Lisa goes to Washington Lisa applies for a writing competition in a hobbies magazine Homer brings home to better his life and encounters a corrupt senator who forces her to question her faith in democracy.
Homer opens the mail to find he's won one million dollars!
"Woohoo!" He cheers. Unfortunately it's a phony check and the bank won't accept it. He leaves crestfallen.
Homer then brings home a hobby magazine. It gives him and the family ideas to better their lives. For example it gives Homer ideas in the bedroom to spice up his love life... eeeew! And one dinner it gives Marge a recipe for meatloaf men!
"Little meatloaf men!!" Bart cheers as he grabs one from the baking tray that is still searing hot and has to juggle the steaming hot meatloaf treat.
"Bart, careful they're still extremely hot!" Marge warns him.
Then Homer reads a sexist cartoon in the magazine and laughs. “Hehehe! It’s true!”
“No it most certainly is not! It is a well documented fact that women are far safer drivers then men!” Marge argued.
At work Homer is not hungry at lunch.
“What happened? You got your stomach stapled?” Lenny asked.
“No... look in the words of Tolstoy, Give me learning Sir, and you may keep your black bread.” said Homer. “And black water...”
Bubbles, an online fan fiction writer and SJW turned beetroot and got very angry.
“Reeeeeeeeeeeee! That triggers me! Stop with the black bread and black water in Hades!”
At home the Simpsons except Homer are watching Troy McClure in something.
“And now Troy McClure and Delores Montenegro in Preacher with a Shovel.”
“But irrigation can save your people, Chief Smiling Bear!” said a guy to a bear wearing an Indian chief feather headdress.
A bear roars and a man screams as he is mauled to death.
Homer is being mean again. “Look at them Marge, watching that idiot box... you’d think that for once in their lives they’d pick up a book to read!”
“Homer you watch the TV too...” Marge sighed.
Homer switched the TV off.
“Hey!” The kids whined.
Homer then makes everyone read a story from the magazine that ends on a cliffhanger as to whether the character survived or not. “And then he heard the pitiless call of a sea lion!! Oh my god! He’ll be killed!”
"Did he survive?" Bart asks.
"I dunno." Homer replies.
"Well of course he did to write the story, it's a documentary about creatures of the ocean..." Marge explained turning the lights on after Homer switched them off for dramatic effect.
Homer then finds a competition with a prize holiday to Washington.
"Oh! A free all expenses paid trip to Washington DC! Oh... it's for kids..." Homer gives the magazine to Lisa. She reads it.
"Hmmm, 800 words on politics... I think I'll give it a go!" Lisa decides to enter the writing competition.
"Woohoo! The Simpsons are going to Washington!"
Lisa is in her room writing the Essay. “Hmmmmm... what to write about...” she’s a bit stuck on it. Suddenly America as a bald eagle arrived and landed in a tree near the house and spreads it’s wings. Hail to the Chief played.
“God bless America!” Homer cried when he saw the eagle. This gave Lisa an idea.
Meanwhile Oscar who for some reason is a nerd or trying to be one this episode.
“Hmmmm... what would Ben Franklin say if he was alive today...” said Oscar thinking and chewing his pencil.
“He’d realise it’s a really stupid idea to fly a kite in a lightning storm!” said Bart.
Lisa finishes her essay and sends it in.
The competition judges like it so much she gets into the finals along with Martin and Nelson. Nelson is on stage reading his.
"By all means burn our flag. But you better burn a few other things as well like your hospitals and your schools because you can't have those without red and white stripes and a hell lot of stars!" Everyone starts clapping.
"Woohoo! Go Nelson!" Bart cheers.
"Stick it to those wretched flag burning liberals!" Oscar yells.
"Guys!! Patriotism is wonderful and all, but we're a democracy! And people have a right to freedom of speech!" Lisa whines.
The judge calls Lisa up to read her essay, everyone loves it. The Simpsons won their holiday to Washington where Lisa will be competing for the grand prize against other skilled writers from across the states.
While Oscar’s failed miserably...
“We the purple?! What the hell were you thinking?!” Martin yells at Oscar.
“I got side tracked by my Plot for a Planet of the apes sequel called Planet of the Grapes...” said Oscar.
They fly off to America, but Bart annoys the man in front of him by kicking the back of his chair. so he's taken to the cockpit to have a guided tour.
"I just want to push some buttons. What's this do?" Bart pushes a button.
"Nooooo!" The pilot yells. It drops down the oxygen masks.
"We're all going to die!" Homer yells. Everyone screams.
On landing they get a guided tour to their hotel.
"Look Homer! The IRS building!" Marge points out the IRS building.
"Booooooo!" Homer boos it.
A man looks out the window, annoyed. "Oh boo yourself!"
They arrive at their hotel and are given VIP necklaces that let them go anywhere. However Homer doesn't know what VIP stands for so the lady has to explain it, repeatedly.
Lisa meets the other students who have entered.
In their rooms Homer eats the free mints, Marge admires the bathroom and Bart and Lisa fight over the beds. Bart has done something to Lisa's.
“Bart! What did you do to this bed!?” Lisa yelled.
“Nothing...” said Bart.
“Baaaaart!” Lisa yelled.
At 2 o'clock in the morning Homer receives a wake up call.
"But it's 2 AM!" Homer whines.
"Too bad, fatso!" replies the caller. Homer works out it's Bart.
"Bart! It's 2 AM! Go to sleep!" Homer yells. ...
They go to a money factory and Homer drools on the workers. "Mmmmm, money..."
"Hey! Watch it boss!" A Raphael voiced worker yells.
Then they go to see the Clinton obelisk. Marge giggles and makes an inappropriate joke about it.
“Oh Marge... grow up...” Homer sighed.
Then around the pool the Clinton monument overlooked Verne from Back to the Future with a nineteenth century pony tail dressed as a nineteenth century boy was humming “Glory, glory, hallelujah!”
“Hmmmmmm!hmmm!hmmm! Hmmm! Hmmmmmmm!”
Oscar pushed him into the pool.
Then they stumble upon the president's bathroom while Barbara Bush is having a bath.
"Oh! Goodness!" She gasps in shock. "Oh, I see you have those damn necklaces. Well I suppose you'll be wanting a history of this room..." She explains the origins of the bathroom and important facts about it. Suddenly George Bush Sr comes in.
"Barbara! Goodness! What are you people doing in my bathroom?!" George Bush Sr yells.
"They have those VIP necklaces George..." Barbara explains.
"Oh I see. But surely you people have the sense not to waltz about people's private property?!" George Bush Sr is flabbergasted. The Simpsons leave Barbara to her bath.
"Sorry about that Mr President!" Lisa apologised.
"That's okay, little girl. Just don't go in people's bathrooms in future!"
"Hey, George, why are you wearing a dressing gown?" Bart asks.
"Tch! It's a bathrobe! And little boy... Kids don't normally address grownups by their first names..." The president explained with a heavy sigh.
"Why not?" Bart asked.
"Barbara!" George yelled as Bart was getting annoying,
"George, they're just visitors! How about you show them around?"
"Ah yes... You must be Lisa Simpson, the smart little girl taking part in the essay competition. I'll have my PA show you around the place." George Bush Sr called his PA who took the Simpsons away on a tour of the White House away from George.
Later Bart orders room service for a massage. However Homer comes back to the room.
"Aaaaaaaagh!" Homer screams realising Bart has ordered a room service.
"Dad! It's not what it looks like!" Bart yells.
"I'll room service you!" Homer yells angrily.
"Remember it's all expenses paid!" Bart yells.
However Homer has calmed down realising it was already paid for as all inclusive. He laughs as he joins Bart in a massage on the bed next to him. Homer also orders cigars.
Lisa goes to visit the local congressman. However before her family comes in he is up to something dodgy with a lobbyist that wants to cut down a forest that's in the way of building a factory. He quickly shoos the man away and lets Lisa in.
After a friendly chat with Lisa and her family, Bob Arnold sends them on their way and discretely asks the lobbyist to meet him somewhere more private where he does back room deals.
Lisa is stuck on her essay and goes to ask the Abraham Lincoln statue for help but it's crowded with people asking it questions. So Lisa goes to visit Thomas Jefferson's statue which has no visitors.
"Mr Jefferson, I need some advice..." Lisa asks. Not expecting a statue to answer. However the statue comes to life.
"Oh, I suppose you're only here because the a Lincoln memorial was too full! Not that I did anything important except sign the Declaration of Independence!"
"Aaaaaaaagh!" Lisa screams and runs off.
"Please don't go, I get so lonely..." Thomas groans.
Lisa then visits a memorial to women's rights and suffrage. It's a statue of a woman snapping a broom in half. However Lisa hears voices and hides. She sees Bob Arnold and the lobbyist from earlier. Bob accepts a bribe from him symbolically accepting Springfield forest will be destroyed by yelling "Timber!" and slamming the suitcase shut and laughing. They make catcalls and whistle at the statue.
Lisa cries and rips up her essay realising she can't read it knowing how corrupt Washington is. She sits on the steps outside a building and imagines everyone as pigs eating money from a trough and fat cats in suits walking about.
"It's true! There is a stench of corruption!" Lisa whispers harshly as she writes down her new essay.
At the essay reading party, the pink haired lady announces all the judges and an annoying man plays annoying music on a piano.
Then the finalists read their essays.
A tough guy kid/80s guy goes bing and boom everytime he reads a point from his essay.
A girl with glasses from Bart's old gifted school reads a recipe for a democracy like she's writing a recipe for a cake...
A yokel kid is up next. "My skin is yellow. My back is spineless. I am a typical American!" said the yokel.
A Chinese kid is up afterwards his essay is how he is grateful for America letting his family in with its generous economy which unlike China's restricted communist economy allowed his family to rise from penniless migrants to successful businessmen.
Lisa arrives late, angry and demanding she reads a new essay. The host allows her to.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. The city of Washington was built on a stagnant swamp some 200 years ago and very little has changed. It stank then and it stinks now! (Everyone gasps in offence.) Only this time, it's the stench of corruption that hangs in the air!" Lisa reads fiercely.
"Cool! Controversy!" Bart coos.
"And who do I see, but the so-called 'honorable' Bob Arnold taking a bribe! Don't worry America, you can buy all the votes you need with your dirty money, and this will be one nation under the dollar with liberty and justice for none." Lisa finishes her essay.
Page the spotty judge desperately calls his father, a senator. (Who looks exactly like the prosecutor at Krusty's trial for shoplifting...)
"Son please! I'm busy!"
"But a little girl is losing faith in democracy!" Page explains.
"Good lord!" The senator and Page's father gasps.
There is then a long winded exchange of phone calls and events leading to a sting operation where Bob Arnold gets arrested for accepting bribes and is fired from his job.
George Bush Sr then is speaking to a representative of the UN explaining he works for the American people all 250 million of them.
The winners are announced. An Asian kid wins but he explains Lisa should be praised for her fight for justice. Then the annoying man sings again so Bart shoots him with his slingshot.
"Bart!" Lisa yells.
"Hey, you taught me to stand up for what I believe in..." Bart retorts.
"That was awesome Bart. That'll teach him to be annoying..." Oscar encourages Bart. They high five. Lisa sighs.
They buy a newspaper on the way back to their hotel that reads Bob Arnold has been fired and imprisoned for taking bribes.
"The system works!" Lisa is glad justice was eventually served.