Simpsons Fanon

Merry Simpmas is the first episode in my fanon. It introduces Oscar to the Simpson family.

  • Dan Castellana as Homer Simpson
  • Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson
  • Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson
  • Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson

Guest stars

  • Hank Azaria
  • Harry Shearer
  • Tress MacNeille

And introducing

  • Eileen Stevens as Oscar Tamaki


The chalkboard gag is “I will not waste chalk.” What do you think your 100 lines are them.

”A waste of chalk...” said Bart before skating home.

The couch gag is nothing special. They sit down on the couch.


The Simpsons are in the lounge getting ready for Christmas. Marge is writing letters, Homer is fighting with the tangled up Christmas lights (and the cat) who got in them some how and kids are writing Christmas letters to Santa asking what they want for Christmas.

"Dear Ann Landers, (yes that Ann Landers...)"

"You're a boring old biddy." Homer dictated as Marge write her letter.

Marge glared at him. She continued writing.

"Wishing you a merry Christmas. Ours of course will not be a happy Christmas as you know Snowball died and went to kitty heaven. On the other hand it is a very joyful Christmas because we got a new cat, Snowball II" Marge narrated her letter in her head. Right when she mentions Snowball II she meows tangled up in the Christmas wires and Homer groans.

"Homer I told you to tape up the boxes so she wouldn't get in there..." Marge sighed.

Patty and Selma then call.

Homer answers the phone.


”Is Marge there?” said Selma.

”Who is this?” Homer asked.

”Is Marge there?”

”Who are you?!”

”Is Marge there?”

”Who should I say is calling?!” Homer got agitated.

”Marge please...”

After constantly asking the caller to identify themselves despite knowing who they are passes the phone to Marge. “it’s your sisters...”

”Oooooooooh!” said Marge answering and fiddling with the cable of the phone.

”Merry Christmas our dear sweet, baby sister!” said Selma doting over Marge in baby talk down the phone.

Homer retched and made gagging sounds in the background.

They talk for a bit.

Marge then goes through the Christmas letters. Lisa wants a pony and Bart wants a tattoo.

"A pony, a pony, a pony... Hmmmm! Lisa I don't think Santa can fit a pony on his sleigh." Marge sighed.

"But I've been really really good this year!" said Lisa.

"Can't you ask for a hen?" Marge sighed.

Marge then read Bart's. He wanted a tattoo. She was furious.



She scolds Bart and tells him he can't have a tattoo.

"You can not have a tattoo! You're only ten years old!"

Bart sulked.

"Yeah, if you want one, get it with your own allowance!" Homer yelled.

"Homer!" Marge yelled as Homer was giving bad advice.

Then the doorbell rings. At the door is a young orphan named Oscar.

Marge gasps and takes Oscar in.

They take him since it's Christmas.

“Absolutely no! Marge we do not have room for another kid!” Homer yelled being cruel.

“Homer! It’s minus eight degrees outside! We are not leaving him out there!” Marge snapped letting Oscar in.

Homer groaned.

Once Oscar was warmed up.

"The poor boy was probably just freezing to death out there." Marge sighed.

"I was, Ma'am." said Oscar.

“I’m Marge Simpson and this is my husband Homer.” said Marge. Homer was sulking and muttering about money.

“I’m Lisa.” said Lisa. “Please to meet ya.”

“The names Bart, don’t wear it out...” said Bart doing a high five psyche! Trick.

Maggie sucked her pacifier.

“That’s our baby sister Maggie. She can’t talk because she’s a baby.” said Lisa.

“Oh I talk fluent baby.” said Oscar.

Lisa gave him a funny look.

“Oh I haven’t introduced myself! I’m Oscar by the way.” said Oscar.

“Nice to meet you Oscar.” said Lisa.

There was an awkward pause.

“Um how do I put this...” Oscar explained. “You’re all bright yellow!”

The Simpsons were shocked by this revelation.

”Anyway, you’ll get along with me just fine because I’m sweet, huggable... and not the least bit evil! Nyahahahaha!” Oscar said talking in baby talk/being cute in a mocking way.

”Uh okay...” said Bart. Why did he need to mention he wasn’t the least bit evil....


Homer and Marge attend the kid's school play with Maggie dressed as a starfish. (Look for the dolphin woman in the audience!) Homer has to get past people to sit down. Apparently they are late because Homer was too fat for his pants he was wearing tonight.

"Sorry, s'cuse me, pardon me" said Marge affronted as she squeezed through the seated parents in the direction of the pair of vacant chairs.

Homer on the other hand was offhandedly chatting to each person he was on familiar terms with. "Hey Norman, how's it goin'? So you got dragged down here to huh?" he enquired whilst Marge continued to squash past. "How you doin' Fred? Oops pardon my galoshes hehhehheh" he chuckled as Norman's surprised wife squealed aloud. Homer seized his seat and cursed his poor luck upon realising they sat a measly row behind Ned and Maude Flanders.

"Daddy, why don't we go to this school?" Todd asked.

"Because this is a heathen school for devil children! Separation of the church and state and the eductional system my foot!" said Ned sharply.

Marge sighed.

"He's not gonna like third grade then... all the kids are of different faiths or in our case, no faith at all...." said Norman to his wife.

Various kids, including a smart Ralph (early season weirdness) put on performances of how different countries celebrate Christmas.

Janey is Germany explaining how black Pete or Rupect, I forget, gives whips to the parents of bad children.

“Frohe Weihnachten. That’s German for merry Christmas.” said Janey. Bet you’re thinking Springfield is some sort of gifted school for highly intelligent children. Well unfortunately it all soon goes down hill with bullies and budget cuts. And Bart insisting learning is bad and goofing off is good.

"In Germany Rupect, Saint Nick's servant delivers presents to good children and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones." said Janey. German Santa is badass!

"Coooool!" Bart grinned waiting with his class mates.

Oscar winced frightened.

Smart Ralph is talking about Japan and Shintoism, explaining they worship a dwarf with eyes in the back of his head so he can see everything. Ralph has novelty springy eye glasses on the back of his head.

Parents gasp and clap.

Some one in their version of this episode wrote that Chief Wiggum was watching from the audience. It's season one. It wasn't even established that Clancy was Ralph's father yet. As such Ralph wasn't stupid yet. He was smart.

And Lisa has chosen to represent a primative tribe, possibly Polynesian. She is in a bikini wearing a scary tribal mask while juggling torches.

”Lisa!” Marge gasped not approving at all of her Christmas play performance.

The audience are fixated by the performance.

"Oh my gosh! A Manji!" Oscar remarks while nudging his future classmate Peter Shepherd.

"Oscar that's not a Manji..." Peter groans. A classmate shushes them.

Third grade did a Christmas play where half of them refused to take part in for religious reasons...

"I'm Jewish..." said Jurkle.

"I'm Hindu..." said a Hindu kid.

"I'm an unholy vampire who's surprisingly Zoroastrian. Your faith keeps slaughtering my people because you insist we are unholy demons because we feed on blood..." said Ace.

"Atheist." said Norman's kid.

"Muslim..." said another kid.

Ms McConnell sighed as those kids weren't taking part in the play.

At the end of the school play is a choir.

Bart's class are singing.

"Dashing through the snow..."

"Awww! Bart sings like an angel!" Marge is proud of Bart's singing.

Bart ruins jingle bells.

"Oh Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The bat mobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away!"

Principal Skinner tries to drag him off at "and the Joker got away" but Oscar shoots him. The choir is ruined by Bart's creative new lyrics and alarm because of a shooter. (Oscar)

"Oscar, why did you shoot Skinner..." Bart asked as everyone panicked.

"Because he was ruining your funny song!" Oscar replied giggling.

"Oh I suppose I can't stay mad at you for enjoying my creative lyrics..." Bart sighed.

”Well I can! Oscar what is wrong with you?!” Lisa ranted still dressed as a Polynesian torch juggler. “I don’t want to be friends with someone so violent!”

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” said Oscar. He squinted and screwed his eyes shut as if he was going to toilet, right there and then.

”Eeeeeeew! Are you peeing right now?!” Lisa groaned in disgust.

”Ugh! On the other hand Oz you did just kill someone.” Bart sighed frowning.

”Okay dokey!” Oscar said in a joking, happy-go-lucky tone.

Bart winced.

After everyone stopped panicking.

"Edna, you've got to have a severe word with your student, Bart here just fouled the entire melody…" said Mr Largo, the stern music teacher. He also conducted the choir.

"I fouled my pants..." said Oscar.

"Eeeeeeeeew!" Bart groaned in disgust.

"Edna please keep, 'Bart' under control..." Dewey sighed.

"Only if you keep your drinking under control..." said Edna.

Dewey sighed.


At Home the Simpsons got dry, Oscar insisted Maggie was a starfish and Marge showed off the money jar of the Christmas money she saved up. It was huge and full of green bills.

“Ooooooooh!” Homer was impressed. “You have been frugal, sweetie!”

”Oscar how can you be nine if you were born in 1988? It’s December 17 1989.” said Bart.

”Oh fiddlesticks!” said Oscar as he suddenly became one year and a few Months old. He was just wearing a diaper.

Marge sighed and put him behind the baby fence with Maggie.

"Oh well, I like being a baby and pooping my nappy." said Oscar.

That evening Homer sets up the Christmas lights outside and the kids watch as Marge stays inside to operate the lights. I.E. turn them on to test them.

Homer grunts as he rolls off the roof are setting them up.

“Hehehehe! Good one, Dad.” said Bart as he applauded. (applauds)

“Shut up boy!” Homer snarled.

“Okay, kids, prepare to be dazzled.“ Homer said to Bart, Lisa, Maggie and Oscar. “Marge, turn on the juice!“

Marge inside turned on the Christmas lights.

(electricity crackling) Most of the bulbs were dead with a few flickering.

(pop) Then a bulb died.

“What do you think, kids?“ Homer asked his kids who were clearly not impressed.

“Nice try, Dad.” said Lisa sighing.

Bart groaned. “Ugh...”

Flanders had something to say. He too was setting up his lights. “Just hold your horses, son.” he said to Todd.

(A horse neighing and snuffling) Oscar grinned as he held some tiny live horses in his mitten covered hands.

Bart rolled his eyes exasperated.

“Hey, Simpson!” said Ned.

“What is it, Flanders?” Homer sighed.

“Do you think this looks okay?” Ned turned on his extravagant Christmas lights.

The bright display lit up. There was a robotic Santa.

”Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.” said the Santa.

“Oh, neato.” Bart and Lisa cheered.

“It's too bright.” said Homer being grumpy.

“Yeah Mr Flanders, the bible frowns upon showing off and tarting up your property with bells and whistles.” said Oscar.

”Oh no! Maude! We’ll have to take down the Christmas lights! We need to be more humble!” said Ned.

Oscar giggled deviously.

”I oughta- Flanders. What a big show-off.” Homer muttered as he went inside.

Plot 2[]

Homer goes to work.

He’s eating donuts in the cafeteria.

(Chewing sounds)

Mr Burns has an announcement over the speakers.

As Homer listens more and more fellow employees join him at the donut box and eat the never ending supply of donuts!

”The plant is shutting down for the holidays for this thing people call Christmas. Bah humbug...! And oh, there will be no Christmas bonuses!” said Mr Burns being mean. Also that's illegal...

Homer groaned.

”Uncle that’s illegal...” said Fred Burns. Mr Burns’s um nephew. Look I’m referencing A Christmas Carol!

”Bah humbug!” said Mr Burns.

In Bart's treehouse, Bart tells Oscar his predicament. Oscar agrees to covertly help him get a tattoo.

”Okay but first do one thing for me.” said Baby Oscar.

”What?” Bart asked.

”Change me!” Baby Oscar whined. Bart was wondering what that horrible stench was.

”Eeeeew!” Bart groaned.

At the shopping mall, Bart is sent off to get his presents for the other family members. Oscar distracts Marge by requesting they buy Bart's presents. During this time Bart gets his tattoo and buys a Christmas jumper to wear to cover it.

”One Tattoo please!” Bart asked Dr Marvin Monroe’s cousin Mervin who ran a tattoo parlour.

”Wait how old are you?” Mervin asked.

”21 years old.” Bart lied.

”Get in the chair.” said Mervin.

At home, Bart spends the day playing the Y-box in his room.


Meanwhile Homer is bummed out that Mr Burns cancelled their Christmas bonuses. Oscar decides to help with the three ghosts of Christmas. And the ghost of Bob Marley. No not Jacob Marley, Bob Marley...

”Woooooooooo! Montgomery....” said Bob Marley’s ghost.

”Who the devil are you?!” Mr Burns snapped trying to sleep one night.

”I am de ghost of Bob Marley, ya old business partner! We be jammin jammin, jammin, jammin, jammin! Rocking that reggae and Rastafarian hat mon!”

”That’s Jacob Marley you imbecile!” Mr Burns yelled.

”Yeah but A Christmas Carol with Bob Marley instead would be hilarious!” said Oscar as a baby wearing a diaper.

Unfortunately Mr Burns isn't phased.

”Oz you do realise Obi Wan Kenobi was Jacob Marley...” said Bart.

”Yeah but he can be the ghost of Christmas past! Or maybe that freaky rotting zombie dude from the Bill Murray adaptation that kept falling apart, literally in Scrooge’s office.” said Oscar.

”Burns, use the force! By the power of the force see the goodness within you!” said Obi Wan Kenobi/Sir Alec Guiness.

”No I already joined the dark side! Darth Sidious is my three o clock!” said Mr Burns working in his office.

”Yes, let the hate flow through you!” said Darth Sidious.

”But the ghost of Christmas past is usually depicted as a lady...” Bart sighed.

Obi wan Kenobi showed Mr Burns his past when he was a boy. Unfortunately he was already nasty and mean as a pointy nosed little boy playing with Bobo and being mean and nasty to everyone and firing his father’s servants.

”You’re fired!” He fired the candle stick maker.

The most common depiction of Ghost of Christmas present, an angelic white lady in white was changing Oscar’s diaper and wiping his butt.

The ghost of Christmas present was a bearded man with leaves in his hair crossed with the Roman god Bacchus eating lots of food.

”How dare you help yourself to my larder! Get out!” Mr Burns yelled.

The ghost of Christmas Future was Death himself.

Oscar screamed in fear and banished him.

”Okay the ghost of Christmas future is this!” Oscar shows the episode Bobby it’s cold outside and The Great Phatsby where a rapper billionaire took over the plant and turned it into a nightclub.

”Oh my god! The future is hideous!” Mr Burns screamed.

But Burns still wasn’t phased so he summoned Santa to tell him off.

”Monty you have been very naughty this year!” said Santa Claus.

”I don’t believe in Santa!” said Mr Burns.

So Oscar summons Slenderman who scares Mr Burns into changing his ways. The next day everyone gets their bonuses.


At Home Lisa and Maggie keep poking Bart’s arm covered by his Christmas sweater.

”Ow! Quit it! Ow! Quit it! Ow quit it! Ow! Quit it! Ow! Quit it!” Bart whined glaring ar them. Homer curious poked him. “Ow! Quit it!”

”What’s going on boy?” Homer asked.

”Bart’s arm hurts for some reason and he won’t take off that sweater...” said Lisa suspicious.

”Why should I it’s Christmas!” said Bart.

”Exactly! Good for you boy! At least someone is festive these holidays.” said Homer going off whistling.

”Bart! I know you got that tattoo! For goodness sake Oz stop changing canon!” Lisa ranted under her breath.

Oscar made a face at her.

Homer has enough money to buy a proper tree without trespassing and cutting down protected trees. He is also in a joyful mood so he takes Bart and Lisa along. Lisa is suspicious that Bart is still wearing his Christmas jumper.

They go to a Christmas tree shop ran by Raphael.

"I'll have that tree." Homer asked.

"Coming right up Pally!" said Raphael.

Bart sees a tiny miserable looking tree.

”What kind of blockhead would buy that tree...” said Bart. It was on reserve for a Charlie Brown.

Homer drives the tree home tied to the roof.

Oscar giggles at this. "Awww! It's getting a ride home!"

"Oscar that's not funny, the poor tree won't last very long without its roots!" Lisa whined. "I think it needs some water."

Meanwhile Patty and Selma and Grampa come over for a visit.

They all reluctantly watch Happy Little Elves because that's what Maggie, Oscar and Lisa want to watch. It is upsetting because an elf falls into the honey and gets turned into a Happy Little Green idiot, an ugly scribbly thing floundering about in the honey.

Yendor has to find the curious bear cub to save him. Yendor is riding on a giant green bear cub.

Meanwhile Mouldy is being miserable about Christmas to Bubbles.

“Mouldy do you think Santa will find our village under all this snow?” A bubbles look a like Elf asked an elderly elf.

"I don't know... We're gonna have a sad Christmas this year..."

"Oh no!" Lisa cries.

"Oh for the love of God! Put on Matlock!" Grampa yells.

On Happy Little Elves: Happy Little Christmas, the curious bear cub sniffs the camera with his big wet shiny green nose.

Baby Oscar grimaces and wets his diaper.

An elf falls in a pot of honey and turns into a scribble thing. “Help! Help!”

“Faster, faster! We gotta save Bubbles.” said Yendor riding the curious bear cub.

Boing boing! Boing boing! There are cartoony boing sounds for the bear cub jumping about.

Oscar laughed.

Lisa snickered. The cartoon did have it’s funny moments.


Next after setting up and decorating the tree, with Oscar's magical powers.

"Why is there a bird house in there?" Selma asks.

"That's an ornament..." Homer remarks.


They decorate the outside of the house. Bart is disappointed by the broken Christmas lights. Ned shows off his Christmas lights which are better. Oscar decides to teach Ned a thing about pride and magically makes the Simpson lights even more impressive.

That evening the kids write proper letters to Santa. Ones without mentions of ponies and tattoos.

"Why do we bother? There's only one fat guy who delivers us presents and his name ain't Santa." said Bart.

"Bart!" Homer scolded him for making fun of his weight.

Marge read Lisa's list at the end it said PS one pony please!

"Oh Lisa..." Marge sighed.

"You're nuts about ponies ain't ya?" Oscar asked. "How about you just get her a My Little Pony video tape..."

"Because I have every episode..." Lisa replied.

While Marge was explaining to Bart he couldn’t have a machine gun for Christmas Oscar read her letter to Ann Landers. He frowned and rolled his eyes. He disliked Ann Landers.

”Dear Ann Landers...” Oscar read the letter and frowned. He decided to fix the sappy letter to that annoying old biddy.

”PS. You’re a boring old biddy.” Oscar wrote. He smirked and put the letter back in its envelope.


Homer was in bed with something on his mind. In canon it was telling Marge they had no Christmas bonus at work this year, which was bad given Marge spent her savings removing Bart’s tattoo, in my fanon it was over Bart constantly wearing sweaters so no one could ever see his arms.

”Yes dear?” Marge asked.

”Oh I want to do some Christmas shopping!” said Homer in a hurry.

”Why sure! Here’s some ideas of what the kids want. I’m sorry they asked for zany or impossible things. That’s our kids for you...” said Marge giving him the letters to Santa.

The next day Homer goes Christmas shopping and buys paper for Bart and a pork chop squeak toy for Maggie. He bumps into the Flanderses again.

"Mr Simpson, you dropped your porkchop." Rod explained squeaking the porkchop toy.

"Gimme that!" Homer grabs it, causing it to squeak.

At Moes, Barney explains he has got a second job as a mall Santa. Homer decides to take up the job.

Meanwhile at a high tech laboratory with a huge ass laser.

”Ay carumba!” Bart gasped.

”What’s the date again?” Oscar asked.

”December 17, 1989.” said Bart.

”My late sister, Bigmouth’s birthday whom the author brought back for a gag...” said Oscar.

”There you are!” said a fat potato thing with a huge mouth and tiny piggy eyes. “It’s my birthday and you are supposed to be watching me open my presents!!”

”Why do I have to always do as you say...” Oscar sulked.

”Because you’re my Teeny tiny little baby brother...” said Bigmouth using the illusion of perception and depth while squeezing her fingers that from where Oscar was standing it looked like she was squeezing his head. Oscar frowned annoyed but winced as he age regressed back into a baby again.

Bigmouth dragged him off somewhere, “After cake we’ll play dollies. And you’re the dolly...”

Oscar was mortified.


However Homer does poorly and is hostile to the very rude teacher who happens to be Bart's evil psychiatrist. He looks like an evil hypnotist! Look it didn't really come up much in the cartoon!

They are reciting how to laugh heartedly like Santa. "Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Homer then puts his hand up.

"What is it Mr Simpson?!" The evil hypnotist/psychiatrist asks.

"When do we get paid?" Homer asks.

"Not until Christmas Eve! Now from the top.

Next Homer has to recite the names of Santa's reindeer.

"Rudolph... Blitzen, Prancer... Donald Dixon?" said Homer.

The hypnotist face palms. "Sit down Simpson."

Then Homer is to demonstrate how to deal with a naughty child.

"Well what do you want for Christmas Little boy?" Homer asks in character.

"You're not the real Santa!" said the psychiatrist/hypnotist.

"Why you little!" Homer yelled.

"Homer no! Remember if a child says that just say Santa is very busy this year and you're one of his helpers." said the evil hypnotist. "Now lets try again."

After that Homer eventually graduated and was assigned to a mall as a mall Santa.

Plot 3[]

First he had a little girl feel sorry for him because he looked sad.

"I hope you feel better Santa." said the girl.

"Oh I will when Mrs Clause's ugly sisters leave town! Hohoho!" said Homer.

Then a fat boy with a donut sat on Homer's lap and demanded lots of presents, boring Santa.

“And then I want some Robotoids. And then I want a Goop Monster. (Oscar wants one too!) And then I want I great big, giant-“ said the fat kid with a donut.

"Hey, how about a bite of that donut kid?" Homer asked.

He bit some of the kid's donut and got in trouble with the newspapers.

"Homer! Do not yell at kids and do nut accept or help yourself to any food they have! Now I'm giving you one last chance!" said the hypnotist who was also teaching volunteers to be mall Santas.

Homer whined.

At the Mall Lenny as a mall Santa was tired and asked the staff dressed as elves to cover for him.

”I’m pooped. cover for me Elfie.” He asked one of the Christmas elves.

”I’m Elfo...” said Elfo from Disenchanted.

Homer goes back to his post. Next up is GIR dressed up as a boy with an enormous head.

"Well hello there partner! What do you want for Christmas?" Homer asked.

"I wanna a pair of flies! I want two bowls of glue to be my friend! And I wanna go dancing naked!! (He falls on his big head) And a chair made of cheese and a table made of cheese..." said GIR in disguise.

Homer is losing his patience and growling.

"And a clown with no head!" said GIR.

Homer sighed. "If you be good I'll get you a train! But not that um clown thing..."


Homer winced.

Elsewhere in the mall Otto was handing out candy canes to the children. How nice!

“Merry Christmas, dude.” said Otto giving Baby Oscar a candy cane. “Don't put it in your nose. It burns like hell.” (I crack up laughing!)

After Otto left, Oscar looked about shifty and then shoved the candy cane, lower end first, up his living teddy bear’s right nostril.

”Ugh... real mature Oscar...” Teddy the living teddy bear creature groaned.

Meanwhile Bart and Milhouse were watching.

"That looks so lame..." said Milhouse.

"Yeah... I dare you to sit on his lap." said Bart.

"I dare you to yank his beard off!" said Milhouse.

"Ah! Touché!" said Bart accepting the challenge.

Bart was put on Homer's lap. Homer recognises his own son right away. "So what's your name Bar-I mean little partner?" said Homer.

"I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?!" Bart said rudely.

"I'm jolly old Saint Nick!" Homer growled.

"Oh really? We'll just see about that!" said Bart yanking off his beard!

"D'oh!" Groaned Homer as the paparazzi took photos. "A word in Santa's hut, little boy..." Homer said in quiet but dangerous anger. "Cover for me Jim."

Homer took Bart in Santa's hut.

"Please don't kill me Dad! I didn't know it was you!" begged Bart.

"No one's supposed to! I'm a mall Santa! I'm doing this for a little extra money." said Homer.

"Ugh! Dad how can you sink so low..." said Bart.

"Hey what's wrong with making lots of kids happy?" Homer asked. "Now run along. And no more pulling off Santa Clause beards..."

Bart left the hut followed by Homer.

"Santa's back kids! Hohoho! (Bangs his head on the door way) Damnit!" said Homer.

Everyone gasps.

"Santa is aaaaagh! Oooooow!" Homer is whining in pain as he holds his head.

Bart laughs as he runs off.

Homer has to lie down for a bit.

"Cover for me Barney."

Barney is the mall Santa for a bit.

Baby Oscar is next to sit on his lap.

"Uuuuuuuurp! What's your name little partner?" Barney belched.

"Poo-poo!" Baby Oscar blurbled. A cartoon splat and green stink vapours emitting from him tells us that he messed his diaper...


It's payday for the mall Santas and the payroll lady tries to fob Homer off, but Oscar threatens her with a shotgun to pay up fairly.

The lady hastily pays Homer more money.

“Woohoo!” Homer cheered.

Bart frowned at Oscar.

Homer meets Barney afterwards who is going to the dog races. Homer agrees to go.

Homer takes Bart and Oscar to the dog racing with Barney. Bart and Barney are singing "I'm in the money! I'm in the money!" Barney is carrying Bart on his shoulders.

Homer cried tears of happiness. "Now I'm glad I made you Bart's godfather!" said Homer tearfully.

In the arena.

“Dad can we open our presents yet?” A boy asked his dad.

”Not till the eight race.” said the dad.

Oscar being clairvoyant can see into the future and picks the winning dog. Homer wins lots of money and they get a pet dog, the losing dog, Santa's little helper. After he's thrown out by his owner.

”And stay out! Stupid mutt!” The cruel owner banished his dog just because it lost the race. The dog heads towards Bart and Homer. Barney drives home in a fancy car with beautiful ladies and champagne. Wooooo!

Bart begs Homer to take the dog in but Homer refuses.

"Please Dad!" Bart begs.


"Dad! This could be the Christmas miracle that saves the Simpsons! If TV has taught me anything it's that a Christmas miracle always saves the main characters! It happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to the Smurfs. So it's got to happen to us!"

"But he's a loser! He's-" Santa's Little Helper jumps into Homer's arms and licks him. "A Simpson!"

They go home with their new dog. "Who's Tiny Tim?" Homer asked.

They go home triumphant with their new pet and everyone sings Christmas songs. However Bart and Lisa ruin Rudolf the red nose reindeer with silly lyrics.

Rudolf the red nosed nosed reindeer! Had very shiny nose! And if you ever saw him, you might even say it glows!

"Like a lightbulb!" said Bart.

"Bart!" Homer yelled.

All the other reindeer, they would always call him names!

"Like Shnozzola!" said Lisa.

"Lisa!" Homer yelled.

They wouldn't let him join in their reindeer games!

"Like Strip poker!" said Bart.

"I'm warning you!!" Homer scolds them over the lyrics. However Marge changes the lyrics so he feels undermined.

Grandpa groans at him for not being in the mood while singing.

"Like Atilla the Hun!" Bart finishes the song and gets strangled by Homer.


Later on in the Christmas holidays.

“My powers of deduction tell me you're getting a handmade sweater, possibly yellow." Bart was trying to guess a present.

”Bart!” Lisa yelled.

”Bart stop guessing the presents!” Marge told him off.

Then Mr Burns eventually learned the true meaning of Christmas.

”You there boy! What day is it?” Mr Burns asked Bart who was playing in the snow.

“Oh, why it's Christmas day gov'na! Have a little figgy pudding and a snifter of the yuletide log!" said Bart talking in a ridiculous Victorian British accent.

”Don’t make fun you stupid Yank! My people don’t all talk like that!” Oscar yelled.


  • This episode is based off of Simpsons on a Roasting Fire, the very first episode of the Simpsons.
  • The art style is very early so the characters look ugly and badly designed. There is also a black Smithers and a black haired Moe.