Super Franchise Me Marge opens a sandwich restaurant while working for Mother Hubbard Sandwich company. Jared Fogle cameos.
The title gag is Mr Burns as Fruit Batman flying.
The couch gag is a title sequence with the tune Tea for the Tillerman by Cat Stevens playing.
♪ Tea for the tillerman ♪
Homer is having formal or high tea in the lounge.
♪ Steak for the son ♪
Bart is eating steak for dinner in the dining room.
♪ Wine for the woman who made the rain come ♪
Marge and her sisters have a picnic and drink wine in the rain!
♪ Seagulls sing your hearts away ♪
“Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!” squawked the seagulls from Finding Nemo.
♪ 'Cause while the sinners sin ♪
Mr Burns pours radioactive waste into a lake. Boooooo!
♪ The children play ♪
Bart, Lisa and Ralph play on the swings. Ralph is frozen in time in mid air!
”Um Lis, what should we do?! He’s stuck!” Bart is concerned.
”Call a doctor. No wait call a scientist!” Lisa gasped.
Ralph smiled while frozen in time in mid air.
♪ Oh, Lord, how they play and play ♪
♪ For that happy day ♪
♪ For that happy day ♪
♪ Happy day. ♪
I’m sure I heard that high spirited Happy, happy daaaaaay tune from somewhere...
We cut to Homer finishing his tea and getting up. He knocks over the tea set and breaks it. “D’oh!”
Ned’s house. Ned is painting mini Jesus statues delicately while music plays. One is Jesus playing soccer with children.
Jesus in an ice hockey game against Satan.
Jesus in a basketball game against Judas.
And Jesus at the Olympics wearing skis and firing a rifle.
“You're never bored paintin' the Lord.” said Ned.
His sons come in.
”Daddy, could you help us with our school project?“ Todd asked.
“We're huntin' vampire appliances!” said Rod. The narrator took that as a cue to be silly!
Ace the vampire boy with blond hair and a helicopter beanie who is Oscar’s friend decided to hiss and protrude his fangs in a threatening manner at Rod.
”Say no more.” said Ned.
Ace hissed baring his fangs.
Ned sighed exasperated in the vampire boy.
Ned unplugged devices.
“Mm-hmm. Okay. (grunting) Diddily, diddily... (grunts)” Ned said as he pulled out plugs.
“Well, we pulled more plugs than a Dutch doctor.” said Ned.
”That’s not funny!” Ace snapped.
”Now let's take a trip to the side of the house.“ said Ned.
”Yay!” said Rod and Todd.
Ned noticed his meter for how much electricity was being used was still going up...(gasps) “Why, that's a higher power than even I believe in.”
“Blasphemy!” God yelled.
”What is going on?“ Ned wondered what’s room was using up so much electricity. “My room, kids' room, knick-knack nook, Beatles Bunker, Left-hand Lounge...” He turned off the electricity in all the rooms of the house. Then he found the culprit.
”What's this?” A cable was siphoning power from his home. It lead to Homer’s house.
(carnival music plays)
Homer had bought a Ferris wheel and the kids were riding it.
Ned angrily unplugged the Ferris wheel. It stopped.
The kids and Homer groaned.
“Hey, I was listening to that.” Homer whined.
“Daddy I wanna ride the wheel.” asked Hugo.
”Well you can’t because I hate you, Freak!” Homer snapped.
”Homer let him ride the Ferris wheel!” Oscar snapped.
Homer sighed and let Hugo sit in one of the Ferris Wheel carts.
”Homer Simpson.” Ned yelled. “Got any other sockets in my pockets?”
”Absolutely not.” said Homer.
Ned found several extension cords plugged in and leading somewhere.
”Really? Really? Really?!” He nagged Homer while holding the cords.
(groans) “My one weakness-- the third "really."” Homer groaned.
”You have many weaknesses Homer...” said Oscar.
“Come with me.” Homer led Ned somewhere. (Homer grumbles, sighs) “Turn right here.” They were in his garage. There was an ice box freezer.
”I keep this frozen meat in case society collapses but we still have power.“ said Homer.
“Homer! This is my freezerino.” Ned yelled.
”Seriously, I am getting so tired of those stupid Flandersisms.“ Homer dislikes his gibberish.
”It's the name of the freezer!“ Ned explained that was the brand name.
“Okily Dokahama?” Homer was baffled by the fictional location it was made in.
”Right next to Mount Fu-Gee, I'm glad to see ya!” Ned unplugged the freezer and threw out all the meat that was inside.
“Aw. It's all gonna thaw!“ Homer whined. “Don't you give up on me!“
Marge arrived. Because this is her episode.
”I'll cook this meat, cut it up and make it into sandwiches.“ said Marge. Mmmmmm... sandwiches...
”And I will wait and worry!“ said Homer.
Time passed like when someone waits because a loved one is having major surgery. Homer drinks steak sauce.
Marge cooks the meat and cuts it up.
She tastes some and shakes her head. Homer looks anxious.
He cried as Lovejoy read last rites for the meat as if it was someone who died.
Bart and Milhouse put yellow ribbons on a tree.
Homer eventually overdosed on steak sauce.
However Marge managed to cook most of the meat into edible sandwich meat, possibly pulled pork. Mmmmmmmm....
”Narrator you’re drooling again....” Bart sighed.
Everyone was sat in the living room in their pyjamas. The dog was fat and Marge had news.
“So, I cooked the meat, sliced it up, made sandwiches, cut off the crust, fed those to the dog...” said Marge.
“Aw, somebody wants more crust. Here you go, boy!” Homer fed the dog more crusts, his mouth was full. “Here you go. Have some more. Still hungry, buddy?”
No the dog is full...
”Dad, dogs don't know when to stop eating.“ Lisa stopped Dad from feeding the dog any more.
“Lucky.” said Homer.
Uncle James was disappointed his nieces and nephews didn’t eat crusts. “No crusts eh? Don’t you kids know if you eat your crusts, you’ll get curly hair!”
“We don’t want curly hair, Uncle James.” said Lisa.
”Well um... it’ll put hairs on your chests.” said James.
”We don’t want hairy chests...” said Bart.
Marge bought it’s a washing basket full of sandwiches wrapped up in paper.
“Whoa!” said everyone.
“Oh, Marge, once again you've taken one of my screwups and turned it into food.” said Homer delighted.
They hugged. D’aaaawwwwww!
“Man, if only you could do that with Bart.” He added.
Bart turned into a brown paper shopping bag of groceries.
”Mom! Dad's imagining me as food again!“ Bart yelled.
Oscar as a sushi hand roll or temaki, laughed hysterically.
“He does it to all of us.” The Simpsons were food! Marge an ice cream, Lisa a star shaped cake, Maggie a gingerbread baby and Gramps was a baked potato...
“Can someone put butter on me?” Grampa whined.
“Mmmmmm! Family-icious.“ Homer drooled. Homer seriously! Lay off the shrooms!
“Come on, where's that butter?” Grampa nagged.
Oscar laughed hysterically. “Hehehehe! Homer’s gone nuts! We’re food now! Lalalala!”
Bart groaned exasperated.
That night, the kids wanted lots of sandwiches for some reason.
Lisa yawned as she was being tucked in by Mom.
“Hey, Mom, can you pack me a dozen sandwiches in my lunch tomorrow? Meat, no meat, it's all good.” said Lisa.
”Lisa’s no longer vegetarian! What have you done with the real Lisa?!” He cried and sobbed while shaking her.
Marge rolled her eyes exasperated with Oscar’s madness.
”Sandwiches, Mom. Fill 'er up. And the garment bag.” Bart opened up a suitcase. He also had a garment bag.
”What's going on? Are you kids eating your feelings?“ Marge asked.
“No Marge. You can’t eat emotions. Believe me I’ve tried...” said Oscar.
”No, whenever anything bothers me, I harmlessly vent it to Maggie.” said Lisa.
Maggie was lying in her crib traumatised about something.
”I smash fluorescent lights at the gravel pit.” said Bart. He does destructive things.
“But that's so many sandwiches.” said Marge.
”Kids love them. We trade them at school.” said Bart.
”They replaced cigarettes as our currency.“ said Lisa.
”Bubble gum cigarettes?” Marge asked.
”Yeah, sure.“ Bart replied looking shifty.
The next day.
(doorbell rings) Ned was at the door. “What are you doing here, freezer stealer?” Homer said annoyed.
”Ned's letting us use his freezer to store the extra sandwiches.“ said Marge.
”Well, I felt a little guilty for taking back what belonged to me.” said Ned.
(whoops) “Flanders isn't perfect!” Homer cheered.
(chuckling): “Never claimed to be.” Ned chuckled.
”Yeah, and aren't.” said Homer frowning.
”Also I need help getting back on the dating scene. Things have got rather lonely after Edna passed.” said Ned.
Anyway it’s an episode about sandwiches. So Jared from Subway is in it.
Ace screamed frightened and fled when he saw him. Jared is a pedo....
The school. Marge arrives in her orange car and goes inside.
At lunch in the playground, kids were eating sandwiches. Marge’s sandwiches.
Ace was eating a pastrami with mustard and pickles rye bread sandwich. Bart winced because Homer slipped a broccoli sandwich into his suitcase of sandwiches. The sandwich was stuffed with broccoli florets that simply didn’t fit very well between the slices of bread.
“Marge, see this face? It's opportunity. Blink, and you'll miss it.” said a business woman. Marge blinked and she vanished. Well Marge you’ll be of no use against Weeping Angels...
“Huh?” Marge was confused as the lady was gone.
”Just kidding. I'm right behind you. I'm Trudy Zengler, vice president of development for Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboards. How would you like to run your own business? Take control of your financial future.” said Trudy.
Oscar eating sandwiches giggled. “Mother Hubbard...”
Marge had a flashback where she was doing calculations over the finances in bed.
”Hmm. Homie, how much money do we have put aside in case something happens to you?“ She asked Homer.
He pulled up a chair and sat down.
(groans) Marge groaned.
The flashback ended.
”If that flashback you just described is true, you can't afford not to open this franchise.” said Trudy.
”I'm in.” said Marge shaking her hand.
At home. The kitchen.
”Wow, Mom! You're gonna open a sandwich store?” said Lisa excited.
”Uh-huh.“ said Marge.
”Mom, if you're gonna do this, there's one thing I need to know. And be honest. What's your soda refill policy?“ Bart asked.
”All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.“ said Marge.
“Careful, Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.” said Homer. He has a flashback where he has bankrupted a Pizza Hut. The manager stands behind him forlorn as he drinks free refills from the soda machine. “Mmm... that's good. More, more. Refill... Free!”
“I-I just... I... Where is it going?“ The manager was baffled.
”Will your sandwich store get revenue from a fat paedophile claiming your sandwiches helped him lose weight?” Oscar asked.
The Simpsons all fell backwards from bafflement/exasperation like in an anime cartoon.
”What? What did I say?” Oscar whined.
At Marge’s sandwich store.
It was being built. Then we go inside.
“My store. My offset spatula. Mine!” Marge sighed happily as she looked about her sandwich store.
”Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!” said the Finding Nemo seagulls.
”Oh shut up! Rats with wings!” Homer shouted.
(door opens, bell rings) A sinister tune plays as Krusty arrived. He is wearing a trench coat.
”Well, well, well. Seems like someone forgot there's a Krusty Burger two blocks away.” He is annoyed by the competition. “Go ahead, Teeny. Show 'em what we did to Arby's.” Mr Teeny had a baseball bat.
”Blocked a toilet in there by taking a massive dump?” Oscar asked grimacing.
”No Krusty! No!” Bart whined.
Marge offered Mr Teeny injera. A flatbread. He ate them delighted. “Mmmmmmm!” Then he kissed her hand.
”She did the one thing I never could-- feed him.“ Krusty sighed.
”You never fed your chimp!? That’s cruel!” Oscar snapped.
”You're a cool customer, Marge. And we've got your back.” said Trudy. In the background Mr Teeny was eating the salad vegetables and sandwich fillings! “With everything from pre-sliced tomatoes, to the homey needlepoint on the walls.”
“Aw...” Marge liked the needlepoint work on the walls.
”And now, the best part of running your own franchise-- picking your Sammy Fammy.” I assume that’s the signature sauce.
”You'll want to avoid that.“ Mr Teeny was bathing in the sauce...
Oscar screamed with hysterical laughter.
Bart face palmed.
”Coooooool! Typhoid sauce!” Oscar cooed.
Marge was annoyed because Mr Teeny ate all the pre-sliced turkey meat. “Your monkey just ate all my turkey.“
”Chimp.” Hugo corrected her.
”You want some monkey meat to replace it?“ Krusty asked her.
”Cooooool!” Oscar cooed.
”No.” Marge said annoyed.
”It's low-fat.“ said Krusty.
”I say take the monkey meat! So we can give everyone Ebola!! Mwuhahahaha!” Oscar laughed maniacally.
Bart and Lisa shook their heads exasperated in him.
Marge was conducting interviews for employees.
Gil begged for a job because he is pathetic and unlucky.
“I got to be honest with you, Marge. I need this job bad.” said Gil.
“Hmm... You seem to have had, and lost, a lot of jobs.” said Marge reading his resume.
”It's a whole new world, Marge. A whole new world.“ said Gil. Oscar grinned a silly grin. No Oz! No!
Oscar cleared his throat. “Ahem. A whole new wooooooooorld! A new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us, "No". Or where to go. Or say we're only dre-eccck!” He sang until Bart and Lisa dragged him out of the office with scowls on their faces annoyed with his stupidity.
Marge sighed with relief.
Gil told a story about how his father worked his way up in a company from the mail sorting office or factory floor to committing suicide by jumping out the office window during a board meeting.
Marge was horrified.
Somehow he gets the job though...
Next Shauna Chalmers was being interviewed.
She smoked in the interview office and blew smoke in Marge’s face.
“I'm not sure... this is going to work out.” Marge didn’t think she was right for the job.
“Oh, I get it. You won't hire me because I'm pretty. That could be a lawsuit.” said Shauna.
”No lawsuit! You're hired!“ Marge relented.
”Marge!” Oscar groaned. “Look toots, that’s not why... it’s because you’re smoking during your interview! This store has a no smoking policy!”
”Fine...” Shauna put out her cigarette by stubbing it out on the desk.
”Okay, so I don't want to do anything that'll ruin my manicure.” said Shauna.
“Well, then why do you want this job?” Marge said annoyed.
”So I can get manicures. Duh!“ said Shauna.
Somehow she was employed too.
Next Marge interviewed Professor Frink.
“Professor, could you say, "Welcome to Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard" without making any other noises?“ Marge asked.
”Of course I can, my dear child.“ said Frink. “Welcome to... Mother Hubbard's... uh... Sandwich mcboing boing glavin flyvy hyvy goyvyn, and now I'm running to the unemployment office. Blervyk.” Frink got up to leave in defeat.
”Marge you should totally hire him. It would be hilarious! He could put Flubber in the sandwiches!” Oscar said being demented.
”I don’t want Flubber in the sandwiches!” said Marge.
”Fine...” Oscar sighed bored. “You’re no fun...”
In bed Marge can’t sleep because she is worried about the company finances etc. She has just hired three new employees. Who have to be paid wages...
”Ooooooh! I’m too nervous to sleep! Oooooh these finances!”
Homer was snoring.
Marge sighed. “Hrrrrrrrrmmmmm...”
Marge sighed aggressively. “Oooooooooh!”
”Huh? Uh? What?” Homer woke up.
”Sorry Homer but I can’t sleep. I’m worried about the store! What if it fails? What if I fail?” said Marge.
”What if my beard was made of green spinach? Marge stop worrying about what ifs and worry about what will...” said Homer.
”Marge...” said Homer.
”Yes dear?” Marge replied.
”Why are we just eyeballs floating in the dark?” Homer asked.
It’s easier for the cartoonists to show the room is dark by making it pitch black with eyes for the characters in the room.
Oscar had an A3 piece of paper pinned to his notice board and was brainstorming sandwiches for the Mother Hubbard sandwich store the Simpsons now owned. He wrote down Pastrami on rye with mustard and pickles.
Teddy tackled him to the ground. He grinned smooshing his big wet shiny black nose into Oscar’s face.
Teddy sniffed him. Then began sniffing his diaper.
Oscar cringed and sweated.
Teddy continued sniffing his diaper.
Eric came in feeling sleepy.
He saw Teddy sniffing Oscar’s diaper.
”Holy guacamole!” He gasped but the brown haired baby boy hand gagged him.
”Shhhh! And uh thanks for the idea.” said Oscar quickly writing down guacamole and bruschetta tomatoes on French bread, on the notice board of sandwich ideas.
”Why the dill pickles was your teddy bear creature sniffing you like that?!” Eric whispered sharply.
Oscar didn’t answer him.
”Oz...” Eric frowned.
Outside Marge’s sandwich store. Gil is dressed as a hoagie sandwich.
“Say there, buddy, are you interested in our Two-For-One Tuesday?” asked Gil.
“I never would have been, till I got this flyer!” said Carl.
“Interested in some exotic dancers, huh? Today's "Tell You Their Real Name" Tuesday.” Gil was also advertising a nightclub with erotic dancers.
“Are you working two jobs here, Gil?” Carl asked him.
“No, and I resent the accusation.“ said Gil. “Tell me, it's pointing west, right?” On the back of his costume it said “Luxury Condos” with a red arrow pointing somewhere.
Shauna is at the till when Homer comes in.
”Hola. No change for the meter.“ asked Shauna.
“No, no, I'd like to see the manager.” said Homer winking.
“Mrs. Boss! Some fat blob wants to see you.“ said Shauna loudly.
Homer angrily grunted and huffed.
”Homie!” Marge kissed him.
”Hi Sweetie!” Homer frowned.
“What’s wrong dear?” Marge asked.
”Marge I don’t take kindly to your employees calling me a fat blob!” Homer said annoyed.
Marge gave Shauna a hard look.
”Okay I won’t refer to the fat blob as a fat blob...” Shauna sighed.
Homer growled annoyed.
However he was in a good mood about something.
”Homey let’s close up and celebrate your first day!”
Marge was worried about money. “Homer did you know we had no customers between two and three today?”
”That’s odd! Girl’s reeling them in!” said Oscar. “However he does appear to be doing two jobs...”
”Gloyvin moyvin! I’m filling up the vegetables! Ng-hey!” said Professor Frink. Replenishing the sliced vegetables.
”Professor I said no random gibberish on the shop floor. Or robots or mad inventions...” said Marge.
Still the inside of the store with Homer, Marge, Shauna, Oscar and Frink.
”Homer it’s nice to see you today. But can you actually help me run this place?” Marge asked.
”Don’t worry sweetie. Tony Roma’s wasn’t built in a day.” said Homer.
”Oh great someone else to add on my Kangar hopping delivery app. Homer I’m trying to save money by not ordering fast food...” Oscar sighed.
”Don’t worry Marge. I’ve already talked about your place to my friends. You do have drone delivery right? I sorta promised that...” said Homer.
”No!” Marge whined.
”Oooooooh! Well I’ll come up with something.” Homer groaned.
He tied balloons to the sandwiches and they floated away to the customers. However as one reached Lenny at a skyscraper window, a condor snatched his sandwich.
”Damn it!” Homer yelled.
Oscar pulled out a sniper rifle.
”I’ll handle this Oz. Xerxes! Take down that bird!” Bart released his falcon. It shrieked and intercepted the condor and killed it. The sandwich fell and landed somewhere.
”Hugo fetch that sandwich and take it to Lenny.” said Homer to Hugo.
Hugo went off to get the sandwich.
Inside the office.
Marge and the kids are going over the finances.
Marge is depressed.
”What’s wrong?” The kids asked.
Marge explained Mother Hubbards expected them to put money towards topping up their inventory on uniforms, aprons, hats etc. This was eating into the funds.
“Mother Hubbard Central expects you to buy a lot of stuff from them. Uniforms, fixin's. It's like they don't care if you make money as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?”
Old Gil cane in. (stammers) “I'm not trying to be political, but I'm the only one you can trust here.”
Shauna stole from the till! (gasps) “Shauna! I saw that! I'm going to have to let you go.” Marge fired her.
“Oh, so you're, like, firing me like in that movie where that girl gets fired?” said Shauna.
“I'm sorry.“ said Marge cross with her.
”If I'm fired, then he's quitting!” said Shauna trying to get Gil to quit.
”I am?!“ Gil asked.
”I thought we were uh... sweet,..” said Shauna.
”No! Shauna I am more than twice your age! And I got sent to jail and put on a sex offenders register! Then I dropped the soap in the prison showers and an inmate raped me!” said Gil.
”Gil, TMI! Too much info! Shauna get out! You’re fired!” Bart replied and yelled at Shauna.
”Fine! You’ll regret this when I tell Jimbo!” said Shauna.
The Simpsons sighed.
“What am I going to do? I'm down an employee and it's the afternoon rush.” Marge sighed.
(bell dings) Jared Fogle from the Subway adverts entered the store. His theme song from South Park played.
He's still lookin' good!
His name is Jared
His name is Jared and he likes to eat the sandwiches.
The kids screamed frightened.
Marge face palmed.
“I need a six-foot party sub. Lots of mayonnaise. And I mean lots. Never stop squirting mayo.” said Jared.
The kids screamed.
Marge sighed. Well a paying customer is a paying customer. She made his sandwich.
Jared’s fiancé Christine-Jonez came in. Actually she’s Katie McLaughlin according to Wikipedia, Matt and Trey...
”Oh I’m sorry Christine but I no longer love you. I love little boys instead.” said Jared making eyes at Bart.
Bart screamed in terror.
Elsewhere this episode was dedicated to Manjula’s voice actress because she died. So of course without a voice Manjula was swiftly killed off.
”At last...” said Oscar. Apu could be a free man until he found the girl he wanted and not some medieval arranged marriage.
”Actually we just got Treas McNeill to do her voice now.”
”But she can only do old hags and cute children!” Oscar gasped.
”Marge a word in the office.” said Gil.
Marge went in the back with Gil.
”You’re not quitting are you?” Marge asked.
”No. it’s well my legs.” He took off his sandwich costume and was in his underwear. He had cartoon Big Bird legs.
”Are you working another job on the side on top of the other three?!” Marge asked.
”No. These are my real legs! I’m a very sick man Marge.” said Gil. They were his legs!
”Coooooool! He’s a mutant freak!” Hugo cooed.
Marge grumbled. Okay so now Gil is part chicken or something...
”This place is sucking worse than our old bed and breakfast business...” Bart sighed as he went through the finances.
The evening shift.
Homer and Marge are working. The kids came in having somehow navigated across town at night without a parent...
“This is so sad. In his homeland, Dad was a nuclear engineer.” said Lisa. Omg! He is Mexican!!
”Oh, I was short-staffed and your father volunteered. Actually, I was wondering if you two might want to lend a hand.“ said Marge.
“No, no. You want to make American kids work?” said Lisa refusing.
”Marge. Child labour is illegal now...” said Oscar frowning.
”You're supposed to be driving me to a tennis class I said I wanted, then I changed my mind and I hate it so much I'm faking stomachaches to get out of it.“ said Bart.
“Like that tennis episode Tennis the Menace where I kept referencing Dennis the Menace...” Oscar giggled.
“Would it kill one of you to wash a bell pepper?” Marge nagged.
”Um yes, yes it would Marge.” said Oscar.
”You have an answer for everything, don’t you Oz...” Bart sighed.
Lisa brushes a bell pepper. “Um, I'm not sure this is the best use of my skills.”
“I said wash!” Marge snapped.
”Marge!” Oscar barked with glowing red eyes as his dark side took over.
“And, Bart, go work the deep fryer.” said Marge.
“Well, if I'll be doing this when I'm 40, might as well start now.” Bart cooked the fries. (humming a tune) (gasps) “I'm home.”
”Guys, this is gonna be hard for a while. But we'll get through this as a family.” said Marge.
”A family...” said Gil.
”Gil you’re not a Simpson... now stop hugging us...” said Marge.
Gil sighed and returned to his post.
Fred “My leg!” from Spongebob arrived.
The Simpsons were relieved to get a customer.
”Hey a restaurant open in the evening. Finally.” said Fred.
”Well it’s in our contract to be open throughout the evening too. Unlike when Mr Krabs tries to illegally make his workers work twenty four our shifts...” said Oscar.
The Krusty Krab.
“You boys are suing me?!” Mr Krabs cried.
”Yep. Unfair employee treatment. Forcing employees to work overtime just because you wanted to serve a silly customer coming to the restaurant at night...” said Spongebob,.
”Suddenly adding menu items not suited to a burger joint, ie pizza just to take a happy customers money...” said Squidward.
”My money making antics! I’m ruined!” Mr Krabs cried.
A morning shift.
Maggie took tips from the customers. Even the rude “Just stamp the ticket” guy.
”Good baby.” said Marge.
”Yeah that’s a real good baby....” said the rude sarcastic guy sarcastically.
Oscar made a raspberry sound at him with his tongue.
Chief Wiggum came in.
”Chief what can we get you?” Homer asked him.
”A six foot long with lots of mayonnaise.” said Wiggum. He frowned. “And get your children out from the working area... child labour is illegal...”
“But we just had to fire our till worker for stealing!” said Marge.
”And our two remaining staff aren’t up to scratch...” said Homer. Gil was part chicken and Frink was performing mad science experiments instead of making sandwiches.
Wiggum gave them a hard look that said that was no excuse.
The Simpsons sighed as he paid for his very long sandwich that Eddie and Lou helped carry out. Wiggum of course put a tip in the tip jar and went on his way.
While the store had no customers Marge gathered everyone round.
“Listen, pep talk. Big day today. Like everyday we run this place. If we can make ends meet. So we’ve got to give it our all!” said Marge. “So places people!” Bart returned to the fryer. Lisa washed the vegetables, Hugo cut up the vegetables and made sandwiches. Maggie managed the tip jar and till.
Ace came in.
”Hey Ace. What are you having?” Oscar asked.
”Pastrami on the rye, double mustard, no pickles. Sauerkraut instead.” said Ace wearing an umbrella hat to block out the deadly sunlight.
”Um Oz you have to tell us what he wanted...” Bart sighed.
”Oh pastrami on rye, double mustard, no pickles, use sauerkraut instead.” said Oscar.
Hugo prepared the sandwich. Slicing up the pastrami and spreading mustard on the sandwich fillings etc.
Ace waited patiently.
Milhouse ran in.
”Hi Milhouse. What can we-“ Bart asked.
”You guys might want to look outside the front for a moment...” said Milhouse.
The Simpsons except Hugo downed their tools and went out the front.
To their dismay another Mother Hubbard sandwich store opened. There was a tanker pumping mayonnaise into it. Suddenly DragonQuestWes detached the mayonnaise dispensing hose from the store and squirted mayonnaise all over Sherri and Terry’s feet while chuckling pervertedly. He resembled a red king slime from Dragon Quest wearing a Cossack hat.
“They're opening another Mother Hubbard? Across the street?! How could they? How could they?!” Marge lamented.
Wiggum was talking with Lou about his sandwich.
”Chief who are you fooling with this one sandwich a day diet...” said Lou.
”It’s whole wheat bread. It’s healthy!” said Wiggum.
“How could they open another franchise so close to me?” said Marge.
”Don't worry, Marge. They can't beat us. Because we're family-run. Aah! Hillbillies!” Homer said but screamed because Cleatus was working at the new Mother Hubbards.
”Okay, in you go, Minimum Wade, Addem-up, Oxycontin, Fontanelle and Pediculus. You make way for those that's nocturnal coming off the night shift.” said Cleatus.
”I’m nocturnal.” said Ace the vampire kid. “But I already bought a sandwich from the Simpsons. During the time the Simpsons were gawking at the new store Hugo had made his sandwich and Ace paid for it and tipped Hugo.
So the chapter ended on a dire situation for the Simpsons and the town let hillbillies who don’t wash work in cafeteria and food preparation. Yeeeeuck!
The Simpsons sighed as they went back inside and waited for customers that they probably would get less of because of the new Mother Hubbard store.
After work. The Simpsons were locking up the store.
“You won't believe it, but we actually turned a profit today.“ said Marge. Well that’s a hope spot... “Kids, we're taking some shredded lettuce, pre-sliced cheese and cold cuts, and turning them into the American dream.”
Oscar drooled in hunger.
”Uh, guys, what the hell is that?” Bart asked pointing at something.
It was some nonsensical monster with googly eyes and a maw of sharp teeth with crab claws wearing a party hat. It was rampaging across town while Okra Winfrey, Oprah but as a sentient okra, was handing out okra.
”You get some okra! You get some okra! You all get some okra!”
The Simpsons sweat dropped.
“What is that?! Why, it’s America's favorite Sandwich cookie!” Homer cheered with delight as it started raining Oreos.
Bart face palmed. “Can we just go home...”
“Yes let’s.” The Simpsons went home. Presumably Marge made sandwiches from the sandwich fillings she took home. Or a nice salad.
It's a ham Sandwich... with cheese and lettuce. Hardly the American dream...
The Simpsons including Hugo were eating sandwiches for tea.
Bart fed his dog part of his Sandwich. Marge made more than they could eat and he didn’t want to see the dog go hungry.
”Bart stop feeding that starving animal!” Homer growled.
Bart glared at him.
At the Spuckler ran Mother Hubbards.
Dan Gillick opened up his sandwich and found no cheese in it. “Hey where’s my cheese?!”
Sideshow Mel suddenly tasted cheese in his sandwich and swallowed hard. “You backwater buffoon! Didn’t I tell you I am lactose intolerant! Ooooooh! I’m gonna be sick! Stand by the bathroom door so I can yell at you some more!” He yelled at Cleatus.
Cleatus did so. Mel was in the bathroom throwing up and cursing and insulting Cleatus.
Then Krusty became the Marvel Super hero Moon Knight! What it makes sense! His dad’s a rabbi!
Bart face palmed.
At work the next day.
The Simpsons were making and selling sandwiches. However they had a new problem. Sentient vegetables disapproving of customers not wanting a particular vegetable in their sandwich.
”Any olives?” Hugo asked Jurkle.
”Um no.” said Jurkle.
We pan over to a giant sentient olive with a face looking menacing and holding nunchucks.
Next Carl ordered a reggae reggae chicken sub.
”Any jalapeños?” Hugo asked.
”No thanks. But thanks for asking.” said Carl.
A sentient chilli was teasing him. “Oooooooh! Too hot! Too spicy? Hot hoooot!”
Bart face palmed.
Then Sideshow Bob ordered a sweet chilli and mayonnaise chicken sub.
Bart didn’t scream this time as it was only a cameo because I said Bob would cameo every season 26 episode.
”Any cucumbers?” Hugo asked.
”No thank you.” said Sideshow Bob
A posh sentient cucumber slapped him. “You th’wine! Oh!” (You swine! Oh!)
Bart lied across the counter on his arms frustrated by the stupidity today.
Then the Simpsons wanted to quit working for Mother Hubbards but Trudy wouldn’t let them for some reason.
Marge later realised hiring babies to help out wasn’t a great idea.
(squealing) Eric was squealing while throwing the sliced vegetables about. He’s barely a year old! What do you expect!?
”Huh?“ Marge wondered why Maggie was extremely intelligent and sensible but Eric was behaving like a typical baby. (sighs)
(yawns) Bart was getting tired. “Mom, I need a few hours off. It's Milhouse's birthday party and I'm all the guests.”
”Not true! He invited me and Ralph too!” said Oscar.
“I understand, honey. Did you get someone to cover?” asked Marge.
“Mm. Grampa.” said Bart. Yes Grampa... that’s gonna be hilarious...
”I'm working the drive-through!” said Grampa at the window.
“There is no drive-through!” Marge yelled.
Grampa was giving away sandwiches to pigeons!
(coos) A pigeon flew in and took a sandwich and cooed a thank you to Abe.
“No, thank coo!” said Grampa.
Hugo laughed hysterically.
”Hugo enough of your obsession with pigeons!” Homer groaned.
Everyone was getting exhausted working.
(door opens, bell dings) A customer comes in.
“Ah, finally-- a customer! Aah!” said Homer but screamed because it was Mr Burns and Smithers.
“Simpson, why aren't you at work?” Smithers said sharoly.
“Whoa, hold that famous temper, Smithers. Who is this?“ Mr Burns fell in love with the Mother Hubbard’s Sandwich Cupboard mascot standee. “Simpson, introduce me to this almond-eyed beauty, and all is forgiven.”
”Uh, Mr. Burns, I'd like you to meet... Mother Hubbard standee. From the Wisconsin Standees!” said Homer.
“Milk-fed, yet so slim.” Mr Burns was smitten.
”Um Sir...” said Smithers.
Oscar snickered. “He’s in love with a standee...”
”Says the boy who tried to have a relationship with a Jaclyn Smith cardboard cutout...” Hugo sighed.