Simpsons Fanon

Lisa Needs Braces Lisa needs braces and Mr Burns cancels the plant dental plan and Homer quickly finds himself leading a strike to reinstate it. Meanwhile Oscar gets an opportunity to use his weapons for good when he and Bart join the CIA as junior agents.


Bart and Homer are watching McBain.

“With McBain disposed of, nothing can stop us from flooding the drugs black market with this! Swank!” Mendoza boasted as from out of a secret panel in the floor came a podium with a test tube of a blue fizzing liquid in it. “Nine times more addictive than Marijuana! Mwuhahahaha!”

His minions laugh too.

Suddenly McBain breaks out of the ice sculpture.

”McBain?!” Mendoza gasped.

”Ice to see you...” McBain quotes and pulls out a huge machine gun and guns everyone down!

”Coooooool!” said Bart.

”Homer that movie is too violent for Bart!” Marge gasped. But he watched it anyway.

McBain is shooting up the party of evil villains and henchmen. He even kills an innocent band of classic string quartets. They might be undercover assassins of Mendoza’s organisation. A guy eating cake dies, then another henchman takes his slice of cake and gets shot too. After McBain kills all of his henchmen Mendoza offers him a salmon puff.

“McBain! Have a salmon puff!” Mendoza begs him. Offering a tray of salmon puffs.

”Okay.” said McBain taking one.

However they’re laced with knock out gas. McBain is knocked unconscious. Mendoza laughs evilly.

“Wow. Dad do you think anyone is actually that evil?” asked Bart.

“No of course not.’ said Homer.

We cut to Mr Burns laughing evilly at a window cleaner dangling from a rope. Mr Burns laughs cruelly at the man before shutting the curtains on him, the man falls screaming to his death.

Back at home.

”Bart put your sneakers on! You and your sisters have a dentist appointment.” said Marge.

Bart groaned as he disliked going to the dentist. Like most mischievous pranksters in the media. Ie American and British Dennis, Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes...

Marge and a few other mothers are taking their children to the dentist. Ralph is up first.

"Ralph how many times a day do you brush?" asks the scary dentist.

"Three times a day."

"Why must you turn my surgery into a house of lies?!" The Hannibal Lecture dentist scolds him. "Let's look at a few British smiles. He has a book on British people with bad teeth. By the fourth picture Ralph breaks under the torture.

"No! No more! I don't brush! I don't bruuuush!" Ralph cries and sobs.

In the waiting room Oscar wants to read a Radioactive Man comic but another boy with his mother is reading it. The boy, not the mother... So Oscar takes the jug full of water for watering the waiting room flowers and covertly pours it on the boy’s lap while whistling nonchalantly.

”Jimmy! That’s it! You’re going back to wearing diapers!” The mom yelled dragging her son out of the waiting room because she thought he had wet himself. Oscar snickered evilly as he took the Radioactive Man comic and read it.

Next is Maggie.

"Maggie's teeth are coming in crooked. Has she been sucking on a pacifier?"

"Um no..." Marge lies.

"You lie!!" the dentist yells. However he calms down upon examining Lisa. "Lisa's are already crooked. She'll need braces."

"Braces? Oh no! I'll be the laughing stock of the whole school!" Lisa groaned.

"Does she have to?" Marge asks.

"Have a look for yourself. Here she is now. (He shows progressively more disturbing pictures of her teeth growing malformed) aged 12. 14. 16 and finally 18!" The last picture is her with a massive overgrown fang bursting through her eyeball from the lower jaw.

"Cool! She'll be a freak!" Bart cooed.

"Bart!" Marge scolded him.

"We have two options. These state of the art braces are nearly invisible."

"That's good." Lisa says with a smile.

"They cost four thousand dollars."

"Oh my!" Haven't you got anything cheaper?" Marge asks.

"That's the other option. These." He shows an old ugly overly complex set of cartoonish braces that looks like the mouth guard on an American football helmet. They're very dirty. "Made of stainless steel so you can't get them wet."

"Hrrrrm..." Marge and Lisa hrrrrrm.


At the plant Mr Burns I'd going through his expenses. He is horrified at the amount he's spending.

“Green cookies on St Patrick’s day?!”

“Health insurance?” He gasps reading the worker entitlements. “Things weren’t like this when I was a boy! No way!”

There is a flashback of Mr Burns as a boy being taken around his grandfather’s atom smashing factory. A squeaky voiced Teen worker is found with atoms in his pocket and taken away for stealing atoms apparently.

“You can’t do this! We’ll unionise! Then we’ll become shiftless and ask for too much! Then the Japanese will eat us alive!” cried the young worker.

“Bah! The Japanese?! Those sandal wearing goldfish tenders?! Flimshaw!” Grandfather Burns replied.

In the present.

“Grandfather should have listened to that boy instead of walling him up in the coke oven...” Mr Burn sighed.

He then wanted to know where someone was but he had, had them buried alive under a football field. During a football game a man trips over a hastily buried person.

”Hey!” said the football player after he tripped over.

"Smithers! What is this expense? Dental plan?!" he asks.

"The workers are entitled to that for their teeth." Smithers explained.

"Well no more! I'm cancelling it!" said Mr Burns.

”Sir that’s illegal... they could sue you for that...” Smithers warned. “Successfully...”

”Bah! Flim shaw!” said Mr Burns.


Meanwhile at the dentist Oscar reads the great book of British smiles. He was offended! Especially by the picture of British Lois Griffin with bad teeth and Prince Charles.

”That does it!!” He snapped. “This publisher! Wormstrom and Sons LTD. will be hearing from my lawyers! For their racist caricatures!” Oscar took off his bib and stormed off.

”But your routine check up!” The Hannibal Lecter dentist asked.

”I have a slanderous publisher to sue!” Oscar called back. “And case you didn’t twig it, I’m British!”

”I kinda guessed...” said the dentist as Oscar stormed off.


News spreads that the dental plan has been cancelled. Lenny who is the union rep calls everyone in and explains what's happened and they protest.

"All in favour?"


"And against?"

"Nay." says a Droopy like voice.

The Tex Avery wolf grimaced exasperated as he drank his coffee.

Hehehe... Droopy...


At home.

"Homer, Lisa needs braces. Your dental plan can cover that right?" Marge asks.

"Mr Burns cancelled it." Homer explained.

"Oh my! That's outrageous!"

"And illegal..." Lisa adds.

"That's why Lenny's calling a strike. They need someone to lead it."

"How about you?" Marge asks.

"I don't know anything about striking?!"

"You just need a cause. Like your daughters braces."

Homer then goes on to say how his friends mock his girlish laughter and poke him.

“Hmmmmm! They don’t sound like friends... they seem to be bullying you Homer...” said Marge.

“You’re right Marge! They were bullying me! Right that’s it! First thing tomorrow I’m punching Lenny in the back of the head!” said Homer.

The next morning he punches Lenny in the back of the head while he is drinking his coffee causing him to drop it and spit coffee everywhere.


Later the ballot continues.

"Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces!" Homer's thoughts repeat themselves.

A worker drops a pencil down Homer's exposed butt crack.

"Bullseye!" The men guffaw.

"Oh thanks Mike! Now I've lost my train of thought!" Homer yells. Eventually he is thinking about Lenny saying Dental Plan and Marge saying Lisa needs Braces again.

"Wait!" Homer grabs the mike from Lenny. "We need this dental plan! I need it for my daughter, Lisa's braces. Lenny where would your diamond tooth be without a dental plan?" Lenny grins exposing his diamond which someone promptly steals with a "Yoink!" "And Toothless Joe, where would you be without a dental plan?" Homer asks the plant's oldest worker.

"Without ol' chipper? I don't know where I'll be." The old man uses his only tooth to pop open a can of Buzz cola.

"My point exactly! I say we all strike until Mr Burns reinstates our Dental plan!" Everyone cheers.

"All in favour of a strike?" Lenny asks.


"And against..."

"Nay." says the Droopy voice.

"Who keeps saying that?!"" Homer asks loudly. The crowd parts to reveal Droopy dog looking awkward.

"It was him!" he points to a blond muscular man sitting in a chair. "Let's get him fellas!" They beat up the blond man. Droopy stands back and snickers.


The next day Homer's union is striking. However Homer's more interested in getting a breakfast burrito.

"Where's my Burrito! Where's my burrito! Where's my burrito! Where's my- Ahhh! Ooooow! My head!" The lid of the serving area falls on him.

”And this is the scar I got from the shutter falling on me...” said Homer holding up his shirt at home in the kitchen.

”Eeeeeew!” said everyone.


Elsewhere Lisa is having her braces installed. The dentist puts her under with laughing gas. Lisa goes to sleep and dreams a surreal dream featuring flowers with eyes and hands. The Ironhead fish boss fight in Cave Story and the Beatles in a yellow submarine in space.

“Look! Lisa’s flying in the sky!” said George.

”No diamonds on her though...” said Ringo Starr.

Lucy the upright ape ancestor of humans hooted and screeched. “Ah! Ah! Ah!”

They crash into a picture of Queen Victoria and moan "Oh help us! God help us" while falling. The dream then ends.

"And we're done." says the dentist.

"The mirror." Lisa asks for the mirror to see what she looks like. But he's reluctant to give it to her as he can already see how hideous she looks. "The mirror!" he hands it over. Lisa laughs madly before dropping the mirror.

Later on photo day every kid is having their yearly photo.

Parents are there making their children look smart and adjusting their ties, brushing their hair.

”Ralph you have lice?!” Sarah gasped.

Amusingly Nelson is dressed like a geek in geeky checkered clothes and his often absent father has returned from his eternal shopping trip for cigarettes to see to it that his son is smart for photograph day!

“Turn down those cowlicks! Milhouse don’t wag your eyebrows! Uncross those eyes!” Skinner rants.

“I can’t sir!” said a boy with crossed eyes.

“Oh sorry Quigley.” said Skinner.

"Smile dear." The photographer asks Lisa to smile. She does reluctantly. "There is no god!" The man gasps when he sees her ugly braces. She shuts her mouth and frowns.

Plot 2[]

Bart is put on a boot camp for misbehaving really badly at school. Today they're at the gun range. Both him and Oscar are assigned grenade launchers because of their short arms. They both excel with Oscar getting 6 out of 6 targets and Bart getting 5 out of 6.

"Excellent work Bart, but you missed your last target." says the camp sergeant.

"Oh did I...?" Bart asks with a smirk. It's revealed he was deliberately aiming for Skinner's car and blew it up just as Skinner was about to get in.

They are then put on a fitness course but Bart curses while doing it and is scolded by the sergeant.

"Now drop and give me twenty boy!" The sergeant yells. Bart eventually finishes his push ups. "And wash out that mouth of yours!"

”My killing teacher says I’m a real natural...” said Oscar to a cadet while the drill sergeant is speaking.

”No talking in line! Drop down and give me twenty!” barked the drill sergeant.

”Nooooooooooooo!” Oscar screamed dramatically.


Meanwhile the union is losing the will to strike. So Lisa decides to play some music to help. She can't use her saxophone so she borrowed a guitar from the school.

She plays surprisingly well as she plays the guitar.

“Come gather round children. It’s high time ye learned. Bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns.” Lisa sung. “We’ll march till we drop. All the girls and the fellas. We’ll fight to the death or else fold like umbrellas.”

"So we march day and night, by the big cooling tower. They have the plant, but we have the power..." Lisa continues to sing while playing her guitar.

"Now do classical jazz." Lenny asks Lisa.

"I can't without my saxophone. Mr Lenny I'm trying to keep up spirits." She plays her song again.

”So we march day and night, by the big cooling tower! They have the plant but we have the power!”

Meanwhile Oscar somehow takes leave from Military school to attend his lawsuit against the big book of British Smiles.

”And so we have in court today the case of Oscar Tamaki and the entire British Isles vs Wormstrom and Sons LTD Publishing. On the case of their slanderous book, The big Book of British Smiles.” said Blue Haired Lawyer. “Mr Tamaki. What do you say about the stereotype of British people and bad teeth?”

”It is a slanderous lie and a bigoted stereotype! We do not all have bad teeth and cavities!” Oscar snapped. “I for one have a clean bill of dental health! Despite constantly drinking soda...” He continues. “And we don’t all have obnoxious, shrill and grating cockney accents!”

”Awright Guv’nor? Cor blimey! Where’s the gents?” Bart mocked him.

”My point exactly! Stop that you uncouth, burger munching Yank!” Oscar snapped.

”No slurs in my court room!” Snyder barked, hammering his gavel.

”Okay I recant. Sorry. But you lot have to stop calling me and my people Limeys!” Oscar replied.

Everyone nodded and decided that was fair.

Back in the grounds of the Power Plant. Homer was protesting with his friends and co workers.

”What do we want?” Homer yelled.

”A Dental plan!” His friends replied.

”When do we want it?”


Carl then tapped Homer to get his attention. “Yeah?”

”Uh Homer, Organised Labour has called in a lumbering dinosaur...” said Carl.

We pan up to an angry tyrannosaurus roaring.

Homer screamed and ran away.

”Oz no!” Bart whined. Hehehehe... dinosaurs...

Mr Burns is watching.

”Smithers who is that firebrand?” Mr Burns asked.

”That’s Homer Simpson sir. He’s an idiot. He should be easy to bribe.” said Smithers.

”Bribe? Oh Smithers you sly devil! Excellent!” Mr Burns laughed.

That Evening Homer was watching a wrestling match between the hillbilly and the Iron Yuppie... where one would be unmasked in the arena and killed! Suddenly the front door rang.

Homer answered it. Crushed and Lowblow were there. They kidnapped him.

Homer found himself in a greenhouse with a Mr Burns vulture! It shivered and grumbled disgusted like Mr Burns so often did.

”Apologies for the rough trip Simpson.” said Mr a Burns in a rare moment of remembering Homer’s name.

”You could have just called me on my several house phones...” Homer groaned.

”Yes but phone calls are so impersonal...” said Mr Burns. “Now let’s discuss this like gentlemen.

Apparently this involved backdoor shenanigans. Which Dark Simpsons mistook for hardcore anal sex!

”Sir I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious but the answers no!” said Homer.

"Curse those Simpsons! Smithers time to start hiring new workers. We don't need these ungrateful fools!" Mr Burns snapped when Homer left.

The next day more people are hired, but Mr Burns finds more expenses to cut. He takes away donuts by having an evil guy with a chain guarding them from the hungry workers. Makes everyone wear silly hats and to his new secretary's suggestion plays Tom Jones music. A worker starts drinking. Another becomes psycho and plans a shooting and another commits suicide.


At Bootcamp, Bart and Oscar complete their last task. Passing the eliminator, a pipe crawl above a pit of razor sharp thorns. However Shenzi, Banzai and Ed fail and fall in the briar. They yelp leaping back out again covered in thorns.

”Cactus butt...” said Shenzi as Banzai pulled thorns out of his buttocks with his teeth. He notices Ed giving him a brainless stare as if he is away with the fairies. Banzai spits thorns at him and they lodge in his big wet shiny black nose. Ed rubs his nose with his paws trying to remove them.

They are then offered jobs at the CIA as agents and after a brief test will be put out on live duty and given licenses to kill. They both agree, but Bart hopes they won't ever have to use their licenses.

After tests, psychiatrist tests and firearms training they are put on field duty and assigned jobs. To arrest Mr Burns for cancelling vital worker needs such as a cafeteria and medical plans.


Tom Jones comes to visit Smithers but is knocked out with gas by him. Smithers laughs evilly as Tom Jones is knocked out.

Oscar infiltrates the plant through the air vents. He passes over the cafeteria where he sees a Burns goon preventing workers from getting donuts and coffee.

"Anyone else want to be a hero?!" The chain wielding goon asks.

"Just me." Oscar replies taking out a machine gun and shooting the man dead. The crowd cheers as he leaves to deal with more goons alerted to his intrusion.

Meanwhile Bart is under heavy fire from a shooter attack on going in one of the sectors. He soon subdued the shooter with smoke grenades and shoots him.


"Sir we have intruders near the cafeteria and in sector 6G." Smithers. "Oh and workers are eating and drinking in the cafeteria."

"By Lucifer's beard!" Mr Burns yells. "Dismiss the workers immediately! And send out the ninjas!" Smithers does as he is told.

Ninjas ambush Oscar. He uses his karate skills to fight them off.


Meanwhile outside the union are still singing and protesting. They watch as the scab workers are leaving the plant.

"Now what do we do, Sir?" Smithers asks.

"We run the plant ourselves! Who needs workers?" Mr Burns replies. They run the plant while getting up to hijinks with a mutant dog with two heads. One there it should be and one front end of a dog where the back should be as a pair of Siamese twin dogs. Of a CatDog! (Sings theme tune.) And running gayly down the halls.

"Bart to Oscar. Do you read me man?" Bart calls Oscar on their comms.

"Loud and clear." Oscar replies.

"I have a visual on Mr Burns and Smithers. They're..."

"They're what, Bart." Oscar asks.

"They're running about like complete simps..."

Oscar ends his communication with Bart and uses a gas bomb to knock out some goons guarding Tom Jones.

"Hurry! I need to call my agent!" says Tom Jones. Oscar frees him.

"I'll escort you out, there are guards everywhere."

Mr Burns gives up running the plant with Smithers.

“I’m pooped. Let’s get these robots I ordered from Japan to do all the work for us.” said Mr Burns. It says they’re 100% compliant right?”

A Gilligan cut later and Mr Burns and Smithers are being chased by killer robots! Cool!

”Crush! Kill! Destroy!” chant the killer robots repeatedly as they chase Smithers who is carrying Mr Burns.

“Why did I buy computer chips from Skynet?!” Mr Burns yelled.

After getting rid of the robots he decided just to shut down the plant.

They go through several hi tech doors to a covert work room that should be secure and completely inaccessible apart from the secure hi tech doors and security they went through. But a stray dog gets in threw a rickety old door swinging open that goes straight out to the car lot. The dog barks playfully.

”Oh shoo you stupid mutt!” Mr Burns kicks the poor dog. It whines and runs off.

”What do we do now Sir?” Smithers asked.

“Oh just shut it down...” said Mr Burns.

The power plant goes out.

Lisa and the strikers start singing again.

“So we march day and night by the big cooling tower! They have the plant, but we have the power! So we march day and niiiiight...” They sing.

Mr Burns acts like the Grinch listening for the cries of the Whos coming down to no Christmas presents in the morning. But is dismayed to hear singing.

“They sing without Juicers! They sing without Blenders! They sing without flunjers, Capdabblers and Smendlers! They sing without-“ Mr Burns grabs Smithers and recites the Grinch’s lines.

“Yes you’ve made your point sir.” said Smithers.


Meanwhile Homer and the Union are voting on things outside while some sing with Lisa.

”So we march day and night by the big cooling tower!”

”So, all in favour of going to Krusty Burger for dinner?” Homer asked his union.

”Aye!” said everyone.

”And against...” Homer sighed because he has to ask for any no’s.

”Neigh...” said Droopy.

”Will you cut that out!?” Screwy Squirrel and the Tex Avery horny wolf yelled at him.

Bart and Oscar apprehend Mr Burns and Smithers.

"Freeze!" Bart yells. Pointing his gun.

"Accursed brats! You'll never take me alive! Smithers attack!" Mr Burns sets Smithers on them. With his unstoppable karate skills.

"Oh geez! Oscar were you any good at Simpsons Wrestling?" Bart asks.

"No! I could never get past this boss!" Oscar whines as they dodge flame bombs and Blinky the three eyed fish hopping about.

Meanwhile Tom Jones gets out and finds the striking workers.

"Hand me that mike, little girl." He takes Lisa's microphone. "Whoooo!" He starts singing sex bomb while music plays out of nowhere. All the workers start dancing.

The groovy music distracts Smithers who starts dancing.

"Smithers! Stop that infernal dancing!" Burns yells.

The upbeat music makes Oscar stronger as he gains a red aura. He single handedly subdues Smithers. They then arrest Mr Burns. The strike is called off when the plant is temporary taken over by Mayor Quimby who agrees to reinstate everything Mr Burns cancelled including the dental plan.

”Eh... as temporary CEO of the Plant I Uh... Diamond Joe Quimby ahum... reinstate the dental plan illegally disbanded by Mr Burns.” said Mayor Quimby. Everyone cheers.

”Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!” Homer lies on the floor and runs in a circle like Curly while doing Curly sounds.

”Why you knuckle head!” Moe the bar tender yelled.

”Uh who is that moron...” Mayor Quimby asked his bodyguards.

”That’s the Union leader, Homer J Simpson, Sir.” said a bodyguard.

”Egad!” Quimby gasped.


The episode ends with Lisa's ugly braces being removed and replaced with the more expensive invisible ones.

"And that's the tooth!" Lisa makes an awful pun and everyone laughs.

"Oh dear I've turned on the laughing gas..." says the dentist before everyone laughs again.