Simpsons Fanon

My Fair Laddy Bart gets a horrible new gym teacher who likes to play bombardment. (Throwing dodgeballs extremely hard at students) so to get him back, Bart freezes a dodgeball full of water to make an ice ball. However when he throws it at the teacher it misses and destroys Willie’s shack.

Bart lets Willie stay at his house because he feels bad that he broke his shack. During hijinks, including Willie using his Freddy Krueger powers again. Lisa tries to teach him to be civilised so he can get a better job. She’s successful and Willie goes off to get a better job as a maitre De at the Pimento Olive. Much to Llewellyn Sinclair’s annoyance.

However Willie soon wants his old job back.


It was gym class for fourth grade.

“Class Mrs Pommel horse has an important announcement so listen well.” said Skinner.

“Mrs Pommel horse... I’d like to get down now...” said a little girl hanging from the ceiling rings for doing acrobat swings.

“Uh just ignore the first grader, Willie will help her later.” said Skinner.

Mrs Pommel Horse has something to say. “Class, I am taking a leave of absence. When I return, it will be as your new wood shop teacher, Mr Pommel horse!”

“We’re telling you kids this now so you’ll get used to it and not make fun.” said Skinner.

“Looks like there’ll be some new wood in Wood shop class!” said Nelson.

Everyone laughed.

“That is precisely the kind of crude wordplay I’m trying to avoid!” said Skinner. “Hehehehe... New Wood...”

“Coool! She’ll be a freak! Man lady! Man lady! Man lady!” Oscar taunted Mrs Pommel horse.

“Tamaki stop that at once!” Skinner told him off.

“This is your new gym teacher. coach Krupt.” said Mrs Pommel horse introducing a tough no nonsense male gym teacher.

“Class, today we play a new game. A game as old as pain itself.” said Coach Krupt.

“What is it?” Martin asked.

“A little game called bombardment.” said Coach Krupt.

“I’m intrigued! What are the rules?” Milhouse asked.

“Duck or dive!” Coach Krupt yelled throwing dodgeballs extremely hard at the fourth graders.

They yelped as they got hit. Wendell even cried.

Database tried to hide his face only to get winded by a ball to the stomach and then his face.

Bart got knocked out.

“Son are you alright?” Coach Krupt asked.

“I think so...” Bart groaned.

“Bombardment!” Coach Krupt threw a ball at him.


Hugo caught the ball. “I caught it!

“Bombardment!” Coach Krupt threw four balls at him that hit his face knocking him out. “Pay attention son! Distraction is a fatal weakness in times of war!”


One morning Bart was shaking while eating his cereal.

Homer honked a ship’s klaxon horn loudly in his ear. Bart screamed.

“Homer! I told you to throw that naval stuff away! Or at least return it to whoever it belongs to!” Marge scolded Homer.

“And I said I just found it in some guy’s boat...” said Homer scaring Bart with the klaxon again.

“Sweetie if someone is bullying you tell the teacher.” said Marge to Bart.

“I can’t. It is the teacher who’s bullying me...” said Bart.

“Then tell your regular bully! He won’t like it one bit!” said Marge.

“Mom.... I can’t. He’s bullying Nelson too...” said Bart.

Marge sighed.

Homer came back in carrying a pair of blue trousers with holes in them.

“Marge... I ripped my pants! The only pants that understand my complex hiney...” said Homer.

Marge sighed. “How did that happen?!” she wondered how he got so many holes in them.

“Uh... Normal wear and tear...” Homer lied. In a flashback he was at a go kart circuit but the seat broke causing him to spread his butt against the road tearing his pants from the friction. Homer screamed in pain.

“Sir pull over! That kart is broken!” said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

“Never! I paid for my one hundred laps and I’m taking them!” said Homer while screaming in agony from his butt scraping against the road.

The flashback ended with a Marge sighing as she held his blue pants.

“I’ll have to go to every pants store in the city to get a new pair of these!” Homer groaned.

Oh Homer...” Marge comforted him.


And Homer did as no store sold blue flannel pants anymore. Even Blue Pants cafe that sold only them!

Back at Gym class, or another lesson the next day. Whatever.

Krupt was still bullying fourth grade.

“Kiss rubber loser!” said Coach Krupt throwing a dodgeball at a kid. The kid cried.

“You cry like a girl!” He threw a ball at a girl. Uh yeah there was a girl in the boys gym class...

“I am a girl!” The girl cried.

Bart grimaced wondering why a girl was in the boys gym class.

A boy cried after being hit by a ball.

“Oh come on! That was only a baby tooth!” said Coach Krupt.

More students got hit with dodgeballs while Krupt yelled Bombardment.

“How long is this gonna go on for...” Bart groaned. He saw the register. He read it. Every day was bombardment except Christmas which was double bombardment! XD!

“Like reading uh? How about bombardment? Bombardment!” Krupt caught Bart reading his register/diary and threw dodgeballs violently at him.

At home Bart was whining Bombardment in a silly high pitched baby voice.

“I’ll show him!” Bart filled a dodgeball up with water. “Hehehe! The bombarded is about to become the bombardier!”

He went to put it in the freezer but found Lisa’s saxophone in there...

“My saxophone!” Lisa cried taking her saxophone.

“Why did I put it in there in the first place?!” Bart asked.

Lisa tried to play her frozen saxophone but it got stuck to her lips.

“Oh that’s why...” Bart smirked.

“You’re a real jerk! I’m telling mom...” Lisa tried to say but her lips were stuck to the saxophone mouth piece.

Bart smirked.

“You think you have put weird things in your freezer? I once froze my sister to ice by putting a Jumanji voodoo doll in the freezer.” said Peter.

“That’s really fascinating Peter...” said Bart.


It was another bombardment filled gym class.

“I can’t wait for Christmas! We have double bombardment!” said Oscar.

The other kids glared at him.

Coach Krupt called out the register.

“Milhouse Van Houten.” said Coach Krupt.

“My doctor says no more bombardment...” said Milhouse holding a note.

“Well here’s the second opinion! Bombardment!” Coach Krupt threw a ball violently at him knocking him out.

“Nelson Muntz!” Coach Krupt asked for Nelson to say he was present.

“Go ahead! I’m drunk!” said Nelson clearly drunk.

“Well welcome to AA! Always attack ya! Bombardment!” Coach Krupt replied and threw a ball at him.

“Simpson? Simpson?! Now where has that boy got to?!” For the sake of this gag, Hugo is off sick from bombardment injuries. It’s Bart Coach Krupt was yelling for.

“Right here teach...” said Bart with an evil grin as he tapped a very hard frozen dodgeball.

“Wow! Bart has an ice ball!” said Nelson.

“What is your major malfunction Simpson?! You will defrost and drain and reinflate that dodgeball and return it to me so I can bombard you with it! Bombardment!” yelled Coach Krupt.

“Kid power!” Bart yelled. He threw the ice ball at Coach Krupt but it missed and smashed through a window. The ice ball fell onto Willie’s shack while he was inside on the toilet. He yelled and ran out just in time as the ball completely destroyed his shack.

“My shack!” Willie cried. “Why you! You’ve messed with Willie for the last time!” Willie yelled at the dodgeball and threw it, it hit his tractor and shattered it to pieces. Um...

“Awwww....” Willie groaned.


Once Willie found out Bart threw that dodgeball he tried killing him by turning into a python and squeezing the life out of Bart. Bart gasped for air as he entered a dream world version of the school where Willie’s powers worked.

“(Bart trying to breath) I’m sorry! It was an accident!” Bart gasped and wheezed.

“Ach! That’s twice you’ve wrecked my home Bart!” Willie yelled as he continued to squeeze the life out of Bart as a python.

After taking his anger out on Bart, Willie made him help rebuild his shack. Eventually the frame was done. But Bart had to go as his mom pulled up.

“I gotta go. That’s my mom.” said Bart. “I finished nailing this board for you. Oh and you’re all out of nails...” said Bart. As Bart got into his mom’s car it started to rain.

Marge felt sorry for Willie. “Would you like to stay with us?”

“I dannae need your charity! As long as I have my frying pan to keep out the rain I’ll be fine!” said Willie.

“That’s not a frying pan! That’s a Colander...” said Marge.

Willie saw he had been using a salad colander. “Ach! So that’s where me soup’s been going...” said Willie.


However Willie ended up staying at the Simpsons house.

Marge for some reason allows this.

He was already using the sofa as a bed. And was already in his pyjamas. In fact all the Simpsons were in their pyjamas.

“It’s not even that late. Captain Flamingo is still on!” said Oscar.

Bart grimaced embarrassed by Oscar.

Willie gifted Marge as thanks for giving him a place to stay a sculpture made of kids lost retainers. Eeeeew!

Marge thanked him before hurrying to the kitchen and shoving the sculpture down the garbage shredder and shredding it.

“Pardon me if I seem intrusive Willie but you seem resigned to a life of abject squalor.” said Lisa.

“Ach! It’s true. But Willie’s used to it... me whole family lived in squalor since I were a wee bairn...” said Willie. “They used to send me Grandfather down the mines to make sure it were safe for the canaries!”

“Don’t you wish for something better?” Lisa asked.

“Better?” Willie asked. Then he started singing.

“All I want is a place somewhere...”

There was a pause.

“Aaaaaand?” Lisa asked.

“That’s it.” said Willie.

“That’s pretty vague... You must want something more.” said Bart.

“Well let’s see... Ah! To have me shack rebuilt! And git all me rotten teeth all drilled!” He showed with a magnifying glass his rotten teeth. Eeeeeew!

“Eeeeeeugh!” Bart groaned.

“Something to wear under me kilt. Oh wouldn’t that be adequate?” Willie sung.

“Adequate! Adequate!” Bart and Lisa sung.

“Matching shoes on both me feet! (Willie is wearing the dog and the cat on his feet.) To eat a can of untainted meat! (He opens a can of meat. A worm pops out of the meat and gasps before retreating back into the meat.) A toilet that still has a seat!” Willie sung.

“Oh wouldn’t that be adequate?” Homer sung while on the toilet with his pants down and the door open! Eeeeew! Homer!

“Adequate! Adequate!” Bart and Lisa sung while holding up their book reports. Lisa got an A+ Bart got a D-.

“Oh wouldn’t it be adequate.” Willie finished his song.

“Well that was a great song. See ya.” Bart went off to bed.

“Wait! With the right coaching I could get Willie to be a lot more refined and be able to better himself!” said Lisa. “In fact I’ll make it my science fair project and I’ll win for sure!”

“I wouldn’t hope so Sis. Hugo’s entering the science fair too.” said Bart.

“He’s probably gonna campaign for hospitals to perform Siamese twin reattachment procedures again...” Lisa sighed. “Wish me luck!”

“Knock em dead sis.” said Bart. In a rare moment he is being nice for once!

“Thanks Bart. I think with time I can teach Willie to be refined.” said Lisa.

“Goodnight Willie.” said Bart.

‘Goodnight...” Willie hit himself with a hammer and knocked himself out.

Bart and Lisa exchanged confused looks and shrugged their shoulders.

Plot 2[]

During the night Willie woke up and laughed evilly before turning into his Freddy Krueger form.

Bart had fallen asleep watching his portable TV. Willie decided to kill him how Freddy killed Glenn. By ripping a hole through Bart’s mattress and dragging him with demonic arms into the hole.

Bart awoke with a start extremely frightened and cried for help. “Mom! Mooooom! Help! Help meeeee!” He screamed as the demonic arms dragged into the hole in his mattress.

Marge ran in to find Bart being restrained by demonic arms. She screamed.

Oscar saw this and immediately had a heart attack from extreme terror and fainted.

“Bart wake up! Wake up!” Lisa woke him. As soon as he woke Willie was pulled into the real world and his powers faded.

“Willie!” The Simpsons yelled.

“Ach! Foiled again!” said Freddy Krueger Willie.

Hugo was reviving Oscar.

Johnny Depp, Glenn’s actor was dressed as a pirate.

”Where’s the rum?” He asked.


Joyful music played over the Simpsons house the next day. Lisa had Willie in her room. She was still willing to help him despite his shenanigans last night.

“Willie in the next few weeks I’ll be teaching you poise, pronunciation and posture.” said Lisa. “Let’s see you stand up as straight as you can.”

“Ach! Well there’s a first time for everything.” said Willie getting ya from being sat at a kid’s table. With some difficulty he stood up straight cracking his joints painfully in the process. “Oh my! I’m too far off the ground! Lisa come up and help me! Agh!” He pulled down her shelves and got crushed by them.

Lisa sighed in defeat.

Meanwhile in Bart’s room. Bart was traumatised from last night when he heard an almighty crash from Lisa’s room.

“What was that?!” Bart asked.

“Willie pulling Lisa’s shelves over. It seems she’s still wanting to help Willie despite him trying to murder you last night.

“Lis! I can’t believe you!” Bart yelled running into her room. “This man tried to kill me last night.

“Which I don’t get? Why does Willie need to be a bad guy this episode?” Lisa asked.

“Because he is a bad guy... Treehouse of Horror VI’s Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace?” Oscar explained.

“Oscar that’s a Halloween episode. They’re not supposed to be canon!” said Lisa.

“Well they are. They add interesting character depths.” said Oscar.

“So Willie is just gonna be an undead dream invading supernatural murderer from now on...” Bart sighed.

“Yup!” said Oscar.

“How is that gonna help me get him to be civilised and polite?” Lisa asked annoyed.

“I dunno.” said Oscar.


Meanwhile Homer went to a pants factory and asked them to start making blue pants again. But they stopped after a disastrous advertisement showing a fat man advertising pants for men who have stopped caring about their appearance. The man slaps his own butt and it jiggles while Baby elephant walk plays.

The advert goes on for some time.

“How long does this go on for?” Homer asked.

“I don’t know! I’ve never seen the end of it!” said the owner of the factory.

Homer promised an extravagant advertisement campaign if the owner made blue pants again.

“Okay, what have I got to lose? Besides this factory that’s been in my family for generations.” said the owner.

Herbert Powell stormed in.

“No! Don’t trust this man! He’ll bankrupt you!” Herb yelled.

“Oh thanks Herb...” Homer sighed as the owner decided “okay I won’t trust this man.”


Lisa was in Willie’s shack with him. It was almost rebuilt.

“Now Willie, how do we address an archbishop?” Lisa asked reading a book with an upper class bear on the front cover.

Willie thought long and hard for a minute. “I’ll kill ye! I’ll kill all of ya!”

Lisa sighed.

“I’m sorry Lisa but none of my family were ever polite. Even my own father was rude and belligerent to me!” said Willie.

There was a flashback of Willie’s father ranting at someone. “You will never amount to anything! The best you can hope for is a school groundskeeper! Now away with ye!” Willie’s dad was yelling at baby Willie who had just been born. Hehehe! Baby Willie...

Baby Willie gurgled in Scottish.

“Would you like to cut the baby’s cord?” The nurse asked.

“Let him cut it himself! It’s time he learnt the whole world isn’t there to do things for him!” Willie’s father yelled.

And the flashback ended.

“And I never spoke to my father ever again!” Willie cried.

Outside his shack. The bullies were eavesdropping.

“What are they doing in there?!” Jimbo asked.

An upper class gentleman bear wearing a top hat and a monocle sat down on one of the playground benches while growling and drank some tea from a tea cup and saucer.

The bullies were confused by this spectacle.


That night Marge while making out with Homer found a tattoo on the back of his head.

“Homer what is that?” Marge asked.

“Where?” Homer asked.

“On the back of your head!” said Marge.

There was a picture of blue pants and the words buy blue pants.

“Oh that. That’s called headvertising. It’s a new form of advertising! Goodnight dear!” said Homer.

He turned out his lamp. The tattoo glowed in the dark.

“Oooooh! It glows in the dark!” said Marge.

“It’s not supposed to...” Homer was worried about why the tattoo was glowing.


The next day Lisa has Willie in her room teaching Willie to speak properly like a gentleman.

“Now repeat after me, what flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.” said Lisa.

“What flows from the nose- Ach! I cannea do it! It’s so stupid!” said Willie.

“Come on Willie! It’s easy! Now let’s try again.” said Lisa.

“Still holding out on that bet Sis?” Bart smirked.

“Yes... And I didn’t realise you had made a wager Bart...” said Lisa.

“I can smell that government grant for Siamese twin reattachment surgery!” said Hugo.

“Hugo that’s never gonna happen...” said Bart.

“Come on Willie! I believe in you!” said Lisa.

Willie brightened up and decided to give it another try.

“What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.”

“Yes! Do it again Willie!” said Lisa.

“What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes!” Willie sung.

“O I think he’s got it. I think he’s got it!” Lisa sung.

“What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.” Willie sung while looking in Lisa’s mirror. But his reflection moved about on its own. “Agh! A talking mirror!” Willie screamed and smashed the mirror with a sledgehammer.

Bart and Lisa were concerned.

“And where is that from which it should not flow?” Lisa sung regardless.

“The nose! The nose!” sung Willie holding them up in the air with his fingers up their noses. Eeeeew!

“And on what should it not flow?” Lisa sung.

“Blue pants! Blue pants!” Homer sung holding some new blue pants.

“Daaaaad! Get your own song!” Lisa whined.

“Fine.... I’m getting blue pants in the morning! Ding dong! The wicked witch is dead...” Homer sung as he went down the hall.


Oscar was on the phone to his friend Stewie Griffin.

“What deuce?! You’re serious aren’t you?!” Stewie asked in surprise when Oscar told him Lisa was teaching Willie elocution lessons.

“But I’m doing that right now!” said Stewie. “Good lord, I thought you British invented the queen’s English but this girl, Eliza Pinchley, doesn’t so much as speak it but chews it up and spits it out in a cacophony! If I hear her try to say Flower one more time...”

Oscar was looking bored by Stewie’s ranting. “Well now you know how Brian and I feel every time you don’t pronounce your Ws properly in words beginning with W and H like whip, and Will Wheaton...”

Stewie snickered. “Oooooh! Would you like some cool hwip?”

“Stewie no! I’m not doing this! I’m putting the phone down now!” Oscar put the phone down.

Stewie shrugged.

“Okay Eliza, now for a musical approach to elocution. Repeat after me. “The life of the wife is ended by the knife.” said Stewie.

“The loif of the woif is ended by the knoif!” said Eliza Pinchley.

“No no no! Do it again you sactemonious cow!” Stewie yelled.

Eliza cried. Because she’s a toddler.


There was an extravagant party at the school for its science fair.

A butler welcomed Bart and Lisa and their guest to the party.

“Ladies and gentlemen. Introducing our guests for this evening. miss Elizabeth Mary Simpson. Mr Bartholomew Joseph Simpson. And...”

Lisa whispered to the butler. “Ah yes. Mr G.K Willington. Esquire.” said the butler.

G.K. Willington was clearly Groundskeeper Willie...

“I can’t shake off the feeling I’ve met this G.K before...” said Skinner.

“And you’ll meet him again, tonight! As your new daddy! Gahahahahaha! Mommmy like!” said Agnes Skinner.

Skinner sighed.

Sometime later G.K Willington was having polite and witty conversation with the teachers.

“They say the latest reproduction of Shakespeare at the Springfield Theatre is much ado about nothing.” said GK Willington.

Everyone laughed at his dry wit.

“Now I got that reference!” said Mrs Krabappel. “I would very much like to go out to dinner with you Mr G.K Willington.” Eeeeew! That’s Willie...

“Let’s say next Tuesday evening.” said G.K Willington writing in his diary.

Everyone cheered.

G.K Willington sung. “I could be indoors all night. Use a fork and knife...”

However during his song Bart was being naughty and set fire to his shoe. However G.K Willington took it in stride and fed the flames to the fruit pudding so they flambed it before putting the remnants of the fire on his shoe out.

G.K Willington continues singing “and not feel like a fruit...” and ate a flambed cherry.

“Bart what are you doing?! Get up!” Lisa told off Bart for causing trouble.

“I just wanted to hear him scream. It’s hilarious!” said Bart. “And maybe cost you your wager...”

“Bart I didn’t even wager anything! If anything you owe me if I win!” said Lisa. “Besides the only elocution lessons likely to go down in flames is Stewie’s education of Eliza. Which it already has...”

In the stair room Eliza Pinchley politely and eloquently greeted her guests. “How do you do?”

However she immediately wet herself. “Oh flippin eck! I’ve only gone and wet myself!” Eliza yelled in cockney.

Everyone muttered in disappointment.

Brian looked smug as Stewie had lost his bet.

“Oh yeah? I only have one thing to say to you dog! Which I’m going to silently mouth!” Stewie mouthed “Fuck you!”

“I’m telling Lois!” Brian threatens to rat on him.

“No wait! I said vacuum!” Stewie yelled.

“Uh Stewie... you’re a baby. First off Lois won’t believe him that you were talking in perfect English let alone swearing. And secondly what is she gonna do short of putting you on the naughty step...” said Oscar.

“Brian stop making up stupid stories about the baby talking! Stewie is barely a year old! He can’t talk yet!” Lois could be heard yelling.

“See?” Oscar said smugly.

Plot 3[]

The science awards were announced.

“And now for first prize for the science fair. Although I’m surprised Lisa Simpson hasn’t got an exhibit.” said Skinner.

“Oh but I have Principal Skinner! And it has been in plain sight all evening!” said Lisa.

Everyone gasped.

“Ladies and Gentlemen. G.K Willington is not whom he seems.” said Lisa. “He is none other than... Groundskeeper Willie!”

Everyone gasped and gave him a round of applause. G.K Willington Willie bowed politely.

“There. Are you glad you didn’t get more intimate with GK Willington, Mother?” said Skinner.

“Who said I didn’t...” Agnes said in a sultry manner. Eeeew!

The next morning.

G.K Willington went to visit Lisa.

“What’s the lesson today Lisa? Learn how to tame a falcon? Be off Xerxes and put the kettle on. I’ll be home soon!” He sent a falcon home. It flew away.

“There are no more lessons Willie. You’re a proper gentleman now! You’re free to go and do what you want!” said Lisa.

“But I wouldn’t know what to do with myself!” said G.K Willington.

“Well you can’t go back to being the groundskeeper. Skinner dumped that on the next bottom rung of the totem pole.” said Bart.

“Oh for heavens sake! How did I end up here?!” Mr Largo, now Groundskeeper Largo yelled as he somehow got the tractor on the roof of the school.

“All I know is that instrument playing lessons are going to be a lot more enjoyable now...” said Oscar.

Marge sighed. “Hmmmmm! Bumpkin I think this is one of those times you should go and watch cartoons... you know before you annoy everyone with your eccentricity...”

”Okay I was watching Captain Flamingo and the Bagel-gators episode.” said Oscar. “It’s about bagel-eating alligators...”


Lisa took G.K Willington to get a job. He got a job as a maitre de at the Pimento Olive.

Llewellyn Sinclair had to be sacked though to make room for him. Llewellyn stormed off carrying his bags.

“Here you’ll be able to meet Springfield’s finest elite!” said Lisa.

Krusty turned up with his girlfriend.

“Good evening sir. I will be your maitre de this evening!” said G.K Willington.

“Oh yeah? What’s the D stand for? Dumbass?!” Krusty said rudely and laughed. “Laugh will ya?”

G.K Willington chuckled.

“Hey I don’t need your charity titters.” Krusty ranted. “Now meet my girlfriend Charity Titters!”

Charity tried to lift up her bra...

“No not yet! Wait until we get to the booth!” said Krusty.

G.K Willington guided Krusty and Charity to their booth. He gave Lisa a confused look. She shrugged and looked confused too.

At school they got a new music teacher. Maestro Forte from Beauty and the Beast.

”Uh I don’t trust this new teacher...” Milhouse said nervously while holding his trumpet.

“I trust a grizzly bear more than a teacher. They formed a peace treaty with the flamingos.” said Oscar being stupid.

Lisa grimaced baffled.

”My Fair Lady? My fair ass!” said Jimbo sat at a table with Dolph.

Then they wagered that Kearney could not fly around the world in 80 days... Hehehe!

”You sir have a wager!” said Kearney. He wore a top hat and a “Tying the maiden to train tracks” moustache and a cape as he ran off. Jimbo and Dolph saw him fly off somewhere in a hot air balloon when they looked out the cafeteria windows.

”To Istanbul!” Kearney yelled.

”Wrong way dingus!” Dolph yelled.


Homer eventually got his blue pants, but developed a taste for advertising tattoos.

“Homer! You’re setting Bart a bad example...” Marge sighed.

“It’s not a bad example Mom if I already did it...” said Bart showing off his Mother heart tattoo.

Marge grumbled.

“Well these tats are making us a hundred bucks each!” said Homer. “Except this Maine Potatoes one. That’s just a reminder.” said Homer. By his side of the bed was a sack of Maine potatoes. He took one and ate it... Eeeeugh! Raw potato...

Marge sighed and went to sleep somewhere else because of Homer eating potatoes.

Homer wondered why she didn’t want to be in bed with him while he was eating raw potatoes. Why do you think?!

“Meanwhile for anyone thinking you saw the last of Coach Krupt and his bombardment fixation!” said Bart as the scene transitioned to the Pimento Olive.

G.K Willington was serving customers. Unfortunately one of them was Coach Krupt and his family.

“May I help you sir?” asked G.K Willington.

“These bread rolls are hard and stale! Bombardment!” said Coach Krupt as he threw bread rolls at G.K Willington.

G.K Willington sighed.

“And some ice tea for the lady.” said Coach Krupt. He continued to throw bread rolls at G.K Willington even as he walked away and sung a sad song about his former life as Groundskeeper Willie. Yes even during the song bread rolls are flying at Willie some how.

“Um maybe because Coach Krupt is following him...” said Bart.

Eventually Willie was at the school grounds that night singing about his shack. No sign of Coach Krupt throwing bread rolls though...

“(Exhausted gasps) That’s what you think Mr Smartass narrator! Bombardment! Bombardment! I’ll keep throwing bread rolls at you all night fancy waiter!” said Coach Krupt catching up.

G.K Willington sighed.

He then sang.

I've a fancy suit.
And a clean white shirt.
But I miss the days when tractor fumes.
Blew up my skirt.
I was freezing cold.
And I slept in mold.
But I long for the shack where I lived.
She was true to me.
My old home of wood.
And when I passed out drunk. From turpentine.
She understood.
Oscar snores loudly and rudely.
Life was so sublime...


The next day Lisa went to see Willie at the restaurant during his break.

“So how’s your new life Willie?” Lisa asks.

“Bullion! I’m absolutely bubbling with glee!” said G.K Willington before breaking character into his old personality, Willie and crying. “I’m bloody miserable! I miss me crap shack!”

Suddenly Krusty interrupted them.

“Hey! I want that booth! Take a hike!” said Krusty.

“Sir there are many other tables available...” said G.K Willington.

“None with a view of the yoga studio across the street though! Yuuuuum! Reach for the sun! Downward dog! Ruff! Ruff!” Krusty was being a pervert.

“Sir there is a child present!” said G.K Willington.

“Hey when Krusty’s off the clock kids can go and jump in a lake!” said Krusty. “Now take a hike Duchess of Cornball!”

“Very well sir. But my name is Willie!!” Willie snapped and returned to his loud, angry and violent self. “Now may I introduce you to the dessert tray?!” He slammed Krusty’s face violently into the desserts.

“Dessert tray! Oof! That’s a brilliant joke! Ow! Can I take it? Bah! I’m taking it anyway! Ow!” said Krusty as he was being slammed into the dessert tray.


Willie eventually got his job back as Groundskeeper. This not only suited him but everyone else as Mr Largo could go back to bullying his students and putting them down. And Llewellyn Sinclair could go back to being a maitre de.

“And now a big hearty welcome to our once and future groundskeeper Willie!” said Skinner.

Everyone cheered for Willie.

“Willie you can make yourself useful and start clearing up.” said Skinner.

Willie started mopping eagerly and singing “I’m in heaven!”

“Willie express yourself through silent mopping not singing!” Skinner told him off.

Late that night Lisa has something to show him.

“My shack!” Willie gasped.

“With one new thing...” said Lisa.

Willie went inside. On the wall was a homemade sign reading “Home sweet home.”

“Oh! Did you make this for me?!” Willie asked.

Lisa nodded.

Willie was touched. “I need a moment alone!” said Willie.

“I understand.” said Lisa with a smile. She left him alone.

Willie looked around then grabbed Lisa’s gift and smashed it. “Grrrrr! I liked it the way it was!”

The end!