Simpsons Fanon

Marge vs Singles, Seniors etc Maggie is obsessed with Roofi. A baby programme presenter who plays sappy annoying songs. Much to her family’s chagrin. Then Marge as a treat takes her to see Roofi live but he is arriving late on stage and it starts raining so the babies get restless and start misbehaving/acting like hippies at Woodstock. When Roofi arrives someone threw a baby bottle at him so he got annoyed and stormed off, revealing off TV he was short tempered and irritable. The babies promptly riot.

In retaliation Lindsey Naegle and others fed up with children take away child related things like kids menus, Toys R Us etc. Marge fights back for her kids.


The couch gag is someone throwing throwing knives at the Simpsons. They expertly narrowly miss them by inches. (Or was that what the knife thrower intended?) Homer goes to take the remote only to yelp as throwing knife narrowly misses him. The camera pans round to reveal the knife thrower was Sideshow Bob! His theme tune plays.

The story begins with Bart watching Steve Irwin being attacked by a crocodile.

However someone turned the TV over.

“Hey! I was watching that!” Bart yelled. Lisa has the remote.

“Well now you’re not...” Lisa smirked. She had put on a Malibu Stacy themed House makeover show for Doll’s houses and Shoebox houses.

Bart started fighting with her over the TV remote.

“Momma I got propane in my urethra.” said Hank Hill as the TV rapidly switched channels.

Oscar came in and sighed. He got the magic Radioactive TV remote and paused Lisa.

“Awesome! Thanks Oz!” said Bart snatching the TV remote from Frozen Lisa and putting Steve Irwin back on. However the episode had ended. “Aw! I missed it...” said Bart.

“No problem.” Oscar magically rewinded the show with the radioactive super remote.

Bart watched his show in peace. Steve Irwin was attacked by a crocodile and mauled to death. “Coooooool! Blood!” Bart cooed. The episode ended with Steve Irwin’s arms and legs floating in a bloody pool.

Marge came in.

“Bart! What have I told you about playing with that magic TV remote! Unfreeze your sister!” Marge told him off.

Oscar sighed and unpaused Lisa by pressing play on the remote.

Lisa grunted angrily and stormed off. “You boys are so annoying!”

“Anyway you’ll have to finish what you’re watching Bart as it’s Maggie’s time now!” said Marge taking the normal remote and turning the TV over to Roofi.

Roofi, a guitar playing man was playing stupid songs about ice cream...

“Moooom... That’s Roofi... Programmes like that and Barney are why babies are stupid...” Bart groaned.

“Bart! Babies just know to only like good wholesome and cute stuff!” said Marge.

“Mom why don’t you let us watch TV and get Maggie the Roofi CD...” said Bart.

“Bart!” Oscar whined. He spoke in pig Latin not to give her ideas.

“Why not? What could go wrong?” Bart asked in Pig Latin.

Oscar replied in pig Latin that she’d go out and buy them, stupid!

“I was Young once, boys!” Marge explained in Pig Latin.


Unfortunately Marge did end up buying the Roofi CD. Thanks Bart...

It was playing sappy songs at dinner. Bart tried to blot it out by smearing mashed potatoes on his ears. But Santa’s Little Helper licked the mashed potato off.

It even annoyed Lisa while she was brushing her teeth while Marge in the background was giving Maggie a bath.

Lisa got fed up and pulled the plug on the radio. It was still playing.

“It’s backed up with batteries!” said Marge.

Lisa grabbed the radio, took off the battery panel and took out the batteries. It still played.

“Backed up by solar energy!” The radio had a solar panel.

“Not for long!” said Oscar. He took out of his sweater the Lunar Locket Shen Gong Wu. “Lunar Locket!”

There was an instant solar eclipse!

The radio immediately shut off now without any feasible power source.

Lisa sighed with relief.

Maggie started crying loudly.

“Oooooh! I hope you’re happy Oscar!” Marge sighed.

Lisa shrugged and mumbled “I can live with this for a few minutes...” while brushing her teeth.


Homer couldn’t sleep that night because Marge had got Maggie’s radio playing Roofi again. Homer got up and went to Maggie’s room with a hammer to smash the radio.

Maggie gasped upset.

“Look Maggie! Funny daddy!” Homer smacked himself on the head with the hammer repeatedly until he lost consciousness. He fell into her crib. Maggie crawled up him to her radio and turned it up and danced to Roofi. Heh! Cute!

The next morning Marge was driving the kids to school. They were bored listening to Roofi sing. Suddenly they ran out of the car screaming to school. That was four, yes four kids Roofi! Count them! Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar. Running and screaming to school.

Eventually it was home time. Bart did not want to be picked up as he could here Roofi playing as Marge pulled up.

However despite everything he failed to get after school detention. Mrs Krabapple let him go home. He even tried to explain he gave the classroom gerbil coffee but Mrs Krabapple didn’t care and sent him home.

“D’oh! Why didn’t I take up an after school club...” Bart sighed.

Lisa was in music recitals being taught by Mr Largo. She was annoyed to get a text from Mom that she had pulled up. But replied. “Sorry, got instrument recital and Hugo’s got science club!”

In Science Club Hugo was laughing evilly while experimenting with chemicals.

“Hugo, please don’t laugh maniacally in class...” the teacher sighed.


One afternoon Maggie was watching Roofi again.

“Mom her eyes aren’t even focused...” said Lisa. Maggie had wall eyes.

Bart switched the TV off with the remote.

Maggie snarled at him.

“It makes her happy!” said Marge putting Roofi back on.

However Roofi was selling tickets to see his show and was clearly begging kids watching to order them or pester their parents to buy them.

“Mom! Roofi is clearly brainwashing children to buy tickets! Look Maggie’s even calling the hotline to buy them!” Lisa explained as Maggie was on the phone waiting for an answer.

“Unless they speak baby she can’t order anything!” said Marge.

“Baby could order poison.” said Homer.

Marge sighed.


One afternoon Homer was chasing a Maggie because she had the TV remote in her mouth. Roofi was on. She hid in a vent and teased Homer and hit him with the remote.

He acted like Larry from the Three Stooges. “Wise Guy Eh?”

Then she took his tongs and grabbed his nose twisting it. He made Curly sounds.

“I got the tickets! And I kept my dignity! Not like Janey’s mom...” said Marge. She saw Homer making Curly whoop whoop sounds and sighed.


Marge pulled up at the concert only to find it over sold tickets.

“This concert is over sold!” said Marge. “It’s as if a music promoter acted unscrupulously!”

Marge went in and found a place to sit. There were other moms with their babies. And because it was Saturday Baby Oscar was there with Teddy in his fully grown grizzly form. Teddy was changing his diaper.

Then the babies got up to Woodstock esque antics. A line of mothers were at a toilet nursing their crying babies. A mom fainted and her baby crawled off somewhere.

Some babies were sharing a pacifier and getting high... XD!

Then a split screen showed various hippieish animations except instead of drugged up hippies it was babies doing babyish things.

Some babies were dancing naked! And in the other panel a baby was acting like a garden sprinkler but spinning around projectile vomiting. Eeeeugh...

“Ah so with the acting like lawn sprayer projectile vomiting!” Nemo said with a giggle before rotating his head around like the girl in the Exorcist and vomiting.

Satan grimaced in disgust.


Roofi was backstage asking his assistant how the crowd was.

“Cranky. Some diaper rashes...” said the stage hand.

Roofi sighed. “Send on the Teletubbies...” said Roofi.

The Teletubbies went on stage. “Tubby custard!” they cheered.

However the babies weren’t happy and threw tantrums and baby bottles and dirty diapers...

“It’s not working! Call upon the baby Sun God!” said a stage man.

Some monks started praying in a dead language and a cult routine of prayer and animal sacrifice started. But instead of animals being sacrificed it was the Teletubbies burning a pile of tubby toast slices.

Suddenly there was a loud baby babbling and everyone gasped as the Baby face in the sun appeared! Aghhhhhh! The Sun Baby!

The Sun Baby gurgled and cooed.

“Aaaaaaaaw!” The mother’s cooed at how cute she is. Yes that’s a baby girl...

The Sun Baby however then turned evil and made the Earth grow hot very quickly! As she smirked evilly and turned red. The Earth got very, very hot...


At home Bart interrupted.

“Okay Oscar, you’re officially insane... Sun Baby.... honestly...” Bart sighed as the World got extremely hot all of a sudden. “Geez! Is it me or is it hot today?!” Bart sweated and tugged the collar on his t shirt.

At the concert everyone grew weak from the intense heat.

“The Sun Baby is displeased! Roofi you must play!” said a stage hand.

Roofi went on stage and played. This pacified the Sun Baby. She cooled down. And so did the Earth. However a rain storm started. Then someone beaned Roofi with a baby bottle.

“Okay who threw that!?” Roofi yelled. The babies were scared by his anger. He stormed off and got in a helicopter. However the babies rioted and some even tried to hold onto the helicopter so he showed a lollipop to them and they let go repelled by it, like a vampire with garlic.


Homer was at home with Bart, Lisa and Hugo. When the news was on.

“This is Kent Brockman at Cleatus’s farm. A troublesome band of toddlers have turned a Roofi concert into a riot... I now have the leader Tyler on the line... Tyler what are your demands?” Kent asked.

A picture of a baby covered in spaghetti appeared and we hear a baby gurgling and dialling the phone buttons.

Homer and the kids gasped and ran off.

We continue where the concert left off. Roofi was fed up and finished his show.

He flew off in his helicopter and repelled any babies hanging on with a lollipop.

Homer and the kids arrived but Wiggum wouldn’t let them in.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you! Some of those babies have their teeth!” said Wiggum.

“And their sharp finger nails.” said Lou.

Wiggum and his two best officers Eddie and Lou went in to see what they could do.

“Uh Chief, I don’t feel comfortable clubbing women and children...” said Lou.

“I know. What do we do?” Wiggum asked. The babies grabbed them and pulled them under a pile of gurgling infants.

“Oh boy... We’ll have to tummy kiss our way out...” said Wiggum.

A baby appeared front and center on camera and grinned a toothless grin and gurgled. Okay baby, this isn’t your show... the Baby gurgled and went off somewhere.

Plot 2[]

Kent Brockman was on again berating the bad behaviour at the concert. “Bad babies! Yes you are!” He talked like he was talking to a child.

“Why did they have to use that picture of Maggie and Gerald fighting at Tyler’s birthday party...” Marge sighed.

Cleatus didn’t seem to mind the damage. “Eh, most of them younguns were my younguns.” said Cleatus as hundreds of Spuckler babies ran out of the house and around the muddy lawn.

However Kent lied and said Cleatus was furious and demanded action.


The town had a meeting but to Marge’s annoyance barred children from the meeting. She had to call a Babysitter to look after the kids.

At the meeting Quimby and Lindsey Naegle were in league with one another. Quimby wanting to get re elected Mayor, Lindsey had her own ulterior motive. Her redecoration of the church is anything to go by...

Quimby explained the disastrous Roofi concert and riot cost the town millions. Machines suck money out of people until Oscar blows the machine up with a rocket launcher.

“Darn it! Now we need to cover the repair of that machine as well!” Quimby yelled as it rained money and everyone joyfully collected the money.

“To ensure that doesn’t happen again Ms Naegle has a suggestion.

“Thank you Quimby.” said Lindsey Naegle as she took the stage. “I have founded SSCCATAGAPP. Singles, Seniors, childless couples and teens and gays against parasitic parents!”

Everyone gasped.

“I’m tired of picking up the bill for other people’s kids! As I’m sure you are all too! We already pay millions in School taxes!” Lindsey ranted.

Everyone cheered.

Marge got up. “I’m Marge Simpson. And I’m a mother.”

Everyone booed her.

“But I’m also American!” said Marge.

Everyone cheered.

“I bake apple pie!” Marge said.

Everyone cheered.

“I love baseball!” said Marge.

Everyone cheered.

Lindsey realised she was losing the crowd. “Save your breath for blowing up water wings Breeder!” Lindsey said rudely. “I dream of an America with nudity and F words on cable TV! Where the whole world doesn’t stop just because a school bus did! Children are the future! Today belongs to me!”

Everyone cheered.

“Oh my! She’s insane!” Marge gasped as she never saw Ms Naegle come up with evil schemes like this before.

Homer stood up for his wife, “You can’t change the rules in the middle of the game! We wouldn’t have had these kids if we knew we would have to pay for them! Promises were made! Bedtimes enforced! Boo boos to be kissed!” said Homer.

“Tough tortellini! I am tired of printing kids menus! Let meatball Mikel find his own way out of the maze!” said Luigi the Italian stereotype chef who owns the Italian restaurant.

“I’m tired of paying overpriced tickets for lousy school plays!” said Sideshow Mel.

“Then how will you see Camelot?” Marge asked.

“We will watch the movie on tape!” said Sideshow Mel.

“Is it really that much better? In my eyes. Ralph is Sir Lancelot.” said Marge.

“If I would ever leave you, it wouldn’t be in summer!” Ralph sung beautifully.

Everyone booed him.

“People! Let’s kill every child friendly thing in town!” Lindsey demanded.

Every cheered and started an angry riot with pitchforks and torches.

Marge gasped. “Homer what are we gonna do?! She’s whipped the town up into a mad frenzy!”

“I don’t know sweetie! I haven’t been this scared since Maggie shot Mr Burns!” said Homer.


Squeaky voiced teens smashed up a ball pit in Krusty burger. Sea captain and other townsfolk burnt up Speak and Spell computers. The computers cried out “Why?” repeatedly as they melted. A statue of Itchy and Scratchy was pulled down like the Stalin statue. Moe put the cute backwards R on the Toys R Us logo the proper way round. This made kids cry. Including Milhouse! XD

Bart rolled his eyes at Milhouse’s childishness.

At home the Simpsons watched the news.

“People in town are gripped by a thirst for destroying all child friendly things! And I couldn’t be more happy to join in at the mall!” said Kent Brockman.

Marge grumbled angrily.

There was a montage of more kids stuff being ruined.

Wiggum increased the height meter for a rollercoaster so no kids could get on. The librarian scribbled our the young adult section and put a red light and a gate on it and played sleazy music. Some perverts in trench coats went in going “Oh yeah... so dirty!” etc as they went inside.

When Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Oscar were waiting for the school bus, it just drove past and stopped for a line of seniors as Otto changed the sign to say Atlantic City.

“Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!” the seniors cheered.

Marge growled fiercely as the bus left without the kids.

At an airport Wiggum and Eddie and Lou put toys in a shredder. They came out as suitcases.


At a car park one night Lindsey Naegle was ambushed by Marge.

“Ms Naegle. Sorry for jumping out at you like this but I figured this was the best place we could talk alone and I could get my point across.” said Marge.

“Very well. But I’m sure you have kids to put to bed and I have a skydiving massage.” said Lindsey Naegle. Uh how does that work?

“I’ll cut to the chase. I have bought with me the one girl who has inspired me as a parent. My daughter Lisa. I wouldn’t change her for the whole world!” said Marge. Lisa was dressed in her church clothes. XD.

“Ms Naegle. Even though I don’t agree with your principles. I’m proud of your achievements.” said Lisa.

“Why thanks little girl! I’d be proud if one of the eggs I donated turned out like you!” said Lindsey Naegle.

“If you don’t like children why did you donate your eggs then?” Oscar asked.

“Well, Uh...” Lindsey Naegle stuttered.

“Mooooom! I locked the keys in the car...” Bart interrupted. He was holding Maggie.

“Then stand in the shadows!” said Marge.

“Also Maggie barfed in your purse again...” Said Bart holding a handbag full of vomit... Eeeew!

“Eeeeeeeeeeuuugh!” Oscar groaned.

“Oh dear. All my purse is full of is disposable income...” said Lindsey showing off loads of money in her purse.

“Mine’s full of disposable diapers...” Marge sighed.

Lindsey laughed at her. “Now I won’t ever see your point of view you poor fool!”

Marge got angry. “Then I guess this means war! With the most powerful weapon at my disposal! A voter backed initiative!” said Marge.

Lindsey gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“I’ve already drawn up the signature petition!” said Marge.

Lindsey blustered. “I’m not afraid! You won’t get the needed signatures until the November elections...” said Lindsey. She left for her skydiving massage...

“No... the March primary...” said Marge. Dramatic music played.

“Mom can we get pretzels?” Bart asked.

“We have pretzels at home...” said Marge.

“Not cinnamon.” said Bart. That dramatic music played again.

“Oscar stop playing that!” Marge told him off for playing annoying jingles.


Lindsey was having dinner with Sideshow Mel at an Italian restaurant. Luigi’s actually.

“We have won! Not a high chair or complementary crayon in sight!” said Sideshow Mel.

“And I can tell an anecdote about love making without having to look around! This is truly paradise!” said Lindsey Naegle.

Meanwhile at the other end of the restaurant was a tiny fenced off area labelled family area. Kids were throwing food everywhere.

“Attention people! Now for the naming of our initiative! PPASSCCATAG. Proud parents against singles, seniors, childless couples and teens and gays.” said Marge as kids threw food about.

“It’s also a horrible brain stem disease! That’s how I remember! A hehehehe!” said Dr Hibbert.

“Now every voter initiative needs money.” said Marge.

Everyone vanished.

“Sorry Marge. Here’s the bill.” said Luigi.

Marge left in a flash.

“Mamma Mia!” said Luigi.

“Luigi Al Fresco?” asked a government agent.

“Yes?” Luigi asked.

“I’m from the immigration department.” said the government agent.

Luigi vanished.


Outside a shop Marge was trying to get signatures for her petition.

“Sorry but the only petition I’m signing is to get sitcoms I like back on air. America needs Herman’s Head more than ever...” said Comicbook Guy.

Marge sighed.

A businessman appeared.

“I am from the tobacco industry. And no voters initiative gets off the ground without an endorsement from the tobacco industry.” said the business man in a white suit.

Marge took his check.

The business man turned into the devil! Aggggggghhh! “Now we own you!!”

“But I haven’t endorsed the check!” said Marge.

“Oh. Excuse me. Use my pen ma’am.” said the business man returning to normal. However his pen had captured souls in it! Aaaaaaagh!

“Forget it bub!” said Marge returning his check.

The demonic business man roared and breathed fire as he returned to hell.

“Now that was just weird...” said Marge.

“You’re telling me.” said Mr Burns.

“Mr Burns?! You like children?” Marge asked.

“Only for their precious organs. God bless unfenced backyard pools...” said Mr Burns signing her petition.

Marge felt uncomfortable getting his signature.

Plot 3[]

Now for more surreal randomness!

At home the Simpsons were watching the news again...

“Marge Simpson’s Families come first initiative has gained ground leading to her opponents to make this commercial.

There was a commercial with a mother unpacking her shopping. “I am a mother, and I am against Families Come First! Families Come First will hurt my family and as a mother I care too much!’ She hugged her kids. Daaaaaw!

Then a Marge imposter appeared. They were clearly a fat lady wearing a wig.

“I’m Marge Simpson and evening I’m against Families Come First! Now I’m going to snort coke off the back of this knife!” said the imposter.

Marge switched of the TV. “Grrrrr! That ad makes me look like a criminal!” Marge yelled.

“Then why did you star in it?” Homer asked.

“That wasn’t me! That was an imposter!” said Marge.

“Or maybe she’s the real you and you’re an imposter!” said Homer being silly. “How many kids do we have?”

“Three!” said Marge.

“Wrong lady!” said Homer stepping aside to reveal Hugo.

“Homer Hugo’s not canon.” said Marge.

“Yes he is!” yelled Oscar.


In bed.

“Oscar’s obsession with Hugo is really getting to me...” said Marge.

“Don’t worry, he’ll get bored with his new friend and find a new one!” said Homer.

“And those SSCCATAGAPP mock everything I stand for!” said Marge.

“Don’t worry honey. I have a plan. It involves subliminal messages and Rudy Guliani.” said Homer taking out a picture of Rudy Guliani. “I am Rudy Guliani! You will obey me! I am Rudy Guliani! You will obey me!”

“Homer no! No subliminal messages!” Marge told him off.

“Okay...” Homer sighed.

“Goodnight Homer.” said Marge.

“Goodnight dear.” said Homer. The lights were turned out. In the darkness were eating sounds.

“Homer are you eating in bed again?” Marge asked him.

Homer swallowed something. “No...” he lied.


Bart bribed Otto to take all the potential 242 voters. (Marge’s initiative to overturn the anti family laws) On a voters pledge trip to a casino.

Bart was listing everyone who got on. “Bumblebee man! Buenos Dias! Lenny and Carl! Mr Moleman! Looking good! (They fistbump) Hi Ruth!”

“Hey Bart. Laura’s babysitting this Saturday!” said Ruth.

“Aw Shucks!” Bart blushed.

They all got on the bus. However the cute old lady Homer mistook for Marge’s Mother wanted to come on.

“Can I come to?” she asked.

“No.” said Bart rudely and shutting the bus doors on her.

“Ooooh...” she said sadly.


SSCCATAGAPP trucks drove down Evergreen terrace. A man got out with a megaphone. “All plushies, dolls and toys are contraband! Hand them over to be incinerated!” said the man.

“Never!” said Lisa out the bedroom window.

“That’s it. Storm the houses!” said the SSCCATAGAPP goon. SSCCATAGAPP goons stormed the houses on Evergreen Terrace and confiscated toys.

We see the kids crying as their toys are taken.

However the SSCCATAGAPP goons faced resistance at the Simpsons. Oscar was carrying his toys and dressed Mad Max style with face camouflage and equipped with a heavy machine gun modified to fire hockey pucks. He shot the goons with it. They fled or got badly injured by the hockey pucks.

In an office.

“Blast those infernal Simpsons!” Lindsey Naegal ranted. “I had no idea being a supervillain would be this hard!”

“Uh why are we doing this SSCCATAGAPP thing again ma’am?” asked a Squeaky Voiced Teen.

“That’s not for you know! Nobody must know my secret. Of why I can’t have children...” said Lindsey Naegel. Dun dun dun!

At Home Homer showed Marge a voting pledge he made. “Parents and kids have got a real bad rap lately. But who really hates kids? I call these people out of state!!” Homer said Out of state in a harsh manner as big metal letters appeared saying Out of State.

”The truth is all local citizens of Springfield are proud parents. People like Milhouse’s Dad! Bumble man! Surly Duff! And that jerk that goes Yeeeeeeeeees?” Poor Yeeeeeeees Guy... “So to support us, post on our forum on Al Jazeera dot com. No we’re not affiliated. We’re just piggy backing on their servers. And remember...”

Vote yes on 232 clashed up as a subliminal message while Homer holding a picture of Rudy Giuliani kept chanting “I am Rudy Giuliani! You will obey me! I am Rudy Giuliani! You will obey meeeeee!”

”No! We want no on 232! Yes on 242! And I said no subliminal messages or Rudy Giuliani! And your bumper stickers are misspelt Yes No 242! And the vote is tomorrow! I need a lie down!” Marge cried.

”Wait honey! I am Rudy Giuliani! You must forgive Homer! I am Rudy Giuliani! You must forgive Homer! I am Rudy Giuliani...”

”Dad! Enough of Rudy Giuliani already!” Lisa whined.