Lisa the Vegetarian The Simpsons go to a petting zoo at Old Mother Goose's fairytale park, but Lisa finds a really cute lamb that she can no longer eat meat!
Plot[]
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” said the Simpsons kids repeatedly.
“No.” said Homer bored.
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” The kids continue in rhythm.
”No...”
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
”No! No! No!” Homer head butted the steering wheel.
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
“NO! NOW SHUT UUUUP!” Homer screamed.
The Simpsons go to a fairytale themed park and petting zoo because Maggie gets to choose their day out this time. However Bart is extremely bored by the choice and the car is cramped because Grampa was with them.
“Where are we going again?” Grampa asked.
“Old Mother Goose’s Fairytale village.” said Marge.
“It’s a theme park for babies...” Bart sighed.
”Goo!” Oscar babbled having turned himself into a baby.
“Now Bart I’m sure it’s fun for everyone from eight to goodness knows how old...” said Marge.
“I’m eighty three woman!” said Abe annoyed.
They arrived. The sign said the park was really recommended for children under five. Marge sighed.
”Ne I think it’s nice we’re doing something Maggie wants to do for a change...” said Marge as they get out of the car.
Grampa wants to sleep in the car so they leave him.
“That’s the plan!” said Homer.
They look at the animatronic characters for example the three little pigs and the big bad wolf.
“Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me in!”
“Not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins! We won’t let you in!”
“What a load of crappy crap crap!” Bart groaned bored.
“Quiet boy. I have a feeling something bad is about to go down...” said Homer.
“This is where the wolf tries to blow down the house!” said Marge.
“Oh he blows alright. He blows...” Bart sighed.
“That’s the spirit!” Marge said to him cheering him on.
The wolf animatronic blew the house weakly and it tilted slightly. Everyone clapped half heartedly.
“Meh.... It was good but...” Homer commented.
Then Goldilocks and the three bears. However Grampa is sleeping in Baby bear's bed.
“Somebody touched my Spaghett!” Papa bear made a reference to the Three Bears Spaghett meme.
“Uh?” asked Bart.
“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear but her voice was garbled and Scratchy as the animatronic malfunctioned.
“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Baby bear.
"Well, I'm sorry! It was 180 degrees in the car and the radio was lousy!' Grampa replies to the animatronic.
“Grampa...” the Simpsons sighed.
...
Bart then sneaks on a train ride he is too tall for. The irony! However he gets stuck at the tunnel and dislodges the prop causes a catastrophic crash that causes the woodsman from Little Red Riding Hood to decapitate a model of Old Mother Goose. The children all cheer.
The Simpsons then go to the petting zoo. Homer tries to get the goat to eat a can.
"Come on! Eat the can!"
"Homer! They have pellets to feed them with!" Marge puts some money to buy some, but the machine spills out all the pellets over Maggie. The hungry animals then suddenly crowd round her and eat every scrap leaving her pacifier...
However Maggie reveals she was hiding in the goat's fur and reunites with Marge.
Then they admire the cute sheep. The sheep get progressively cuter resulting in bigger "Aaaaaaaaawwwww!"s from them.
The second sheep stood in front of the pink lamb wanting attention.
”Out of the way loser!” Homer shoved it aside.
(Bleating)
”Daaaaad!” Lisa whined.
”D’aaaaaaawwww!” They cooed at the pink lamb.
They then each pet the animals until Mother Goose/The park speaker announces their car has been broken into.
”D’oh! We better find Oscar. Oz? Oz... where has that boy got to?” Homer asked.
Bart was mortified by something, “Over there Dad....”
Oscar was playing with baby chicks.
”Haaaawwwww! Chicky chickies!” Oscar squealed.
...
Soon they head home and have dinner and have lamb chops. However Lisa can't eat hers as it reminds her of the lamb at the petting zoo.
"What's wrong Lisa?" Marge asks.
"I can't eat this! It's lamb!" Lisa explained.
"It's lamb, it's not from a lamb..." Homer sighed.
"What about beef?" Marge asked.
"No!" Lisa gasped.
"Chicken?"
"Nuh uh!"
"Hotdogs?" Lisa imagines that hotdogs are apparently made of skunks, Wellington boots and tyres...
"I can't eat any animal!" Lisa gasped.
"She must be turning vegetarian." Oscar explained.
"Oh great... now you have something else for people to tease you about..." Bart sighed.
"Bart!" Marge yelled at Bart. "Lisa, listen carefully... Are you seriously saying you might be becoming vegetarian?" Marge asked.
"I don't know! I just can't eat any animal! It feels wrong to me!" Lisa cried.
"Ok sweetie, no more meat for you." Marge replied.
"So no bacon?" Homer asked. "You used to love bacon!"
"No!" Lisa replied exasperated he was still questioning her.
"Ham?"
"No!"
"Pork?"
"Dad! Those are from the same animal!" Lisa explained.
"Oooooh! A magical animal that produces ham, bacon and pork!" Homer says sarcastically.
"Well, I don't have any problem eating meat! Nom!" Bart rudely bites into his pork chop.
"Bart! Don't eat like that!" Marge scolds him.
"Oy vay! I haven't had such an embarrassing meal since I had a steak dinner with Yami Bakura..." Oscar sighed. The scene cuts to Yami Bakura brutally tearing apart a rare, bloody steak in the restaurant lounge on Kaiba's blimp.
...
At School, Lisa can't dissect her worm during science class.
"Miss Hoover, I can't do this! Can I be excused?" Lisa asks.
"Of course." Miss Hoover pushes a hidden red button.
"Miss Hoover! My worm jumped up into my mouth and I eated it! Can I have another?" Ralph asks.
"There are no more worms, Ralph, just sit there and be quiet."
At lunch Lisa holds up the queue to ask for a vegetarian option. Lunch Lady Doris offers her a hotdog bun, an empty bun. "When did you lose interest in this job?" Lisa asks. Lunch Lady Doris nervously looks round and pushes a red button under her canteen station.
"Two independent thought alarms today! This requires a special assembly!" Skinner gasps. “The students are over stimulated! Must be the coloured chalk!”
“I warned you that chalk was the work of Lucifer! I warned you!” yelled Groundskeeper Willie.
The students are made to watch a film by Troy McClure about farming and animal slaughter starring a little boy called Timmy. Troy eventually shows him through the abattoir, where he is traumatised by the dying animals.
"They can't expect us to swallow that tripe!" Lisa gasped.
"Now here's a free plate of tripe!" Skinner explained. All the kids except Lisa and Oscar run to the plate and devour it. Yeeeuck!
"No! Can't you see you've all been brainwashed by corporate advertising?!" Lisa gasped.
"Apparently my friend, Lisa hasn't heard of the food chain!" Janey Powell snarks while eating the tripe.
"Yeeeeuck! How can you lot eat tripe?! I'm gonna be sick!" Oscar gags.
“Oh don’t tell me you’re vegetarian...” Janey teased him.
“No.” Oscar said sarcastically. “I just don’t like eating Cow’s stomach lining!”
All the students started throwing up and spitting out the tripe in disgust. “Eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuughh!”
“Tamaki stop putting everyone off of the cow’s stomach lining!” said Principal Skinner telling him off.
...
Lisa's friends make fun of her for not eating meat.
"Are you gonna marry a carrot?" Janey asked.
"Or a potato?" The twins asked.
"Hey! That's enough! Lisa's seriously a vegetarian! She's not just become squeamish about meat for a laugh! Now stop making fun of her! How dare you!"
"Oscar! Please! Let's go!" Lisa pulls on his arm to get him to leave it and follow her home.
At home.
"How was School?" Marge asked.
"Everyone is making fun of me. Oscar stood up for me though." Lisa replied.
"Isn't that nice!" Marge scruffles his hair.
"For once..." Bart remarks glaring at Oscar.
"Well, I don't really want to make a big deal about it..." Lisa twiddled her fingers.
"Lis, if you don't they'll think they can continue to to make fun of you! It's not acceptable to make fun of people's beliefs! Someone's ethical reasons for not eating meat, not eating anything animal based should be respected not made fun of!" Oscar explained.
"Oh Oscar! Thank you! That's the wisest thing you've ever said!" Lisa hugs him. "Let's not fight ever again." She whispers to him.
"I can't believe you forgive him just because he's helping you now!" Bart rants.
"I'll still help you, but you won't want it!" Oscar retorted.
"Upsetting my parents and getting me a criminal record isn't helping!" Bart replied.
"Don't ask for things you can't have then." Lisa said in a knowitall voice. "You wanted that tattoo, that earring and that copy of Bonestorm..."
"Fine... I'm going to my room..." Bart sighed.
"Ay carumba!" said Lisa.
...
One day in the garden, Homer can hear a party in Flanders's garden. There's loads of Flanders people everywhere.
"Flanders?! You're having a party?!" Homer gasps.
"Yessiroonie!" Ned replied. "Let me introduce everyone! Brazilian Flanders!"
"Dia bom diddly, senor!" said Brazilian Flanders.
"And Lord Flandsworth from England!"
"Charmed," said Lord Flandsworth. Ned coughs to prompt him. "... googily moogily..." Lord Flandsworth sighs and reluctantly comes up with a Flanders gibberish line.
"Can my family join you?" Homer asked.
"Sorry, but it's a Flanders only party today." Ned replied.
"Fine! I'll have my own barbecue! And I'll only invite who I want!" Homer retorted.
"Sounds delightful! Can I come?" Ned asked.
"Why yes!" Homer replied before suddenly realising. "D'oh!"
...
The family write up invitations.
“This barbecue will be thankless work but it will be nice to see our friends and neighbours outside of a courtroom.” said Marge.
“And not have to look at Bart’s dorky Sunday morning spikes and dorky suit.” said Oscar. “Do you make him dress up like that every Sunday or court appearance?”
“Hmmmmmm... Yes! He looks very smart and professional!” Marge was annoyed at Oscar’s remarks.
“You know what we should serve! Those pork chops you did last night Marge! They were the best! Mmmmmm! Crispy!” said Homer.
“Why thank you dear! You might say the secret ingredient is salt...” said Marge giggling.
Plot 2[]
Lisa then read the menus.
"BBBQQ?" Lisa asks. "What's the extra B for?"
"Beer," Homer replied.
"What's the extra Q for?" Bart asked.
"That's a typo." Homer replied.
"Ugh! Is there nothing but meat on the menu?! Lisa gags. "Haven't you got anything vegetarian?"
"You don't win friends with salad Lisa..." Bart and Homer start singing this while doing the conga.
"Homer! Bart! That's enough! You will make something vegetarian for Lisa and anyone else who can't eat meat or there'll be no barbecue!" Marge yells.
"D'oh!" Homer groans. "You're really pushing it, baby..." he says with gritted teeth.
...
At the barbecue all of Homer's friends come including Doctor Hibbert.
“I prescribe one freshly cooked hotdog Doctor.” said Homer giving Hibbert a hotdog in a bun.
“A hehehehe!” Hibbert chuckled and ate it. “Diagnosis: Delicious!”
“Hey Homer how about one of them you know burgers...” said Wiggum too tired to get up from his bench.
“Coming right up Officer!” said Homer. He was flipping burger patties.
There are various meat dishes including a suckling pig. However there are salads and a bowl of gazpacho that Lisa made.
"Who made salad?! Yeeeuck!" Barney whined.
"Attention everyone!" Marge calls for attention with a spoon and her wine glass. "Lisa's now a vegetarian so she can't eat meat, please show some respect please!" Everyone laughs and jeers at Lisa.
"Forget it Mom... I'll be in my room..." Lisa runs off crying.
Marge glares at her guests.
In Lisa's room.
"Well, at least they're not shoving it in my face..." Lisa remarks.
Meanwhile...
"Flip me another burger Dad!" Bart asks for another burger.
"Here you go! Whoa! Look how high it's going!" Ho et flips a patty and it goes flying into Lisa's room...
The burger lands on her face. Lisa growls.
...
While the festivities go on, Lisa borrows the Flanders Mower and drives away with the suckling pig.
"What the-!" Homer gasps.
"Bart no!" Marge yells.
"What did I do?!" Bart whined.
"Sorry, force of habit." Marge apologised to Bart. "Lisa no!"
The piggy goes into the road.
"Noooooo!" Homer screams.
It goes into the river.
"It's just a little slimy it's still good!"
The pig gets stuck in a pipe. It then shoots out.
"It's just a little airborne! It's still good!"
Mr Burns is in his office discussing the odds of him giving to charity.
"When pigs fly! Bwahahahaha!" Mr Burns laughs. A pig flies past.
"Um... are you gonna keep that promise then?" Smithers asked.
"No." Burns replied awkwardly after what he just saw.
Meanwhile
"Face it Dad, it's long gone..." Bart sighed.
...
After the barbecue Homer and Lisa argue.
"You ruined a perfect barbecue! You threw away an expensive pig that cost me my monthly wages! And you humiliated me in front of my friends!" Homer yelled.
"Well your friends didn't have to humiliate me about my vegetarianism! I'm glad I got rid of that pig! At least the poor thing can rest in peace now!" Lisa retaliated.
"That's it! Go to your room!" Homer yelled.
"I can't live with a prehistoric carnivore! I'm leaving!" Lisa yelled before running away.
"Lisa! Get back here!" Homer yelled.
"Homer! You're not allowed to be angry with her right now! It's your bigoted behaviour and that of your friends that's upset her! You're gonna apologise to her when I get her home! Otherwise I don't think I can stay married to someone so rude and prejudice!" Marge ranted before storming off to collect Lisa.
"Oh thanks Oscar... Do you like conflict or something?" Bart yelled.
“Um yes?” Oscar replied.
...
Lisa wanders about town but is greeted by signs advertising the consumption of meat.
Eventually at the Kwik-e mart she gives in and eats a hotdog. "There! Are you happy world?!" She yells.
"Oh, I see your enjoying my tofu dogs, Lisa. That'll be 50 cents please!" Apu explained.
"Tofu?!" Lisa asked.
"Yes, of course I haven't labled them as such so the customers never know! Hehehehe!" Apu replied.
"Don't you sell anything with meat in it?" Lisa asked.
"Certainly not! I'm vegetarian! To be fair Hinduism isn't strictly vegetarianism, mostly we can't eat cows because they're sacred, but we often choose to be vegetarian." Apu explained.
"Wow! I didn't know that!" Lisa gasped.
"Let me show you something." Apu opens the door to the non alcoholic beer freezer, however it's a false freezer and instead is a secret staircase that goes up.
"Cool! But what if a customer asks for a non alcoholic beer?" Lisa asked. Now that's just silly!
...
They arrive in a rooftop garden.
"Ooooo!" Lisa ooos and aaaaahs at the beautiful garden.
"This is where I meditate away from everyone when the day gets tough." Apu explained.
Suddenly Paul McCartney appears.
"Hello, Lisa." said Paul.
"Paul McCartney! Where's Linda?" Lisa asked.
"Why right here." Linda McCartney followed him from out of the ferns.
"I'm just glad Heather's not here throwing glasses of water at people..." Oscar whispered. Lisa gave him a 'not now!' look.
"You see, Paul and Linda are vegetarian too!" Apu explained.
"Yes, we feel strongly about animal rights. Did you know if you play one of my songs backwards it has a hidden recipe for a good lentil soup?" Paul explained.
"When will people learn that they can live just on fruits and vegetables and just milk and eggs." Lisa sighed.
"Eggs? Milk?!" Apu gasped.
"You don't eat those?" Lisa asked.
"No! Nothing from animal." Apu replied.
"Then you must think I'm a monster!" Lisa gasped.
"Lisa. Part of wanting people to accept you for being vegetarian is accepting people for not being vegetarian." Apu explained.
"Like my dad and Bart. Ooooh, but I ruined their barbecue and we had such an argument..." Lisa replied.
"I'm sure they'll come round." said Paul.
"Now who wants to listen to my tribute to the Beatles?" Apu starts singing badly while playing a sitar. Lisa cringes and walks away.
...
Lisa leaves the Kwik-e mart and bumps into Marge.
"There you are! Don't worry sweetie, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at your father. You have a big apology waiting for you when we get home." Marge explained as they walked home.
"That's alright, I met Paul and Linda McCartney and they taught me to accept people for still eating meat as I want to be accepted for my vegetarianism. I am kinda sorry I ruined the barbecue..." Lisa replied. They hugged.
"That's ok dear..."
...
However at breakfast Homer was refusing to speak to Lisa.
“Marge... since I’m not talking to Lisa can you tell her to pass me the syrup...” said Homer clearly causing a frosty atmosphere.
“Lisa pass your dad the syrup...” Marge sighed.
“Bart, tell dad I’ll only pass him the syrup if he’s not using it on any meat products...” Lisa said annoyed at Homer.
“Are you dipping your sausages in that syrup Homeboy?” Bart asked Homer.
“Marge tell Bart I’m just having a glass of syrup like I do every morning...” said Homer.
“Homer tell him yourself!” said Marge.
“Bart tell your mother suggestion noted.” said Homer.
“Homer I heard that! And secondly you’re not not talking to me...” said Marge.
“Lisa tell your mother to get off of my back!” said Homer.
“Dad, Lisa’s the one you’re not talking to...” said Bart.
“That’s it! Go to your room!” Homer yelled.
“Why don’t you just eat him!!” Lisa yelled.
“I’ll eat him! Yuuuuuummm!” said Oscar wearing a napkin around his neck and holding a knife and fork.
“I don’t need serving suggestions from you little miss barbecue ruiner!” Homer yelled.
“Grrrrrrrr! I can’t stay in this house with this prehistoric carnivore!” Lisa yelled storming off from breakfast.
“Homer!” Marge scolded him.
“Oscar stop pouring salt on me! You’re not eating me!” Bart yelled.
...
Marge asked Homer to see things from Lisa’s point of view.
“I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.” said Homer.
”And I’d be rich if money grew on trees...” said Oscar.
“Shut up!” Homer snapped.
”No you!” Oscar yelled. “Lisa’s right you’ve been a jerk all week over her vegetarianism!”
“Oz you eat meat.” said Bart.
”I’ve had to stop ordering giant cartoon Flintstones Bronto ribs in the Stone Age because of Dino, my pet baby Chomby. It upsets him seeing me eat dinosaur meat...” said Oscar.
Dino frowned as if to say: “Well how about you stop eating meat altogether...”
Bart found Lisa sat outside the pharmacy.
”You’re right Lisa, eating meat is baaaaaaaaad!” He said mocking her by making sheep noises.
”Oh shut up...” Lisa went off somewhere to get away from him.
Bart laughed. “Baaaaaad....”
Lisa looked at a photo from her family’s day out to Mother Goose’s fairy tale farm and petting zoo.
She sighed remembering the cute sheep.
There was a sheep.
”Aaaaaaaawwwwww!” The Simpsons cooed.
It trotted away and there was a cuter one.
”Awwwwwwwwwww!”
That trotted away and there was a tiny pink lamb.
”D’aaaaaaawwwwwwww!”
The second sheep stood in the way wanting attention.
”Out of the way loser!” Homer rudely shoved it out of the way.
”D’aaaaaawwwwww!” They cooed at the pink lamb.
Afterwards.
”Shame Oscar missed out on that cute lamb!” said Lisa. “I wonder where he ran off to?”
Bart face palmed. “Oh no...”
Lisa looked.
Oscar was playing with some baby chicks.
(Chicks cheeping)
”Haaaaaaawwwwwww! Chicky chickies!” Oscar squealed from his Aspergers and obsessions with cute animals.
