Simpsons Fanon

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming Sideshow Bob orders the town to shutdown television completely or he will detonate a nuclear warhead!


Bart and Lisa are watching the Krusty the Clown show where he is once again humiliating Sideshow Mel.

Krusty is thanking the kids for donations of canned beans and other groceries.

“Thanks for all the cans of beans and over groceries you donated kids.” said Krusty. Everyone thinks this was for a good cause like giving the food to the poor. But...

“For our slipperiest, slimiest fun slide!” said Krusty. There was an obstacle course with a giant Krusty head with stuff oozing out of his nose. Eeeew!

“Our contestants, represented by Mel, will slide out of the nose into a pool of refried beans along a path slicked with oil and stumble along a slice covered in eggy bearnaise sauce. How can we afford it? It’s rancid! And then into a kiddie pool of pickled onions and vinegar while they blindly hunt to collect as many hotdogs as possible!” said Krusty.

Mel falls out of the giant Krusty’s nose into the refried beans.

“Sideshow Mel’s a Booger!” said Oscar.

Bart laughed hysterically. “A booger! Good one Oz!”

“Quiet you two! I want to see what happens...” said Homer.

“My eyes! It burns!” said Sideshow Mel.

“(Laughter) Just think that’s Sideshow Mel swimming in our pickled onions and vinegar we donated!” Bart laughed.

“I don’t know about this Sideshow Mel... What happened to Sideshow Bob?” Homer asked.

“Weren’t you paying attention? He framed Krusty for armed robbery. He tried to kill Aunt Selma... He rigged an election!” Lisa explained.

“And he tried to kill me!” said Bart. We see flashbacks of previous Sideshow Bob episodes.

“I’ll always remember him for the laughs...” said Homer.

“I wonder what he’s up to now...” said Lisa.


Meanwhile inmates at Springfield Penitentiary are also watching the Krusty the Clown show. Their loud laughter disturbs Sideshow Bob from his work making a miniature Westminster Abbey in a bottle.

“Ah Westminster Abbey. Edward the confessor himself could not have done better.” said Sideshow Bob.


We cut to the eleventh century AD in England. Edward the confessor is in the royal court among his subjects.

“People! I have yet another confession! William the conqueror I’m afraid you can’t be my heir because I already made Harold my heir!” said Edward the Confessor.

William the conqueror was furious and stormed off.

“Wow that guys so mad he could put that Harold’s eye out!” said a person in the royal court.


However Sideshow Bob is disturbed from his peaceful activity by some inmates in nearby cells watching TV loudly and laughing at the Krusty the clown show.

Krusty was singing “this is the way we mop the floor! Mop the floor! Mop the floor! This is the way we mop the floor!” Presumably while tormenting Sideshow Mel again.

Bob rants about what they're watching on TV only for one of the inmates to remind him he used to be on the show. Sideshow Bob then continues his tirade against TV until Rupert Murdock as a guest warden tells him off.

Things get worse for Bob as he can't find his lip balm until another prisoner gives it back, implying he has used it. Then all the prisoners are sent to bed early, Sideshow Bob points out the warden gets to stay up an hour later.

"Now, Bob, I've spoke with the warden and that's just not true..." A guard explained to him that night.


An air festival is on and everyone in town goes. However, prisoners from Springfield Penitentiary are brought along to do clean up duty.

The Simpsons arrive at the air show.

“I wanna see the first female bomber pilot who fought in the gulf war!” said Lisa. “She blew up seventy mosques! And her name was Lisa too!” Mmmmm! Controversy...

“Lisa!” Bart yelled angry. “That’s really offensive and you’re encouraging Oscar’s far right tendencies again!”

“Coooool! Amen Sister! Die, evil terrorists! Die!” Oscar pretended he was piloting a fighter jet.

Bart glared at Lisa.

“I’m sorry!” Lisa replied agitated. “Well what do you want to do Bart?”

“I want to watch birds get sucked into the fighter jet engines and get shredded! Especially endangered ones!” said Bart laughing evilly.

“Bart!” Lisa yelled. “How is that better than what I said?!”

“Because I am talking about birds dying, not people...” said Bart.

“People that deserve to die!” Oscar ranted.

“Oh cram it, Hitler...” Bart groaned.

Milhouse is riding a jet while making gun noises. "Take that, mom! Take that, Dad! Make me see a psychiatrist will ya?! Take that Doctor Goodhead!" Milhouse activated the ejector seat and went flying! Wheeeeeee!

“Now sonny, you leave Dr Goodhead out of this!” said James Bond pronouncing his S’s as Sh sounds. He had Dr Goodhead in his arms romantically.


Sideshow escapes and over hears the colonel in charge of the festival talking to a private.

“I will tear you apart like a box of Kleenex at a snot party!” shouted the colonel.

“Eeeeeew!” Sideshow Bob groaned.

Some cops were wandering where two prisoners had got to.

“Uh chief we’re missing two inmates! Where is Sideshow Bob and uh... that guy who eats people and takes their faces?” Lou asked Wiggum.

“Here chief!” said a cannibal who likes to eat people and take their faces. He was eating someone’s arm he had ripped off of them.

“Ah there you are Face taking Fred.” said Chief Wiggum. “But that means Sideshow Bob has gone AWOL. I’ll just say I had him beaten to death...”

“Um face taking cannibal dude...” Bart narrated scared.


We cut back to the Simpsons.

“I’ve made earplugs out of cookies this year!” said Marge.

“Mom, that idea is ridiculous! Why would anyone want to eat something that’s been in their ears...” said Bart.

Oscar was picking and eating his earwax.

“Or put cookie in their ears...” Lisa sighed.

Sideshow Bob uses a never before seen skill of mimicking people to trick the colonel into a portaloo and locks him in. Then he mimics the colonel to get into the warehouse.

"But sir you gave me strict instructions-" said a private in the hangar.

"By Enola Gay! Let me in private or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at (Bob is disgusted) snot party..."

The private lets him in.

The colonel escapes and reassures the show from one of his lieutenants. However the Tyrannovision screen cuts out. When the signal comes back Sideshow Bob is on, having hijacked the signal.

The sideshow Bob theme plays.

“Good afternoon Springfield...” said Sideshow Bob.

"Aaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!" Bart and Lisa scream.

"What is he doing on Tyranno-vision?" Oscar demanded.

Sideshow Bob announces his latest evil plan. To shut down television completely as it has made everyone loud, obnoxious and stupid. If the networks won't accept his demands, he will detonate a nuclear bomb, killing millions.

“My demands are quite simple. I have here a nuclear boob. Shut off television completely or I will detonate it. Killing millions... you have twenty four hours to comply... Goodbye.” As Bob spoke his voice got squeakier and squeakier.

Oscar snickered at Bob's squeaky voice.

"What are you laughing at?" Bob demanded

Everyone screams and evacuates the Airfield. However Lisa and Bart get separated and locked in. Lisa was going after Bart because he ran off.

“Cooool! I wanna stick around for the fighting!” Bart runs off.

“Bart, no!” Lisa ran back to get him. "Wait, where's Oscar?"

They were shut in.

“My babies!” Marge cried. The soldiers would not let her in.

“Has anyone seen my dad...?” Homer groaned.

Soldiers look for Bob. They find Grandpa Abe in a toilet cubicle.

“This elevator only goes to the basement...” said Abe.

On route to find Bart. Lisa also finds him.

"Grampa? You're in here?" Lisa asked.

"Lisa! I'm trying to go to toilet here! Shut the door!" Grampa yells. She quickly shuts it.

"Eeeew!" Lisa groaned.


Lisa and Grampa soon find Bart in the colonel's office wearing his hat and making plane noises while playing with a model plane.

"Bart! We've got to get out of here! Sideshow Bob is going to set off a bomb!"

"Lis, even if we do get out of here. If Sideshow Bob doesn't get his way, or even if he does. The entire town will be caught in the blast. We're screwed either way." Bart retorts.

"Of course! Then we have to stop him!" Lisa gasps. "I know where he is!"

"Where?" Bart asked.

"What gas makes your voice funny?" Lisa asked. Bart shrugged. "Helium! He's in a blimp!" Bart and Grampa follow her to the warehouse.

"Oh! My joints!" Grampa groans in pain as he hobbled after them.


Meanwhile Quimby and the representatives of Television, including Tom Baker! agree to surrender to Sideshow Bob's demands and shut down television forever.


Bart, Lisa and Grampa find the warehouse, but can't get in.

"There's a call box! We need clearance!" Lisa yells.

"Stand aside! This is a job for Sgt Abe Simpson!" Grampa calls into the call box. The soldier manning it answers.

"Who's this?" The soldier asks.

"This is Sgt Abraham Simpson! Reporting for duty! Open up at once!"

"Yes sir!" The warehouse opens.

"Coooool!" Bart cooes as they run in. They get into the blimp and find Sideshow Bob ranting still and complaining about the helium.

“Yes! Finally! Victory is mine! Blast this stupid helium!” Sideshow Bob in a squeaky voice.

"Sideshow Bob!" Bart and Lisa yell.

"Simpsons!" Sideshow Bob yells back.

"Now you listen here, you crazy haired youth! Dagnabbit! Why do I sound like Donald Duck?!" Abe scolded Sideshow Bob but the helium raised the pitch of his voice.

"You're too late! I have already won! Television will no longer rot the minds of you halfwitted Americans!" Sideshow Bob gloats. However someone else hacks the TV signal.

"Hey hey! It's the Krusty the Clown show! From inside this shed! And I'm the only TV show left kids!" Krusty announces while laughing his trademark laugh. “Now I couldn’t bring Itchy and Scratchy so here’s my new show! Stingy and battery!” Krusty had a car battery and a scorpion. “They zap! They sting! They zap, they zap they sting...” he sings the Itchy and Scratchy show theme song.

"No! You heinous harlequin! Now everyone must die because of you!" Sideshow Bob prepares to detonate his bomb.

"Noooooooo!" Bart and Lisa scream.

"Too late! See you Hell, Bart Simpson!" Sideshow Bob detonates the bomb. There is a freeze frame of everything everyone is currently doing throughout Springfield. Such as Ralph playing with a butterfly, Todd praying etc. However the bomb just fizzles out. "What?! No!"

"Bart! Look at the bomb!" Lisa yelled. It read. "Use by 1965"

"Looks like your bomb expired, Bob!" Bart grinned.

"Why did I go for the most authentic?!" Sideshow Bob yelled.

"Well, we best be going, Bob, otherwise we'll suffocate in here!" Bart goes to leave.

"Not so fast! I'm not finished yet!" Sideshow Bob pulls out a gun and takes Bart hostage.

"No! Stop! Let me go!" Bart yelled.

"Bart!" Lisa yells as Sideshow Bob cuts a hole in the blimp and takes Bart with him to the Wright Brothers' plane. They fly off.

"Come on Grampa!" Lisa yelled. They run after the plane.


Homer smashes down the barrier of the airbase with his car.

"Mom! Dad!" Lisa calls as she runs towards them.

"Lisa!" Marge cyelks.

"Mom! Dad! Help!" Bart yells as the Wrights Brothers' plane flies over.

"My baby!" Marge gasped.

"Bart! Jump!" Homer yells.

Bart throws his backpack. But it gets run over by a tank. As everyone drives after the wooden plane.

"Now what was the point in that...?" Sideshow Bob signed as he holds Bart tighter to prevent him escaping.


They then fly over Akali Flats, a desert.

“Akali Flats! I’ve been here before! My Dad abandoned me here when I was just a baby.” said Bart.

In a flashback young Homer abandoned Baby Bart, who was just wearing a blue t shirt and a diaper in the desert. Bart toddled off and Homer got in his pink car and drove off.

Krusty comes out of his shed.

"Krusty!" Bart cheers.

"Diiiiiieeee, Krusty!" Sideshow Bob tries to fly the plane at him.

Krusty screams and hides in the shed, however the plane is so flimsy it falls apart when it bumps the shed. Bart and Bob fall over amongst the scattered parts of the plane. They are soon surrounded by police cars and tanks.

"Gotcha! You TV-hating mutant!" Chief Wiggum grinned, as he apprehended Bob. He is promptly arrested again.

"Curse you Bart! Curse you Krusty!" Sideshow Bob yells as he's taken away.

"Now what? We have no TV!" Bart explained to Krusty.

"Oh, I can have a quick word with the representatives of television..." Krusty explained.


Soon TV was back to normal and the news did a special program featuring every TV Star ever celebrating TVs return.

"TV don't ever leave us again!" Homer cried as he and the kids hugged the TV.

"Stop hugging the TV..." Marge sighed.