Lisaitis

Lisaitis At the mall one Sunday afternoon after church Homer makes Lisa go in the freezer to get some novelty flavoured ice cream. However she contracts a cold forcing her to miss school!

Then Lisa starts sneezing on everything!

Then she encounters a snot monster that oozes out of her nose!

Plot

The Simpsons and Oscar are driving home from church. Bart is really hungry so Homer decides to stop at the mall to raid their free samples.

"Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communal wafers?" Bart asked.

"No! Four children is enough!" Marge replied in a cross tone. "And I only intended to have three! I didn't know I was gonna have twins when you and Hugo were born!"

"I'll sort out our lunch!" said Homer, he drove them to a supermarket.

At the store Homer grabs some meat lollipop free samples and gives everyone one each. Well almost everyone. Then he instructs everyone to raid the free samples and they split up to do so. Marge isn't very happy.

"We always do this every time we come here. I feel so bad that we never buy anything..." Marge sighed.

Upon receiving her meat lollipop Lisa gagged.

"Oh I forgot... Lisa's a vegetarian now..." Homer sighed.

"Hugo, you can have it." Lisa gave Hugo her meat lollipop. He eagerly ate it.

After they split up...

Lisa saw a vegetarian section selling blocks of cud. She took one glad to find something vegetarian and ate it. It tasted squishy and wet.

Meanwhile Bart was trying chocolate fudge brownies. However the lady at the free sample stall was rude to him.

"If you're gonna get snippy, I'll take my services elsewhere..." said Bart as he took some brownies.

Oscar had something to show him. "Look in the cereal aisle!" said Oscar directing him to the cereal aisle. "It's that kid we saw at Try N Save buying a copy of Bonestorm!"

The spoilt kid's mom was buying him some cereal. He didn't like any of them.

"I wouldn't normally admit it, but he sure is rude to his mom..." Bart remarked.

Elsewhere Homer decided that any food with a cocktail stick in it was a free sample. He used this to his advantage to take a hot poussin from the cooked chicken aisle. Mmmm store cooked chicken...

"Homer!" Marge scolded him for stealing.

...

Homer then went to buy some ice cream. There were some Ben & Jerry inspired novelty flavoured ones. However he didn't like the ones at the front. He needed some way of getting to the ones right at the back. When Lisa went to collect him he had an idea.

Homer was now pushing Lisa into the freezer to get the ice creams at the back. However he didn't like any of the flavours she found. Lisa was starting to get cold.

Suddenly Marge saw what he was doing. "Homer! Get her out of there!" Marge yelled. When Homer took Lisa out of the freezer she was pale and shivering.

"Oh my Lord! We better get you home right away!" Marge gasped.

...

At home, Lisa soon developed a cold and was unwell. Marge was concerned and decided she would have to miss school.

"But Mom!" Lisa protested.

"But nothing! Lisa you need plenty of rest, you're not very well!" Marge explained.

Lisa sighed.

The following morning she was watching a nature programme about the seaweed eating shark. Marge didn't approve.

"Hmmmm! You're working your brain too hard!" said Marge. "How about you relax and play one of Bart's video games. Apparently they're The latest trend!" Marge put a black games console on Lisa's bed.

"Fine..." Lisa sighed. She put in a game that wasn't gory. Dash Dingo. "Ugh!" she groaned. It was a ripoff of Crash Bandicoot. The main character was being tormented by a giant Australian man's head.

"Foolish dingo! You must find and devour the seven crystal babies or spend an eternity in deep didgeridoo forever! Bwahahahaha!" said the Australian man. I assume he's supposed to be Dr Neo Cortex.

"I'm so scared..." Lisa said sarcastically.

She was then playing the game. The level involved exploring a temple. Lisa found a glowing pot and wanted to see what was inside. However koala ninjas bursted out and pummelled Dash to death with nunchucks.

"Nunchucks?! They're not Australian!" Lisa groaned. The game made the death march tune. "Oh I lost life... fine... this game sucked anyway..."

...

Soon Bart, Hugo and Oscar came home.

"Hey, Lisa can I have my games console back?" Bart asked.

"Sure, knock yourself out..." Lisa groaned as Bart took his console.

"Do your homework first!" Marge called from somewhere.

"Ugh! Fine..." Bart groaned. "Oscar get out your algebra homework..."

Later after homework Bart was playing Dash Dingo.

"I am four power wands away from the anti gravity lawsuit!" said Bart as he played Dash Dingo in his pyjamas as it was late. "Hope I don't run into that weird little troll..." suddenly Ralph was in his face. "Gaaaaah!"

"Hi Bart! Where's Lisa? I have her homework!" said Ralph.

"Ah! Pause! Pause!" Bart tried to pause the game.

"Ralph... it's late! Why are you here? And how?!" Lisa asked yawning and rubbing her eyes.

"Mommy and Daddy sleep like chopped up trees!" said Ralph.

"Logs Ralph..." said Bart playing his video game.

"Anyway, here's Ms Hoover's homework! We have to read Wind and the Willows! It's about a frog and a badger and a mole... I drawed on mine!" said Ralph handing Lisa a copy of Wind and the Willows. He showed his copy which he had scribbled stick men on.

"Thanks Ralph, now go home." said Lisa.

"This isn't my house?" Ralph asked.

"No you live in a different house." said Lisa.

Ralph pretended he was a train and went choo chop out of Bart's room and off somewhere.

"I can't believe I used to go out with him..." said Lisa. "Well goodnight Bart."

Bart got a game over.

"Now I rule the down underverse! Bwahahahaha!" said the Australian guy villain.

"We'll just see about that!" Bart said as he started playing again.

...

Eventually Lisa insisted on going back to school. However she kept sneezing on everything including on of her assignments when she handed it in.

"Ugh!" said Miss Hoover taking in the snotty homework.

Lisa was invited to the school quiz. Marge was worried about her health so she gave Lisa some cough medicine.

"But Mom I don't want to go on some dumb quiz show to prove how smart I am! That's like me asking for a new brain!" said Lisa.

Bart suddenly had an idea to annoy her. He ran in the kitchen and came back with a large floret of cauliflower. "I've got you a new brain Lis! It's not much but it's a lot less squishy than that scary one you have in your head!" said Bart.

"Bart!" Lisa yelled at him.

"Bartholomew J Simpson, stop playing with our food!" Marge confiscated the cauliflower floret.

"But Mom, I wasn't playing, I was taunting..." said Bart.

Marge hrrrrmmmmmed.

At dinner Bart continued taunting Lisa.

"Alright! I'll go on that stupid Quiz!" Lisa yelled.

...

Lisa was signed up to the quiz but sneezed on the registration forms getting snot on them! Yeeeuck!

"I'm so sorry!" said Lisa.

"Eeeech! No matter, nothing a few lozenges and a mop can't solve." said the lady at the registeration desk.

Lisa met her school friends who were also competing such as Ralph, Martin and Nelson. Nelson's Dad was nearly choking him trying to do his tie up tight.

"And that's how you do a Windsor knot son." said Nelson's Dad.

"But Ack! Dad! Eeeeeck! I can't breath!" Nelson couldn't breath because his tie was too tight.

Lisa flew through all the rounds even beating Martin who misspelt something.

However on the last question she was stuck and couldn't figure out the answer. Suddenly she sneezed very hard. She stood there and sniffed as snot oozed down over her upper lip. Yeeeuck!

"Congratulations! That was the right answer!" said Skinner. Apparently the answer was a sneezing sound...

"Ugh! That was disgusting!" Bart groaned.

"Eeeew!" Oscar groaned.

Lisa sighed and wiped her nose clean with a tissue.

She then celebrated with her family.

"Lisa I'm so proud of you!" said Marge.

"Wow that felt like a breeze." said Lisa with a stuffy nose.

"Yeah the only breeze came from your nose..." said Bart.

"Yeeeeuck! That was disgusting!" Oscar groaned.

...

At home Bart as Dr Bart determined Lisa was in the infectious stage of a cold called the "da choos" because of the sneezing. He then explained a sentient snot monster occasionally visited kids with colds. However Lisa didn't believe him.

"Grow up..." Lisa groaned as she went to her room.

That night Lisa felt terrible. She sneezed again. However this time Meuka oozed out of her nose. The laughing snot monster was a round oozing rodent like creature with a really long slimy tail that was oozing from Lisa's nose. Lisa screamed.

Meuka laughed and oozed out of the room on his tail as Marge cane in.

"Uh, we should probably ignore that..." Marge grimaced.

...

The next day Bart as Dr Bart was being silly again insisting Lisa's butt needed to be amputated because she had a rubber butt.

Bart took off his doctor's coat and started singing a silly song.

"Lisa is a nut. She has a rubber butt! And when she turns around, it goes putt putt!" Bart sang while gesturing his butt.

"Bart grow up..." Lisa groaned as she had a headache from her cold.

"I think we should do another scene with that cartoon snot monster." said Oscar.

That night Lisa was in bed sneezing. She sneezed very hard and sneezed Meuka out of her nose again. He was bigger than last time. She yelped as he wrapped her up with his slimy tail. He laughed evilly.

"Ugh! What do you want?! Shouldn't you be pestering Bart? I bet he'd love to meet a gross slime wad like you!" Lisa grunted as she struggled.

Meuka growled and made non verbal noises like Tasmanian devil gibberish while spitting slime everywhere.

Lisa gulped wondering what he was going to do with her.

...

The next day Lisa demanded she be allowed to go to school despite her cold getting bad again. Anything not to be at home alone with that slime wad. She went in pot a test she was unable to study for because of her illness. She then worried about what would happen if she failed.

In the future. "And Lisa Simpson, you get to go to Brown!" said Skinner.

"Oh no! Not Brown!" Lisa lamented.

Her daydream ended with her saying not Brown! repeatedly.

"Lisa are you alright? You've been saying not Brown a lot." said Miss Hoover.

"Yes, I just have a slight headache." said Lisa.

"Oh go and get yourself a drink of water and some rest. Then come back and do the test." said Miss Hoover.

"D'oh!" said Lisa.