MechaStreisand on an archeological day trip with his class and second and third grade, Bart discovers a relic Called the triangle of Zinthar. The journalist from Two cars in every garage, three eyes on every fish warns him Barbara Streisand wants it to obtain ultimate power! This is apparently very bad.
The chalkboard gag is “I will not tease Fatty.”
“Hey!” Uter the fat German kid yelled.
“I was unaware your name is now Fatty, Uter.” Bart answered smugly before leaving when the bell rang as usual.
The couch gag is old men in towels sat round the hot coals of a sauna. The Simpsons arrive wearing white towels but blush seeing the men and leave to wait until the sauna is empty.
The episode starts at the police station. Wiggum has set up a sting operation to catch all the criminals. By giving away free motorboats.
“And when they come in wanting their boat, bam! We beat them within the confines of the law and charge them!”
“I’ve sent these phoney tickets all over town! Now we just wait for the fish to come rolling in...” saidWiggum as Eddie and Lou put up the free boat sign.
“Hook, line and sinker, Chief!” said Eddie.
“That’s a good one Eddie!” said Lou.
“Yeah great pun Eddie.” said Wiggum. “I wonder who would be stupid enough to fall for this?”
Meanwhile Homer was driving his family about while wearing a sailor hat he probably stole from Ernest Borgnine having already stolen his pen knife.
“Hey give me back my sailor hat! No one steals from a Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy!” Ernest Borgnine yells chasing after Homer’s pink car.
“Ugh! We get it! He’s Mermaid Man in Spongebob!” Bart groaned.
Homer was singing about getting a boat. His family were smart and paranoid enough to see through Wiggum’s trap.
“Dad we didn’t even enter a prison raffle...” said Bart.
Hugo growled and moaned in gibberish.
“Hmmmm! I’m mighty suspicious about all this...” said Marge.
“Yeah. Something doesn’t add up...” said Lisa.
“You are the most paranoid family I have ever been affiliated with!” Homer yelled. Getting out of the car and going into the police station.
“You’re my second most paranoid family I have ever been affiliated with. After my Uncle Buck when he gets paranoid from his weed.” said Oscar.
We cut to Oscar at home with his uncle, who is paranoid from the effects of cannabis.
“Who’s there?! No I swear officer, the car is licensed and taxed!” Uncle Buck Tamaki blabbered in paranoia.
In the police station Homer rudely barged past Snake Jailbird in the queue and put down his ticket. “I’ve come for my boat! I want a yellow one!”
“Hey dude! No cutting in line! Mr Cutter!” Snake scolded Homer.
“Hey I recognize that mullet any day! My toupee from Treehouse of Horror IX that caused me to inexplicably go on a killing spree and tried to kill my son... You found a new head...” said Homer.
“My name is Snake and this is my hair! Some loser at the hospital probably donated it to you against my will after I was dead briefly!” said Snake.
“Okay Snake, your boat’s right this way behind this door.” said Wiggum smugly. Winking at Homer.
Snake went in the back room but Eddie and Lou cuffed him.
“Hey! Leggo!” They clobber him with their batons. “Ow! This is police brutality!”
“No it’s not! You’re white and it’s not 2020 yet!” said Wiggum.
Wiggum hastily shut the door of the back room hoping Homer didn’t get suspicious.
“Um your boat should be right this way Homer.” said Wiggum.
He guided Homer into the back room.
Homer was chatting about what he wanted on his boat when Eddie andLou grabbed him in an arm lock and cuffed him. “Ow! My boat sailing arm! What the?!”
“Read him his rap sheet Lou.” said Wiggum. “What’s he in for?”
“Um nothing Chief! This man is completely innocent! Criminal record almost clean. Apart from that speeding offence he’s already done time for and vehicle theft, which he also already did time for...” said Lou.
“We must have something on him!” Wiggum whined.
“Well he does 230 unpaid parking fines...” said Lou.
“Well Book him for them then.” said Wiggum.
“Oooooh! Fine! I’ll pay!” Homer groaned annoyed “I was double parked!”. The cops released him to pay a check for his fines. Then the cuffed him again and sat him down.
Somehow during that time Oscar fell for the free motorboats and got arrested and beaten up. He had a black eye and bandages wrapped round his head and arm.
“What the?! Why are you here? You’re too young to drive a motorboat!” Homer yelled.
“They’re giving away Motorboats?! I’m here for the hot lady with the enormous rack she’s letting guys ‘Motorboat’ Mblblblblblblbl!” said Oscar shaking his head rapidly and making Boss Nass jowl wobbling sounds.
“Eeeeeeew!” Homer groaned. “You have serious issues! Kids your age should not know what motor boating is!”
Homer was later driving home glaring and oddly quiet.
“Um Homer, why are you so quiet?” Bart asked. “Where’s the boat?”
“I didn’t like it. The mast had termites...” Homer lied, angrily.
“Why would a motor boat have a mast?!” Lisa asked. “Or termites?!” Motorboats are made of plastic and metal.
“Look I don’t wanna talk about it! Okay?!” Homer snapped as they came to the traffic lights.
Everyone exchanged silent awkward glances. Trying not to provoke Homer.
“Hey look! There’s that new mall they’re building!” said Marge as the camera pans out to a mall still in mid construction being built. “They say it has an air conditioner more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs!”
“Coooooool!” said Oscar. Mmmm... deadly air conditioner...
“Hey!” said Lisa. “They can’t just build a mall on Sabretooth Meadow! That’s where they discovered all those fossils!”
“And where Wolverine had that fight with Sabretooth!” said Oscar.
“No Oz! Don’t be silly!” Lisa sighed.
“Oh... fossils Shmozzils... you can’t stop progress because of some mouldy old bones...” Homer said to Lisa. “Bones, Schmones...”
Homer then drove off away from the mall being built.
“But they might be paving over rare specimens! Pull over so we can complain Dad! Come on!” said Lisa. “Who wants to complain with me?”
No one was interested.
“Fine... I’ll come back later...” Lisa sighed. “I’ll come back Later! Who wants to come back later with me?” No one was interested. “Fine...”
Lisa had one last option because of my fanon. “Oz why aren’t you saying anything?! You love dinosaurs and digging holes in the ground!” Lisa whined at Oscar.
“I hate the science behind palaeontology... it ruined Jurassic Park for me!” said Oscar in a huff.
“Oz... Hugo and I have kept explaining to you... Dilophosaurus did not have a frilled lizard neck frill or the ability to spit blinding venom into the eyes of their attackers...” Lisa sighed.
At the building site of the new mall. That one mayhem theme plays as bulldozers get to work.
Lisa was talking to the foremen with Lionel Hutz.
“My attorney and I are calling in article (some three digit number um 173?) Protection of antiquities and fossils...” Lisa spoke.
Lionel Hutz nodded and tapped his briefcase. It fell open and there was an apple core and a half eaten sandwich inside. He hastily shut his briefcase he kept his lunch in...
“Little girl, there’s no fossils here. The museum dug them up ages ago...” a foreman explained.
“But you could have missed some! You have to allow for an archeological survey!” Lisa implied.
“Um yes... that thing...” acknowledged Lionel Hutz.
“Hohohoho! Who’s gonna make us?! You?” The Forman with blue hair asked laughing.
The foreman with blue hair was about to further scoff at this but his college suggested to let Lisa have her way. “After all, it could be good publicity.”
“Okay little girl. You want to dig? You can dig.” remarked the foreman.
“Very well Dr Jones, you want to dig? Then you can dig...” Belloq affirmed Indiana Jones.
Lisa winced at this cameo.
“Very well! We’ll see you in court!” stated Lionel Hutz.
“Mr Hutz we’ve won!” Lisa explained.
“We?!” Lionel Hutz asked.
Lisa went into Skinner’s office.
“Principal Skinner? Remember when I didn’t squeal on finding a scorpion in my apple sauce? Well I’m calling in a favor...” Lisa
“No fair! I want to find a scorpion in my apple sauce...” Hugo who was in detention in Skinner’s office for something whined. “Mmmmmm... extra protein...”
“Eeeeeew!” Lisa groaned at the thought of him eating a scorpion.
“Hmmmmmm... I was afraid this day would come...” said Skinner sitting in such away there was dramatic shadows from the blinds with only the stripes of light upon him illuminating the room in a moody fashion.
In fourth grade he could be heard calling over the speakers.
“Attention all honor students. You have been rewarded with an archeological field dig!” said Skinner from his office over the speakers.
“Yaaaaaaaaay! Martin, and Sherri and Terri cheered. Yes Sherri and Terri... Matt are you high...?
Bart, Boy with shades and Milhouse looked at each other confused by the twins suddenly being geeks. Then everyone threw their books, screwed up paper balls and shoes aggressively at Sherri and Terri.
“What did we do to deserve this?!” The twins cried as they were pelted with things for being geeks.
There was another announcement. “And in other news. All detention students will be punished with an archeological dig.” said Skinner.
The cool kids groaned and muttered. Bart and Milhouse in particular.
At the site of the mall there was a big hole and students in it digging. And Jimbo and his gang are there wearing orange prison uniforms for some reason...
Milhouse who was waiting outside the trench with Bart climbed down into the trench and waved a friendly wave at someone... Jimbo was then singing.
“Gonna dig me a hole!”
“Gonna dig me a hole!” The bullies sing. Lead by Jimbo.
“Gonna put a nerd in it.”
“Gonna put a nerd in it.” This time Dolph lead.
“Gonna light fire crackers...” sung Kerney.
Lisa was with Skinner and the foremen over looking the dig. Lisa was wearing a green hat and a blue sweater as a super hero cape. She had a telescope to look at the site.
Skinner’s dialogue over mistaking a cold of dirt for a rock is boring so... over to Bart and Oscar.
“Hey dweebs! Why aren’t you making out with your new boyfriend!?” Oscar said rudely to Sherri and Terri while pointing to Martin who was digging and brushing things he had dug up.
“For your information he is not our boyfriend!” said Sherri.
“I think what Oz is getting at ladies is why the heck were you cheering when Skinner said ‘All honor students have been rewarded with an archeological dig?!” Bart ranted. “Have you gone over to the geek side or something?!”
However he never got an answer because Ralph called out.
“Prim nipple slipper Principle Skimmed milk! I found something!” Ralph called.
Everyone gathered round him.
“A spear head!” Ralph held the head of his trough.
“Ralph that’s your trough. Its head fell off while you were digging...” said Miss Hoover.
“And I found it!” said Ralph.
“Okay everyone back to work! You never know! We might find a tyrannosaurus!” said Lisa.
“Cooooool!” said Oscar.
Ralph screamed and ran off somewhere.
The sun was big and setting like the lion king sun rise.
“Anabeatsebabaaaaaaah!” Sung Swahili singers.
“Oz turn that off now!” Bart yelled exhausted from digging as Oscar’s beatbox radio was playing the lion king sunrise song.
Children were slumped down exhausted and sweltering from digging in the hot sun. Even Sherri and Terri.
Bart and Milhouse were shovelling up sand and dirt and pouring it down Martin’s pants. While chuckling as they did so. Martin was blissfully asleep completely unaware.
“Well this was a waste of time...” griped Skinner having even more boring dialogue. “Come on kids. Let’s go home to our mothers...” Hehehehe... he’s so weird...
“Don’t give up!” Lisa encouraged. “I’m sure we’ll find something!” She started digging with a shovel.
Dramatic Indiana Jones music played. “Come on! A bottle cap, a fish bone from Hugo’s lunch! Anything!” Lisa urged as she dug.
Suddenly she gasped as she unearthed a human skull.
Sallah, Indiana Jones’s Egyptian friend screamed in horror like when he saw Anubis.
“Oz no...” Lisa sighed and dug up more dirt. “Everyone come over here!”
Lisa gasped as she unearthed a skeleton.
Somehow this news reached all the townsfolk and they arrived with Homer rudely pushing through to get to the trench.
“Out of the way! I was here first!” vaunted Homer.
Everyone saw a skeleton.
“It’s a skeleton!” Moe observed.
Homer screamed because he disliked skeletons.
“How did he die Doc?” Ned inquired Hibbert.
Dr Hibbert chuckled. “Ahehehehe! In my honest medical opinion, I don’t know!”
“Wait there’s more!” Lisa brushed away dirt. She gasped because the skeleton had wings. “What is this?!”
“In my honest medical opinion... that ain’t right...” joked Dr Hibbert.
“Yeah and conjoined twins always have one good twin and one evil twin and the evil twin must be locked up and starved...” Oscar ranted at Hibbert.
“Shut up! You can make out with your boyfriend the mutant later!” Homer yelled at Oscar.
“Eeeeew!” Oscar grimaced.
“I don’t get it! This is a human skeleton but these other bones are wings!” said Lisa.
“It’s an Angel!” Ned declared.
“No! Of course not! Let’s be logical here Mr Flanders!” Lisa protested.
“Lisa says it’s an angel!” Moe cajoled.
“No I did not! As a scientific genius I don’t believe in make believe things like angels... there must be a logical explanation...”
“Such as...” Wiggum asked.
“Um... a Neanderthal got bitten by some big angry fish...” suggested Lisa.
In a dream a Homer caveman was fishing barehanded for food. He found a starfish, muttered and threw it away and continued wading his arms in the water to find something to eat. Suddenly something big bit him and he screamed and ran around screaming with sharks on his arms like Fish for arms Spuckler before dying.
In reality all the bible lot and everyone else were quick to disbelieve her.
“Yeah right a Neanderthal... who ever heard of a Neanderthal!?” Wiggum sneered in disbelief.
“I want to believe it’s an angel! It’s an angel!” said Moe. Everyone agreed with Moe.
“I live in a town of idiots...” Lisa sighed.
“Now hold on!” Cleatus added. “I believe this little girl’s fish neander whatcha call it!”
“You do?!” Lisa asked pleased. “Well it is just a theory...”
“Of course! That fish story is how my son Fish for arms got fishes clamped on his arms!” said Cleatus bringing forward a boy with his arms inside a fish on each arm.
“I am in horrible pain!” The boy cried.
Everyone muttered that Lisa was perhaps right.
“Well I want to believe it’s an angel!” said Ned.
“It’s not... Angels can’t die Mr Flanders, as far as I know. Can they Reverend?” Oscar asked.
“Um... No.” said Lovejoy.
“Okay What is it then. And I refuse to except devil science about primitives and sharks for arms...” Ned sighed.
“It’s Skellig! You murdered him!” said Oscar. Bart slapped him for being stupid.
“No it’s the monster from Jeepers Creepers! We’re all gonna die!” Hugo yelled. Bart slapped him for being stupid too.
“Look we can’t agree so I am taking this angel skeleton home and charging rubes to see it! Goodbye!” said Homer driving home with the angel skeleton he somehow removed from the ground while everyone was talking...
Bart shrugged and found something gold glittering in the trench. “I found something! Looks like gold!” said Bart.
Everyone gathered round.
“I bet it’s the holy grail.” said Ned.
“Mr Flanders butt out... we’ve had enough of your angel talk... let’s have some science. Delicious magical science!” said Lisa.
Bart dug up the golden thing. It was a brown triangle with golden metal, probably gold around the outside and a harp like symbol on it.
“What the heck is this relic.
“Hold on Bro. I have a book on ancient relics I borrowed from the library yesterday.” said Hugo taking out a big nerdy book and flicking through it.
Then he found Bart’s triangle and gasped.
“What is it Hugo?” Bart asked.
“This is the triangle of Zinthar! With its twin the triangle of Krewluck, they form the diamond of Pantheos! A relic of unimaginable power!” said Hugo reading.
“And...” Bart asked.
“The Triangle of Krewluck has already fallen into the hands of Barbara Streisand. That singer mentioned in season fifteen, Simple Simpson. Who apparently hates America. If she were to get ahold of this she would gain phenomenal powers! Which given her reputation for hating the US and suing Google Earth for taking a photo of her house.... I’d say she would likely use those powers for evil...” Hugo explained. “You must not let her have it. Under any circumstances!”
“Okay...” said Bart.
Meanwhile Lisa and the towns folk were still arguing over the angel skeleton.
Ned and mostly everyone else insisted it was an angel.
“No it’s probably some poor misfortunate Neanderthal who died with fish clamped onto his arms...“ said Lisa.
“No! It’s Skellig!” said Oscar.
“Or The Creeper from Jeepers Creepers.” said Hugo reading.
“Guys it’s not any fictional characters!” Lisa sighed. “It could be a mutant from the Nuclear power plant!”
“Nonsense! Our mutants all have flippers!” said Mr Burns. “Uh oh! Shouldn’t have said that...”
“Awwwww! Mutants...” Oscar and Hugo cooed thinking mutant monsters were cute.
Bart sighed while looking at the Triangle of Zinthar. “I wonder what Barbara Streisand is up to now...” said Bart.
Barbara Streisand’s house. There is a sign saying “No photographs! That includes you Google!”
Inside Barbara Streisand was cackling evilly. I don’t know why. Simpsons and South Park don’t like her for some reason. Well she was mean to Google Earth... and apparently she fusses over people not pronouncing Streisand properly...
Suddenly she sensed something.
“The triangle of Zinthar has been found! I must find out who has it!” said Barbara Streisand. She looks into a crystal ball. The crystal ball reveals Bart Simpson has it.
“I must go to Evergreen Terrace! Hmmmm... not as glamorous as where I live...” said Barbara. Then she sung songs from Funny Lady. A musical she did.
At Home Homer put the angel in the garage and set up a shrine for it and Christmas lights etc.
“Homer that seems rather sacrilegious...” Marge nagged.
“No it’s not. This poor guy was one of Mr Lord’s angels um... Michaelangelo... or... Leonardo... you know the four Italian ones...”
“Dad you mean the archangel Michael...” said Lisa. “And I’ve told you it is illogical for that to be an angel... there must be a logical explanation.
“Oooh! You don’t go on about Bart’s mystical triangle he found...” Homer groaned.
“Oh Oscar copying an episode of South Park... I don’t care...” said Lisa.
Meanwhile henchmen working for Barbara Streisand were arriving...
And Hugo soon started fighting with his brother over the triangle of Zinthar simply because it was shiny and he wanted it. Plus he was still teething and wanted something to chew on.
“Hugo! Let go!” Bart was in a tug of war with Hugo over the triangle of Zinthar.
Hugo whined incoherently.
“Guys! Stop!” Oscar yelled separating them. “Hugo that is Bart’s! Bart, Hugo is teething he needs a teething toy.” Oscar explained.
“Teething? I thought he’d have grown out of that...” said Bart.
“Well he hasn’t.” said Oscar as Hugo whine and held his mouth from a tooth ailment. Oscar gave him a toy he really didn’t mind Hugo chewing. Hugo chewed it to sooth his teeth pains.
“Plus I know what Hugo’s suffering. Having big cartoonish buck teeth is painful. Just ask Teddy.”
“Well my oversized incisors don’t hurt that much anymore.” said Teddy. Oscar’s buck toothed teddy bear creature.
“Anyhoo dweeble Dee and dweeble dum... i can’t figure out the symbol on this.” said Bart.
“It looks like a dead language like Aramaic or Sumerian.” said Hugo.
“Cooool!” said Oscar. “Like Zuul!”
“Zuuuuuul!” Zuul yelled.
“Not now Zuul...” said Oscar.
“This symbol whatever language it’s in looks like two snakes or a snake harp!” said Bart.
“I bet the other triangle has an identical symbol on it.” said Hugo.
“Well we can count our lucky stars that Ms Streisand doesn’t have both. If that’s really a bad thing. I bet she doesn’t even know...” there’s a gun clicking.
Bart opens his eyes because he had them closed while prattling on to find there were now gun touting goons in his room holding Oscar and Hugo at gun point. Suddenly Barbara Streisand stepped forward from the hallway.
“Little boy, I do believe you have my triangle.” she said politely.
“Yes I have a triangle. What of it?” Bart asked.
“You don’t know who I am. Do you?” asked Barbara Streisand.
“As a matter of fact I do! You’re Barbara Streisand!” said Bart.
“Ah excellent! Much less stupid than those brats from Colorado...” said Barbara Streisand. “Now hand over my triangle of Zinthar please.
“No way!” said Bart.
The goons pointed guns at Oscar and Hugo’s heads.
“Ahhhhhh! I don’t want to die! Just give her the triangle!” Oscar cried.
“Oz! Bart don’t! If she wants it that bad then she mustn’t have it!” said Hugo.
“Hugo are you trying to get us killed?! Just let her have her freaky jewellery if she wants it that bad!” Oscar whined.
Bart was pondering confused by Oscar and Hugo bickering. He wondered who to listen to.
“Yoink!” said Barbara Streisand taking the triangle of Zinthar.
“Hey!” Bart whined.
“Oh no!” Hugo lamented.
“At last! The diamond of Pantheos is complete! Now I will obtain powers beyond imagination! Hahahahahaha! You poor fools! You do not understand the diamon of Pantheos’s powers! You are not worthy! Now I shall ascend to a far greater form than this body!”
In a cool light show Barbara Streisand transformed before Bart, Oscar and Hugo.
“I am no longer Barbara Streisand! I am. MechaStreisand!” She transformed into a MechaGodzilla ripoff but with Barbara Streisand hair.
“Oh Shazbot...” Bart gulped as Barbara turned into a giant robot monster and tore out of the house and stomped off on a rampage.