Something Weird This Way Comes Weird things happen in Springfield. When Lisa gets drunk accidentally she becomes the lizard queen! Bart has nightmarish hallucinations and after an incident at a historical edupark killer robot presidents take over the world!

Plot[edit | edit source]

The Lizard Queen

The Simpsons are driving to the Duff Beer gardens. Homer can't find anywhere to park so he squeezed the car into a parking space meant for smaller cars.

Marge hmmmmed annnoyed at him.

As they entered there were long queues.

”D’oh!” Homer groaned.

”Look how long that queue is! Any ride with a queue has got to be good!” said Bart.

The queue was for the complaints office.

”Get bent...” said the lady manning the complaint kiosk rudely to a visitor.

”Oh look! The seven Duffs!” said Homer.

”Hey watch it!” Surly Duff said rudely to a guest who accidentally bumped into him.

Queasy Duff was vomiting I to the flowerbeds inebriated.

”Let’s go to the gift store!” said Lisa.

They went to the gift store.

”Beer goggles ay?” Bart asked looking at Duff Beer Goggles. He tried them on. Aunt Selma became a beautiful lady.

”You’re charming the pants off of me...” said the lady in a sultry manner.

”What was that Aunt Selma?” Bart asked.

”I said take off those damn glasses!” said Aunt Selma.

”Selma! He’s just browsing!” Marge said sharply. “Bart you don’t need such silly things...” Marge sighed.

The family went to the park. They tried the around the world in seven Duffs ride. It was a parody of the It's a small world ride at Disney.

”Duff beer for me! Duff beer for you! I‘ll have a Duff! You have one too!” sung the animatronics.

Homer grooved to the silly music.

”Dad can I have a Duff?” Bart asked.

”No!” Marge said sharply. “Hmmmmmm! They really shouldn’t be marketing beer to children...”

"Lisa, I dare you to drink the water." said Bart.

"I don't think that's water..." said Lisa.

Bart made chicken noises.

"Quit it! Quit it! Quit it!!" Lisa yelled.

"Bart sit down! Lisa drink the water!" yelled Homer.

”Homer no!” Marge said sharply.

Lisa reluctantly did so. Suddenly she felt funny as the animatronics vanished into darkness and she saw colourful sparkles. She laughed madly.

"Lisa why don't you just cuddle up to your aunt Selma's shoulder..." said Aunt Selma as a many eyed monster from Lisa's point of view. A mouth grew out of her shoulder and snarled at Lisa.

Lisa screamed and started swinging the boat's oar at everyone.

"Cooool! She's nuts!" Bart cooed.

Marge hmmmmed as she ducked mad Lisa's swings. "Homer do something!"

Oscar was scared of the animatronics because of the way they were staring blankly.

"I wanna get off!" He whined.

"You can't get off! The ride hasn't finished yet!" said Patty.

”Patty!” Marge said ducking Lisa’s mad swings. “Some one stop the ride! My daughter is sick and our foster son is frightened!”

An operator sighed and turned off the ride and turned on the very bright lights.

Everyone whined.

”Sorry folks, this session is being suspended so a big baby can get off and whine...” the ride operator groaned.

Marge grumbled escorting Oscar who was scared of the animatronics off of the ride.

...

Exiting the ride, Lisa ran off holding a hula girl animatronic and snarling. She then left it behind,

"Lisa! Come back!" Marge yelled. Lisa danced about as she wondered about high or drunk on something.

Marge frowned at her husband. "Homer, you encouraged her to drink the water!"

Oscar was crying, traumatised by the ride.

”There there, dear... it’s just a kooky ride with metal and plastic singing cartoon people! Hmmmmm... it was rather dark though...” said Marge.

Bart used this opportunity to sneak off and try to get on a rollercoaster too big for him.

"Eh, close enough." said the ride clerk despite that Bart was way too small for the ride. He got away with it because he was standing on candy apples stuck to his trainers to give him extra height.

Bart sat in his seat and laughed deviously. However the ride took off very fast. Because he was too small he nearly flew out the car, but held onto the safety bar for dear life. He screamed but was ignored until the ride ended.

After he got off Oscar found him. "Bart are you alright?" Oscar asked. Bart vomited on the floor. "Eeeeew!"

Meanwhile Lisa was joining the parade. She danced about in front of it. "Whoooooo! I can see every color!" she said in her drugged mad state.

Eventually the family reunited and found Lisa at the medical office.

"Oh my goodness!" said Marge when they found her. She was wearing only a towel and was pale, wet and delirious.

"We found this one swimming naked in the fermentation!" said a park security guard.

"I am the Lizard Queen!" yelled Lisa with crazy eyes. She coughed.

"Oh Lord!" Marge facepalmed.

A green lizardy hand poked Homer's shoulder. It was the Lizard King from Dragons Lair. "Uh Lisa, this guy would like a word..." Homer gulped.

"You know nothing of my work! Sssssssss!" said the Lizard King.

The man gave Marge medicine. “Take these and these and these...”

”Thank you Doctor...” said Marge.

”Oh I’m not a doctor.” said the man.

”Then why on Earth did you give me pills for my daughter?!L Marge yelled.

”Just leave our park! Your children have caused enough trouble already today!” The not doctor yelled.

The Simpsons left.

...

Eventually they got Lisa home and into her pyjamas. She came down with a nasty cold.

"Oh dear! Your temperature is through the roof young lady." Marge was taking her temperature.

Lisa groaned as she regained some of her mentality. Well she wasn't declaring she was the Lizard Queen any more at least...

"So how's the Lizard Queen doing?" Bart asked.

"Bart!" Marge yelled. "Your sister just needs plenty of bed rest." They were all in Lisa's bedroom while she was in bed recovering.

"C-(coughing)-c-can everyone just leave me to rest? Oooooh! My head!" Lisa groaned. They left her to sleep.

Lisa wakes up and goes to the bathroom. She looks in the mirror to find she is scaly. (Like fish Bart from the comic where he spliced his DNA with Amphibian DNA.) She screamed.

The family were horrified by how this could have happened.

"We need a scientist." said Oscar.

"Did someone say scientist?" said Professor Frink. "Glavin!"

Professor Frink flew to and from the Duff Beer gardens and took a sample of the water from the Around the world in seven Duffs ride on Oscar's instructions.

"Ah voy! Here's the problem! This dead lizard was found in the water and a high volume of radiation was found in it!" said Frink.

"Is there anyway to turn me back to normal?" asked Lizard Lisa, now even more lizard like.

"Well I'll have to research it. This isn't normal science, it's mad scientist territory with the Frankenstein monster and the It's alive! Alive!" Frink explained before going nuts again.

Everyone hmmmmmmed at him.

"Don't worry Lisa, you'll get back to normal soon." Marge explained.

...

During that time, Lisa's room had to be heated at all times because of her lizard DNA. At School she scared everyone and crawled on the walls. And then she grossed out Bart by eating a mouse.

"Eeeeeew! Lisa!" Bart groaned.

One afternoon he found her in her room with Maggie. She was dressed as a queen.

"Lisa?" Bart asked.

"I am the Lizard Queen!" yelled Lisa.

"Oh great..." Bart groaned.

The family had to deal with Lisa insisting she was the Lizard Queen.

Eventually Professor arrived with a serum that when he injected it into Lisa, it turned her back to normal.

"Phew! Thanks Professor!" Said Lisa.

Eye Scream!

One afternoon in Bart's room. It is dark and only lit by a flashing light and sounds from a video game as we pan across several comics scattered across the floor with scary images of monsters in them.

Bart is sitting way too close to the TV while playing a video game. Eventually he gets so close to the screen his bloodshot eyeballs are touching it.

"Bart! Don't sit so close to the screen! You'll damage your eyes!" said Marge. "In fact you've been on that all day, turn it off and go outside!"

Bart sighed and did so. He went downstairs.

While playing outside Bart nearly went into the road and nearly got ran over. However Oscar yanked him back. The car bobbed and the driver yelled at him.

"Bart are you nuts?! You could have been killed!" Oscar yelled. "Or worse, expelled!"

Lisa was more worried than angry. "Bart. Did you not see that car?"

"What car? Who's asking you, pink spots!" said Bart.

"Oh dear..." Oscar and Lisa sighed.

...

At School Bart spent all of recess staring directly at the sun. Then he mistook a skunk rummaging through a bin for a cat.

"That is the stinkiest kitty ever!" Bart groaned holding his nose.

Everyone in school smelt him. He had to go to see Willie for a tomato bath.

Then when taking a toilet break he accidentally goes to the girl's causing them to scream and beat him up.

At lunch he ordered what he thought was pizza but was actually the veal sweetbread. He also sat next to a big tough kid thinking he was Lisa. The kid got annoyed at him and punched him sending flying down the table to where Lisa was sitting.

"Yeeeuck! This pizza tastes rank!" Bart groaned spitting out his food.

"I think something's really wrong with your eyes Bart! That's the veal sweetbread!" Lisa was concerned.

"Yeeeuck!" Bart pushed his plate of veal sweetbread away.

...

The family took Bart to the ophthalmologist to check his eyes. The doctor decided he needed glasses.

"No way! Glasses are for geeks and nerds!" said Bart.

"Well there's always lasers." said the ophthalmologist.

"Cool!" said Bart.

"One session costs a thousand dollars." said the ophthalmologist.

Homer screamed.

They walked home.

"Bart you need to get your eyes sorted! Won't you please consider glasses?" Marge asked.

"Or we could win the lottery. Like that'll ever happen!" Homer remarked.

Professor Frink was rooting through the garbage. "Ba-hooey! I couldn't help but over hear your son's eye proble! Glavin!"

"Professor? Can you help?" Lisa asked.

"Why certainly!" said the professor.

...

Bart found himself strapped to a table with a big laser pointed at him.

"Hey doc. When your done fixing his eyes can you use that laser to xerox away the tattoo on his arm?" Homer asked.

"No way!" Yelled Bart.

"Grrrrrr! Don't you undermine me!" Homer yelled.

However only Bart's eyes got zapped.

After the zap Bart looked around. He found his vision was a hundred percent clearer. "Wow! I can see better than before! Thanks doc!" said Bart.

"No problem. Anything for the Simpsons." said Frink.

Bart looked at his mother tattoo. "No one's getting rid of you baby!" He said lovingly to the tattoo. Homer growled at him.

...

The next day at school Bart's friends were checking up on him to see if he was alright. However Bart had a scary vision of Milhouse badly injured and mangled up with his equally mangled bike.

Bart screamed.

"Bart why are you screaming?" Milhouse asked.

"Uh... I saw a bee?" Bart replied.

"We'll see ya." Milhouse drove his bike into the road and was ran over and ended up in the same sorry mess Bart saw in his vision.

Bart was horrified.

After visiting Milhouse in hospital, Bart bumped into Ralph.

"Hi Bart!" said Ralph.

"Hey Ralph..." said Bart, annoyed by Ralph's prescience. Suddenly he saw Ralph, but he was squashed under an elephant's foot. Bart screamed and ran away.

"Bye Bart!" said Ralph. An elephant was behind him. It trumpeted with its trunk loudly.

Bart bumped into Lisa but had a vision of her head on a pink table clothed table. He screamed and ran to school.

At School he met Lisa again but her head was on a table with a pink table cloth.

"Oh no! Lisa!" Bart yelled.

"Yes... my costume for the school play... I got picked to be a table, get it out of your system..." Lisa sighed.

...

Bart was playing soccer one weekend and Homer picked him up late. During that time he had such bizarre encounters as seeing a tornado blow away Mary Poppins, get splashed with mud and saw a woman that looked like Homer driving about.

"I am woman, hear me roar! In numbers too big to ignore! And I know too much to preteeeeend!" sang the lady as she drove past.

Bart rolled his eyes as he reached his cell phone to call Homer.

Eventually Homer picked him up. Bart was mad at him.

"Where the hell were you?" Bart demanded.

"I'm sorry. Look I brought you a sundae." Homer gave him the ice cream sundae but the car hit a bump and spilt the sundae on Bart's head. Homer gulped.

Homer was then yapping on and on. Bart glared furiously at him and squeezed his soccer ball so hard it burst. He then had another horrible vision. Homer's face melted horribly like he looked into the ark of the covenant.

"Now how bout a huuuug?" said the frightening ghoul with a horribly burnt face.

Bart screamed at him.

"What? Aaaaaaaagh!" There was a van coming from the other way, homer was in the wrong lane. However it was too late and they crashed. The crash was a particularly fiery one so bothe vehicles erupted into flames.

Homer screamed as he burnt horribly. However Bart was knocked unconscious by the crash.

...

He woke up in hospital. His family minus Homer were watching over him.

"Now Bart, you suffered a nasty blow to the noggin." said Dr Hibbert.

"Where's Dad?" asked Bart.

"I'm afraid he has suffered serious burns all over his body. He's not ready to see yet." Dr Hibbert explained.

Bart was shocked and horrified.

Once the Doctor left, Bart had some news.

He explained he was having visions of bad things happening to people and then those things happening.

Oscar was writing something in a book. The page was labled "possible Treehouse of Horror ideas?"

Marge hmmmmmed.

Once Bart could be discharged, Lisa took him to Professor Frink's.

"I believe you Bart, sort of." Lisa explained.

Professor Frink explained the laser used wasn't a laser at all. It was an experimental tool that he has never tested on live subjects before. Lisa was cross with him for using Bart as a guinea pig.

"Just zap me again, that normally fixes things." Bart suggested.

"No!" Lisa yelled. But Frink wanted to because it was fun. He zapped Bart's eyes.

Bart was now seeing everything as Gorrilaz.

"Bart are you alright?" Lisa asked.

"Let's zap him again!" Oscar suggested.

Bart was zapped again. He saw everything as anime.

Everyone was speaking Japanese.

"I can't understand what you're saying!" Bart yelled.

Bart was zapped again.

He then saw everything as Disney.

"I think he is finally back to normal." said Frink in a Disney voice.

"Stop mocking me!" Bart yelled.

"We're not." Oscar explained.

"Yes you are! Stay away from my eyes!" Bart grabbed a science fictionish blaster weapon that was probably one of Frink's inventions.

"No! Put that down!" Frink yelled.

Bart talked in tongues and chased after them with the gun around the lab.

There was a prolonged scooby doo doors sequence.

Eventually a robot grabbed Bart and held him down despite his angry protests.

"Now Professor!" Oscar yelled.

Bart was zapped.

"Um, eeeeew!" said Lisa as they looked down at Bart.

"What?" said Bart. He had live action (real!) eyes.

President Evil

One day Bart's class were on a school trip to a museum. The museum tried to be hip and cool with things such as rapping presidents robots. Robots of the presidents of the USA that were rapping. However everyone except Martin found the show boring.

"Let's see if they wore underwear back then." Bart pondered as he got up on stage.

"Bart no!" said Mrs Krabappel. But it was too late as Bart yanked down the George Washington robot's trousers exposing its robot parts and circuitry. It turned round and glared at him with red terminator eyes.

"Ay carumba!" Bart yelped.

Very soon robots across the museum park went rogue and started attacking people. The fourt grade class had to abandon the school trip and go home.

"Bart you are in so much trouble when we get back to the school!" said Mrs Krabappel.

...

Bart was told off by Principal Skinner and then his parents when they were called to pick him up. He was suspended from school and grounded - with no video games, no TV, and no comic books.

...

The robots all had to be rounded up and rebooted from scratch. Eventually the museum rebooted all of them.

However Bart's mischief was far from over. During class a robot was brought in to teach about robots. However Bart clearly noticed the robot was controlled remotely by a man in a tree outside the classroom.

Bart had an idea and took out his slingshot.

"No kid! No!" said the technician in the tree. Bart knocked him out of the tree with a rock fired from his slingshot.

"Remote control severed." said the robot. "Assuming direct control. New primary objective. Kill! Destroy!" said the robot as it grabbed Principal Skinner and strangled him.

"Help! It's killing me!" Yelled Skinner.

All the kids cheered. Except Martin.

Lessons had to be cancelled while the robot was shutdown.

Bart laughed in the playground as he recounted what happened to his friends.

Then at Professor Frink's lab he messed with the robots. However when these ones went rogue they attacked him!

"Aaaaaagh! Help!" Bart cried as the robots strangled him. Luckily the professor shut them down.

"There. I hoped you learnt a valuable lesson Bart." said Frink.

"Yes Doc..." Said Bart. From then on he vowed never to mess about with robots ever again.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • This is a three story episode like Treehouse of Horror but not necessarily horror/spooky.
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