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Quit Clowning Around! A strange creature that looks like Bart with a big red shiny clown nose prompts Bartman and Milboy and Oscar to hunt it down to see if it unlocks a new persona for Bart. Meanwhile Homer attends Clown college and scares Oscar with his eerie voices. And Krusty owes Fat Tony’s mob money.

Plot[]

Bart and Oscar are wandering about downtown after shopping at the Kwik-e mart for squishees when a strange creature rushes past laughing like the Noid. The creature is yellow with Bart's spikes, Bart's shoes and a big red shiny nose, like a clown's. It pulled a face and ran off.

"After him!" Bart yelled. However they lost the creature. "This looks like a job for Bartman!"

That evening Bartman and Milboy with Oscar tagging along uninvited checked out the town for the unusual creature. They passed some of Bart's graffiti labled with his tag "El Barto".

Oscar tried to imagine what El Barto looked like. He imagined Bart with a moustache and wearing Mexican clothes.

"Oscar pay attention! We're looking for that weird thing that looks like me with a big red nose." Bartman explained.

"There it is, Bartman!" said Milboy. The creature pulled a face and ran into an alleyway.

"After him!" Bartman yelled. They caught the creature as it was stuck in a dead end. A brick wall was at the end of the alleyway.

"There's nowhere to run! Now explaining yourself dude!" Bartman said in a serious tone as he demanded answers.

However the creature smirked and pulled out a tin of paint and a brush with which he painted a tunnel and ran through it.

"After him!" Bartman asked, but they crashed into the painted brick wall.

"D'oh!" Toons..." Bartman groaned.

...

The following afternoon after school they encountered the creature again. They chased it into a portal that led into a toon version of Springfield, like the one in Bart's dream in Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace.

Bart noticed they were now behaving like toons.

"We're cartoons! That's kinda cool!" Bart explained.

"Bart we have to focus on that thing," Oscar pointed to the Bart creature that was taunting them.

“After him!” Bart yelled.

“Bart you’ve said that four times already...” said Oscar rolling his eyes.

They chased it to Bart's house and ran in. The creature led them on a wild goose chase throughout the house before stopping at a bottle labled Glue. He grinned and poured the glue on the floor.

Bart and Oscar ran into it and were immediately stuck.

"Oh great! Glue..." Bart groaned as they struggled. The glue made stretchy noises as they struggled.

The creature grinned and pulled faces at them before running off.

Toon Bart pulled out a paddle and spanked Oscar with it, sending him rocketing out of the glue with a scream. He then passed the paddle to Oscar so he hit Bart who jumped very high in the air, escaping the glue and yelling.

They ran after the creature. They passed Santa's Little Helper.

"Care for a spot of tea?" The dog asked.

"Hey! Santa's Little Helper's not supposed to talk! What's going on, Bart?" Oscar asked.

"I'm not Bart! Bwuhahahaha!" Not Bart replied while laughing madly with a big nose.

Oscar woke up with a start in his bed in Bart's room. Had the whole day just been a dream?

However it wasn't as the Bart creature appeared and pulled faces. Oscar ran after it. It crashed into Bart as he was coming back from the bathroom.

"Oof! What are you?! We want answers!" Bart demanded. Suddenly the creature turned into sparkles and they merged with Bart. He found himself wearing a clown costume with a big red shiny nose. And a rainbow wig.

"Cool! You're a clown!" Oscar cooed.

"Ay carumba! I don't want to be a clown! I just like clowns! Well just Krusty really..." Bart remarked about his new costume.

...

The next day Bart is wearing his clown outfit. Homer screams and runs out.

"Okay..." Bart groaned.

Later that day Bart and Lisa were watching cartoons. Krusty was riding a bike and doing his famous swallow a tiny bicycle sketch. He laughed his trademark laugh as he rode about on stage before doing a loop da loop and swallowing a tiny bicycle. He opened his mouth and made a bicycle bell ringing sound at the kids in the audience. They cheered.

“When Krusty wants to, he can sure blow them away.” said Lisa.

“Yeah. After all these years, Krusty still has the skill to come up with something like eating a bike.” said Bart watching the Krusty the clown show.

“So have you guys got to the bottom of that weird clown Bart head running around?” Lisa asked.

“Yeah, turned out it was the Buzz candy mascot.” said Oscar.

“Turns out we’re not so different after all.” said Bart eating a Butterfinger while Buzz the Buzz candy mascot was eating gummy sweets.

“Bleh!” Buzz opened his mouth and had multicoloured gooey strands or phlegmings stretched between his jaws that was once gummies before he chewed them up.

“Eeeeeew!” Oscar groaned before wetting himself from his gross out fetish.

“And I unlocked the ability to dress up as a clown. I only like Krusty though. I still find other clowns creepy.” said Bart.

”Oh diddums! Is it because of the big scary clown bed?” Lisa smirked teasing him.

”Enough of the clown bed!” Bart yelled.

At work Homer has taken Oscar to do all his work for him while he slept.

However Lenny explains there's a fire in the local area.

“Homer you’ve got a fire in your area. Sector 7G?

Workers were screaming and on fire.

However Homer sees the burning workers as clowns dancing to circus music.

"Clowns are funny...." Homer says in a creepy voice.

"Nyaaaaaaaaagh!" Oscar screams before running off.

"What's his problem?" Homer asked.

On the drive home, Homer says Mmmmmmmm! To various food based advertisements on bill boards. Until one comes up for Krusty's clown college.

"Clown college?! You can't eat that!" Homer yells.

”No but it can eat you...” said Oscar menacingly.

Eventually he comes home and everyone has dinner. They're having mashed potatoes. Homer moulds his into a circus tent while everyone watches.

"Homer..." Marge asks.

"Uh huh..." Homer replies, but when he looks up, everyone is clowns dancing to circus music. Homer is disturbed. "Marge..."

"Yes Homer? Do do do do dodooo..." she sings to the circus music.

"That's it! I'm going to clown college!" Homer declares before leaving dinner.

"I don't think any of us expected him to say that..." Bart remarked.

”Cool! Clown college...” Oscar is obsessed with clowns.

”Oz no!” Bart groaned.

...

That night Homer tried to sleep only for his dream to be interrupted by the Krusty's clown college poster, the Krusty's then come to life and start dancing to circus music.

"D'oh! Can't sleep! Clowns are dancing!" Homer groans in his sleep.

That morning Homer passes Bart's room as Oscar and Bart are in there playing Tomba on Bart's console. They're on the forest of flowers level with the creepy laughing/crying flowers.

"Aaaaaaaaagh!" Homer screams at the flowers before running off.

"What is up with him?" Bart asks. Oscar shrugs.

In the forest of a hundred flowers Tomba winced as he looked up at the giant clown flowers laughing or crying depending on the mushroom he ate.

Homer drove himself to clown college. He was still thinking about clowns.

The college classes are ran by Krusty himself.

"Good morning everyone... Ugh, there's a lot of ya... And none of you look funny..." Krusty groaned clearly hungover. "Okay let's get this over with... I'm Krusty the Clown, your teacher... And this is Krusty's clown college. I wanted to call it Krusty's Klown Kollege, but the initials would be KKK and my lawyers said absolutely no way!" "Anyway let's begin..."

“Where are you you all from?”

“France.”

“Germany.”

“New York.”

“Ohio.”

“New Hampshire.”

“Homer.” said Homer. “D’oh!”

Krusty paces up and down the class room teaching his students how to be funny.

Next to Homer sat a Clownja, one of Oscar’s Clown headed cartoon jack in the box critters. This one had spiky green hair and a red shiny round nose. Homer winced looking at the Clownja as it listened to Krusty.

“... Now when the wealthy Dowager comes in the jokes are over right?” Krusty asked. Everyone nodded. “Wrong! Hooahahahaha!” In fact it meant jokes about the wealthy Dowager time!

“Kill Dowager...” Homer wrote on his note pad.

Clownja winced worries about Homer’s state of mind.

Krusty started by listing funny place names like Walla Walla, Keokuk, Cucamonga and Seattle.

Homer bursts out laughing at Seattle. "Seattle..." he laughs hysterically.

"Okay, it's not that funny..." Krusty groaned.

...

Krusty then demonstrated his most popular stunt, riding a tiny bicycle through a loop-da-loop, perform a couple of backflips and catch the bicycle in his mouth and make a ringing sound as if he's swallowed it.

However Homer repeatedly fails, getting the loop tangled up around him, ripping a hole in it and getting his clown pants tangled up in the wheels exposing his butt.

"Uh, burn that seat afterwards..." Krusty says to his assistants in disgust.

...

Everyone then has to try on their costumes.

"Oooooh! These pants fit so perfectly! So snug!" Homer says proudly.

"You idiots! These are clown pants they're meant to be far too big! That's the joke!" Krusty yelled. "Get this fat lump a bigger pair!"

"Hey!" Homer groaned.

...

Eventually everyone graduated. However Krusty had a joy buzzer and shocked everyone when they took their diplomas in costume. Except Homer.

"Yoink! No shock for me!" He ran off laughing.

"Oh yeah?!" Krusty said before chasing after him and tackling him to the ground. He then shocked Homer repeatedly.

At home, Homer shows off his costume. "How do I look?"

"Creepy..." Bart remarked.

“Yeah Dad. This is worse than that time you tried to impersonate Tom Bosley.” said Lisa.

“I have no idea who that is so I can’t make a reference.” said Oscar.

Homer then attends Milhouse's birthday party as Krusty. However he soon gets too tired and has to sit down.

"It's only three o'clock..." Kirk explained pointing to his watch. Homer groaned and got back up to dance around as kids threw things at him,

...

Oscar is bothering Bart.

"Turn into a clown! Turn into a clown! Turn into a clown!" He says repeatedly.

"Oscar! If you don't stop, I'll turn you into a clown!" Bart warned.

"Turn into a clown!" Oscar said once more. Bart used his treehouse of Horror II powers and turned Oscar into a jack-in-the-box.

Marge gasped at what he did. "Bart! Change him back!" Bart did so and Oscar returned to normal.

Meanwhile Homer as Krusty was advertising the grand opening of yet another Krusty Burger opening.

However the Krusty burgular was trying to steal the giant Krusty burgers playfully.

The kids are cheering at him.

Homer overreacted. "Oh my god! He's stealing the burgers! Why you!" Homer started beating up the Krusty burgular violently.

The kids were horrified.

"Stop! He's already dead!" A kid cried.

The security guards removed Homer. The Krusty burgular was alive, just.

"Uuuuunnngh... call the number on my bracelet..." the Krusty burgular groaned.

Homer was sacked by a very angry Krusty.

"You klutz! That was our last midget actor! Get outta here!" Krusty yelled.

Plot 2[]

Homer was drowning his sorrows at Moe's.

"Cheer up Homer. I remember when I was one of the Little rascals an I got sacked for beating up and killing the original Alfalfa.." said Moe.

"What happened?" Lenny asked.

"I don't like to talk about it..." Moe sighed.

There was a memory of a young Moe on the little rascals in black and white film. Moe's character gag was that he'd look in an exhaust pipe and would get soot in his eye. But one day Alfalfa stole his bit.

"You little sonnuva! You stole my bit!" Moe yelled jumping on him and slamming his head into the ground.

"Moe no!" A director tried to stop him.

"Oh my god! He killed the original Alfalfa!" A producer yelled.

The day dream ended.

At home in the rumpus room Bart was wearing a diaper and a big red shiny clown nose. He was picking at his navel.

Baby Oscar wet himself. The camera reveals Baby Oscar is tiny and baby clown Bart is normal sized but gigantic to Oscar. He picks him up and gurgles drooling.

Oscar sweated staring at Bart’s big red shiny clown nose. He then stuffed his hands up his clown nose like it was a cartoon animal’s nose. Splat! His hands sunk into something slimy... boogers!

“Ugh! Clown snot!” Baby Oscar whined pulling at Clown Bart’s snot.

Bart gurgled in disgust. He watches Oscar struggle and tug at his boogers before yanking him free.

Baby Oscar gurgled and slime drips from his hands.

Bart grimaced in disgust.

Baby Oscar splattered his slimy hands together and tugged at the gooey slime.

“Yuck! Gross!’ Bart groaned.

..

Meanwhile Krusty owes Fat Tony money so this is supposed to be an episode where Fat Tony is the antagonist. However I only like it when he does mob things like give people he doesn’t like Cement shoes, puts horse heads in people’s beds, puts orange slices in his mouth to make his goons laugh...

“How is that last thing even remotely mobster?!” Fat Tony asked.

“Um ask Moe...” said the narrator.

“Anyway the godfather is visiting. Don Vittorio.” said Legs.

Fat Tony gasped and politely greeted the godfather. They kissed each other on the cheeks. Oh and Don Vittorio looks exactly like Marlon Brando’s character from the Godfather.

“Coooool! Marlon Brando...” said Oscar. Bart working at Fat Tony’s cocktail bar rolled his eyes.

“You crazy kid Tony! I don’t know whether to kill you or kiss you!” said Don Vittorio. “So I tell you what. We’ll make Krusty an offer he can’t refuse.” A ginger cat he was stroking meowed. “Yes Mr Kittens.” Don Vittorio stroked his kitty.

Bart face palmed.

...

At Home Homer was entertaining Oscar by turning into Genie and doing Godfather monkey impressions.

“Wait did you make a bet with your organ grinder monkey as a wager?” He turns into a Godfather monkey. “You must show respect for the Simian family, take care of Abullio or you could wake up sleeping with the fishes....” he holds a cartoon goldfish sleeping with cartoon nightcap on its head.

Bart face palms at their silliness.

“I feel like I’m in the Sopranos!! Oz if it’s not your weird clown obsession it’s filling the filler with Godfather and mob references?!”

“Well the episode is about Krusty and the mob...” said Oscar.

“Homer hold still while I do up your bow tie! Stop squirming!” said Marge.

“I am holding still! I am not squirming!” Homer whined as Marge got him ready for his job as a Krusty impersonation despite him being told off for attacking the Krusty burglar the other day.

Buzz was drinking soda.

“Why are you still here?” Bart asked the weird candy mascot.

“Because he doesn’t get in a grouchy mood when I want to play my weird games with him. Like pulling on his clown boogers.” Oscar asked.

Buzz grimaced. “You sure like anything that’s gooey don’t you...?”

“Yup.” said Oscar.

...

Meanwhile Krusty was threatened by mobsters because he owed them money. He cried thinking they were going to do something horrible to him. Like give him cement shoes or bury him alive.

“Well Skinny boy (Skinner) once owed some Vietnamese gangsters, or Yakuza something and they made him play Russian roulette...” said Oscar narrating.

In a parody of The Deer Hunter, Skinner and Apu were made to duel in a game of Russian roulette in a smokey back room by Vietnamese gangsters.

“Mao! Diddy Mao!” The gangster yelled demanding the game would start.

Moe came in. “Uh guys you can’t do that in my back room anymore.”

However the gangsters just wanted their money, a reasonable horse racing debt of 48 dollars.

“Oh. Here’s fifty.” Krusty gave Don Vittorio his money.

“And here’s two dollars change.” said Don Vitorrio. The mob were happy now they were quits and left.

Krusty sighed with relief.

“And there was that time in Predator 2 when I upset the Yardies and they tried to have my heart cut out.” said Oscar. “Kali ma shakti de! Kali maaaaaa!”

“Oscar go back to talking about clowns! Please!” Bart whined.

“Okay! Hehehehe!” Oscar giggled. Bart felt his morbid references to gangsters or Godfather references was worse than his clown obsession.

...

Krusty was back to his old spending habits and having to deal with Bender in his bathroom at Krustylu Studios.

“Put five hundred dollars on that horse I like. You know that ugly one, the one that ate Milhouse’s candy apple.” said Krusty to his accountant. “And did you put 1000 roses on Bea Arthur’s grave like I told you to?”

“Krusty Bea Arthur is still alive...” said the accountant. Who happened to be Jewish.

“She’s what?! Then who’s grave have I been having flowers put on then?!”

“I have no idea Krusty. But she’s currently in Futurama as the voice of the Femputer.” said the accountant.

“Death by Snu Snu!” said Bea Arthur.

“Oz.... I’m sure you can think of a better Bea Arthur reference than that...” Bart sighed.

One day Bart was at school dressed as a clown.

Billy from Grim Adventures saw him and screamed.

”Aaaaaaaagh! Clooooooowns! Destroy us all!” He ran and fled.

Bart winced.

Then Jimbo gave him a wedgie because he looked like a dork dressed as a clown. Lisa found him dangling from the flag pole by his underwear. She helped him down.

Mandy found Billy hiding behind a bin in the school halls and oranges trailing from his hiding place. “I’m guessing this has something to do with Billy...”

”Hi Mandy.” said Billy.

”Five points to me.” said Mandy. “Now get out from there...”

Billy arrived wearing a colander of oranges on his head and two oranges stuffed in his nostrils.

”You’re gonna make me ask aren’t you...” Mandy face palmed.

”Ask me what?” Billy asked.

”What is with the oranges...” Mandy asked.

”They’re not oranges... they’re tangelos!” Billy explained.

Mandy squeezed the bridge of her nose. If she had a nose. “What is with the tangelos...

”Clowns hate tangelos. It messed with their equilibrium.” said Billy.

”Who told you that bungus?!” Mandy asked in disbelief.

A guy with a trolley of tangelos went past whistling.

”Is this that ridiculous clown thing again?!” Mandy yelled.

”Who are you calling ridiculous?! Well! What about your fear of figure skaters?” Billy asked.

”It’s not a fear! I just don’t trust the way they skate that’s all...” said Mandy covering something up.

”Yeah sure Mandy...” Billy smirked.

Mandy glared at him.

”Mandy you’ve gotta believe me! Clowns are the ultimate evil!! They want to become the dominant species and they’ll destroy us all to make it happen! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!”

He continued yelling Destroy us all! all day...

Oscar and Bart were annoyed by Billy screaming Destroy us all in the cafeteria.

”Billy shut it!” Bart yelled.

Billy stopped.

”Apparently Billy wet the bed last night from his clown dream.

Sperg laughed.

”That’s not funny! I still wet the bed! That’s why I have to wear diapers!” Oscar snapped.

Sperg laughed louder and hysterically.

Oscar seethed with anger.

...

Billy went home screaming Destroy us all! Mandy sighed and the plot line of Attack of the Clowns happened in that she asked Grim to help stop Billy being scared of clowns because it was annoying.

"Mama-say mama-saw mama-coosa! Mama-say mama-saw mama-coosa!" Grim chanted with his scythe near a clown head Mandy had in her basement for some reason.

”Grim what are you doing?!” Mandy asked sharply.

”Just trying to get me mojo flowing.” said Grim.

”I told you Dr Cortex stole your mojo to make the Titans and power his Doominator...” said Oscar.

”Oz stop referencing other characters Greg voiced...” Mandy said sharply.

”Okay Azula.” Oscar smirked.

...

At Krustylu Studios.

“George Carlin on three.” said Ms Pennycandy.

“Yeah. Lawsuit? Oh, come on. My "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" bit...” Krusty argued with George Carlin. “Was entirely different from your bit. So I'm a thief, am I? Well, excuuuuuuuse me!” Krusty slammed down the phone.

”Princess.” Oscar finished his Well Excuuuuuuse me! With a Zelda cartoon reference. He smirked.

”Oz you’re not funny...” Krusty sighed.

Then Krusty wasted more money on things like 5000 dollars betting on a game the Lakers were in to win. The game had been rigged so the Harlem Globetrotters won.

”He’s spinning the ball on his finger! Take it!” Krusty cried.

”You are the least stingy Jew I know.” said Oscar.

A cut away in town.

”Jurkle can I borrow five bucks?” Oscar was following Jurkle, his ginger haired Jewish friend about who was wearing a skull cap and a golden Star of David necklace.

”No.” said Jurkle.

”Can I borrow five bucks?”

”No.”

”Can I borrow five bucks?”

”No.”

”Can I borrow five bucks?”

”No.”

”Can I borrow five bucks?”

”No!” Jurkle yelled.

”But you’re rich!” Oscar whined.

Back at Krusty’s make up room.

”Um okay... You do know that’s a stereotype...” said Krusty.

Then Krusty wanted a new house, because his was dirty.

”Clean it! Or hire a maid!” said the Jewish accountant.

”Oh that’ll spend some money! Okay! In fact give 10,000 of my money to charity!” said Krusty.

”Krusty. That’s very kind and generous!” said the accountant.

”Yes because deep down I am a nice guy!” said Krusty.

”But you’re not behaving stereotypical though!” said the accountant.

”You know calling misers and tight fisted Scrooges, Jew is offensive...” Krusty frowned.

Plot 3[]

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