Lisa Goes Gaga Lisa is upset to learn she’s the least popular girl in school and that no one likes her. Then Lady Gaga comes to Springfield on her colourful disco train. She is here to cheer Lisa up, instigate frivolous lawsuits against Maggie for being Baby Goo Goo, (Bart clearly had not heard of her lawsuit against Moshi Monsters.) And be victim of lawsuits from Queen and Tony Garth, Author of the Little Monsters book and cartoon. Oh and Homer eats her meat dress.
The Title gag is Bart as Jack from Bart’s Jack and the beanstalk video game Bart Simpson and the Beanstalk on the Gameboy climbing down a beanstalk with a white goose and a harp.
The couch gag is the Simpsons playing on the Nintendo Wii. They are playing a couch gag game with their Miis to sit them on a couch but Homer’s Mii keeps missing the couch and sitting on the floor. “D’oh!” said his Mii repeatedly.
Eventually Homer snaps and throws away his Wii remote controller and tries to sit on the couch but slips and sits on the floor. “D’oh!” He yelled.
We pan over Springfield as a baritone narrator talks.
See that town? Goes by the name of Springfield.
panning across Springfield. Comic book Guy going into his store with his breakfast burrito going feh! at the pan over intro.
Birthplace of the Brass Knuckle, the Nigerian Prince scam and putting a tomato on your grilled cheese sandwich.
We pan over to a statue of a fist with a brass knuckle on as people take pictures.
Moe taking part in a credit cart scam. Then acting startled at the camera.
And finally Comic book Guy putting a tomato slice in his cheese sandwich and eating it.
Then we see the Springfield Tire fire. Cleatus is replacing his flat tires with the burning ones from the tire fire. He leaves a stream of flames as he drives away... to the future!
”Great Scott!” said Doc Brown.
Oscar wearing a brass knuckle is making a grilled cheese sandwich. He slices up a tomato and puts some slices in the sandwich and closes it up and puts it in the George Forman. The machine has a picture of George Forman with a speech bubble saying “I love money!”
Suddenly the kitchen phone rings and Homer answers it.
”Yello? Oh my god! The prince of Nigeria?! Really?!” He gasped. “Ah ha... ah ha... You want my credit card details so you can give me a million dollars?! Why sure! Hold on just a sec your royal highness.”
“Dad no! It’s just stupid credit card scam!” Lisa warned him.
”Lisa don’t be so rude about the prince of Nigeria!” said Homer.
”Dad it’s not the Prince of Nigeria calling you.. it’s just Bart trying to get access to your bank account...” said Lisa.
“Why yes your royal highness, I will be put on hold.” said Homer. He hummed joyfully as he fiddled with the phone cable absentmindedly.
Our story begins not too long ago... on a not so typical day...
We’re now in a forest with Chief Wiggum and his son Ralph. Ralph is wearing an Elizabethan collar cone dogs wear after having surgery at the vet. And acting like a dog as his Wiggle Puppy personality takes over.
”Ralphie, please...” Wiggum sighed as his son was wearing a dog cone while barking like a dog amongst some dogs he made friends with. “That’s not for people, son.”
”Awwwww! He’s a dumb kid but an above average dog...” said Wiggum. “Roll over, Ralphie!”
Ralph rolled over like a dog.
“Yay! Awwww.... nobody saw...” Wiggum sighed.
But little did they know a change was coming. First the creatures of the Earth sensed it.
Sheep in a field sensed something.
Then Fish in the deep.
An anglerfish about to eat another fish sensed something was afoot.
And then the Mormons got a heads up.
We pan over to a Mormon church. Their symbol, an angel blowing a horn like instrument spun around.
”Do you Hans take all these women to be your lawfully wedded wives?” said a Mormon vicar as he officiated a wedding of a man and his many, many brides! There was a groom surrounded by many brides.
”I do.” said the groom. He sensed something was a foot.
”What is it dear?” one of his wives asked.
”It is happening. She is here...” said the groom.
And finally everyone else.
An old farm ran by an old man and his wife.
“Strange doin’s Mother.” said the farmer. “Horses are spooked. Cows ain’t milking and look what one of the chickens laid!”
“Sparkle eggs?!” said the farmer’s wife as she saw a basket of disco ball eggs. They hatch into funky disco chickens!
A train whistle is heard.
”Storm’s a coming.” said the farmer.
”Storm’s a coming ‘arry. Best get inside.” said Hagrid to Harry Potter as a wind blows.
“Ain’t no storm Pa. it’s the Lady Gaga Express!” said the Farmer’s wife.
Lady Gaga’s Poker face plays as a colourful train with high heeled shoes and built to resemble her visage as the windows of the front carriage are her sunglasses. The train has lipstick on its lips and her hair. Rainbows pour out of the smock stack. And hopefully leprechauns, Care Bears and gay men...
On the train is Lady Gaga’s dancers. Kevin Michael Richardson cameos yet again this time as the Black controller aka Sir Topham Hat. That sounds so wrong but I’m going with ii.
”So Gantu has been the dude from Green Mile, a nurse at Grampa’s home, a Masseuse, A security guard and now a train conductor. Okay...” said Bart co narrating.
“Presenting the Queen of the Hottieverse, appearing courtesy of Interscope Records... Lady Gaga!” said Kevin Michael Richardson as a disco themed conductor.
Lady Gaga arrived.
The dancers freeze.
“At ease.” said Lady Gaga. The dancers sit down.
Machine arms pick up Lady Gaga and change her outfit into another stupid outfit. Weld on her hair and a guy sprays her. Lady Gaga is then put back down in zebra print platform shoes. “Conductor you know the rules. Take off some clothes.”
”Yes ma’am.” Kevin Michael Richardson as the conductor taking off his jacked. “Sorry Ma’am.”
“Now what’s our status?” Lady Gaga asked him.
“We’re about to pass through uh... some town called Springfield...” said the conductor. “A quiet suburb, nothing much happens apart from when it does and man it does!! And it’s home to the tomb of an unknown sports mascot. It’s rather dull today though.”
”Oh that’s so sad! And it’s our job to make those people happy! For a little while at least.” said Lady Gags looking out of the windows at Springfield.
”Hold on Ma’am, it is my job to keep you safe from low class filthy bum infested back waters like Springfield.” said Lady Gaga’s agent. “Don’t worry Ma’am will get you on the first plane out of-“
”No! Don’t you remember last time?” said Lady Gaga. “At LaGuardia.”
At an airport Lady Gaga takes off her shoes with lizards swimming about inside them as she goes through security. “There, all done.”
”Yeah. And you’ve just missed your flight...” said an airport security guard. All of her stupid costumes are on the floor. And she dyed her hair green today...
”Then we’ll party on the boarding ramp!” said Lady Gaga.
She, and her groupies ran to the boarding ramp.
The security guard decided to quit just to join the party in the boarding ramp.
”You train them up for nine months...” A senior security guard sighed.
The flashback ended.
”I don’t care! I can not ignore such a miserable town! We’re stopping in Springfield!” Lady Gaga insisted.
”But!” said her agent.
”No buts!” Lady Gaga walked off. Put on some stupid tall shoes and gave Kevin Michael Richardson instructions for something.
Well Lady Gaga couldn’t arrive soon enough for one Lisa Simpson.
At the school it was an awards ceremony. The banner read. “Teacher’s carry no more than ten dollars on themselves.”
In assembly for the awards ceremony.
“Now let’s turn to the forever unpopular “Student popularity awards” The awards voted by students, in judgement of their peers.” said Principal Skinner.
“No way that can go wrong...” Lisa sighed. She looked bored. Bart looked eager and excited. Hugo was fast asleep snoring and drooling. He was dressed like a geek wearing a bow tie and a checkered shirt and stuff from Wee Monsiours.
”Our first award goes to Campus Clown.” said Skinner. But when he opened the envelope it sprayed him with purple stuff. Everyone laughed.
as he washed his face everyone was eager to see who got the award. Bart smugly knew he had got it. Oscar was eager to be given the award as he sat there dressed as a clown in silly colourful clown clothes, a clown wig, make up on and a red shiny clown nose.
”Oz it’s obvious I got the award...” Bart sighed.
”And the award goes to.... Bart Simpson!” said Skinner.
Oscar looked disappointed as Bart gave him a “I told you so look and cheered as he got up to get his award for being the campus clown. Disjointed Simpsons theme tune played as he walked over the seats to get his award.
Lisa chuckles sheepishly. “That’s my brother! Four years out of four!”
Cameras took photos as Bart accepted his award.
”Prank you! Prank you very much!” said Bart.
He shook hands with Skinner but his arm came off.
”Huh?” Skinner looked down the other end of the fake arm. Bart must have known he would do that as he set the arm to squirt purple liquid at anyone examining it.
Kids laughed at Skinner. Skinner growled at Bart’s Prank.
”Call back.” said Bart.
Mud Boy was also mad as he gave Bart a few choice words. He growled as he went to speak with Bart.
”You no steal Mud Boy’s material!” Mud Boy ranted.
”Eat my shorts Mud Boy.” said Bart taking his award.
”Okay!” said Mud Boy. He ripped off Bart’s shorts and ate them.
Everyone laughed at Bart. He blushed and ran back to his seat and hastily put a spare pare of shorts on.
“I fail to see the honour in this.” said Martin. “Aren’t award shows rather silly?”
”What?! Without awards shows how will we know what is the best beheading in a movie or that Glee is a comedy?!” Bart replied.
”Glee is a comedy?!” Oscar asked.
Next award went to Hugo because he and Lisa acted surprised and happy he got it. He gasped along with Lisa. They kissed and he went off to get his award. Got angry at Willie for using a camera with a flash. Flashing cameras triggered him. Then after Skinner pulled him off of Willie he took his award and ran back to his seat carrying it in his mouth like a dog with a bone.
”Next award goes to least popular student of the year.” said Skinner. He read the letter. “Lisa Simpson!”
”Whaaaaaaat?!” Lisa gasped. Least popular?!” She cried and sobbed as she reluctantly took to the stage. “I’m sorry. I gotta go!” She sobbed loudly.
“you should probably just accept the award Lisa. The children will go easier on you if you do.” said Skinner.
Lisa sighed and went on stage and took her award.
”Thanks for um noticing me, I guess?” Lisa explained as she got her award.
”Ha! She accepted it!” said Sherry and Terri. Everyone laughed.
”You said they’d go easy on me!” Lisa whined.
”Oh I know nothing about children...” said Skinner.
Lisa sobbed and returned to her seat as everyone laughed at her.
On Lady Gaga’s train.
“We’ve got to cheer up a whole town!“ said Lady Gaga in her wardrobe carriage. “Where’s that dress I wore when I visited the Pope?”
A wardrobe clerk with a neck beard and wearing a vest over his beer gut picked out a slutty tiny boob tube and thong. Yeah sure. You were allowed to wear that to the Vatican...
“It’s nice, but I saw Jennifer Lopez wearing it.” said the worker who helps with her wardrobe.
”Burn it! Burn it now!” said Lady Gaga sharply. Apparently she doesn’t like Jennifer Lopez for some reason...
“Help! Help!” A man screamed.
Lady Gaga looked out of the window of her train to find a man dangling from one of the decorations.
“I’ve been hanging on this since you were in Chicago! I just want my life back!” The man whined. “Take me home!”
”No negativity!” said Lady Gaga. She had weird priorities considering she has kidnapped someone...
“Oh you’re right... I’m missing a terrible winter!” said the man. A tree branch smacked him in the face.
At the Simpsons house they have invited Milhouse round for dinner again. They’re having Ethiopian...
”No! Mom hasn’t cooked yet! We’re talking about the awards we got!” Bart said annoyed with me.
”And that’s how Berber Carpet got its name. According to some.” said Marge. “Lisa, how was your day?”
“Um, may I be excused from holding up my end of the conversation? I don’t feel like talking...” said Lisa miserable.
“What’s wrong with har?” Honer asked Bart quietly.
”Oh she’s just found out no one likes her...” said Bart. (Whispering) “I thought she knew.”
”I like Lisa...” said Milhouse giving her bedroom eyes and wagging his eyebrows.
”Yes we know Milhouse...” Bart sighed.
”I like Lisa.” said Oscar.
“You do?!” she asked.
”Yes.” said Oscar.
”But we’re always arguing over politics and animal welfare.” said Lisa.
”Yes, but I respect your opinions on those matters. I would be very rude if I didn’t. I just don’t respect views you express that are ridiculous like that ti e you fed a lion tofu...” said Oscar.
”Yeah that was a pretty stupid stunt I pulled.” said Lisa.
”And you’re a good person. I wouldn’t like you if you were bad.” said Oscar.
“Hey Lisa, maybe you’d feel a little better if you read the Daily Fourth Grade Message Board, huh?” said Milhouse opening up a laptop. There was a message board website open.
”Oh god! Shield your eyes Oscar!” The ghost of Oscar’s Mom yelled. He sighed and sucked her up into a Hoover ie like Luigi in Luigi’s Mansion.
Lisa read the message board. “Hmmmm... lets see... uncensored jump rope chants...”
”What is in Lunch Lady Doris’s Wednesday casserole...” Lisa continued.
”Oh! There is an entire thread about Lisa Simpson!” said Lisa. She muttered thinking it was full of horrible comments and people taunting her. She wondered why she was gonna read it but the script says she does so there. “Whaaaa?!” She was surprised by something.
”Ay carumba!” said Bart. “Somebody’s actually on your side!”
Maggie read it and spat out her milk from her bottle in shock.
“Lisa doesn’t judge others. So why should we judge her?” Bart read the forum post.
“It’s signed Truth Teller and it has a cartoon owl Sherlock Holmes as the avatar.” said Bart.
”More like Sherlock Whooooooooooooms?” Oscar quipped and hit a cymbal.
”Get out...” Bart said annoyed.
“Whoever Truth Teller is. I’m a fan!” said Marge holding Maggie. “It takes a lot of courage to post nice things anonymously!” The kids look at her as if she said something stupid.
“You know it seems to be more than a coincidence that Milhouse brought this to our attention, hmmmm?” said Lisa suspicious. Bart gave Milhouse a squinting look of suspicious as if to say “I’m watching you...”
Milhouse gags and tugs his shirt collar. “Well, I certainly wish I was truth teller.” He squirmed. “But if I was you’d know because I can’t keep a secret...” He suddenly blurted our this... “I sleep under my bed because I’m scared of the cars from Pixar’s Cars!”
”Cooooool!” said Oscar. Thinking that was cool.
“If gasoline is their food, why do cars have teeth!?” Milhouse yelled.
The Simpsons and Oscar gave each other confused looks, baffled by Milhouse and the strange things he comes out with.
At school. Everyone suddenly liked Lisa.
”Well I guess message boards don’t lie.” said Sherry.
”Wanna play jump rope? We’re playing Dutch!” said Terri.
”Double?” Lisa gasped.
”Double Double!” said the twins.
Bart was in his ruin Lisa’s happiness by trying to find out who Truth Teller is. (It’s herself...) So he pulls some nonsense about the fifth graders inviting her for pizza dinner.
”Some fifth graders have asked me to invite you to a pizza dinner at fresh from the pan pizza...” said Bart.
”Fifth graders?! They get to put their desks in a circle! And they get to read books about children with divorced parents!” Lisa sighed.
”Well the thing is.., yoink!” Bart took a note pad from her bag.
”Hey! That’s mine! Give that back!” Lisa tried to take back her notepad.
”Hey this is what Truth Teller poster! So why should we judge Lisa...”
”Gimme that!” Lisa tried to get her notepad.
”Here’s another I-Ecccccck Accccck! Eccccccck!” Lisa strangled him until he went limp and took back her notepad.
”You heard nothing!” she yelled and ran inside.
”What was that?” Jimbo asked.
”Dunno. Something about Truth Teller but Lisa strangled Bart until he fainted.” said Dolph.
”Should we get the nurse?” Jimbo asked.
”Nah let’s kick him.” said Kearney. The bullies kicked Bart as he lied there unconscious.
During Sixth Grade Computer Studies Jimbo abd his gang were on the fourth grade message board.
”Truth Teller? More like Lie Smeller!” said Jimbo.
”Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller!” Everyone chanted.
Bart ran in.
”Dagnabbit! I know who Truth Teller is! It’s...” said Bart.
”If you say it’s your sister that’s nonsense. This is a fourth grader message board. It’s for fourth graders only!” said a sixth grader thug.
”Yeah it’s more likely to be someone in your year!” said Kearney.
”Yeah, namely you Simpson!” said Dolph.
”No! Why would I post soppy things supporting my dorky sister?! And besides I have prove who it is. Or did until Lisa strangled me and took back her notepad...” said Bart.
”Yeah sure... run along dweeb...” said Kearney.
Bart grumbled and headed to class.
On Lady Gaga’s train.
Lady Gags is doing a dance routine with dancers dressed as demons and suddenly for humorous reasons. Actual demons and Satan.
”Okay that’s a wrap people! Take a break...” said Lady Gaga.
the dancers in devil costumes open cans of pop to drink.
”Hey easy on the fizzy stuff! I don’t want gassy demons again... Jerry...” Lady Gaga addressed a particular dancer in a devil costume.
”Yes Jerry! I don’t want the caverns of Hell to smell like farts again! At first I thought it was the sulphur but then I was like Gross! That’s farts!” said Treehouse of Horror XI Satan.
Lady Gaga suddenly had Spidey sense that she could sense someone was unhappy and had an image of Lisa moping and being miserable.
”Some one in Springfield needs me! Ignite the After Bras!” Her staff were confused. “The rocket thrusters...”
rocket thrusters on the train sent it straight off to Springfield central Station. Past Cleatus’s shack. He decided upon seeing Lady Gaga’s train to quit on the moonshine there and then. So did Brandine, and all their children and the not yet born baby in Brandine’s stomach as they all threw away their moonshine jugs.
Lady Gaga’s pink train pulled up at Springfield’s main train station. Kent Brockman was thee reporting on Lady Gaga’s arrival. And Jimbo and his friends were in the background pulling silly faces.
He described Lady Gaga’s train as having bumped and grinned itself to Springfield.
”That is hip hop slang for sex Kent!” said Arnie Pye.
”Fine. Anyway this is the most culturally diverse train to arrive here since the McKinley funeral train stopped here for casket ice.” said Kent.
”Kent nobody got that...” said Arnie.
”Fine you do the news!” Kent stormed off and threw his microphone.
“I’ll do it...” said Oscar grabbing the microphone. “And so Lady Gaga’s disco party on wheels with motorised high heeled shoes pulls into the station, along with several other famous trains on famous locomotive week, which I just made up to make cameos. On platform three we have Thomas the Tank Engine.... then on the next we have the Polar Express... Then Toon Link from Spirit Tracks and the Spirit train, hi Link!”
Link went “Ha! Ya! Yip! Hiyaaaa!” While waving at Oscar from his steam engine.
”Steam locomotives in a vague medieval times set high fantasy... what next... motorbikes? Ancient technology?” said Oscar. Don’t give Nintendo ideas Oz!
”And finally on wedged on the walkway between platforms nine and ten is the Hogwarts Express.” said Oscar.
”You morons! We can’t have fractions as tracks! Pick a track!” Quimby yelled.
”Fine...” the driver and crew pushed the stricken train onto track nine. Student at Hogwarts waited impatiently on the platform.
”Are you done Oz...” the hews crew sighed.
”And here comes Doc Brown’s time travelling locomotive from the end of Back to the Future III...” said Oscar as the time travelling locomotive from Back to the Future III arrived.
Lady Gaga stepped off her train in a stupid eccentric outfit that didn’t even resemble the basic concept of clothes anymore. Aside from covering her breasts and crotch.
”Gaga! Oh lalalala! Gaga Rama ma ma!” Everyone chanted.
”Hey there my little monsters!” said Lady Gaga. Yes she calls her fans her Little Monsters. I’m sure children’s author Tony Garth has something to say about that!”
At the Simpsons.
Instead of Bart successfully screwing up Lisa’s happiness by telling everyone she’s Truth Teller she is content but wrecked with paranoia someone will find out.
”Truth Teller is a Lie Sneller!” Bart said annoyed as he knew Lisa was Truth Teller.
”Lie Smeller? More like Fart Smeller!” Hugo quipped and grabbed Bart’s head and forced his face into his buttocks and farted a loud smelly fart.
”Eeeeeugh!” Bart groaned as he broke free and gagged at the smell.
”Mwuhahahaha! Revenge!” Hugo cheered.
”Boys! Enough of the farting!” Marge scolded her twin boys.
“Hey Sweetie how about you honk on that jazz tube?” Homer asked.
”Dad it’s a saxophone and no I don’t feel like it. I’m just paranoid Bart will tell everyone at school that I’m Truth Teller!” said Lisa.
”Wait you’re Truth Teller?!” said Homer.
”Yes!” said Lisa.
”You were bigging up yourself with nice comments?! That is so sad...” said Homer.
”She’s a fraud Dad! And as soon as everyone finds out!” said Bart.
”Oh Bart stop ruining your sisters happiness! What is your problem with her having friend for once?!” Marge scolded Bart.
”I don’t know...!” Bart considered why he was so desperate to out Lisa as Truth Teller.
“Anyway sweetie smile or I’ll turn that frown upside down!” said Homer to Lisa.
”Dad it’s not a frown. It’s a line of nonchalance. It’s the same upside down...”
”We’ll just see Honey!” Homer picked up his eldest daughter and turned her upside down repeatedly. “Voop voop voop!”
”Dad stop! I’m feeling queasy!” said Lisa.
”Now sweetie you know I have a ritual where I have to do things 17 times...” said Homer continuing to put her upside down repeatedly to turn her frown upside down. “Voop Voop Voop...”
”Dad!” Lisa whined. “I feel dizzy!”
”Oh now I lost count! I’ll have to start again! Voop! Voop! Voop!”
Lisa threw up on him.
”Eeeeeeew! Marge! Lisa threw up on me!” Homer groaned.
”Well she told you to stop!” said Marge.
”Hey let’s all go and see Lady Gaga arrive at Central station!” said Milhouse.
”Lady Gaga is here?!” The Simpsons gasped.
”Yes she’s our guest celebrity this episode...” said Oscar.
”No thanks. I can’t stand the latest trending pop stars...” Lisa sighed.
However because Everyone else wanted to go and Lisa can not be left home alone she had to go. Although considering my fanon and even in canon why am I suddenly letting this, oh yeah I’m being mean to Lisa by making her go and see Lady Gaga... hehehehe!
At the train station everyone in Springfield was chanting “Oh lalalala! Gaga Rama ra! Gaga Lady Gaga! Bad bad romance!”
“Come on Lisa!” said Homer.
”I’m sorry. I really don’t want to be here!” Lisa whined.
”Claws up Springfield!” said Lady Gaga covered in Hummingbirds! That’s ridiculous!
”She’s covered in Hummingbirds!” Oscar screamed in bafflement.
”Shut up boy...” said Homer.
”Never forget you’re all my Little Monsters!” said Lady Gaga.
”Actually I’m half monster half Armenian. Pick your poison.” said Moe.
”So my Little Monsters who-“ said Lady Gaga. But...
”Cease and Desist!” said Blue Haired Lawyer pushing through the crowd with Children’s author Tony Garth.
”Uh rude!” said Lady Gaga annoyed.
”I am here with famed children’s author Tony Garth who says your Little Monster chant is infringing on his trademark!” said Blue Haired Lawyer.
”Yeah of my Little Monsters books!” said Tony Garth.
Bart face palmed.
”We’re the Little Monsters! Little Monster show!” Oscar sings the theme tune.
”Oz...” Bart groaned.
”What? It’s catchy!” said Oscar.
”Oz do the right thing and help Lady Gaga...” said Bart.
”Actually Bart, for once Blue Haired Lawyer isn’t enacting a ridiculous lawsuit.” said Oscar.
”I have a name!” said Blue Haired Lawyer.
”Yeah sure...” said Oscar. “Anyway he’s got a good reason for cease and desisting this time. She is infringing on Tony Garth’s trademark.”
Bart sighed exasperated.
“However... I will help Lady Gaga if she uses her Little Monsters gimmick to advertise my cartoon about my little monsters!” said Oscar taking the stage outside Lady Gaga’s train while holding Dino. Teddy was perched on his head and Clownja was bouncing around near him.
”Okay I suppose your cute little monsters are marketable.” said Lady Gaga.
”Yeah just a shame Tony’s books about cartoon kids with bad habits came first.” said Oscar.
“Ahem...” said Blue Haired Lawyer.
Oscar sighed and used Polymerisation to combine Teddy and Clownja into Clown Teddy. Clown Teddy then used his squeaky hammer to smack Blue Haired Lawyer and Tony Garth flying into the stratosphere never to be seen again.
Lady Gaga went back to addressing her fans. “Sorry about that interruption my Little Monsters.”
”We’re her groupies, we should really stop stage invaders...” said Kevin Michael Richardson as the conductor.
“And you should all love yourselves as much as I love all of you!” said Lady Gaga. “Because...”
”Tell us in song!” yelled Lenny.
”(singing) Because,.. (Singing)” Lady Gaga sung her dialogue in a tuneful manner.
”With theatrics!” said Lenny.
”Oh come on guys!” Lady Gaga sighed.
Everyone impatiently asked for theatrics. Lady Gaga sighed and released the Hummingbirds. Underneath she had cybernetic breasts with flamethrowers installed in them.
”Those Hummingbirds cost us millions...” the agent sighed.
”Four three two one!” Lady Gaga counted down.
”Where is she going with this?” The agent asked.
Lady Gaga sung.
When they’re young
All little monsters learn they’re scary
Ugly, stupid, shunned by Cupid, Overweight and hairy... Cupid is disgusted by one of Oscar’s cartoon monsters.
But every monster needs to find that secret deep inside
That transforms Dr Jekyll into sexy Mr Hyyyyyyde! She changes her wig in a puff of smoke.
All my monsters are beautiful!
Disco Stu-iful! Square root-iful! Old Coot-iful!
”I love you Lady Zsa Zsa!” said Abe Simpson.
”It’s Gaga but thanks!” said Lady Gaga before resuming her singing.
Monsters don’t need implants or a bitchin’ monster car!
Monsters only need to love the monster that they are! She shows off her flamethrowers built into her breasts.
”She has flamethrower boobs!!” said Oscar.
”Oooooooooh!” Marge grumbled disapprovingly.
”Mom what’s bitchin’?” Bart asked.
”Ooooooooh!” Marge grumbled.
Gaga, Yaya, Jawae. Presto! Lady Gaga finished her song with a crescendo.
Lady Gaga had her sixth sense again and noticed it was Lisa causing this with her negativity.
”Lights, point at that sad little girl.” said Lady Gaga. A light shone on Lisa.
”I’m not sad... well except about the environment and how we’re slowly destroying it. Oh and my brother Bart won’t let me have friends or keep a secret to get those friends.” said Lisa.
”Lisa is Truth Teller!” Bart yelled. But no one believed him.
”Yeah and I’m the Queen of Sheba...” said Jimbo.
Lady Gaga decided to visit the Simpsons.
However when she got there Ned annoyed her.
”Oh you’re one of those music industry superstars that’s turning all our young girls into ladies of the night!” said Ned angry with Lady Gaga.
“What sweater drawer did you crawl out of?” Lady Gaga asked him.
“Hey! Do not diss the sweater!” said Oscar annoyed as he tugged at his blue sweater with green triangles on it.
”Zip zop zoopity bop! Ah ah ah!” Bill Cosby in a sweater laughed.
”Go away you pervert!” Oscar shooed Bill Cosby away.
”Well I’m Ned Flanders.” Ned explained to Lady Gaga. “And I’ve heard of you Lady Gaga.” he continued his commentary. “Haven’t seen so much skin since shedding season on a snake farm!”
Hugo is collecting snake skin from his snakes shedding. “Eeeeeew! Skin...” he groaned.
“Look I’m just trying to tell everyone they’re all beautiful...” said Lady Gaga.
”Well Jesus said the same thing.... Oh diddly darn it! They warned me the devil would be attractive!” Ned tried to explain but yelled annoyed that Lady Gaga was trying to mislead him down the path of sin.
”What makes you think I’m the devil...” Lady Gaga sighed. She had her flamethrower boobs shooting out fire.
”Either slap some wieners on or turn those off Lady!” Ned said sharply.
Lady Gaga burnt him with her flamethrower boobs. Ned screamed as he was burnt.
”Yeah he gets like that sometimes...” said Oscar. “I’ll show you around.”
Indoors Lady Gaga tried for help Lisa, but Lisa is being rude and won’t let Lady Gaga help.
”Fine I’ll let the latest pop sensation who is giving girls my age the wrong idea on body image help me with my depression!” Lisa ranted.
Then Lady Gaga has a lesbian kiss with Marge. Marge was shocked.
“Homer!” she called for her husband Homer.
However from the hall to the rumpus room he saw everything.
”Mmmmmm! Forbidden love...” Homer moaned with arousal at the sight of his wife snogging another woman.
Then Lady Gaga was in her Meat dress in the lounge talking about how to cheer up Lisa when Homer was cooking steaks from her meat dress on a mini barbecue and eating the cooked steaks.
”Homer! Stop that!” Lady Gaga scolded him. Oscar laughed.
Then Bart dressed Maggie up in some random stuff he found in the costume cupboard.
”Lady Gaga, meet your biggest rival, Baby Goo Goo.” said Bart. Maggie was wearing a carnival mask, high heeled shoes and pacifiers as nipples.
”Cease and desist!” Lady Gaga sues Bart.
”Wait what?!” Bart gasped.
”You heard me! Cease infringing on my trade mark or I’ll do to you what I did to Moshi Monsters when they created Lady Goo Goo!” said Lady Gaga coldly.
”You’ll sue a ten year old kid of every penny just for paying homage to you by dressing his baby sister up in silly clothes!? You are nuts!” said Bart.
”I’ll handle this...” said Oscar. He snapped his fingers and summoned the surviving members of Queen. And Freddy Mercury as a ghost.
”Well Miss Gaga, we’re suing you for infringing on our trademark of our song Radio Gaga!” said Queen.
”Oh fine! You win this round, Bart Simpson!” Lady Gaga sighed and recanted her lawsuit.
Then Lady Gaga called round Beyoncé. They went to Springfield Penitentiary for women. Broke out and went on a Thelma and Louise drive from the law and stopped at a roadside cafe and poisoned all the food, murdering every single customer that ate the poisoned food. And they drove into the sunset and got away Scot free of mass homicide!
“How does any of that help with my depression?!” Lisa asked sitting on a roundabout.
”Let’s play Lisa roulette!” said Sherri spinning Lisa around.
”Watch out! Don’t let her get you! Her eyes shoot loser lasers!” said Terri.
Lisa sighed and fired eye lasers at the girls teasing her.
Lady Gaga’s groupies arrived in loincloths carrying a giant egg.
”Well lookey here! It’s the world’s biggest omelette! Mmmmm!” said Oscar putting on a chef’s hat and heading towards the giant egg with a frying pan and spatula.
Lady Gaga hatched out of it.
”Oh no! The yoke’s on me!” Oscar whined.
”Oz please go away...” Lisa sighed.
Lady Gaga was wearing her Meat dress. Lisa was furious!
”How dare you! How dare you desecrate cow carcasses like that!” Lisa raged.
”What?!” Lady Gaga was confused by her anger.
”She’s a vegetarian, Lady Gaga...” said Oscar.
”Oh....” said Lady Gaga. She went off to change into something else.
At dinner Lady Gaga was covered in Kermit the Frog toys.
”It ain’t easy being green...” Oscar sung It ain’t easy being green by Kermit the Frog.
Bart slapped him for being stupid.
”Ow!” Oscar whined.
While Lisa had pizza with the fifth graders one night at Fresh out of the pan pizza. Bart saw her diary of Truth Teller’s posts unguarded he went up to get it.
”Where do you think you’re going?” Marge asked.
”Nowhere...” said Bart.
”Leave your sister alone!” said Marge.
”You’re not going anywhere mister so park your keister down there Meister! where I can see you!” Marge sat Bart down.
“Ay carumba...” Bart sighed.
Luckily Marge was distracted getting Oscar some ice cream from the ice cream machine. And Hugo was nearby.
”Hey Hugh, wanna do me a favour? There’s a chocolate pudding in it for you...” said Bart.
Hugo made a garbled string of gibberish and growls that meant yes, what do you want doing?
Bart got out a comb and brushed Hugo’s spikes up into his own style. Then he messed up his hair into Hugo’s style and ran off on all fours.
Marge was none the wiser and thought Hugo was Bart.
Bart took Lisa’s Truth Teller note pad and saw Sherri and Terri and Janet and a few other girls from school. He grinned evilly.
Lisa was too busy having intellectual debates with the fifth graders.
”Oh look! It’s Fart!” said Sherri.
”Smell off, Fart!” said Terri.
”Girls I have proof of who Truth Teller is...” said Bart.
”Oh show us!” said Sherry.
“Well it depends. Can you handle the truth?” Bart asked.
”Yes! Now hand it over!” said Terri.
”For the love of Justin Bieber! Do you have proof or not?!” Sherry said annoyed.
Bart handed the notepad over to Sherry and Terri.
“This is proof that Lisa’s Truth teller!” said Sherri.
”And now I trust you will tell the truth too...” Bart grinned evilly.
”Oh sure! Everyone at school will learn by tomorrow Bart!” said Sherri.
”My sister likes you.” said Terri.
Bart winced and took back Lisa’s notepad, put it back where he found it and managed to switch back with Hugo. Allowing Hugo to go back to wandering around the restaurant sniffing people.
Lisa went to school the next school morning. However everyone was glaring at her.
”What?” Lisa asked.
”Hi Truth Teller...” said Nelson coldly.
Lisa gasped. They knew! But how?
”Truth Teller? More like lie smeller! Ha!” said Jimbo.
”Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller!” everyone chanted.
”Lisa what you did is like my mom putting one of her own ten dollar notes into her g string at the nightclub she works at during a sexy dance.” said Nelson.
”At least I have a yes man to compliment me...” said Mr Burns.
”You are looking great today sir.” said Smithers.
”Lie Smeller! Lie smeller!” Everyone chanted.
Lisa screamed and cried, running to class sobbing.
Bart grinned a wicked grin.
At breakfast one morning Lisa twigged it was Bart because...
”I guess showing everyone your notepad was a bit harsh, but it did teach you a valuable lesson! Don’t make up imaginary friends to say nice things about yourself! Just be yourself a nerd with no friends...” said Bart eating his porridge.
”Oh I know exactly who I am!” Lisa growled grabbing Bart by the front of his shirt. “The little sister of a rotten, jealous no good, little sneak!” she grabbed the honey bear bottle of honey and pointed it at him. “You cost me my only friends! You ruined my life!”
Bart winced as she threatened to squirt honey all over him. Teddy, Oscar’s teddy bear creature whined and grasped at the honey bear bottle of honey.
However before Lisa could consider squirting Honey all over Bart. Lady Gaga came in so Lisa quickly released Bart and acted like they weren’t fighting.
“Hey kids. How’s it rocking?” asked Lady Gaga.
”Fine apart from Bart ruining my life!” Lisa yelled.
”Oh! Lisa dear, tell ol Lady Gaga all about it.” said Lady Gaga comforting Lisa.
”Why is she still here?!” Bart whispered to Oscar.
”I dunno.” said Oscar.
Teddy tried squirting the Honey Bear Brand honey bottle Ito his mouth but it was empty. He cried.
”Oooooh! Teddy...” Oscar sighed.
He looked in a cupboard that was full of big cartoon honey pots from Winnie the Pooh cartoons and found a full one with honey still dripping out of the rim. He gave it to Teddy who squealed happily and hugged Oscar before greedily eating the honey.
Lady Gaga then went to her entire wardrobe that took up the spare bedroom. Her attendants who dress her were there.
”I feel like wearing what I wore for my Poker Face video.” said Lady Gaga.
“That’s nice Lady Gaga but I have here an Internet meme of Jim Carey wearing that exact outfit and your hair you had then.” said Oscar. He showed on his Mypad a video of Jim Carey’s face photoshopped onto Lady Gaga’s body as she dances to Poker Face. And him making the annoying “Eeeeeeeeeeeh!” sound from Dumb and Dumber over it.
”Burn it. Burn it now!” Lady Gaga ordered her attendants to burn the outfit.
”Um okay...” said the wardrobe staff.
Oscar smelt a delicious barbecue. “Mmmmm! I smell a barbecue! Oooooh! T bone steak!” Oscar drooled.
”Hmmmm, I do too! Oh wait! Homer no!” She ran downstairs.
Homer was barbecuing her meat dress.
”Homer! You gluttonous fool! Do you realise how much that meat dress cost to make?!” Lady Gaga scolded him.
”Not much. It’s just the same amount of meat I buy for a barbecue with all my friends.” said Homer.
”Grrr! That’s besides the point Homer I- I really need to hire security to look after my things...” said Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga asked Kevin Michael Richardson as the Gaga Express Conductor to conduct, ha! Conduct interviews for security guards. Ie to stop stage invaders and to look after her dresses.
”Now Miss Gaga, why didn’t you think of that earlier?” Kevin Michael Richardson asked.
”I don’t know!” said Lady Gaga.
Lisa cheered up knowing the meat dress was gone. Homer ate all of it. She decided to make Lady Gaga a replacement out of vegetables.
”Um... no...” said Lady Gaga putting on her Kermit the Frogs outfit and going to the butchers to buy lots of meat to make a new meet dress. Lisa growled annoyed.
After buying meat for her meat dress. Blood from the meat and her weird blood fragranced perfume, look it up! It’s true! Attracted hungry vampires including Ace.
Ace’s fangs elongated for feeding. He was consumed by a vampire’s blood thirst.
Lady Gaga screamed and fled the hungry vampires.
Then she kept turning up to family outings naked! Or in her underwear!
”Miss Gaga! Are you not dressed?!” Homer gasped when she turned up to a baseball game between the Mets and the Isotopes in her underwear.
”I am making a statement!” Lady Gaga declared.
Eventually her nakedness got so bad she was arrested for Indecent exposure by Wiggum. Until Beyoncé broke her out of jail again and they went on another Thelma and Louise ride off into the sunset and poison a greasy breakfast diner of customers again.
Then she stole all of Wiggum’s Police! Do not cross! Crime Scene! Yellow tape and mummified herself with it.
”Lady Gaga stop that!” Wiggum yelled.
Oscar mummified himself with the yellow crime scene tape too and lumbered about with his arms outstretched moaning like a zombie.
Bart face palmed.