Simpsons Fanon
Advertisement

Love is a many strangled thing Homer tickles Bart too much at a sports game he won tickets for for saving Mr Burns From a wayward Montgolfier Brother’s hot air balloon and Bart pees his pants. Bart is embarrassed especially since he keeps having accidents from trauma so Marge makes him wear diapers. Meanwhile Homer takes parenting classes but when the teacher finds out he strangled Bart he teaches Homer a lesson by strangling him and making him frightened of Bart. Diaper wearing Bart uses this to his advantage.

Plot[]

The title gag is the Planet Express Ship from Futurama flying past as the Futurama theme plays.

The billboard gag is “do not accept candy from this bunny.” There is a picture of Moe in a bunny suit. Personally I can think of several men far more creepy and dangerous than poor Moe who is just grumpy and sleazy.

The chalkboard gag is “I will not ridicule Teacher’s Final Four bracket.”

The couch gag is ASCII art of the Simpsons sitting down on the couch. Bart takes some letters and spells out Fatso on Homer’s stomach. “D’oh!” Homer yells.

...

The episode opens at the power plant. Mr Burns has bought himself a replica of the Montgolfier Brother’s balloon. Or possibly the actual thing. He wishes to fly it round the world in eighty days.

Mr Burns is strangely speaking to Smithers in French. Probably because the Montgolfier Brothers were French. Luckily Smithers studied modern languages as part of his job as Mr Burns’s assistant.

“Okay let’s check off from this list... Feu Allume.” said Mr Burns. The fire burner that heats up the air inside the balloon.

“Oui.” said Smithers. Ticking it off the list.

“Ballon de Gonfle.” said Mr Burns. The French name for the Montgolfier balloon.

“Oui.”

“Now enlevez le ballast!” said Mr Burns. Drop the ballast.

The balloon ascended. It flew across the plant.

“Commencing aerial inspection of the plant...” said Mr Burns. Someone wrote on the roof in black spray paint “Kill Mr Burns!” “Ugh! Unflattering graffiti. (Spits out tea) Smithers! By gum! Who wrote that awful message!?”

“The culprit is still at the scene of the crime painting. Looks like your sworn enemy Oscar, sir.” said Smithers.

Oscar flipped the bird/stuck his middle finger up at Mr Burns.

“Very well... dispense spray paint cannon!” A gun that sprayed spray paint popped out from the basket. Mr Burns gingerly altered Oscar’s graffiti to read “Skilled Mr Burns!” with red hearts for eyes.

Oscar shook his fist with anger as Mr Burns’s balloon flew away.

“Gadzooks! The one hazard a balloon cannot negotiate! A gentle breeze. Gentle breeze from Trauma Center Wii is playing on Oscar’s Wii and Mypad as he plays Trauma Center while watching YouTube poops using that Gentle Breeze theme as a reoccurring gag.

Suddenly as soon as Mr Burns yelled Gadzooks as the gentle breeze blew his balloon off course, the green Great Gadzook from the Flintstones appeared. “You called?”

“Oh go away Great Gadzook! No one likes you!” Mr Burns yelled.

The balloon went off course.

“Help! Curtail my ascent! Curtail I say!” Mr Burns cried.

“Oh! Looks like Mr Burns is in trouble! Maybe we should help him.” said Carl.

Homer and Lenny glare at Carl.

“What? He’s our boss!” said Carl.

“He is a mean spirited, horrible old man we’d like to see kick the bucket! He ran over my boy! Made my baby daughter cry because she wanted to borrow his teddy bear, and why the hell does an old troll like him need a teddy bear for?! He sexually assaulted my wife! Tried to kill my Dad! Took my mother away from me! Blocked out the sun! Need I go on Carl?!” Homer ranted.

“Save me or your fired!” Mr Burns yelled.

“Up yours Mr Burns!” Homer yelled.

“Okay so you don’t like him Homer...” said Carl.

“He throws puddings at me at lunch! I’m a decorated war veteran!” said Lenny showing his Purple Heart medal.

“Really?! What war?” Homer asked.

“Iraq.” said Lenny.

“Anyone else hate our boss...” Carl sighed.

“He sent me to India...” said Charlie.

“He dropped me down the bottomless pit trap door for asking for health insurance...” said another worker.

“Fine... I’ll save our boss... Luckily I just got back from hunting.” said Carl. “I’m telling ya, I bagged the biggest Elk! Uh, where’d I put it?”

An elk bellows.

“Is that the same one you bagged?” Lenny asked.

“Perhaps. Why?” Carl asked.

“Because it’s heading right this way!” said Lenny. The elk ran at Carl and bucked him. Sending him flying.

...

Mr Burns’s balloon continued to flounder. “Oh curse those wretched, insolent employees! What did I ever do to them to get the cold shoulder?!” said Mr Burns.

Smithers looked at him as if to say “Really now?! Really?! You don’t know why everyone hates you?!”

“Help! I’m waiting on a zephyr!” said Mr Burns.

An angry Greek cloud face of the Greek god Zephyrus exhaled wind at the balloon.

Homer decided despite my fixing of canon and characters being blissfully unaware of the numerous evil things Mr Burns has done... decided to try to shoot down the balloon with Carl’s gun. But something stopped him. “Oh I can’t! A balloon once saved my life by widening my cholesterol clogged arteries! (Balloon angioplasty) I can’t kill his cousin!”

“Aaaaaagh!” Mr Burns screamed as he was blown away across town.

He cut threw a marry me sky banner someone wrote for their wife. It read “Marry me, Pam!” But Burns cut off the M so it said “Marry me, Pa!“

“That is just sick!” A rough looking man who looks like Coach Krupt yelled at his son and slapped him.

As Mr Burns and his balloon flew off because of the gentle breeze and angry Greek gods of wind, some super bowl tickets fell from the balloon.

“Super bowl tickets!” Homer cheered. He took them. There were oddly enough for his entire family and Oscar.

...

Meanwhile Mr Burns’s balloon landed in a tree and he was rescued by scary rednecks from Deliverance.

“Oh backwards country folk! You saved my life! How can I ever repay you?!” Mr Burns asked the rednecks despite them pointing guns at him.

“By giving us all your money and worldly goods!” said the biggest and meanest redneck.

“Lower and likelier...” Mr Burns sighed exasperated.

“Fine... super bowl tickets.” said the redneck.

Mr Burns frowned.

“Playoff tickets?”

Nuh uh.

“Playoff season, bobble heads day?” The redneck asked.

“Nothing-Head day!” Mr Burns yelled.

...

The Simpsons went to the Super Bowl stadium. There were headless people there. Well Mr Burns did say nothing Head day...

“Wow! I know I lie down in front of bulldozers to stop these stadiums being built but this is actually pretty sweet!” said Lisa.

“Yeah there was that time Mr Burns just drove his steam rollers over you and we found out you’re a toon and therefore indestructible.” said Oscar.

In a cutaway Mr Burns driving a steam roller ran over and squashed Lisa. She was squashed flat like a pancake. Then she got up still flat and looked around. “Surprise! ... not really...”

“Holy smokes she’s a toon!” said Oscar.

“Oz no references...” Bart sighed.

They walked the shop area of the stadium with all the shops.

“It’s so fancy! Sushi bars!” said Marge.

Hugo’s face lit up with joy. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” He ran off to the sushi bar with Oscar.

“Hugo! Don’t run off!” Marge yelled. "Slow down! Wait for us!"

“It’s okay sweetie. Continue pointing out things...” said Homer.

“A 60 screen movie theatre!” Marge gasped.

“Oh my god! I’d be like a kid in a candy store, except with movies to watch.” said Homer running off to the huge movie theatre with sixty screens...

“Homie! Oh what’s the use... um where was I... A museum of tolerance?” Marge continued reading her lines.

There was a museum of tolerance. A KKK (Ku Klux Klan) grand wizard went inside. Moments later he came out crying and blubbering. “That museum is right! I am a horrible person! Maybe I should be nicer to black people!”

Lisa grimaced at the fourth wall. “I think the two rival fans was sufficient for that gag Narrator...”

“They even have a day spa staffed by former all pro lines men!” said Marge.

Super bowl players, or former players were in the day spa massaging people. One of the former players was voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson. He’s gonna be a reoccurring character isn’t he...

“I wouldn’t have to do this if I hadn’t bought a Ferrari a day for 22 seasons... flip over please.” said Kevin Michael Richardson. The person being massaged turned over onto his back. That must be a reference to the exact number of seasons the Simpsons have done now so far. Twenty two!

“Well I once hosted Saturday Night Live!” said the other former player. “Once again Ladies and Gentlemen, Matchbox 20.”

“Who dat?” Kevin Michael Richardson asked.

A land shark came in carrying a box of chocolates and flowers. “Candy gram?”

...

For the sake of this gag Oscar is briefly back with the Simpsons as the point out more shops or exhibits or spas.

“Oh look! All the former Super bowl mascot animals!” said Marge as the Simpsons stopped at an enclosure with all sorts of animals inside it and an aquarium tank with a dolphin swimming inside it.

“Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!” Oscar squealed pointing at the dolphin as he ate sushi.

Suddenly the animals started fighting each other. The Simpsons and Oscar walked away with looks of Horror on their faces. And the dolphin got out of his tank and started slapping a panther. XD!

(Dolphin whistling and squeaking)

“Oh look! An art district for football hating intellectuals!” said Marge.

There were intellectuals drinking.

“Ugh, we’ll stay for one inning then we’re going home...” said the intellectuals.

“Wow! There’s a lot of stuff here for everyone!” said Homer.

“Well not me. But then we did go to a super bowl, we’re really here to see the game... not be bored and want to do other things...” said Bart.

“There’s a bouncy castle with space hoppers!” said Oscar riding on a space hopper.

Bart sighed.

Homer checker his watch. “Oh we better get home, the game’s about to start!”

“Oh homie! The game’s right here!” said Marge pointing to the stadium itself where the game was being played.

“Oh! How stupid of me! Hehehehe!” said Homer.

"Where can Hugo sit?" Lisa asked.

Oh, he doesn't get a seat." Homer replied. "He's standing up during the game!"

They went to the game but encountered Mr Burns with a gargoyle head on his head from his mishap with his balloon.

The Simpsons screamed.

“Aaaaaagh! It’s Pazuzu!” Oscar screamed. Pazuzu is a great name for a gargoyle along with Zuul, Vinz Clortho or Brooklyn...

Bart slapped a Oscar for being stupid.

Mr Burns took off the gargoyle head with some difficulty. Underneath he actually had horns. He poked them in.

“You! I demand my tickets back! I bought them for myself, Smithers, Rasputin, Atilla the hun, Lucrezia Borgia, Adolf Hitler and Ivan the terrible! How dare you steal from me!” Mr Burns ranted.

“You snooze you’re lose Mr Burns.” said Homer.

“Who was sitting where I am? Because I hate all of your friends Monty. Except maybe Rasputin.” said Oscar.

The Simpsons give him a concerned look as to why he liked that particular evil person from history.

“What? I’m a big fan of Boney M! Ra ra Rasputin! Lover of the Russian Queen! There was a cat who really was gone! Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia’s great love machine, ‘twas a shame how he carried on!” Oscar sung while playing his guitar.

The Simpsons and Mr Burns, Smithers and the evil people throughout history Mr Burns chose to take to the super bowl ran off screaming from Oscar’s singing.

“Hey where did everyone go?” Oscar asked.

Plot 2[]

The game started. There was players playing American football and antics in the crowd and a big screen showing the crowd.

A football player kicked the ball and it went flying and hit a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and went over the H goal. Why there was a chandelier I don’t know. Everyone cheered.

Marge saw the fan cam was recording everyone in the crowd. “Oh look! The fan cam!”

The screen then had a cartoon donkey with the words “Make an ass of yourself!” And the song Everybody dance now! played.

Disco Stu was dancing. As that was his thing.

Even a food and drinks vendor danced. Splashing beer over annoyed fans.

Crazy Old Jewish man from the retirement home danced until he died. Then his ghost came out of him and danced.

The Simpsons except Bart were dancing. Bart was just sat looking bored.

"Why aren't you dancing?" Hugo asked his formerly conjoined twin brother.

“Everybody dance now!” Homer sung badly along as he danced. He noticed Bart wasn’t joining in.

The screen called Bart a party pooper. Everyone booed him.

“Come on Bart! You party pooper! Bust a move!” said Homer dancing.

“Nah.” said Bart. “This song is a little bossy for me...”

“Now come on sour puss!” said Homer. “Hehehe!” He tickles Bart. “Tickle! Tickle!”

Bart giggles because he is severely ticklish. “Stop it!” He gets more hysterical with giggling.

Everyone can see Bart on cam still.

“Hehehehe! Cut it out!” Bart tries to sound annoyed but can’t stop laughing. However he is getting a bit uncomfortable being tickled. Because apparently Homer is weird for tickling his kids.

“Homer maybe you should stop now. We’ve talked about the grey zone...” said Marge.

“Marge he’s laughing” said Homer as he tickles Bart and Bart giggles. “That means he’s happy! Has the Joker taught you nothing?”

“He taught me how to make a pencil disappear. Into someone’s eye!” said Oscar.

Bart was giggling while being tickled. “Quit it! Knock it off! Dad this isn’t funny!” Bart tried to yell while being tickled. Suddenly he wet his pants. Bart gasped at the large wet patch on his shorts.

“That child has wetted his trousers!” said Sideshow Mel as everyone saw everything on the big screen.

Everyone laughed as Bart embarrassed crossed his legs to hide his accident. A message on screen said “Got urine?” Bart was mortified as everyone laughed at him.

“Dad how could you do that?! The whole audience saw me pee my pants!” Bart cried on the verge of tears.

Homer looked worried like he had done something wrong.

“Son I’m really sorry! Woooooo! (Mexican waves) I really Hope I can make it up to you! Wooooo! Please forgive me! Wooooo!” Homer tried to be serious but kept Mexican waving.

“Homer! Just because everyone else is doing the Mexican wave doesn’t mean you have to!” said Marge.

No one was Mexican waving though.

“No one else is doing it. I’m trying to start it! Woooooo! Woooooooo!”

Bart glared at Homer as he was doing the Mexican wave still. Then we fade to black.

...

Then we start my apparently creepy diaper fetish part of the story. Damn kink shamers...

The Simpsons went home from the game. Everyone was annoyed at Homer, especially Bart and Marge.

“Homer, how could you humiliate Bart like that and cause him to wet himself?! Now we all have to go home so Bart can change his pants! The entire day ruined! And it’s all your fault!” Marge ranted.

“Please forgive me boy!” Homer whined.

“Homer I am so mad at your right now I am no longer addressing you properly as Dad! In fact I feel so angry I feel one of my scary hallucinations of your face melting coming on!”

Bart imagines Homer’s face melting off into a horrifying ghoul.

“Now how bout a hug?!” The frightening ghoul asked in a creepy voice.

“Yaaaaaaagh!” Bart screamed. Hugo hissed at Homer.

“Bart you have to do something about those rage induced hallucinations of yours...” said Marge.

Everyone blanked Homer annoyed at him for the entire car journey home.

“Oooooh!” Homer whined as everyone angry walked inside ignoring him.

Bart went upstairs to get changed. Hugo waited outside the room, and he was angry with Homer, too.

...

Bart was muttering angrily about Homer while taking off his shorts and soiled underwear. He put them in the wash.

“Bart, can I come in?” Marge asked.

“Just a sec! Not decent!” said Bart. He quickly put on a fresh pair of white underwear and a pair of blue shorts.

Then he let Marge in.

“Sweetie I’m so sorry.” said Marge comforting him.

“It’s okay, you don’t owe me an apology. Dad does. And I won’t accept any phoney apology from him until he feels the humiliation I feel!” Bart said politely to Marge before sounding sharp and bitter towards his dad.

Hugo climed up on the bed next to Bart.

“Hmmmm I don’t think causing him to wet himself is the solution Bart! Don’t worry, I’ll sort this out.” said Marge, hugging Bart.

Hugo hugged his twin brother. "Bart, I am so sorry that father humiliated you today. I understand how cruel he was when he locked me away in the attic all these years."

“I get this is a big deal and humiliating to Bart and ninety percent of every other kid who can hold their bladder. Just be mindful I am in the ten percent that can’t. The freaks...” said Oscar.

“Ooooooh! Don’t ever say that about yourself sweetie!” Marge hugged Oscar.

“Yeah Oz. As much as I get exasperated by your childishness. I’ve never made fun of you for it...” said Bart.

“Well except once when I peed myself in the cafeteria and you laughed when Nelson started everyone laughing.” said Oscar.

“Hehehe... Ahem! Sorry it’s just that the bullies get to decide what’s funny at school...” said Bart.

Marge frowned at Bart.

“Anyway Oz, my situation isn’t the same as yours. Dad tickled me too much so I had one accident. I’m sure it won’t affect my years of good toilet training.” said Bart.

“Sweetie, you weren’t potty trained until you were five...” said Marge.

Oscar laughed.

“Thanks mom... and as for you Oz... uh what is your problem with holding yourself again?!” Bart asked.

“Ugh.... I told you a zillion times... my evil and now dead parents used to beat me, for all kinds of things, like wetting myself. Everyone should know by now you show some kindness and sympathy if your kid has an accident getting to the bathroom, not by frightening them into being potty trained! Trauma just sends a kid backwards. Like I did. Because of those years of trauma I never got potty trained...” said Oscar.

“So you wear...” Bart winced.

“I wear diapers still, yes.” said Oscar. “Which I’m used to. I kinda like them.”

“Well that ain’t happening to me! This accident was a one off. I know to get to the bathroom on time.” said Bart.

Oscar was reading Bart’s guide to life. He was on The page of his idea of a dream bedroom.

“Tinkle magic early bed wetting alarm system?” Oscar asked.

“Okay I have some accidents!” Bart whined tearfully.

“Plus all those times I added when you have a sleep over at someone else’s house.” said Oscar.

...

That night.

“I’m really, really sorry I embarrassed Bart like that!” Homer whined.

“So you should be! I’m mad at you too! You wrecked years of that boy’s self esteem!” Marge scolded Homer.

“Well you shouldn’t have given him self esteem!” Homer replied.

“You shouldn’t have kept tickling him when I told you to stop!” Marge yelled


Bart could hear them bickering from his bedroom.

He rolled his eyes and face timed/skyped with Jimbo and Kearney.

“Hey Bart! I heard the weather is forecasting showers! Showers in your pants! Hahahaha!” Jimbo laughed while doing the weather for some reason. Hugo scowled at him

“I’m on a European vacation! Buy you’re ah peeing everywhere! Oui! Oui!” Kearney quipped while dressed as a French stereotype in France. Hugo hissed angrily at him

Kearney and Jimbo tried to fist bump one another but found this difficult over Skype.

“Fist bumping is a lot harder over Skype.

“Oh why did I offer to referee this conference...” Bart groaned.

......

In the master bedroom Marge decided the only way Homer would learn what Bart was feeling was for him to attend a parenting class.

“Ooooooh! But all those neglectful fathers will make fun of me!” Homer whined.

“It’s a great idea. Not just because what happened to Bart today but it will also make you be a good father to Hugo, Eric and Tiny Tim.” said Marge.

“Please Daddy, May we have some candy?” Tiny Tim from a Christmas Carol asked.

“No! No candy for you! Go to bed!” Homer said to the Victorian boy in his pajamas using crutches as he limped off to bed.

...

Homer was attending a class run by a man in a red sweater called Zander. Kirk and Apu were there too! Hehehehe!

“My name is Dr Zander.” said Dr Zander.

“Oooooooh! I wanted Dr Zaius!” Homer whined.

Zander went around the fathers to hear their stories. However Homer’s...

“So Bart was being a little Dickens the other day and said I had an elephant’s butt so I strangled him!” said Homer.

Dr Zander was horrified.

“You strangle your son?!” Dr Zander.

“Well it’s not the only tool in my box as a parent... but it’s the sharpest!” said Homer.

Dr Zander was horrified.

“It’s how I was raised.” said Homer. In a dream cloud...

........

“Look at this report card! Terrible! They're a discrace! No TV for a month!” Young Abe scolded young Homer. “And you’re grounded!”

“Why you big!” Homer as a little boy strangled his Dad for grounding him and not letting him watch TV."

......

“I I I can’t believe this! You’re seriously saying you lay your hands on your child’s neck!?” Zander was horrified.

“Well I also lock my other boy, Hugo up in the attic and chain him up like a dangerous animal...” said Homer. “And feed him only fish heads once a month...”

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I’ve heard enough! Get out! Get out of my class!” Zander shouted.

“Okay...” Homer whined.

.........

When a Homer left. Zander called someone on his mobile. “Is that social services? Uh huh... oh... you’re aware of Mr Simpson already? Oh! You have an open case on him... ah ha... child endangerment and neglect, one file on Hugo V Simpson... yeah can you open a protection order on Bart J Simpson. Ah thanks, let’s nail this bastard together...”

...

Marge was horrified Homer’s big mouth got Social services involved again.

“I’ve told you we’ve been looking after and feeding Hugo properly!” Marge cried.

“Oh this isn’t about Hugo. This about your husband strangling your other son, Bart!” said a social worker taking all the kids.

“And that time Bart got head lice and Lisa lost her shoes and we found your house in a pig stye with garbage everywhere and a dog on the kitchen table!” said another social worker.

"Hugo was fed fish heads once a week and hed been wearing the same clothes all his life. Due to his diet, this boy was starved and neglected. He also will require 10 tetanus shots due to a lack of footwear. Hugo never went to school...where did the child go to the bathroom while he was isolated in the attic?" the CPS agent demanded as he examined Hugo's head for lice.

Santa’s little Helper was on the kitchen table.

“A dog on the table?!” Marge saw Santa’s Little Helper walking on the table. He whined and hopped down from the table.

“Homer this is all your fault! Because of you we’ve lost our kids again!” Marge yelled.

“Actually only Homer has lost access to the kids. You can keep them as long as that monster never sets foot in this house...” said a social worker. “Or until he completed he strict regimen of parenting classes...”

Marge cried as her children had to go to into care until she made this tough decision. Her kids or her husband.

...

Meanwhile.

One evening after Bart’s Skype and the evening of the day he peed himself.

Bart was with his sister Lisa watching the news of the events where he peed himself.

“And the stadium owners Howard Duff VIII taking pity on the poor boy, opened the stadium roof so the summer heat would dry his pants. However the stain was picked up by a Russian satellite. President Mendeleev- (the dude Putin appointed as his puppet because he couldn’t legally run for another term as president, then he could if the terms weren’t consecutive and he changed the law so he could run for re-election as long as he liked.) saw this as a sign of American weakness. Russian subs were seen entering Springfield’s harbour this evening... All glory to Mother Russia!” said Kent as America surrendered to communism.

Bart sighed and went to bed.

The next morning was school. He got on the bus. Everyone laughed at him because of his accident.

“Where’s your diaper, baby?!” Jimbo asked pulling down Bart’s shorts and exposing his underwear. Everyone laughed at Bart except for Oscar, Lisa and Hugo.

"Haw-haw!" Nelson laughed.

Bart started crying.

......

The present.

The Simpson kids lived together in a care home. Bart and Lisa were miserable over this. Maggie sucked her pacifier. Hugo was clonking his fish bucket (which the care workers of the home cleaned and sterilized for him) against things loudly.

“Hugo, would you stop clonking your bucket!” Bart yelled.

Hugo ignored him and kept clonking it.

And Eric cried loudly in a baby walker while wearing a green baby gro, baby pajamas.

Tiny Tim was also there limping about on crutches and eating sweets.

Maggie was fast asleep in her crib.

“You guys can’t blame me this time. It was your dad’s big mouth this time...” said Oscar.

“Yes we know. And we even have forgiven you for that! You were right! Mom and Dad shouldn’t have locked Hugo away.” said Bart.

As for Lisa, she was playing a sad, longing melody on her saxophone.

Plot 3[]

Stress from Homer’s idiocy causing them to be separated from Mom caused Bart to wet himself regularly.

The care home staff spoke with him and a lady care worker explained he’d have to wear pull ups.

“No way lady!” Bart frowned.

“Bart, please.” Marge sighed as she was currently only allowed to see he children under supervision.

“Fine...” Bart winced as the only pull ups available we’re Happy little Elves ones with pictures of the elves and the green curious bear cub on them.

Bart’s problem did not improve. Instead of soiling underwear, he soiled his pull ups.

“Hmmmmm! Well I only have girl diapers... oh wait I forgot Oscar made Eric a character.” said Marge as a pack of boy diapers for Eric appeared. “These are too small for Bart though.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll take the same size ones I use.” said Oscar holding a packet of diapers meant for nine to ten year olds.

With some stubbornness from Bart and arguing he eventually relented and wore the diapers.

“Mmmmm ABDL and babyfurs...” said Oscar bring weird.

His teddy bear Teddy sniffed Bart’s diapered crotch with his big wet shiny black nose. Bart winced and blushed.

Suddenly a wretched hive of scum and villainy bursted into the room.

“You!” Yelled a Deviantart kink shaming troll.

“Yeah what of it?” Oscar asked.

“Stop writing diaper fetish stories you sicko! You’re a pedo!” said the cyber troll.

“I’m a pedo for writing about a fictional cartoon character in a diaper...” Oscar sighed.

“Yeah!” said the cyber trolls.

“I don’t have to listen to such a wretched hive of scum and villainy! Get out, you kink shamers!” Oscar yelled.

“Yeah!” said an artist who liked inflation art.

“Yeah!” said a furry.

“Screw you!” said a foot fetish guy.

“You are all sick!” said the Cyber trolls plaguing Deviantart with their kink shaming.

...

Mean while Zander took Homer back to be on his parenting course.

“However because of the seriousness of this. Which as you can see I am demonstrating by sitting on my chair backwards.” said Zander.

“Oh that’s serious alright.” said Homer.

“I have little choice but to bring in Lakers player Abdul-Jabbar!” said Zander.

Abdul-Jabbar, a monstrously giant of a man came in.

Wiggum screamed mistaking him for the giant advertisement mascot monsters from Treehouse of Horror VI.

“Chief he’s not a monster, that’s Abdul-Jabbar from the Lakers...” said Lou.

“Well he looks like a monster...” said Wiggum.

“Oooooh! I wanted Kobe Bryant!” Homer whined.

The therapy as Zander explained was for Homer to feel frightened like Bart feels when He strangles him. Abdul-Jabbar put a Homer scalp on his own head and Bart spikes on Homer’s head.

“Where did you get these?!” Homer asked.

“Oh Mr Burns recommended a shop.” said Zander. “Now you will feel the same fear a little boy feels like your son when you strangle him!” said Zander.

Abdul-Jabbar strangled Homer as scary music played.

“Hold on. I don’t want to hurt this guy!” said Abdul-Jabbar.

“You have a good heart Abdul-Jabbar.” said Zander.

“Homer! When I heard what you did! I was so mad I missed a slam dunk! Raaaaaagh!” Abdul-Jabbar strangled Homer.

...

After a therapy strangely familiar to Ned’s spanking therapy, Homer was allowed home and so were the kids.

While Homer was at therapy, Bart watched cartoons. The almighty narrator made him poop his diaper with really messy stinky poop.

Bart winced as he messed his diaper.

“Ugh! Narrator...” he groaned.

He went upstairs to change. Lisa smelt him.

“Ugh! Bart!” Lisa groaned.

“Blame the narrator...” said Bart.

“Narrator, stop making Bart Incontinent...” Lisa sighed.

One morning Bart and Homer drank orange juice.

“Boy?” Homer asked.

“Uh huh?” Bart asked still mad at him.

“I’m cured!” said Homer.

“So you’ve stopped drinking?” Bart asked.

“Oh no I can’t stop drinking. That’s the thing that wakes me up in the morning!” said Homer adding vodka to his orange juice and drinking the resulting Screwdriver. He immediately feels tipsy. “Now that’s waking up in the morning...”

“I meant I’m cured of my blinding rage!” said Homer.

“Again?” said Bart holding a sign saying “I am Furious Yellow.”

“Yes but this time with out the rage lumps or me becoming the Incredible Hulk. Try to anger me!” said Homer.

“Dad I just got up.” said Bart.

“Cone on! Rile me!” said Honer.

Bart for some reason had a big electric fan on to cool the house down. He threw eggs into it and they splattered over Homer.

“Why you little!” Homer went to strangle him but imagined Bart turning into Abdul-Jabbar. Homer screamed.

“I’m in your head!” said Abdul-Jabbar.

Bart smirked and kept throwing eggs into the fan.

Homer trying to repress his anger got rage lumps on his neck and collapsed into a stroke.

“Aaaaawwww! My son’s first stroke! Say agrhgnhghjgbfnhjjjjmmmmm!” said Abe. Not funny Abe...

...

In the back yard Homer was in his non magical clone making hammock.

“Must not get angry with the boy! Must not get angry with the boy!” Bart was on the roof pouring cement into the gutters.

“Bart get down from there!” Homer asked concerned.

“And if I don’t?” Bart asked defiantly.

“Why you little!” Homer yelled and climbed the ladder. Bart’s tree his treehouse is in morphed into Abdul-Jabbar.

“You’re a tree now?!” Homer asked Abdul-Jabbar.

Abdul-Jabbar strangles him.

Bart can’t see Abdul-Jabbar but he can see Homer crying. He laughs evilly.

At school Bart dressed as a yokel steals Willie’s Tractor and drives it into the school as the exhaust spout lid clips up and down as if it is talking!!

“Hey Bart! I’m Willie’s tractor! I can talk!” said Oscar doing a voice for the tractor.

Bart rolled his eyes frustrated with Oscar’s stupidity.

“Hey boy! I do not sound like that!” said the tractor with a black rapper style voice. “Bwark bwaaaaark!”

“I resent that impression of me!” An upperclass gentlemanly chicken yelled.

Oscar screamed maniacally at the sight of a talking chicken.

Bart sighed as he drove the tractor through the school halls.

Edna stopped him.

“Bart Simpson! What would your father say if he saw what you were doing right now!?” Edna Krabappel yelled.

“He’d blubber like a big baby because he’s scared of me!” said Bart.

“I highly doubt that!” said Krabappel.

“You can see for yourself.” said Bart.

In a class room. Homer whimpering was doing lines. “Bart is my master and unquestionable overlord.”

“After you’re done wipe down the board. Do your limes again and then wash my car!” Bart yelled giving Homer some keys.

“But these are my car keys!” said Homer.

“What was that?!” Bart said harshly.

“I mean my keys sir, is ready for a whooping!” said Homer. My keister is ready for a whooping.

Bart laughed evilly and drove into the gym causing mayhem with Willie’s tractor.

...

That night Homer had nightmares. He had a nightmare he was kid Michael Jackson in the Jackson five being picked on by Bart as Joseph Jackson. Michael’s abusive father.

“It’s A B C One Two Three! How hard can it be!?” Bart as Joseph Jackson yelled.

Homer as little Michael cried and ran off.

Macaulay Culkin screamed like Kevin. “I will wreck your career by making false accusations about you!”

Then Homer found he was thin and in a back garden decorated with a basketball hoop and Bart as Wilbur Meechum and Homer is Ben. Bart berates him for being a wuss and dribbles the basketball ball off of his head.

Homer then finds to his dismay when he goes upstairs that he is extremely fat. Even more so than usual.

“Who am I now!?” He asked.

“You’re Precious.” said Bart as Precious’s mom.

“Oh thank you boy!” Homer said lovingly.

“No! Dad don’t you watch any artsy movies?! Precious is about a really fat black girl being bullied by her cruel mother about how she won’t amount to anything...” said nightmare Bart as Precious’s mom.

“Ooooooh! Homer groaned.

He ran away chased by Bart as Precious’s Mom. Suddenly Homer as Precious was eating KFC.

“KFC?! As yummy as that is I think that might be a problem writers!” said Homer. “What with me being a black girl...”

“Oooooh let’s be more racist!” said the writers making Homer black, giving him exaggerated lips and a watermelon to hold to go with his KFC.

“You’re so fat the only thing your good for is if Star Wars needs another Death Star!” Bart yelled.

...

In reality Homer was whining and crying in his sleep as Marge tried to wake him.

“No! No more Star Wars references!” Homer cried. I didn’t make that line up. He actually says that more or less in canon.

“Homer, Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father!” said nightmare Bart as Darth Vader.

“Duh! My father is your grandfather! Abraham Simpson!” said Homer.

“Oh let me do the line...” Bart as Darth Vader in the nightmare whined.

“What line?” Homer asked.

Darth Vader’s Head morphed into Abraham Simpson. “No! I am your father!” Dun! Dun! Duh da da duh da da duh!

“No! That’s not true! That’s impossible! Oh wait what am I saying?! It is true and it is entirely possible! We even did a stupid paternity test episode!” said Homer.

“Also you’re a screw up! You’re afraid of your own son!” said Abe Vader.

“Nooooooooooo! No!” Homer as Luke screamed.

“Homer wake up! You’re having a strangely specific nightmare about abusive famous fathers!” said Marge. Homer woke up.

“Oh what a horrible nightmare! I dreamed I was a fat black girl!” said Homer.

“Uh Homer that sounded racist. Just say you had a nightmare about Bart.” said Marge.

“Oh no I had a horrible nightmare! That Bart was very mean and horrible famous Dads and I was each of their poor children!” said Homer.

“That’s better. But I think now Bart needs therapy. Why is it the first act you were to blame for making him wet himself and now the second act is him bullying you?!” said Marge.

“I don’t know! It’s a very weirdly written episode!” said Homer.

“No it’s not! It makes perfect sense! I’m getting my revenge on Dad for making me wet my pants!” said Bart.

“Oooooooh! Bart stop picking on your father.” said Marge annoyed.

“Well Dr Zander and Abdul-Jabbar are also sort of to blame.” said Homer.

“Well I think you both need a seminar with Dr Zander.” said Marge.

...

However unfortunately Dr Zander lost his job and was living homeless with other luxury workers like wedding planners, catering and waiters.

“Mushrooms ma’am?” A waiter asked.

“Those are just pieces of broken glass...” said Marge.

“I will let the chef know...” said the waiter. He then muttered about his monkey.

“Uh oh...” said Dr Zander.

“What?” Marge asked.

“The Sommeliers are coming!” Cue Zombie sommeliers!

“Buttery finishhhh...”

“Great year for Ziiiiin...”

“This is what I drink at hooooome!” said the zombie Sommeliers! Zombiiiiiees!

Marge screamed and ran off with Dr Zander to flee the zombies.

Plot 4[]

Dr Zander agreed to a seminar with Bart and Homer in the wilderness because his therapy worked too well and made Homer a wimp. Which Bart was taking advantage of.

To Bart’s embarrassment Marge was packing his diapers.

“Now are you sure you’re clean. You don’t want a diaper rash.” said Marge.

“Yes I’m clean. After Narrator wrote me pooping myself three times today because he has a weird thing for pooping...” said Bart. Suddenly he sharted. Shit and farted. With a gross cartoonish splat as he filled his diaper. “Ugh! Narrator stop making me poop...” Bart groaned.

Oscar was strangling the cyber trolls for reporting and getting his weird diaper stories removed.

“Why you! Diaper pride! Diaper pride!” Oscar strangled the cyber troll with a rainbow flag.

“You are not an oppressed sexuality! You’re dangerous perverts!” The cyber troll ranted.

Bart winced. Then he lied down on his bed and let Marge change his stinky diaper.

After getting his diaper changed Bart went to the countryside/nature with Homer and Dr Zander.

Dr Zander was explaining how he took them to appreciate nature and its beauty.

Bart got an orange snake and put it down Homer’s pants. Homer screamed and danced about.

“Bart! Pay attention!” Dr Zander yelled. He put his hand down Homer’s trousers to get the snake... “that’s not the snake.... is it...” Dr Zander grimaced.

“No but don’t let go... Mmmmmmm...” said Homer being a pervert.

Dr Zander sighed and let go of Homer’s wang and fished out the snake. “I’m sorry my scaly serpent friend. Go back to your home...” said Dr Zander to the snake.

The snake slithered up Homer’s trousers. He screamed and danced about.

...

At Home Marge wanted a side story with Lisa despite it was near the end of the episode. In fact including the stuff I added, it is!

“Now Homer and Bart are out, let’s have a girls day with chocolate sundaes and watching the four saddest pony and horse films I could find. Broken leg beauty, Sorry Silver (The Lone Ranger’s horse), No more Mint Juleps. (Mmmmm! Mint Julep...) and one that’s so sad I can’t read the title!” said Marge.

“Oooooh! Can I read it?” said Lisa.

“Sure.” Marge showed her.

Lisa cried.

They then did their nails, ate ice cream and watched sad pony films.

“You know your girls only day doesn’t work if you include all the male fanon characters in my Episodes...” said Oscar including himself, Hugo, Eric and Tiny Tim.

Marge and Lisa rolled their eyes.

...

In a desert area with lots of cacti. Dr Zanda was coaching Bart to guide a blindfolded Homer through the cacti. Bart decided instead to guide Homer into the cacti.

“Forward three steps.” said Bart.

Homer screamed as he collided with a cactus.

“Bart were you listening to what I was explaining to you?!” Dr Zander was getting annoyed with Bart.

“Yes but I can’t count...” said Bart. He kept guiding Homer into the cacti.

Meanwhile some cacti were singing “if there’s a bigger bite it can’t be found!” From the wagon wheels biscuit advert. Oscar promptly shot the gay singing cacti with a powerful shotgun.

“Hey! That’s a felony in Arizona!” Dr Zander yelled at Oscar.

“I’m not in Arizona...” said Oscar.

Teddy, Oscar’s living teddy bear sniffed a cactus and yelped as he got prickled and got spines stuck on his big wet shiny black nose.

“Hehehe! Cactus butt!” Oscar teased him and giggled.

Then Mowgli from Disney’s Jungle Book tried to pick a cactus pear from a prickly pear cactus. He yelped as it prickled him.

“Ow!”

Baloo while singing Bear Necessities explained how to pick cactus pears. “When you pick the paw paw, don’t use your paw you use your claw!” Baloo using his sharp claws picked several cactus pears and other fruits and ate them in one gulp.

Teddy unsheathed his razor sharp claws and smirked deviously as he used them to pick cactus pears and ate them. Then he spat the spines at Oscar.

Oscar yelped as the spines lodged in his butt cheeks.

...

The next therapy session was for Homer to confront his fears. He was shown visions of Abdul-Jabbar, Joseph Jackson, Wilbur Meechum, Precious’s mother and Bart as a boxer from the boxing video game they used to play in Moaning Lisa. Oh and Darth Vader.

Homer screamed.

Bart turned up the dial on the hologram chamber. The dial was the setting of how frightening the visions were. Bart turned it up to a higher setting...

Homer screamed even more.

“Bart!” Dr Zander yelled.

...

Marge and Lisa did more girly things like sewing a new Bouvier heirloom blanket. Or watching R rated dramas.

Oscar, Hugo, Baby Eric and Tiny Tim held a belching competition.

Oscar belched a loud belch. Eric’s was a small high pitched burp. Hugo’s was especially impressive.

“Uuuuuuuuurp!” Hugo burping.

The boys cheered.

Marge and Lisa sighed.

...

The last test was Homer being hung from a tree.

“Is this a great idea?” Homer asked.

“Yes Homer you have nothing to fear as long as Bart- Oscar! Take off that offensive outfit!” Dr Zander yelled because Oscar transporting himself to Bart and Homer’s location had dressed himself as a Ku Klux Klan member...

“As I was saying Homer, you have nothing to fear. Bart will save you by cutting the rope with the scissors.” said Dr Zander.

“I don’t know...” said Homer removing his noose.

“Homer! Put that noose back round your neck now!” Dr Zander yelled.

Homer complied.

“Now jump!” said Dr Zander.

Homer did so.

He was choking from the noose.

“Bart what are you doing?! Save your dad!” Bart was playing a Gameboy.

“Hang on...” said Bart as the Gameboy bleeped and blooped.

“Bart don’t you feel anything for your father?!” Zander asked.

“Sure! Uuuuuuuurp!” Bart belched. “That!”

Dr Zander snapped. “Why you little!” And strangled Bart. “Grrrrrr! His neck is so tough!”

“Ya see what I have to live with?” said Homer choking.

“We’ll talk later when he’s dead!” Dr Zander yelled. “Come on! Let me hear those bones snap!”

Oscar grabbed the scissors and cut Homer’s rope freeing him.

Homer rescued Bart.

“Our class is over Zander! We’re Suing you!” said Homer.

“Why?!” Dr Zander asked.

“For trying to kill me!” Bart gasped trying to breath again.

“I only have a hollowed out tree I live in!” said Dr Zander.

...

Bart and Homer had made a den in a hollowed out tree. Homer had a beer can and Bart had a can of Buzz Cola.

Then they had a heartwarming make up talk where they apologised for their behaviour that story/episode and lived happily ever after!

The End!

Advertisement