Sweets and Sour Marge

Sweets and Sour Marge Marge on one of her righteous tirades bans sugar from the town so Homer smuggles it in while Marge is slowly hated by the town and taunted until she gives in.

Plot

The Simpsons go to Candy is Dandy, Mr Dandy's candy store to treat the kids.

“Since you were so well behaved when getting your booster shots!” said Marge pleased with her children.

Bart, Lisa and Oscar groaned while rubbing their left arms. Because Bart wears a t shirt and Lisa wears a sleeveless dress you can see a bandage where they had been given their booster shots. (A vaccine booster)

“Mmmmm all sorted candy...” Homer moaned with joy as he picked out some pick and mic. Five bags of it. For himself of course.

“In England we call it pick and mix.” said Oscar. “Now where’s the foam bananas and shrimps.”

“Oscar, no one cares what you Limeys call it...” said Homer.

“Eep! Shrimp!” Bart gulped.

“Ah here they are!” said Oscar finding the foam shrimp sweets. He smirked evilly.

“Oz don’t make light of my allergy!” Bart groaned.

“I’m just wondering if your shrimp allergy includes shrimp foam sweets...” said Oscar.

“I’m not prepared to risk testing that...” said Bart.

“Oh! Flying saucers!” said Lisa using the troughs to collect some flying saucers sweets. Sherbet inside rice paper saucers.

“White chocolate jazzies!” said Bart using the scoops to pour some into his bag.

“Unknown wrapped candies! Mmmmm! Mysterious flavours...” Oscar used a scoop to pour in some individual chocolate box candles in colourful wrappers into his bag,

“Homer don’t touch the candy with your hands! Use the scoops!” Marge scolded Homer for picking up the candy with his bare hands.

“Eeeew!” said a man buying candy.

The Simpsons paid for their candy. Homer realised he shouldn’t have been so greedy as the combined price of his five bags of candy were expensive.

“Ooooh! Cursed by my own gluttony!” He whined.

However when Bart eats some of his candy it hurts him.

"Ow! My tooth!" Bart cries.

Marge concerned checks inside his mouth. In the corner is a rotten tooth with holes in it.

"That tooth is gonna have to come out or your gonna be in a lot of pain sweetie." said Narge.

"Please don't mention sweets, it's hurting my tooth!" Bart groaned.

At the dentist Bart is wearing a sling under his chin like cartoon characters do when they have the mumps or a tooth ache.

"You'll have to excuse my voice Mrs Simpson. I had a bought of laryngitis and now I sound like Anthony Hopkins apparently." said their dentist who was also their vet. He had a creepy Hannibal Lecter voice now.

Bart didn't find his new no nonsense personer and Hannibal Lecter voice welcoming. Plus the dentist's room was dimly lit.

"Relax Bart, the extraction will be mostly painless." Bart didn't like that mostly. The dentist then showed of his gruesome tools. "This is the scraper, this is the poker and this little fellow (holding a tool with claws and a buzz saw) is the gouger!" declared Dr Wolfe.

He turned on the menacing tool to show Bart how it worked. Bart yelped.

After some time later Bart came out the surgery room a little sore but relieved his tooth was removed. However Dr Wolfe explained to Marge that Bart's rotten tooth was caused by a diet of excess sugar. He would need to cut down on the sugar or face losing more teeth.

“Speaking of which, I felt Ike such bad mother when Hugo lost some of his teeth to scurvy...” said Marge.

In a flashback Hugo is visiting the dentist. His mouth is wide open as Dr Wolfe examines him. He has lost some front teeth so he has two big square teeth like Dale’s from Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers.

“Mrs Simpson can you please explain why your son is suffering from acute scurvy?!” Dr Wolfe told off Marge.

Homer grabbed Hugo and stormed off. “That’s the last time we take you to a dentist!”

...

At Home Marge goes through their food and is horrified to see the amount of Sugar in it especially in Bart's Krusty cereal and products under he brand Old Mother Hubbard's old fashioned family recipe. Such as food for Sunday dinners.

“They are also diabolically evil!” said Lisa.

We cut to evil directors at Mother Hubbard CO. laughing evilly while playing clay pigeon shooting but with babies.

“Pull!” said a director.

A baby was catapulted into the air and the director shot him or her. The director laughed evilly.

"Hmmmmph! We're going to buy our food organic from now on!" Marge insisted.

"Um Mom that only sorts out food at home. What about cafeteria food and when Homer and Bart go down to the shops." said Lisa.

“And those organic food stores are extremely expensive!” said Homer.

"I'll just have to monitor what they buy from Apu's." said Marge. “Now we can start tonight by throwing out all this unhealthy stuff!”

“Ms Butterworth pancake syrup?” Lisa asked holding a bottle of Ms Butterworth pancake syrup shaped like Ms Butterworth.

“Bin it,” said Marge.

“Awwwww...” Homer whined.

“I guess that means no more fudge filled toaster pies for me...” Lisa sighed throwing away fudge filled toaster pies.

“Uh...” Bart was confused.

“I have my vices! Okay?!” Lisa ranted.

“Gummy bears.” Marge dumped a bag of gummy bears.

“No!” Oscar screamed.

“Oz please...” Marge sighed. “Gummy worms... gummy cola... Hariboh...” Oscar is sobbing as she threw away his candy. “Buzz sweets.”

“No! Not my clown Bart candy!” said Oscar.

“Ay carumba!” said Bart seeing a cartoon clown Bart head character on the packet of gummy candy.

“Oz please. We’re all in this process together...” Marge sighed.

“Yeah it’s not fair if you get to stuff yourself with candy Oscar...” said Lisa.

“I need sugar for medical reasons! I have diabetes! The one where you can’t make insulin!” said Oscar.

...

After one day at School Lisa brought home samples of a week's menu of cafeteria food that was very bland except the jello that for some reason on days when Bart had some he couldn't sleep that night due to being over stimulated by something.

Marge was horrified to find out that was because the jello contained alarmingly high levels of sugar. Even the bland foods weren't very healthy.

Marge went to the school demanding they made food even more healthy and wholesome.

"And vegetarian!" Lisa added.

However Skinner explained it wasn't possible as in order to keep bulk food for the whole school fresh it needed to be preserved with lots of preservatives.

Marge then examined every candy at Apu's and was shocked by the sugar levels.

"That's it!" Marge yelled.

Marge, Maude, Helen, that old lady with the hair bob and several others in the righteous brigade demanded that Mayor Quimby ban sugar. There was an election coming up so he reluctantly agreed to it.

The police gathered up all the sugary foods and burnt them on a big fire. However when the poured some Butterfinger bars onto the fire they were all strangely magnetised towards Bart and pulled towards him.

“Ha! Nobody lays a finger on my butterfingers!” Bart smirked as he collected them.

...

However the sugar ban was massively unpopular. Bart got beaten up at school by Nelson because of his mom banning sugar.

"That's for your stupid mom banning sugar!" said Nelson as he punched Bart.

Oscar wasn't able to save Bart from an ass kicking because without sugar he contracted diabetes. He had an underlying problem with creating insulin which wasn't originally a problem because of the enormous amount of sugar he ate. He was in hospital on insulin.

“You are fat.” said Stewie in a hospital bed dying from anorexia.

Homer then started having dreams about lollipops and ice creams on a tropical island singing and dancing to Sugar sugar! Do doo doo doo! Ah Honey Honey!

He sung this in his sleep.

"Homer! Stop Sugar Posting!" Marge sighed.

"Never!" said Homer as the dancing lollipops and ice creams took over scenes from other episodes!

Homer's car was being driven erratically because Bart was driving while Homer ate pizza.

"Dad! Hurry and up and finish that!" Bart whined.

"You're doing great! Much better than Lisa... oh! Left! Ah get out of the road Dad!" said Homer as Bart steered erratically.

They nearly ran Grampa over.

"Sugar!" Homer gasped and stopped the car. There was a crashed truck that was spilling sugar everywhere.

Homer decides one day with Bart's help to smuggle sugar into town when they find a crashed sugar truck. Hans Moleman was driving but despite his cries for help they ignore him and steal some sugar.

“Uh Dad, isn’t this stealing?” Bart asked.

“Read the town charter boy. If foodstuffs should fall on the floor then foodstuffs should be handed over to the village idiot. And I don’t see him around here, so let’s go.” said Homer gathering up sugar.

A village idiot in a dunces cap appeared singing nonsense and dancing about.

“Go away Larry...” said Homer.

Larry sighed and left.

Homer tries selling some to Skinner. Skinner is delighted to buy some but Agnes, his mother yells for him. The conversation is implied that she's a friend of Marge's bible gang and doesn't approve of Seymour buying the forbidden sugar. The conversation gets heated.

Skinner appears at the door again. "Thanks Simpsons. I'm now grounded..."

Homer decides to keep his sugar pile in the backyard and guards it with his life.

"Homer! How dare you undermine me! Get rid of that sugar!" Marge yells.

"No! I'm gonna sit here all night if I have to guarding it!" Homer yells.

"Fine! See if I care!" said Marge.

Later at dinner, Homer made dinner. A grey gunk.

“This tastes very sweet and sickly Homer.” said Marge.

“Mine has bits of glass in it!” said Lisa picking out bits of glass.

“They’re prizes sweetie!” said Homer. “Oh! A blasting cap!”

“It hurts my teeth!” Bart whined with a tooth ache.

“That’s because I loaded it with sugar!” said Homer holding a pic and mix trough of sugar.

The family ran away from the table in disgust.

“Hey! That dish only contained half the lethal dose of sugar!” said Homer offended they didn’t like his cooking.

“Uh oh... shouldn’t have had seconds...” Grampa gulped.

Plot 2

Homer was sleeping the next morning outside his sugar pile while quoting Scarface.

"First you get the sugar, then you get the women..." he quotes Tony Montana.

"Homer I really think this Sugar business is getting out of hand! Come inside." said Marge.

"I can't. The moment I take eyes off this sugar someone will- Hey! Where did you get that sugar?!" Homer pulled out a British gentleman from his sugar pile who was drinking tea.

"Hello." said the man.

"Where did you get that sugar?!" Homer asked him again.

"I stole some the split second you looked away. And I'd do it again." The British gentleman sipped his tea. "Goodbye." He walked off.

"Um okay..." Homer wasn't sure what just happened.

Marge then tries to explain he's obsessed with sugar. "When are you gonna get rid of this sugar craziness?"

Homer then goes on about nonsense about being a powerful sugar baron or something. "Never! I can't go back to the humdrum life like you! I wanna sample the dizzying heights! The woeful lows! The creamy middles! Mmmmm! Creamy middles! Sure I may have offended a few blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odour. Oh and I'll never be the darling of upperclassmen who cluck their tongues and stroke their beards while wondering what to do with this Homer Simpson!"

(Best rant ever!)

"Look! Just get rid of the sugar!" Marge insisted.

"Never!" yelled Homer.

Marge sighed and went inside.

...

At breakfast.

"Mom, is Dad still outside guarding that sugar..." Bart asked.

"Unfortunately..." Marge sighed.

"Can we have some. These bran flakes are bland..." Bart sighed.

"No!" Marge told him off.

"Come to daddy's sugar pile, only 25 cents..." Homer called to them from the backyard.

Marge grumbled and shut the kitchen curtains on him.

“Well I’m finished.” said Oscar when the doorbell rang. “It’s for me I’ll get it!” He ran to answer the door.

Homer came in.

“Well Marge, while you were nagging about me not amounting to anything guarding my sugar pile I found a dollar waiting for the bus today!” said Homer carrying a green dollar note.

“Homer, while you were out earning that dollar you could have been earning forty dollars at work! The plant just called. They say if you don’t turn up tomorrow, don’t bother turning up Monday!” said Marge.

“Woohoo! Four day weekend!” said Homer.

“No Dad. That means if you don’t turn up tomorrow you’re fired...” said Lisa.

...

Oscar had invited Ralph round. Bart groaned and rolled his eyes.

Ralph was watching Johnny Johnny Yes Papa. A stupid YouTube animation for children of lazy patents too lazy to occupy their spoilt brats that they’ll give them any electronic device just to shut them up.

The episode Ralph was watching was about Johnny taking some sugar and being reprimanded by his dad. Why he would just straight up eat pure sugar I don’t know...

Oscar rolled his eyes and had tissues in his ears to blot out the lame cartoon.

“Johnny Johnny Yes Papa?! That is the stupidest name ever..” Oscar groaned.

“Shhhh!” Ralph annoyed hushed him..

...

Then suddenly some bees landed on Homer's sugar pile.

"Ah! My sugar! Bad bees!" Homer tried to shoo them but they stung him. "Ow! They're defending themselves somehow! Oooooowwww!"

Meanwhile a beekeeper that spoke like Batman was wondering where his bees went.

"Hmmm rather quiet today." said his assistant.

"Yes, a little too quiet." said Batman. Or the Beeman!

"What do you mean?" said his assistant.

"Bees usually make noise. No noise means no bees!" He put unnecessary emphasis on "No noise!"

Then a bee flew past.

"Look, there's one now." said the assistant.

"To the bee Mobile!" yelled the beekeeper.

"Your Chevy?" his assistant asked.

The beekeeper sighed. "Yes..."

After a bee themed Batman cutaway we arrive at the Simpsons!

...

"Clever plan luring our bees here Mr Simpson so we'll have to pay to collect them." said the beekeeper.

"What now?" Homer asked.

"Simpson you diabolical!" said Beeman! Nananana Beeman! Beeman! Beeman!

"Okay get that outta your system now Oscar..." Bart sighed.

Suddenly thunder rumbled and it began raining.

"Why it's beginning to rain. And the bees are leaving!" said the assistant. They drove off in the bee mobile as their services were no longer needed.

Homer saw that the rain was melting his sugar, (actually dissolving it.)

"My sugar! It's melting! Meltiiiiiiing! Oh what a world! Who thought a good little rain would destroy my beautiful wickedness! Oh! I'm going! Oh...." Homer quoted the Wicked Witch of the west. XD

The British man spat out his tea at this extraordinary scene as Homer cried for his sugar.

"Homer... it's raining come inside..." Marge sighed.

...

In doors Oscar and Bart were playing Duck, Duck, Goose with Ralph. But Ralph just said duck constantly. Annoying Bart who was bored.

“Say goose you stupid freak!” Bart shouted at him.

Ralph cried.

“Bartholomew! How many times do I have to say?! I don’t want to hear you using that kind of language!” Marge shouted.

“Sorry...” Bart gulped knowing he was in big trouble.

...

Things weren't going very well for Marge either. An Itchy and Scratchy episode was on. They were hitting each other with baseball bats when a Marge squirrel appeared.

"Don't do that! Hey! Don't do that!" said the angry Marge squirrel.

Itchy and Scratchy exchanged looks before Itchy whacked off Marge squirrel's head into the sun.

"Hahaha! Take that you annoying little squirrel!" said Homer laughing at the cartoon.

"Homer!" Marge yelled.

Eventually it got worse as a fat woman posing as Marge in a fake wig started bad mouthing her own sugar campaign.

“Hi, I’m Marge Simpson and evening I’m against the sugar ban! Now I’m going to burn heroine on this knife.”

“That ad makes me look like a criminal!” Marge yelled.

"Marge! Why would you say such things on TV?!" Homer gasped.

"Homer! That's clearly an imposter!" Marge explained.

“Or maybe... you’re the imposter! How many children do we have?” said Homer.

“Three!” Marge yelled.

“Wrong Lady! Oh right. Forgot Maggie.” said Homer before realising he forgot Maggie.

...

In the backyard Bart was talking about soaking Lisa’s friend Allison with a hose.

“What would that achieve Bart?!” Lisa sighed.

“That she’d be soaked and dripping and crying and we’d be relatively dry.” said Bart.

“Relatively?!” Lisa asked.

“Well there will be some splash back...” said Bart.

That doesn’t stop her from winning the competition though!” Lisa was exasperated with Bart’s ideas of humiliating Alison.

“Fine... we’ll sabotage her diorama...” said Bart.

“Perfect!” said Lisa.

“And then we will soak her with a hose!” said Bart.

“Bart enough with the hose already!” Lisa yelled.

Homer screamed at something or someone. “Ahhhhhhhh! Hugo! Get back in your cell! Or I’ll get the hose!”

Bart and Lisa exchanged confused looks.

...

Eventually things got too much as Homer was undermining her by employing a Brazilian drug smuggler to smuggle sugar into town. He did this mostly because the last straw aside from the sugar ban was that Marge was making steamed limes for pudding.

“I’m steaming some limes!” said Marge. Homer shivered in disgust.

“Mmmmm! Steamed limes.” said Principal Skinner.

"Alright! I'll ask the mayor to unban sugar!" Marge groaned as Homer's sugar boat crashed and spilt sugar into the sea. Lenny jumped into the sugary water and tried drinking it.

“I found pearls! Oh wait they’re my teeth that have fallen out. Oh well I still have a wonderful smile!” said Lenny grinning an almost toothless grin having only a few teeth remaining.

“Eeeeeew! said everyone.

“There’s a reason why babies still growing their teeth are not cute when the smile. Except Clownja of course. His two Dale style teeth are adorable!” said Oscar holding Clownja.

Sea captain was drinking the sugar water.

“Ah! A fine salty and sugary brine.” said Sea Captain.

Edgar the giant alien cockroach from Men in Black was greedily slurping up the sugar water. “Sugar in water good!”

“Uh Edgar, half your skin is hanging off your face...” said the wife of his skin suit he was wearing, who was also once an Edgar before he ate them and wore their skin.

Edgar pulled his skin back. “There, better?” he asked.

The wife of the man he killed to wear them as a skin suit fainted.

“Mom can we swim in the sugar water?” Bart and Lisa asked Marge.

“Fine... but take Maggie...” said Marge.

Lisa took Maggie and they dived in.

Marge was mortified they were drinking sugar water.

Plot 3

The news was on. “And Marge’s tyrannical sugar ban was overturned today with celebrations from a spokesman for Mother Hubbard inc. and Satan himself shaking hands.” said Kent Brockman.

“I have a bone to pick with Old Mother Hubbard.” said Brian the talking dog from Family Guy.

Oscar laughed hysterically. “He’s referencing that nursery rhyme!”

“Hmmmmm! Why am I always the bad guy just because I want us all to eat healthy?” Marge sighed.

“Probably because you want to be the whole town’s mom as well. Stick to looking out just for the Simpsons in future...” said Oscar.

Meanwhile Wiggum was trying to burn candy only for weed things to happen.

“Throw on those Butterfingers Lou.” said Wiggum. Lou poured from a sack hundreds of Butterfinger bars onto the fire. But a strange force magnetised them to Bart Simpson again.

“Bart stop that!” Wiggum told him off.

“Nobody lays a finger on my butterfinger!” said Bart.

“Chief what about this chocolate Johnny Depp?” Eddie asked.

“We melted for him, now he has st melt for us.” said Wiggum.

The chocolate Johnny Depp melted as his face me,Ted into a ghoulish scream while the music from Indiana Jones and the raiders of the lost ark’s Wrath of the ark theme played.

Meanwhile in his make up room Johnny Depp started melting. “Oh no! It’s happening!” He cried as he melted.

Meanwhile at the Simpsons Oscar was eating a candy bar. “Well it feels great to be back home and not on an insulin drip Marge...”

“Okay I didn’t know you had type I diabetes. Why on Earth is there a strain of it where you have to eat sugar?!” Marge asked in disbelief.

“My pancreas doesn’t produce insulin.” said Oscar.

“Hibbert says I’m type II. Apparently fatness is synonymous with diabetes and other health problems.” said Homer.