Lisa the Drama Queen It’s actually Lisa and the Drama Queen, but I suppose Lisa is a drama queen sometimes. Upon being dropped off at a rec centre/day club Lisa makes a new friend who has very active imagination. Together they create the fantasy world of Equalia!
Plot[]
The chalkboard gag is “I will not use permanent chalk on the chalkboard”
The couch gag is the Simpsons sitting on their couch only for the camera to zoom out revealing they’re action figures posed on a couch in a box to be sold at Android’s dungeon. “Worst couch gag ever!” said Comic Book Guy.
The episode starts with Homer dropping the kids off at a recreation centre/day club for activities.
“Why do we have to go to this recreation centre? I want to play with my friends!” Bart whined.
“I was meditating!” Lisa whined.
”Grrrrrr! Garrrrrrgrrblblblbleeccckkk garrr!” Hugo growled in gibberish in a beastly manner.
Homer frowned and pulled Bart and Lisa by the scruff of their shirt/dress and put them on the sidewalk. “When you’re older you’ll miss these things!” said Homer.
“You’re older. Why are you not coming here every time someone wants you out of the house for snuggle time?” Lisa asked.
“Because no one is making me! And it’s not because your mother and I want privacy to snuggle!” Homer explained reaching into the back seat of the car to pull out Hugo. “Come on Freaky!”
Hugo whines as Homer pulls him out and does the human limpet.
“D’oh! Let go!” Homer growls.
“Hugo... let go of the car...” Bart sighed.
Hugo relented and lets go of the car.
“Bye bye kids!” said Homer driving away.
Bart, Lisa and Hugo went inside.
Bart attended a Kung fu class taught by Comic Book Guy. Obviously he did not learn from the last time he taught Kung fu.
“Welcome. For those whose parents signed the permission slips, I will teach you the art of shaolin Kung fu. For those that haven’t. You have just purchased very expensive pyjamas...“ said Comic Book Guy.
Some kids whined and left the class.
“He’s right. These do make cute pyjamas!” said Oscar admiring his Kung fu robes.
Bart rolled his eyes. Oscar could be so weird sometimes.
”Oz stop finding things cute...” Bart sighed.
Comic book Guy continued to lecture the class.
“Excuse me Comic Book Guy, but what could a tub of lard like you know about Kung fu?” Bart asked rudely.
“Ha! Kung fu is not about one’s physique! It is about channeling one’s inner energy or chi!” said Comic Book Guy explained. “You doubt my abilities? Come at me!”
All the kids leapt on him punching and kicking and making high pitched karate cries. Then Nelson kicked him in the groin really hard.
“Ow! My chi!!” Comic Book Guy cried in pain.
...
Meanwhile Lisa was in an art class painting a bowl of fruit.
“Uh teacher... my orange isn’t the right shade of orange for that orange in the bowl!” said Lisa.
“Just paint the damn fruit!” said the teacher rudely.
“Lower your expectations Lisa... get with the programme...” said Lisa painting.
Eventually the teacher checked their paintings.
“Mmmmmgmmm... wrong colours... No! No! No! Juliet your art is personal and wrong!” said the teacher. A new girl, Juliet had drawn the teacher as a fire breathing dragon! Hehehe.
“I was painting from my heart.” said Juliet. “And if you look carefully you’ll see the knight is Josh Groban, our young century’s greatest vocalist.” Juliet paused. “Plus I painted you as a dragon, because that’s what I think of you. You’re a dragon.”
“Why you insolent little!” said the teacher angry.
“Wow! Another Grobanite?” said Lisa being a fan of this Josh Groban... The awesome guy who sings you raise me uuuuup! She looked at Juliet’s painting. “Excuse me teacher, but I like Juliet’s painting! It’s full of deep personal feelings.”
“Oh! And I suppose you’d like to teach the class!” said the teacher.
“Why yes!” said Lisa. “Class, put down your paintbrushes and look at Juliet’s painting.”
“I don’t need this! I have a saloon car and two kids to provide for!” The teacher ranted. “If you two girls don’t like my class, there’s a whole world of imagination waiting outside!”
Lisa took Juliet by her hand and they ran outside giggling.
“Stop staring! Everyone do fifty laps with their paint brushes! Now!” The teacher yelled.
A fat kid was painting too slowly. “Faster fatty! I haven’t got all day!” The teacher yelled at a blond fat boy.
...
In the science club Hugo was mixing chemicals together.
”Hugo do be careful. You do know what happens if you add peroxide do you?” The teacher asked.
”Yes...” said Hugo. As soon as he mixed the chemicals they blew up violently and he was comically black with soot with singed clothes.
In the recreational centre playground.
“So how comes I’ve never seen you around the Janet L Munoz Robbins recreation centre before?” Lisa asked Juliet.
“My father recently just got a job at Springfield University as a teacher.” said Juliet. “Are your folks academic?”
Lisa giggled nervously and embarrassed. “Kinda...” then she got out her new mypod that nearly bankrupted her in Mypods and Boomsticks. “Let’s listen to some Groban.”
They started singing badly and off key! Aaaaaaagh!
Even Willie didn’t like their singing so he broke off two blades from his leaf rake and put them in his ears to blot out their singing. Wiggum had stuck his guns in his ears.
Lisa and Juliet’s bad singing reached a crescendo. Then the recreational centre science lab exploded violently. Hugo stood in the ruins covered in soot and wearing singed and torn clothes from the explosion.
“Oops...” said Hugo.
...
At Apu’s.
“Bart I have a new friend and I want to buy her some candy, but I don’t want to come on too strong.” said Lisa.
“How about M and Ms?” said Bart.
“How about Eminem?” said Oscar. He brought the rapper Eminem with him.
Eminem rapped.
”Yo! My name is! What? My name is! Who? My name is! Slim Shady!”
“How about no Oz...” Bart sighed.
“Oh great. If they’re plain she’ll think I’m cheap! If they’re peanut she might be allergic! Thanks Bart you’ve just killed her!” Lisa yelled.
“How about a Charleston Chew?” Bart asked.
“This isn’t the fifties! And I’m not going out with Richard Nixon!” said Lisa.
“I am not a crook! Rrrrblblblblbl! Flbitis!” said former president Richard Nixon picking up a Charleston Chew.
Bart grimaced.
“How about this candy that’s called Yes.” said Oscar picking up a Yes bar.
“How about a candy that’s called no!” Lisa yelled.
“Fine get your own candy...” said Bart annoyed with her poopy attitude.
“Excuse me but how about an almond joy? It looks like you only bought candy for yourself but you just happen to have two bars!” said Apu.
“Finally a sensible suggestion!” said Lisa.
“If she doesn’t like coconut your screwed!” said Bart.
“Why would there be coconut in an almond bar?!” Lisa yelled from off screen.
...
Lisa waited for Juliet at her academy when school ended.
Lisa was intrigued but then crestfallen when she read the golden plaque. it said “A scholarship free environment.”
“Oooooh...” Lisa sighed disappointed.
Juliet arrived.
“Hi Juliet.” said Lisa.
“Hi Lisa. So what do you want to do?” said Juliet in a dumb voice.
“I don’t know. It’s been so long since I had any real friends...” said Lisa.
“Hmmmmmph!” said Alison cross.
“That’s why I said it’s been so long Alison! We were friends in one episode back in season six!” said Lisa to Alison.
“My folks just got me a membership pass to the Springfield folk art museum!” said Juliet.
“Does it get you in the special exhibits?!” Lisa asked eagerly.
“Only on Wednesdays.” said Juliet.
“That’s today!” Lisa squealed happily.
...
Lisa, Alison and Juliet are at the folk art museum when Dr Demento’s surfer music plays! Aaaaaaaaagh! Run Bart!
(Surfing music plays)
“Nyaaaaaaagh! Dr Demento!” Bart screamed in fear.
Lisa rolled her eyes. “That’s my brother Bart for you...”
The three smart girls went to look at the exhibits while Dr Demento still played in the background.
They saw dinosaur bones and Egyptian mummies.
...
At the Simpsons house, Bart was cowering on his bed while Marge comforted him.
“There, there sweetie. Dr Demento can’t hurt you...” said Marge stroking him.
“Well not legally.” said Oscar. “Otherwise he’d lose his job and have that as ammunition to hold a grudge against you. Like Sideshow Bob does...”
“Hmmmm! Oscar you’re not helping...” Marge sighed.
Homer walked past.
“Oh great did Sideshow Bob break out of jail again?” Homer sighed.
“No. Bart’s just got frightened by the sound department’s poor choice of montage music. They chose Dr Demento...” said Marge.
“Oh geez!” Homer groaned. “He’s got to get over that thing, like he has to get over his fear of coffins! I need someone to put away the dishes! Because Hugo isn’t doing a good job!” said Homer.
A plate downstairs smashed.
“D’oh!” said Homer.
Hugo was in the kitchen having broke a plate accidentally. “Oops.” he sighed. Marge, Homer and Bart rushed in.
“You see Marge?” said Homer.
“Hmmmm.... Bart we’ll talk later. How about you help me with these dishes.” said Marge.
“Congratulations Bro. You’re off the hook from chores...” said Bart to Hugo.
Hugo went off somewhere. Probably to his room.
“I’ll just be sat at the kitchen table off screen reading a newspaper.” said Homer doing just that.
“Isn’t it nice Lisa as a friend? She’s finally doing what the book said she would!” said Marge holding a white book called “How to raise a normal child.”
“It won’t last...” said Bart back to his usual sarcastic self.
Suddenly Lisa and Juliet ran in giggling.
“Mom, can Juliet sleep over?” Lisa asked.
“Oh I’m so happy dear! But is Juliet’s parents okay with this? They don’t even know us!” said Marge.
“We could be murderers!” said Bart putting away dishes.
“Hmmmmm! Bart!” Marge told Bart off for scaring people.
“Heh... could have been. But we had to have kids...” said Homer reading a newspaper at the kitchen table.
Oscar held up a placard reading, “Treehouse of Horror 18 reference!”
“That’s not canon!” said Homer.
“It is now. I want the bathroom armoury...” said Oscar.
“Oooooh! An armoury in your bathroom! Real classy Oz...” said Stewie Griffin.
”Shaddup...” Oscar muttered.
Plot 2[]
At dinner Juliet talked about a very geeky crime novel.
”And then I read James Patterson’s 1st to die.” said Juliet
“Books are for squares. I only read comics...” said Bart.
”No one cares Bart....” Lisa snapped exasperated by him.
“And I only like Harry Potter, The Edge Chronicles and Quicksand Fetish Volume I. Look at the little boy from Ocean Girl sinking in the quicksand and showing off his muddy belly! He’s cute!” said Oscar.
Everyone was creeped out by his quicksand fetish and possible homosexuality.
”INAPPROPRIATE!” Dark Teddy yelled like Moxxie.
”Anyway so at school-“ said Juliet.
(Oscar moaning aroused and masturbating)
”Oz not at the dining table!” Bart yelled snatching his book on quicksand scenes in cartoons and tv programs with illustrations.
Homer was eating corn on the cob and a chicken leg. A fly was bothering him.
He waited until it landed on his plate and he slammed his head on his plate crushing the fly.
”Ummmmm.... Is your family okay....” Juliet asked Lisa.
...
That night Lisa and Juliet were discussing a magical kingdom they made up.
“What shall we call our kingdom- I mean Queendom?” asked Lisa.
“Just call it a monarchy! Then it’s not sexist to anyone!” said Oscar.
“Oz stop eavesdropping!” said Lisa.
“I can’t help it if the walls are thin...” said Oscar.
“How about Equalia?” Juliet asked.
“Perfect! Equalia, where everyone is equal and but we’re in charge!” said Lisa. “Well someone has to be...”
“Like Animal Farm!” Oscar yelled.
“Or communism in general!” said Hugo.
“Guys please! This is a private conversation!” Lisa yelled.
“Okay girls! Lights out!” said Marge. “Good night!
She turned out Lisa’s bedroom light and left.
“Juliet, will you be my best friend?” Lisa asked Juliet.
Marge was eavesdropping. “Oh! Say yes! Please say yes?”
“Moooom! Are you eavesdropping?!” Lisa yelled.
“Uh no...” Marge lied.
Cheatsy Koopa in his pyjamas rolled his eyes and went to Lisa’s door to eavesdrop.
“Yes Lisa, I will.” said Juliet.
“Woohoo!” said Marge from outside.
“Mooooom!” Lisa yelled.
“Sorry dear.” said Marge.
“Ugh! Girls...” said Cheatsy.
Lisa and Juliet went to sleep,
“I have a best friend!” Lisa giggled. “You heard me say that didn’t you?” she asked Juliet.
“Yes...” said Juliet.
“We’re still cool right?” Lisa asked
“Always. Now please! I’m trying to sleep!” sId Juliet.
“Oops! Sorry!” said Lisa.
...
The next day. Marge was having her morning cup of coffee in her smiley face mug.
Lisa was happily telling her about Juliet.
“Oh good! Here’s some best friend advice! Always complement their hair and shoes! And if her dog bites you, don’t make a big deal about it!” said Marge.
“Unless it’s Oscar’s dog that bites you. Because then we’ll all have to call you lefty from now on, Or Herman!” said Homer.
“Homer, my dog doesn’t bite! She’s gentle! Aren’t you my big fluffy baby? Yes you are!” Oscar explains then coos at his German Shepherd, she squeals happily and opens her mouth wide like a dolphin does.
Homer cringed.
Outside in the backyard sat in Homer’s “not magical” hammock Lisa and Juliet were discussing their fantasy world Equalia.
Juliet decided it needed a twonicorn. A unicorn with two horns.
“Oh I love how you say twonicorn! Two-nicorn! Hehehe! You can do the audiotape!” said Lisa.
“I don’t!” said Oscar behind the fence. “I think she sounds like a girl version of Peter Shepherd with an even worse head cold!”
“Thanks buddy...” Peter sighed. “And it’s not a head cold! I have a deviated septum!”
Lisa and Juliet sighed.
,..
They went to the mall to get away from Oscar. They were making little paper models of themselves as Princesses and stuff.
“Then Princess Elizabeth and Princess Juliet hide the last twonicorn behind a tree from the dumb ogre Homerino! Hehehe!” said Lisa.
“That’s just your dad isn’t it...” Juliet sighed.
“Yeah but I can get away with poking fun at him because I’m sweet, innocent Lisa!” said Lisa.
Nelson was watching them. “Ugh! Girls are so lame! Isn’t that right headless Darth Vader? What? You want to see your girlfriend armless Malibu Stacy wrapped in tin foil? Okay!” said Nelson playing with his very weird toys. Then he sighed. “What am I doing with my life...”
...
One evening the Simpsons are driving to Juliet’s house. They are all dressed up nicely and geeky.
“Now Juliet’s family are very classy so be on your best behaviour!” said Marge.
“Use only big words like computerised and doorbell. Bart you can have doorbell.” said Homer.
Oscar face palmed.
”And Freak, behave!” Homer told Hugo off.
”ENOUGH!! Don’t call him that!” Oscar snapped.
They arrived at Juliet’s. Her dad Lord Capulet greeted them.
“Oz...” Lisa sighed.
“Nice doorbell! Is it computerised?” Bart asked being stupid.
“Hey! That was my word!” Homer yelled and slapped Bart’s head.
“Ow!” Bart whined.
“Homer!” Marge told him of for physically disciplining his children in front of company.
“What? Ain’t I allowed spank my kids in public?” Homer asked. He slapped Bart again.
“Ow!” Bart whined.
Everyone was embarrassed.
“Nice to meet you Lord Capulet!” said Oscar greeting Juliet’s father.
“Oz! Really?! A Romeo and Juliet gag?!” Lisa whined.
“Actually I have a boyfriend called Romeo!” said Juliet.
Lisa groaned.
Everyone went in.
...
Homer was trying to be cultured while talking to Juliet’s father but ruining things.
“It is so nice that my Juliet is friends with your Lisa.” said Juliet’s father.
“Yes quite so. No if you would show me to your bathroom where I will pretend to was my hands...” said Homer.
Juliet’s father sighed.
Inside everyone sat down at the table. Bart was sat next to Lisa and Juliet with Juliet’s mother round the corner of the table from him. Hugo was next to Maggie.
Hugo was pulling faces at Bart. He made a demented face pulling at his mouth to widen it and stick his tongue out.
“Hugo stop that!” Marge told him off.
“Yeah Hugo...” Bart sighed.
Juliet’s father talked about his favourite book by John Grisham. A Time to Kill.
“Ooooooh! With a title like that it’s got to be awesome with lots of deaths in it!” said Oscar.
Homer rudely spoke with his mouth full.
“Dad...” said Bart.
“Huh?” said Homer spitting food.
“Could you not...”
Homer muffled and spat food.
“Homer! Don’t talk with your mouth full!” Marge scolded him.
Homer swelled his food but put more food in his mouth and spoke. Spraying food.
“Keep your meal in your mouth! You semiliterate spew monkey!!” Bart shouted at Homer.
“That’s it! Go to the drawing room!” Homer shouted at Bart. He stormed off.
Marge was mortified.
Juliet broke the ice by suggesting they listen to some Josh Groban. “How about we listen to some Josh Groban?” said Juliet. But her dad stopped her.
“Juliet, I’m afraid this Josh Groban is becoming a bit of an obsession for you...” said Juliet’s dad to her. “How about we listen to scary incidental music.” Creepy music plays. “Ah track three.”
Juliet suddenly started to snap. “I hate track three! I hate it!!” then she ran off crying.
The Simpsons and the Capulets were embarrassed.
“I’ll go after her!” said Lisa running outside but clobbering into the glass door.
“Watch the glass- Door...” said Juliet’s father.
“Ow! Stupid extremely clean and smudge free glass!” Lisa groaned.
Oscar laughed.
After Lisa left.
“Doc can you check a lump on my back?” Homer asked.
“I’m not that kind of doctor...” said Juliet’s father.
“Fine... here’s your TARDIS... I accidentally shrunk it in the washing machine...” Homer gave him a sound making TARDIS piggy bank.
Juliet’s father face palmed.
...
Lisa found Juliet sitting on the lawn looking at something. She assumed she was still upset.
“Juliet are you alright?” Lisa asked her.
“Of course Lisa! Now I’m back in Equalia! Look you can see all the members of the royal court frolicking!” said Juliet clearly unhinged. “Don’t you see them...?”
“See who?” Lisa asked.
“Why everyone! The ogre Homerino, the giraffeapuss...” eerie music played as she showed her true colours...
“Juliet you’re scaring me- Ooooooh!” Lisa saw the fictional characters too as they came to life. There was Homerino the ogre juggling, a beautiful fairy queen...
“I’m a giraffe-a-pus! I’m uncomfortable on land and in water!” said a giraffe head and neck with tentacles.
“And you are the hottest tentacle monster I have ever seen!” said Satyr Oscar. “Violate me with your tentacles now!”
Lisa rolled her eyes.
”Oz not in front of company!” Lisa sighed.
Then a twonicorn asked for some sugar. Lisa gave him a sugar cube. He burned up a rainbow. “I didn’t know I could do that!”
Then the fairy queen asked for the royal Mypod to play Josh Groban songs.
Lisa and Juliet danced to the music as princesses. But actually they were dancing amongst the sprinkler systems as their families watched.
“Um okay...” Bart winced.
Plot 3[]
Marge was having another morning cup of coffee from her smiley face mug when she wanted a word with Lisa.
“Yes Mom?” said Lisa sitting down before breakfast in her nighty.
“Lisa. Um I don’t suppose you notice something about Juliet’s behaviour last night.” said Marge. “Did anything seem odd?”
“Well... she did snap when her dad wouldn’t let her listen to her favourite music but I tell Dad all the time in the car I don’t like his music! Then in her garden she...” said Lisa.
“Yes go on...” said Marge.
“She said she could see the Equlia characters we made up!” said Lisa. “I think she might be cuckoo!”
“Lisa that’s not a very nice thing to say!” Marge said in a cross tone. “So what if she’s a little special... Oscar’s special...”
Oscar was scribbling on a piece of paper and speaking gibberish. “Kallae kist nae... galahoooo yeah!”
“You’re saying my friend is an Aspie?!” Lisa gasped.
“No no no! She might have some label though! Just don’t mention it to her!” said Marge.
“Don’t worry, I won’t Mom...” said Lisa.
...
Lisa had Juliet around again. They were making more stuff up for Equalia. They let Oscar do illustrations for them.
“Oscar how are those illustrations going?” Lisa asked.
“Almost done. Here’s what I’ve done so far.” said Oscar passing her his drawings.
Lisa barely glanced at one before getting annoyed at him. “Oscar...”
“What?” Oscar whined.
“You call this done?!” Lisa yelled. “You coloured Homerino the Orge green and wrote Shrek on the drawing! And on this picture of the giraffe-a-pus you wrote Hentai Monster!”
“Sorry...” said Oscar.
“Lisa, you shouldn’t be so hard on him. He’s just a little different that’s all...” said Juliet.
“I need to get a drink...” said Lisa. She went off to get a drink.
”To be honest Shrek is really popular right now to kids.” said Oscar.
...
Marge and Homer were at a parent teacher meeting with principal Skinner over some concerning behaviour.
“I’ll cut to the chase. It’s about your daughter Lisa.”
Homer assumed Bart was in trouble again. “Oh great... what has Bart done now...”
“Mr Simpson! I was talking about Lisa!” said Skinner.
“Aren’t we all talking about Lisa...” said Homer smirking. “but seriously what has the boy done now?”
“Nothing! Now can we please talk about Lisa!” Skinner yelled.
“Homer!” Marge told Homer to stop interrupting. “What is it Principal Skinner?”
“Lisa’s unfocused, scribbling nonsense and babbling about Equalia whatever that is!”
Marge was furious with Skinner.
“For your information Principal Skinner! Lisa and Juliet’s fantasy novel is not nonsense! But then I don’t suppose you care for art because you drove Jack Crowley into Pyromania when you rudely rejected his work!!”
“His pictures of godless barbarian women and amazons were giving the boys suggestive thoughts!!” Skinner yelled back. “Your daughter is a very smart girl but she is in danger of becoming unfocused in class and turning into her brother Bart!”
“Ha! Knew this was about Bart!” said Homer.
Marge gasped and imagined Lisa as a tomboy firing her slingshot at people and pranking. “Oh no!”
...
“You’re forbidding me to see Juliet?!” Lisa gasped.
“No no no!” said Marge.
“Yes we are Marge! That’s exactly what Skinner suggested.
“Shut up Homer!” Marge scolded him. He was offended by her being so rude to him. “Don’t listen to your dad or your ridiculous principal and his over bearing mother...” Marge said to Lisa. “Of course you can still see Juliet! Just not during lessons! So no more Skyping at school dear.”
“Okay Mom.” said Lisa. she went off to her room.
“I can’t believe you told me to shut up...” Homer groaned.
After school Lisa was expecting Juliet to turn up.
“Juliet? Juliet...” Lisa asked. An acorn fell on her then a heavy metal lunchbox. “Ow!”
Juliet was in a tree grinning at her.
“Juliet what are you doing up there?” Lisa asked.
“Pretending I’m a squirrel...” said Juliet chittering like a squirrel.
“Okay...” said Lisa. “Mom’s making snacks for our Equlia write up. Hopefully we can get chapter two finished!”
...
At home Lisa and Juliet were in the kitchen writing up about Equalia. Marge came in with a dish of mini pizzas.
‘These be mini pizzas your majesty.” said Marge. “Made from dragon eggs!”
“Mom stop talking like that...” said Lisa.
“Who be this Mom you speak of?” Marge asked in medieval speak.
“Mom this is our thing! Not yours!” said Lisa.
“I just wanted to-“ said Marge.
“Well don’t...” said Lisa.
Homer came in. “Why is Lisa and her friend cosplaying or dressing up? If it’s for playing at home it’s dressing up right? And if it’s creepy virgins who still live with their mother is cosplay right?”
“Dad you need to get out more...” said Lisa. “And for your information we are writing a fantasy world called Equalia. Wanna read what we wrote so far?”
“Hmmmmm! It better have illustrations...” said Homer.
“Oh yeah, Oscars our illustrator!” said Lisa. Oscar nodded.
“Okay sweetie!” said Homer. He read what they read so far then something in the book really annoyed him. “Lisaaaa...” he whined pointing to the illustration of Homerino the Ogre. “Why would you draw me like that?!”
“Uh, Homerino is only loosely based on you dad!” Lisa gulped.
“How loosely...” said Homer.
“Well, he’s bad tempered... and bald...” said Lisa.
Homer snapped. “Does he look like a bitch?”
“Dad! Language!” said Lisa.
“DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!?” Homer screamed at her.
“Homer!” Marge yelled.
“No Dad!” Lisa was frightened. Juliet was wondering why he was quoting Pulp Fiction.
“Then why are you trying to fuck him like a bitch?” Homer ranted.
“Homer! Get out! And calm yourself down!” Marge yelling as she comforted the crying girls. “There, there girls...”
Homer stormed off muttering about being compared to an ogre.
...
Bart came in as Lisa was screwing something up in her room.
“What happened? Did your imaginary friend die or something?” said Bart.
“I’m real and I’m right here Bart...” said Juliet.
“Sure you are babe, sure you are...” said Bart.
“Dad didn’t like he was the inspiration behind Homerino the ogre so we’re scrapping him.” said Lisa.
“Oh... like when he flipped his lid at Mom’s romance novel where she has an affair with Ned Flanders?” said Bart.
“Bart... Temperance Burrows and Cyrus are only loosely based on Mom and Mr Flanders...” said Lisa.
“Still doesn’t excuse the fact Mom has a crush on him...” said Bart.
“I do not have a crush on Ned!” Marge yelled.
“Anyway you shouldn’t abandon your ideas for fear of offending Dad! If I did that I’d never have invented Angry Dad!” said Bart.
“But I don’t like hurting Dad’s feelings!” said Lisa.
“He’ll get over it...” said Bart. “You’re not in the wrong here. He is for shouting and swearing at you.”
“He’s right Lisa. Homerino doesn’t have die yet...” said Juliet.
“That’s right Lisa! Listen to your imaginary friend! Wooooooo!” Bart said in a spooky voice.
“Knock it off...” Lisa sighed.
...
The Simpsons were going out for dinner with Juliet’s family, the capulets...
“Okay jokes over now Oscar...” said Juliet. “My surname is not Capulet, it’s Hobbes...”
“Hobbes?” said Oscar.
“Yeah. Now try and make a joke out of that!” said Juliet.
“Is your dad called Calv-“ said Oscar but Lis band gagged him.
“Oz enough!” Lisa yelled.
“Kids play nice? We grown ups are going to get some clams...” said Marge.
“Mmmmmm! Steamed Clams...” said Homer.
“I heard that!” Skinner yelled.
...
However when they left Jimbo and the gang came in talking a out stolen peaches and bad hair cuts.
”Oh there’s kids in our hideout where we hide stolen peaches and discuss our bad hair cuts.” said Jimbo pulling off his hat to show he was bald.
Oscar laughed at bald Jimbo.
“Right that’s it! Let’s cream these dorks!” Bald Jimbo yelled.
“Oh thanks Oz!” Bart groaned.
They ended up at an abandoned clam restaurant and put in lobster cages.
“What is that you dorks are reading?” Jimbo asked.
“An ambitious fantasy novel written by two second graders...” said Juliet.
“But you wouldn’t be interested...” said Lisa.
“Not true! I have a wide variety interests! I love fantasy novels!” said Kerne.
“Oh great it’s Angelica Buttbrain all over again...” Dolph sighed.
“It’s Angelica Button! And shut up!” Kerne punched him.
“Thanks...” said Bart. He didn’t like Dolph or Jimbo very much.
“So this fantasy novel, Equalia... are there dragons in it?” Kerne asked.
“Isn’t that a little cliched...” said Lisa rolling her eyes. Juliet frowned and slapped her. “Yes! There are dragons! Green ones! Chinese ones!”
“Big tough bald ones like me!” said Kerne excited.
“Why sure!” said Lisa.
The bullies and the weedy little boys sighed with boredom as Lisa and Juliet read Equalia to Kerne.
“This sucks! Let’s burn it!” Dolph grabbed Lisa and Juliet’s novel and tried to burn it.
Kerne got angry and imagined them as laughing trolls.
“Put the book down!” Kerne yelled turning into a dragon! Cooool!
“Or what Buttbrain?” Jimbo asked.
“For Equalia!” Dragon Kerne yelled. And flew at them and started beating up the trolls while cool fantasy music played. Apparently a Josh Groban song.
“Cooooooool!” Oscar cooed as everything turned into fantasy.
Lisa and Juliet as princesses winced as they decided it best to make a hasty escape as in the real world Dolph and Jimbo were beating up Kerne who was smiling thinking about Equalia.
...
The kids were found by their parents.
“There you are! What happened?” Marge asked.
“Oh just some bullies kidnapped us, no biggie.” said Lisa. “But I think Equalia is going to be a big success...” said Lisa.
“Mmmmm... fantasy novels...” said Oscar.
The end!
