|Milhouse Van Houten|
|Alias(es)||Lou La Trec|
Milhouse Van Damme Houten
Fallout Boy 
Kirk Van Houten
|Relatives||Mother: Luann Van Houten|
Father: Kirk Van Houten
|Voiced By||Pamela Hayden|
Michael Jackson ("Do the Bartman")
Michael 'J' Horn ("New Kids on the Blecch")
Hank Azaria ("Hardly Kirk-ing")
Corbin Bleu (Singing Voice, The New Version of Do The Bartman, Party Posse Medley, the Cover Version of Deal With it, She Could Be, Mixed Up, Stop, Roll With You, Run It Back Again, Moments That Matter, Marchin, Push It To The Limit and Celebration Only) (The Simpsons' 30th Anniversary Celebration)
Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten (born 1980) is Bart Simpson's best friend and sidekick. He is also a fan of Doctor Who.
As the only child of Kirk and Luann Van Houten, Milhouse's most distinctive physical traits are his blue hair, big nose and extreme nearsightedness (depicted by very small eyes), requiring thick glasses to correct. He has regular intelligence but somewhat poor social skills. Although devious in his own way, Milhouse is quite gullible, which is why he is often led into trouble by Bart, who is not shy about taking advantage of the other's naïveté. Milhouse serves as the school president of the Springfield Elementary from 2004 to 2005.
When Milhouse gets irritated at Bart, he says "I'm only three months younger than you". Bart was born on April 1, so that means Milhouse was born in July (most likely July 1, since he doesn't mention how many days younger he is than Bart).
Even though he is usually much better liked and tolerated compared to more genuine nerds such as Martin Prince, Milhouse is constantly victimized in one form or another, mostly as a target of the bullies Jimbo Jones, Dolph Starbeam, and Kearney Zzyzwicz. They often inflict extreme acts of physical violence upon him. One instance had the bullies wrapping Milhouse in bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart, which they pushed down a very steep hill. He frequently visited a female counselor, Dr. Waxler, until even she got fed up by his constant phone calls, and blocked his number from her own phone. He is also frequently subjected to Nelson Muntz's bullying, including Nelson's "stop (hitting, zapping, etc.) yourself."
Milhouse was seen as relatively cool in only two episodes. When his parents were lost at sea and presumed deceased, the kids at the school were impressed by Milhouse's stoicism, even Nelson, who refrains from beating him up. Bart brought Milhouse's uncle Norbert (who is of Danish descent and resides in Solvang, California) to Springfield to console Milhouse. When Milhouse's mother moved with him to Capital City after his parents separated, in another episode, he dyed his hair blond, wore fashionable clothes and acted rude to impress his new friends, who acted similarly. He even asked Bart to let him give him a wedgie to impress the others. After his father Kirk won custody of Milhouse and brought him back to Springfield, everything went back to normal.
People frequently make Milhouse the butt of a variety of jokes and abuse, ranging from being beaten up by Nelson and his cronies to having the door slammed in his face while playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey to being hit in the mouth by an errant hockey puck causing him to lose most of his teeth to being named a wanted fugitive on America's Most Wanted due to Bart's Internet mischief. Milhouse also unknowingly inherited Bart's abysmal permanent school record through a side deal arranged between Bart, Edna Krabappel and Principal Skinner in order to buy the former's silence about the latter two's illicit relationship, which will disqualify Milhouse from "all but the hottest and noisiest jobs". He also almost walked straight into a cactus at Bart's "directions" during a birthday party with Martin, although he ended up not doing so due to his coming down with food poisoning from tainted oysters just as he was about to do so, thus forcing him run over to the moon bounce and vomit in it, to the occupants horror and disgust. He also ended up injured by Mr. Burns via a broken leg specifically to motivate the Springfield football team into winning against Shelbyville, with Milhouse also ominously stating that if the team didn't win, Mr. Burns says that he's "coming back" (presumably to do even worse to Milhouse). Despite the frequent abuse and misfortune, Milhouse is not particularly disliked and has a decent amount of friends at Springfield Elementary aside from Bart, although most such people usually seem mutual through Bart himself.
It is heavily implied that Milhouse is nearsighted without his glasses. At one time, Bart used his glasses as makeshift binoculars to spy on Lisa and her new friends, and when leaving to sabotage the friendship proceeded to take the glasses with him to Milhouse's protests, with Milhouse then proceeding to mistake a horseshoe crab for a dog. Similarly, after Bart, while acting as a faith healer, proceeded to "cure" Milhouse of his needing glasses, proceeded to walk out onto the street and then mistook an oncoming car for a dog and promptly got run over. Once, when fighting Bart, he briefly removed his glasses, only to quickly put them back on with the implication that he needed them to see.
Milhouse is of Greek, Italian, Dutch and Danish descent. His mother, Luann Van Houten (née Mussolini), is Italian, although Milhouse never speaks Italian when he spent his days with his grandmother Nana Sophie or is seen with Nana Sophie Mussolini. In Italy, while spending his days with Nana Sophie and accidentally speaking English, he was whipped by his maternal grandmother who angrily believes that her grandson is talking English instead of Italian.
- Aiding and Abetting: he usually helps Bart with his crimes
- Arson: In Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy he along with the (Boys. Right .Association) Burned "Female Itchy & Scratchy" merchandise outside "Krustylu Studios"
Milhouse is nearsighted and wears red glasses. He has yellow skin (like most Caucasians in the series), straight blue hair and wears a light purple T-shirt, red shorts, and matching red shoes. He also has a noticeably large nose and is noted for being among the few characters with eyebrows. He inherits much of his physical traits from Kirk Van Houten, so much that in Hardly Kirk-ing, Milhouse mimics his father due to Bart tightening his vocal chords.