Simpsons Fanon

Moaning Lisa Lisa moans, Oscar plagiarises Winnie the Pooh transcripts.


The chalkboard gag is “I will not burp in class.”

The couch gag is a repeat of Nature pants/Call of the Simpsons.

The episode starts with a thunderstorm brewing and thunder and lightning.

Teddy, Oscar’s teddy bear is frightened and tries to hide. “Oh no. Where can we go? What can we do? How can we hide? Terrifying isn’t it?” He said to Clownja shaking in his Jack in a box.

“Frankly my dear Teddy, I don’t give a damn...” said Oscar. The lightning struck followed by thunder. Oscar yelps and hides under the cushions of the couch somehow.

“Oscar Tamaki... could you please come out and eat your vegetables?” Marge asked him.

The camera zooms at a plate of vegetables, namely carrots at an empty seat.

“Yeah I plagiarised the dialogue from The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh episode one. Pooh oughta be in pictures. Anyone else find it odd that Christopher Robin’s Mom calls him Christopher Robin and not just his first name like Christopher or Chris?” Oscar asked the fourth wall.

“And that goes for you too, Bartholomew Joseph Simpson!” Marge was full naming everyone for some reason.

Bart groaned as he didn’t like his vegetables.

“Aren’t we going to pray first?! Hellions...” Homer glared.

“Okay! Rub a dub dub! Thanks for the grub!” said Bart praying a silly prayer. Then eating his food like a pig would by rudely stuffing his food into his mouth.

“Grrrrrrr!” Homer growled. Then lightning struck. “See that?! The man upstairs is mad!”

“Oh Homer stop mentioning God... it’s just a lightning storm...” Marge sighed. “Oz come on! I am not full naming you again!”

Oscar sighed and sat down to his vegetables and meat loaf. He also like Bart, disliked vegetables.

Teddy his living teddy bear sighed wistfully. “You gotta bite the carrot, kiddo...” He explained in his own loving big brotherly way that Oscar had to eat his vegetables.

“Alright...” Oscar was a lot more compliant than Bart. He picked up his fork and stabbed a piece of carrot. “Carrots do your worst...” He ate the piece of carrot but reacted like it was disgusting. Chewing it far too much and screwing up his face in disgust.

“Oh dear! Oz are you alright?” said one of Oscar’s cartoon monsters. It looked like the monster from My Pet Monster.

“He’s just putting it on...” said a long thin monster.

“Oscar, you have to eat your vegetables if you want to grow up big and strong...” Marge explained.

“Yeah like me.” said Homer.

Bart bursted out laughing. “Yeah right... you got the big part right...”

Homer growled at Bart.

“Okay let’s think the here and now then... Oscar if you don’t hurry up and eat your vegetables you’ll miss your favourite TV show!” said Marge.

“Oh yeah! Eeyorptimus Prime and Negatron!” said Oscar quickly eating his vegetables.


Then Lisa had something to moan about. Bart was flicking peas at her. “Mom! Bart’s flicking peas at me!”

“Bart don’t flick peas at your sister!” said Marge scolding Bart.

“Well maybe she should keep out of the way of my peas then...” said Bart.

“Moooooom! My potato is too hot!” Lisa whined.

“Blow on your food sweetie.” said Marge.

“Moooooom! I am anxious because of third world hunger, people polluting the environment and other things that are not my business to worry about because I am either manic depressive or faking it for attention!” Lisa whined.

Marge sighed. “Lisa it is six thirty in the evening at dinner... how are you going to solve world hunger right this moment?!” Marge face palmed getting slightly annoyed.

“I can’t... that’s why I am annoyed... and now I will make dinner stressful for you all because I’m in a bad mood everyone else has to be too...” said Lisa.

“Mooooom!” Lisa called.

“What?!” Marge yelled.

“The air vent is breathing in a creepy manner! Make it stop! It’s scaring me!” said Lisa frightened.

There were eyes in the air vent as something inside it was breathing heavily. (That something was Hugo.)

“Get outta there and stop scaring Lisa!” Homer shouted at the air vent. Something inside it was moaning and scampering away.


The next day.

The Simpsons house door rings and Teddy is at it outside. Oscar answers holding a red balloon in front of his face.

“Oh, hello. Might Oscar Tamaki be at home?” Teddy asked him.

“Teddy it is me. Silly bear...” said Oscar moving the balloon aside.

“And who might that be?” Teddy asked pointing to the balloon.

Oscar rolled his eyes. “A balloon, Teddy. You know. Made of rubber and helium...”

“In that case, may I take it for a walk?” Teddy asked.

“Well... ok, but only if you’re careful not to pop it...” said Oscar.

“No worries! I shall take care of it. As if it were... as if it were honey...” said Teddy.

Oscar has a dream cloud of Teddy greedy devouring honey from a honey pot. “Um... I want you to take better care of it than that...” Oscar pondered. “How about you take care of it as if you are looking after me as a baby. You took good care of me.”

“Sure did kiddo.” said Teddy examining him closely. “Ugh! Comb your hair kiddo...” he combed Oscar’s hair.

“Then it’s in the best of hands er I mean paws, Teddy...” said Oscar. He handed Teddy the balloon.

“Wheeeeeee!” Teddy ran off with the balloon giggling.

Oscar sweat dropped.

Teddy ran about singing cutesy lame songs until he was sure he was out of Oscar’s sight. He stopped smirked deviously and unsheathed one of his claws and bursted the balloon. It bursted as balloons do. “Hehehehe! Ain’t I a stinker?” Then the cartoon irised out.

“Wait! Teddy seemed really uncharacteristically mean there! Teddy is not mean. He’s nice!” said Oscar. “Now Dark Teddy on the other hand...”

Teddy was holding the still inflated balloon pulling upwards as it was full of helium, which is lighter than air...

Dark Teddy comes along. He has darker fur colours, Marsupilami eyes, fangs instead of buck teeth and two small sharp black horns on his head. He unsheathed one of his claws and bursts the balloon.

Teddy gasped horrified. “You killed it!”

Dark Teddy rolls his eyes.


In the living room Homer finds Lisa doing some rather weird dancing... she was doing what looked like she was strutting on the spot. Then she was gyrating an invisible hula hoop.

“Where in God’s name did you learn to dance like that?!” Homer asked her.

On the TV was a slutty music video of ladies in a nightclub in hot pants and crop tops dancing erotically.

Homer was transfixed by it. “Oooooooh! Oh baby... oh yeah...” he drooled aroused by the music video. Why was Lisa watching that?!

“Dad I need money to buy Bart a birthday gift.” said Lisa.

“Okay...” Homer said in a trance Giving her something from his wallet.

“Dad this is an IOU...” said Lisa.

“Oh, sorry. Here you go.” Homer gave her money.

“Dad this is fifty dollars!” Lisa was astonished.

Homer was too busy staring at the sexy ladies on the TV dancing.


Then Lisa went from constantly whining and soap boxing to being depressed and hogging the bathroom.

Honer was furiously bashing down the door because for some odd reason he wanted to use the shared bathroom instead of his en-suite in the master bedroom. “Lisa! Open this door at once! Lisa!!” Then he went from angry ogre to sarcasm. “What’s a matter? Lost the toilet roll? Hehehehe!” Then back to growling and yelling. “Lisa! Lisaaaaaa!”

Lisa opened the bathroom door. “Bathroom’s free Dad...” said Lisa depressed. Homer didn’t seem to notice she was feeling blue.

However as he went to use the bathroom Bart rushed in there as a small green and yellow blur and shut himself in. “You snooze you lose Homeboy!”

Homer growled and wrestled with the locked door. “(Homer making angry sounds)!”

The next morning.

There was a sense of Deja vu as once again Homer was yelling “Lisa! Lisaaaaa! Open this door at once!” at the bathroom door. Lisa was in there staring at her reflection being miserable again probably.

“Does your dad ever mellow out?” Oscar asked Bart.

“Only in another few years or seasons...” said Bart.

“Cos right now he is a big angry gorilla...” said Oscar. “Actually I thought he was a big angry gorilla at first.”

Bart laughed. “Nah he’s more like a grizzly bear!”

“Grrrrrrr!” Homer heard their remarks. “I’ll show you who’s a grizzly bear!” He chased after them angrily.

“Eep! Now I know how Grogre feels!” Oscar gulped.

Grogre was running frightened from his angry Dad.

“Why you little!” His Dad yelled.

“I have every reason to run like the Dickens! Do you know what ogres do to their kids?!” Grogre asked the fourth wall. Also his Uggs, or furry barbarian boots are cute.

“You think my furry boots are cute...” Grogre sighed as he continued running for his life.

“And your cave man club, ugg! Ug!” said Oscar making cave man noises.

“First off you mean Neanderthal, do try to use the correct term and not layman’s terms... and secondly that’s a bit of a misnomer. I don’t have a big wooden club like a cartoon ogre. I actually have a sword.” Grogre lectured Oscar.


Then this is where I take all this uh mess I wrote and gather it all together to lead into act two.

Oscar had brought back Grogre so his Dad can cool off and not end up eating him.

Oscar had vegetables for dinner again much to his disgust as he made a face. “Bleh.”

“You find vegetables bleh?! I don’t like meat! I find that bleh! Well actually I’m vegetarian as I’ve probably told you a zillion times.” said Grogre. “I like vegetables!”

“Freak...” said Bart.

After dinner Marge needed Oscar to run and errand before he went off to play...

“Oscar have you got something for Bart’s birthday?” Marge asked him.

“Well... for now I got him a red balloon... Teddy how is that balloon I gave you doing?” Oscar replied asking Teddy something.

Teddy arrived holding a burst balloon.

“Oh my god! You killed it!” Oscar screamed.

“No! Dark Teddy did!” Teddy protested.

“Oz you can’t just give him a balloon... look I’ll take you to the toy store to get him something...” said Marge.

“Okay but after Eeyorptimus Prime and Negatron...” said Oscar.

“Uh no, maybe now Oz?!” Grogre insisted while eating a kosher pickle.

“You eat pickles?!” Oscar gasped.


Meanwhile Lisa was in a better mood other than constantly whining or depressed as she was shopping for Bart’s birthday present. “Can’t go wrong with Krusty...” said Lisa looking at the Krusty dolls. “But then again Bart already has lots of Krusty dolls...”

At Home Bart is sat on his bed surrounded by Krusty dolls pulling the string on a speaking Krusty doll.

“Ooooooh... Ohhhhh!...Oooooooh! Oh-Hey kid I haven’t got anything else to say! Quit yanking my string!” said the Krusty doll.

“What? These are boy’s dolls! Krusty is a inebriated, chain smoking, middle aged, washed up clown... Do you really think he’s marketed to girls...” Bart ranted.

“Uh it’s a doll...” said Oscar.

Bart made an angry growl and went off downstairs with his Krusty doll.

Meanwhile at the shops Lisa eventually found a thoughtful gift for Bart but the last one was on reserve.

“Who isn’t here!! Therefore I demand that you give it to me!!” Lisa yelled. Yep she’s either whining and griping, being depressed or being angry.

“I’m sorry but...” said Squeaky voiced teen.

Lisa threw a tantrum. Yes she did just that as she cried and screamed.

Lisa is lying on her stomach kicking and screaming.

“Okay! You can have the Radioactive man action figure play set... Geez...” said Squeaky voiced Teen.

Plot 2[]

Bart went outside with his Krusty doll playing with it when Jimbo snatched it. “Hey!”

“Hey look! Bart plays with dolls!” Jimbo teased.

“Hey give me back my Krusty doll! Krusty is the funniest clown ever!” Bart whined.

“Kid you are weird...” said Jimbo.

“Gimme my Krusty Wusty! I’ve had him since I was a baby!” Bart whined.

He has a flashback.

Baby Bart wearing a diaper is playing with a Krusty doll when he toddles off carrying his Krusty doll in his diaper.

”Sweet banana of farnana!” Oscar yelled. Suddenly a baby Captain Olimar, or one of his species appeared. They have big round shiny pink noses and round heads and pointy elf ears.

The baby Hocotate grinned deviously and squeezed his nose like it was a big pimple. Two streams of snot oozed out and splattered upon the back of Bart’s diaper. Bart grimaced as there was a strong thick rubbery gooey green bungee cord of mucus stretched between the back of his diaper and coming from the Hocotate’s big round shiny pink nose. The Hocotate grinned and inhaled sucking up his mucus while Bart struggled and squirmed pulling in the opposite direction trying to escape but the snot pulled him backwards. A green aura lifted baby Bart off of his feet into the air and he found himself facing the Hocotate. The Hocotate slurped up the gooey boogers freeing Bart briefly only to then squirt two slimy snot monster arms out of his nose at Bart’s feet. The slimy hands engulfed Bart’s feet. Bart groaned as he struggled and squirmed. The Hocotate giggled. Then two more strands oozed out and grabbed Bart’s hands. He struggled and squirmed. Then one oozed out and splattered onto his diaper. Bart groaned as the snot engulfed his diaper.

”Okay have your stupid doll! The author is being freaky with the flash backs!” said Jimbo tossing Bart’s Krusty doll at him. Bart collected his doll and went home glaring at the camera because I was being weird about snot and Captain Olimar.

Lisa arrived home with Bart’s gift.

Mr Cosington wasn’t happy Squeaky Voiced Teen sold a gift on reserve to his nephew or something. It’s like when Old Gil sold that Malibu Stacy.

”Yoooooooouuuuuureeee fiiiiiiired!” He yelled wobbling his jowls.

Lisa was unaware of this, if she was she would have thought twice about her tantrum. She checked Bart wasn’t about and got out his birthday present and wrapped it up.

Then Erik Nikolas decided James Bouvier was in this episode, or in one taking part at the same time. It also takes part during the episode Psycho!

James Bouvier, to his niece, Uncle James. Had invented a hypnosis machine, possibly some sort of headgear gadget and wanted to test it on Lisa to hypnotise her into hating her entire family as part of his diabolical plans, because he is evil in Erik’s canon for some reason.

Lisa shook her head deciding this was a bad idea.


Meanwhile Bart kisses his Krusty doll and put it in his toy box after getting home safely after nearly getting it stolen.

”Love you Krusty.” said Bart as he kissed the Krusty doll and put it in his toy box.

Oscar laughed.

”Oz you hug and kiss your teddy bear all the the time...” said Bart.

”Oh yeah...” said Oscar cuddling his teddy bear creature, Teddy.


”Lisa I am your uncle! Don’t disobey me!” yelled James.

”Uncle James... I am not taking part in one of your diabolical science experiments...” said Lisa.

“But I need you to! To errr.... protect the Mulan Szechuan sauce in McDonalds!” said Uncle James.

”Uncle James, have you been drinking again...?” Lisa sighed.

”Oscar stop aging yourself up. You’re only one years old... and a few months...” said Bart. Oscar was a baby, because I was only a baby when Simpsons first started. Marge sighed and put baby Oscar in the play pen with Maggie. Oscar sighed and sucked a shiny blue pacifier while hugging Teddy.


It was Bart’s birthday. He got up and went downstairs.

”Happy birthday!” Everyone cheered.

”Coooool! It’s my birthday!” said Bart. “Where’s my presents?”

”Coming right up, sweetie.” said Marge.

”It’s also the attic monster’s birthday today. I have to take this present up to the attic.” said Oscar heading off somewhere.

Bart winced.

”Enough!! Stop going on about imaginary monsters in the attic that don’t exist!” Homer snapped.

”What about Siamese twins?” Oscar smirked.

Homer growled and tried to throttle him.

”Dad no! You’re about to strangle a baby!” Bart warned him.

Oscar gurgled annoyed that he had been turned back into a baby again.


Then this episode joins up with the events of the episode Psycho.

Lisa was depressed for no reason again and was locked in the bathroom.

”Lisa! LISAAAAAAA!” Homer yelled. “Open this door at once! You didn’t drop the toilet roll down the toilet did you? Hehehehe!” Homer briefly chuckled before yelling again. “Lisa! LISAAAAAA! You’re tearing me apart Lisa!”

”No Oz! No Tommy Wiseau!” Bart whined from the hall.

Lisa unlocked the door unhappy. “Bathroom‘a free Dad.”

However before Homer could go in, Bart once again whizzed in and shut himself in because he needed to pee. “Women and children first, Homeboy!”

Homer growled and slammed at the door like an angry gorilla.

Marge gave the two remaining cupcakes to Homer and Bart. Then Homer misplaced his keys and Bart played warmer colder with him.

Oscar managed to make himself nine years old again and ran up to the attic with a present and a birthday cake.

”Happy belated birthday Hugo!“ said Oscar.

Hugo made an emotional happy growl and cried.

”Awwwww! Don’t cry Hugo...” said Oscar.

”But I’m so happy you remembered my birthday!” Hugo sobbed happily.

”Oz stop being nice to the freak in the attic!” Homer snapped.

Oscar then took Teddy, his living teddy bear creature for a walk with Grogre the ogre so his dad could cool off and not try to eat him.

”Like my pappy tried to eat me!” said Shrek.

Grogre winced. “You’re not a thing yet. The only loveable cartoon ogre around is me. And I lost out to that overrated troll Hugo.”

Hugo the troll frowned at Grogre.

”You don’t even look like a troll! You look like a faun with a lion’s tail!” Oscar yelled.

Teddy, Oscar’s living teddy bear creature sniffed a red fire hydrant with his big wet shiny black nose that was twitching and quivering. Then he cocked his back leg up, resting it against the fire hydrant and peed.

At home, Lisa came into the attic and walked around the attic and saw the mouse run and squeak past the attic.

Lisa sighed and moaned sadly. Suddenly she was spooked from her moment of depression by an inhuman growling and moaning, she could make out it sounded like a young boy with a deep throaty voice. She looked up and gasped because chained and pinned to a wall with iron manacles was a young boy about Bart’s height and build and possibly age. The boy moaned and glared at her.

Lisa screamed.

“Monster! Monster!” Lisa screamed running down stairs.

“What’s that about a monster?” One of Oscar’s cute monsters asked.

“Teddy, will Marge be be mad I broke her vase?” Oscar asked as Teddy, his living teddy bear creature with a big wet shiny nose. Teddy was changing his diaper.

”(Laugh) "Of course not, buddy boy.” said Teddy tousling his hair boisterously.

“Teddy. You are 90% of the reason why I get up every morning. The other 10% is because I have to pee…” said Oscar.

”Eeeeeew... That’s not a nice analogy Oscar...” Teddy sighed as Oscar hugged him.

Marge was comforting Lisa.

”There's nothing to be frightened of, Lisa. Attics are full of awfully interesting things.” said Marge.

”Like evil twin brothers...” said Oscar.

Homer growled at him.

”Homer! He’s just a baby!” Marge snapped.


That night at the same time during Psycho remember? Lisa heard a saxophone playing across town that night. She snuck out badly, falling in a puddle of mud and her saxophone clonking her on the head.


Bart was also out past his bed time dressed in ninja robes. They quickly agreed that because neither of them should be out right now they’d vouch for each other and keep quiet.

Lisa followed the saxophone music to the town bridge. She met a black saxophone player.

”That was some great jazz.” said Lisa.

”Why thank you little lady.” said the man. “The name’s Bleeding Gums Murphy.”

”Eeeeew! I’m Lisa by the way. How did you get a name like that?” Lisa asked.

”Well Lisa, you ever go to the dentist?” Bleeding Gums Murphy asked.

”All the time! My mom insists!” said Lisa.

”Well I don’t. I should but I have enough pain in my life...” said Bleeding Gums Murphy.


Bart spent the few days after his birthday playing with his presents. He had just got Drederick Tatum’s Beat Down. (Mike Tyson’s Punch Out). He was on the final boss, Drederick Tatum.

”Oh no! The illegal ear bite! Struggle! Struggle! A! A! A!” Bart groaned as Drederick was biting his character while holding him in a grapple. The eight bit referee was yelling “Foul!” with a speech bubble.

Oscar was sat on his bed cuddling his teddy bear and shamelessly stealing quotes from Winnie the Pooh.

In the master bedroom en suite Homer weighed himself and spat out his toothpaste in shock.

”I’m a whale!” He groaned.

”Homer you’re really out of shape!” said Marge concerned.

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?” Homer whined.


”Lisa! Don’t disobey me! I need you as my Guinea pig for my science experiment!” Uncle James yelled.

”Uncle James I don’t want to be part of some mad science experiment...” said Lisa.

”Yeah Unky Jimbo...” said Bart.

”Shut up! And you call me James! Not Jim, not Jimbo! Not anything else!” James yelled at Bart.

Homer glared at James and took Bart aside to play with him.

”Don’t worry about him boy, he’s a sour puss. Now let’s do impressions. Homer put hair from the bin or something and a moustache on pretending to be Italian. “Hey, Vinnie. How’s about a pizza? I got-a no job!”

Bart winced at him.

”How about we play Drederick Tatum’s beat down?” said Bart wanting to play video games.

”Your on!” said Homer feeling competitive.

They played a parody of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out! However Bart was very good at it. He defeated Homer’s character, the one with purple boxing gloves and performed a finishing move that killed him. There was an animation in the game of him turning into a grave with a tombstone on top. The death march played.

”That’s just morbid...” said Homer.

Bart sighed. “You really suck at this game Homer... Not even a challenge...” He went upstairs.

He was attending to his stamp collection. But Oscar annoyed him by playing with his desk lamp by flicking it on and off.

”Oz stop that!” said Bart.

”Why?” Baby Oscar asked.

”Because it’s annoying...”

”Why?” Oscar asked.

”Because it hurts my eyes...”


”Oz don’t! Only I get to do that! But only as Mindy from Buttons and Mindy.” said Bart.

”Why?” Oscar asked.

Bart growled. “Go away!!”

”Okay Silly Head! I love you! Bye bye!” said Baby Oscar toddling and stumbling off somewhere.

Bart winced.

Plot 3[]

Lisa continued her, be depressed for no reason storyline.

”Cheer up! The world’s not that glum!” yelled Baby Oscar pulling his mouth into a big smile with his fingers.

”Oz dear, not everyone has your cheerful outlook on life...” said Marge.

Meanwhile Skinner went Norman Bates and killed his mother, Edna and Chalmers. All while dressed as his own mother.

Lisa went out to see Bleeding Gums Murphy again. Then he barely makes any appearances and then they kill him off in season nine!

”Spoilers!” Oscar frowned putting his fingers in his ears.

Meanwhile Bart is thrashing Homer at Drederick Tatum’s Beat Down.

”Player 1 wins!”

”Oh Homer you really suck tonight...” said Bart.

”Oh yeah? Let’s play another round smart mouthed little-“ said Homer but...

”Homie! I need a hand bathing Oscar, You know who from the attic and Flint from Flint the Time Detective! And you know how they all hate baths!” said Marge.

”Okay but stop mentioning the attic!” Homer snarled as he stopped playing video games with Bart to help Marge bathe Oscar, Hugo and Flint.

Basically all hell broke loose! Oscar pooped in the bath, Hugo fought and bit Homer as he tried to scrub shampoo into his hair.

(Hugo splashing and growling) Hugo thrashed about as his parents bathed him.

”Ow! Marge he bit me!” Homer whined.

Marge sighed as Hugo thrashed about.

Flint thought the soap was edible and ate a bar of soap. He hiccuped bubbles.

”Oh don’t eat the soap son...” Rocky Hammerhead sighed.

Bart could hear the madness happening from upstairs. He winced. “All I know is Mom and Dad forbade me from going upstairs right now...” he said to Lisa.

”I think we’re about to find out why...” Lisa winced as Flint Hammerhead ran in naked with soap suds in his hair laughing as Homer and Rocky chased him. Then Baby Oscar and Hugo joined in running about naked.

”Why are we the only sane ones?!” Bart sighed. “I admit I hate baths. But I don’t run out of the bathroom naked! Well not since I was a baby.”

Lisa gave him a hard look.

”Okay that time in the Tracey Ullman shorts...” said Bart.