Sound Barts We learn all of Bart's catchphrases. And Bart annoys George Bush sr after he moves in across the road.
Bart was in his room going through his I didn't do it! merchandise.
“I didn’t do it, man!” said a Bart doll as he played with it.
Oscar comes in.
"Whatcha doing?" Oscar asked.
"Looking through my stuff when I was briefly famous. Can you believe I got famous from just a dumb little catchphrase?' Bart asked.
"Uh huh." Oscar replied. "Do you have any other sound bites, catchphrases? Like when your dad yells D'oh?" Oscar asked.
"Well I have quite a few short sayings I'm known for, it's rather cliched though." Bart sighed. "Me being the character with the catchphrases..."
"Well what are they?" Oscar asked.
"I would have figured you worked out my catchphrases by now considering how often I say them. I'm not a taking Krusty doll!" Bart groaned.
His doll from Treehouse of Horror III looked around shifty.
"You could sell some and be famous again..." Oscar replied.
"No thanks..." Bart sighed.
”Fine...” said Oscar.
He saw a Bart doll lying on Bart’s bed. In particular he was drawn to the doll’s shorts. Oscar picked up the doll and removed its shorts from it.
”Oz what are you doing...” Bart winced.
Oscar stared at the shorts he held in his other hand and smirked.
”Oz no!” Bart whined.
Oscar popped the Bart doll’s shorts in his mouth and tried to eat them.
Our story starts when one day George Bush senior moved in opposite the Simpsons.
In canon this was after a boot fair/garage sale. Sat across the road of Evergreen Terrace was a grand, beautiful mansion. It was bought by former Presidents. Last month Nixon had moved out citing damn hippies. George Bush Senior was now living there.
Bart decided to annoy him, Dennis the menace style. (Blond Dennis that is.)
"Helllooooo! George!" Bart somehow was let in the Bush household while George was reading. Oscar was there too.
"Barbara! Why is this kid here?!" George yelled.
"Oh George! He's the Simpsons kid! He just wants to say hello." Barbara explained.
”No don’t touch that card shuffler!” George cried out but Bart touched a card shuffler and playing cards shit out of it and flew everywhere.
”Noe George he’s just curious.” said Barbara Bush. “Why don’t you shoe him your photo album.”
”But he might gunk it all up! He’s hands are probably sticky with mud and cookies...” George whined.
Bart looked at his hands. They were pretty much clean.
”No George. But my friend Oscar’s hands are always sticky or muddy...” cBart sighed.
Oscar’s hands were grubby and muddy.
George decided to occupy Bart by showing him his photo album. However Bart kept interrupting him.
"Who's that George?" Bart asked.
"You wouldn't know who that is. That's-"
"Who's that George?" Bart asked.
”That’s me with Charlton Heston. He was-“
”A damn dirty ape! You maniacs!” Oscar yelled.
”Oz no!” Bart whined. He face palmed before continuing to annoy George.
”Who’s that George?” Bart asked.
"That's Bob Dole. He ran against Bill Clinton!"
"That's a funny name George!" Bart remarked.
"Bart!" George said firmly but tried to remain calm. "We do not call grown ups by their first names! Call me Mr Bush!"
"Sure George!" Bart replied.
"Barb!!" George Bush yelled.
"For goodness sake!" Barbara sighed.
She found something to occupy Bart. However it devolved into Bart going through their cupboards in the kitchen.
"Barb! Why is that kid in our kitchen?!" George asked.
"Where's your candy?" Bart asked.
"We don't have candy!" George got increasingly annoyed.
"Oh... Let me handle this." Barbara said to George.
"Bart, we don't keep candy in the house. However I could bake you some cookies!" Barbara said to Bart.
George muttered something under his breath about Barbara never making him some cookies.
Bart was eating some cookies.
"Can I have one?" George asked.
"You can eat my shorts!" Bart replied laughing.
George blew a fuse.
”Easy there Mr Bush. I’ll eat his shorts.” Oscar said grinning.
”Oz for the umpteenth time! No! Do not eat my shorts!” Bart groaned.
"Eat my shorts... okay..." Oscar remarked. "What would happen if someone tried to do that?"
"Why would you do that?! That would be extremely weird!" Bart replied.
”No it wouldn’t!” Oscar retorted.
Homer walked past.
"Hey Dad. Eat my shorts!" Bart demanded.
"Bart!" Homer yelled.
After Homer left, Bart sat down to play with one of his Krusty dolls.
"Then there's Ay Carumba. I think it's Italian for something I dunno. I just yell it when I'm shocked at something.
one afternoon at George's Bart saw his paper shredder. It was huge!
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelled.
"Bart! Do you have any idea what that means?!" George told him off.
"It means ay carumba?" Bart asked.
"It means Hot Damn it! in Spanish!" George replied.
"George! Watch your language!" came Barbara's voice.
"I was just explaining-!" George replied before sighing in defeat.
”And that’s our example for this- Oz no! Put back my shorts!” Bart had finished recounting a story but was jolted out of it by seeing Oscar open up his drawer where he kept his shirts and shorts. Oscar took out a pair of shorts and licked his lips. He was intent on eating them...
On the school bus.
"I also used to say Cowabunga a lot when skateboarding. But only because it was the 80s. It was a popular thing then. Probably because of those turtles..." Bart replied.
Nelson pantsed Oscar. "Ha! Turtle pants!"
Oscar blushed as everyone saw his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles underwear. He quickly pulled up his shorts.
Everyone was laughing.
"Uh..." Bart was lost for words.
”Well at least he’s not wearing a diaper...” said Hugo.
"Mind you, I don't say it like Michaelango does." Bart replied.
"Cookie Monster once said it too," Oscar replied.
"Uh yeah... I think that stopped when he started eating healthily..." Bart sighed.
"Any way... then there's I didn't do it which got me famous... I have variations like "nobody saw me do it!" You can't prove I do it..." Bart explained. "That's often when I'm in trouble with Skinner."
“I bet he was so mad when you turned up to school the next day after running off from the box factory to see Krusty at Krustylu Studios...” said Oscar.
At home, Bart and Oscar are watching Dennis the Menace.
"Who wears dungarees at that age?! I stopped wearing them when I was two!" Bart remarked.
"I still prefer Beano's Dennis." Oscar replied.
”The Beano sucks... Limey boy...” Bart sighed.
”Why you big!” Oscar throttled him.
Oscar after taking time to calm down.
"Then there's Don't have a cow man! That's meant to have the opposite effect of Eat my Shorts or Get Bent. I'm not trying to antagonize someone there I'm asking them to cool down, relax... I was just messing with ya." Bart explained. "Just don't use that one around Apu..."
”Mmmmmm! Sacred cow...” said Oscar drooling.
"What's Get Bent for?" Oscar asked.
"Same as eat my shorts. For deliberately antagonizing grown ups. Except I really only use it on people I don't like." Bart explained. “Like Sideshow Bob.”
"I also am rather rude with my introduction if I already don't like someone. I.e. I'll say I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?! Rather than a polite What's your name?"
"This cartoon sucks! Dennis in Britain at least had a bad attitude like yours. Blondie Dennis is such a Gary Stu..." Oscar groaned.
"Do I really act like Dennis?" Bart asked.
"Well you prank people. You've now got a grouchy neighbor now who doesn't tolerate your antics. Unlike Flanders... And those kids had a point about your slingshot." Oscar replied.
Bart sighed while holding his slingshot.
"I really want one of those. My parents wouldn't let me have one." Oscar sighed.
"They're easy to make. I'll show you. And I'll set up a target practice in the backyard. You can bring a friend but don't make it a party of cameos..." Bart sighed.
Bart set up targets in the backyard. He then showed Oscar how to carve a slingshot and give it a sling.
"Pebbles can be used as ammo. But anything small works. Just don't aim it people! That's a registered firearm! Well almost..." Bart replied.
“I own a registered fire arm...” said Oscar.
Bart winced uncomfortable.
Oscar invited Young Link around.
"Oscar why....?!" Bart asked.
"He has a slingshot!" Oscar replied.
"Are we gonna be going on about my slingshot all day? I have other toys you know!" Link sighed.
”Oz lots of kids have slingshots... like American Dennis and British Dennis.” Bart sighed.
”In Britain it’s called a slingshot...” said Oscar.
Bart then decided to prank George by pretending his kids Jeb and George junior were visiting with cut outs.
The door rang.
”Barb! The boys have come to visit!” said George Snr.
”Oh splendid! Let them in!” said Barbara Bush.
However when George went out to visit them they were pulled away and Bart squeezed glue on George's head. Oscar on Link's shoulders stuck a rainbow wig on George's head. They laughed.
"Grrrrrr!" George blew a fuse again.
George's bodyguards removed Bart, Oscar and Link from the premises.
Geirge was being interviewed while wearing the silly rainbow Afro wig.
Oscar, Bart and Young Link laughed hysterically as the watched from Bart’s house.
”Any questions?” George asked. Lots of journalists clammered forward. “Not ones about my hair...” George sighed.
Bart was doing chores in the garage with a vacuum cleaner. He sucked things up with it. Then he set it to blow instead. It blasted a golf ball at George while he was addressing some important news crew and broke some of his false teeth.
"Eep!" said Bart as George glared at him.
"George..." Barbara tried to calm him down.
"This interview is over!" yelled George as he went in.
In the Simpsons garage.
"You should totally ruin his barbecue with sawdust and paint..." Oscar commented.
"No! We're not copying the Dennis the Menace movie!" Bart replied.
”Kallae kistnae!” Oscar rasped in gibberish.
”Oz no! No speaking gibberish!” Bart groaned.
"So... Got any other catchphrases?" Oscar asked.
"Nope." Bart replied.
However Oscar bribed Bart with a fifty dollar bill to continue the Dennis pranks.
Bart was vacuuming the garage again and sucked up some paint. He set the vacuum cleaner to blow and a glob of paint shot out and flew over to George Bush’s house while he had a barbecue on.
”Oops!” said Bart.
At the Bushes. George had finished cooking some chicken breasts and tried one.
”This chicken tastes like paint...” He said aloud.
”I’ll make us some sandwiches.” said Barbara.
Bart then went out for the day. He went to Apu’s store for a Squishee, Noise Land Arcade to play on the machines, Android’s dungeon to buy a comic and Phineas Q Butterfat’s Ice cream parlour for an ice cream sundae.
Bart was eating ice cream.
Meanwhile the Flanderses spoke with George politely.
”Just beware of Bart. He’s a bad boy...” said Rod.
”Oh now don’t scare Mr Bush.” said Ned.
George saw Bart skateboarding past his mansion while staring at him in a creepy manner.
At Bart’s house.
”Bart please find something else to do other than annoying former President George Bush...” Marge sighed.
”I will...” Bart said insincere.
”And don’t stay out too late. That actor who plays the eccentric scientist from Back to the Future is making a cameo as a psychotic hobo.” said Marge.
That night Bart snuck into George’s bathroom and swapped round his mouthwash, nose drops and bleach.
Then he broke his false teeth.
George cane in once a Bart was long gone. He took a mouthful of what he thought was mouthwash while brushing his teeth but it tasted like bleach. He spat it out and washed his mouth out thoroughly.
He then applied his nose drops up his nose but suddenly filled his sink up with water and stuck his face in the water to flush out whatever was in his nostrils instead of nose drops.
However Bart's pranks went a little too far. One day at Bush's he played with the paper shredder.
"No that's an industrial paper shredder!" George yelled. A sequence of events caused his papers to fall into the shredder and be shredded.
"Oops." said Bart.
George approached him menacingly. "Oops, indeed...I am going to do something your daddy should have done a long time ago."
He grabbed Bart and laid him across his lap and spanked him. "There, now go home and think about what you've done, young man!"
Bart went off rubbing his sore butt.
"He spanked you?!" Homer yelled when Bart told him George Bush Sr. spanked him. "You?! Bart Simpson?!"
"I begged him to stop but he said it was for the good of the nation!" Bart replied.
"That's it! First he makes fun of my baldness! Probably. Now he takes my right to discipline my smart alecky son!" Homer yells before storming off.
“I voted for Prell to go back to the old glass bottle.” Said Grampa.
”No one cares... Grampa...” Bart sighed.
Homer was at George Bush's.
"Um can we help you sir?" asked a security guard as Homer rattled the security gate.
"Yes I want to come in and punch George in his ugly face!" Homer demanded.
"Okay... is he expecting you?" said the security guard.
"I'll speak with him, Larry." George called his guards away. "Your boy destroyed my memoirs!" He yelled at Homer.
"You spanked my boy!" Homer yelled.
"I was only doing what you should have done years ago! And if yo had he wouldn't be so badly behaved!" George yelled.
"Get out here and say that!" Homer yelled.
"Sir can you move along please." said the guards.
"Ooooh! Hiding behind your goons!" said Honer taunting. "You sir are a wimp!"
George got very mad but quiet. "Wimp eh? Men you can stand down!" He ordered his guards to stand down.
"But sir!" They protested.
"Now! That's an order!" George said sharply. They did so.
George went speak more personally with Homer.
"Okay, Homer you want trouble, you're gonna get trouble!" George warned him.
"Good cos I like trouble!" Homer replied menacingly.
"Well, there's gonna be a lot of trouble..." said George.
"Bring it on!" said Homer.
"For you!" said George before going indoors.
"D'oh!" said Homer.
"Bah! Big deal! I was spanked by presidents from Roosevelt to Eisenhower! And when I got home my pappy spanked me too!" said Grampa.
"Abe... things may have been different in your time but we just don't believe in punishing our kids that way." Marge replied.
"That's why your son is out of control! He tar and feathered me last week! If you had spanked his ass long ago he'd be set straight!" Abe yelled.
”Grampa has a point Mom...” said Lisa.
Anyhoo. There was a campaign of pranks against the Bushes and the Simpsons against one another.
Bush graffitied his own war memorial outside his house with crude drawings Of Homer and Bart with the words Bad Neighbors below them.
"Are you saying me and Bernice are bad neighbors?" asked Dr Hibbert.
"No! It's that Simpson man and his boy, you know... Barb! What's the boy's name?" George asked.
"I'm not getting involved!" said Barb.
"Well I thought it was perfectly clear..." George said to Dr Hibbert.
Then Homer and Bart fired fireworks at George that night.
"Fifty points if one goes up his butt!" said Bart.
"If they think I'm beaten, they don't know George bush..." said George as he watched the fireworks flying at his house.
Then George chopped down their letter box.
Then they glued a wig on his head again.
He had to go to an important meeting like that.
"Any questions?" George asked. "Bearing in mind I've told you all about my hair..."
Then George drove over the Simpsons lawn leaving muddy trails and getting mud on their windows.
"Dad, I think George is lost..." said Bart.
"He's not lost..." said Homer.
Barbara came round for tea with the Simpsons to apologise for George's behaviour.
"I'm sorry Marge. George can be so stubborn sometimes!" said Barbara.
Meanwhile Homer and Bart had another prank on. Bart had a box of something.
"Locusts! They'll drive him nuts!" said Bart.
They went into the sewers that connected up with George's house. However George saw them.
"They think George Bush won't go in a sewer? They don't know George Bush..." said George Bush.
He jumped into the sewer behind them. "Hey fatty!"
"You apologise for spanking my son!" Homer yelled.
"Not until he apologises for destroying my memoirs!" said George.
"You didn't tell me you destroyed his memoirs!" Homer gasped at Bart. Bart shrugged his shoulders. "Never!"
Homer and George started fighting each other.
"Coool! Go Dad!" said Bart.
However George Bush was willing to kill...
"This is a little something we learned in the CIA!" George said as he pulled out a garrotting wire from inside his wrist watch. He was intending to choke Homer to death!
Bart gasped in horror. He opened the box of locusts. They flew out and attacked George, somehow...
Outside on the surface Homer and George climbed out still fighting.
Gorbachev arrived with a gift.
"What's this? I come with gift and find you fighting with citizens! In mother Russia I'd have sent him to the gullag!" said Gorbachev.
"George..." Barbara glared at George.
"Barb I can't show weakness in front of the Russians!" said George Bush.
"George!" Barbara raised her voice.
George sighed. "Okay, Homer. I apologise for spanking your son. It won't happen again..."
"Woohoo!" said Homer.
"Ha! You American presidents are all the same! Sissies!" said Gorbachev laughing evilly.
Eventually the Bushes had to leave. George impatiently honked his car horn to make Barbara get in the car.
"Well, goodbye." said Barbara. They left.
Sometime later Gerald Ford moved in. He looked like Homer a bit.
"Hi!" Gerald Ford greeted him.
"Hi Mr President! Sir!" said Homer.
"Just call me Gerald!" said Gerald warmly. "Now, do you like football?"
"Do I?" Homer was excited.
"Do you like nachos and beer?" Gerald asked.
"Yes Gerald!" said Homer.
"Then how about you come over to my place then and we can watch the game!" said Gerald.
"Oooooh!" Homer was inquisitive and followed Gerald.
They went to the president's house.
"Gerald, I think this is gonna be the beginning of a beautiful-" They both fell over and went D'oh!