Simpsons Fanon

Marge Gamer At a PTA meeting Marge reveals she never used Email before so can’t receive news letters from the school. After some poking from other PTA members she decides to get online. Then she joins a Massively multiplayer online RPG called Earthland realms only to find Bart is a long term member and is now the strongest and nastiest player online butchering everyone as the dreaded Shadow Knight.

Meanwhile Lisa takes up soccer, Oscar’s Aspergers is triggered by the pentagon spotted ball and Homer becomes her referee. However Lisa turns out to be a dirty player who is a flopper... (A player who dives and pretends another player fouled them.)

Plot[]

It is a PTA meeting at Springfield Elementary one evening.

“Due to budget cuts we have unfortunately had to sell the science lab skeleton and replace it with a Halloween costume. That Willie is currently wearing.” said Skinner.

Willie was wearing a skeleton costume.

“Yes. Now return it to its plastic smock please, Willie...” said Super Nintendo Chalmers. Willie went off stage.

“And in other news the school trip to Italy is now a night at Papa Johns. Your 250 dollar deposit will not be refunded...” said Skinner.

Everyone groaned.

“Oooooh! Papa Johns.” said Homer.

“Awwwww! I wanted to go and see Sideshow Bob...” Oscar whined.

“Oscar this is a Parent Teacher meeting! And the school trip to Italy was an educational trip about Italian art and history! Not to bother Sideshow Bob! whoever that is...”

Oscar sulked.

“Now if you could just write your emails on these contact forms Mr Largo is giving out...” said Skinner.

Marge was embarrassed. She doesn’t have an email address because she never thought to make one.

“What’s wrong honey?” Homer asked.

“I can’t sign that form! I don’t have email!” said Marge.

Everyone gasped and stared at her.

“Oh you don’t know what you’re missing! The internet has the best conspiracy theories! Did you know Hezbollah owns ninety percent of litter Dollie Snack cakes! Imagine the scandals!” said Homer.

“Okay I’ll join Wahoo! Or Yippee! Or AOK! Or Poker Loker what ever they’re called!” said Marge annoyed.

“Can we move this meeting on? I pay my child welfare taxes I want my orange juice!” said Sideshow Mel.

“Sideshow Mel why are you even here? None of your children even attend this school! In fact why is Mr Flanders here?!” Skinner ranted.

“Because he’s great company!” said Marge. Ned is touched.

“And Matt wanted to insist that Rod and Todd were always students here but that doesn’t make sense in accordance with Ned and Edna Blend where they attended Christian school so I fixed his stupid broken canon.” said Oscar.

“Can residents of Springfield who don’t have kids that attend my school not turn up to the PTA meetings in future thank you...” said Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Ned and Sideshow Mel left annoyed.

...

One afternoon in the kitchen Lisa was helping Marge with her computer on how to use the internet.

“And this website tells you the weather!” said Lisa.

“Sunny! I never have to look out the window ever again!” said Marge as the camera turns to reveal sun light pouring in through the window on a lovely sunny day.

“I wonder how the weather is in the other timelines caused by the time travelling toaster. said Marge.

In the universe where it’s Homer’s dream come true. Ie Dead Patty and Selma, nice house, well behaved kids, donut rain.

Marge in a posh outfit sat at her computer with Lisa who was showing Marge the website that shows you the weather.

“Oh it’s raining...” Marge sighed disappointed.

The camera pans round to show out the kitchen window it’s raining donuts! Homer from the main universe is running about outside laughing and screaming with pure delight as he catches the donuts and eats them.

...

Upbeat music played as Marge was surfing the web. She was buying paper towels. Kitchen roll.

“Eighty... seventy five... sixty six cents!” Marge gasped. “Kids get your coats on! We’re going to Pennsylvania!” Marge said aloud.

“Coooool! Mwuhahahaha!” said Oscar laughing evilly and wearing vampire teeth.

“Oscar no you’re not wearing vampire fangs...” Marge sighed.

“Oscar gimme those...” Ace sighed demanding Oscar hand over his plastic vampire fangs.

Sometime later as we unfortunately don’t get a noodle incident of what they did in Pennsylvania shopping for paper towels... instead Marge is now googling herself...

“629,000 results! Wow! And here I thought googling yourself met that other thing...” said Marge.

Then she found a site called “See your house from space!”

Marge went on the app. It showed a Birdseye view of the house.

“Wow our house! But what is that thing on the hammock...” Marge gasps. “Homer put some clothes on! Everyone can see you!” Homer was sunbathing naked.

“Never!” said Homer.

Marge went outside.

“Just put on some shorts!” Marge chased him.

“Why don’t I just put on a dress!” said Homer. He jumped over the fence into Ned’s garden.

“Homer you’ve met my parents.” said Ned.

“Not naked I haven’t!” said Homer.

...

The Simpsons were having dinner while Marge discussed the internet.

“That internet is so clever! I just found out I share my birthday with Randy Quaid!”

“I bet His wife never gave him a bowling ball for his birthday...” said Bart.

“Quiet boy!” Homer snapped.

“I mapquested a brilliant new route to the armoury!” said Marge.

“Cooooool!” said Oscar.

Bart glared at him and shook his head.

“And Bart I’ve printed off a list of houses I’m not letting you go trick or treating anymore.

Bart took the list and read it.

“Wow Mom! You’re like Christopher Columbus! You found out something millions of people already knew about before you.” said Lisa. Ouch put an ice on that burn Marge!

Marge sighed annoyed.

“I can’t trick or treat at that annoying Yeeeeeess? guy’s house anymore?! Why not?” Bart asked.

Marge whispered to him. Bart shivered in disgust.

...

Late one evening Marge was looking at her emails.

“I sent every a happy St Patrick’s day card and I didn’t get one back! Just Oscar’s stupid blog about how he’s planning to make a Marvel themed St Paddy’s day celebration this year with Hulk and the Thing...

Oscar had emailed everyone a leaflet with a picture of him with the Incredible Hulk and The Thing.

“Maybe if I click refresh! Nope. How about now? Nope. Or now?” said Marge clicking. “Mmmmm... the only thing that changes is the banner ad.”

There was: Stalk an old School friend. Vote for a president with a boat. Single and racist? (A dating website for racists with a picture of a Ku Klux Klan member. Oh dear! XD) And Earthland Realms.

“Oh! Earthland Realms!” said Marge clicking on the website to open it. It was a MMORPG.

A wizard welcomed her to the game and the terms and conditions appeared. Marge actually took the time to read them...

“Maybe sold to Korean gangsters...”

“Just click accept...” said the wizard. Marge clicked accept.

“Now you may design your own character!” said the wizard.

“Ooooh! Let’s see which of these goofy goos I most resemble...” said Marge. She stopped on an elf sorceress. A slutty elf sorceress... “oh! Who designed her? Probably a man...” Marge sighed.

She customised the character. “Shoes sensible. Body, Olive Oyl. Face, other.” The result was Marge as an elf sorceress. “There. Now let’s roll! Play...”

Elf Marge arrived in a fantasy realm. “Wow! It’s like a renaissance fair! Except without the chubby couples...” said Elf Marge. She walked into a wall.

Upstairs Bart laughed as he played on his laptop. “What a noob! A new character is trying to walk through the wall!” Bart giggled and used the game audio chat to taunt his mom’s character.

“Walk through the wall! I will remove it for you!” A mike message played from a player with a headset. Bart obviously.

“Hmmmmm! Very funny...” Marge sighed. “I need a tutorial...”

“You’re telling me...” said Grampa trying to walk through the kitchen wall...

Marge rolled her eyes and clicked to call up the title screen wizard for advice.

“How about you complete a quest for me? Young cleric.” said the wizard.

“Hmmmmm... maybe I should run this by my husband first.” said Elf Marge.

“It’s more fun if you just say yes Marge.

“Yes thine arch mage!” said Marge trying to speak medieval.

“Again, just say yes...” said the wizard.

“Yes.” said Elf Marge.

“Find me the Argolax of Thoth!” said the wizard.

“All I see is that rock over there.” said Elf Marge.

“Congratulations! You’ve found it!” said the wizard. Marge had completed the quest.

Sometime later.

“Now to activate my level seven power stones.” Marge activated an item in her inventory. “Equip my orb of oblivion. And huzzah!” Elf Marge zapped a cauldron with her orb of oblivion staff. She tasted the boiling mixture inside it. “Hmmmmm! Needs more Goat Soul...”

Back in reality Bart and Lisa were up standing by the kitchen door in their pyjamas.

“Mom...?” Bart asked.

“Why are you kids up so late?” Marge asked.

“Mom it’s seven in the morning.” said Bart.

Marge gasped. “I played a whole night?!” “Quick get ready for school!”

“Mom it’s Saturday...” said Bart.

“I played a day and a night?!” Marge gasped heading off ashamed.

“Bart it’s not Saturday...” said Lisa.

“Shhh!” Bart grinned and picked up a bag of golf clubs. XD! Bart what are you planning... (Laughs and chuckles.)

...

Ned and Sideshow Mel are annoyed drinking tea in a cafe.

“I can’t believe they kicked us out of the PTA just because our kids don’t attend!” said Ned.

“It is an outrage!” said Sideshow Mel.

“I have my reasons about not wanting Rod and Todd attending that Atheist Shmatheist school! Separation of church and state my foot!” Ned ranted.

“Uh... That’s not what I’m getting at. If I have to be a parent of a student to attend then so be it!” Sideshow Mel called up his wife, Krusty’s sister Barbara. “Barbara! We’re taking Melvin out of Morningwood academy!”

Hehehehe! Morning Wood...

...

At the Simpsons house.

“Coooool! Your mom does online gaming? She’s so awesome!” Oscar cooed. “My mom hated online games. She once caught me on one, we had a big argument and I got a spanking... well actually a beating...”

“Hmmmmmm... Oscar. As Bart as probably told you a million times that I’m not a cool mom... I like to think I’m easy going. And it wouldn’t be fair not letting you do something I’m doing right now and setting a bad example of by being addicted.” said Marge. “You can play online if you want. Bart is...”

“Cooooool! You are so awesome Mrs S!” Oscar cheered.

“I’ll get your account set up.” said Bart sighing at Oscar praising his mom for being cool when most of the time she wasn’t.

“Uh Mom, maybe you’re setting a really bad example...” said Lisa.

Plot 2[]

Bart was getting Oscar set up. “Just say agree to the terms and conditions Oz. No one reads those...” said Bart. Oscar clicked agree. “Now pick your character’s race. I suggest something cool like an orc barbarian!”

“Aaaaaw! The Satyr is really, really cute!” Oscar decided to be a satyr bard.

Bart rolled his eyes because of Oscar wanting a cute character.

“Now you start in the first town. Sometimes I go there because you can PVP, fight other players. I’m a player killer and proud!” Bart smirked.

Oscar the satyr woke up in the starting town.

“Wow! Everything is old timey!” said Oscar. He checked out his character’s body. “Ay carumba I have goat legs and Agh! I’m naked from the waist down!” Oscar found he had a beard. “And I have a beard now despite being a prepubescent...”

Oscar the satyr walked into a wall.

Bart laughed. “Oz you can’t go through walls...”

...

Marge came home from the shops exhausted on9e afternoon. She saw the laptop. “Hmmmm... I shouldn’t as I have groceries to put away... But I really want to see how my elf self is doing. Oh what the heck.” Marge went online.

Elf Marge went shopping in the bazaar. She met Apu who was selling power stones.

“Apu? You play Earthland Realms?” Elf Marge asked.

“Why yes Mrs Simpson! And that cobra king over there is actually Snake!” said Apu.

“The prison guards think I’m getting my law degree!” Snake laughed.

“And that enchantress is Mrs Krabappel.” said Apu pointing to Mrs Krabappel.

“This is a great way to meet single men with access to a computer.” said Krabappel.

“Or have access to one in the school library.” said Skinner as a dragon winged turkey.

“Ugh. It seems in every reality you’re a turkey. Even this one...” said Edna.

“The point is we’re talking...” said Skinner the dragon chicken turkey thing.

“Seymour! I’m online too! I maybe old but I still know how to use a computer!” said Agnes as an old witch.

“Mother...” Skinner sighed.

“Hi midge. It’s me Moe. I’m playing this while on the can.” said a moe troll.

“Moe! You’re a troll!” said Marge.

“No! My character is supposed to look like me! Why does everyone say that?” Moe stormed off and went under a bridge and had a tantrum.

Wiggum as a pig man was polishing an apple he bought when everyone gasped because a sinister force arrived.

Everyone started running into the nearest building and locking themselves away. Including Bullwinkle Mel. XD.

A black knight on an evil black horse arrived with an evil theme tune!

Marge elf gasped.

Apu pulled her into an alley.

“Who are we hiding from?” Marge asked.

“The shadow knight! The most evil player in the game!” said Apu.

“The Shadow knight? Yeah he’s so vicious he beat me to death with my own life bar!” said Moe the troll.

The Shadow knight saw Skinner the turkey.

“Who dares challenge the shadow knight?!” said the shadow knight. He took out his flame sword and zapped turkey skinner killing him. The shadow knight laughed and went off somewhere else in the game.

Once it was safe Apu examined the now cooked turkey Skinner.

“He was a good man. A good moist man!” said Apu eating Skinner. XD!

“Eeeeeew! I don’t want to see that...” said Marge deciding to do her laundry.

However as she passed Bart’s bedroom she heard him laughing evilly. “Another senseless killing by the Shadow Knight! Mwuhahahaha!” said Bart into his microphone.

“Oh my!” Marge said to herself discreetly. “My son is an evil murdering knight in a video game! The best evil murdering knight in a video game! Good for him!”

Meanwhile in the Shadow Knight’s lair.

“I killed twenty players today and none of them had any good gear! Ay carumba!” said the Shadow Knight with a medieval accent. He took his helmet off to reveal he was Bart. A really ripped muscular version of Bart who towered over Milhouse.

“Hey Mrs Milhouse.” Bart snickered at Milhouse who must have accidentally made his character a girl or something...

“I keep telling you I’m a boy! This is just a spell! Which you promised to undo!” said girl Milhouse.

“Yeah later...” said Bart the Shadow Knight.

“Anyway you have a visitor.” said Milhouse.

The visitor was... Bart’s Mom! Dun dun dun!

“Hi sweetie! I’m in your video game!” said Marge the elf.

“Ay carumba!” said Bart the Shadow Knight.

“And Milhouse! You’re so pretty!” said Marge.

“I keep telling you it’s a spell! And eh thanks!” said Milhouse as a girl.

...

Back in the real world Bart was not happy...

“Mom the whole point in playing Earthland Realms is to get away from your family...” Bart ranted. “How would you like it if I suddenly wanted to go shopping with you?”

“I’d love that very much!” said Marge pleased.

Bart growled in frustration and stormed off.

In a tavern in one of the towns of Earthland Realms.

The Shadow knight was drinking.

“Eh what can I get you? Grog? Grog light?” Moe asked the Shadow knight.

“Fill a glass with this pixie head’s blood!” The Shadow Knight demanded.

“Okay...” Moe took the Dr Nick pixie head.

“Hi everybody!” said Dr Nick’s head.

“Hi Dr Nick!” said everyone.

“How do you play this game? Yaaaaaaaghhhh!” Moe squeezed out his blood and other matter into a glass.

“Now flog yourself with this mace!” said the Shadow Knight.

“Okay but I have to answer an anonymous private message first. Oh it’s someone looking for a particular player in here. Surname Freely initials I P. Hey everybody I P Freely. Hey listen up! I P Freely!”

Everyone including the Shadow Knight laughed.

Oscar at his laptop laughed.

“Why! Right that’s it mr anonymous! If I ever get a hold of you I’m gonna rip off your head and stuff starving dogs up your butt!” Moe sent the anonymous player a violent reply threatening them.

Suddenly Marge came in.

“Bart! Are you drinking?!” Marge scolded the Shadow knight.

“Mooooom!!” Bart the Shadow Knight whined. “They’re just programmed characters and pixels! I’m not really me, a ten year old kid in this universe! I’m a really buff Titan of a man from StoneVeil!”

Everyone laughed.

“Now look what you’ve done! You’re embarrassing me in front of my minions!” said Bart.

“If they laugh at you then they’re not very good minions...” said Marge.

“I’m going off to the Crevasse of Colgragnor...” said Bart the Shadow Knight.

“Great! I’ll come too!” said Marge the elf cleric.

“Moooooom! That is a level 80 area! Your character will get killed!” sId Bart explaining that area of the game was for high level players only.

“Oh...” Marge realised. “You should really wear a scarf. How about I enchant you’re pants for you?” Marge asked.

Bart groaned annoyed and left.

Everyone laughed.

...

Lisa was in her room wearing a football kit. Yes that’s football not soccer ya yank!

“Hey Lisa! What’s a matter? Self conscious of your shins? In my day girls were more worried about their boobs!” said Homer.

“Daaaad. I’m going to play soccer!” said Lisa.

“It’s football!” Oscar yelled from another room.

“In America we call it soccer Oscar...” said Lisa. She then kicked a soccer ball with black pentagons on it about. “I fell in love with the game when I went to see Bend it like Beckham!”

Indian music plays as in a memory sequence Lisa is at a cinema with her friends.

“Father I am proud of my Indian culture but I want to play soccer!” said an Indian lady.

Lisa and her friends cheered.

“As your father I forbid you! You will marry this man who is the son of a business partner of mine!” said the dad.

“Woohoo! Yes business partnerships are more important than love!” said Apu. Lisa and her friends threw garbage at him.

The dream ended.

“That’s soccer! I always called it human Fussball!” said Homer. “Can I take you to your game?”

“You already agreed to.” said Lisa.

“Oooooooh....” Homer groaned. “Can I bring Oscar?”

“No! He’ll get bored and we’re using soccer balls with pentagons on them! He’ll start screaming at them!” said Lisa.

...

Lisa was at her girls football game. They were kicking a ball around while Krusty was the coach.

“Sorry ladies but games cancelled. We have no referee. (Laughs) I know this must be very disappointing... (laughs)” said Krusty.

“What happened?” Lisa asked.

“He quit! Being a referee is a thankless job! Parents hate ya, kids only want to share their snacks with ya...” said Krusty.

“Did somebody say snacks?” said Homer.

He turned up in a referee outfit.

Everyone cheered.

“Dad! Where did you get that outfit?” Lisa asked.

“I got fired from Footlocker.” said Homer.

The game started and Homer goofed off because he didn’t know the rules. He beat up the linesman who was a girl’s father. Tried to play even though he was the referee. Threw up in a cone... “I need another barf cone.

And to make things worse he bought Oscar with him. Lisa and her friends were playing football/soccer when Oscar screamed “Haaaaaaaaauuuuuwww! Spotty!” And ran on the pitch and took the ball and hugged it while squealing “Haaaaaauuuuwww!”

“Oscar!! Let go of the ball!” Lisa yelled.

After the game.

“Well that was great.” said Homer.

“Dad you don’t even know the rules! You just mucked about! And I specifically said don’t bring Oscar!” Lisa ranted. “This could be my thing for this episode! And you’re ruining it!” Lisa packed her things and went to the car.

“Hey I swallowed my best whistle today!” said Homer.

“Boy. And I thought I was the only one unlucky enough to do that...” said a woman football coach from Lisa on Ice. They both exhaled creating a loud whistle from the whistles they swallowed.

Plot 3[]

In Earthland Realms Marge the Elf cleric was wandering a forest with Oscar the satyr.

However they got to an ominous area far from the nearest town.

“Oh... should I take the road of death or the path of doom! Maybe I should just turn back...” Said Marge.

“If you do that I won’t have a healer. My character’s class doesn’t heal...” said Oscar.

Marge tripped and rolled down a hill and knocked herself out.

There were three trolls played by Jimbo, Dolph and Kerne. “Wow free food!” said the trolls.

However the shadow knight appeared.

“Aaaaagh! The shadow knight!” yelled Jimbo.

“Run away!” said Kerne.

“How do we do that?” Jimbo asked.

“Control alt- Aghhhhh!” said Dolph but the Shadow knight chopped them up into pieces.

“Thanks Bart!” said Marge.

“Moooom what are you doing in a high level area? There are trolls everywhere... both the fantasy kind and players being obnoxious to others kind.” said Bart the Shadow Knight. “And players who have chosen Troll as their character race. Let’s get you back to town...”

“Awwww! Why didn’t you go Gandalf and yell “you shall not pass!” And break a boulder in half to shine sun light on them and turn them into stone!” Oscar whined.

“Oz stop making movie references!” Bart sighed.

As they left the troll pieces talked.

“Let’s go to the kwik e mart...” said Jimbo.

“I’m in the tub...” said Dolph.

“I’m in Denmark!” said Kerne.

...

At the next game Homer improved vastly as referee.

“(Blows whistle) hand ball!” Homer gives the ball to another girl because Janey hand balled.

“Wow Dad! You’re really taking this seriously!” said Lisa.

“Yeah I watched so much soccer. I almost saw a goal but there was loads of Spanish cell phone commercials so I fell asleep.” said Homer.

Jessica Lovejoy was dribbling the ball towards the goal and dodging players. When Lisa tried to tackle her she dodged expertly and Lisa fell flat on her face.

“Foul! Lisa gets the ball!” said Homer.

“This is an outrage! Our daughter did not foul! Your clumsy daughter just tripped from the weight of her big head! Isn’t that right Lisa!?” Helen Lovejoy ranted.

“Foul! Lisa gets the ball.

“You are so blind even Jesus couldn’t heal you!” Helen Lovejoy ranted.

“Please Helen let’s not use the J word...” said Tim Lovejoy.

However Lisa knew she hadn’t been fouled and smirked evilly. She took to yelling foul when ever she got tackled.

She dived and tried to get as Spuckler girl sent off.


“Foul on Crystal Meth Spuckler!” said Homer.

“Your daughters a flopper!” Branding yelled.

“No your daughters a dirty player...” said Homer.

“Now just you wait a minute! I may have raised a human wheelbarrow... Siamese twins... a tripod... a fish with a human face we call kid but I never raised a dirty player!” said Cleatus.

“I don’t have to take advice from no hillbilly!” said Homer.

“That’s hill William...” said Cleatus.

“But will you take advice from me... Ronaldo.” said the football player Ronaldo.

“Oh my god Ronaldo!” Homer gasped. “What brings you here?”

“I travel the world exposing floppers. And your daughter is a flopper.” said Ronaldo.

“Yeah so what’s it gonna be ref?” Branding asked.

Homer looked at Lisa and sighed. “Yellow card!” He booked her.

“You can’t give me a yellow card! You’re my father!” Lisa yelled.

“When I’m in this uniform I’m nobody’s father! And judging by how tight these shorts are I never will be a father again.” said Homer.

“This is what I think of your stupid yellow card!” Lisa yells ripping up Homer’s yellow card.

“Unsportsmanlike behaviour! That’s a red card! You’re out of the game!” Homer sent her off.

Lisa stormed off.

...

At Bart’s shadow knight lair.

“Aren’t you glad I made you take that nap in the middle of that quest?” Marge asked.

“Yeah yeah... time to put these pixie heads in my treasure vault...” said Bart.

However to his horror Marge redecorated. “Where’s my cool stuff?”

“Oh I thought the bloody axes and swords were gory so I bought the hello kitty expansion pack!” said Marge. Eeeeew! Hello Kitty!

“Nooooooooo!” Bart screamed and smashed everything up with a flail but hit Marge and killed her!

“Mom?” Bart gasped.

“I got killed by my own son in a video game!” Marge gasped.

Later Marge and Bart were not happy with one another.

“I can’t believe you killed me in a video game! Your own mother!” said Marge.

“It was an accident!” said Bart. “You shouldn’t have messed with all my stuff then I wouldn’t have got angry!” said Bart.

Their argument was interrupted by Homer and Lisa arguing.

“Sweetie I was just following the rules!” said Homer.

“The one time you do the right thing! And it ruins my life!” Lisa stormed off upstairs.

“Uh... I’m going to bed...” said Marge.

“It’s five thirty...” said Bart.

“So what?! I’m dead!” said Marge storming off.

Bart and Homer gave each other confused looks.

“I’ll never understand women...” said Homer.

“Yeah...” said Bart. “Wanna grab a couple of beers?”

“Wanna watch me drink them?” Homer asked.

“Sure!” said Bart.

...

Homer and Bart were at Moe’s. Bart had a Buzz Cola.

“What’s a matter with you two?” Moe asked.

“Lisa’s mad at me and Marge is mad at him.” said Homer.

“Looks like you need to appeal to Lisa’s sence of common decency and Bart needs to appeal to Marge’s sense of caring.” said Moe.

“Wow Moe! That’s very thoughtful and profound! What have you done with the real Moe?” Homer asked. They laughed heartedly.

However in a back room Moe was tied up and gagged trying to yell. Dun dun dun!

...

Lisa was in her room mad.

“Lisa, I have a surprise for you! It’s a dvd!” said Homer.

“Not interested...” said Lisa annoyed.

“It’s a documentary. On the BBC! By Kanal Bloose!” said Homer.

“Gimme gimme gimme!” Lisa wanted it. Homer laughed and gave her the DVD. She put it on to watch it.

“Brighton, England. 1985.

Manchester United are playing Sussex FC when a deadly riot broke out in the stands.”

Lisa gasped in horror.

“On your son’s a flopper he is!” said a man.

“No he ain’t!” said another.

“Your mother can kiss me bum!” said the first.

They started fighting violently.

Lisa was horrified.

“The riot still continues to this day...” There are elderly football fans now fighting each other...

“In Brazil a riot got so bad that it is said the statue of the Virgin Mary came to life, and beat the holy snot out of everyone.”

The Virgin Mary came to life and kicked everyone’s ass! Coooooool!”

Lisa realises her dad was right. He was just following the rules. She was a dirty player.

...

In the Shadow Knight’s lair.

“Mom I am going to bring life to you the way I think you gave me life. By pressing Alt F5 repeatedly.” said Bart the Shadow Knight. He uses his life energy to bring Marge back to life.

However it makes him very weak and he faints.

“Bart! You bought me back to life! (She’s a satyr...) the best you could...” said Marge.

“Haw haw!” A Nelson head with wings laughs before bumping into a wall and catching fire from a nearby sconce.

...

Homer is painting his referee shirts white.

Lisa has something to say.

“So Lisa are you ready to forgive daddy?” Homer asked.

“No.” said Lisa.

“AaaaaawwwwwM but I had to subscribe to PBS to get that DVD! Now their sappy kids shows and baby programme mascots are after me again!” Homer whined.


“Give us the money!” said Oscar the Grouch.

“Elmo knows where you live!” yelled Elmo. Eek!

“I can’t forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive.” said Lisa.

“Eh?” Homer asked.

“You were right to kick me out of that game! Soccer was making me insane! Like South American countries!” said Lisa.

“Yeah they are pretty horrible places to live...” said Homer.

“So now I’m only gonna play soccer for the same reason I study chemistry. For fun!” said Lisa. “Wanna play Dad?”

“Sure!” said Homer. They juggled the football.

...

“Wait until I tell all the other moms you gave two thirds of your life points for me!” said Marge nursing the Shadow knight back to health with soup.

Suddenly angry townsfolk broke into his castle.

“The Shadow Knight is weak! Kill him and steal his XP!” said Comic book guy.

“Wait! If you kill me, I’ll egg all of your houses in real life!” said the Shadow Knight.

“Yes! And I’ll let him!” said Marge the elf cleric.

“It’s worth it!” said Edna. She stabbed the Shadow Knight in the eye.

Mr Largo kicked his groin.

“Ow! My jewels!” said the Shadow Knight. Jewels fell out of his suit at the crotch.

“I got his flame sword!” said Moe the troll. “Hyaaaaa! Yaaaa! Yes! I chopped off his arms!”

“Big deal! ‘Tis only a flesh wound!” said the Shadow Knight.

“Yes! I knew I could get him to say that!” Oscar the satyr cheered.

“And never again Goat boy...” said the Shadow knight sighing.

Eventually they killed the Shadow Knight and danced with his intestines! They sung a a song!

“Eeeeeugh!” Bart groaned in his room as he watched his dead character.

“Don’t worry sweetie. I’ll get each and every one of our friends for killing you! One by one!” said Marge.

“Meh... I’m going to play outside...“ said Bart.

Plot 4[]

Everyone except Marge and Hugo were playing soccer outside. Oscar was in the middle as everyone passed the ball around him, he was squealing “haaaaaauuuuw! Spotty!” at the ball repeatedly.

“Mom are you sure you don’t want to come out and play?” Bart asked.

“No I’m fine sweetie!” said Marge. She was on Earthland Realms having just killed Moe the troll. She was the new Shadow knight. She juggled Moe’s head by kicking it like a hackey sack.

“Why am I paying 45 dollars a month for this?” Moe sighed.

Outside.

“Look what I can do!” Homer did a football trick.

“Hohoho! I have taught you well Homer!” said Ronaldo. A little too well... He thought with shifty eyes...

Dun dun dun!

“Hey we haven’t saved Moe from that evil fake Moe!” said Oscar.

“Oscar that was just a gag scene...” said Bart. “Moe’s fine...”

The end.