Marge Simpson walked toward Bart's bedroom with more than a little hesitation. Though her son's room typically resembled something between a "junkyard" and a "disaster area", she was determined to clean his bedroom at least two or three times a year.
But as soon as she opened the door, she knew her work was cut out for her. Bart's bedroom had reached a new level of messiness: "thermonuclear wasteland". A motley collection of toys, comic books, clothes, candy wrappers, and unidentifiable refuse was strewn on the floor and every level surface of the room.
"Mmmmmmm," Marge groaned.
It took nearly two hours before the room attained a measure of cleanliness. Marge knew it wouldn't last even a few days, but she was still satisfied with her work, as only a full-time housewife can be.
She was just leaving the room when she noticed a wad of toilet paper under the bed. She kneeled down to get it, and was surprised to see piles of toilet paper underneath. As she started to collect them, she saw several magazines, which she casually pulled out.
She was shocked to see they were Playdudes! They were quite old copies, but somehow seemed familiar. Then she remembered they once belonged to Homer. She recalled telling her husband to throw them out several months earlier, but Bart had apparently retrieved them from the trash.
Finally piecing together all the clues, Marge figured it all out. Bart was masturbating! This explained why she noticed Bart spending more time in his bedroom lately. The wadded up toilet paper was obviously used to clean himself up. And the Playdudes were used as a sexual stimulus!
Marge replaced the magazines and left the toilet paper wads under the bed. Her first thought was to forget what she had found, because she thought Bart would be embarrassed if she revealed knowledge of his activities. But Marge kept thinking about the situation for the rest of the day. Should she tell Homer? Yes, she would. As the boy's father, Homer would be the natural person to have a discussion with Bart. It was obviously time for the proverbial "Birds and the Bees" talk, and Homer was just the man for the job.
"WHAT AM I THINKING?!" Marge suddenly realized. Homer was probably the LAST man for the job - any job! Horrific images of Homer trying to explain sex to Bart formed in her mind. She had had nightmares of Bart becoming a sleazy male stripper before, but with Homer's sexual advice it could be even worse than that!
No, she would have to find someone else to talk to Bart. Hmmm, but who? What about Grandpa Simpson? No - he'd probably lapse into an old story about taking the ferry to Shelbyville while wearing an onion on his hip. Maybe Principal Skinner? No - an unmarried middle-aged momma's boy probably wasn't the best choice for this kind of thing. Reverend Lovejoy? No - the Reverend was a good Christian, but there was an awful lot of bad blood between him and Bart. Maybe Apu? How about Barney? Or Otto? no, No, NOO!
Wait - Dr. Hibbert! Why didn't she think of him before? Marge picked up the phone and dialed the number to his office. But her plans were dashed when the answering machine told her the doctor was on a two-week vacation. She felt this was too long to wait, and once again she started thinking about who could teach Bart about sex.
Then it finally struck Marge; the best man for the job was a woman - HERSELF! She would explain the facts of life in loving terms that would best educate and benefit Bart. Yes! Why didn't she think of this first?
Marge began to put her plan into action. She arranged for Homer to take Lisa and Maggie to the zoo on Saturday, which would give her several hours alone with Bart. As her husband and daughters left the house, Marge carefully laid out cookies and milk in the living room. There - everything was finally set.
She called for Bart, who was in his bedroom, and he came downstairs. He looked a little flustered, and Marge couldn't help but wonder if she had interrupted one of his masturbation sessions.
"Come sit down, Bart, I have something to discuss with you." Bart looked very guilty, but he had learned not to confess to anything until there was absolute proof against him. He sat down and waited for his Mom to say something.
But Marge just sat there. She realized she hadn't given any thought at all on how to explain sex to Bart! "Um, have some cookies, Bart." Marge said quickly. As Bart began to eat, Marge desperately thought of some way to begin.
"Bart, I want to talk to you about your masturbating..." As soon as these words came from Marge's mouth, she knew she had made a dreadful mistake. Bart's mouth was frozen open and the cookie in his hand dropped to the floor.
"Oh, Bart, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to start out that way-"
"Mom...how did you...know?" Bart stammered, red-faced with humiliation.
Marge told him about finding the magazines under his bed. "I hope you won't be embarrassed by this, Bart. What you are doing is a very natural part of becoming a young man."
"It is?" said Bart, with relief in his voice.
"Yes. Most young boys begin to experiment with their sexuality at your age. And there's nothing wrong with self-love. It prepares you for the feelings you'll experience when you get older. And..." Marge paused, but decided to go ahead. "...I'm sure you enjoy the experience of having an orgasm."
"A what?" asked Bart.
"An orgasm is that special tingly feeling you get when you finish masturbating."
"Oh, I see. I didn't know what it was called."
"If there's anything you want to ask me, go right ahead," said Marge.
"Well, OK, I do have some questions."
"Yes, Bart, ask me anything you want," prompted Marge
"Well, it might be easier to show you." To Marge's shocked amazement, Bart stood up and pulled down his shorts and underwear. His small yellow cock sprang to erection.
Bart didn't seem to notice the look on his mother's face. "My pee-pee always gets big when I rub it. But sometimes it gets big like this for no reason at all. Why is that?"
Marge cleared her throat and tried not to stare too hard at her son's nakedness. "First of all, Bart, your pee-pee is more properly called a penis. And it's normal for a young boy's penis to get erect - that means big - at various times, even when you're not masturbating."
"I see," said Bart. "And when I have an 'orgasm,' I squirt out some white stuff. What's that for?
"It's called semen, Bart, and it contains your sperm. When a man's sperm joins with an egg from a woman, it makes a baby inside her tummy." Marge replied.
"Is that all semen is for?"
"Well..." Marge hesitated, but then had a sudden impulse to be honest with Bart. "Some women actually enjoy the taste of semen. So they swallow the man's sperm if he ejaculates in her mouth or on her face."
"Do you like the taste of semen, Mom?"
Marge could tell she was blushing, but she couldn't help but be honest with Bart, not to mention a little excited to be talking so frankly about her own sexuality. "Um, yes Bart, I'm actually quite fond of it. I almost always swallow your father's sperm. It tastes very good, and it helps to prevent pregnancy."
"I see." Bart said. "Mom - would you like to taste my semen?"
Marge knew her face was bright red at this point. An incredible thrill ran through her body as she looked at her son standing there with his small, but hard, erection. But, she couldn't say yes - could she?
Suddenly, a tiny figure of Marge dressed in a devil costume appeared on her left shoulder. "Yes! Go on, Margie, suck your son's cock! You know you want to!" Then another small figure of Marge, dressed as an angel, appeared on her right shoulder. "Margorie Bouvier Simpson - NO! How can you even think about doing that! It's a sin and completely wrong!"
But Marge barely heard the little angel as she stared at Bart's erect penis. "I'll do it!" thought Marge. The devil smiled wickedly and disappeared in an explosion of smoke. The angel could only gasp in shock and vanished in a puff of clouds.
Marge got down on her knees in front of her son. "I'd love to taste your semen, Bart." As Marge's mouth opened to receive her son's penis, a wave of intense pleasure ran through her body as she fully realized what she was doing - performing oral sex on her son!
Meanwhile, Bart's body was also quivering. "Aye Caramba, Mom, that feels so good!" He almost fell over as he knees weakened, but Marge was able to guide him to a sitting position on the couch. Marge discovered she could fit Bart's entire dick in her mouth, and even lick his tiny hairless balls while deep-throating him.
After less than a minute of her expert fellatio, Marge sensed Bart was about to cum and put all her energies into finishing him off. Bart then cried out, "Uh, uh, it's happening, Mom! It's happeninnnnnnggg!"
Then it happened! Bart began to squirt his boy-semen into his mother's mouth. Marge was careful not to lose a single drop of his fluid, nor did she swallow it immediately because she wanted to savor the flavor of her son's sperm. As Bart's ejaculations subsided, Marge rolled his jizz around her mouth, enjoying the sweet but salty flavor. Bart looked on with amazement as his mother smiled at him, then closed her eyes and swallowed.
Marge looked again at her son and said, "Oh Bart! That was delicious! You taste so good!"
Bart replied, "I'm glad you liked it, Mom! Do you think...we might do that again sometime?"
Marge thought only briefly about how utterly wrong it was for her to have sexual relations with her son. But the lingering taste of Bart's sperm, along with the incredible wetness of her own pussy, cast any doubts aside.
"Oh, my special little guy! We're going to have so much fun together..."