Simpsons Fanon

Marge Be Not Proud Bart steals a videogame, Bonestorm, after his parents won't buy it for him. This version however he doesn't get caught as Oscar murders the security guard...


Bart and Lisa are watching a Krusty Christmas special with Tom Landry and Xoxo-how the hell do I pronounce that?! as guests on his show. He was getting out a turkey.

“Oh hi! I didn’t hear you come in!” said Krusty.

Then he had guests.

“Why it’s Tom Landry! And all the way from Brazil, Xoxo-er Oxockso- I’m not pronouncing that!” Krusty could not pronounce a guest’s hame.

"Why would Krusty be celebrating Christmas when he's Jewish?" asked Lisa.

"Lis, Christmas is a time for all religions to come together to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ." Bart replied.

There are then commercials for Little Miss cupcakes and ILG, selling your body's chemicals after you die. However suddenly there is a video game commercial for a violent video game called Bonestorm. Featuring two bored kids, a terminator Santa with a rocket launcher that fires video game cartridges and carnivorous reindeer.

"Cooooool!" Bart is excited by the video game.

"Hmmm, seems entertaining..." Lisa sighed.

"Oh yeah," Bart replied rubbing his tummy and drooling.

The commercial ends with Santa yelling "Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!"

"Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!" Bart tells his parents who are in the kitchen.

"Bart! Don't use that kind of language!" Marge scolded him.

"Yeah, in this house we use a little word called please." Homer added.

"I'm sorry. But can I please have a copy of Bonestorm this Christmas!" Bart asked.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but those games cost up to $70 and they're violent and distract you from your school work!" Marge explained.

Bart stormed off in a huff.


At bedtime Marge tucked him in in a babyish manner despite him protesting he was too old for tuck in time.

“All aboard the sleepy train, to visit Mother Goose! Bart’s stop is at Snoozy Lane, to rest his sweet caboose!” sang Marge.

“Mom tuck in time is lame...” said Bart.

Marge didn't seem to care about it being lame despite Bart's retort.

She then started quoting Forrest Gump so Bart stuck his waste paper basket/bin on his head and started smacking it with a drumstick loudly to drown out her voice.


The next day Bart saw the game for sale at Android's dungeon.

However Comic Book guy explained that was the rental price only. Not the actual buying price.

"Fine, can I please rent a copy of Bonestorm?" Bart asked.

Unfortunately there were no copies available. Comic book guy dryly joked that Bart could have everything in his till. However because Bart thought he was serious he had to stop him and explained he could have an alternative game that was available. A very boring golf game.

"Sorry, but that looks lame..." Bart replied.

"Indeed it is! But I'm not the one playing it! Only selling it because I have bills to pay! Now buy something or leave!" said Comic Book guy.

Bart sighed and left.


However on his way home he heard a loud video game and flashing lights coming from Milhouse's house. Bart went in to visit him.

Milhouse had been bought Bonestorm and was playing it.

"Hey cool dude. Can I play?" Bart asked.

"Uh, it's one player only." said Milhouse.

"But it says second player's score!" Bart replied, pointing to the screen.

"Mom! Bart's swearing!" Milhouse yelled.

Luanne literally kicked Bart out. He went home annoyed. Luckily Oscar was willing to help.

"Of course. You just have to promise one thing." Oscar asked.

"What?" Bart asked.

"Don't get mad at me for taking extreme measures to get you that game. You know full well your folks said no. I don't give a fig what they say. I don't give a fig that I'll end up causing an argument. Either one of you compromises with the other, like that's gonna happen or they'll just have to accept you're gonna have that game sooner or later." Oscar explained as they sat in Bart's treehouse.


One day Bart went to the shops and encountered Nelson and Jimbo. They were shoplifting. Nelson was stealing Nelson vests and hiding them under his vest and Jimbo stole a football and hid it under his hat.

"Uh I think my parents might get mad at me for stealing..." Bart replied. Nelson and Jimbo laughed at him.

“Shoplifting is a victimless crime!” said Nelson.

“Like punching someone in the dark!” said Jimbo laughing.

"See you later, loser!" they said as they went home.

Bart went in the Try N Save store Nelson and Jimbo had just robbed and went to the video game section.

"Maybe if I act really sad someone will feel sorry for me and buy me a copy." Bart pondered. He then stuck his hand in through the holes of the cabinet doors and nearly got it sliced off as a store clerk opened it for a customer.

"Don't you already have this game?" said a mother to her son.

"No! I have Bloodstorm, Bone Team and Bloodstorm II, stupid!" Gavin said rudely to his mom.

The store clerk handed Gavin's mom a copy.

"And get two! I'm not sharing with Catelyn!" Gavin yelled.

Eventually they went to pay for the game.

"That boy must the luckiest kid alive..." Bart sighed.

"Lisa would probably say he's extremely rude." Oscar remarked.

"That's Lisa for you." Bart sighed.

Now I wonder... Bart thought long and hard whether to steal the game. Mario, Luigi, Donkey Kong and Sonic convinced him to steal it. The golf game mascot however told him not to.

Bart went with his favourite video game mascots and stole a copy of Bonestorm. Hiding it in his jacket.

"Oooooh! Rebellious!" Oscar remarked. He had done far worse.

Bart managed to seemingly escape the store without being caught. However he had to stop to gloat.

Security guard Brodock stopped him.

"Alright kid. Let's see what you've got in your jacket." demanded the security guard.

"Think fast, chief!" quipped Oscar as he shot the security guard dead with a handgun.

"Oscar!" Bart gasped.

"Hey, what did we promise..." Oscar said with a frown. Bart sighed and ran home. They got home long before everyone else.

Bart went to his room to play Bonestorm.

"I'm just still shocked that you could kill someone like that." Bart commented as he played Bonestorm. "Whoooooa! This game is awesome!"

"I didn't think you had it in you to steal things." Oscar replied.

"I just hope no one finds out." Bart sighed.


Meanwhile Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie were driving home in a hurry.

"We've got to change Maggie! Oh God we've got to change Maggie!" said Homer as he drove home erratically.

Eventually they were home. Bart put Bonestorm back in its case and hid it in an aclove under his bed.

Marge came up to see them. She was dressed up nicely.

"Get dressed up Sweetie, it's time for our annual Christmas photos!" Marge explained as she got out Bart's church clothes.

Bart sighed and got dressed.

"And Oscar, that one Christmas. Did you bring any fancy outfits?" Marge asked.

"You mean anything dorky? No, not really." Oscar replied.

Marge sighed.

While Bart was upstairs getting dressed into his smart clothes, the Simpsons were having cereal for some odd reason. Marge went to get the milk but there was none. Just loads of cartons of egg nog.

“Homer did you get any milk today?! All I see is egg nog!” said Marge.

“Yes Marge, I’m taking advantage of the limited time offer! Thirty sweet noggy days! Then the government takes it away again... lousy government...” said Homer pouring himself some egg nog.

Lisa is in pain.

“Lisa are you alright?” Marge asked.

“I think I’m getting chest pains!” Lisa said, straining her voice from pain.

"No time for the doctor appointment!" Homer urged. "And we are not bringing you-know-who!"

Eventually Marge was waiting for Bart to brush his hair.

"Bart are you dressed yet?" Marge asked. Bart came out wearing a fake nose, chin putty and a hat and sunglasses.

"Bart! Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?!" Marge said slightly annoyed with him.

"I don't have to listen to these wild allegations!" Bart yelled dramatically in character. However he accidentally knocked off his fake nose. It fell on the floor near Santa's Little Helper who then started chewing on it.

"Sweetie, just once I'd like a nice Christmas family photograph. No more pranks." Marge sighed as she took off Bart's comical winter hat with earmuffs and sunglasses. He was imitating some famous historical figure presumably. He winced as she removed his chin putty.

We then see various previous Christmas family pictures featuring Bart causing all sorts of trouble such as pulling faces, wearing a fake moustache and holding up a speech bubble near Homer's head that read "I stink!"

"Hey! I don't remember saying that!" Homer remarked as he looked at the pictures.

"Ok everyone sit down while I set up the camera. And smile please..." Marge sighed as she finished combing Bart's hair.

Everyone sat down. Eventually the camera was set up on a timer. Marge quickly took her spot on the couch.

However Bart was pulling silly faces. Oscar joined in.

"Bart stop that!" Homer growled. As the camera took the photo it was of Homer strangling Bart, Oscar pulling a silly face (He was pulling his mouth open at the sides with his fingers and sticking his tongue out and rolling his eyes.) and Marge and Lisa were mortified.

"Great, now we have to take another picture..." Marge sighed.

Everyone groaned.

Eventually they got a nice picture.


However one afternoon Marge caught Bart playing Bonestorm.

"Bart! Where did you get that? Is that the game you asked for that I said you couldn't have?!" Marge yelled.

"Uh, I bought it for him." Oscar lied.

"How?! Where did you even get the money?" Marge asked.

"My inheritance..." Oscar replied.

"Hmmmm... Well you've just ruined one of your Christmas presents Bart!" Marge sighed.

"Wait, you were going to get me Bonestorm?!" Bart asked.

"Of course dear! Surely you've learned by now when I say no you can't have that around Christmas it means I'm planning a surprise!" Marge explained. "Except Tattoos. No means absolutely no in that case."

"Well gee, no usually actually means no in a lot of cases. I was afraid you were serious! (Great, I could have avoided all this mess involving stealing and Oscar murdering a security guard...)" Bart sighed. "And Milhouse got his early right when he asked."

"If Milhouse jumped off a cliff would you?" Marge asked.


Later Marge was off with Bart again while making dinner.

"If you want to play those sorts of games then you must think of yourself as an adult. Well you wanted to be treated like an an adult so I will." Marge said coldly.

That night, Bart didn't get tuck in time.

"Goodnight." said Marge simply as she turned off Bart's bedroom light.

The following morning Bart got up to find everyone was already up drinking hot cocoa and marshmallows. Grampa was around so he also missed greeting Grampa at the door.

"You didn't wake me up?" Bart asked yawning.

"I thought you'd like to get up at your own time." Marge explained.

She poured him a cup of cocoa.

"Where's my marshmallows?" Bart asked.

"Aren't you old enough to do that yourself?" Marge asked.

"I suppose so..." Bart replied as he took a marshmallow and put in his cocoa. However it absorbed all the cocoa becoming a big, fat, chocolate flavored marshmallow filling the volume of the cup. Bart sighed and tipped it out onto a plate and sliced it up to eat it.

"Give me a slice!" asked Grampa. Bart looked at him as he was eating.


Later Bart went to Milhouse's. Milhouse shied away from him while playing Bonestorm.

"Don't worry, I've already got Bonestorm!" Bart boasted.

Milhouse paused his game. "Jiminy Jillickers!" he gasped. "Wait, did you have to bribe your parents or something?!"

"No!" Bart replied. Bart played with his cup a ball. A ball-in-a-cup copy except not of the official ball-in-a-cup brand.

"Don't touch that." said Milhouse.

"But you're playing Bonestorm..." Bart retorted.

"Mom! Bart's smoking!" Milhouse yelled.

Luanne forced Bart out again.

"Ok! I'll stop bothering Milhouse!" Bart yelled. "Um, this is gonna sound weird but... Can I hang out with you while you do mom's stuff?" Bart asked. Luanne smiled.

They were writing Christmas letters and Bart was licking the envelopes closed.

"How are you able to lick so many envelopes without getting a sore tongue?" Luanne asked.

"Well, I forgot my permission slip to the chocolate factory once and had to spend the day in Principal Skinner's office licking envelopes..." Bart replied. "I've sort of developed a resistance."


Bart then went home to find the family giggling and having fun. They were building snowmen of themselves. Homer's snowman version of himself was a muscular man.

"You're building snow men without me?" Bart asked. Hurt.

"Well you were over at Milhouse's so we thought you were having fun. There's some leftover snow under the car. Don't stay out too long though. If your fingers feel numb come inside." Marge explained.

Bart sighed and made himself a halfhearted snowman version of himself with some very dirty snow mixed with mud from under the car and twigs for arms. However it collapsed. Bart sighed and went indoors.


One afternoon Marge is in Maggie's room rocking her gently to sleep. Maggie is sucking her pacifier gently while sleeping.

Bart comes in.

"I've just Maggie off to sleep, so you'll have to speak quietly." Marge whispered.

"Oh." Bart whispered. Suddenly he teared up and his lips quivered. Then he cried loudly. He came back in with a giant cookie and broke it in half. "I want cookies! (Pulls out a giant baby bottle.) and milkies! (Puts on an oversized sweater his grandma knitted for him at some point.) I wanna wear a sweater stitched with love! (Runs in wearing just a diaper and pouring talcum powder into it.) I wanna wear diapees! (Towards the fourth wall) Actually I don't! (Crying out loud again)" Bart comes in driving his tricycle that is way too small for him. "I wanna ride my trikey!" Bart comes in with his teddy bear. "And cuddly wuddlies with Mr Snuggums!" Bart comes in with a swollen thumb. "And kissy kisses on my boo boos!" Bart comes in in his pajamas. "And tuck in time!" Bart is still crying while Marge feels sorry for him. Maggie starts crying.

Marge comforts Bart, who is somehow dressed again (in between scenes). "Bart, you don't have to act like a baby to get my love, I will always love you."

Bart sniffles as he wipes his eyes.

"You miss my smothering don't you." Marge asked. Bart nodded.

"Just a bit."


That night at bed time. Marge sung Bart the tuck in time song and tucked him in. Bart giggled as she tickled his foot.

She kissed him goodnight. "Goodnight sweetie. Sweet dreams." She turned out his light and went off to put Maggie to bed.

However at a day trip to the mall Homer mistakes Bart’s avoidance of going in the shop for having tired little legs.

“Somebody has tired little legs! Tired little legs!” He grabs Bart and gives him a piggy back ride.

“Dad! Leggo!” Bart whined.

Lisa laughed at him getting humiliated.

Oscar frowned at her. “I don’t know what his problem is with that.” said Oscar. He is swiftly hoisted up by his ankles by Teddy in his fully grown grizzly form.

“Some one has tired little legs!” said Teddy giving Oscar a piggy back ride. Oscar struggled and squirmed.

When they got home Homer read the answering machine messages.

“Hello mother, hello father. Here I am at, camp Grenada!” Played a song over the answering machine.

“Marge! Is Lisa at Camp Grenada?” Homer asked.

“No Dad! I’m right here! That’s just some silly song Bart recorded on the answering machine.” said Lisa.

Bart laughed.

He then spent dinner dressed as an old fashioned deer huntsman in a Kyle Broflovski hat with sunglasses a big nose and chin putty.

“Is that one of my time travel disguises?!” Verne from the back to the future cartoon whined.

“I don’t have to listen to these wild allegations!” Bart yelled accidentally knocking off his fake nose again. The dog caught it and started chewing it.

“Mom the dog is chewing my fake rubber nose...” Bart whined.

“Oh Bart I really wish you wouldn’t play dress up at dinner...” Marge sighed pulling off his chin putty and taking off his sunglasses.

Then one early evening the Simpsons dressed up smartly and went to the outlet mall to get more photos done.

However this time it was Oscar mucking about with stupid costumes.

“Oz are you dressed?” Marge asked. “I hope that suit he wouldn’t try on in the store fits him...”

The song Wild and Free was sung by rock stars as Oscar came downstairs wearing his dinosaur costume. “Raaaaaaawr!” He roared like a dinosaur.

“Oscar no! This is not time to wear that! Put on the suit I brought you!” Marge sighed.

Oscar rolled his eyes and went upstairs to get dressed.

“We don’t have time for that silliness... we have to get to outlet mall before it closes...” said Marge.

That annoyed Bart. He also had tired little legs again so Homer carried him.

They got their photos done but Maggie whimpered and cried.

“Ooooh dear... here comes Mr funny voice...” said the photographer. He took a balloon and stupidly inhaled from it. “Why hello! I oh, it’s just air....” said the man realising it was just exhaled air.

Unfortunately Oscar’s dress like a dinosaur antics continued.

One morning the Simpsons were at church and we’re going in.

“Where’s Oscar, I hope he’s not running late...” said Marge checking a pocket watch.

Oscar jumped out the bushes dressed in his dinosaur pajamas like costume and roared at people going into church.

“Oz no!” Marge yelled slightly.

Then at the swimming pool another day.

The Simpsons were going swimming.

“Oz are you changed yet?” Marge asked at Oscar’s changing booth.

Oscar bursted out dressed in his dinosaur costume.

“Raaaaaaawr!” said Oscar.

The Simpsons face palmed.