She of Little Faith After Bart's rocket accidentally destroys the church and Mr Burns' and Lindsey Naegel's commercialized attempts to rebuild it angers Lisa that she leaves the Christian religion and becomes a Buddhist. Starting a long chain of the Simpsons leaving church much to Marge's annoyance.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Chalkboard gag: I do not have a cereal named after me.

.......

One afternoon Bart, Hugo, Oscar and Lisa were watching a stupid old sci fi program.

”And now we return to The Planet From Outer Space...”

“Captain were being attacked by some sort of force ray!” A crew member in a shoddy set that’s supposed to be the inside of a spaceship yelled to his captain.

Crew members are choking as a giant hologram of Darth Vader appeared. “You have all failed me for the last time!“

The ship shook violently from space turbulence or the gravitational pull of a nearby star or planet.

A man was choking. “Space air! Is flooding in!” He gasped clutching his throat.

”That is stupid! There is no air in outer space!” Hugo ranted.

”Shhhhhhh!” Bart hushed him.

”Put on your breathing goggles men!” said the captain. The surviving crew members put on goggles and breathed normally.

”How does that make sense?! You don’t breath through your eyes!!” Hugo yelled.

”Hugo! Shhhhh!” said Bart.

”Oh god a terrible space monster is attacking us!” The captain yelled.

The studio lowered a dog wearing a fish bowl on its head on a pulley onto a space backdrop. The dog barked.

”That’s just a dog!” Lisa sighed.

”By the looks of things... a male dog...” said Bart.

There was an interrupting commercial.

A military guy was advertising mini space rockets to launch into space. Bart strangely wanted such a geeky toy.

”Geek!” Nelson ran in and punched him.

”Ow! Okay I don’t want that rocket...” Bart groaned.

Bart and Homer were in the garden one day when they saw a tiny rocket shoot off from the Flanders house. Ned and the boys were in their yard watching the rocket successfully land back in its box and pack itself away.

"Stupid Flanders! Come on boy, we'll build our own rocket!" Homer grumbled.

”Dad... rocket building kits are for geeks... I have no idea why in canon I want a mini Orbit King Rocket.

Inside watching Tv.

”Lis, is Dad’s credit card number 5555677867567778?” Hugo asked on the living room phone.

”Yes, but none of us should know that...” said Lisa.

”One Orbit King rocket kit please...Yes I would like to order something else. A couple of trout steaks please.” said Hugo.

Homer was flossing his teeth in the bathroom the next morning.

”If there’s meat... you must floss it! Lalalala... you must floss it! Floss it! Yeah!” He sung while flossing his teeth.

”Daaaaaad...,” Hugo asked.

”Yes my horrible little monster face I have to look after properly now...” Homer sighed.

”Dad I have a name... Look can we build a model rocket and launch it?” Hugo asked.

”No! Because that would be incredibly geeky and lame! And why would I want to do anything with you, Freak?!” said Homer yelling.

”Dad wanna build an incredibly lame rocket?” Bart asked.

”Oh sure! Come on Boy I’ll get the glue!” said Homer running downstairs with Bart.

Hugo cried and sobbed.

............

Milhouse came round to observe the rocket as Homer messily glued it together.

”Woooooow....” I didn’t know your dad was interested in science...” said Milhouse.

”Science?!” Homer gasped in horror.

”No no no! Milhouse said pie pants...” said Bart.

”Mmmmmmmmm! Pie pants....” said Homer thinking about food.

(Clownja chattering)

”Clownja said that would be a terrible waste of home made pies.” said Oscar.

They set up a miniature rocket and built it. However each attempt ended in an explosion.

"Where's my eyebrows?!" Milhouse gasped as the blast blew off his eyebrows.

"Over here, governor!" said Bart in a silly accent as he had Milhouse's eyebrows stuck to his cheeks like sideburns.

Oscar leapt on him and angrily throttled him. “Stop mocking my country!”

......

Homer's friends from college then arrived. They helped build a high tech rocket.

Bart then arrived with the pilot. The family hamster in a box. He was saying goodbye to his wife.

"Oh he's leaving her with five babies!" Marge gasped.

"She ate three of them." Bart explained.

"Well that's sensible, I guess." said Marge.

"Aaaaaaaagh! Hamster cannibalism!" Oscar screamed.

........

They put the hamster in the pilot's seat and launched the rocket.

However something went wrong with the rocket.

"We're losing control of the rocket!" Bart yelled.

Homer took out a walkie talkie. "Homer to Nibbles. Homer to Nibbles! Pull the blue lever!"

However Nibbles was panicking. He saw the red eject button and pushed it. He was ejected in a little ejection seat.

"He ejected himself!" Bart gasped.

"We're screwed..." Homer sighed. The out of control rocket flew into the church causing catastrophic damage.

"Woohoo! Go little rocket!" Homer and Oscar cheered.

...

However the town went to observe the damage from the rocket.

"Homer! Look what you've done!" Marge nagged. The church was heavily damaged.

"Oh come on! Now I can live my life long dream!" answered Bart before running off home.

"Don't ask." Oscar cut in.

...

Marge and the church brigade. (Ned and the Lovejoys) held a meeting to restore the church.

"But where will we get the money?" Ned asked.

Suddenly a demonic figure arrived.

However it was just Mr Burns with messy hair! He brushed the two tufts down that resembled horns. He offered to pay to rebuild the church.

"But why?" Tim asked.

"I'll answer this Monty." said Lindsey Naegle. She explained the church was good for town business.

However during the building process Lindsey made some, erm unholy changes... she installed massage chairs for pews and carnival esque activities and guest sermons.

Tim didn't see much choice as there was no one else rich in town otherwise.

...

The church was ready in time for the following weekend. Much to Bart's annoyance.

However Lisa was appalled by the jazzed up church.

"Why does Jesus have a lasso?!"

"Because he's hauling us all back in!" Homer joked. "And don't worry, Hugo is at home with rats to keep him company and he has enough fish heads to eat!"

As soon as the got in Bart saw something cool, a pier silly photos panel that you stick your head through the holes to have funny pictures taken.

Lisa was horrified.

Bart stuck his head through the hole where Jesus's face should be. "Look Mom! Bleeeeh!" He pulled various silly faces and made noises as the camera crew took photos.

"Take a nice one for grandma." said Marge.

"Fine..." Bart sighed. He smiled for the camera.

Lisa growled, enraged by this blasphemy.

They sat down in the massage chairs.

"Oooooh! A make your own taco stand!" Homer saw a make your own taco stand.

"Grrrrr! I will not be taken in by this heresy!" Lisa ranted.

"Lisa you're on God Cam!" Marge whispered.

Lisa saw she was on a novelty sports arena cam. She pouted and everyone cooed at the suitable caption chosen for her.

Then Tim advertised things before introducing the guest speaker. The Noid...

Before he could even speak, Lisa interrupted. "That's it!!" He gasped at her yelling and spilt his papers.

"Lisa...!" Marge was mortified.

"These new things have ruined the church!" Lisa yelled.

"On the contrary Lisa. They've decorated it..." said the reverend.

"Like the whore of Babylon?!" Lisa retorted.

Everyone gasped.

"Lisa said a bad word!" Bart yelled.

"Quiet boy." Homer replied.

"That is a salacious remark!" Lovejoy yelled.

"No it's not! It's apt! Apt!" Lisa yelled.

More patrons gasped.

"And I for one refuse to be part of it!" Lisa stormed off.

"Stamp your hand so you can get back in?" Squeaky voiced teen asked.

"No! I never want to set foot in this church ever again!" Lisa stormed out.

"Oh no!" Marge gasped.

"How should I feel?" Homer asked.

"You should be horrified!" said Marge.

Homer screamed in pain.

"A little bit less over the top..." said Marge.

"Oooooh... ahhhhh!" Homer screamed quietly.

...

Lisa let herself in the house and stormed off upstairs and kicked her shoes off.

"Ugh! Of all days even Oscar went today!" Lisa muttered that she didn't even have him to talk to.

...

At church shortly after Lisa stormed out.

"Hey look! Adam West is fighting with the Noid!" said Oscar. Shortly after Lisa stormed out Adam West got on the stage and started beating up the Noid. He slammed his head on the alter and then slammed him into a wall.

"Mr West no!" Lovejoy yelled.

Adam West then killed the Noid by snapping his neck.

"Cooooool!" Bart cheered.

"Perhaps it was the Noid that should have avoided me..." said Adam West as he took out a pizza in its box and ate a sclice.

...

At Home Marge tried to have words with Lisa by eavesdropping on her prayers to God.

“Dear Lord, I am very sorry for storming out of your church today, but if only you could see What Mr Burns, Lindsey Naegle and Lovejoy have done to it!” Lisa asked God.

“Why do you have to make such a deal about everything? Always questioning?” Marge said in a spooky voice pretending to be God.

"Mom! Are you eavesdropping on my prayers?!" Lisa gasped.

"Sorry honey but it's just something I've got used to. To stop your brother from asking God to kill people..."

Meanwhile in Bart's room.

"And please kill Sideshow Bob. And this time properly! Amen." Bart was praying.

Plot 2[edit | edit source]

Back in Lisa's.

"I'm just concerned for your soul..." said Marge. There was a sudden thunderstorm. "Oooooh!" Marge knew that meant she wasn't paying attention to Bart's prayers.

"I'm not giving up on my faith. I just think there's another way to reach him. Or her." said Lisa.

Marge gasped and hugged Lisa.

"She's just kidding Mr Lord!" Marge said to God.

Bart then walked past and had an idea for a prank.

...

One morning at breakfast Bart threw a waffle up at the ceiling. It stuck there.

Homer was reading his bills, his reaction meant they were very high.

"Why do you mock me Lord!" Homer screamed at the waffle.

"Homer! That's not God that's just a waffle Bart stuck up there."

"Like Hell it is!" Boomed a deep voice. Marge gasped.

"God?" Marge asked.

"Yes it's me. Now do me a favour!" said God apparently.

However it was actually Bart in his room playing with his karaoke machine to hijack the radios in the house.

"What is it Mr Lord?" Marge asked.

"Stop going to my church every weekend! It's annoying! I can't stand you mortals yakking! And make Lisa eat meat!"

"That doesn't sound like something God would say..." Marge was sceptical.

"You dare question me?!" said the voice.

Marge went upstairs.

"Where are you going?!" asked the voice.

"God?" Homer asked the waffle.

"Yes..." Bart as God replied.

"Can I eat you?" Homer asked.

"Do that and you're damned for all eternity." said Bart as God.

Marge soon found out Bart was behind the prank.

"Bart!" Marge yelled.

"Ah!" Bart yelped.

"What have we said about pranking with that?!" Marge scolded him.

"Don't. Not after that time I got stuck down a well..." Bart replied.

"Mmmmm! Sacrilicious..." came Homer's voice.

Meanwhile Jacqueline Bouvier got her Grandson's photos.

"Oh! What an angel!" Grandma Bouvier was proud of Bart's nice photo. Patty and Selma doted over the photograph.

“He’s so sweet!” said Selma.

“Marge said he was pulling faces in the other ones and didn’t think we’d want to see those.“ said Patty.

Jacqueline sighed.

...

Later in her room Lisa was researching a new religion. Bart came in interested.

"How about Judaism? When you hit fifteen, you're a man!" said Bart.

"That's when you're thirteen." Hugo corrected him.

“For a girl it’s fifteen.” said Bart.

”Uh bro... there’s all kinda things wrong with what you just said...” said Hugo.

"No! I'm not just gonna pick a religion just because it's cool! I'm picking one that's right for me!" said Lisa.

"How about one where you can eat a human heart?" Bart suggested.

“Kali ma shakti de! Kali ma! Kali maaaa!” Oscar chanted pretending to pull out Bart’s heart.

"Ewww! No!" Lisa yelled.

How about Voodoo!” Bart asked laughing maniacally.

“No!” said Lisa,

"How about Methodism?" Bart asked.

"No!" Lisa yelled.

”How about Scientology?” Oscar asked.

Bart growled and seized him by his neck and throttled him.

”Eeeeeckkkk! You... can... silence.... me! Ack! But... you... can’t... silence.... the Eccccccck!... truth!” Oscar gasped while being strangled.

”No Oz...” said Lisa.

"You're boring..." Bart left her to her own devices.

........

Lisa went out that evening. She passed a Buddhist temple.

Inside was a middle aged man (Richard Gere) and Carl and Lenny. They were meditating.

"Mr Carl?! I didn't know you were a Buddhist!" Lisa gasped.

"Oh, well I am. If I didn't meditate ever so often I'd be going psycho on you all, all the time!" Carl explained.

Richard Gere arrived.

”Oh my goodness! Richard Gere! The most famous Buddhist!” said Lenny.

”What about the Dalai Lama?” Richard Gere asked.

”Who?” Lenny asked.

”The 14th reincarnation of the Buddha?” Richard Gere asked.

”Who’s the Buddha?” Lenny asked.

"Lisa, Buddhism teaches freedom from desire. Which is good because I have a desire to kick your asses!" said the man sweeping the sand.

Lisa gasped.

"Sorry. It's just these two have been driving me nuts ever since they joined. They just don't get inner peace..." said Richard Gere.

"Who likes short shorts?" Lenny asked in meditation.

"I like short shorts..." Carl replied.

Lisa sighed.

Richard discussed Buddhism further and gave Lisa a leaflet.

”Does Buddhism really teach finding inner peace or is that just a pipe dream?” Lisa asked.

”We all have dreams Lisa. Mine is a free Tibet...” said Richard Gere.

”Mine too. That would be wonderful...” said Lisa.

”Mine is all you can eat meatball sub sandwiches.” said Carl.

Richard Gere sighed.

...

Lisa did some research on her computer about Buddhism. She was intrigued.

"I'm a Buddhist!" she yelled.

The Flanders heard her.

"My Satan sense is tingling! To the panic room boys!" said Ned.

"For how long Daddy?" Rod asked.

"I don't know, probably for ever." said Ned.

"Yaaaaaaay!" The boys cheered.

...

The following morning.

Lisa announced she was a Buddhist. Everyone gasped.

"You know Lisa. Buddhists don't get treats in their lunch boxes.

"A Buddhist wouldn't want any." Lisa replied.

Marge made an annoyed groan.

"Marge! Are you blackmailing your daughter over her religion?!" Oscar was offended.

"What am I supposed to do?! She's turned her back on the church! The Simpsons and the bouviers have been Christians for generations!" Marge replied.

"So it's not just a crush on Ned..." Oscar replied.

"No it's not..." Marge replied in a huff.

"So you think you know better than this family?! When you live under this roof you abide my rules!" said Homer. "Speaking of which. Boy butter up that bacon!"

"Yes Sir." Bart buttered up his bacon before eating it. He was in pain.

"That's it! I'm outta here! Go to your blasphemous church!" Lisa yelled and stormed out.

Everyone was speechless.

"What did I say?" Homer asked. Then he started picking on Bart again.

"Bacon up that sausage!"

"But Dad! My heart hurts!" Bart whined.

"Homer! Stop trying to give him a heart attack!" Marge yelled. "Sweetie I'll make you some cereal if you want." she said to Bart. Then she started yelling at Homer again. "It's Lisa you're supposed to be mad at!"

"No he's not! I'm leaving this tyrannical fortress until you two learn to accept Lisa's right to her own faith!" Oscar yelled before storming off.

"This family is falling apart..." said Hugo, stuffing his face with fish heads.

...

Lisa headed to the Buddhist temple.

"Lisa wait up!" said Oscar.

"Oscar?" Lisa asked.

"I want to join too.” Lisa gave him a funny look. "No, I'm serious. Any religion that's not based on worshipping an angry god that's already mad at me has got to be the right faith. Plus your mom is driving me nuts picking on you."

"Oh thanks Oscar!" Lisa hugged him. He blushed.

They went inside and meditated.

”Um where are the bald monks in orange robes and sandals and the Zen garden?” Oscar asked.

”Oz not every Buddhist resembles a bald Buddhist monk-“ Lisa exasperated explained. But Richard Gere rang a gong and lots of bald monks in orange robes and sandals cane in and sat and meditated. “Nevermind... there’s your monks...”

”Coooool!” said Oscar. “Now I want a fat laughing Buddha.”

”OzM don’t body shame the Buddha!” Lisa whined. “And those laughing Buddha statues are-“

But suddenly a morbidly obese and chuckling Buddha lumbered in wearing an Asian lion cloth thing and sat down and chuckled heartedly. “Ah hehehehe! GahahHahaha! Oh hohohohoho!”

”Buddha what’s so funny...” Lisa sighed.

”I don’t know! But oh! Oh hohohohoho! Stop! A hahahahaha! (Hysterical laughter.)” said the Buddha.

”And two giant stone Thai Buddhas looking completely content in deep meditation,” said Oscar. He got two giant stone Thai Buddha statues with acorn hats to erupt from the ground to decorate the temple.

Lisa sweat dropped.

...

At school Bart got picked on for his sister being a Buddhist.

"So?" Bart asked Jimbo's gang.

"So?! It's about a guy with long hair, wears white." said Jimbo.

"Has a lot of crazy theories." said Dolph.

"Basically he gets us free beer." said Kerney.

"And he's dating my mom." said Jimbo.

"I thought Kerney was dating your mom?" said Bart.

The bullies turn on Kerney.

"Whoa! She came on to me!" Kerne tried to explain. Jimbo and Dolph started beating him up. Bart joined in.

"Hey! I secretly liked you, dork!" Kerney groaned.

...

At church Lovejoy was denouncing Lisa’s satanic path to a new faith. Because he is a dick.

“And next on our agenda is Lisa Simpson the devil daughter.

”My daughter is not a devil!! She just is going through a phase...” said Marge.

”We’ll she better get out of it then Marge...” said Lovejoy.

...

At Home Lisa planted a Bonsai tree in the garden.

”Sweetie what is that?” Marge asked.

”A bonsai tree to meditate under.” said Lisa.

”You’re not removing it, or I’ll set you on fire again...” Oscar threatened evilly.

”Oz...” Lisa sighed.

”Lisa is this about a boy at school?” Marge asked.

”No. it’s about your church tarting itself up like a diamond ditzy bimbo.” said Lisa.

”Mmmmmmmm! You’re having a bath tonight! Missy!” Marge snapped and walked off.

Plot 3[edit | edit source]

Soon Christmas arrived.

Lisa had put a glass box over the bonsai tree to protect it from the cold weather.

”Demon!” Ned screamed pointing a cross at her.

”Drop dead Flanders!” Oscar yelled trying to meditate in the snow.

”Oscar!” Marge yelled. “I’m sorry Ned those two are being really stubborn...”

”No we’re not! You are! All Lisa wants is acceptance for her faith!” Oscar snapped.

”Thanks Oz.” said Lisa cracking a smile as she meditated.

”Well Marge, The jolly Saint Nick doesn’t put Christmas presents under a bonsai tree...” said Ned.

Homer came out with a Christmas angel.

”Lisa, I think that bonsai tree could use a festive decoration... like a Christmas angel...” Homer asked.

”Okay Dad. As long as it’s tasteful,” said Lisa.

Homer put a Christmas angel on the bonsai tree and switched it on. It barked in Homer’s voice doing a silly impression of a dog barking to Jingle Bells, Jingle All The Way.

Lisa sighed exasperated by the silly barking angel.

Oscar screamed with hysterical laughter. “Nyahahahaha! Ah hahahahaha! Stop you’re killing me! Ah hahahahaha!”

...

One Christmas holiday morning.

"Lisa. I made you these vegan Christmas tree cookies." said Marge.

"No thanks. I'm a Buddhist now." said Lisa.

Marge sighed and threw them in the bin.

"Ooooooh! Garbage cookies!" Homer gasped with joy and began eating cookies from the bin.

"Dad! Yeeeeuck!" Bart yelled in disgust.

Homer then fed Hugo the remaining cookies from the bin.

Hugo gratefully ate the cookies from the bin.

”Ack! I swallowed a dog food lid!” Hugo groaned.

..........

Flanders sighed at Lisa’s continued blasphemy. To cheer himself and the boys up he made Astro lemonade or Space lemonade!

”Mmmmmmmmm! Astronomical...” said Homer visiting because Marge was worried for Lisa.

The family and Ned’s tried various things to get Lisa to celebrate Christmas.

“I even got my college nerds to sing Christmas carols.” said Homer.

”Homer can you stop calling us nerds?” Gary sighed.

”Dweeb, wonk, spaz. It’s all good...” said Homer. Oh dear... he triggered Oscar.

”What the fuck was that last word you just said?!” Oscar yelled.

”Oscar! Language!” Marge scolded him.

”Blah blah Blah Marge... Come on fatso! Out with it! What did you just say after Dweeb and wonk?!” Oscar snapped.

”I said Spaz. You got a problem with that?” Homer asked.

”YES I FUCKING DO!! DON’T EVER USE THAT WORD!! IT IS OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE WITH BEHAVIOURAL AND LEARNING DISABILITIES LIKE MYSELF!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, ASSHOLE?!” Oscar screamed angrily.

”Thanks Dad... now Oscar is mad... he needs some sincerity and calmness...” Lisa told Dad off for being offensive.

...

Lisa took Oscar to Richard Gere’s temple to calm down and meditate. Soon he was back to his silly self asking dumb questions.

”Who’s the Dalia Lama?” He asked.

”The 14th reincarnation of the Buddha Arya Avelokitesvara.” said Richard Gere.

”Uh... I think you might be confusing the Buddha with the Avatar from Avatar the Last Airbender...” said Oscar.

Aang who was meditating winced at Oscar.

”Grrrr! It’s a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire! Because I have the desire to kick your ass!” snarled Richard Gere.

Oscar screamed and fled.

...

At the Simpsons Lisa and Oscar were meditating by the Bonsai tree.

”Lisa is this about a boy at school?” Marge asked again.

”No Mom...” said Lisa.

”It’s just that-“

”Ohm ah pitey om! Ohm ah pitey om!” Lisa chanted in Mandarin or something.

”Mmmmmmmhmmmmm! You’re getting a bath tonight!” Marge grumbled.

Oscar frowned at Marge. He decided she needed to be educated.

Bart came down to dinner whistling that night when he gasped because his arch enemy Sideshow Bob was visiting. Dun! Dun! Dun!

”Hello Bart.” said Sideshow Bob politely.

”Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Mom! Dad! Sideshow Bob is in our house!” Bart screamed.

”I know! I drugged him with antipsychotic pills and brought him here under police escort to teach your mom to accept Lisa’s Buddhism.” said Oscar.

Bart winced.

”Homer you are forgetting the two noble truths of the Buddha...” said Sideshow Bob.

”I am not!” said Homer. “And you already told me that when you were daring Marge’s ugly sister Selma!”

”Homer!” Marge snapped.

”Okay, okay! This charade has gone on long enough!” said Peter Griffin.

”You!” Oscar snapped at Peter Griffin.

”Peter from Family Guy?!” Lisa asked.

”I’ll sort out your heathen daughter.” said Peter.

”You’ll do no such thing! And she’s not a heathen for changing her religion!” Oscar yelled.

”The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!” Peter chanted and sprayed holy water at Lisa and tapped her hard with a cross repeatedly.

”Ow! Glub! Cough! Stop! Splutter!” Lisa spluttered from the holy water.

”ENOUGH!” Oscar yelled with glowing red eyes and his hair sticking up and floating with a red aura.

”Oh fudge! He blew a fuse...” Bart groaned.

”Not quite!” said angry Oscar channeling his rage. “A direct fight with Peter would be a waste of energy. He’s too resilient. Plus the damage to the house from the ultra fight would be astronomical!” He was thinking which looked odd when he was floating with Saiyan hair and red eyes. “I got it!”

Oscar got out his boom box stereo and put a tape in.

”Your fighting me with music?!” Peter asked. However when Oscar pressed play, Paula Cole’s Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? Played.

”I will do the laundry, if you pay all the bills...”

”Where is my John Wayne?”

”Where is my Prairie song?”

”Where is my happy ending?”

”Where have all the cowboys goooooooone?”

”Aaaaaaaagh! It burns! Make it stop! Make it stop! Aaaaaaagh!” Peter screamed in agony.

”No!” said Oscar. “You can’t bear this song? Then just leave! And never return!”

Peter ran off screaming in pain. Oscar followed him to the front door and held the boom box radio up as it continued playing Where have all the cowboys gone?

...

At church.

”We still haven’t seen the millions in repayments and revenue you said the new church would make, Mr Burns!” said Lovejoy at the church meeting.

”You’ll get your money... When Hell freezes over! Mwuhahahaha!” Mr Burns threw a smoke grenade and laughed. However he couldn’t vanish as after the smoke cleared he was opening the door.

”Oh! Just take my money already! Take it!” Mr Burns threw money at them and left.

...

Near Christmas Day.

Lisa saw what seemed obvious was a live pony wrapped up in Christmas paper.

"Is that a pony?!" Lisa gasped.

"I don't know... All I know is she likes sugar cubes and smells of peppermint." said Marge playing along.

"Well hopefully she'll like that than my present..." Homer said to Bart.

In the corner was a turkey from the supermarket ready to cook wrapped in blue wrapping paper. Santa's Little Helper kept sniffing it.

Maggie then came in holding a candy cane. However she kept falling over because she can't walk properly yet.

"Aaaaaw!" said Lisa.

She went to take it but saw Reverend Lovejoy at the window.

"Lick it! Lick it!" He chanted.

"No!" Lisa stormed off.

"Nooooo! Lisa!" Marge cried. "Our daughter has walked out on Christmas Eve!"

Ralph bursted out of the present that was supposed to be a pony.

"Can we have some more sugar?" Ralph asked.

"Sure, its in the kitchen." said Homer.

"Alright!" Milhouse bursted out of the present and they both ran to the kitchen.

...

Lisa ran to the Buddhist temple.

She interrupted Richard Gere from his meditation.

"I'm sorry but my family are trying to brainwash me with Christmas!"

"Well I almost reached enlightenment but oh well..." said Richard.

"I'm just here because when Buddhists die you either reincarnate or go to Nirvana! Wooooo! Rocking!" Oscar did hand forks and a guitar solo played.

"Oscar that's not what nirvana in Buddhism means..." Lisa tried to explain.


Richard Gere then explained to Lisa that Buddhists still celebrate holidays with the family as long as they're not religious holidays. She can still be a Buddhist and celebrate Christmas.

"Oh. I better get home! My family are worried about me!" said Lisa.

"See you soon, Lisa." said Richard Gere.

Oscar was humming to Smells like teen spirit while doing an air guitar gesture and head banging. The temple keeper sighed.

...

Lisa was found that morning sleeping under the Christmas tree.

The family were just happy she was home.

"Yes, I'm gonna be celebrating Christmas. However, I'm still a Buddhist." said Lisa.

"So your just paying lip service to the church?" said Marge.

"Well if you think about it. That tree is pagan, and Jesus probably doesn't want people giving each other material gifts and crass commercialism on his birthday..." Lisa retorted.

Marge sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'm just glad to have you back home." They hugged.

"Now where's that pony?" Lisa asked.

"Um Lisa..." Marge replied but Lisa was going about the house looking for the pony...

"Whatever happened to the one Bart brought her. Or I did in canon?"

"Fat Tony stole it. I had to give it back after the trial." said Bart. "And in canon you gave it back so you didn't have to keep working at the kwik e mart."

"Merry Christmas everyone!" said Oscar as Lisa was still looking for the pony.

The end.

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