Simpsons Fanon
Advertisement

Lisa is Mensa’ed a play on is censored. Lisa annoyed at Bart’s shenanigans at yet another school talent show decides to write an article about how annoyed she is with everyone celebrating stupidity and ostracising intellectuals. She gets a response from Mensa and offered to join. Meanwhile Homer has to fix the hole in the roof after it is a problem during a bad rainstorm but keeps saying his imaginary friend Ray will fix it.

Plot[]

The episode starts as Don’t fear the Roofer.

In Springfield it is raining badly. Moe has a leaky roof. He puts ash trays down to collect the rain water. When he runs out he drags a sleeping Barney to collect rain in his mouth. Barney thinks he is under the beer tap again and giggles in his sleep.

“Hey hey! No enjoying it!” Moe yelled.

The Simpsons except Marge, more on her a sec, were watching the weather news.

“This is Kent Brockman with the weather as Springfield has a rainstorm of biblical proportions.” said Kent. “Professor Frink what is your take on this?”

“Well, uh Kent, (Frink tic) either we have two weather fronts, a warm one and a cold one like my wife’s love for me right now, merging or B, God is bowling! With the pins and ball and the cheap tacky pizza that comes in squares!” said Frink.

“I am going with the latter! And as a precaution Kent, I have made an ark carrying two of every animal!” said Noah on an ark with animals.

“And we’re coming along for the ride! Ain’t that super!” said Ned as his family and the Lovejoys and Sea captain were there also.

“Arrrrr! This be a fine biblical vessel!” said Sea Captain.

“Oh look Krusty! Any jokes today?” Kent asked Krusty.

“No I sold all my bad weather jokes to Jay Mohr. But I can do funny noises down your microphone!” said Krusty.

“Fine...” said Kent.

Krusty made silly noises and made faces.

Marge was upstairs in bed sick with a cold having just caught the start of the storm. She was reading as a leak of water collected in her hair before spilling onto startling her.

“Homer we have to do something about this Leak!” said Marge.

“Sure Sweetie.” said Homer.

“I mean it! I just realised our son’s bedroom is up there!” said Marge. Homer looked puzzled. “The one we locked away because he was psychotic until Oscar reported us to social services... Hugo?”

“Oooooooh Hugo... He can sleep with a small leak for a bit...” said Homer.

“No! Until that Leak is fixed he’ll have to share with Bart.

“Oh crap...” Bart groaned from his room.

“Bart! I heard that!” Marge yelled.

“My laboratory!” Hugo whined as the attic was flooded. Including the area converted into a science laboratory.

“My Futon!” Homer groaned as his attic futon got soggy.

“Now will you fix it?” Marge asked Homer.

“I just need Bart’s Hotwheels tracks.” said Homer.

He set up the plastic tracks as a mini water slide to let water run out of the house threw the letter box.

“My hamster!” Lisa cried as a little brown, squeaking hamster was sliding down the Hotwheels track water slide. Wheeeeee!”

Lisa ran outside after the hamster as it went out the letter box. She knocked over all the Hotwheels tracks.

“Ooooooooh!” Homer groaned.

Marge nagged Homer about not keeping a roof over their heads.

“Homer you can’t even keep a roof over our heads!” Marge nagged.

Bart was then cross with Homer. “These were supposed to be delicious triscuits for my dinner party with Martin and the nerd patrol! I was thinking of knuckling down and getting his help to get into college! But now they are ruined! Goodbye College dreams!” Bart yelled storming off.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had delicious Triscuits! We could have all enjoyed them in our tummies Swann!” Oscar yelled quoting Billy Madison.

Lisa came back in with the hamster wrapped in a little blanket like a baby. Cute! “He was supposed to be my science fair project!” The hamster coughed. “That’s not gonna win me anything!”

Hugo was mad next. “My laboratory and bedroom is flooded! Where am I supposed to perform science experiments and sleep now?!”

Everyone yelled at Homer.

“Right that’s it! I’m going to Moe’s!” Homer storms out. “It’s raining I better take a coat and umbrella.”

However at a Moe’s he ruins a surprise birthday party for Lenny held by all his friends such as a Carl, Bumblebee man, Sea Captain and Stephen Hawking of all people.

“Great. You have ruined this shindig, this jamboree, this celebration of Lenny’s birthday! You bald headed twit!” said Stephen Hawking’s computerised chair because he can’t talk for himself anymore.

“Now them’s fighting words!” Homer picked a fight with a paralysed university professor.

“Make my day...” Stephen in a computerised voice goaded him.

“Why you!” Homer yelled but a boxing glove gadget punched him. “Oof!”

Then Homer sat on a bar stool that was actually a cake for Lenny.

“That was a cake shaped like Lenny’s favourite bar stool!” Moe yelled.

“I hardly noticed! That was a work of craftsmanship! Until I sat on it...” said Homer.

“Yeah we hired a great baker to make that Homer. Thanks a lot...” said Carl.

“I’ll just leave. I know where I ain’t wanted...” said Homer glumly.

“Wait Homer.” Ned scraped some cake off of his ass. “Now get outta here ya klutz!” He threw Homer out. “Who wants ass frosting?” Moe asked everyone.

“No thanks. I am on the Atkins.” said Professor Hawkins.

Then Guy Incognito arrived. “Am I late?” He asked.

“No Guy! You’re just in time! But you just missed Homer ruining everything!” said Moe warmly to Guy but ranting about Homer.

“Oh that buffoon!” Guy Incognito sighed.

...

Homer bitter and annoyed with everyone went to another bar. Cue him trying out bars.

He screamed fleeing the angry eye patch guy.

He screamed fleeing the bar from Cheers because a fat character was threatening everyone.

Then Uncle Buck Tamaki went down into the Bar. “Ay Carumba! Kelsey Grammar and Nancy Cartwright!” Fraiser started in Cheers then got his own spin off. Nancy made a cameo in Cheers as a bar table wench.

“Nancyyyyyyy!” Kelsey Grammar yelled like Sideshow Bob.

“Nyaaaaaaagh! Kelsey Grammar!” Nancy yelled like Bart.

Homer grimaced confused and walked off.

Then he went to the lesbian bar again but left realising there was no fire exit.

“Enjoy your fiery tomb ladies!” he sId as he left.

Then he went to a posh Bar.

“Sir can you leave quietly with out a fuss?” asked the snooty waiter.

Homer concussed him with one punch. “Ha! Thought I was a wuss eh?” said Homer smugly. “Bartender get me a beer...”

“Y-ye-yes sir!” said the bartender frightened.

...

Then Lisa’s Story starts. Lisa nursing her sick hamster was further dismayed. Not with Homer but Bart.

“Ugh! Bart why do you always make a mockery of talent show night at school?!” Lisa whitened hearing of Bart’s act. The human garbage can, again...

“What do you mean always?” Bart asked.

“Don’t you remember the last times? Like your boy with a thousand voices...” said Lisa.

“Duuuuuuh! Hello! I’m Principal Skinner!” said Bart in Lisa’s Pony sticking his finger up his nose acting stupid.

The flashback ended.

“Or that time you burped the whole alphabet...” said Lisa.

“A! B! C!” Bart recited the alphabet in loud burps after downing a large bottle of cola.

“Mooooom! Lisa’s making me feel bad about my funny act!” Bart whined adjusting his tie. He was wearing his dorky smart clothes to the school talent show.

“Tell Bart not to turn the school talent show into a circus!” Lisa yelled.

“I’m not! That’s Oscar’s doing because he is going to be a clown this year’s talent show...” Bart sighed as Oscar came into Lisa’s room dressed as a clown with a white face and a big red shiny nose.

Oscar honked his big red shiny clown nose.

...

Marge parked up at the school and went in with Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar. She was carrying Maggie because Homer was out drinking again.

At the talent show a boy with buck teeth played a glasses filled with water instrument from rubbing the glasses to make tones.

Milhouse’s magic act was a spectacular failure as cats attacked him.

Marge felt bad for him.

Martin played Greensleeves on a lute while wearing a stupid green medieval outfit and a sugarloaf hat.

A blue haired boy sung My Dingaling by Chuck Berry until Skinner mistook the lyrics to be rude and dragged him off stage. “This performance is over!” Skinner yelled.

Lisa’s was to play jazz music with her saxophone. Everyone loved it except Mr Largo.

Bart’s was the human trash can.

“Ladies and gentlemen! I am the human trash can! I will swallow anything you throw at me!” said Bart putting a decanting cone into his mouth. Everyone threw junk including money. Bart swallowed this but gagged and had to stop his act. “No more quarters please!”

Lisa was frustrated and annoyed by his stupid act.

Then Krusty was a dandy fop child with a lollipop again. “I wanna bigger lolly...” he said to back stage. Then he realised he was on. “Lalala! I am a happy little boy!” He bit his lollipop but it pulled out his false teeth. He cried embarrassed.

Then Homer came on drunk covered in popcorn kernels again with hair dryers and a radio. He sung fever and used the hair dryers to cook the kernels until the burst. Then he screamed in pain as his suit bursted into white fluffy popcorn and chickens attacked him!

“No! You’re supposed attack me!” Young Link cried.

Barney then drank a six pack in one go and belched. Everyone clapped. “No! I was gonna juggle chickens!” He whined.

Lisa is mortified by the increasingly stupid performances.

“Uh... hi everyone. I’m Milhouse’s Dad. And as you can see I am dressed as urinal...” said Kirk.

Lisa face palms.

“You think you have it rough?” said fan art of Sonic the hedgehog as a urinal.

“Why would you draw that?!” Oscar cried in disgust.

...

Lisa was so mortified that when she got home she wrote a letter to her nerd blog.

Then Bart rode a pig naked through the house. “Yeehaw!”

“Bart! No naked pig riding!” Marge scolded him.

Then at dinner Oscar kept throwing his chocolate pudding at Lisa as it splattered in her face.

“Oh no Lisa! Wearing blackface? That’s terribly racist!” said Oscar taunting her.

“Oscar stop that!” Marge told him.

Someone threw chocolate pudding in Lisa’s face again. “Gah!” she groaned.

“That was Maggie that time...” said Oscar.

Lisa sighed and went upstairs.

She got a reply to her blog from a mysterious blogger. “Lisa S we read and enjoyed your thought provoking letter, if you would like to know more meet us at 13 Euclid street.”

“Now I should know better than to meet strangers off the Internet readers but it’s not what you think...” said Lisa to the fourth wall. “13 Euclid street...”

“I’d rather go to 13 Non-Euclid street! Ia Ia Ia! Cthulhu Phtang!” Oscar yelled invoking Cthulhu!

Lisa sighed at his moronic stupidity.

...

Meanwhile Homer went to more bars to get away from Marge nagging him about the hole in the roof and to spite Moe. Homer went to the pilot bar only to be thrown out for not being a pilot.

Then he got thrown out of the Queen Vic.

“Get outta my pub!” yelled Peggy.

“Stupid British soap operas! Oz...” Homer yelled.

“Hey lay off the British soap operas...” Oscar whined. “Oh Blighty....” he sighed happily walking down Albert Square.

Then Homer went to Hooters. A Hooters waitress slapped him for looking at her boobs.

Then he asked the eyepatch wearing bar tender for a beer and a sympathetic ear.

“I only have a prosthetic ear, Will that do?” The bar tender had a fake ear lobe.

“Is there anything of yours that’s not missing or prosthetic?!” Homer gasped.

Then he imagined a man called Ray wearing an orange flannel shirt eating imaginary nachos and cheese.

Homer chatted to Ray the imaginary man and shared imaginary nachos with him.

“Dude he turned out to be real...” said Homer to the fourth wall.

“Not in my fanon!” I said.

Plot 2[]

Lisa one morning went to 13 Euclid street. She rang the doorbell. A deep voice spoke.

“Lisa Simpson. Are you ready to go on a voyage of self discovery and intellectual debate?”

“I think so.” said Lisa.

“Is that a pie or a quiche?” The voice asked.

“Pie. Apple.” said Lisa.

Voices debated then Lisa was allowed in. To lose her innocence and virginity! Mwuhahahaha!

“No....” Lisa sighed.

“Welcome to Mensa Lisa!” said Skinner.

“It’s a society of geniuses or genii such as myself!” said Professor Frink.

“I know! It’s also a constellation only visible from the Southern Hemisphere.” said Lisa intrigued. Hmmmm stars only visible to one hemisphere. That’s some Cthulhuish, Da Vinci Code conspiracy crap!

“She’s good!” said Dr Hibbert.

“Lisa allow me to introduce everyone. Role call people!” said Skinner. “As you know already I’m your principal Principal Skinner.

“And I’m here too Skinnnnerrrrrr!” said Super Intendant Chalmers.

“Lindsey Naegle, Advanced Capital Revenues.” said Lindsey.

“Oh what do you produce?” Lisa asked.

“Synergy. And books on how to cheat at Bridge.” said Lindsey. “And books on how to be a successful supervillain legally. Because there’s nothing smart about a supervillain that breaks the law, you’d get caught by the authorities or costumed vigilante...”

Lisa grimaced at her being so open with being a supervillain.

“Ahehehehe! Lisa I’m your family doctor Dr Hibbert.” said Dr Hibbert. “You’re also due for your booster shots next Tuesday.”

“Yes Dr Hibbert. I’m sorry Oscar cost you your job over his understandable but frankly obsessive love for my brother Hugo.” said Lisa.

“Since when did Treehouse of Horror characters count as main canon?! Feh!” said Comic Book Guy. Since I became your new author tubby! Now shut it!

Lisa read the message on his T Shirt.

“C Dos Run slash Run Dos Run! Hahahaha! Only one person in a million would find that funny!”

“Yes we call that the Dennis Miller ratio.” said Frink.

“Dennis Miller? Didn’t he cause all those suicides?” Lisa asked.

“Murder suicides!” Hibbert corrected her giggling. “Ahehehehe!”

“Well Lisa you know Professor Frink.” said Skinner.

“Yes he’s the town scientist.” said Lisa.

“Mad scientist! Well I’m not mad, I’m quite sane. But I do do the crazy movie science! Like Frankenstein! And mutations! As well as normal science.” said Frink yelling.

“There’s also Robot Pierce Brosnan.” said Skinner.

“Charmed Lisa. Can I get you an Iced Tea? Shaken, not stirred.” said Robot Pierce Brosnan from Treehouse of Horror XII.

“Didn’t you try to murder my Dad?!” Lisa asked him.

“Yes but I have been reprogrammed in accordance to Issac Asimov’s laws... I cannot hurt anyone now.” said Robot Pierce.

“And they also invited me Sis.” said Hugo arriving on his hover bike.

“Oh great... this is going to be real fun...” said Lisa sarcastically.

...

At home. “Homer you still haven’t fixed that roof!” Marge nagged as he went out with Bart and Oscar and the dog. “First we’re off to see Grampa. Then we have to take Santa’s Little Helper to the V E T.” Santa’s little Helper barked confused. “Then we need to take Bart to get “C I R C U M S I S E D.”

“Uh?” Bart asked.

“Oh my god! Your parents converted to Judaism! Run Bart Run before the cut your dingus skin!” Oscar ran off with Bart in terror. Bart ran off screaming.

Marge sweat dropped.

“Marge is that true? Are we Jewish now?” Homer asked.

“No! It’s a medical Circumsisn!” said Marge.

“Yeah right! Keep that rabbi away from my wiener!” Bart yelled.

Jurkle putting out his rubbish shook his head embarrassed by this scene.

“Anyway, when are you gonna get our roof fixed? I woke up this morning to an owl eating a rat on my pillow...” said Marge.

“Could be worse. He could be having tea with Winnie the Pooh!” said Homer. “Don’t worry! Ray is helping me!”

“Homer stop going on about your imaginary friend! God that’s more annoying than that time Rik Mayall as Drop Dead Fred stayed over!” Marge scolded Homer.

There was a cutaway. The Simpsons had invited Rik Mayall over. He came as his character Drop Dead Fred. But Patty and Selma were also visiting.

“Is it? It is!! The Mega Bitch! Let me at her!” Rik Nayall yelled. Looking at Patty.

...

Meanwhile at Mensa.

“I heard they are dumbing down the library! Last month when my mom took us and read three historical stories about King Henry VIII, Sacajawea and Mozart, they threw out all the books and invited in all the town hobos to sleep in there!” said Lisa.

“I heard they turned the adult literature section into a make your own sundae bar...” said Lindsey drinking tea.

“Woohoo!” Homer at the library cheered as he made himself a big ice cream sundae.

“Mmmmmmmm! Ice cream....” said Oscar dripping Chocolate ice cream all over the books.

“I heard they turned the references desk into an air hockey table!” said Dr Hibbert.

“Cooooool!” said Bart playing air hockey in the library with Nelson.

“They got rid of the microfilms?!” Skinner gasped.

“Even the microfibre...” said Hibbert. Mmmmmm fibre...

At home, Homer and his imaginary friend played with nail guns.

Then after Ray had to go because his pager said his son committed something.

“I wish these pagers wouldn’t cut off half the message. Gotta go Homer.” said Ray.

Then Homer fell through the hole into the attic.

The family arrive home with Bart wearing a black yarmulke.

“No Narrator. We didn’t get it done...” said Marge.

Bart’s yarmulke vanished. “Awwww...” he groaned.

“Homer that’s my wedding dress! Get off of it!” said Marge. “And why is the hole in the roof even bigger...” said Marge.

“Well at least I get sunlight now.” said Hugo standing in the sunlight shining through the hole in the roof.

“Homer enough of this Ray business! Hire a roofer! Or I will!” Marge nagged.

“Fine...” Homer sighed.

...

Meanwhile Oscar invited Rik Mayall around again.

“HELLO SNOTFACE!” Rik yelled as Fred.

Marge sighed.

Oscar played with Rik Mayall in the Simpsons world and the Go Home universe.

They were playing with Oscar’s toys.

Fred found some dolls. “Hello Jemima! Hello Susie! You’re gonna die!! Aaaaaagh!” said Fred biting the head off a doll and throwing the other across the room.

“Mr Poo! You die too!” said Fred finding a monkey teddy.

“No Fred! Not Mr Poo!” Oscar protested.

“No no no! Yes yes yes!” Fred made disturbed yells as he ripped up the monkey toy. “Not my in intestines! Not my intestines!” He cried as Mr Poo.

“Uh... lets just blame Mom for that like when she killed Dolpha.” said Oscar.

“Oscaaaaar!” His mom yells angry.

“Uh oh...” said Oscar.

“Is it? Oh yes!! The Mega Bitch! Let me at her!” Fred ran off.

“Sure!” said Oscar smirking.

His mom was on the phone to someone.

“Give me an Axe! No give me a chainsaw! I’m gonna slice her into tiny pieces!” Fred yelled.

“Um...” Oscar’s siblings asked.

Then Mom breathed. Fred choked. “The death breath! She got me with the death breath! Begone! Evil one!”

“I think this is so much more fun...” said Oscar joining his family.

Fred got his head slammed in the fridge door With a cartoon splat.

“Rik... or Fred... you have a thing for your head in fridge doors...” Oscar sighed.

“That was Eddie‘s fault that one time!” said Fred trying to pull his head out of the fridge in a cartoony fashion. With sound effects...

He managed to but had a squashed head like Stewie.

“What the deuce! You look like Stewie from Family Guy!” Oscar yelled.

“My head! She squashed my head! The bitch! She squashed my head! The evil one reigns supreme!” Fred yelled.

...

Meanwhile in Springfield Mensa had a medieval renaissance fayre. Well technically if you want to be historically accurate renaissance only. Ie Copernicus.

“Coool! A renaissance fayre! I feel so historical! Like we stepped back in time!” said Lisa with one of those cone hats on as a lady in waiting.

“Ah Lisa Doth speak renaissance only! You’re out of character.” said Frink as a renaissance scientist.

“Oops!” said Lisa.

“Copernicus! Stop looking down my bra!” Lindsey yelled at Comic Book Guy who was Copernicus.

“I was simply debating that the earth revolves round the sun not the other way round!” said Comic Book Guy.

“Blasphemy!” Lovejoy yelled.

“Crush them! In the name of Jebus!” said Pope/Archdeacon Homer.

Lisa sighed.

“Well I’m Leonardo Da Vinci.” said Hugo. “Unfortunately Oscar got the wrong idea when I said we go as the four masters of Italian Renaissance...”

“Cowabunga!” Oscar yelled dressed as Michaelangelo, the turtle...

Hugo sweat dropped.

“Hey those drunks took our gazebo!” said Skinner.

“Maybe we should ask nicely.” said Lisa.

They did so.

“Beat it.” said drunk Lenny rudely.

“But.”

“What part of beat it don’t you poindexters get?” Lenny yelled.

“None but you are extremely rude! Ow!” Lisa yelled but Lenny threw a duff bottle at her.

“Well that does it... gazebo three is being used by some she males...” said Skinner. Mmmmmm She males.... “gazebo eight has a rather unpleasant spider in it.” Gazebo eight was occupied by a giant man eating spider hissing at passers by. “And the less said about six the better.”

“But that’s not fair! Why do the stupid and agressive get to tell us what to do! Someone call the cops on those drunks!” Lisa whined.

“Unfortunately Wiggum is joining them...” said Hugo.

“Lisa’s right! It is unfair that the stupid, the violent and the corrupt run things! Why if we geniuses ran this town we could turn it into a utopia!” said Frink.

Plot 3[]

At home Homer was annoyed he had to hire a roofer and spend money as such. A worker was fixing the roof.

“I don’t get it Homer. We could both do the work for free!” said Ray.

“Marge says you’re imaginary and don’t really exist...” said Homer. “Like Drop Dead Fred Rik Mayall.

Rik Mayall was smacking pigeons with a shovel. “Pigeon pie for you!” He yelled trying to hit the pigeons.

“Aaaaaaaghh! No! Leave the pidgeys alone you nut job! Raaaaaagh! Losing ability to speak coherently from rage!” Hugo angrily chased Rik.

“Shut up Snot face! I’ll drive a stake right through your heart!” Rik yelled.

Ace hissed at him. And bared his fangs.

Meanwhile Lisa and Mensa explained to a Mayor West and vice Mayor Quimby that under the town charter the geniuses are allowed to take control of the town.

“Hey it also says Ducks have to wear long pants!” said Wiggum.

“Squaaaaaalalalalaghh! You’ll never censor my nudity!” Donald Duck in a sailor costume yelled and stormed off.

Everyone sweat dropped.

“It also says the chief of police gets a woman of comfort and pleasure or a concubine...” said Wiggum.

“Chief you’re married. Now are we all in agreement about what the charter says.” said Skinner.

“About the ducks in long pants?” said West.

“No! That a council of learned people can run the town in certain circumstances like this one!” said Skinner.

“Oh. Well Quimby lets go off somewhere nice to retire. I hear a Tahiti is lovely this time of year.” said Mayor West retiring so the geniuses can rule.

“We the people, blah blah blah... cruel and unusual... yak yak yak... ritual circumcision...”

“Ay carumba!” Hugo yelled at the mention of circumcision.

...

At home the final straw for Rik Mayall was when he decided to get loads of dog poo on his shoes and smoosh it all over the lounge and the couch.

“Lovely, lovely smelly dog poo!” He sung while doing this.

Rik was thrown out by Homer.

He went off somewhere to bother someone else.

Elsewhere Mensa discussed new laws. “Such as all traffic lights are now red and amber.” said Frink.

This caused a horrible road accident.

“And I built a sarcasm detector!” said Hugo.

“Oh a sarcasm detector! Real useful!” said Comic Book Guy.

Hugo’s sarcasm detector blew up.

“Oh thanks Comic Book Guy...” Hugo groaned.

“I am working to reduce female obesity!” said Comic Book Guy.

“Oh please! There’s no such thing!” said Lindsey.

“Hey there smart folks! I just bought some cake!” said Dia-Betty Spuckler.

“Now come along Dia-Betty... remember what the doctor said...” said Cleatus guiding Dia Betty away.

“Well I put on a shadow puppet show.” said a Skinner.

“Thai or Balinese?” Lindsey asked.

“Why not both? Then everyone is happy.” said Hugo.

I uh... don’t get that line Matt...

...

However when it came to instating the laws at the gazebos. They got one without drunks, she males or giant man eating spiders. The Mensa nerds couldn’t agree because Frink and Comic Book Guy kept making stupid decisions that annoyed everyone.

“All bloodsports are banned such as bullfighting and cockfighting.” said Frink.

Lisa smiled and agreed this was a sensible law despite the angry response from Springfield’s people.

However. “And boxing, both kick and boxing glove versions. In fact all martial arts and hockey and football and anything involving contact and taking off your shirt...” said Frink.

“Now wait just a minute Professor!” Lindsey gasped.

“Ahem! It is by my decree that the Vulcans have the best society so therefore I decree everyone can only have sex every seven years! That means a lot less breeding for everyone except me which is not much different as usual...” said Comic Book Guy.

“And giant living teddy bears with six inch fangs!” said Oscar.

“That... is a word for word description from Spock! But! It was a wry or sarcastic description about sehlats to Dr Bones McCoy...” said Comic Book Guy.

His Vulcan laws about only breeding every seven years annoyed everyone.

“Ya cannae do that! Ya don’t have the power!” Willie yelled.

“Hehehehe! There had to be a Scotsman in a Star Trek debate!” Oscar laughed.


“People this man does not speak for the council of Alphas!” said Frink.

“I thought we were Mensa!” said Lisa.

“When are we gonna get to my broccoli juice programme?” Hibbert asked.

“Aaaaaaagh! Deadly broccoli!” Bart screamed.

The Mensa geniuses then argued over their IQ. “I’m the smartest! My IQ is 170!” said Comic Book Guy.

“Which makes you mentally retarded... the average IQ is 180...” Said Hugo reading a book of facts.

“Well my IQ is 197! Oof!” Frink hit his head on a gazebo post. “196... 195...”

“Big deal. My IQ is 280.” said a computer voice.

“Professor Stephen Hawking?!” Lisa gasped.

“What brings you here Professor?” Skinner asked.

“I have come to see your utopia. But I see it is more of a fruit topia.” Mmmmm! Fruit topia...

“I’m sure what Professor Hawking means is-“ said Skinner.

“Silence! I don’t need you to speak for me! Only my chair.” said Professor Hawking.

“Larry Flynn is right! You stink!” Homer yelled.

“Larry Flynt! LARRY FLYNT! LARRY FLYNT! LARRY FLYNT!” Lisa screamed in a tirade.

“Oh great! Homer you got her ranting about Larry a Flynt again...” Marge sighed.

“She sure hates that Larry Flynt...” said Homer.

Lisa was still screaming about Larry Flynt.

“As a fellow genius I am ashamed of you Mensa.” said Stephen Hawking.

“Now you listen here you Quantum mechanics Professor!” Skinner picked a fight with him.

“Bring it on Momma’s boy...” said Stephen Hawking.

“Hey you! Oof!” Hawking used the boxing glove gadget to punch him. This started a riot.

“I say we take back this town for the stupid people!” said Homer.

“Yes! Let us make litter of these literary scholars!” said Sideshow Mel.

“Hey! He’s smart as they are! Get him!” Lenny yelled and they heated up Mel.

“Time for this Hawk to fly.” said Professor Hawking. His chair brushed his teeth with a toothbrush. “Wrong gadget...” a helicopter blade emerged and spun about as he flew away.

“Professor help!” Lisa cried. Professor Hawking went down a mechanical Dr Octopus claw and it grabbed Lisa hauling her to safety.

...

Lisa and Professor Hawking land in a field far away from the riot but within a brisk walk for Lisa’s family to reunite with her.

“Thank you Professor Hawking.” said Lisa.

“No thank you Lisa, for being the only smart person today other than myself. I’d be honoured to be your teacher.” said Stephen Hawking.

Lisa blushed. “Thank you Professor.

Lisa’s family the Simpsons arrive.

“Hey Lisa had fun with your robot pal?” Homer asked.

“Daaaaad! He is not a robot! He is a brilliant man! And a brilliant scientist! Who unfortunately has ALS or Lateral Sclerosis...” Lisa whined.

They debated the moral of this story that sometimes even geniuses can be fools sometimes.

“Except me. I’m perfect.” said Hawking.

“Yeah sure Professor.” said Bart.

“Eh, he was the only sane man when we all lost how heads over the Large Hadron Collider...” said Hugo.

“The Large Hadron Collider means no harm.” said Hawking.

“That’s what people said about Nelson Mandela! Now he is a rogue time wizard disrupting time subtly by giving us false memories of nostalgia!” Oscar ranted.

“Mwuhahahaha! Time is mine to control!” said Nelson Mandela piloting a steampunk time machine And flying away.

They continued their profound discussion ignoring Oscar.

“Well I must go now Lisa.” said Stephen Hawking flying away in his wheelchair.

The end!

Advertisement