Lisa Babysitter The Simpsons have a go of leaving the kids alone again. This time they listen to Lisa because Of Bart's mayhem the last time.
Bart is hanging out in his treehouse with his The hole in the underwear gang again singing stupid campfire songs.
"Glory, glory, hallelujaaaaah! Teacher hit me with a ruler... so I whacked her on the bean with a frozen Jimmy Dean and she ain't my teacher my no moooore!" The nerds sang as Oscar had paper planes stuffed in his ears trying to blot out their singing.
"Because she's deaaaaad!" Nelson sang while playing his guitar.
"That song is lame. Next time sing Camp Town Races..." Oscar groaned.
"No." said Bart,
"Next order of business. Girls suck!" said Bart. "Now to spy on the girls. Database are the cans on strings set up?"
"Nyaaaaaah, they're deep in cootie territory!" said Database.
Lisa and her friends were gossiping. Bart listened via the cans on strings and rolled his eyes. Then he decided to prank Lisa.
"Lisa!" He said in Marge's voice. "Come downstairs we've got to get going to your doctors appointment so the doctor can amputate your butt!"
Bart and his friends were laughing.
"Hey, the boys are listening in on our conversations!" said Janey pointing out a can in the window. They tried to pull it but the boys pulled back. The treehouse started shaking back and forth until the tree fell over and smashed the treehouse.
Marge came outside to see the damage. "Oh my lord!"
The boys groaned as they climbed out of the rubble.
"Oh boy! Bruises! Now for some sympathy!" yelled Milhouse happily. "Mooooooooom!" He started crying...
Indoors Marge was tending to Bart's boo boos with cotton wool and iodine.
"Ow! Ow! Ouch!" Bart whined.
"Hmmmmm! How did you kids even manage to uproot the treehouse?" Marge asked.
Homer sweated and tugged his shirt nervously.
Outside where the treehouse once stood were some gophers digging about and chirping. They had weakened the tree's root system.
Later Marge had replanted the tree and was building a new treehouse. Homer came out.
"Marge look! We've been invited to the grand opening of the Springfield pier!" said Homer.
"Ooooooh!" Marge was interested.
"Dad that pier wasn't built with compliance with federal environmental law! It wrecked the coastal habitat of several creatures!" Lisa whined.
There was a big mud patch at the end of the pier and choking fish flopping about in it.
"Lisa no one likes a know it all..." Homer replied.
"Hmmmm, looks like you kids need a babysitter." said Marge.
"Awwww, can't you just leave me and Hugo in charge..." Bart whined.
"Hmmmm! No! Not after last time!" Marge nagged.
"How about Oscar? He's next oldest?" Homer asked.
"No Dad! The last time he was in charge he turned the house into a giant puppet!" Lisa whined.
We cutaway to the Simpsons house out front. Someone inside is moving the roof up and down like a mouth.
"Hey hey! You better not come in here! I'm the Simpsons house!" said Oscar sitting in the green armchair operating some pulleys and ropes while speaking into a horn. "Bring me a tool shed for I am hungry!"
"Okay fine, Lisa's in charge." said Homer.
"Ugh! I can't believe you people! I'm the oldest!" Bart whined.
"Joint oldest." Hugo corrected him.
"Look you had your chance and you blew it!" Homer scolded them. "Now behave for your sister!"
Lisa smirked smugly. "Don't sulk Bart, You'll find I can be very fair." said Lisa.
Once Mom and Dad were out of earshot.
"Lisa, you're so dead!" Bart growled threateningly.
Lisa winced unnerved.
That evening Lisa made a healthy vegetarian dinner.
"You should wash up for dinner." said Lisa. "To make it fun, you can use the Mr. Bubble. (Oscar's face lit up with a grin) It'll be like giving your fingers a bubble bath."
"You are so dead." Bart snapped.
"Bart stop threatening me or I'll tell Mom and Dad." Lisa sighed.
"Yaaaaaaaay! Mr Bubble!" Oscar cheered.
"Oz... grow up..." Bart sighed.
Lisa served Bart and Hugo their lima beans.
"Say when..." said Lisa. However he kept asking for more. "Um, how about you eat the ones I've gave you and if there's any left you can have them."
"I'm not eating those! I just want to horde them so no one else has any!" Bart explained.
"Ugh! At least wear your napkin..." Lisa sighed trying to put a napkin on him.
"No! Baby don't want! Bleh!" Bart suddenly started acting like a baby and eating his food messily and babbling.
Maggie started crying.
"Oh great you've got Maggie all upset..." Lisa sighed.
"Don't worry, I'll give her some ice cream." said Bart. He got ice cream out of the freezer and fed it to Maggie. She liked it and licked her lips. However it had an effect on her as she became hyperactive...
"Bart! That's coffee flavored!" Lisa exclaimed.
"So?" Bart replied.
"Hugo stop eating your napkin!" Lisa sighed.
"Hey don't yell at him! He can't help it!" Bart retorted. Hugo was chewing his napkin.
Lisa growled annoyed.
"Look just eat your Lima beans." Lisa said to Hugo.
Hugo gladly and gratefully ate his lime beans. He was happy to eat something besides fish heads.
It was soon bed time.
Lisa was trying to get Maggie off of the shower curtain pole but she was sitting on it holding the talcum powder.
"Please Maggie...the talcum powder is not to play with." Lisa begged. Maggie gave her a face full of talcum powder. Lisa coughed and sighed.
"Okay Bart, Hugo, Oscar, have you boys had your evening bath?" Lisa asked. She came downstairs to find Bart, Hugo and Oscar watching TV. "I asked you to do one thing!"
She tries to drag him as he is just lying there letting her.
"Bart what are you doing?!" Lisa asked.
"Using nonviolent resistance." Bart replied.
"Ugh! I can't believe you'd compare yourself to Gandhi!" Lisa growled.
"Who?" Bart asked.
Lisa growled but the doorbell rang. "You go to bed. I'll get this."
Lisa answered to find Bart had like last time called over some night time visitors. Krusty came in laughing.
"Hey hey! Who's in for an all night comedy show!" Krusty yelled.
Then some delivery men arrived with a very long hoagie sandwich swimming in vinegar.
"Bart!" Lisa yelled.
Then some men in suits arrived for a conference.
Then some surgeons. "We're here to amputate Lisa Simpson's butt?" said a surgeon.
"Ha! That never gets old!" Bart giggled.
Then the ambassador of Nigeria arrived looking for the king of Zambia again.
"I keep telling you he's not here!" Lisa yelled.
Then shady government agents asked her if she had reported seeing a UFO again.
"No!" Lisa yelled.
"Just checking." said the agents.
Finally some satanic cultists arrived in black robes.
"In there guys." said Oscar. The cultists thanked him in Latin as they brought a goat with them.
"That's it!! All of you have to leave! Now!" Lisa yelled.
"I'm not leaving until I get paid!" said Krusty.
Lisa growled and put her foot down. "Oscar, Hugo, Bart! You boys get your butts upstairs and go to bed!"
Lisa laying down the law resorted to a Tom and Jerry chase.
"Oscar! Put your diaper back on!" Lisa yelled chasing Oscar who was butt naked apart from his sweater.
"No! Diaper stinky!" Oscar felt uncomfortable because that diaper was soiled.
Lisa went to the kitchen to find Bart eating bread.
"I thought I told you to go to bed!" said Lisa.
"Oooooh! I thought you said go to bread!" said Bart in a sassy tone.
"Go to bed! B-E-D!" Lisa yelled.
"Oooooooh! Bed..." said Bart.
She went upstairs to find Bart jumping on her bed.
"You didn't say which bed..." said Bart.
"Go to your bed!" Lisa yelled.
"Make me." said Bart.
Bart made Nyah nyah or neener neener sounds teasing her.
She lunged at him, but he'd hop backwards at the last second causing her to face-plant. However he wasn't looking where he was hopping.
"Bart, look out!" Oscar warned him.
Bart was unsteady and tumbled down the stairs cursing until he landed at the bottom unconscious.
"Oh my god!" Lisa gasped.
"Ouch." Hugo added. "That had to hurt."
"Hey I'm willing just to accept some of that sandwich- Oh god! Never mind!" Krusty came back but left. The Satanic cultists left in a hurry.
Bart soon woke up.
"Bart are you okay?" Lisa asked.
Bart groaned. He had a large bump on his head.
"Eeeeew! Your arm is dislocated! Hold still I'll put it back in!" Lisa explained.
"No I want to preserve the damage so you'll never baby sit again!" said Bart running off half stumbling.
"What have I done?!" Lisa sobbed.
Sometime later Lisa came to Hugo and Bart's room only to find he had jammed the door shut and was slamming something loudly.
"Bart what are you doing?" Lisa asked.
"Trying to make the bump on my head bigger!" Bart replied smacking his head against something.
"How could you do this to me! (Sobs) All I wanted to do was babysit!" Lisa started crying.
"Should have kept your trap shut then and let me, your older brother look after the house!" Bart replied.
"Okay! Okay! I won't say a word and I'll let you be in charge from now on! I'll even let you stay up tonight! Just stop slamming your head against the wall! Please!" Lisa begged.
There was silence.
"Bart did you stop because I asked? If so thanks!" said Lisa. "Bart?"
There was no answer.
Lisa went to her room and climbed along the tree to Bart's window to find he was lying in his room unconscious.
"Oh god!" Lisa gasped.
"He just lost consciousness!" Hugo explained to her.
"Well do something! Get smelling salts or something!" Lisa cried panicking.
Lisa went to ring the hospital.
"Wait!" Lisa stopped herself. The Paynes and the Hibberts were out with Mom and Dad. If they found out she'd be banned from babysitting. She has a dream of Dr Hibbert cross with her and Mom telling her off.
"This is the work of bad babysitting!" Hibbert told her off in the dream.
"Well, as far as we can tell, the boy was studying quietly... when the girl, drunk on her own sense of power... beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans." said Wiggum.
"Quite so Chief. And she deprived the poor boy of valuable protein and Iron found in meat." said Ned.
"That's not true! You can still get protein from beans and tofu! And iron from leafy vegetables!" Lisa cried.
"Save it for the judge, bad babysitter!" said Wiggum.
"Lisa! I'm so disappointed in you!" Marge in the dream told her off as the surgery lights spun round.
Lisa in the real world winced.
Lisa decided to ring the surgeons that came round.
"Forget it! We were called round to this address for a gluteus amputation and gender reassignment surgery! Stop wasting our time before we talk to your parents about a fine!"
"What the?" Lisa gasped as the phoneline went dead.
"I wanted Hugo to be a girl..." said Oscar.
"Eeeew! Oscar..." Lisa groaned. "Guys, I need you to grow up for a sec and do a big grownup thing. We need to get Bart to a doctor immediately."
They find Bart after getting his door open lying unconscious with a bump on his head.
"Oh my god! What did you do to him?!" Oscar yelled.
"It was an accident!" Lisa cried. "Oscar, can you go find a first aid kit?"
"We better get him to a hospital fast!" Oscar explained.
"Okay but put a diaper or pants on first!" Lisa explained as Oscar was still nude from the waist down...
"Fine..." Oscar sighed. He went off to put on a clean diaper.
Oscar was singing Loo Loo Loo! I've got some apples while putting his diaper on and sticking down the tapes.
Meanwhile Lisa checked Bart's pulse.
"Please wake up Bart..." Lisa stammered.
Meanwhile Marge and Homer were at the Town's new pier grand opening party.
"Homer no! You've gone into the fountains!" Marge warned Homer as he had gone into the novelty annoying floor fountains. Small jets of water shot up scaring him. He yelped and tried to get out but couldn't.
Marge sighed and face palmed.
Eventually he got out.
"Hmmm, where should we go next?" Marge asked.
"Hey look Moe moved his tavern!" Homer yelled pointing at an entrance to Moe's.
"Homer that's just a tunnel he built to the pier. He's still next to King Toots in downtown Springfield..." Marge sighed. We zoom down the tunnel and arrive outside Moe's where a wooden structure is covering the entrance.
"Ha! And you said my tunnel was a bad idea..." said Moe, smug as his tavern filled with new customers.
"I didn't say it was a bad idea, I said you shouldn't because it might be illegal." said Carl.
Meanwhile on the pier.
"Hmmmmm! What about that restaurant?" Marge pointed out a fancy restaurant on the pier.
"Oh ok!" Homer took her to the restaurant.
They walked about the pier.
"Oh look! The Malaria Zone!" said Marge. "That's where explorers shop before going abroad!"
There was also a shop that sold rain sticks. An instrument full of beans that sounds like raining.
Elsewhere Lisa put Bart in a wheelbarrow but Maggie kept grabbing his nose.
"Maggie!" Lisa exclaimed.
"I'll hold her..." Hugo took Maggie.
"Thanks, Hugo. " said Lisa. "I appreciate it. "
They headed to Dr Nick's surgery. However it was full with a long line. Snake had been stabbed in a fight and Comic book guy was sitting in a wheelbarrow groaning as he had eaten too much Krusty burger food. "Oooooh! Lonely nights and fast food don't mix..." he whined.
"Mr Smithers, my brother is in a really bad way! Can we go in front?" Lisa asked.
"Um... no not really. I need this procedure..." said Mr Smithers.
Lisa sighed and took Bart in the wheelbarrow elsewhere with Oscar and Hugo following her.
Meanwhile Homer and Marge were having a romantic dance.
Lisa took Bart across a quiet road overlooking a dried up riverbed. However Chief Wiggum stopped them.
"Hey Lisa." said Chief Wiggum.
"Chief what is it?" Lisa asked.
"Do you know the way to the Springfield pier? I thought I knew the way but Sarah insisted I ask for directions." Chief Wiggum asked. Sarah Wiggum was frowning as she sat in the squad car with Ralph.
"Oh sure." Lisa took his map. "You'll want to go on his road here, not the road your on, that goes to Shelbyville. Then make a right and then a left." said Lisa.
"Ace! Thanks Lisa." said Chief Wiggum and he left. Lisa sighed with relief. Once he was long gone she went to check on Bart but Maggie had pushed the wheelbarrow down into the ravine.
"Maggie no!" Lisa whined. She ran into the ravine to grab the wheel barrow but slid down the sloped boarders. Hugo and Oscar went after her.
"Aaaaaaagh! The rocky banks are shredding my ass!" Oscar cried.
"Oscar language!" Lisa scolded him.
They then plunged into some deep mud with a splat.
"Eeeeugh! Mud!" Oscar groaned.
"Ha! Mud!" Hugo smirked as he threw mud at Lisa.
Lisa was too preoccupied with keeping Bart afloat. Suddenly a spotlight shone on her.
The townsfolk who attended the pier party were watching and gasping.
"Lisa!" Marge gasped.
"That girl is trying to drown that young boy!" said the bossy lady with her hair in a bun.
"Ugh...! My eyes! It's too bright! Lisa groaned at the spotlight.
"She's on drugs!!" Helen gasped.
"Lisa, give Daddy the drugs..." Homer demanded.
"Homer!" Marge told him off for thinking Lisa had drugs.
"I'm not on drugs," Lisa retorted. "I was just trying to..."
Sometime later Dr Hibbert checked Bart over.
"Blunt trauma to the head, dislocated arm, most likely caused by falling down some stairs. And bad babysitting!" Hibbert explained before accusing Lisa of being a bad babysitter.
"Sheesh! My daydreams are real!" Lisa gulped.
"Now hold on Doc! I'm sure this was just a horrible accident!" Marge replied. "I'll ask my kids what happened.
Lisa sighed with relief.
The next day Bart had his arm in a sling and his head bandaged up.
"Sorry about your arm Bart." said Lisa.
"Sorry I ruined your babysitting job..." said Bart.
"It's alright. You had a point. You're the oldest. Of course that means you're supposed to be the most responsible! If you want to be in charge you have to start showing responsibility and not goofing off and prank calling people..." Lisa sighed.
"But pranking the ambassador of Nigeria and ordering late night sandwiches is funny!" Bart replied.
"Bart..." Lisa sighed.
"Okay fine. I'll try to stop that..." Bart sighed.
"Let's never fight again." said Lisa. They hugged.
Oscar ruined the tender moment by farting.
Marge and Homer furiously cleaned up Bart's mess.
"I said go home!" Marge yelled at the satanic cultists.
"Mmmmmmmm! A yard long hoagie swimming in vinegar..." Homer saw the un eaten hoagie.
"No Homie! Not again!" Marge sighed.
There was also a leprechaun in the lounge for some reason. More on him in a bit.
"Bartholomew! A word." She raised her voice.
Bart came in with his arm in a sling and head bandaged.
"I hope you're happy Bart! Because now no one wants Lisa to babysit!"
"I'll not be happy until you recognise I'm the eldest. Joint eldest if I include Hugo. So I'm the most responsible!" Bart said defiantly.
"Bart you have to earn that responsibility! Not make mess and cause trouble until you get your own way..." Marge sighed.
"Yeah, wise up and grow up boy..." said Homer.
Lisa was moping in her room when she got a call.
"Hello. World's worst babysitter speaking." Lisa sighed.
"Lisa, I'm glad I reached you. Are you available to babysit tonight?" said Hibbert.
"Aren't you afraid I might take drugs and injure your children?" Lisa asked confused.
"Yes, that is a concern, but it's so hard to find a sitter... and I've got judo tonight." said Dr Hibbert.
"Um, okay. I'm sorry. Can you hold on, please?" said Lisa taking another call. "Hello?"
"Lisa? Ned Flanders. You available tonight?" said Ned.
"Didn't you hear I almost killed my brother?" said Lisa.
"You did? Just a minute. [Faint Conversation] What time can you come over?" said Ned.
I don't know if I should. Maybe I should go back to selling seeds...
Im an imagination spot.
"Do you want some seeds?" Lisa offers Bart seeds.
"No!" said Bart rudely.
"Babysitting it is then..." Lisa eagerly accepted Hibbert's and Ned's requests.
Then she got another call.
"Lisa this is Luanne Van Houten. Can you babysit tomorrow?" said Luanne.
"Oh I don't know Ms Van Houten. Sorry. Ms Mussolini. That might be awkward because Milhouse has a crush on me..." said Lisa.
"Oh I see. Silly Milly..." Luanne giggled and put down the phone.
Marge and Homer went out again.
"Bart if you want to be in charge, you have to show some responsibility." said Marge.
"Don't worry. I won't be able to get up to much mischief with this broken wing." said Bart with his arm in a sling.
"Well be good kids." said Marge.
Marge and Homer left.