Simpsons Fanon

Movie Night It’s movie night but Hugo really wants to watch Human Centipede. An R rated horror film notorious for being squicky. Marge won’t let him so Oscar proposes a kids film only to find Hugo doesn’t like kids films. Will he find him something suitable?

Then Golden Homer attacks Peekimon/Sparklemon land while Blast Ketchup and Listy Illguza (Anime Lisa) discuss with the townsfolk a final term for the fighting creatures in their world that have been called various collective names.

Then Milhouse has news. He’s moving to New York. And Oscar crosses paths with the Springfield Republican Party cult.


Oscar is in the living room with Krusty the clown on the TV playing in the background. However Oscar is busy lying on his back on the couch and watching the curious bear cub from Happy Little Elves sniff his diaper with its big wet shiny green nose. Oscar gets aroused and wets himself.

“Okay it’s not even five PM! Oscar put your clothes back on and vamoose the couch! It’s movie night.” said Bart feeling crabby.

”Mmmmmmm! Crabby...” said Homer drooling.

Oscar sulked and put his clothes back on. “Homer you are not supposed to read the script...”

“I hope everyone has agreed on what we’re watching.” said Marge.

“I have! We’re watching Human Centipede! Mwuhahahaha!” said Hugo holding the Human Centipede DVD case with the film inside.

“Absolutely not Hugo!” Marge told him off. “That film is R rated! And I don’t like gorery films!”

“But it’s got manically insane scientist in it who sews people to each other. Mouth to butt which has some rather unfortunate results...” said Hugo.

Bart winced concerned.

“They end up as part of one big digestive system so they’re swallowing each other’s poop!” said Oscar.

“That is exactly why I don’t want you watching that film! Honestly where does Hollywood get these ideas...” said Marge.

“How about Basket Case? It’s about an evil twin like me who wants to reattach themselves to their brother! Mwuhahahaha!” said Hugo laughing.

“No Hugo!” said Marge.

“You would like Belial, creep...” said Bart.

“Uh if you actually watched the film, both the brothers are exactly like Hugo, they both resent being surgically separated...” said Oscar.

“Well now isn’t that nice? Two bros who agree on things!” Hugo smirked.

“Until Belial got jealous and killed his brother’s girlfriend and then they try to kill each other...” said Oscar.

“Boys! No R rated disgusting horror films! Family friendly movies only!” Marge explained.

“Yeah as long as you’re under my roof you watch what I allow you to watch!” said Homer. “How about this guy.” He turns over the TV. The horror film Scream is on. Ghostface growls before swinging a knife at someone.

“Homer no!” said Marge.

Maggie sucks her pacifier rapidly in fear.

“Coooool!” said Bart.

“How about the Shining?” Hugo suggested.

“No Hugo...” said Marge.

“How about Jaws? My favourite movie according to Alvin.” said Bart holding a Jaws DVD as Alvinluv looked about the hall cupboard.

“Certainly not!” Marge said sharply. “It’s too violent and contains Robert Shaw!”

“Eeeeew! Robert Shaw!” Homer groaned in disgust.

“How about Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom!” Hugo suggested holding the DVD. “Mwuhahahaha.

“Oh please please! That movie is so cool! Kali ma skakti de! Kali maaaaaa!” Oscar was trying to pull out Bart’s heart.

“No!” Bart said sharply.

“Hugh-gee... Come on there’s got to be a decent comedy in here somewhere.” said Oscar looking in the downstairs cupboard.

“I’m afraid not boys. Homer doesn’t like Robin Williams...” said Marge.

“Anything by Adam Sandler?” Oscar asked.

“Eeeeeew! No!” said Bart.

“Will Ferrell?” Oscar asked.

“Who’s that?” Bart asked.

“Look there’s only kids films, so that means baring a nauseating two hours of sappy cartoons going on an adventure to recover their town’s gold or a legendary artefact or something while being nauseatingly sappy and annoying...” said Bart.

“Bart don’t be such a sourpuss...” said Lisa. “Look Maggie! Happy Little Elves and the curious bear cub!”

“Absolutely no way!” Bart insisted. “I am not sitting through that garbage!”

“Well Maggie and I like it!” said Lisa.

“Make that me too!” said Oscar.

“Double no with infinite no’s because Oscar only likes it because of the curious bear cub and will probably be getting aroused during the whole film...” said Bart.

“Bart! Don’t speak like that! Oscar’s just a little obsessed. That’s all...” said Marge.

“Mom he’s got his hands down his shorts right now while his green bear cub is sniffing him!” said Bart.

Marge sighed as Oscar was being dirty.

“I don’t like kids films. They’re not intellectual enough and not gruesome like Human Centipede...” said Hugo.

“Hugo you’re obsessed with that film...” Bart groaned.

“I think I can find a kids film you’ll like Hugo.” said Oscar. He picked up a copy of Jungledyret Hugo. A kids film about a yellow creature that sort of looked like a teddy bear called Hugo.

“Coooool! He has my name!” said Hugo.

“Then it’s settled. Everyone find a place on the couch.” said Marge relieved they found a film. Despite Bart’s protests that it was sappy.


Choosing somewhere to sit resulted in a fight between Bart and Lisa that descended in her trying to take Bart’s spot and him trying to suffocate her with a cushion.

“Bart stop that!” Marge told him off. He released Lisa and sat somewhere else.

The movie started.

“Ugh...” Bart groaned at the sappy kids film.

“He should have a big wet shiny nose...” Oscar groaned.

“Shhhh!” Marge told them to be quiet.

Then there was a scene where Hugo was tickling his sleeping monkey friends but one of them in a laughing fit accidentally punched him on the nose.

“Yeeeow!” Hugo groaned holding his nose. He took his hands off his nose to find it was swollen and red and shiny like a clown nose.

His monkey friends laughed at him.

“Cloooooowwn!” Oscar said taken over by his Aspergers.

“Oh geez...” said Bart.

A later scene had Hugo working at a circus as a clown for his new friend the chef in return for meatballs.

“Why would a herbivore eat meatballs again...?” Lisa sighed.

“Shhhhh!” Oscar hushed her.

Then it happened.

Hugo turned up on screen dressed as a clown. He had clown makeup on. A big red shiny nose, buck teeth and clown clothes and a wig.

Oscar’s Aspergers played up again. “OMG! It’s Clown Teddy!” he yelled seeing that Clown Hugo resembled Clownja’s and Teddy’s fusion form.

Everyone except Hugo Simpson II groaned.


Meanwhile in Pokegoblin/Sparklemon/Peekimon land, the Banjo region.

”The Banjo Kazooie region...” said Oscar being stupid.

”No Oz...” Blast Ketchup groaned.

In the tow square of beige city near the giant toilet Blast Ketchup, Peekimon champion wannabe and Listy, campaigning for Peekimon rights. Were discussing with the townsfolk a name they could all agree on for the fighting monsters that lived in their world.

“I propose Pokegobs because that was what they were called when I was here. And I was here first when Bart gave himself concussion and dreamed about this place!” said Blast.

“No. I think we should call them Sparklemon!” said Anime Lisa from her and Homer’s quest in Anime land to find the game key.

“But that sounds so lame!” Blast whined.

Listy grumbled and frowned.

“I know! Call them Peekimon!” said Oscar.

“That’s actually a great idea Oz!” said Blast. “All in favour?”

Everyone said aye.

“Then it’s settled!” said Listy. “Now I need to go to the Peekimon centre to heal my Powderpuff that got poisoned by Team Sprocket’s Rattlestitch.” said Listy.

“Maybe you should catch less lame Peekimon!” said Blast taunting her.

Listy growled and stormed off to the Peekimon centre.


Blast was in the Peekimon store waiting for Oscar who was in the bathroom. He was getting extremely bored. “Oz you must be finished now if you only needed to take a whiz...” said Blast.

Suddenly an earthquake struck Beige Town.

“Ay carumba!” yelled Blast.

He runs outside to see a giant golden Homer laughing evilly.

“What happened Homer, did you get a haircut or something?” Lenny villager asked.

“Look closer Lenny...” said Giant Golden Homer.

“Oh you’re the biggest man in the world now! And you’re made of gold!” said Lenny.

“Eighteen carat gold!” said Homer.

“Well that’s eighteen carats of butt to kick then!” said Blast. “I can’t have you stomping around town smashing things up! Thousand fists attack! Ayayayayayayai!” Blast did Kenshiro martial arts sounds while punching Giant Golden Homer’s foot rapidly with very fast lightning fast in fact, punches. Giant golden Homer just scratched his butt.

“Okay I’m thirsty. Is there any beer around here?” Giant Golden Homer asked.

“Why sure! There’s the tavern!” said Blast. “Wait a minute! I’m supposed to defending my home from you! You giant golden man!” said Blast.

“Bite my glorious golden ass!” Giant Golden Homer yelled at him.

“Doesn’t look so glorious to me.” said Blast.

“More glorious than yours Tiny...” said Giant Golden Homer as he went off to get a drink.

Blast shrugged his shoulders.


In Springfield.

Lisa was reading herself a bed time story. She was reading another Angelica Button book. “Angelica Button and the chamber pot of secrets.” was the title.

“Couldn’t you have came up with something more original and not so juvenile...” Lisa sighed.

Lisa sighed and read her book. “Oh my! Lord Evilton is back after failing to acquire the scone of Destiny!” She gasped as she read. “Angelica stood in the Dragon King’s bed chambers where much to her horror, her sworn enemy Lord Evilton was using a soul fragment of his younger self via the mysterious diary she got from Malicious Krubb to come back! He was planning some unspeakable evil that involved the use of the Chamber Pot of Secrets!”

In the story.

“Uh... Why would you need someone’s chamber pot?! It’s probably full of pee still! Eeeeeew!” Angelica explained.

“Because it is the only means to create the elixir of life so I may live again!” said Lord Evilton.

Back in Lisa’s bedroom.

“Then Angelica said the forbidden words “Lord Moldybutt” And this caused the ceiling to collapse on Lord Evilton.” sad Oscar wearing his pyjamas.

“No Oscar... You need to get that out of your system...” said Lisa.


In Beige Town.

Giant Golden Homer marched into Burns, the evil overlord’s fortress.

“Take a hike Burns. I run this town now...” said Giant Golden Homer.

“All hail king Homer!” Evil overlord Burns was in awe of him.

Suddenly Giant Golden Homer was in the middle of town covered in jewels and laughing evilly.

“Oh no! The treasure of the Azure ocean! Now his indestructible!” said Listy.

“Not from Mistah Sparkle-ru!” said Mr Sparkle appearing.

“And the king of dirt, Milhouse!” said Giant Katamari Damacy Milhouse with buckets on his ears as he raised from the ocean.

“Oh good lord...” Listy sighed. Blast face palmed.

“I’m still offering your village one last chance Listy. Take my hand in marriage, or your town will drown under the ocean!” Milhouse warned.

“No Milhouse! I don’t care if you’re a Demi god in this universe, we are not going out! And that’s final...” said Listy.

“Awwwww.... even as an evil Demi god I’m still a loser...” said Milhouse. He reluctantly helped out to fight Giant Golden Homer.

Plot 2[]

Bart was in the bathroom brushing his teeth before bed.

“Scrub those molars too. You don’t want a tooth ache...” came Marge’s voice.

“I will Mom.” said Bart. Suddenly behind him was Gino Terwilliger and Nemo.

“Vendetta! Vendetta!” Gino yelled in an unword like manner as he was only a toddler. Nemo standing there in his red ladybug pyjamas rolled his eyes.

“Nyaaaaghhh!” Bart screamed and ran off.

Marge was reading Maggie a bed time story when Bart ran past chased by Gino and Nemo.

“Mom! Gino and Nemo are trying to kill me again!” Bart yelled as he dashed past Maggie’s room.

“Oh lord!” Marge sighed.

Gino and Nemo continue to chase Bart until the curious bear cub from Happy Little Elves shrunk then and zapped away their clothes so they were only wearing diapers.

Gino gulped as the giant green cartoon bear cub grabbed them.

Bart rolled his eyes. “Well that sorts them out for now at least...”

At four am because she had lost control of her life, Marge was making chocolate pudding.

“Oz no!” Bart said over the narration.

Marge finished but could see Homer looking hungrily at the pudding.

“Now Homer, don’t you eat this pudding!” said Marge.

“Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding....” said Homer’s brain repeatedly to him.

“Okay but then we have to get to work.” He greedily ate the pudding.


The next morning or later that morning if you’re going by a twenty four hour clock, Homer was taking in the newspaper only for the newspaper delivery boy to throw it at his head.

“D’oh!” said Homer, groaning.

Then a giant golden arm fell out of the sky onto someone’s house across the road.

“What the?!” Homer gasped.

Thinking nothing of it he went inside.

Meanwhile Bart was on his mobile phone to Oscar at breakfast inviting him over for a movie night.

“What film is it?” Oscar asked.

“A Troy McClure flick.” said Bart.

“....... Nah... I’d rather go bat watching with Ace.” said Oscar.

“Fine suit yourself.” said Bart. He ended the call and continued eating his Krusty os.

Then Milhouse came in.

“Mom’s taking me to New York to live with her new boyfriend.” said Milhouse.

“Not on my watch!” said Kirk. “I have rights Luanne!”

“Kirk you don’t even pay child support!” said Luanne.

“Hey I thought you said my money was no good!” said Kirk.

Bart sighed and shook his head. “Here we go again...”

Bart hung out with Milhouse while he still could.

“New York? Isn’t that where that singing sailor was from?” Bart asked. Remembering when he drank an all syrup squishee and started singing a Broadway musical about Springfield.

“Uh yeah...” said Milhouse.

“Went there twice. My dad hates New York for some reason.” said Bart.

“You know why I hate it boy! Stupid parking inspectors! Stupid Khlav Kalash! Stupid toilets on top floors of world trade centre towers!” said Homer.

“They built a new tower Dad.” said Lisa.

“How long before some evil idiot flies into it?” Oscar asked angrily.

“Why is Oz bringing that up?” Homer asked.

“Because they attacked my country last week!” Oscar yelled. “Blew up an underground train and two buses!”

“Oh my!” Marge gasped. “Is Mona alright?”

“Mona’s fine. She’s holed up where Mr Burns can’t find her.” said Oscar.


Marge took Bart to New York to see Milhouse.

“So what’s happening back in Springfield?” Milhouse asked.

“They let Sideshow Bob out of prison again.” said Bart.

Sideshow Bob tried to lunge at Bart but a train ran him over.

Then Bart and Milhouse went to see the singing sailors.

“New York New York! New York New York!” They sung.

“Ahhh... You’d think seeing that every morning from your apartment would get old but it doesn’t...” said Milhouse.

Meanwhile Oscar was on the roof of the Freedom tower spying on nearby planes.

“No you don’t! The building is not target practice!” He yelled at a plane through a megaphone. “People work in here.”

Suddenly some shady cultists found him. One of them revealed he was Mr Burns.

“As republicans we love our country the most! Coranon sileria oozo mahock!” said Mr Burns. “And that means protecting it from those that hate it most! We’ve heard you’re patriotism to your own land. Mmmmm! English tea and precious blood...”

“Get to the point...” Oscar yawned.

“Will you join us?” Mr Burns asked.

“Uh... sorry but kooky cults and masons are off my list. I’ve had to fight my way out of way to many evil cults. Especially after that time Tom Cruise tried to make me a Scientologist... And I don’t do kooky ancient languages except pig Latin because it’s fun to mess with grown ups when they don’t know what you’re talking about...” said Oscar giggling. “And if I wanted to be in the same room as a bunch of vampires I’d have dinner at Ace’s mansion. And Lisa would not be happy if I joined you guys...”

Oscar went to leave.

“But that’s it! Your dear friend Lisa is the enemy. She’s one of those “Oh we have to love everyone!” Liberals! They’ll let anyone in the country! Even those that committed this atrocity...” said Mr Burns.

Oscar thought long and hard.

“Okay. If I join, you have to end your obnoxious hatred Mona. Leave the Simpsons to their happy ending!” said Oscar.

“Oh fine! But one hippy stunt...” Mr Burns replied.


At home.

“I wonder how Gino and Nemo are doing?” Lisa asked.

Gino and Nemo were stuck up to their waists in the curious bear cub’s nostrils as they were sinking in snot. They grunted as the struggled and squirmed.

Meanwhile in anime land. The Banjo region.

”And Kazooie...” Oscar insisted.

”Oz no!” Blast yelled.

”Anyway why and how are you crossing over with Anime Lisa’s parallel version of the Pokegoblin universe?’ Oscar asked, “There’s already a Lisa in Blast’s universe. She’s a Japanese school girl.”

”Uh, I dunno. You’re the author Oz.....” said Blast taking off his hat and scratching his hair.

”I have no idea how I’m here...” said Trunks Milhouse.

Oscar winced.