New Kid on the Block A new kid, the boy with pink shades joins Bart's class. Bart falls in love with a new girl who moves into the neighbourhood and Homer sues an all you can eat fish restaurant.
At School Mrs Krabappel introduces the Boy wearing pink shades and a white jacket to the class.
"Take a seat ..." Mrs Krabappel instructs him. We never know his name. The ginger haired boy sits at the back next to Nelson.
"His hair looks like yours, Oscar." A student explains to Oscar.
"Well his would if I ever cut my hair like his mom probably makes him." Oscar explains. "Does he ever take those shades off? What do his eyes look like?"
The boy remained an enigma.
One summer at Martin's pool party the boy with shades was wearing orange speedos and his shades. He would not remove them. Not even to go swimming. At the school discos he wore smart clothes with a bow tie and was still wearing his pink shades.
"He looks like such a dork!" Jimbo comments.
At science class everyone had to wear their safety goggles.
'Hey, kid, that includes you!" Oscar tells the boy with shades. "Even I have to wear safety goggles. My favourite pair I always wear on my head don't count. He pointed out his green goggles that were holding his hairstyle in place. The boy reluctantly took off his shades. Everyone stared at him. He had biggish eyes. Well not as big as Bart's, those are humongous!
"So that's what your eyes look like..." Richard said as if he'd just found the answer to a hard question.
"Let's get him to talk!" Milhouse suggests.
"He can talk, right?" Bart asks his friends.
Everyone followed the kid with shades around at recess trying to get him to speak. Eventually he has enough of their weird behaviour.
"Will you guys leave me alone?!" He sounded like a cartoon kid voiced by Tress MacNeille. Everyone stopped being curious about him now that there wasn't anything interesting about him.
One weekend the Winfields are packing their bags and leaving.
Homer meanwhile was watching a Blind Date-esque programme called Hunks. One of the bachelors really connected with the date because she liked to cook bacon on the beach.
“Okay, Ron, which one of our girls said the following about you-- "He looked so sexy, I hoped we would have sex"?” asked the Hunks host.
“Well, that's a tough one, 'cause I did the deed with Uta, Candy and Shasta.” All the girls are Giggling “It's true, all right! (Chuckles) But I'm gonna have to go with Shasta... 'cause she liked makin' bacon on the beach.”
”Ooh. Me too.“ said Homer with joy.
"Mmmmmm! Bacon on the beach!" said Homer while drooling and thinking about himself on a beach barbecuing some bacon.
“Mmmmmm bacon...” Lisa moaned with joy and drooled.
“Yes sweetie...” said Homer.
”Lisa’s not vegetarian yet... readers....” Oscar explained in a script room wearing a beret.
Then Mrs Winfield knocked to tell him her husband and herself were leaving.
"We've had enough of your behaviour Mr Simpson! Now do us a favour for once and try not to put off potential buyers of our house!" Mrs Winfield yells at him. Homer has several flashbacks of Mrs Winfield arguing with him down the phone because Santa's little helper got out and was digging up her lawn. And of the winfields mocking him when he was going out for an evening jog in his Assassins trainers (before Santa's little helper ate them).
“Please don’t leave your trash bags outside your bins so the animals can get at them... please take in your rotten pumpkins...” said Ms Winfield as there were rotting pumpkins lying around by Homer’s door step with flies buzzing around. “And please do not walk about indoors or outdoors naked!”
"Yeah right... good riddance you old bags!" Homer yells at them. He does everything he can to be disgusting and embarrassing. Such as leaving the trash out, not taking in his rotten pumpkins from last Halloweens and walking past his windows without any clothes on.
”Homer! Put some clothes on!” Marge nagged.
”And Marge,” Mrs Winfield said sharply.
”Yes Sylvia?” Marge asked politely.
”We are just as displeased at you!” said Sylvia.
”What did I do?” Marge asked.
”You keep upsetting our nephew Jules! Who is played by Samuel L Jackson for some reason.” said Sylvia.
”What does Marcellus Wallace look like?!” Jules yelled.
”Jules calm down...” said Mr Winfield.
After an incident with a moose eating his garbage.
"Hey get outta here!" Homer yelled at him. "Shoo!" The moose charged at him forcing him to retreat into the house. The Northern Exposure theme played as this happened. I have no idea bout that programme apart from it is a comedy set in the south which explains why it sounds like hick music.
”No Bullwinkle! Please have mercy!” Bart cried being silly.
”Bart don’t! You’re always whining at Oscar for making silly media references...” Lisa sighed.
"Prepare for a moosey fate!" yelled Oscar and GIR s they laughed hysterically. They're obsessed with mooses.
Homer later found the Winfields had left boxes of stuff such as hangers and pills.
"Oh my god! Boxes of hangers! Expired medicine! Old newspapers!" said Homer. His brain told him to take it. "Okay body, let's work together." said Homer's brain.
Homer picked up the stuff to steal it but dropped some hangers. "D'oh!" Homer groaned. He dropped something else. “Body you are not helping!” said his brain.
“Hey shut up Brain!” Homer snapped.
Eventually he had got everything in the lounge. Marge found him sitting amongst his stolen goods and taking the expired medicine.
"Homer that's not your medicine!" said Marge concerned.
"Maybe I'm missing something out of my diet! Like errrr.... Estrogen...." said Homer holding a female hormone medicine.
Marge confiscated it from him.
Eventually the house gets sold. Bart and Lisa decide to explore the empty house. They sneak about on tiptoes with funny music.
They find themselves in the basement.
"Boy it sure is spooky down here..." Lisa comments.
"Yeah they say the Winfields kept their mutant son locked down here!" Bart teased her.
"Don't be stupid! The Winfields didn't have a son!" said Lisa.
Bart finds and old sock and teases her.
"Hello Lisa, in the dark you don't need eyes! Give them to me!" says Bart in a silly voice as the sock puppet.
"Bart that's not funny!" Lisa told him off for scaring her.
"Hey Lisa, the momsterous son is till here... He looked just like thiiiiis!" Bart made a scary face by turning his eyelids inside out.
"Aggggggghhhhhhh!" Lisa screams and runs out. Bart laughs but is spooked by someone moaning "friiiiiiieeeend... friiiiiiiieeeeeend..." and grabbing his shoulders. He screams and knocks himself out.
He wakes up to find a much older girl checking up on him.
"Hey kid are you alright?" she asks.
(She's hot! Say something romantic!) says Bart's brain to himself.
"I fell on my bottom...!" Bart says in a babyish tone. "Doh!" said his brain.
The girl giggles. "I'm Laura Powers. What's yours?"
"Bart Simpson, don't wear it out."
Meanwhile Marge is comforting a traumatised Lisa. Lisa is crying.
"There, there. Bart can make some rather um, interesting faces dear, there's no need to be scared sweetie." said Marge.
"I know I feel a little silly Mom, but it was dark down there and I really believed Bart's stupid story about them locking a kid in their basement!" Lisa explained.
"Hmmmm, don't be silly dear. As if people lock kids in basements and attics..." said Marge.
Up in the attic Hugo was clonking his water cup for attention.
They then hang out on the street. Laura asks if he knows all the tricks at school of teasing dumb kids.
"Do you want a hurts donut?" she asks.
"Yep!" Bart really thinks he's getting a donut. Laura hits his arm just enough for him to feel it. "Ow!"
"Hurts, Don't it?" She grins.
"Oh gotcha!" Bart realises.
"Do you know this one then..." she gives him a wet willie. Sticks her finger in his ear after licking it.
"Eeeeeew! Yeah I know that one." Bart replies.
"I can read palms too."
"Ok..." Bart lets her read his palm.
"There's the church and (spits on his hand) there's the swimming pool!"
"That's gross! I'll never wash this hand..."
Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph arrived.
”Hey Shrimp got the new babe before us! Beat it dork!” said Kearney.
”That’s Kearney.” said Bart to Laura.
”Kearney I don’t think I’m your type, and I think your boyfriend might get jealous...” said Laura accusing the bullies of being gay.
”What the?!” Kearney gasped.
”That chick is messing with our minds!” Jimbo explained and the bullies left.
”Who are those creeps?” Laura asked.
”That’s Jimbo Jones and his cronies Dolph and Kearney.” said Bart. “Jimbo’s a bully at school.”
Bart has a flashback where he is wearing a green shirt. Jimbo is giving him a swirly. Stuffing his head down a toilet and flushing it.
”I scheduled to give you a swirly shrimp! Oh you’re in luck... this toilet is clean. Oh well.” Jimbo said as he stuffed Bart’s head down the toilet and flushed.
Bart hasn't washed his hand in weeks. It is now covered in gum and dirt.
"Eeeew! Bart! That's disgusting!" Lisa yells.
"Wooooooo!" Bart makes a monster sound and chases after her with his hand.
She runs off screaming, but Bart trips and gets his hand stuck to the dog's fur. Santa's little helper drags Bart with him. “Um help?” Bart whined as the dog dragged him along.
As punishment for scaring Lisa, Marge took Bart with her to see the new neighbors. Marge had a basket of gifts.
"Hey Bart." said Laura.
Laura's mother Ruth introduced herself.
Marge gave her the basket of gifts. Mostly fruit, baked goods and a free beer coupon for Moe's...
Ruth spoke about getting away from her ex husband (and Laura's father) who was a deadbeat dad.
At Home Homer was watching a commercial for the Frying Dutchman, a fish and seafood restaurant owned by Captain McCallister, aka Sea Captain.
“Ahoy, mateys. Had your fill of tacos? Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat than another burger? Then come for all-you-can-eat seafood at The Frying Dutchman.” said Sea Captain.
”Arrrrrrrrr me hearties!” said Oscar and his teddy bear creature enthusiastically.
"Aaaarrrr! We have all you can eat seafood!" said Sea Captain.
Homer liked the sound of that and moaned joyfully.
"More iced tea?" Captain McCallister asked a customer.
"Yes please." said the lady.
Sea captain laughed "Arrrrr hahahaharrrrrr!" Like an old sea dog while he poured her a glass of iced tea.
Homer wanted to go and booked it for their night out.
"Homer I don't like fish, and Bart's allergic to shrimp." Marge doesn't approve of their night out.
"The kids aren't coming. It's supposed to be a romantic night for just us." Homer explains.
”Awwwwww! But it has a cool old sea dog guy that talks like a cartoon pirate! Arrrrrrrr!” Oscar whined.
”Quiet boy!” said Homer.
“But I think I'm allergic to seafood!” said Marge. “The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up, and I went into convulsions.”
“Mom that was Bart at the Rusty Barnacle. We were horrified when it happened.” said Lisa.
“Mmm, shrimp.” Homer moaned with joy.
”Homer...” Marge sighed.
”Marge please...” Homer whined.
"Oh. And I just know who can babysit!" Marge replied.
Laura arrives. "I'm looking after you kiddos so be nice." she addresses Bart in particular.
"Hey, I'm my own man!" Bart replies. “I don’t need a babysitter!”
"Bart, it's nearly bedtime! I've laid out your jammie-jams on your bed!" comes Marge's voice. Bart blushes with embarrassment as Laura and Lisa laugh.
"Aaaaawww! You're so cute! Come ere!" Oscar squees and hugs him.
"Oscar! Personal space!" Bart whines.
That evening Bart's having a bath.
"Are you just bathing to please your girlfriend?" Lisa smirks.
"No a fella needs to keep looking yellow every once in a while." Bart replied as he scrubs himself. However Lisa started making kissy sounds so he reveals he still hasn't cleaned his hand and scares her away.
”The hand!!!” Bart bellows.
”Aaaaaaagh!” Lisa screams and flees.
Later when he's in his pyjamas he puts on his dressing gown and plays with his bubble pipe.
"What is that supposed to be, a Hugh Hefner impression? Cute toy pipe..." Laura comments. Bart rolls his eyes as he blows a few bubbles.
Later Bart and Lisa bicker while watching TV.
“Bart! I want to watch The Happy Little Elves! You’ve watched what you wanted all evening!” said Lisa whining.
Bart shows her his filthy gum and spit covered hand. “The hand Lisa! The hand! It controls me!!” Bart said in a spooky manner pointing his disgusting hand at her.
Lisa screamed and ran off. Bart laughed and sat down to watch whatever he was watching.
Homer and Marge arrive at the Frying Dutchman, Captain McCallister's all you can eat fish restaurant.
"Arrr! What will you be having?" The captain asks.
"All you can eat! All you can eat!" Homer yells.
"Right this way sir!" The captain guides him to the buffet dishes. Homer immediately takes the metal tray with calimari and a plastic lobster.
"Please sir! Not the tray!" A chef begs.
"Hrrrm. I'll start with the bread..." Eventually it's closing time, but Homer is still eating.
"I don't get it! Does this walrus ever stop eating?" Captain McCallister asks. Homer is still eating while Marge sits there embarrassed. "Ye must leave now! We're closing!"
"Can't talk, eating." Homer is still eating. The staff then drag him out. "Noooooooo!" He tries to get back in but they drag him out again.
"Homer! It's late! Let's go home...
The next day Homer calls Lionel Hutz.
"Mr Simpson! I haven't seen such injustice since the film Neverending Story! I'll be happy to take your case." Lionel explained.
"Woohoo!" Homer cheers.
The next day Homer and Marge go to court because Homer is suing the Frying Dutchman for not letting him have all you can eat.
Laura is looking after the kids. Err in the canon scene she thinks it's night for some reason and asks for them to be early to bed before Jimbo arrives...
Uh... it's midday Laura and that hasn't happened yet until Powers That Be.
Captain McCallister presents his case showing just how much food Homer ate that night. Many sacks of shrimp are brought in.
However they're letters to Santa...
"You want the people of Springfield vs Chris Cringle! That case is next door!" said Judge Snyder.
Blue haired lawyer asked Marge if it was true that Homer once consumed an entire bag of flour when there was no food in the house.
"I've asked enough questions." said Blue haired lawyer dismissing himself.
Marge then makes a statement under oath.
"Now Mrs Simpson, where did you and your husband go after being removed from the frying Dutchman. May I remind you you're under oath." Lionel explains.
"We drove around till 2 am trying to find another all you can eat fish restaurant." Marge explained.
"What did you do when you couldn't find one?"
"We went fishing..." she cries in embarrassment.
"Your honour, does that look like the actions of someone who truly had all they could eat?" Lionel asks the judge.
"He ate two plastic lobsters as well!" Captain McCallister yells.
"Silence in court! The jury may leave to consider its verdict!" Judge Snyder yells banging his gavel.
Fortunately Homer won his case and the restaurant came to an arrangement that he could eat as much as liked as a freak exhibition.
"Come! See Nature's cruelest mistake! Stay for the fish!" The captain announced.
"I heard they shaved a gorilla." A man says in the crowd.
Homer and Marge are sat by a window while crowds take photos of Homer eating. Marge hides in embarrassment as Homer eats.
"Come on Marge, let everyone see your pretty face!" Homer continues eating.
Laura is taking Bart, Lisa and Oscar out to buy a video to watch while she babysits them.
"Found one!" Lisa picks Happy Little Elves: return of the Curious Bear Cub.
"Bleh!" Bart gags in disgust at her choice of film.
"Now Bart, I think that's rather cute film. A bit sickly though..." Laura explained.
"Well I want this!" Bart picks an R rated violent film.
"Nice try kiddo, but you're parents will go nuts if I let you watch that."
"Oooh! What's this? The Neverending Story. Guaranteed legally to be never ending." Oscar asks. It's a new edition ordered by court to be made.
"If Lionel Hutz won that court case, I wouldn't be surprised. What about you, Bart? Or is it to babyish for you..." Laura remarks.
"Fine..." Bart pouts.
They go home to watch their films. Bart soon gets bored of crappy little elves so he watches Oscar's choice of film. Once Marge and Homer get home they're still both up watching it past midnight!
"Bart! You should be asleep by now!" Marge yells.
"This films been running for 8 hours, and it's still going." Oscar comments. "Even the actor playing Atreyu has had enough!" Atreyu's actor is whining that he's exhausted and asks when the film will end. The film is currently in a hackneyed added on scene that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. There's a story between Falcor and a female dragon falling in love and Atreyu's horse came back to life for the 3rd time in the film.
"Well it's time for bed you two! Lights out!" Marge turns off their film.
In the dark as they're sleeping top and tail.
"Hey Oz, what does the guy who sings the theme tune of the Neverending story do now?" Bart asked.
“Limahl? Oh he’s still doing great. Got a new single out.” said Oscar.
“Oh.” said Bart.
The next day Bart and Lisa are watching cartoons.
”Eeeeeeeew! Bart! Wash that hand!” Lisa groaned because Bart still had spit and gum and other stuff on it.
”I’m sorry Lisa, but I am no longer in control of that hand. The hand controls me!!” Bart said dramatically while chasing her across the living room.
”Agggggghhhhh! Daaaad!” Lisa screamed.
”Can it! You little monsters!” Homer yelled.
”Okay, the one literal little monster we have....” said Homer.
Bart and Lisa were supposed to be at school but Oscar gave Marge, Homer and Lisa amnesia so they’d forget what their supposed to be doing today. At school a boy called Bastian was being chased by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
”It’s wedgie time, dork!” said Jimbo.
Bastion hid in the utility rooms that go around the school. They were strangely labyrinthine.
”Ach! Kids aren’t supposed to be in here!” said Willie working.
But Bastion went up to the school’s attic and read a big book called the Never Ending Story.
In the Never Ending Story, Atreyu was chatting to a guy in a top hat and coattails riding a giant snail and nearby was a friendly rock golem. I watched the movie and the cartoon numerous times so I know all of this.
I don’t know what the discussion was but it probably involved Atreyu’s legend of monster slaying or something.
Then he returned to his palace and a wise old sage explains to the hot princess that a great Nothing is devouring the universe into a state of nothing! Basically the universe is falling apart. Atreyu is given a magic pendant that protects him all harm and he goes on a quest to stop the great nothing!
Then some stuff happened and an evil wolf wants to eat Atreyu. Then his horse died in the Swamps of Sadness by drowning in the sinking mud by giving up to his own depression and got swallowed up by the mud.
Oscar masturbated furiously.
”Moooooom! Oscar’s getting horny from watching quicksand scenes on the TV again...” Bart groaned.
”Oscar! Stop that! You’re a child! How are you having those urges?!” Marge yelled.
Bart and Lisa then bickered over cartoon watching time. Bart was watching Itchy and Scratchy.
”Baaaaaart! I want to watch the Happy Little Elves!” Lisa whined.
”The haaaaaaaaaaaand!” Bart bellowed showing his filthy mouldy hand. With gum and stuff on it.
”Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Lisa screamed. She ran out the room.
Bart laughed deviously. He sighed as he watched his cartoon.
Meanwhile Martin and Milhouse were selling lemons and lemonade.
”I don’t want your damn lemons! I want life! I’m talking to Life’s manager!” Cave Johnson yelled.
Elsewhere in Never Ending Story A giant turtle kept sneezing hurricanes that blew Atreyu out of a tree and into a slimy pool of mud in the swamp of sadness. Because it was allergic to youth.
Then he got exhausted swimming through the bog and the wolf nearly got him but a giant furry dragon called Falcor rescued him.
Falcor laughed heartedly and took him to an old wise man in the desert. Atreyu then had to pass several gates. The first had golden statues that fire lasers at you!! Atreyu gulped as he witnessed them annihilate a poor knight on his horse.
Atreyu thankfully got past the golden gate. The next was the magic mirror which shows your true nature.
Bastion, the boy in the attic reading about Fantasia was horrified the mirror showed him as cruel tyrannical king standing over the corpse of Atreyu.
“You flipping kill me?!” Atreyu yelled.
”Yeah in The Never Ending Story II you argue, he has a tantrum and pushes you off a cliff...” said Oscar.
At the Simpsons Marge calls Laura over because she’s going out for dinner with her husband again.
”Oh Baaaaart! Give your pretty babysitter a kiss and I’ll tuck you in! (Smooching noises)” Lisa teased him.
”Silence!!” Bart yelled and showed his filthy hand to her.
Lisa screamed and fled.
”Bart you really should wash that hand now....” Oscar groaned in disgust.
Meanwhile in Neverending Story.
”Bastian, every time you use that orb, you lose some of your memories...” Atreyu warned him.
”It’s my orb!” Bastian had an orb of some kind.
”Gimne that orb!” Atreyu tried to take it.
”No it’s mine!” Bastian yelled.
Meanwhile the Nothing wiped out more of Fantasia including the snail riding man and the opening characters. And the friendly rock golems! Noooooo!
Any so besides the golden gate of Sphinxes with laser eyes!! There was the magic mirror that shows your true nature.
The gate of riddles.
”How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” The gate asked.
”Uh....” Atreyu was confused.
”Gimme my orb!” Bastian threw a tantrum.
The No Key Gate.
”There’s no key for this gate! You busts of the founding fathers of America, we need to find a key...” Bastian asks The Founding Fathers.
”Find the key! Find the key! Find the beautiful key!” They sing.
Then the Gateless Gate where Tony Jay doesn’t shut up!
”Try as you might, you can’t escape your fate! You’ll never pass the gate less gate!” Tony Jay boomed from somewhere.
Peter Shepherd winced.
A following night Laura baby sat again.
”The Haaaaaaand!” Bart scares Lisa with his filthy hand. She ran off screaming.
”Kids what shall we get for dinner?” Laura asked.
”Dunno ask Hef,” said Lisa as Bart dressed up as Hugh Hefner again.
”I pity you Lis, you’re doomed to failure...” said Bart smoking his bubble pipe.
”And you’re doomed to fancy older women...” said Lisa.
”The haaaaaaand!” Bart scared Lisa with his filthy hand again.
Laura ordered tome foreign crap,
“We used to eat this when my dad was stationed in "Vandihar." Take your kaftab'Sounieh and dip it in the labneh.” said Laura.
”Now, that is good labneh.“ said Bart dipping some kind of food in a dip.