Simpsons Fanon

Little Orphan Millie Milhouse’s parents get back together, again... and get remarried. But then they go missing! Also I garnish funny lines by taking gags way too far...


The chalkboard gag is “There is no such thing as an Ipoddy.” Bart laughs and runs off to skateboard off home.

The couch gag is a magazine with the title “Modern Couch gags.”

The episode starts with the Simpsons having a picnic with the Van Houtens. Suddenly a bee lands on Maggie.

“A bee landed on Maggie! Do something Homer!” Marge gasped.

“Okay Maggie just calmly and carefully walk away, no one make a sound...” said Homer.

“BEEEEEES!” Teddy, Oscar’s teddy bear screamed at the bee.

“No!” Homer yelled as the bee flew away in panic. Homer trying to avoid getting stung got his head in a beehive! “Aaaaagh! Beehive!” Then he fell in a blueberry bush. “Blueberries!” He wiped some off of himself. Then he wrapped himself in the green picnic blanket. “Hmmmmmm! Hmmmmmmm!” He made Marge noises.

“Homer! How many times do I have to tell you not to mock me at picnics!” Marge told him off.

“Uh attention everyone.” said Luanne tapping her wine glass.

“Uh Luanne and I have a big announcement to make.” said Kirk.

“Is it that you’re brother and sister? Because you really look alike...” said Bart smirking.

“No...” said Luanne and Kirk.

“Half brother and half sister?” Bart asked.


“Siamese twins that have been surgically separated?” Bart asked being silly.

“Ooooooh!” said Hugo suddenly interested. He grinned a big cheesy grin showing off his missing teeth.

“No Hugh! Forget I said that!” Bart suddenly realised he got his brother obsessed again with Siamese twins.

“No....” said Kirk and Luanne annoyed by Bart’s silly questions.

“We’re getting back together. For real this time.” said Luanne.

“And how long to the next argument...” said Homer squinting.

“Oh we mean it this time! Last time at Maggie’s pox party we were just so drunk and I was on the rebound from Pyro it was going to end badly once we sobered up!” said Luanne. “But this time I mean it! We’re getting remarried!”

“Oooooh! Congratulations!” said Marge.

“Oh raspberries... no more second Christmas for me... I’ll just have to find another friend with divorced parents to leech off of...” said Bart sighing.


At home the Simpsons are getting ready for the wedding.

“Homer hurry up and pick a tie...” said Marge as she got ready.

“But I can’t make up my mind! Do I choose the piano one or the Ten Commandments of beer? Mmmmmmm... the foretold tenants of the Brewish faith...” said Homer.

Krusty glared at Homer from around the bedroom door way. “Hmmmmph!”

“How about one that matches the colour of my eyes?” asked Marge.

“And what colour might they be...?” Homer asked as he didn’t know.

“You don’t know the colour of your wife’s eyes?!” said Marge.

“Um... white sclera and black dots for pupils...” said Homer.

“Oooooooh! That’s cheating! Of course our eyes all look identical” Marge sulked.

She went off to Bart’s room.

She was still angrily debating with Homer she know the colour of her irises while she combed Bart’s spikes.

“You must look people in the eyes when they talk to you!” said Marge finishing combing Bart’s hair she sent him off to relax and called Hugo over to comb his spikes.

Meanwhile Teddy was delousing Oscar’s hair when he sniffed something with his big wet shiny black nose. “Ugh do you need changing?” Teddy asked. He pulled back open the back of Oscar’s diaper. There was a live beehive of angry bees in there somehow.

“Beeeeeeeeeees!” Teddy screamed and grabbed the beehive and shoved it in Hugo’s ejection tube for getting rid of things quickly. “Now if we could just work on your behaviour...” said Teddy.

“Awwwww! My bees!” Oscar whined.

Eventually everyone was ready and the Wedding was to be held at a beach. Yes a beach.

“Ooooh, you could have at least let us pack our swimming trunks Mom...” said Bart.

“No swimming! This is a wedding!” said Marge.

“I’m wearing mine...” said Oscar.

“Hmmmmmm!” Marge was annoyed.


At the beach wedding everyone sat down.

“And remember everyone. No kicking the sea turtles....” said Reverend Lovejoy.

Oscar kicked a sea turtle into a Mario block with eyes. It turned into a used block and a distinctive sound heralded the arrival of a super mushroom.

“Oz no!” Bart whined.

“That mushroom looks pretty poisonous. You shouldn’t eat it...” said Lisa.

“It’s a super mushroom. It just makes you big. (Oscar eats the mushroom and grows really, really big.) like so!” said giant Oscar.

Lovejoy read out the chosen vows.

Kirk and Luanne said I Do. So they were married.

“I now pronounce you man and wife, again... now for a choir song on special request from Bart Simpson.”

Bart took to the stage in a choir robe.

The lion sleeps tonight started playing.

“Awimba way, awimba way, awimba way! Awimba way...” backing singers sung.

“Ooooooooeeeeooooooo oooo ooooh! Oooooooeeeeeoooo ooooh! (Swahili singing.)” sung Milhouse

“In the jungle the mighty jungle! The lion sleeps toniiiiiight!” Bart sung.

“Oooooh... He sings like an angel....” Marge said proudly.

“So pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassseeees settle for Seymour! So pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassseee return to the dork!” Bart sung a high note.

Marge sighed as he was being silly with the lyrics again.

Luanne found the choice of song weird...

“Well at least our friends’ son found a productive hobby...” said Kirk.


The wedding got late.

“Okay people, I’m sorry but I must ask you to depart because the seagulls are eating the buffet...” said Reverend Lovejoy.

Seagulls were squawking at the buffet and trying to eat it.

“No! Keep away! This is mostly seagull meat!” said a french guy trying to shoo them away.

“Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!” Oscar and his friend Irreep squawked repeatedly. They were quoting the seagulls from Finding Nemo.

Bart sweat dropped.


In the carpool home Marge, Helen, Bernice, Maude’s ghost, Agnes argues who should hold the after party.

“(Marge et al arguing quite violently.)”

“Ladies please... we all know my wife won’t back down until she gets her own way...” said Homer.

“Hmmmph! said Marge stubbornly. They decided that this argument would never end so let her hold the party. They’d Facebook it if it went horribly wrong later.

Of course this meant Marge had to quickly prepare food for the party.

“Ham, check. Enough glaze to make it blindingly bright as the sun... check. Industrial welding goggles. On eyes... check.” Oscar put a pair of welding goggles over his eyes to protect them from the blindingly brightly glazed ham.

Marge sighed as she glazed the ham.

“Instead of criticising my cooking skills Oscar, help put the clean toilet seats from the dishwasher onto the toilets.

Oscar was confused by the four toilet lids. “Why do you have four pairs of lids and only three toilets...”

“One is for Hugo’s toilet in the attic...” said Homer eyeing the finger sized sandwiches.

“Homer keep away from the sandwiches!” said Marge.

“Ooooooh!” Homer groaned.


That night after the party.

Milhouse was sleeping over at Bart’s because his parents were going on their honeymoon for a week.

“See you in a week Milhouse! Have fun at the Simpsons!” said Luanne. “If you don’t like a Marge’s cooking you have your mommy meals!”

“Yes Mom!” Milhouse had stacks of Tupperware containers with food in them.

“Oooooooh! Why does every kid with us bring mommy meals?! So I put pineapple in my potato salad! Live a little!” said Marge.

“Marge, you diabolical! You must give me the recipe!” said Satan admiring her potato salad recipe. He was also clearly drunk.

Bart made a hand signal demanding Mom get rid of Satan now!

Later that night, Bart and Milhouse slept until the living room. Homer read them a bedtime story and turned out the fire and went upstairs.

“And that’s why, to this day, you never see a shark with monkey arms! The end!” said Homer. “Goodnight!” He turned off the fireplace by the gas key.

“And no watching TV all night! I’ve got an early start tomorrow!” said Homer.

As soon as he was long gone upstairs Bart put the TV on.

“Grrrrrr! I don’t stick out my neck for no one Frankenstein! Grrrrr!” said a man.

Bart frowned and changed the channel.

“So what is your diagnosis Dr Boswell?” asked a male voice.

“I wish you could all live inside me, forever...” said a creepy male voice. “Sexually...”

Bart screamed and changed the channel.

Batman music played.

“Ah... the old Batman show...” said Bart.

Eventually Bart turned the TV off and went to sleep.

“Now my parents are back together, things are gonna be perfect! I can’t wait till tomorrow!” said Milhouse. He dreamed of himself sat in a chair by an alarm clock counting down till tomorrow.


The next day, Bart and Milhouse were playing in the backyard pranking Lisa and her friends.

Bart was playing with a tank when he found an animal hole. Possibly a nest or burrow. “Coooool! An animal hole!”

“Where’s it go?” Milhouse asked.

“Only one way to find out!” said Bart. He stuck the hose down the hole and turned it on.

Lisa was a short distance away near the swings having a picnic with her dolls and teddy bears. And Janey of course.

Suddenly water erupted from underneath shooting up in a geyser along with tarantulas raining down on the girls.

“Aaaaaagh! Tarantulas!” Lisa screamed. “I’ll save you baby burps a lot!” she said to a doll that burps. The doll burped up spiders. “Aaaaaagh! Spider burps!”

Bart and Milhouse laughed hysterically.

Plot 2[]

Homer’s pink car was driving somewhere on a desert road.

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” The Simpson kids asked repeatedly.

“NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!” Homer screamed.

“Where are we going again?” Oscar asked.

“I told you! A place far away...” said Homer.

“That isn’t a location that’s a suggestion based on how you packed only my things you’re dumping me...” said Oscar.

“Now that’s silly! Why would we?” Homer paused. “He suspects something dump him at the next cow skeleton....”

“Look there is actually a place called A place far away. We’re coming up to it now!” said Bart. There was a sign saying “You are now entering A Place Far Away.”

“Okay we’re here! This is where you live now you cute but annoying squirt. Marge detach the tow cart...” said Homer dumping Oscar along with a suitcase of his things.

A tow truck containing Tyrannosaurus Sex, Justin Timberwolf, Gamblor, Hoju the homosexual Jew and other random and annoying characters was dumped too. The Simpsons then drove off.

“They dumped me!” Oscar gasped. “Oh well, who needs them... I can form my own town!”

Oscar gathered up the citizens of A place Far Away. Namely Mr Snrub and Guy Incognito.

Meanwhile Kirk and Luanne were on a cruise.

“And this time, I’ll carry you over the threshold!” said Kirk.

“Ooooh! Kirk! You really have changed for the better!” said Luanne.

“Yep! I took little Lisa’s advice and sued my boss at the cracker factory for unfair dismal when he fired me after our divorce because apparently he only wanted his crackers to be made by married men.” said Kirk. “Now I own the factory and he’s the deadbeat bachelor!”

“I can hire who I want!” yelled his ex boss as a cleaner swabbing the deck.

The happy couple went back to their cabin not realising disaster would soon strike...

At the Simpsons The Simpsons were trying to get back to normal without Oscar. But the doorbell rang.

They answered it.

“I’m baaaaaack!” Oscar yelled like Cousin Kyle.

The Simpsons screamed in horror.


Meanwhile on Kirk and Luanne’s cruise on a particular famous ship. Jack and Rose were at the stern with Jack carrying Rose with her arms outstretched.

“Near... faaaaaar... Whereever you areeeeee... I believe that the heart will go on and on...” rose sung.

“Hey get off of the stern! It’s not safe up there!” yelled Squeaky Voiced Teen as a crew member.

Meanwhile at dinner.

“Rose will marry me!!” Caledon screamed furiously as he flipped a dining table during the banquet. He was insistent that his cousin was made to agree to their arranged marriage. “All hearts return to darkness!!” He became Ansem, because Billy Zane was in titanic and the voice of Ansem. That’s just awesome!

That’s not all! Van Pelt was trying to find Alan Parrish because Bruce Ismay is played by Johnathan Hyde! XD!

“Face me like a man Parrish!” Van Pelt yelled carrying an old fashioned elephant gun.

“That is how you interpreted Titanic?!” said Bart winced as action returns to the Simpsons.

“That’s how the movie should have been. I mean, Ansem and Van Pelt on the same boat! That is so cooool!” said Oscar.

“They’re allowed to be other characters!! Billy Zane is not Ansem all the time!” Bart yelled.

“Fine! You’re boring! I’m gonna ask Hugo if he can make sharks with monkey arms!” Oscar yelled storming off.

In the attic.

“No. I am not making sharks with monkey arms!” said Hugo. “And not because I can’t. Because I can. It’s just that I don’t want to do something so freakishly weird! That’s even more insane than sharks with lasers on their heads or ill tempered mutant sea bass!”


However on the cruise disaster truck as Kirk and Luanne were knocked off of the ship.

“Well those people are more fortunate than us I guess...” said Kirk. Their cruise ship crashed into an iceberg and sank.

At the Simpsons Milhouse received sad news that his parents were lost at sea.

“We say lost, but we’re not paying the man power to find them so they may as well be dead.” said a sailor.

Marge was annoyed at him. “Don’t worry Milhouse you can live with us.”

“Marge! We don’t have the room!” Homer whined.

Milhouse in his depression from losing his mom and dad drank from Maggie’s baby bottle.

“Oh my god! I’m drinking from a baba bottle! Big boys get their moo moo from a big boy cup!” said Milhouse.

“Hehehe! I’m showing this to Bart! Diaper baby!” Oscar teased him as he drank from Maggie’s milk bottle.

However Bart did not find that funny. In fact he felt very bad for his friend Milhouse.

Bart watched wistfully and sad for Milhouse as he got more and more depressed.

Then at school.

At recess Nelson was about to pick on Milhouse.

“Hey four eyes! I heard your mom and dad are dead!” said Nelson.

But Milhouse was so miserable and depressed he didn’t care. Nelson not wanting to beat up someone who had nothing more to lose and felt in the same situation with his runaway Dad and embarrassing mother befriended Milhouse.

“Milhouse is no longer a dweeb because he’s my friend!” Nelson explained to everyone.

Bart face palmed.

Much to his annoyance everyone was more interested in Milhouse out of sympathy for him.

Bart even tried putting on his backpack on back to front and crumping.

“Look! I’m wearing my back on wrong and crumping!” said Bart crumping.

“There is a time and a place. And this is not it...” said Nelson.

The bus left Bart at his house that afternoon after school finished and Bart cried over his jealousy of a Milhouse.

“I’ll crump with you sweetie!” said Marge crumping and dancing.

“Uh no!” Bart ran of embarrassed by Marge’s crumping.


One day in his room. Bart was reading graphs. “Ah now more people are mad about Milhouse than those batty about Bart!” He whined reading a graph with two bars. Mad about Milhouse and Barty about Bart. The Milhouse bar was longer so more people liked him.

“There must be something I can do... People are sympathetic because he lost his parents and has nothing... But... if I found him a loving family member...” said Bart. “Eureka! Every Christmas Milhouse gets Danish cookies from uh... come on Brain! Solvang California! From... Ugh! (Bart hits himself to think) His Uncle Norbert!”

Bart single handily took himself to an airport where Danish people in a wooden cabin plane arrived. Mmmmmm Danish houses...

“Okay Norbert... Norbert...” Bart watched people get off. “Nope Nope... come on...” then he saw a right geek with stupid glasses and a pudding bowl hair cut get off. Bart laughed. “Oh that is definitely a Norbert!”

“Oh I wish! My name is Gaylord Q Tinkledink.” said the nerd.

Bart grimaced.

“Ah Bart Simpson! Are you looking for a Norbert Van Houten?” said a gruff voice.

Bart gasped when he saw a really cool Indiana Jones looking guy.

“You’re Milhouse’s Uncle Norbert?” Bart asked.

“Yes. I am from the Danish Van Houtens. Not those Damn Dutch Van Houtens like my brother Kirk!” said Norbert. “Here have a Danish cookie.” He gave Bart a Danish cookie.

“So my nephew needs some love? Imma coming Milhouse!” said Norbert.

“I’m looking for my nephew too!” said Gaylord Q Tinkledink. “His name is Nerdletaub Z Pantybottom!” XD!

Norbert punched Gaylord Q Tinkledink concussing him.

“Wow... could you be my uncle?” Bart asked.

“No.” said Norbert.


Meanwhile to fill pages, Oscar was experimenting with a machine in Hugo’s attic laboratory to make sharks with monkey arms. Hugo arrived annoyed to find Oscar touching things.

“Oscar! What have I told you?! Don’t touch my things!” Hugo was slightly cross with him.

“But I want Sharks with monkey arms!” Oscar yelled.

“No! No sharks with monkey arms!” Hugo yelled.

Elsewhere at school Milhouse took to wearing black jackets, standing under trees depressed and aloof and chewing white candy sticks pretending he was smoking. Everyone thought this was cool. Now he needs to flip a dime.

“Nelson got a spare dime?” Milhouse asked aloof.

“Sure!” Nelson gave him a dime. He flipped it up and down catching it and tossing it. Okay now he’s cool...

“Milhouse... I have someone who wants to see you...” Bart arrived with Uncle Norbert.

“Uncle Norbert!” Milhouse hugged his uncle.

“I heard about your Mother and Father. I am so sorry Milhouse! Oh look at me getting all choked up! But I am here for you now Milhouse!” said Uncle Norbert.

“Awwwwwww! Everyone cooed.

“Uncle Norbert? Can you whip lasso me like Indiana Jones did to Willie Scott at the end of Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom?” asked Milhouse.

“Sure. Anything for you my boy...” said Uncle Norbert. He cracked his whip and it entangled around Milhouse yanking him towards Norbert.

“Hyeeeeerk!” Milhouse gasped as he was yanked.

“Oooooooh!” Everyone gasped in fascination and clapped a round of applause. Bart face palmed annoyed.

“Uncle Norbert can you use your whip to lasso me a banana...?” Milhouse asked his uncle.

“What the?! Milhouse that is the most ridiculous thing I- Why would you think that is possible?!” Norbert asked flabbergasted.

“He asks Buck McCoy that all the time...” Bart sighed...

“Anyhoo, I am needed in Tanis, Egypt to find the Ark of the Covenant! Come along Milhouse we must leave immediately! I’ll stop over at the Simpsons to get your things.

Milhouse and Uncle Norbert left to everyone cheering.

“He’s sad, but I can save him!” Nelson cried happily.

Bart growled and stormed off.


However Kirk and Luanne Van Houten were not dead. They were stranded on a desert island wearing rags and making a makeshift shelter.

“Cool! Like Robinson Crusoe! Or Cast Away starring Tom Hanks!” said Oscar on the island for some reason.

“Wilson! Wilsooooooon!” Kirk cried at a volleyball with a red hand painted on it and a face.

“Kirk stop screaming at that Volleyball and cut a hole in it so you can use it as a urinal!” Luanne nagged.

“Or... The Sims Cast Away.” said Oscar.

There was footage of the Sims Cast Away on the Wii. A Sim with a green diamond on his head was screaming in Simlish at a volleyball while another Sim was eating and another was building shelter.

“Uh... Okay...” said Kirk to Oscar because of his weirdness.


Bart was in his room depressed, he contemplates copying Milhouse doesn’t live here anymore with a part two and reunite his friendship with Lisa.

But Capitol City bullies that Milhouse was once friends with arrive and pants him.

“Springfield baby! Springfield baby! Springfield baby!” They point and chant at him.

“Springfield baby in a diaper! Poked his eye out with a windshield wiper!” said a blond kid with ripped clothes.

“Springfield baby! Springfield baby! Springfield baby!”

Bart sighed.

On the island Oscar was making a campfire by scraping two rocks together to creat sparks.

“I remember that flash animation game where Bart gets marooned on a desert island.” said Oscar.

In the Bart Simpson on an island flash game featuring Wilson!! and other cameos. Oscar kept killing Bart by walking him into the Quicksand.

“Oz why do you like the quicksand death so much...” Bart asked him as they played the Bart Simpson flash animation game.

“Mmmmmmm! Quicksand...” Oscar moaned pervertedly.

Plot 3[]

The school held an assembly for Milhouse leaving with his uncle.

“Our school has lost its coolest student Milhouse Van Houten. But at least we have third grade gym teacher Mr Johnson.

A gruff male gym teacher got up.

“Rope climbing skills are important!” said Mr Johnson.

We cut to Mr Johnson yelling at Oscar as he tries to climb a rope in gym class.

“Come on Tamaki! Climb that rope!” Mr Johnson yelled.

Oscar struggles to climb the rope.