My Sister, My Sitter Lisa gets a job babysitting after Ned is so pleased with her after she looks after his son's. However when Marge suggests she babysits when the can't find a sitter Bart and Hugo firmly remind her they're the oldest so she reluctantly puts them in charge, much to Lisa's chagrin as they're irresponsible.
Lisa and her friends are reading the babysitter club books. Meanwhile Bart has formed a gang called the Hole in underwear gang and made his treehouse their fortress. (His gang is just Milhouse, Database, Martin and Nelson) However they're annoyingly singing campfire style songs which is Why Oscar won't play with them. Homer goes outside to retrieve Maggie from the bin, yes she was in the garden bin for some reason...
“Glory, glory, hallelujaaaaah! Teacher hit me with her ruler... so I cracked her on the bean with a frozen Jimmy Dean, and she ain’t my teacher no moooooore!” Bart and his lame friends sung.
“Because she’s deeeeead...” sung Nelson doing a guitar solo.
"Will you stop geeking up the treehouse?! And why are the school nerds in your gang?! And why is Nelson not whaling on them?!" Oscar ranted.
"Bart promised to let me be a cybernetic super soldier from the future the next time we play cowboys and Indians..." said Nelson.
"I did not!" Bart retorted.
“Any way,” Bart was reading the minutes of the last meeting. “Now the minutes of the last meeting, Milhouse will you do the honours?” Bart asked.
“Girls are yucky, secondly a fart was detected and Martin denied it so was ruled to have supplied it.” said Milhouse.
“Homer you really need to stop putting Maggie in the garden bin...” said Marge as if this was normal. I have no idea why she was in there in Ol yella belly so this is my theory.
“Fine...” Homer sighed and watched Tv. Kent was showing random hilarious clips.
“The first two story outhouse!” Two men go into two outhouses, (An external toilet in a small hut.) stacked on top of each other. Homer hears screaming from the TV. He bursts into hysterical laughter. “Ahahahaha! Two story outhouse! Ahahahaha!”
“The vampire nurse who’s laughing to the blood bank!” A vampiress dressed as a nurse cackles evilly as she heads to a hospital blood bank.
“But first, move over Baltimore because Springfield has taken one of your ideas!” said Kent.
“A musical film about a cross dressing John Travolta in a seventies housewife wig?!” Homer gasped in horror.
“For one night only the Squidport pier will become a host to a festival night!” said Kent.
Homer sighed with relief.
In her room Lisa decided she liked the idea of a babysitter's club that she decided she wanted to be a babysitter.
”They do the coolest things! They arrested the counterfeiters, saved the president’s life and made four dollars!” said Lisa reading.
”And full refrigerator access!” said Janey.
”That’s a trust Janey... a sacred trust...” said Lisa.
”Whatever...” said Janey,
However because of her age no one would hire her. She even tried to advertise in church.
“And for those who want to party down, Friday at six pm sharp head down to the church basement for the Jesus rock stylings of Testament!” said Lovejoy advertising a Christian Rock band.
“Pssssh! All the best rock bands are owned by Satan...” said Bart listening to conventional rock on his Walkman. The kind still shunned by grownups for being a bad influence.
“Bart!” Marge scolded him.
”Why won’t anyone call?” Lisa whined.
”Hmmmmmm! Sweetie people don’t want a little girl to babysit. They want someone who can handle anything and not be over powered by their charge/kid they are looking after. That’s why they hire a teenager! Isn’t that right Roslyn from Calvin and Hobbes?” Marge asked Calvin’s babysitter.
”Yup.” said Roslyn carrying Calvin under her arm up to his room or something. He was scowling.
”But I am very responsible an mature for my age! People often mistake me for being nine!” said Lisa.
”Oh Lisa, you still watch Happy Little Elves and collect all the plushies and love Malibu Stacy dolls! How is that mature for your age?!” Marge retorted.
Lisa sighed and hugged her Bubbles the elf plushie.
However Ned was in a desperate situation when he went over to the Simpsons.
"Homer, I'm in a bit of a pickle! Maude and her mother went on holiday for a sabbatical and must have made a wrong turn and are being held by militants of some sort!" Ned asked.
"Militants eh?" Homer asked. “If I were you, I’d kick their asses!”
"Cooool! Aloha Snackbar ones?" Oscar asked. Oscar those don't exist yet...
"Anyway while I'm gone someone needs to look after the boys." said Ned.
"Forget it." Said Homer.
"Daaaaad! This could help my career as a babysitter!" Lisa begged.
"Okay fine. For the sake of entertainment, I'm gonna allow my eight year old daughter babysit." said Homer.
"Dad I'm more mature than most kids my age. I'm even more mature than Bart and Hugo..." said Lisa.
Bart and Hugo were smooshed up at the front windows pulling faces.
Lisa then arrived at the Flanderses when asked to.
"Hi diddly ho Lisa. Now Rod and Todd are grounded this evening because Rod watched a naughty programme somehow and Todd took all day to tell me. I'll see you later. Buy bye!" Ned drove off to rescue Maude from the Aloha snackbars that don't exist yet.
Lisa asked Rod and Todd what they wanted to do.
"Sit here all night like good boys!" said Todd.
"Um, how about we play a boardgame?" Lisa looked through their board games. They were all religious ones. Except one.
"We can't play that because there's a cartoon devil on the box." said Rod.
Some time later a moth scared them.
"Moth! Moth! Moth!" The Flanders boys screamed at a harmless moth.
"Boys it's just a moth. It's no more dangerous than a ladybug." said Lisa.
"Ladybug?!" Rod and Todd screamed.
Eventually she got them to pray and go to bed. She read a book because the TV was locked out except for a religious channel with veggitalea on constantly... mmmmmm religious vegetables...
She then put Rod and Todd to bed.
”Miss Lisa, tell us a bedtime story.” said Rod.
”Okay this is a story about a robot called Rod...” said Lisa.
”And did he have a brother?” Told asked.
”Yes and he had a brother called Todd who was also a robot...” said Lisa.
Ned and Maude came home. They were pleased to find the house quiet and Lisa watching over Rod and Todd who were asleep soundly.
"Wow Lisa, you kept the the boys calm during a moth incident?! I'm impressed!" said Ned.
"Well if you could put in a good word for me, I'll be happy to look after Rod and Todd again!" said Lisa.
Luckily for Lisa he did as everyone wanted Lisa to look after their kids. She had a successful night looking after ex Dr Hibbert's youngest kids.
”Ahehehehe! Lisa I’m impressed! You didn’t even go through my refrigerator! Not like Janey...” said Dr Hibbert.
”I’m just respecting your boundaries Dr Hibbert.” said Lisa.
Meamwhile Bart terrorised another babysitter.
”Bart I said go to bed...” the babysitter sighed.
”Ooooooooh.... I thought you said go to bread...” said Bart eating a slice of bread.
”Aaaaaagh! Gluten!” Oscar screamed.
”I said go to bed!” snapped the annoyed babysitter.
Bart was found a few minutes later jumping on Lisa’s bed. “You didn’t say who’s bed...”
”Go to your bed!” The babysitter snapped.
Then just after midnight Bart snuck some food up to his room and fed some to Teddy.
”Bart no! Remember what the Chinese man said...” Hugo warned him.
”But he’s hungry! And what’s the worst that could happen...?” Bart fed Teddy some chicken. He turned into a gremlin and caused utter chaos!
”What on Earth?!” The babysitter gasped as the gremlin smashed up the place.
She even looked after Ralph, her ex boyfriend somehow...
"He's not my boyfriend!" Lisa yelled at the fourth wall.
Anyhoo she was in the hall asking Ralph if he was in his pyjamas yet. Ralph came out of his room with his footed pyjamas on upside down looking at her from the butt flap hole.
"I dress myself!" said Ralph.
Lisa wondered what she saw in Ralph when they were going out...
One night Marge couldn't find a babysitter. So she suggested Lisa.
"Hold on! I'm the oldest!" said Bart.
"Joint oldest!" added Hugo.
"Yeah, we should be in charge, not Lisa!" said Bart. Hugo nodded.
"Mom! You're not seriously gonna listen to them! They're highly irresponsible! Why last week-!"
"Lisa be quiet and do as your older brothers tell you!" said Homer.
Lisa growled and stormed off to her room.
Marge glared at Homer.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Homer asked.
”Dr Pepper.....” Oscar sung.
”Stop singing commercials! We have to pay royalties every time you do!” Homer snapped.
After Homer and Marge went Bart and Hugo celebrated. Then Hugo had one of his evil moods.
"You're getting that psycho look again Hugo... you're not tying me to a pool table in the attic and trying to perform reattachment surgery on us again!" Bart warned him.
"And just to be sure I'm confiscating your ball of yarn and needle." said Oscar swiping a ball of yarn and a needle from Hugo.
"So Oscar, you ever considered babysitting?" Bart asked.
"No I can't stand runny noses or dirty diapers." said Oscar. "Plus one of the timelines where my parents died was when they caught me watching an R rated horror film in front of their friend's kids..."
"I hope you weren't responsible for their deaths..." Bart gulped.
"Why not?" Hugo added. Bart gave him a concerned look. "What? I'm the evil twin!"
"Uh no Bart is. His scar is on the left!" Oscar explained.
"You mean I spent ten years locked up for no reason?!" Hugo ranted.
"I'm sorry, it's not my fault your parents were cruel." Oscar comforted Hugo.
"Oz my parents are not cruel. Well maybe Homer..." Bart sighed.
Homer is laughing evilly as he tries to run over a squirrel.
“Homer! Leave the poor squirrel alone!” Marge told him off.
“Oh...” Homer groaned and turned the car back to wherever they were supposed to be going to on a night out. In the canon version it was the town pier.
Soon it was dinner time.
"Bart, we need dinner. May I suggest something healthy and vegetarian?" Lisa asked.
"No! We're having takeaway!" said Bart. They got pizza, a meat lovers pizza. Lisa sighed and made herself tofu or something vegetarian. Then she poured Maggie a bowl of baby food to eat.
Bart, Hugo and Oscar were watching TV while eating pizza.
Oscar got bored and put on an R rated film. It was clearly supposed to be Scream because it was Ghostface growling and lunging a knife.
"Oscar! That's an R rated film! Oh god! Blood!" said Lisa covering Maggie's eyes.
"Well don't watch it then!" Bart told here. "Cooool! That lady died!"
Lisa stormed out.
"You think she's off to rat on us?" Hugo asked.
"Unlikely as I've disabled all of the house phones. I'll reenable them if you two want to prank Moe.
"I knew there was something I forgot to do!" Bart spat out some of his soda.
Meanwhile at the pier Homer was admiring the shops and restaurants.
“Hey even Moe moved here!” Homer noticed a building labelled Moe’s however it was a long winded tunnel all the way back to downtown Springfield where Moe’s remained next to King Toots as usual.
“Well this is rather disappointing...” said a man as he arrived from the tunnel.
“Shut up and order something...” said Moe rudely.
“Homer watch out!” Marge warned Homer at the pier as he walked into the annoying floor fountains.
Homer screamed as he got trapped by the floor fountains as they sprayed water upwards in annoying patterns.
Marge sighed as he danced about trying to avoid the gushes of water as people laughed at him.
The Simpsons house. Bart, Hugo and Oscar are up to no good as usual.
They listened as Bart make a prank call to Moe. He made another threatening remark at the unknown prankster that he still hadn't realised was Bart. Bart, Hugo and Oscar laughed and put the phone down.
Soon it was bed time. However Bart, Hugo and Oscar were still up.
"Bart at least go to your room and do something quiet for the night! Maggie and I are trying to sleep!" Lisa sighed as Bart had loud rock music playing.
”Well I want to listen to music! This record is hot!” said Bart rocking out to music.
Eventually she snapped and turned off his music.
"Hey!" Bart yelled.
"That's it! Bed now!" Lisa yelled.
She tried to drag Bart but he laid down and let her try to drag him.
"Bart what are you doing?!" Lisa yelled.
"Using nonviolent resistance." said Bart.
"I can't believe you're comparing yourself to Gandhi!" Lisa yelled letting go of Bart.
"Who?" Bart asked.
Lisa growled but before she could throttle him for his ignorance the door bell rang. "Who could be at this hour?!"
“And boys go to bed!” Lisa added sharply as she left to answer the door,
After she went to answer the door. "Bart, I really need to to teach you how to play Civilisation..." Oscar sighed.
"Does that have Gandhi in it?" Bart asked.
"Yes, but it's fun not at all educational. Well it only teaches the fun gory bits like how Aztecs performed bloody sacrifices like cutting out human hearts!"
"Cooooool!" said Hugo.
At the pier Homer and Marge decided what to have for dinner.
“Ooooooh! A French restaurant... a Thai...“ said Marge.
“Sweetie they all use the same miscellaneous meat, it doesn’t matter, you pick what you want and I’ll pick what I want.” said Homer.
Marge sighed. “Okay.” She went to the French restaurant and ordered a French dish.
Homer went to an Asian restaurant and ordered beef teriyaki.
The Squeaky Voiced Teen sighed and called down to somewhere the orders.
In the basements of the pier chefs picked out a miscellaneous meat that served the role for all meat dishes regardless of what they were. Oh my goodness! Imagine if someone was Jewish! XD!
Lisa answered the door. Krusty bursted in laughing. "Okay who's ready for an all night stand up comedy rodeo Krusty style?"
Lisa was shocked. But it got worse.
"Here's a eight foot long sandwich, all the trimmings, swimming in vinegar for a Mr I P Freely at 742 Evergreen Terrace." said a team of takeaway deliverers.
Then some surgeons arrived.
"We're here to amputate a Lisa Simpson's buttocks?!" asked the surgeons. "And apparently Bart you're dying of leprosy?"
"I'll pay you guys fifty dollars if you amputate her voice box too!" Oscar added.
"Do you guys do conjoined twins reattachment procedures?" Hugo asked.
"Hugo no!" Bart yelled.
Then an ambassador from Nigeria arrived.
"I'm here to see the king of Zambia." said the ambassador.
"Well he's not here!" Lisa yelled.
"Why would the king lie to me?!" gasped the ambassador.
Then two shady government agents arrived.
"Miss Lisa Simpson? Apparently you reported seeing an alien."
"I saw nothing!!" Lisa yelled.
One agent had an injection needle ready. His partner waved at him to put it away as wouldn't be needing it. "Yes. You saw nothing..." the agent warned her ominously.
Then some cultists in black robes arrived in robes with a goat.
"Right in there, fellas." said Bart.
The cultists thanked him in Latin and went in the living room.
"That's it! Bart get rid of all these people or you're in serious trouble when Mom and Dad get home!" Lisa yelled.
"Lisa go to your room!" Bart, Hugo and Oscar yelled.
Lisa cried and stormed off to her room.
Bart rang the house phone. “Yeah I’d like to hold an A.A meeting.” An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting...
Homer and Marge came home to find Lisa traumatised and sitting on the front door step like in the canon version of Brother's little Helper. They were concerned.
"Lisa, why are you still up at this hour? And where's Bart and the others?" Marge asked.
"Bart's being really bad! Look what he's done inside!" Lisa ratted on Bart.
Inside they found some satanic cultists praying over a bloody dead goat lying in a blood red pentagram surrounded with candles. Oscar struggling to consume part of a hoagie sandwich while his Toon Quiffy easily swallowed most of the hoagie. Some very angry surgeons and an ambassador. And Krusty doing stand up comedy. And alcoholics holding a sobriety meeting discussing their problems with drinking etc. Barney was there belching and Ned was once again lamenting over calling Ann Landers an old biddy.
"Baaaaaart!" Homer yelled.
The next morning.
"Bart you're grounded and I shouldn't have trusted your father! Homer you must know Bart's not to be trusted with such things!" Marge yelled.
"I'm so disappointed in you boy!" He strangles Bart. "Why can't I have faith in you to just behave! Mess my house up will you?!"
As punishment he was grounded for a ridiculous amount of time that you’d expect to here in those lame Goanimate animations on YouTube.
”Bart! You’re grounded grounded grounded! For five sextillion years!” said everyone animated in the GoAnimate graphics engine.
”Oh god! It’s hideous!” Oscar screamed.
And of course his mom and dad could no longer trust him or Hugo.
Bart was in his treehouse looking stroppy and sulking.
“Just ignore the Incredible Sulk. He abused Mom and Dad’s trust and now they won’t trust him anymore with babysitting.” said Lisa.
“Oh...” said Janie and Wanda.
“I love these Babysitter twins books! They foiled the kidnappers, rescued the president and made four dollars!” said Lisa reading The Babysitter Club’s parody for copyright skirting The Babysitter Twins.
Bart stuck his tongue out at Lisa.
Downstairs Hugo was sat on a small stool facing the corner while Marge and Homer angrily tidied up Bart’s mess from last night.
“R rated horror movies?! A ridiculously long hoagie sandwich!”
“Endless Hoagie sandwich! Mmmmmmmmm! Impossible Hoagie...” Homer wanted to eat the hoagie.
“Homer no! Remember last time when you kept that hoagie until it went mouldy and purple and you got sick from eating it...” Marge sighed.
“Besides there’s not much left. Quiffy ate most of it, because he’s a toon.” said Oscar.
“Oscar why didn’t you and Hugo stop Bart from doing all this?” Marge sighed clearing up rubbish and vacuuming a sleeping Krusty.
“Because it was sort of funny... especially when it infuriated Lisa... and, the more extreme and bizarre ideas Bart came up with like tricking the ambassador of Nigeria...” said Oscar.
Marge sighed. “I thought I told you cultists to scram!” She yelled at some Satanists sacrificing a goat on a bloody pentagram. They fled.
“Hugo keep facing that wall!” Homer shouted at Hugo.
The door rang. “Now who could that be?” Homer asked.
To his dismay it was Ned Flanders.
“Homer I have a Fozzie bear of a problem,” said Ned.
“Wakka! Wakka!” said Fozzie Bear.
“Go away Fozzie...” Homer growled not in the mood.
“Okay! Wakka! Wakka!” And Fozzie left.
Ned’s problem involved a bear chewing his mail box and him needing a babysitter tonight.
“Oh Lisa can do that! She was great around yours!” said Homer.
“She certainly was a star Homer!” Ned agreed.
“Now hold on! Ned I don’t want to doubt my own daughter’s wonderful job helping the community. But she had a little wobble last night when I stupidly listened to my husband and left the boys in charge...” said Marge.
Ned whistled a long low whistle when he saw the state the hall was in.
“Shut up Flanders...” Homer groaned at his whistling.
“But Mom! Rod and Todd are little angels compared to Bart. I can handle them!” said Lisa.
“Hmmmmmm! Lisa, I think eight years old is too young to babysit. Parents need someone they can rely on to lay down the law on bedtimes and not eave messes like we came home to last night... that’s why they hire teenagers! Isn’t that right Roslyn from Calvin and Hobbes?”
Calvin sulked as Roslyn carried him under her arm to his room.
“Of course Ma’am. Babysitters need to be bigger than their charges...” said Roslyn.
“Pleeeeeeasssse Mom!” Lisa asked.
“Well... Todd has started pinching lately...” said Ned.
The female post man who hates Bart was delivering mail to the Flanders when Todd ran out and pinched her butt. She gasped in horror.
Lisa grimaced. “I‘m sure I Can manage him Mr Flanders...”
“Well okilly dokilly!” said Ned.
“Very well Lisa... If you insist...” said Marge. “Pinching honestly... where does that boy learn that...”
Unfortunately Todd was strangely being naughty for the sake of hilarity. Yes in this episode’s canon counterpart Todd is said have started pinching. Whether that meant stealing or physically pinching people I dunno, I’m going with the latter.
Lisa was making dinner for Rod and Todd that evening when she was left in charge, when Todd in an impish mood for some reason decided to pinch Lisa.
“Ow! Todd! You mustn’t pinch people! That hurt!” Lisa whined. “And don’t ever pinch a girl down there...”
“I’m sorry Miss Lisa! Todd has been in a very odd mood lately...” said Rod.
“I don’t suppose it had anything to do with sugar, did it...” Lisa asked.
“No! Surely not! Mommy and Daddy won’t let us have sugar!” said Rod.
“Well you two find something to do while I make dinner...” said Lisa.
Then at dinner.
“Todd would you like some more vegetables...” Lisa asked.
“Hell no! I don’t want any damn vegetables!” Todd swore. By Ned’s standards.
“Todd!! That’s very rude! Apologise to Miss Lisa now!” Rod yelled.
“Hell no! And your meatloaf sucks!” Todd yelled.
“Right that’s it! Go to your room Todd!” Lisa was in no mood for bad behaviour. Fortunately for her the Flanders boys were a lot more passive than Bart and Todd ran to his room crying. “You think I was too harsh?”
“I dunno... you’re the boss tonight Miss Lisa.” said Rod.
“Indeed I am...” said Lisa smugly.
Lisa told Ned what happened.
“Well... I kinda hoped Todd would behave tonight but... at least you handled things! Lisa you’re a star!” Ned paid her and put a good word in with her mom and dad.
“Well, normally those boys are easy to take care of. I just don’t get why Todd acted out tonight!” said Lisa at scrabble night. “He was pinching me... and swearing at dinner...”
“I don’t know where he gets it from...” said Marge.
“Boy you’re sucking tonight Homer...” said Bart not addressing his dad correctly.
“Damn straight!” said Homer.
“Hrrrrrmmmmm!” Marge and Lisa grumbled annoyed.