Bob’s car screaming for help or trying to with his mouth taped up.
“Awwwww... he went in the service station cafe without us! How rude!” said Oscar.
The cafe waitress asked Bob if he wanted coffee.
“Oh no, caffeine makes me jittery! And I need a steady firm grip for a job I am doing.,” said Bob menacingly.
Then the waitress was smitten with him. “Oh your stitches are undone! Let me-“
“No ma’am!” Bob protested. She pulled off his face and screamed. “My face! My beautiful borrowed face!” Sideshow Bob stuck Walt’s face back on and tied a belt round his forehead.
Bob ran off.
“No wait! I don’t care that you don’t have a face! I just want someone to love!” The waitress cried. Um okay...
Then the Simpsons and the real Walt arrived.
“Miss, did you see this man?” Marge showed the waitress a picture of Walt whom Sideshow Bob had swapped faces with.
“Uh yes! He was riding with a little boy to Mexico!” The waitress lied.
“Mexico?” Homer asked. “Andale! Andale! (Ahn Dah Lae! Ahn Dah Lae!)”
“Ariba! Ariba!” Lisa yelled. Mmmmm! Speedy Gonzales...
“Guys don’t be silly...” Marge sighed.
“Oh thanks! Walt get in!” said Marge.
“Now hold on a minute Marge! I think she’s lying to cover for Bob because she fell in love with my face!” said Walt.
“Now come on Walt! No one could possibly fall in love with someone’s face!” said Marge.
“Yeah, for me it’s the boobs.” said Homer.
“Homer...” Marge sighed annoyed.
“Well you lot can go to New Mexico! I’m going to Five Corners to stop Bob and rescue Bart!” said Walt.
“Fine!” Marge drove off to New Mexico.
The waitress then fell in love with Walt who had Bob’s face.
“Hello handsome...” said the waitress. Um he’s married... she then pulled his face off accidentally, trying to help with his stitches.
Walt shocked quickly put his face on and took a bike and left.
“Nooooooo! Why are all the good men either gay or have no face?!” said the waitress. Because you have a weird taste in men...
...
Bob was indeed going to five corners as he drove Bart through an area with volcanic lakes and geysers.
“Welcome to five corners! Where five states meet! And you meet your doom!” said Bob to Bart.
“Yeah we know! I went here with the Simpsons on the way to Itchy and Scratchy Land...” said Oscar. “We stopped in a few places and took a few detours.”
“I don’t think Bob is interested in where we went on vacation Oz...” said Bart.
“Oh now be fair Bart... I did subject you and your family to a slideshow of my family’s holiday to England... I don’t see why I can’t listen to your tales of where you went on vacation...” said Bob.
“Oh. Then you won’t get bored by me telling you of the time the Simpsons went to Sandy beach...” said Bart.
Some time passes and Sideshow Bob, Oscar and Barf were now at Five Corners with Bob finishing explaining his evil plan.
“And by killing you here your murder will happen consecutively in five states at once! Therefore being Un prosecution able!“ said Bob boasting of some legal mumbo jumbo...
“Uh no Bob... that’s not how it works... if anything five states would all have reasonable evidence to charge you for first degree murder! In fact depending where Bart fell the states would just agree to let the one his corpse is in charge you.” said Oscar. “And by trying to commission a crime across state boarders will get the Feds on you... and, since this landmark is in Navajo, Navajo would likely have a case against you...”
“I planned this alone with Bart so I wouldn’t have to listen to insufferable know it alls...” Bob sighed.
“Well too bad. You should have really done the research...” said Oscar.
“Fine! Then I’ll kill you, then I’ll be the narrator and I will write Bart’s murder as canon! It will be greatest literacy crime since Snape killed Dumbledore!” Bob boasted pointing his gun at Oscar.
“Hey! We haven’t read that far!” Bart and Oscar whined.
“It’s a four year old book!” Bob explained flabbergasted.
“I’m a slow reader...” Bart whined.
“A fitting epitaph...” Bob said smiling evilly.
Bart winced confused.
“It means last words...” said Bob.
“Are you here to teach me or kill me...” Bart asked. Bob pointed the gun at him ready to shoot.
...
Bart had an idea to foil Bob’s plan that doesn’t actually work so don’t copy it! Bart jumped into the state Bob was in.
“What are you doing?” Bob asked.
“If we’re in the same state you can’t kill me legally. You’ll go to jail.” said Bart.
“He can’t kill you legally anyway. If an individual state can’t prosecute the federal courts still can... you really think the founding fathers didn’t cover this eventuality...” said Oscar.
“Shut up!” Bob and Bart yelled.
Bart kept hopping about. Bob stepped on a rake and it slammed in his face.
“Now cut that out!” Bob whined at the rake as he threw it away. Bart smirked.
“Enough! I’m going to kill you Bart!” Sideshow Bob with Walt’s face declared.
“Not so fast Bob!” Walt tackled Bob and wrestled the gun from him. Walt as Bob was pointing the gun at the real Bob.
“Ha! See! Even yourself is sick and tired of you!” Bart quipped.
“Now Bob, hand over my face nice and easy...” Walt demanded but something distracted him as Bob complied. “Aaaaaagh! There is a bee under my face!” Walt yelled.
Bob used this distraction to take back his gun and hold Bart and Walt hostage.
...
Meanwhile in Mexico...
Homer was ordering a taco.
“How do you say taco in Mexican?” Homer asked a vendor.
“Eh... taco...” said the vendor annoyed.
“Yeah that. Now I want...” said Homer.
“Homer can we hurry up and save Bart...” Marge sighed.
“Oh okay. Give me one meat and salad in a corn bready thing that’s crunchy not doughy.” said Homer.
“Taco...” the Mexican Vendor sighed.
...
Bob was pointing his gun at Walt.
“Now Walt, because you have my beautiful face, I’ll let you decide what state to shoot you in...” said Bob.
“Um... Hawaii?” Walt asked. Those are islands you idiot!
“Choice revoked...” said Bob flatly.
However. “Freeze face switches of east wick!” Wiggum quipped coming out of the boiling steam.
“Switches of eastwick?! Oh come on Chief...” Lou sighed.
“I’m not great at puns okay!” Wiggum sighed.
“But chief! How did you know?!” Bob asked.
“Because Bart here wasn’t entirely convinced you were Walt. So before the hockey game he called me to track you. And all hybrid cars are bugged and monitory the government... for some reason...” said Wiggum.
“Touché, Clancy...” said Bob.
“Hey! Why so familiar!” Clancy Wiggum was suspicious.
“Because now I’m not in your state! You don’t have jurisdiction chief! Mwuhahahaha!” said Bob pointing a gun at Bart.
“But I do! Partner!” said a gruff Texan police chief. “Put em up!”
Bob tried to flee but other police forces from other States arrived. Including Fonzie police. Ayyyyy!
Bob with Walt’s face realised he was hopelessly surrounded. The police from across America arrested him agreed with their comrades in the Fonzie sounding state with Aaaaayyysss! and Ooooohs! To take Bob into custody.
“Hehehehe! He got taken into that state! He is gonna find that so annoying!” Oscar giggled.
“Why?” Bart asked.
“Because those mannerisms of Ayyyyys and ooooohs might get a little annoying for someone like Bob. Even I think that state might be a little annoying.” said Oscar.
Before this conversation could continue the Simpsons arrived.
“Oh look who turned up...” Bart sighed annoyed.
“We’re so sorry Bart!” said Lisa.
“You went to Mexico didn’t you... after Walt explained we were at Five Corners...” said Oscar annoyed.
“Bob almost successfully killed me! Until Walt saved me.” said Bart. “Um can you guys hurry up and swap your faces back. You look like Bob so I naturally think...”
“It’s okay, Bob fooled us all...” said Walt.
“And we’re really sorry Bart...” Lisa sighed. “Yeah we messed up...”
“You are supposed to be the smart one! How could let Mom and Dad drive all the way to Mexico...” Bart sighed.
“I’m sorry. Can we just let this go! You’re alive and well now right?” said Lisa.
“Well... unfortunately... someone swapped your face with your butt! Hahahahaha!” Bart laughed.
“Ugh...” Lisa was annoyed at his silly remark.
“I think we’re all good now...” said Oscar knowing Bart was back in his usual silly mood, teasing his sister as usual.
...
The Simpsons and Walt returned to Evergreen Terrace.
The Simpsons were dismayed Walt immediately sold his house and started packing.
“But why?” Marge asked.
“Sideshow Bob bought this house with my money and my face! And sought to live my life!” said Walt. “But no more! Simpsons, you seem like nice people, but Springfield just isn’t the place for me. I bid you fair well.” said Walter making sure the movers packed his things, all of them. Then he left.
“It’s so sad we never got to know the real Walt Warren.” said Lisa.
“I can’t believe Sideshow Bob had us all fooled.” said Marge.
“I wonder who will move in now? Can’t be worse than a bloodthirsty murderer!” said Homer.
But the new neighbours were... Ned Flanders’s cousin Ted!
“Hi diddly ho! Cousin Ted!” said Ned to his cousin.
“Hi diddly ho! Ned! How’s Rod and Todd doing?” said Ted.
“Spiffaroonie! And Connie and Bonnie?” Ned asked Ted.
“Splendaroonie!” said Ted. “Sorry about poor Maude!”
“Aww that’s okay! She’s with God now.” said Ned. Why don’t you come on over later.”
“Absolutely!” said Ted Flanders.
“Aaaaaaagh! This truly is Hell!” Homer screamed in agony.
The end!
Bloopers[]
In the squad car Wiggum explains he drew a gun.
“Wow, that Ralphie has become quite the artist!” said Lou.
“I drew that...” Wiggum said frowning.
“Oh...” said Lou.
Harold from Harold and the purple crayon drew a very realistic looking gun in purple lines for Wiggum.
“Wow! Thanks Harold!” said Wiggum.
...
When the Simpsons are explaining to Bart Walt Warren the new neighbour is not Sideshow Bob.
“I really don’t like being hunted down by my mortal enemy...” Bart sighed unhappy. Outside at the front of the house Homer runs past screaming and being chased by angry Icelandic people with torches and pitchforks.
...
In another scene in the kitchen Bart is discussing his fears over the new neighbour that he still thinks is Sideshow Bob while Lisa is floating around carried by the cookie smell.
“Stop that! In this house we obey the laws of physics! Not cartoon physics!” Marge pulled Lisa back down to Earth.
...
In Sideshow Bob’s car being held hostage.
“So uh Bob. If you’re out alone again in your revenge schemes where’s your wife and your son, Gino?” Oscar asked.
“Oh yeah...” said Bart.
“We’re... going through a rough patch...” said Sideshow Bob.
“Ha!” Bart laughed.
...
Still in Bob’s car.
Bob was muttering because wearing regular sized shoes as Walt was uncomfortable. He took them off and uncurled his feet.
“Eeeeeew! How do you do that?!” Bart asked.
“You ever wonder how the Wicked Witch of the East’s feet curl up?” Bob asked.
“Uh huh.” said Bart.
“They’re my feet.” said Bob.
...
At the cafe after the Simpsons go to Mexico.
“Helllooooo handsome...” the waitress said to Walt with Bob’s face.
However Francesca slapped her across the face.
“He is a married man!” Francesca yelled.
...
In Mexico Homer is annoying the taco vendor by asking what Taco is in Mexican.
“Ugh! Taco...” the Mexican vendor groaned.
“Andale, andale! Arriba, arriba!” Speedy Gonzales yelled while running.
The Simpsons sweat dropped.
...
The Simpsons were at home talking to Walter Warren who had Bob’s face.
As he spoke his face fell off.
”Eeeeeuuuugh!” The Simpsons minus Bart groaned in disgust.
”I find your lack of face disturbing.” said Darth Vader.
