Simpsons Fanon

Sight for Square Eyes The kids are watching too much television so Marge takes them out for the day to the museum of television. Lisa rightfully questions the value in this and asks why they can’t just go to a regular museum. Homer booked the day out because it is the last day the museum of television is open. Then Simon Woosterfield’s evil half brother and half sister are up to no good again.


The title gag is Bumblebee man chased by a swarm of bees.

The billboard gag is “Duffman is: Mark Twain. Springfield Playhouse.” with a picture of Duffman. He is in a production or play as Mark Twain.

The chalkboard gag is “Caucus is not a dirty word.”

Oscar’s lines are “Couscous is tasty.”

The couch gag is the Simpsons arrive to find a sword stuck in the couch. Homer grabs it and tries to remove it but is unable to. Prince Arthur Pendragon aka Wart as a boy successfully pulls out the sword and holds it aloft. God save the king/Queen plays and Oscar prostrates himself before his majesty King Arthur.

The kids, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Oscar, Hugo and Eric are watching cartoons in the living room.

Itchy and Scratchy is on. The episode is based on the King’s Speech film.

“Whooooo! Go King Albert!” Oscar cheered.

“Shhhhh! You limey!” Bart hushed him.

“Yank!” Oscar retorted.

“Shhhh?” Bart hushed him.

Scratchy was King Albert/George the VI. He was stuttering during a speech.

Itchy up to his usual violent behaviour cooked the royal jewels in the fire until they were red hot and forced them down the King’s throat. He then slaps the king and Scratchy as the king screams as the red hot gems burn holes in him and he bleeds out.

“Boooooo! Traitors!” Oscar yells.

“Oz go suck a lime...” Bart rolled his eyes.

The king screaming was heard across the world, even during a battle of the world war.

The king then collapsed dead from bleeding out. Adolf Hitler ran him over in a steam roller while saluting the sieg heil salute.

Bart and Lisa laughed.

Oscar seethed in anger.

Maggie did the Sieg Heil! salute.

Lisa gasped horrified and put Maggie’s arm down. She laughed nervously and sat down.

Krusty was on after the animated short. “Hooahahaha! Wasn’t that a great cartoon kids?” He then checked his schedule. “Now for- Another episode of Itchy and Scratchy?! Who’s show is this?!”

There was another episode of Itchy and Scratchy. It was called the social pet work. It was based on The Social Network movie.

Silly reference time!

The animation of a famous movie started with Justin Timberwolf, Maggie’s Wolf teddy plush wearing glasses and typing away at a computer.

“Justin Timberlake as Mark Zuckerberg reference.” he said typing away in code to create Facebook. “Ooooooh! Howl me a river! Ooooooh! Howl me a riveeeeer!” He sung a wolf themed version of Cry me a river.

“Oh god no narrator! No! No! No!” Bart head butted the couch frustrated.

Then Dudley Puppy from Tuff Puppy dragged Justin Timberwolf off screen. “Uh, my show’s character...” Dudley said with a frown. “Hi gee gee!”

“Ours too Dudley.” said Lisa.

Then Scratchy was in a rowing team but Itchy whacked him with an oar and sliced him open and scooped out his guts and organs. Itchy then sailed the hollowed out Scratchy down the Thames. Then the cartoon froze with white text and sad music. Itchy won millions of dollars in the race given in the form of cartoon sacks of money with dollar signs on them.

But in the bag of money was a cartoon bomb with a lit fuse. He threw it out the window and sighed with relief. But the bomb bounced off a fire brigade trampoline back into the room Itchy was in and exploded. Killing him.

Bart and Lisa and everyone laughed.

Krusty ranted about the show showing just cartoons. “Is this episode gonna just be cartoons?! Most of the movies we’re referencing are dated! It took so long to write the material we’re a year behind! And Awwwww!” He was interrupted by another episode of Itchy and Scratchy. This one was based on Black Swan.

Scratchy and Itchy were ballet dancing.

Itchy spun him round really fast and ripped off body parts. Leaving Scratchy’s legs and half a spine and ribs.

Bart and Lisa laughed.

“Itchy wins! Flawless victory. Fatality.” said the voice of Shao Kahn.

Suddenly Kabal decapitated Itchy. “I am not happy you stole my fatality Itchy! Quite frankly I’m rather mad!” He said in a whiny nerd voice.

“What the?!” Bart was confused by the silly references.

Then Meg Griffin was dancing, because Black Swan stars Mila Kunis.

“Shut up Meg! You can’t dance!” Peter Griffin yelled and decapitated her with a sword. “This is an important commercial message. The following kids in Springfield are heathens. Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson. That is all.”

Lisa did a loser sign at the TV.

Then Billy Elliot was Ballet dancing.

“Haw Haw! You’re a boy and you’re ballet dancing!” Nelson laughed at Billy Elliot. “I have no idea why I’m here.”

“Not my son, you bitch!” said Molly Weasley because her actress was in Billy Elliot.

Then Billy from Grim adventures was dancing in a purple unitard and a tutu.

“I once wore a tutu once, a Bishop Desmond Tutu.” said the voice of Tom Baker.

Oscar was laughing at the nonsensical stupidity in the cartoon. Marge came in.

“Kids, that’s enough TV today! Maggie’s eye is starting to wonder.” Maggie’s eyes were facing different directions. Marge twisted her pacifier like an oven switch to correct her eyes and turned off the TV.

“By the way, what were you watching?” Marge asked.

“A marathon of Itchy and Scratchy episodes based of last year’s trending movies.” said Lisa.

“Oh dear.., how many have you watched...” said Marge.

“Three in a row.” said Lisa.

Marge gasped as Maggie pulled out a huge knife and had that murderous look in her eyes again.

“Aaaaaaaaaagh! Violent Maggie!” Everyone except Bart screamed.

“Cooooool!” said Bart.

“Also Maggie did a Seig Heil slogan when she saw Hitler on Itchy and Scratchy!” Lisa gasped.

Marge gasped.

“Okay not cool.” said Bart.

”And they insulted my king Albert!” Oscar snapped angrily.

Marge sighed like Oscar’s point wasn’t important to her.

Homer came in and Maggie crawled up to him.

“Awwwww! Maggie! Daddy play upsies!” Maggie pulled a knife on him. “Aaaaaaagh!”

“No Maggie!” Marge gasped taking the knife. “That’s it, no more TV today!”

“Awwwwww! Mom!” The kids whined.

“I’m serious. It’s not healthy to watch TV all day, look, Oscar’s eyes are square.” said Marge.

Oscar had square eyeballs. Bart sighed and squeezed them back into their circular shape.

“We’re going out to get some nice fresh air. At the museum. Of television.” said Marge.

“Why can’t we go to a real museum... one that doesn’t have the skeletons of the Three Stooges in the lobby...” Lisa whined. Hugo nodded in agreement.

“Yeah Mom.” said Hugo.

“Because the museum of television is closing forever next Saturday so your father made it our family day out.” said Marge.

“Yeah, where else will people go to see old TV shows that are not archived in a glass building?” Homer explained. “”

We cut to someone on Hulu watching clips of the Simpsons. Including one of Bart in Russia skateboarding when an assassin fires a rocket launcher at him.

“Ay carumba!” Bart yells before exploding.

“Um okay...” said Bart wondering why he was in Russia and why an assassin was trying to kill him.

“Coooool! Out of context!” said Oscar.


The Simpsons went to the museum of television. Outside was a banner saying, touch the things you used to watch.

Then because of my typo there was a sign in Jamaican English with cartoon Rastafarian men that said “Touch the tings you used to watch, mon!”

”Maybe double check your fan fiction before you submit it, author...” Bart sighed.

Maybe you shut up...

Inside were exhibits for Thicker than water, Upscalien in da house. From Homer the Father. McGarnigal, Up late with McBain. Regular entertainment watched frequently by the Simpsons. One is a parody of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry. The latter is a spoof of Arnold Schwarzenegger. There was also an exhibit for Moore in New York and Search for the Sun. with a love heart for the o in for.

As Lisa explained to her annoyance at this museum, there was front and centre in the lobby, the skeletons of The Three Stooges. Well just Moe poking Larry in the eyes and a box of unclassified Curly bones.

Lisa sighed exasperated.

Oscar laughed and made Curly sounds.

“Hehehe, the little tyke knows great comedy...” said Homer tousling Oscar’s whacky overgrown brown hair held up with his green goggles.

And Isabel Sanford was there as the guest host of today’s tour.

“And this is what we call the happy ending. A real schmaltzy conclusion...” said Isabel Sanford. “And George Jefferson, if you’re watching. Please, please come home. We’re awfully worried about you.” Then the Jefferson’s theme played and she danced to it.

The Simpsons passed a set dedicated to King of the Hill.

“Bwaaaah!” said Hank. “I tell you something, propane and propane accessories are great. Ain’t that right Bobby?”

The King of the Hill theme then played as workers put away the exhibit rapidly.

Comic Book Guy was helping a man push the Batmobile somewhere. But the thrusters shot fire at his leg burning him. “Ooooooh! Bruce Wayne! Your automobile has singed my thighs!”

“Wayne Enterprises is not liable for that, citizen.” said Adam West Batman sitting in the Batmobile.

“Shhhhh! The museum owner told us to be quiet!” said Burt Ward as Robin/Dick Grayson hushing him.

Lisa was suddenly in the foreground.

“Hmmmmmm! They’re selling off old TV relics.” said Lisa looking at all the stuff being auctioned.

Bart went up to a table selling TV show memorabilia.

“Coooool! The gun Sheriff Baby wore!” Bart said about a program about a baby as a sheriff. He twirled the old cowboy gun around like a gunslinger but it fired and hit Homer in the butt tearing his pants.

“Ow! Bart!” Homer yelled. “Thank goodness I had this in my pocket...” he pulled out a black modern handgun. However it fired and the bullet bounced off of things causing mayhem before striking the ground near an exhibit dedicated to The Beverly Hillbillies and causing oil to come out of the ground, despite it being a synthetic copy of a lawn indoors...

”Homer I told you to get rid of that thing...” Marge nagged.

”And I told you, the second amendment entitles you Americans to carry guns and shoot each other like it’s the Wild West all over again...” said Oscar frowning.

“Ooooooh! My pants are splitting wide open! Now everyone will my tattoo on my ass of Donald Duck smoking a doob! That was for Marge’s eyes only!”

Marge smiles sheepishly.

The kids stared at her, wondering why she’d want to see a picture of Donald Duck smoking a joint.

Homer soon got over his wardrobe malfunction when he saw something he liked.

“Oh my god! Look! Fatso Flanagan!”

The Simpsons went to see an exhibit dedicated to a rip-off of The Honeymooners.

“Who’s Fatso Flanagan?” Bart asked.

“Only the funniest black and white man ever.” said Homer.

“Or Frank Gorshin when he painted himself black and white on Star Trek to so an episode about racism.” said Hugo.

Oscar shivered frightened by something. “Or my all time worst childhood fear that still haunts me to this day!”

“Is it socks?” Bart asked trying to guess.

“No Bart... it’s not socks...” said Oscar.

“Isn’t this show just a ripoff of the Honeymooners?” asked Marge.

“Everything is a rip-off of the Honeymooners...” said Homer holding Marge in a loving manner.

“Hmmmmm... Homie I don’t find a program about a man who openly threatens his wife with domestic violence romantic...” Marge sighed.

“Marge... it’s a metaphor... Jackie Gleason’s Ralph doesn’t really want to punch his wife out of the atmosphere to the moon! At least I hope not!” said Homer.

“Oooooh! Ralph! Fred... Archie... King of Queens.... I mean Homie...” said Marge as Homer danced with her.

The kids rolled their eyes.

Homer was watching Fatso Flanagan when the guest celebrity arrived.

“Oh oh oh! (Creepy laugh that sounds like a shiver in disgust)” said Joan Rivers doing her distinctive sounds. “Krusty how was today’s episode of The Krusty the clown show?”

“Terrible! It was nothing but a marathon of Itchy and Scratchy cartoons based on last year’s trending movies because it takes us so long to animate them!” Krusty ranted. “And then I had to babysit loads of crying Clownjas because I lost a bet with Oscar.”

We cut to Krusty dealing loads of Clownjas crying. “Oh god! Stop crying! Aaaaaaahhhhh aaaauuuughhh...(starts sobbing as a nervous wreck from the crying clown jack in a box creatures.)”

Sideshow Mel was baffled by this turn of events.

Plot 2[]

“Joan Rivers?! I thought she was dead.” Marge asked.

“Well I’m not.” said Joan Rivers creeping everyone out with her weird laugh.

“Oh! Joan Rivers! Is there a place on TV still for a fat middle aged father?” Homer asked.

Joan looked at him. “Hmmmmm! Could you play a bloated washed up corpse on CSI Miami?”

“Um no, I played a corpse on Law and Order in a morgue and well...” said Homer.

In a crime drama. Probably Law and Order. The main character was talking with the coroner who had determined how a body had died.

“Well I have examined the deceased and can determine the bruise on the temple was from a blunt force attack.” said the coroner.

There was a fat body under a white sheet matching Homer’s frame. It lied perfectly still throughout the scene until suddenly Homer started scratching his groin. The characters stopped talking to look over at the corpse scratching its crotch.

Homer sighed with relief and lied perfectly still again.

“Cut!” The Director yelled annoyed.

Meanwhile Bart and Oscar were at the table of nostalgic TV memorabilia.

Bart found a record. “Melvin and the Squirrels?! What’s that?”

“Part of the rodent invasion of television in the 1960s.” said Comic Book Guy putting the record in a record player and playing it.

High pitched voices sung to Yankee Doodle Dandy. “Yankee Doodle went to town. Ah-riding on a pony... He put a feather in his cap! And call it rice-a-rony!”


Bart grimaced. “Okay...”

Bart left to get away from hackneyed Alvin and the chipmunks parodies when he bumped into his friend and doppelgänger Simon Woosterfield.

“Oof!” said the boys colliding with each other.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” Bart groaned rubbing his sore head.

“I say! Remove yourself from my direction of locomotion when you see me! Don’t just stand there gawking! Tally ho and all that!” said Simon Woosterfield adjusting his glasses that had been knocked lopsided.

Bart helped Simon Woosterfield up.

“By gum! Bartholomew! What brings you here?” Simon asked.

“My mom thinks I’m watching too much TV.” said Bart. “And Oscar won’t write the episode properly.”

“Krusty is his own boss, he fires his producers, not the other way round.” said Oscar.

“Why is my show all cartoons?! I’m the star this show shares its name with!” Krusty yelled in a meeting with his producers.

“Krusty, kids don’t want to see a sleazy clown making references they don’t get and have to look up on Wikipedia or Twitter.” said a producer.

“Wikipedia?! Twitter?! Who comes up with these names?! Percy Dovetonsils?!”

Everyone was silent.

“Get it? He was on that show with the and the camels...” said Krusty.

“Krusty...” we’d like to make a few changes...” said a brown haired lady producer.

“You’re fired!” Krusty sacked her. “Now... anyone else wanna make some changes...” he waited for anyone else to dare challenge his authority.

Everyone shook their heads and chattered complying with him. “No no no! Everything’s fine Krusty, we’ll go back to just the one cartoon short and rest of the show featuring you Krusty.”

“That’s more like it... after all it’s my name and face on that logo...”:Krusty warned his producers.


“I really think he likes Krusty even more than me...” Bart suggested. Simon nodded.

“Then... he said the title reminded him too much of the South Park episode 1% where Cartman destroys his soft toys because his fitness and health test scores lowered the school average.” said Bart.

Oscar is at Cartman’s tea party with their teddies and toys.

“I think you’re tough and handsome.” said Rumpletumpskin.

“Why thank you Rumpletumpskin!” said Cartman. “And what do you think of me Clyde Frog?”

“I think you’re a big, fat piece of crap!” said Clyde Frog.

Cartman is shocked. But is then angry with Clyde Frog. “Ey!”

Oscar exchanges looks with Teddy and Clownja and does a He’s crazy! Charades gesture.

Back to Bart and Simon.

“And stop calling me Bartholomew! It’s Bart!” said Bart.

“Okay... Bart...” said Simon.

“Anyway... why are you here?“ Bart asked.

“Buying records of American folk songs and canisters of helium to sing I high pitched voices. And Alvin and the Chipmunks memorabilia.” said Simon.

Bart really wanted to throttle him.

“And getting away from my evil half Brother and half sister Devin and Quenly. I don’t see them anywhere though.” said Simon.

“Eh... probably should check the young cosplayers in bad Marx brothers disguises at the Moustache and Moustache show exhibit.” Bart gulped pointing to Devin and Quenly in bad villain disguises.

“Eh too obvious... Devin and Quenly aren’t that stupid to wear bad disguises. So cliched.” said Simon.

In Pokemon the anime.

“Hey Ash, those sushi chefs at that kiosk that locals of Oldale have been saying have only pitched up shortly before we got here look mighty suspicious...” said Max adjusting his glasses.

Jessie and James are selling sushi and spying on the twerps.

“Nah they’re perfectly innocent Max...” said Ash.


In return for firing all his producers his new producers suggested he be fired out of the cannon on a fan’s birthday wish to fire Mel/Bob out of a cannon instead of Mel.

Mel was quite relieved. He helped the kid who’s birthday it was light the fuse of the cannon.

Krusty was fired out of it.

(Krusty screaming.)

“That stunt has so many health and safety violations...” said Sideshow Mel.

After work Krusty had some news from his half brother Luke Perry. He was suing the Griffins in Family Guy because they kept writing articles about him being gay.

“And in other news the doctors successfully reconstructed my face...” said Luke Perry after he was fired out of a cannon into a brick wall.

Speaking of half siblings...

Bart and Simon examined the exhibit where Quenly and Devan were poorly disguised.

“You know I’ve always found obvious fake moustaches the worst disguises... along with evil twin beards to make an evil doppelgänger... I mean really the evil doppelgänger is evil because they have a beard?! Lay off the beards guys...” said Bart to Simon Woosterfield.

“Took you two long enough...” said Quenly.

Then Simon gasped as his evil half brother and half sister were the flimsy disguised couple after all.

The evil half siblings did the Team Rocket motto. Nooooo!

“Prepare for trouble!”

“And make it double!”

“To protect the world from devastation.”

“To unite all worlds within our nation.”

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

“To reach out to the stars above!”



“Your fate is sealed half brother.”

“And this time we won’t fail!”

“Aaaaaaagh! Quenly and Devan!” Bart and Simon screamed.

“Aggggggh! Father!” Simon yelled.

“Daddy can’t save you this time Simon!” said Devan.

Simon’s evil half siblings chased after him and Bart.

“Why am I running?” Bart asked.

“After we kill Simon, we’re killing you for foiling our plans twerp!” Quenly snapped.

“Okay....” said Bart.


In another area of the museum the Simpsons discover another suggestion for Krusty to suffer a humiliation conga like a clown would to get popular with his fans because clowns are supposed to get humiliated and have pies thrown at them. Not tell bad comedy jokes that young fans don’t get or attend comedy rodeos doing racist impressions.

His humility at doing what a child’s clown entertainer does was, to attend a children’s soft play and ball pit area. The Simpsons except Bart found Krusty in a ball pit with children annoying him.

“I used to be a star! Now I’m babysitting little farzeenishes in a ball pit! (Sobbing) Ow! Hey don’t throw the balls you little! Um sweet little kid...” said Krusty in a ball pit.

“Oh oh oh! Krusty! I can help!” said Joan Rivers.

“Well you can start by helping me out of this ball pit! How do kids swim in these?!” Krusty asked as Joan Rivers pulled him out of the ball pit. The kids followed him.

“I wonder where Bart is.” Marge asked.

“Has anyone seen my triplet brother Simon?” Alvin Woosterfield in a red cardigan and trousers and smart clothes like Picard Simpson wore.

Bart and Simon ran past screaming chased by Devan and Quenly carrying props from the TV shows as weapons.

“I think that answers your questions.” said Oscar.

Alvin ran off to save Simon followed by his shy brother Theodore.

“Simon assemble our brothers triumvirate!” said Alvin Woosterfield.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore Woosterfield gathered up and changed into their comically made colour coordinated sweaters that cover their legs so only their feet are sticking out. Alvin’s was red with a yellow A on it wearing a red baseball cap. Simon was wearing his glasses and a blue sweater. Theodore was wearing green and his spikes were messy.

“Oh sweet Baby Ruths! No! Just no!” Bart whined as I continued making Alvin and the chipmunks jokes.

Simon and his triplet brothers inhaled helium and sung in silly high pitched voices.

“Hehehehe.... chipmunks...” said Oscar.

“Oz how does this help stop Quenly and Devan...” Bart sighed dodging a swipe from a shovel Quenly was holding.

“I don’t know but Simon and his brothers need the Chippettes as girlfriends...” said Oscar.

“Grrrrrrr!” Bart got frustrated with his stupid Alvin and the chipmunks obsession.


The Simpsons watched the Woosterfield triplets make stupid Alvin and Chipmunks jokes because Oscar wanted them to and Quenly and Devan trying to kill them with movie props.

“Oscar stop being stupid and help!” Lisa yelled.

“Hey get off my back!” Oscar whined. He looked in his backpack. His little monsters Teddy, Clownja etc came out.

He fused Teddy and Clownja to make Clown Teddy. Clown Teddy pulled out a huge squeaky hammer.

“Squeaky hammer slam!” Clown Teddy slammed a giant squeaky hammer upon Quenly and Devan before sending them flying with an upward swipe of his squeaky hammer. Every action was followed with a squeak from the squeaky hammer.

Oscar laughed.

”Hehehehe! Squeaky toy hammers...”

Bart winced exasperated.

“Looks like we’re blasting off again!!!” Quenly and Devan cry.

“Care bear tummy laser!” Clown Teddy yelled firing a Care bear stare laser from his tummy symbol at the sky where Quenly and Devan were. They exploded.

“Hopefully that’s the end of them.” said Bart to Simon and his brothers. They nodded.


Dave the human was so grateful to the Simpsons and especially Oscar for saving his three sons that he personally invited them into his mansion.

”Did you hear that Oz, you’re being thanked. Oz?” Bart asked Oscar but he was moaning aroused as Clown Teddy sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny red nose.

”Uh... you can thank him later...” said Bart as they went in the Woosterfield mansion.

Simon showed Bart around.

“Well I’ve already seen your footmen, butlers etc. Your swimming pool, your library, more than I wanted to... and your bedroom.” said Bart.

“Yeah... About you eating food in my racing car bed...” said Simon.

“Hey Simon show him our Helium chamber!” said Alvin Woosterfield showing a white chamber with Helium gas leaking from it. “It’s where we sing in high pitched voices because the Narrator won’t stop making moronic Alvin and the chipmunks references!”

“You’ll have to all get used to that...” Bart sighed.

Plot 3[]

In the Woosterfield lounge Joan Rivers explains her history with Krusty but I only include funny lines.

“It’s a long story.” said Joan Rivers.

“Oooooooh!” Homer groaned.

“It was the 1960s. I was a virgin agent. Looking for my first client, or fourth husband.”

“If they were your fourth husband how were you a virgin...” asked Oscar.

“Virgin as in my first client...” said Joan Rivers.

“So you never worked as an agent for Richard Branson...” said Oscar.

“No... now please don’t interrupt little one.” said Joan Rivers.

“Sorry Ms Rivers he’s a real little nut...” said Homer.

The flashback continued.

“And then I saw him!” said Joan Rivers.

“Richard Branson?” Oscar asked.

“Shut up!” Homer yelled.

A young Joan Rivers in the flashback saw Krusty.

“Hey hey!” Krusty laughed.

“Scary world. They dropped the A bomb, then skipped straight to the H bomb.” said Joan Rivers.

“And then they dropped the F bomb! By which I mean-“ said Oscar.

“Oscar no cursing!” said Marge.

“Those geniuses can destroy the planet but they don’t know their alphabet!” said young Krusty quipping.

“A Bomb means atom bomb, and H Bomb means Hydrogen bomb...” said Lisa being a geek.

“Hey hey! Somewhere in the future a little know it all is being a kill joy!” said young Krusty.

“Krusty had just done a success show in front of the bohemian crowd.” said Joan Rivers.

“Krusty/Hershel you were brilliant!” said Joan Rivers. Knowing him by his real name.

“Damn straight! There wasn’t a dry turtleneck in the theatre...” said Krusty.

“Mmmmmm! Bohemian....” said Oscar tugging at his turtleneck sweater.


In Simon’s room Bart ate candy corn from the candy corn dispenser and poppping candy from the pop rocks volcano.


“I better see what my brother did now to vex Father....” said Simon.

Meanwhile Joan Rivers as Krusty’s former agent worked with him on an episode of Krusty the clown show. It was utter nonsense with the stage redecorated to resemble Peewee’s playhouse and the following characters...

”Tick Tock the grandfather clock.” An elderly actor that resembled Malloy or that butler Nelson was beating up at Greta Wolfcastle’s school.

”Eh... Hickory dickory dock...” Tick Tock sighed.

Oscar laughed hysterically. “And a french candelabra with an outrageous accent!”

”Uh no...” said Krusty.

“Janeane Garofalo.” A political activist, possibly liberal and a comedian. However Krusty would not let anyone be funnier than him so she told her worst jokes.

A dancing chimp in a top hat and tuxedo and dinner coat with coattails with a cane dancing.

Oscar and Homer laughed hysterically.

Bart sighed.

”Dancing chimps...” Homer sighed while giggling.

”And from Krusty’s pocket... Little Krusty!” Krusty pulled out from hammer space, a midget clown with Krusty’s green hair, a big red shiny nose and holding two guns he fired off because he was a midget clown with guns...

”Omg! A Krusty Clownja!” Oscar yelled.

”No! This is not a Clownja!” Krusty explained holding Little Krusty. Clownjas are a race of midget, kid sized clowns with big red shiny nose. And sometimes noses of other colours.

Then there was a Rapping Egyptian mummy. “Notorious TUT.”

An Egyptian mummy wearing gold chains and a baseball cap appeared.

Oscar screamed with laughter.

”Oscar it’s not that funny, you don’t have to scream with laughter...” Bart groaned covering his ears.

And something called Boardwalk Vampire.

Oscar laughed. “Vampires...”

Bart sighed.

In fact in canon the retro comeback was supposed to be like Peewee’s playhouse. A Stage set designed like a colourful sappy kid’s show but for adults.

”So they are expecting F bombs when I can only give them Cacas and Poo poos?” said Krusty.

Oscar inhaled deeply to swear the F bomb loudly but Hugo quickly hand gagged him. “Fmmmmmphlphmmmmph!”


Bart was flustered by the company of three boys that looked almost exactly like him.

”You look like a geeky version of me...” said Bart to Simon Woosterfield.

”Well you look like a stupid and uncouth version of me...” Simon replied.

”Well you’re me but rich.” said Bart to Alvin Woosterfield.

”And you’re me but poorer.” said Alvin.

”And you’re me but shy and nervous.” said Bart to Theodore Woosterfield.

Theodore nodded and stuttered.

They were being spied on by Devin and Quenly.

”Look at those twerps continuing the episode without us!” Quenly said sharply.

”Oh I’m the Meowth, the talking comedic sidekick.” said Paul Lynde dressed as the Easter bunny.

”Oh do shut up!” Devin snapped.

Oscar was adding more ridiculous characters to Krusty’s Retro Comeback.

”A French candelabra with an outrageous accent...”

”Honhonhonhon! Zis cheese, she smells so bad!” Oscar really wanted a Lumiere to go with Tick Tock.

”The Rapping Rabbis.” More silly rappers.

”Mr T.”

”I pity the fool!”

”And Hoju the homosexual Jew...” said Oscar.

”No, no and no! This show is silly enough already!” said Krusty.

Oscar pouted.

The Peewee’s Playhouse style reboot aimed at adults was a huge success.

”This makes me feel 10 again.” said an audience member.

Homer went to Moe’s that evening because there is a distinct lack of Moe in this episode. While there, there was a young blue haired man depressed.

”What’s up with gloomy over there...” Homer asked.

”Oh that’s Eric. He moved to Mexico and won the lottery but that bastard Mr Burns conned him out of his lottery winnings.” said Moe.

Eric told his story. How he was born to a deadbeat dad and a depressed, over worked mom. He went to Mexico and won the lottery but lost his winnings to Mr Burns. “I feel like ending it all.”

”Don’t do that Eric. You have so much to live for! And I’m sure your family would be heart broken if you killed your self!” Homer explained.

”Yeah I suppose they would. Thanks uh...” said Eric.

”Homer.” Homer explained.

”Thanks Homer. For listening.” said Eric.

”Let’s be friends... I like the name Eric...” said Homer feeling a sense of comfort.

”Um... you seem nice Homer but you remind me a lot of my father. In fact you look exactly like him...” Eric had a photo of Homer for some reason.

Homer screamed. “Aaaaagh! Hold on... what is your full name Eric?”

“Eric Simpson. Why?” the man asked.

”Oh my god! You’re my youngest son Eric having time travelled back from the present to warn me about something!” said Homer.

”Actually Dad, I’m your youngest son from the future from Alvinluvr’s Eric and Homer episodes. Apparently we open a pickle factory together!”

”Mmmmmmmm... pickles...” Homer moaned joyfully and drooled.

”Hey this seems oddly familiar.” said Carl.

”Yeah like when Trunks from the future arrived. And they had scenes where he met Kid Trunks!” said Moe.

Future Trunks and Kid Trunks sweat dropped.

”That gives me another idea! Scenes with Future Eric and present Eric!” said Oscar. “Oh oh oh! How about Young Homer and Young Frank Grimes where Homer has been age regressed by Prince Pilaf!”

”Uh no....” said Homer.

Kid Goku winced. “I don’t think Akira ever explained how Chi Chi possibly reacted to me being a kid again....”

Devan and Quenly returned looking very bruised and with tattered clothes and murderous looks on their faces but one of Oscar’s colourful and silly monsters bucked them into the sky as it was a huge rhino like creature and Teddy fired a care bear stare laser at them. Obliterating them.


Joan Rivers pepped Krusty up. While smoking a cigarette using her throat stoma, not her mouth.

”You’d think that would be a stark warning to us, but eh...” said Patty. Patty and Selma were there for some reason.

“You're not licked, Krusty. People love a comeback.” said Joan Rivers. “Look at Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke.”

We cut to Robert Downey Jr snorting coke and injecting himself.

“Uh... Maybe not Robert Downey Jr....” said Oscar.

”Oz enough! He’s clean now!” Bart ranted.

“I don't know if I got it in me.” said Krusty

“Well, people also love a quitter-- Sarah Palin, The Beatles...” said Joan Rivers.

”Hey the Beatles were incredibly successful!” said Oscar. “Until John Lennon married Yoko...”

Meanwhile Dudley Puppy from TUFF Puppy needed to borrow Justin Timberwolf.

”Okay but in return you have to babysit me for a week and sniff my diaper!” Oscar wanted to be sniffed by Dudley and his big wet shiny black nose.

”Um... okay...” said Dudley. He picked up Baby Oscar and sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose.

Bart winced.

Baby Oscar gurgled as Dudley sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose until he grunted as he wet his diaper.