Simpsons Fanon
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Radioactive Monkeys in my pants! After the events of Worst Episode Ever! Ned has some bizarre adventures with a radioactive baboon! Meanwhile Ruth Powers goes on a date with Barney and Matt Groening tries to evict her from the Brown house.

Plot[]

Ned was driving erratically in his GEO because the radioactive monkey was slapping him.

"Ow! What do you want now?!" Ned asked. The radioactive monkey slapped him and screeched. "No we can't stop for bananas!" The baboon slapped him. "Okay! We'll stop for bananas!"

Then there was a montage of the radioactive monkey tormenting Ned such as throwing banana skins out the window, going on a date with Mr Teeny (Dragging Ned along too.) and slapping Ned at work while he was trying to run the leftorium.

”And would you like some free parking time? Ow! What? What did I do wrong?” Ned whined because the radioactive monkey slapped him.

Meanwhile Matt was trying to evict Ruth and Laura from the Brown House.

"But we live here!" said Ruth Powers.

"And I am God! I say you have to leave! I need this house for future plot lines! For example a Sideshow Bob episode!" said Matt.

"No way in hell, man! I'm not living next to that freak, Sideshow Bob!" Bart yelled.

"Quiet Bart or I'll erase your tattoo! Speaking of which! Who is screwing with things?! Bart with a tattoo still? Bart with a stolen copy of Bonestorm?!" said Matt.

"Stolen?!" The Simpsons except Bart yelled, before glaring at him.

"Hugo is Canon?! Who's making these changes?!" Matt asked.

"I did." said Oscar. "I was disgusted with all the plot holes and I really wanted to make Bart happy by giving him everything he wants. I own your world now! Take a hike, Matt!"

"Hey this is my intellectual property! Like I'm leaving without a fight! Lawyers attack!" yelled Matt.

He summons loads of angry lawyers including the blue haired lawyer.

"Too easy!" Oscar said pulling out a Tommy gun and shooting them.

There was then an enormous fight with their characters. Some were in superhero forms such as Bart as Stretchdude etc and super villains such as Gamblor fighting Oscar's Toon monsters.

Eventually Oscar won.

"Face it Matt. I at least acknowledge continuity. I bet you don't even remember that Bart's allergic to shrimp!" said Oscar.

"And you can't keep moving random people into the brown house! Or killing of random characters! Or having Ned marry Edna or whoever else you ship him with! It's weird!" said Bart.

"Fine! I quit!" Matt left, never to return.

...

Oscar was busy zapping the Simpsons with an amnesia spell so they would never remember today's events. Then the news came on.

"This is Kent Brockman with a rather comical news story. Regular church attendee Ned Flanders appears to have monkey trouble with an escaped radioactive ape as it holds him hostage in the zoo!"

"Help me!" Ned cried on the news as he was in a tree being threatened by a green glowing baboon and some ordinary baboons.

"Oh my lord!" Marge gasped.

"Ha! Stupid Flanders!" Homer laughed.

"Homer!" Marge scolded him. "We have to do something!"

"Fine... Everyone get in the car..." Homer sighed.

"In other news local comic book geek Comic Book Guy is facing a lengthy prison sentence for video tape piracy and obtaining illegally recording sensitive government footage. His shop when reopened will still be in the care of resident trouble makers Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten! That is all folks!" said Kent reading the news.

...

The Simpsons drove to the zoo and stopped at Donny's Discount garage along the way for directions.

"The Zoo's that way Marge." said Donny.

"Thanks Donny." said Marge.

They arrived at the Zoo where some Japanese tourists thought Homer was Mr Sparkle and they found Ned still screaming for help.

"Oh no! This is a job for Stretchdude and Clobbergirl!" said Bart. They transformed into Stretchdude and Clobbergirl however before they could do something a train whistle blew.

"Look!" said Clobbergirl.

Reverend Lovejoy was driving the Zoo train.

"Reverend Lovejoy!" Ned gasped.

"Trust in me Ned! Take my hand!" said Lovejoy.

Ned did so and he was pulled to safety as the tire swing he was in fell and the baboons ate it.

However as Ned thanked Lovejoy some baboons attacked the train!

Ned screamed.

Reverend Lovejoy swung from a branch and kicked the baboons away.

"Cooooool! The Reverend kicks ass!" Bart cooed.

"Bart! Language!" said Marge telling him off.

Then the radioactive baboon attacked. Lovejoy pulled out a key holding the train cars together so that the car the radioactive baboon was on got left behind.

"Thanks Reverend! However can I repay you?" said Ned.

"Oh that's what friends are for Ned. Although less of the late night phone calls would be a start." said Lovejoy.

They chuckled as the Zoo train went back into Baboon County USA. The baboon section where the baboons were. We hear apes screeching.

...

That Saturday at church Reverend Lovejoy was talking about how he fought off the baboons. Everyone was confused and some were horrified he was spending the day boasting about his fight against baboons rather than reading psalms etc. However Homer was engrossed for once.

"Baboons to the left of me. Baboons to right. They flew at me but bam! I kicked them away like two furry footballs! Then one came scraving at me! Haaaaaeeeeck! Haaaaaeeeeeck!" said Reverend Lovejoy making inhuman sounds for the baboons. "And that's when I got mad..."

Marge was speechless that Reverend was telling his story instead of a lecture or something boring and churchy.

"Now this is church!" said Homer to her eager of the new Lovejoy.

Time skip.

Eventually it was time to go home. The Simpsons had to wait for Marge.

"Hmmmmm! Reverend. I was hoping for some deep and spiritual today, not your admittedly heroic and dashing escapades... You've got Bart and Homer all excited!" said Marge.

"Woooo! Tell us how you beat up those baboons again Reverend!" Bart cheered, pumping his fists in the air.

"Hmmmmm! At least give them an important message!" Marge sighed.

"I can't Marge. I just did what any good Christian man would do! Saved an innocent life and an old friend!" said Lovejoy.

Marge grumbled. "Come on let's go home... Lisa's probably waiting for us.

"Hey Lovejoy bring back the make your own taco table!" Homer said as they left.

"Homer no!" Marge told him off as they left.

...

The Simpsons went home to get change and tell Lisa what happened in church. Lisa was meditating.

"Hmmmmmm! That just gives me more reason to still find the church blasphemous!" said Lisa.

"Me too dear. I hope next week Lovejoy doesn't have anymore thrill seeking stories to tell." said Marge.

"Hey at least he's not making them up Mom." said Bart as he took off his church shoes.

Marge grumbled.

Bart went up to his room to find Hugo's church shoes hastily discarded along with socks in them,

"I found Hugo's church shoes! He must have slipped them off this morning!" said Bart.

"I was wondering why I could smell Limburger cheese..." Oscar replied.

Hugo laughed.

...

Marge was talking with Ruth. She had news.

"I have a date this evening." said Ruth.

"Oooooh! I wonder who it is!" Marge replied.

Barney pulled up wearing a suit.

"See you tonight baby! Uuuuuuurp!" said Barney belching before driving off.

Ruth grimaced in disgust.

"Hmmmmmmm... Ruth you don't have to go out with him if you don't want to..." said Marge.

"Oh it's okay Marge. I'm sure he has a sweet sensitive side." said Ruth. "Besides any Man is better than (shivers in disgust) Austin..."

Homer was going out in a suit with chocolates as if he was going on a date.

"Homer where are you going dressed up? Oh sweetie! Are those chocolates for me?" Marge asked, thinking Homer was surprising her.

"Um no. Every Saturday afternoon after church I like to sit on Park benches impersonating Forrest Gump." said Homer.

Marge sighed as Homer drove off.

...

Homer sat down on a park bench and ate the chocolates. "Mmmmmm! Truffle!" he said as he ate one.

However Chief Wiggum appeared to tell him off. "Simpson we have a law against impersonating celebrities in this town! Errr Blame the blue haired lawyer guy for it." said Wiggum standing with the blue haired lawyer.

"Okay... I'll go home and get changed." Homer sighed as he went home dressed as Forrest Gump.

"Now to check on the rest of the wannabe celebrities!" said Wiggum.

Moe dressed as Austin Powers was arrested for saying "oh behave! Yeah baby! Yeah!" He was put in the back of a police truck with Dr Hibbert dressed as Darth Vader.

"Luke, I am your father. Ahehehehe!" said Vader Hibbert.

"It's No, I am your father! Hibbert!" Moe replied as they were taken away to the police station.

...

That evening Ruth went on her date with Barney. He took her to Gulp and Blow, a greasy burger cafe. He spent the night disgusting her as she grimaced at a remark he made about his last girlfriend, Selma.

Meanwhile Laura Powers was babysitting Bart and his siblings.

"So this is your twin brother Hugo?" said Laura. Um Hugo was uh somewhere in the last episode Laura was in.

"Switzerland buying Swiss cheese." said Hugo to the narrator.

Okay in Switzerland buying Swiss cheese...

"Yeah, that's Hugo. He uh... doesn't like wearing shoes and loves eating fish heads so don't be alarmed if you smell rotten fish." said Bart.

"Uh okay, thanks for the info. I'm sure he was the reason for your folks getting arrested that one night and you begging my mom adopt you and your sisters." said Laura.

"I don't really want to talk about it..." said Bart.

Instead Laura spent the night pranking Bart by giving him a wet willie and a hurts donut?

"Soooo, Laura... where did you get the jacket from?" Bart asked.

"My ex boyfriend. You wouldn't know him. We were dating long before I moved to Springfield..." said Laura.

"What was he like?" Bart asked.

"A real fruit cake. Kept slamming his face into the ground and saying he was a woodpecker..." said Laura.

Ed from Ed, Edd and Eddy was at the lounge windows. "Uh huhuhuhuhe " he laughed in his goofy fashion symbolising how dumb he was.

"I'll handle this Bart, uh it's almost bed time, I'll be up in a sec." Said Laura.

Bart sat at the top of the stairs with his brother and sisters as they listened to Laura speaking with Ed and asking him to leave as their relationship ended long ago.

Oscar was wearing costumes and wigs from Homer and Marge’s closet. He had red long wig on and a red dress on.

”What the?!” Bart gasped.

”Ooooooh Bart! I’m your beautiful babysitter and weird crush Laura! Kali ma shakti de! Kali ma! Kali maaaaaa!” He tried good remove Bart’s heart.

”Oz no! And who told you about that nightmare I had about Laura?” Bart asked.

Hugo whistled nonchalantly.

Matt listed the following people would live next door in 7 43 Evergreen Terrace. The brown house.

Sideshow Bob in a clever disguise and wearing some guy’s face. Eeeeew! Face Off!

Then Steve Carrel from the Office, Bruce Almighty and Despicable Me would move in.

After him would be a family of millennials/cool people.

Some how the millennials would be worse than Sideshow Bob!” Bart gulped.

Plot 2[]

Meanwhile Ruth went to Moe's with Barney to use her free beer coupon she hadn't used yet.

"Is this Moe's tavern? She asked handing him a free beer coupon.

"Uh no it's Bo's cavern." Moe lied.

"Just give me my free beer." said Ruth. Moe poured her a beer.

"This is gonna bankrupt me..." Moe pondered why he decided to give out free beer coupons.

Then his phone rang.

"Uh huh. Amanda hug and kiss? Amanda hug and kiss? Oh why can't I find Amanda hug and kiss?!" Moe cried trying to find Amanda Hug and Kiss. (A man to hug and kiss). It was obviously another of Bart's prank phone calls.

"Maybe your standards are too high!" Barney said laughing. Everyone laughed hysterically.

"It's you isn't it! If I ever get ahold of you I'll..." Moe made another violent threat.

Bart laughed as the phone got put down.

"Bart who are you calling?" Laura asked.

"Uh no one..." Bart lied.

Elsewhere it was getting late so Barney took Ruth back to his apartment.

"That's my couch. I sleep there!" said Barney. "Once I found some pizza under the cushions!"

Ruth shivered in disgust.

"This is my answering machine! I don't like answering the phone so I prank people with funny answering machine messages!" Barney giggled. He played one of his answering messages for callers to tell them to leave messages. "Nobody's here, nobody's here! Nobody's heeeeeere!" A voice sung to Beethoven's most famous symphony.

Ruth rolled her eyes.

"This is my identical cousin. Well except he's blond." said Barney holding a picture of his cousin. "He's mean and starts fights."

"I think I should go..." Ruth decided her date was a disaster.

"Aw... I'll drive you home!" said Barney.

"Aren't you over the limit?" Ruth asked.

"No!" Barney lied before burping.

...

At bed time Laura was reading Bart The Dinosaur that pooped Christmas.

“This book is gross..” Laura sighed.

“It’s written by McFly’s Dougie Poynter!” Bart explained with a smirk.

“Well obviously his singing career went downhill...” said Laura sighing.

Meanwhile at Moe’s.

Comic Book Guy came into drink.

“I’ll have one raspberry schnapps.” said Comic Book Guy.

“Uh most of these bottles are painted on... it’s mostly just Duff...” said Moe.

“Feh! Is that all you sell?” Comicbook Guy was disappointed.

“Well... Barney’s artistic girlfriend from when he was in Homer’s band, The B Sharps asked for a small plum served in perfume in a gentleman’s hat. I uh don’t know why she ordered that...” said Moe.

“Worst bar ever!” said Comic Book Guy. He was promptly kicked out again.

Comic Book Guy read his Klingon dictionary and said loneliness in Klingon.

Meanwhile in his house Yeeeeeeeees Guy was ironing for the week. His phone rang. “Yeeeeeeeeees?” He asked. “Yeeeeeeeees Nigel. Noooooo Nigel not tonight I’m doing my ironing. Yeeeeees Nigel I’ll let him know. Goodnight.” He put down his phone and realised he burnt a shirt with his iron. “Oh no, oh no! Oh nooooooo!”

Kool aid man bursted in. “Oh yeah!” he said with a tune.

The next day Ruth called round the Simpsons looking terrible.

“Oh my! Ruth you look terrible.” said Marge.

“I slept in a ditch, because Barney crashed into it... it’s a long story.” said Ruth.

“Well come in, I’ll put on some tea...” said Marge.

“Thanks Marge.” said Ruth.

As they passed, Bart was sat on the stairs reading the dinosaur that pooped Christmas. He was giggling and singing a little doo dooby doo doo song and doing voices for the dinosaur.

Lisa found him reading.

“Bart, that book is meant for kindergarteners...” Lisa sighed. "You can read that to Maggie."

Meanwhile McFly were producing more neo rock pop fusion that young girls love that isn’t even real pop music because the themes are about love and they are all about being handsome boy bands rather than rebellious and writing lyrics about Satan.

“Hey guys, what if we wrote children’s books about dinosaurs pooping! Nahahahaha!” Dougie Poynter said laughing.

“No people wouldn’t take us seriously! And what is so funny about dinosaurs defecating?!” said one of the McFlys that’s not Dougie or Tom.

“Now hold on. I think dinosaurs pooping is a great idea!” said Tom Fletcher.

“Yay!” Dougie danced with Tom while they sold out to make children’s books about dinosaurs with diarrhoea.

“We should totally join forces with Busted and take over the world!” said Harry Judd.

“Shut up Harry...” said Danny Jones.

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